AN: Hello readers! After a month from the last chapter, I've finally returned with an update. School has gone down to at least a manageable level, so uploads are going to go on as normal, with Chapter 44 planned to be released during the week of 4/26.
All I can really say for this chapter is that after nearly a year, we FINALLY move on to August. I'm still hoping to have at least most of the Big Spider Arc wrapped up during the next chapter, though some of it may bleed into Chapter 45 too for what I have planned, so I we'll see.
That all that I have today, so I hope you enjoy this chapter!
As always, please leave a review on anything you liked, think I should work on, or just any questions in general! I enjoy reading them and I will answer them at the end of the next chapter:)
Disclaimer: I do not own A Certain Scientific Railgun/Magical Index or any of its characters...the only things I own are:
1. My characters and
2. my ideas
Chapter 43: Everything's Fine?
July 31st, 7:00PM
District 7 Hospital
"Z, are you sure you're fit enough to leave the hospital tonight?" Misaka asked.
Asher sent her a sideways glance. "Yes, MK." She responded. "My Doctor made sure to tell me directly what would happen if I didn't adhere to what we agreed to. He's not very pleasant to be in front of when he's angry, so I try my best not to cross him-"
"But even with that being the case, don't you think it would be best if we at least rolled you out in a wheelchair as he had recommended earlier?" Shirai asked.
"No, that's not needed. I can walk by my-"
"I know it may not be pleasant," Misaka began before Asher could finish what she was saying. "But Kuroko could teleport us since we're not too far away from the dorm. It'll make it so you don't have to walk as far."
"Oh, good idea Sissy! Does that seem favorable to you as well, Zierdan?"
Asher only let out a sigh in response to the teleporter's question, feeling her energy draining at an exhausting rate from how much her friends were starting to suffocate her with their concern.
They were currently on their way to leave the hospital, where both Misaka and Shirai had asked Asher questions nonstop for how she was currently feeling even after she had insisted that she could indeed walk by herself. It had been quiet for a little while before she made the mistake of turning a corner too fast, which caused the side of her head to hurt enough for a wince to slip under her breath, something she was starting to regret more and more as time went along.
She understood why they were doing this, allowing herself to see the logic in their concern and worry to be projected towards her. That didn't mean that she had to like it though, finding her mood gradually getting worse by the second.
She wasn't necessarily getting mad or annoyed at them from what she could distinguish from her own emotions. All she could tell more or less was that it was mostly directed towards herself and her current circumstances involving her injuries.
She had been the reason why their mission was unsuccessful, even though they hadn't said as such, yet. She knew that Misaka and Shirai knew it too. Why wouldn't they? She was labeled as a Level 5 but was the most injured out of the 3 of them just because of some sound and illogical emotions and memories getting in the way to force her into such a vulnerable and powerless state.
These dark thoughts had been gradually forming inside of head, which was something that she was used to having from time to time. Nowadays, she usually ignored it since her friends always said otherwise.
But she knew her inner thoughts were pretty much right this time.
It would say:
She had been an illogical burden to her friends.
Her cautious nature nearly led to her friends being hurt or worse.
She didn't deserve her Level 5 title for how weak-willed she was.
And she had deserved to be beaten as she had before, knowing that nothing would ever compare to the punishment she rightfully deserved after what almost happened during WaveInflux.
This was just a small part of all the dark thoughts that were swirling in her head, with Misaka's and Shirai's worry seemingly edging them on to make them even worse. She didn't want to feel this way, but she didn't have enough energy to find the logic in why all that was said before about herself was wrong since it was probably 100% right.
That was honestly enough to make some semblance of sadness light in her chest, strong enough that not even her stoic face could hide how she was really feeling for a few passing moments. She came to a halt after a while as her gaze was held towards the ground, which was something that gained Misaka's and Shirai's immediate attention when she had.
"Z?" Misaka said aloud. When she didn't respond, she walked over to the girl but froze when she saw something collecting inside of her blue eyes that she rarely ever saw for as long as they had known each other.
She instinctively reached out and grabbed the side of Asher's face, feeling her stiffen up in surprise before she kept her downcast gaze towards the ground.
"Zierdan. " Misaka pressed again when Asher remained unresponsive. "Please say something and tell us what's wrong. Is something hurting a lot more? Are you upset by something?"
Shirai silently stood off to the side and watched their exchange, feeling her heart drop in her chest when she saw the same, defeated look that had been on Misaka's face earlier currently on Asher's.
["F-For a long time in a while, I felt utterly helpless to do anything." Misaka continued shakily as she looked down at her trembling hand. "I couldn't stop all of those idiots, even though they were right in front of me. I couldn't save her, e-even though she was right there."]
Those two… She thought as her eyes fell, walking over to them when she saw Asher bring a hand up to the one that Misaka had rested on her cheek.
"It's nothing really….I was just…." Asher began before she let out a sigh and gently brought Misaka's hand down to her shoulder. "I was just thinking about something is all."
"Now we both know it's more than that, Zierdan." Shirai said sternly, causing both of her friends to stiffen when her voice came out of nowhere. "We keep telling you over and over again to tell us how you're feeling or when you have issues, and here you are standing here pretending like you don't have any. When are you going to stop allowing that flawed logic of yours to pick and choose when something like that happens? I'm really starting to grow tired of it to say the least."
"Hey Kuroko, some of that was uncalled for!" Misaka stated as she automatically got in between them, knowing the teleporter's words probably would instigate some sort of argument. "I get the frustration, but you could've at least said it a little nicer than-"
"No, it's alright Mikoto." Asher mumbled under her breath as she laid a soft hand on the Electromaster's shoulder. "She's right, so there's not really any logic in me getting upset over it or you lecturing her for who knows how long."
Misaka and even Shirai flinched when they heard those words, completely taken aback on how easily she accepted words that would have normally angered her instantly. Both of them knew that calling her logic into question was a fast and easy way to do it, with the teleporter using that to her advantage in an effort to maybe get Asher distracted enough to not think about whatever was upsetting her.
It didn't seem to work since all it did was cause them both to worry even more, with neither of them moving an inch even when Asher had walked right passed them.
The gravity esper didn't seem to use any of her energy to notice, going on her way down the hallway.
It took few moments before both Misaka and Shirai went to go catch up to her. When they did, they both reached for one of Asher's arms to prompt her to stop in her tracks. She only let out a sigh in response, trying her best to calm her nerves in that moment since she couldn't rest one of her hands behind her neck due to being incidentally restrained from doing so. She also tried to not look in their direction, again not wanting to see the worry layered within their expressions.
"You two, are such worried warts. I can hardly go through an entire week nowadays without one of you expending your energy to worry about the littlest things when I'm involved in some way." She sighed, allowing herself to actually let out a small chuckle under her breath. "And I thought Mikoto was bad, but it seems you're about the same, Kuroko, though a little bit more direct in some respects. I had a feeling that my logic was going to be called into question before I even responded to MK just a few moments ago. Even with you being as perverse as you are, I knew you wouldn't have let what I said go that easily, since you're not as lenient as Mikoto can be at times when she knows I'm not being fully truthful and I'm sorry about that…"
"I'm not purposefully trying to use my logic to dictate when or when not my emotions should be suppressed. It's just very difficult for me to stop doing something that I've been doing for most of my life. I'm trying…really, I am. It may have been uncomfortable at first, but I can tell it's a more efficient use of my time to be more open than shutting myself off to everything no matter how easy it may be for me to do. So please just...give me some time. The last couple of days, but today especially hasn't been the best. I'm feeling a whole ton of things that I honestly still don't know how to fully describe. I want to push them down so I can forget that they're there. But again, I know that's illogical to do, so I'm not going to. I'm going to do better. I promise. Just give me some time to-"
She wasn't able to complete her sentence before she felt 2 pair of arms gently wrap around both her neck and midsection. She did everything that she could to hide the pain that sparked in her system, looking behind her in shock to see both Misaka and Shirai there.
"What are you two…"
"What does it look like, Zierdan?" Shirai asked without any bite in her voice,
Asher looked down at her silently, hearing Misaka laugh in response to Shirai's comment as she tightened her hold around Asher's neck.
"We know that you're trying your best with being more open with yourself. Even with me, I can tell that you're trying your hardest, considering it does usually take a little bit more pressing to get you to start rambling like this. Though nervousness or stress is usually what causes you to do it, so it isn't surprising to hear it from you right now, especially." Misaka said. "Please just remind yourself that you can lean on us even without telling us what's wrong. Whatever happened before isn't nothing if it led to you being upset or saddened in some way. It's natural for anyone to cry, but we all know that it takes a lot for you to even get close to that point. If you can't bring yourself to talk to us about it right now, it's alright. What me and Kuroko are doing now is showing you that we'll still support you no matter how long it takes for you to confide in us or make peace with whatever it is."
"Mine is probably not as good in comparison's to Saten's, but a hug is a hug nonetheless from whoever it comes from." Shirai commented, seeing a small blush rise on Asher's face before she turned away.
"I w-wouldn't say that…" Asher murmured to no one in particular before she let out a small sigh. "But thanks for your understanding."
Both Misaka and Shirai hummed in response as they unwrapped themselves from Asher's body, walking on together to go towards the hospital exit a floor or two below them.
A few minutes later...
When they saw the doors for the exit, Asher paused in her steps from seeing someone she hadn't expected to see here not only this late in the day but just here in general of all places.
"About time you all got down here." The woman said as she leaned off the wall behind her and crossed her arms over her Anti-Skill vest. "I was starting to get worried."
"Miss Yomikawa?" Asher asked in confusion. "When did you…Why are you..."
Asher couldn't finish any of her sentences as she tried to figure out why Yomikawa was standing right in front of her. She struggled for a few moments due to her brain being too spent to actually use any energy for her to think.
Though, it didn't take long before she realized who was responsible, considering the culprits were standing right behind her.
Of course, they would do this and hide it from me, she thought as she turned around and deadpanned at both of her friends who were smiling right back at her.
They went and got the one person that has an almost illogical trait in getting me to talk without forcing me to.
"I thought I told you both not to say anything to anyone." Asher remarked.
"You did." Shirai stated as Misaka raised 2 fingers in the air.
"But only for Saten and Uiharu." Misaka added.
Asher slumped slightly in defeat as a frown subtly came over her stoic face. "It's somewhat annoying when you both pick and choose to read between the lines to that extent. Wouldn't logic dictate that I wouldn't have wanted anyone to come see me like this?"
Yomikawa laughed a little under her breath before she feigned a hurt expression on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset or anger you, Asher. I must be making this worse on you, so I guess I'll go ahead and leave. "
Asher immediately stiffened when she heard that, hearing what she perceived to be some sort of sadness within the woman's voice that instantly made her regret what she said before. "Wait no you didn't!" Asher quickly said as she looked up at her. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry if it sounded like-"
Yomikawa let out another laugh which caused Asher to pause before her head was tilted downwards, feeling the woman's hand gently ruffle her blonde, blue-streaked hair.
"Ha got you. I know you didn't mean it that way, so don't worry. " Yomikawa teased, seeing Asher's cheeks redden before she looked over to the Electromaster and teleporter standing behind her. "Anyway, don't get upset with your friends. It was your Doctor who wanted me to come and got them to contact me."
Asher's lips ran a thin line as she tried to keep herself composed from how flustered she was starting to get, raising a hand up to her neck and let out a small sigh. "He did, did he? " She said under her breath. "He always seems to do that one way or another, even when I tell him not to. I'm old enough to be able to take care of myself."
"Well, even with that, you're still a kid. There are things us adults need to do to make sure you're well-cared for." Yomikawa said with a smile.
"I'm about to turn 15 in October. I'm probably the farthest from being considered a kid now and even a few years before now, Miss Yomikawa." Asher stated as she looked off to the side.
"My point still stands." Yomikawa chuckled. "If it makes you feel any better, everyone your age is a kid in my eyes. You may be more mature for your age, but you're still a little off from being considered an adult."
Asher looked like she was about to let out a retort before she sighed heavily aloud, turning around in an effort to hide the blush that was still trying to grow on her face.
Misaka and Shirai smiled from watching their banter from afar, considering it was a rare sight to see Asher talking so normally to someone else from how relaxed they could tell she was. Her guard seemed to fall completely right from the time she had noticed the woman was here, with the sadness and dark light in her eyes seemingly vanishing in that moment as well.
Even if she didn't show it on her face, they both could tell that Asher liked that Yomikawa was here, probably to the point that she was elated to see her. Shirai may have not seen them interact as often as Misaka had over the years, but she even could see the familial bond they had for each other. They seemed to have a relationship closer to one of a mother and daughter than a mentor and student, with that potential actually having a chance of happening whenever Yomikawa finally decided to tell Asher about her adoption. After Silas had signed the papers, the woman had sent them in to get processed, where she would get word of their approval hopefully sometime in the next few weeks.
It had been hard for them to keep such a secret from Asher, but they knew that this surprise would move her immensely no matter how or when she found out about it.
As Misaka sat there smiling over at her friend, it started to fall when her mind gradually went back to what happened hours before with Skill-Out, with Asher's pleas for that guy to stop running rampant thought her mind enough for her to start to lose hold on the real plane of existence as her mind faded back to that time and place.
"I-I'm sorry. I know I messed up and failed. I promise I'll d-do better, so please give me one more chance. I don't….I-I don't want to be punished. I-I….I'm sorry!"
Those heartbreaking cries reminded her of the ones that she had heard from the esper during the time she had been recovering in the hospital after her coma. She had been so scared and frightened, an emotion that was able to get into the Electromaster's chest during that time, along with here and now even if she wouldn't acknowledge it. Being the 3rd ranked Level 5 Electromaster of Academy City meant that showing fear should be below her, meaning what she was currently feeling was something else entirely.
All she knew was that she didn't want what happened then to happen again a second time, especially before Asher was able to recover from her injuries. But that would mean asking her not to help them out on the Big Spider case, something she knew she would be opposed to doing. She didn't, however, allow any part of herself to care about that, knowing that decision needed to be made whether the girl liked it or not.
She wasn't going to watch her best friend go through something like that again.
Go through something that would end up hurting her, maybe even worse this time.
She refused to allow her to willfully go somewhere without any care for what may happen just because she and Shirai were involved or the misplaced blame she put on herself for what happened during WaveInflux.
Considering all of the blame…
Should have fallen to Misaka herself.
["If she had never met you, she wouldn't have even wanted to do this! But then again when she did, you should've known from the beginning that something was wrong, but you didn't…you never ever did! You failed her!"]
["You've probably noticed haven't you!? How hard it is for me to do what you do and pretend that NOTHING happened! Whenever I'm even reminded just the smallest bit, it's almost like I fall apart into tiny pieces that somehow always goes back together again and again and AGAIN. I hardly eat…Hardly sleep and can hardly THINK whenever that happens, trapped by my own thoughts from the damn noise of this world! And it's all because of you and your selfish desire of keeping me alive to not feel bad about yourself! To not feel bad that you weren't paying attention or knew that your best friend was constantly suffering for your sake!"]
["You just had to go and ruin our fun for some worthless goal of becoming her savior! She was already saved...saved by me, NOT you, and now you've screwed her up even more! A naïve, prideful idiot like you has no right to believe you could save anyone, RAILGUN!"]
Misaka's eyes went wide as soon as she felt as if she had heard all of those voices from right next to her, flinching hard as she turned around to see that no one was there. It felt like in only seconds that she was suffocating under an influx of emotions and feelings that seemed to come out of nowhere, unable to get her body to stop shaking as whatever happened in that moment seemed to begin to dissipate when she felt a gentle hand land on her arm.
She looked down at Shirai next to her, seeing her look up at her in worry. Not much time had seemed to pass during whatever Misaka had been stuck in what she considered to just be some twisted memory her mind wanted to wander to.
"What is it Kuroko?" Misaka asked as steady as she could, feeling irritation rise up in her soul that she had to in the first place.
"I was just checking on you after you got really quiet, Sissy." Shirai stated. "You seem disturbed by something. Are you okay?"
"I…" Misaka began, pausing to think of what she wanted to say. She let out a small breath after a while as she brought a hand up to her temple to rub the stress headache that was starting to come on suddenly. "I've been better. Just, stressed from all that happened today."
"Yeah, I get the feeling." Shirai stated with a solemn smile. "Good thing her injuries weren't too severe. With how much time she tries to lie around during the day, she'll hopefully recover from her concussion in the next few days smoothly. Although, she usually does the opposite when she knows that she has to, where she's probably going to distract herself by focusing more on helping us with our investigation into Big Spider."
"Yeah…" Misaka agreed before her eyes fell slightly.
Zierdan isn't necessarily the best at times when it comes to managing her stress, something I know this investigation is going to make even worse than it already is since she has been having anxiety and sleeping issues these last couple of days. She thought, with a part of her thinking back to how she found the girl a day after they had met with Silas to get information on the Level Upper.
["It's illogical to try i-if I can't. Every time I close my eyes…he's there. Silas is always there a-and I'm alone. A-All alone with him." Asher mumbled before she shook her head and let out a wince, grabbing the side of her head. "I need to figure out the Level Upper. I need to expend my energy to somewhere useful and not think of him. Maybe when I'm done and can figure it out, I c-can maybe be able to sleep, but I ju-just can't do it now. I have to fi-finish this first. I have to...I h-have to."]
And with that device and that guy hurting her to the point she had some sort of flashback and anxiety attack…I don't think it would be the best idea for her to still help. I know she's already near the edge of nearly cracking under the pressure again from what I can tell, no matter how much she tries to hide it.
Whether on accident or on purpose, all she's going to do right now is push herself if she continues on with this investigation, prioritizing everything above her well-being when it's logically justified.
Just like….
["To be completely honest with you, Mikoto, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't care if I destroyed myself in this process and I would do it again and again without the slightest bit of hesitation. As long as I know I'm a danger to everyone around me, I won't stop until that possibility is all but diminished."]
…
I can't.
I don't…want to see her like that or after Silas or just in any way at all that I'm powerless to do anything to help. It reminds me too m-much of….
She didn't allow herself to complete that thought, not wanting to even go down that line of memories that had been more or less suppressed to some extent for these last few years.
Her not participating in this investigation is the best course of action for right now as she recovers.
"Hey Kuroko," Misaka said aloud as she looked towards the ground.
"Huh, yes Sissy?"
"There's something I need to talk to you about either on our way or when we get to the dorm." Misaka said, clenching her hands at her sides to reaffirm her determination in her decision.
I know you're not going to like it.
But…
This, Zierdan, is for your own good.
A little while later…
Asher was staring up into the starry sky above her with a stoic expression on her face, feeling her body rock back and forth gently as Yomikawa handled some of her weight on her back.
They had barely left through the doors of the hospital before her ribs decided that was the most logical time to give her some trouble, aching more and more every step she took to where it got harder to both move and breath after a few moments of doing so. Yomikawa promptly suggested that she ride on her back, a suggestion that she hardly had any time to consider before the woman lightly forced her to do so at the risk of her bridal carrying her instead if she had refused.
It wasn't as if she was against it per say, with some part of herself liking being on the woman's back to an extent. It was just that she hadn't wanted her to go out of her way to do it at the same time, not wanting to put the burden of something like this on her.
As she sat there and passively gazed at the stars above her, she missed the sideways glance that Yomikawa sent her from below. She could tell that the Gravity esper was trying her best not to start a conversation, almost as if there was something that she wanted to hide. From the first moment she had laid eyes on her from afar tonight, she had already known that Asher was upset or troubled by something. She didn't have to ask if that was the case from just seeing it in her eyes, seeing a sadder light shining within them more so than its usual light that contained her curiosity.
Overall, she just seemed…depressed, something that was apparent even during the time they were conversing with one another. She had a feeling that she could accurately guess what it probably was related to, although it wouldn't help Asher at all until she admitted her issues herself.
So, after walking a few more moments in silence, Yomikawa let out a small breath that was loud enough to catch some of Asher's attention.
"Well, Zierdan, I think you've kept this up long enough." Yomikawa lightly began. "Come on, tell me what's on your mind. I think you've been with me long enough these last couple years to know that you shouldn't hold anything back from me."
Asher's face fell slightly, with her releasing a sigh under her breath. She unwrapped one of her arms from Yomikawa's neck to rest on the back of her own from how quickly she seemed to get nervous in that moment.
"There's nothing really for me to say other than the truth of this situation." Asher remarked as her face fell even farther. "I prevented both Kuroko and Mikoto from succeeding in this investigation just because of my illogical handicaps. I was a burden to them, which forced them to feel obligated to protect and save me, even though I should have the power protect myself with being a Level 5 in this city. And they had to sit there and watch as I was beaten senselessly into the ground by a guy who had a grudge against me, something that even the person who's supposedly the head of Big Spider allowed for the very fact of knowing who I am."
Some surprise lit Yomikawa's face. She hadn't expected Asher to say all of that so easily. She usually had to gently goad her into giving her parts of the full story, with it being rare that she would say something like this so willingly and quickly.
She had to even contemplate on where she should start off, deciding that it was probably for the best to begin with the second point that she made since it did seem to connect with the other ones.
"Well, one thing I can quickly write off that list, is telling you that you are not a burden to anyone to any degree." Yomikawa stated genuinely. "It is not your fault that something like this happened. No matter who you are, everyone has something they struggle with. Whether it's something small like getting good grades or in your case your sound hypersensitivity and mental struggles, everyone has something of their own that they have to deal with and manage. That's something that makes all of us human."
"But that shouldn't accurately apply to someone like me. Someone who has enough power and skill with her ability to be acknowledged and seem worthy of holding the title of a Level 5 esper." Asher retorted. "I may still struggle with a few things, sure, but someone like me shouldn't be taken out so easily just because of some sound or flashback. I should be able to push through these struggles and allow myself to make them nearly obsolete. Not be at their mercy to the point that everyone's life around me is in danger depending on what my mentality decides to do at that moment."
"Even if I can't relate to being a Level 5 esper, I can understand the logic behind why you say that. But again, Zierdan, even Level 5's like you and Misaka are human. You both have strengths which are maybe seen easier to others, but you also have weakness that are hard to see at times to those around you and even yourself." Yomikawa explained before her lips turned up into a slight smile. "For example, I know one of your strengths is that you're a very caring and kind person even if you won't admit it. You think a lot about others due to your curiosity in wanting to find out almost everything about them. I would say your intelligence is another redeeming thing about you. Though, I'd say your weakness plays a part in restricting it at times for how much you try to keep people from seeing it even though you should from how fascinating it can be. You need to be more confident in yourself, so that everyone can see the you I've had the honor of knowing these last couple years."
Asher's face heated up slightly when she heard that, looking off to the side in an effort to hide it. It still surprised her to this day that people like Yomikawa, Misaka, and even others like Kuroko, Saten, and Uiharu existed. To think they would be able to read someone like her almost effortlessly, someone who had walls up for years to even prevent that from happening. Sometimes she wondered if her actions were too predictable at times, but she knew at one point that wasn't the case.
She wasn't predictable, they were.
For being predictably illogical….
She was always surrounded by illogical people, an illogical thought in itself from how highly she holds her own logic. This woman in particular that was saying such things to a girl that most wouldn't even dare approach after they saw the true extent of her ability up close, was probably the most illogical even when compared to Misaka. She didn't have any reasons behind why she thought that, but it had to be true for her words that talked about both her strengths and weaknesses to equally cause this influx of relief and other emotions that she couldn't describe flood into her chest.
A feeling that she had felt for as long as she could remember but was afraid of fully accepting it from knowing what happens to the people that she feels that strongly for.
"Did I hit it right on the nose?" Yomikawa asked after a while when Asher had grown silent, just smiling at the image in her head of how bright the girl's face probably was.
Before she could say anything else, she stiffened slightly when she felt Asher's forehead press against the back of her neck. The arms that had been resting on her shoulders also moved to snugly wrap themselves around her neck as well, which caused some surprise to grow inside of her chest. It was almost like the girl was hugging her from behind, which was pretty rare for the gravity esper to do for how much she avoided having any sort of close contact with most people at times, even her.
"Asher? Is there something wrong?" She asked.
"No…." Asher mumbled with an edge of both nervousness and sleepiness in her voice. "There isn't. It's just…"
She paused for a time, trying to find the right words to somehow express her complex feelings. She was also trying to fight off the sleepiness that seemed to just come out of nowhere in that moment as well. It was almost like this weight had been temporarily lifted off of her shoulders, with her insomnia and anxiety deciding to go away to allow her to actually relax for just a moment.
"I-It's just…" She repeated as her eyes began to close. "Thank you f-for always being there for me….Miss….A-Aiho…"
A rare blush lit up Yomikawa's face when she heard the amount of emotion within the girl's voice, especially when it came to her saying her first name. Before she tried to say anything in response, she felt the arms around her neck go slack ever so slightly, prompting her to turn around and see Asher's sleeping face. It looked so peaceful, something that warmed her soul to see it as she let out a sigh to calm the blush still trying to increase on her cheeks.
This kid, she thought as she looked up at the same stars that Asher had been looking up at before.
This girl, Zierdan Asher….
I love her so much.
As she walked on towards the Tokiwadai dorm, Misaka and Shirai walked behind her at a distance. Misaka had wanted to talk privately with Shirai for a time before they arrived at the dorm, actively making sure she was out Asher's range of hearing while also keeping their voices quiet.
When she told Shirai what she wanted to do in terms of not having Asher be a part of the Big Spider investigation anymore, she saw surprise light up her face as doubt grew in her eyes.
"Are you sure that's a good idea, Sissy?" She asked. "I understand not having her go onto the scene of the investigation. But you want her to not even participate to any extent?"
"No, I don't." Misaka responded.
"But Sissy, we both know how Zierdan is going to react to something like that." Shirai stated as her eyebrows curled up in some sort of worry. "I know that you want her to rest and recover, but we both know she's not going to sit idly by while we do something like this by ourselves. It'll probably end up upsetting her."
"I know." Misaka stated as her eyes fell slightly, clenching her hands to help settle her resolve that was starting to waver. "But this…Kuroko I think is the best course of action to take for something like this. I know it'll upset her but at the same time, I know how she operates and thinks probably better than anyone. All she's going to do is push herself even if she doesn't have to or want to. She has done it so many times just in this month alone, with this situation in itself having the potential to being the worse out of all of them."
"Maybe, but you've seen how much she has started to change over these last few weeks. I'm sure she'll take it easy if we and even Saten and Uiharu asked her to-"
"Yes, but I can't risk that!" Misaka lowly snapped, recoiling seconds after she did so from seeing the surprised look on Shirai's face.
Shirai knew that she wasn't snapping out of anger at her. She could see how much stress Misaka seemed to be under. She could tell that it was due to what happened to Asher today, but since she hadn't been open to sharing anything else, Shirai couldn't figure out why she seemed both jumpy and at this moment just….scared, something she hardly ever saw from her but when she did it usually involved someone close to her.
Silence fell between them for a time as they kept walking in an effort to not draw any suspicion to themselves from Yomikawa and Asher who were in front of them. It was remained that way until Misaka let out a small breath and grabbed her right hand to stop it from trembling.
"I'm sorry, I didn't…I didn't mean to yell at you like that." Misaka said under her breath. "It's just…."
"No, I understand, Sissy." Shirai said with a smile in order to quell the amount of hurt that she could see on Misaka's face. "You're just worried about Zierdan's well-being. I'm sure that if she was in your position, she would be about as stressed as you are right now. I may not fully agree with this idea, but I'll stand by whatever you decide to do. Just have in mind that you know better than anyone how you would react if she did something like this to you."
Misaka's eyes widened slightly before they fell again from hearing Shirai's words, with some part of it ringing true though did strengthen her resolve just a bit more. Asher may be a patient person, but her patience does tend to thin quicker when it comes to the times that the Electromaster pushes herself just as much as she did for no reason. She literally knocked her out a couple days ago when she was sick without any sort of hesitation, meaning what she was doing now was just about the same.
She didn't realize, however, that their reasons behind doing it were different.
Asher had done what she did for both her own good and out of concern, while Misaka's decision was fueled by an emotion she didn't want to acknowledge or accept was starting to rise up to the surface too much for her to control.
"Thank you, Kuroko." She said as warmly she could with a small smile. "I can be the one to break the news to her when we get back to our rooms."
"Oh nonono, Sissy, that definitely won't do." Shirai stated before she swooned and tried to wrap her arms around Misaka in a more or less unprofessional manner as a Judgement officer. "My true love mustn't go into something like this by herself for my sake. I'll accompany you. "
"Kuroko!" Misaka shouted in surprise as she tried to get the teleporter from crushing her. "Hey stop!"
Yomikawa turned to look over at the commotion behind her, laughing a little under her breath as she turned back around. "Come on you two lovebirds, stop fighting." She stated. "We need to make it back before Asher gets too comfortable. I think you both know as much as I do how hard it will be to wake her up at that point."
Both Shirai's and Misaka's faces flashed red when their minds got stuck on the word "lovebirds," though for different reasons. Shira smiled passionately while Misaka had a pure look of embarrassment as her blush covered her entire face.
"Aw, Sissy! Even Miss Yomikawa recognizes our love for each other!" Shirai swooned, reaching over to grab onto Misaka again before the Electromaster began to run away.
"Ah, stop Kuroko! This isn't funny at all!" She shouted, running past Yomikawa as Shirai remained in pursuit through using her ability.
Yomikawa stopped in her tracks and watched both of the girls, seeing them get so far in a short amount of time to the point she could hardly even see them right now. She let out a small laugh as she began to walk again.
"You always seem to surround yourself with some interesting people, Zierdan." She said aloud as she felt the girl shift slightly on her back.
"Yeah…illogically loud ones at that." Asher mumbled sleepily. "I can never get any sort of peace and quiet whenever they're around….Even though they know I have a hearing sensitivity."
Yomikawa laughed aloud as she started to increase her pace, feeling Asher's arm around her neck beginning to grow even slacker than it had been before.
"Well, even with that, I'm grateful that you have people like them in your life. They probably make life not seem as stale as you thought of it before, right?"
Asher went silent from hearing that, remembering the time that Yomikawa had been referring to. Even though they had met after she had Misaka as a friend, back then she still had a difficult time trying to figure out why her life felt so empty and dull whenever Misaka, Yomikawa, and even Yoshikawa and her own mother weren't around. Even though she had been alone for a long time early in her life, she knew that she hadn't ever felt that way before.
When she had admitted that to Yomikawa after she had finally broken through her stoic exterior, she said that she needed to find a purpose for living for herself and not just rely on others to do it for her, something she honestly didn't understand for a very long time considering she had forgotten it completely.
But even with her amnesia, some part of her seemed to find that answer out on her own over these last few weeks. She had been reminded time and time again to lean on her friends when she needed to, but also remind herself of how important her life was to them and should be for her.
Silas had prevented her from seeing the value in others and herself for a very long time in her life, something she realized that the lives of her friends made up for and that she needed to also make strides to see the value in her life as well.
"Yeah, you're right." Asher remarked softly as she cracked open her blue eyes. "I wouldn't trade any of my friends for anything in the world. They're…too precious to me."
"I know, I can see that. They make you happy even with their illogical behavior. " The older woman lightly remarked.
She thought back to a version of the Asher she had just met a few years back, seeing such a dull look in her eyes where it took a while for her to be one of the few that actually brought the light out hidden within them.
She thought back to the Asher who had been so scared and petrified of others when she had awoken from her coma, to where again she had to regain the girl's trust to get access back into her heart.
Now, she thought about the girl who was riding on her back right now, seeing such a new light in her eyes nowadays that she never imagined was possible. The programming that Silas had forced into his stepdaughter seemed to be breaking by the day. Her mental trauma and physical injuries may be irreversible, but that didn't mean she couldn't change.
She had so much so before her own eyes in this last month alone with the arrival her new friends.
Which was something that she wanted to see and cherish every moment of whenever she could.
Tokiwadai Dormitory
About 15 minutes later...
Once the dorms were insight, Yomikawa began to awaken the sleeping girl on her back, hearing her let out a long yawn before she stretched her hands out into the air. Yomikawa then gently guided her down to the ground. It took only moments for Asher to notice that the pain in her ribs seemed to be a lot more manageable in comparison to earlier, prompting her to thank the woman for carrying her here.
When they made it to the front where Misaka and Shirai were waiting for them, they waved goodbye to Yomikawa as she waved back and departed into the darkness of the night. That prompted them all to turn around and enter the doors of their dorm, getting startled by the Head Resident who was standing there to greet them with her arms crossed over her chest.
They stood there in fear for a few seconds before they relaxed to some extent, nearly forgetting that Asher's doctor had sent a note to her to excuse them from not arriving to the dorm before curfew.
None of them even dared to speak, though, when they saw the intensity of her stare. It honestly felt like her eyes were staring into their souls, with that feeling increased on Asher's end when she began to walk towards her.
Asher couldn't maintain the eye contact for long and had to look away, before she was surprised by a hand that had such a gentle touch come down and glide over the bandages located on the side of her head.
"Why is it that you always come here injured in some way?" The Head Resident murmured too low for Misaka or Shirai to hear. Asher had stiffened in surprise since she had been able to hear it, though, looking over and seeing the older woman's eyes radiating some semblance of concern within her gaze that was trying to come up to the surface.
She never understood why moments like this happened between them, remembering as far back to when she first became a student at Tokiwadai in that program that allowed her, Misaka, and Shokuhou to start attending early.
It wasn't too hard for her to tell how much she seemed to care about all of the girls that were here at her dorm, though, with their interactions falling into to those rare moments that she didn't hide that fact.
They stood like that for a time before Asher found some confidence to speak, letting out a sigh as she brought a hand up to the back of her neck. "I honestly don't know." She simply said as her eyes fell slightly. "My personality tends to have a high chance of rubbing others the wrong way without much energy."
Silence fell between them before the Head Resident backed away, ignoring the surprised looks on Misaka's and Shirai's face for the gesture that she just did to their friend.
"You three have exactly 15 minutes to get settled into your rooms." She stated as she turned to walk away. "I expect you to be there when I make my rounds around that time. Meaning, I hope to not find you in any rooms, but your own." She paused to look over her shoulder, wearing a serious glint in her glasses that prevented each of them from being able to see her eyes. "Do I make myself clear?"
"Y-Yes ma'am!"
This prompted the Head Resident to start walking again, with them each letting out a collective sigh of relief when she got out of their view.
This had been the first hurdle that Misaka and Shirai had been able to get over, growing nervous at the last as they got closer and closer to their rooms. Asher could sense this unnatural amount of tension in the air from her friends that were walking behind her, leaving her somewhat confused for its existence and for how quiet they both seemed to be.
It seemed to grow gradually all the way to when they made it up the stairs and to their doors. She was about to tell them goodnight before she was surprised to see them come to her door instead, which made her even more nervous.
"Hey, Z? We need to talk to you about something." Misaka stated as Asher unlocked the door and held it open for them both to go in first.
"Okay, it has to be quick since we have only about 10 or so minutes remaining before the Head Resident comes up here." Asher responded, automatically taking off her Tokiwadai vest when she closed the door behind her. She walked over to her bed and began to unbutton her white-collared shirt. "It must be important if it can't wait until the morning."
"Yeah, it is." Shirai stated as she went over and laid a hand on Asher's shoulder. "And you should probably sit down while we discuss it."
Asher looked down at the teleporter in surprise as she stopped in the middle of unbuttoning her shirt. She then looked over at Misaka and saw the same, almost grave expression on her face. She did as she was asked and sat down on her bed as Misaka and Shirai sat on the extra one across from her.
As she had said earlier, Misaka had been the one to explain why it was necessary that Asher shouldn't help them with the Big Spider investigation anymore due to her injuries and stress level from her anxiety and insomnia. She told her that they didn't want a repeat of today and tried to appeal to her logic that she was in no condition to do what probably needed to be done even if it was to sit at the Judgment office and help them over the phone.
After she was done, silence rang out through the room as Asher's expression was hidden under the shadows of her blonde hair. Misaka and Shirai knew what was probably going to happen next: Asher was going to argue that this investigation was too important for her not to be on because of such things or that her injuries weren't as bad as they thought they were.
That she could be helpful even if she couldn't physically go on the scene with them.
But…
To their surprise, none of that happened.
Asher raised her face to look over at them with an expression that wasn't really stoic, but at the same time, didn't really express one particular emotion over the other and…smiled?
"Alright, that's fine." Asher remarked as she lowered her blue eyes to the ground. "I sort of figured as much anyway so…it's fine."
Shirai looked over at Asher in surprise as Misaka smiled at her response.
"Good." Misaka simply stated as she rose up to her feet and looked down over at Shirai. "Well, Kuroko, we should probably be getting back to our room."
When the teleporter didn't say anything in response, Misaka looked over and saw her looking at Asher, prompting her to lie a hand on her shoulder.
"Kuroko?"
Shirai jumped slightly from hearing her name before she looked up at the Electromaster with a wavering smile on her face. "Oh! Sorry Sissy. I'll follow you out."
Misaka nodded as she walked over to the door. "Goodnight, Z. Remember to take the sleeping pills that your doctor gave to you."
"I will, Goodnight MK."
As Misaka left, Shirai was right behind her before she stopped right before the door, turning to look over at the girl who had remained in the same spot since their discussion.
It surprised her that Misaka had taken Asher's response at face value, considering she knew that it was odd for Asher to be just "fine" with this without any sort of fight or having to convince her that was the case. She could tell that she was anything but "fine" at the moment from how much she avoided even the slightest amount of eye contact with her.
"What is it Kuroko?" Asher asked from afar as she let out a small breath. "The Head Resident could be up here in any minute."
Shirai stood there for a minute longer before she sighed and closed the door behind her, teleporting to be right in front of Asher who still hadn't even tried to look at her. "Zierdan, are you really okay with this?"
"Kuroko didn't I just-"
"I know." Shirai stated before she could finish. "I just want to make sure."
Asher sat there for a minute before she let out a long sigh of her own, bringing her gaze to look up at Shirai again with a small smile on her face.
"Yeah I am." Asher responded. "I wouldn't be able to keep up with you both anyway with how I am right now. So, if you both think this is the most logical decision then, it's fine. Just stop worrying over it and go."
There was an edge of emotion that Shirai could hear in her voice, an emotion that was too muddled with too many other ones for her to figure out whether it was fake or not. She decided to stop and just wait to see how Asher was in the morning, humming in response as she teleported off to her room.
Asher sat there as her head began to lower down to the floor as she slowly brought both of her hands to rest on the back of her neck. As she had said before, she hadn't been surprised by this. It was only logical to cut out your weakest link in situations that couldn't have any. And they couldn't be burdened by her issues as they would lose focus on doing this investigation.
Her staying here in this room for the next couple days was the best thing that she should do in order to not get anyone's way or worry them to any extent.
At least, all of those things were what she was trying to convince herself was logically the case.
It couldn't logically explain why she honestly had felt so numb when Misaka had said all that she had said to her and even now. To see and hear that even her best friend didn't believe that she could help was honestly what she could say was soul-crushing.
It meant that she was useless.
And that uselessness and weakness led to her being an illogical burden that even Misaka didn't have the patience to deal with at this time.
And these thoughts allowed the dark ones from before to come back, turning that numbness into an emotion so painful that it felt like something was stabbing her chest. All the work that Yomikawa just being there earlier seemed to disappear as she had forgotten for a moment all of the nice things she had said to her.
She knew right then and there, after she had allowed everything to settle in and forced her body to fall under the effects of a sleeping pill, and even into the next morning…
That she wasn't fine.
And didn't know when or if she ever would be.
August 1st, 11:00AM
Joseph's Restaurant
Misaka and Shirai were sitting at a table with Saten and Uiharu, where the Tokiwadai girls were bombarded with tons and tons of questions regarding their investigation yesterday. They had just finished explaining most of the events that had happened other than the parts involving Asher, mostly just revealing to them that Konori of all people had a connection with the leader or more accurately, former leader of Big Spider, Kurozuma Wataru.
They were both confused and in shock if that was the case, never even allowing themselves to believe for a second that Konori would ever align with someone who would go around and promote beating up other girls like their friend Kongou.
This only led to more confusion as Misaka had to explain to them that this Kurozuma that Konori knew was a totally different Kurozuma they had believed was the current leader of Big Spider.
As she did, Shirai sat there off to the side staring down into her tea, completely wrapped up in her thoughts though still somehow heard most of the conversation that was going on right next to her.
She just couldn't stop thinking back to what happened during their confrontation with Big Spider last evening, with her mind still trying to figure out how things got bad so quickly. She also couldn't stop thinking about a certain gravity esper who wasn't here with them, honestly finding herself feeling like everything was off even though the girl hardly ever participated in casual conversation like these. It was like there was a small void that she knew the others felt as well. Even if Asher wasn't much of a talker at times, it seemed to be enough to know that she was listening and taking much thought into what they were saying to be enough for all of them.
She had a hard time going to sleep last night, tossing and turning and unable to stop her mind from being dragged back to the discussion that Misaka had with Asher when they came back to the hospital. She couldn't understand why Asher had allowed Misaka to win so easily, knowing the girl would have argued against things even smaller than that with her.
Even though it seemed out of character in the moment, she could only guess that she had somehow been able to logically justify why she shouldn't fight it even before the conversation. Meaning she had probably been thinking the entire time that the discussion was going to happen.
She also couldn't figure out why Misaka had been so content with that response and didn't say anything else on the matter even though she knew that it upset Asher in some way.
She seemed to be avoiding Asher anyway she could, which was something that she had first realized when the Electromaster herself had sent her to check on Asher before they had left. She had made the excuse that she hadn't wanted to overwhelm her with their worry and concern as to why she didn't want to go herself, but Shirai knew it was much more than that.
She knew that Asher knew it too when she had come into her room that morning, seeing a side of the esper that she hadn't seen in a while to where it was probably worse in comparison.
A few hours ago…
Tokiwadai Dormitory
Shirai walked over to Asher's door and knocked on it a few times. She waited there for a few moments before she did it again, a little harder this time.
"Zierdan!" She called out. "Sissy and I were about to leave, and she wanted me to check on you before we left. Can you please let me in?"
She was only answered with silence, which prompted her to release a sigh.
"Honestly…" She said under her breath as she automatically teleported inside. "Why do you always have to be so difficult in the morning, Zier…dan?"
She trailed off as she looked around the room and saw no sign of the esper who was supposed to be in here. She was confused but only for a brief moment after her ears started to faintly pick up on the sound of rushing water coming from the shower in the bathroom.
She teleported inside without a single thought, knowing that this was a sign of something worse enough for the potential that she was actually taking a shower. When she got inside, she looked over towards the door and saw Asher sitting her back on the door with her head between her knees. It looked like she was sleeping, a lot sounder in comparison to when she found her in here like this the last time.
She looked at her for a time before she walked over to the shower, reaching down towards the shower knob to turn it off.
"Kuroko, please leave that alone. I always tell you that it isn't logical to just break in here and start turning things off…"
Shirai jumped slightly from being startled by Asher abruptly talking out of nowhere, swerving her head around to look over at the girl who was still sitting in the same position as before. She had her knees brought up all the way to her chest as she seemed to keep her gaze either to her feet or on the floor underneath her, not even attempting to look up in the teleporter's direction.
"Well excuse me for trying to check on a friend who's on her first day of recovering from injuries that range in overall severity." Shirai stated, as she walked over until she was right in front of her. "And can you blame me? The last time I found you like this, you ended up in the hospital hours later from a combination of overextending your ability and having a complete mental break."
"It's illogical that you keep throwing that in my face with so many things I could say about you." Asher sighed as she brought one of her hands to rest on the back of her neck. "It's not like I knew about my chemical imbalance that day in comparison to how much you know you're a pervert for as long as I've apparently known you."
The sheer bluntness in Asher's tone went to levels even above what Shirai had thought was possible, which caused her to both sweatdrop and internally question why that was even the case. As she was looking down, she noticed how small Asher seemed even though she was taller than her and even Misaka by just an inch or two. Seeing her huddled in on herself as she was, honestly reminded of her child hiding from something that they feared.
She stood there for a few moments before she bent down to the ground and laid a hand on Asher's shoulder, feeling the trembling that she hadn't even noticed before suddenly tamper off in an instant.
"Since you're in here and not in your bed, did you…"
"Yeah," Asher answered before she continued any further. "Yeah I did, but it isn't surprising from all that had happened yesterday."
"Why didn't you contact either me or Sissy?" Shirai asked. "From how cold that water was, you must have been in here at least since this morning."
"Because it wasn't logical to get either of you to help since neither of you would have been able to." Asher stated stoically, rising up to her feet in which caused Shirai to let go of her shoulder. She walked over to the shower to turn the water off and promptly went back to walk passed the teleporter. "My anxiety is so high right now that even my meds are hardly working to manage a small percentage of it. So honestly neither of you would have made much of a difference if I had come asked for your help anyway."
"You could've at least, tried contacting us, Zierdan." Shirai pressed in concern as she grabbed Asher's arm to prevent her from walking away. "I may have only known you for nearly 2 months now, but Sissy has known you for much longer. I know she would have been able to think of a way on how we could have assisted you if you had at least tried to get one of us."
Asher remained silent before Shirai heard her let out a long breath.
"Do you really think it's that easy Kuroko?" Asher asked, with almost an edge of either annoyance or anger in her voice. "That me calling either of you would have just been able to lower my anxiety in an instant and prevent me from illogically freaking out for no reason at all?"
"You know that's not what I meant. We could have been able to-"
"Do what?" Asher asked coldly, cutting her off. "Tell me that everything's going to be okay when my mind says otherwise? To breath even though it honestly feels like I'm suffocating or having a stroke or heart attack when I get like that? That I'm safe and my emotions are being illogical when I already know that the entire damn time?"
She snatched her arm out of Shirai's hand and narrowed her blue, ice filled eyes. "Yeah, maybe that works sometimes. But I know it wouldn't have helped me to hear such illogical things right then at any capacity, especially from you and even Mikoto. You don't have any time to waste on staying here to try and understand something that you can't or try to help someone who doesn't want it or deserve it."
Shirai flinched when she heard those words come from her mouth, unable to move for a time as Asher walked away and laid on her bed with her back towards her.
"But…you do deserve it. You deserve it the most out of any of us after what you had to go through yesterday." Shirai said after a while, walking over and sitting down on the esper's bed. "Zierdan, what happened yesterday was not your fault."
"That's where I have to disagree." Asher mumbled lowly. "Again, as I said when we were at Big Spider's hideout, we all could have been blamed for something. But the percentage is considerably higher for what I'm responsible for, meaning that statement is illogical when compared to the facts of the matter. My very existence within this was enough to cause tensions to run high and boil over when we confronted Kurozuma or whoever the hell that guy is at his hideout, which led to a fight where I couldn't even defend myself or have enough power to protect the both of you…"
"And you…" Asher paused as if she was getting choked up on her words, gripping the sheets tighter in her grasps. "You were kicked right in front of me and I couldn't even do anything to stop it. And then you both had to sit there and watch me get continuously pummeled into the ground and have some type of anxiety attack because of my illogical PTSD wanting to screw me over at the worst possible time, and now Mikoto sees me more as a liability than she ever has before and can't even bring herself to see me at all."
"Oh, Zierdan you know that isn't true." Shirai stated as she lightly laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Sissy's just worried about you. She wants to make sure that you actually take your recovery seriously since you are well-known for not doing so."
A long silence fell in the room before Asher's arm began to move up towards Shirai's hand, gently knocking it off her shoulder as she used one of her pillows to cover her face.
"Well, if Mikoto was just worried about me, she would've come with you and not send you in here by yourself. Like you said, I've known her for years, to where I know that she hovers and nearly drives me insane when she's worried about me." She mumbled, with her stoicness falling enough for Shirai to hear an edge of sadness in her voice. "And she's doing none of that. It's more logical to say that she's…avoiding me to the extent that she didn't' even return my text after I had said good morning to her. Meaning she's either angry or upset and doesn't' want to be reminded of what happed yesterday. And I don't blame her because who would want to be reminded of how useless I am."
"But Zierdan, Sissy would never-"
"Go." Asher said softly, with her voice hollowed out completely. "Just tell her that I'm fine and taking a nap."
"But you aren't just fi-"
"Kuroko!" Asher shouted, prompting Shirai to stop and stand there in disbelief. "Please just….get out before I go instead."
Shirai's eyes widened at that ultimatum before a solemn expression fell on her face, doing what she was asked and teleported out of the room.
Present...
Shirai let out a small sigh under her breath, bringing her drink up to her face and took a small sip.
This entire situation seems to be getting worse by the minute, she thought as she closed her eyes and took another sip of her drink.
There were two problems that she needed to fix that involved both of the Level 5 espers, where she could only figure out the reasons behind for why one of them happened.
Asher was already having a hard time trying to manage both physically and emotionally after Skill-out had assaulted her. She had been improving as the night went along, before they asked her to not be a part of this investigation in any way. Even though she said that she was fine with it, what happened with her this morning showed that she was anything but that.
She was starting to fall back on old habits and ignore how she was feeling for everyone except for herself, wanting to shut down emotionally in the process to avoid acknowledging any of her feelings. She had been in enough arguments with the esper to know that this was true, meaning she knew how hard it was probably going to be to stop it before it spiraled any worse.
She was probably the one who would have the easiest time to figure out what was wrong with Misaka, however. The Electromaster was somehow acting like herself but not at the same time, knowing that she was hiding something that Asher would probably be able to narrow down instantly.
Which was probably the reason behind why she was trying to avoid her…
She was honestly stuck on what to do on the matter since she had never been put into this position before. The two espers usually got along pretty well, where Misaka was the one to keep her and Asher from arguing for hours on end at times. They may not have been arguing in the usual sense right now, but there was a notable divide in their relationship that she knew would last for a long while if nothing was done to resolve it.
What am I going to do? She thought as she slightly cracked her eyes open.
Even with Zierdan's laziness, they're both so stubborn when it comes to things like this. I'd probably have an easier time talking to a wall than trying to get either of them to talk about what's bothering them.
She sat there for a while thinking on it until her ears tuned back completely to the conversation happening around her, seeing the Electromaster turn to look over at her in annoyance out of the corner of her eye.
"Hey, do you wanna chime in, Kuroko?" She asked with a quirked eyebrow. "You could help at least a little to clarify this whole Kurozuma and Konori thing."
"What is there to say? People can just connect in mysterious ways sometimes." Shirai stated matter of factly as she set her drink down onto the table. "I think it's best with situations like these to be a silent observer."
"Ugh! This doesn't make any sense and it's bugging me!" Saten yelled aloud. "Guess it's time for a more direct approach and go ask Konori about it myself!"
"Well, good luck with that." Uiharu said from beside her, seeing some confusion come over the faces of her friends. "No one else has even seen Konori since yesterday. She didn't even show up at the branch when me and her were supposed run our routes around the district today."
"Not at all?" Misaka asked in surprise.
"No, she isn't even returning any of my calls." Uiharu responded with a shake of her head. "They keep going right to voicemail. It's really weird for her to just go missing during a case like this…"
"Fretting over it won't do any good. We're not going to get anything done by sitting here all day, so it's time for us to take this show on the road." Shirai said with determination in her eyes.
As Misaka and Uiharu looked over at her in surprise, some confusion fell on Saten's face.
"Hey wait, before we get to that, um where's Asher?" Saten asked aloud. "I thought that maybe she was showing up late or was going to meet us later, but she's nowhere to be seen, neither of you have said anything about her, and the most severe offense is that she hasn't returned any of the texts that I sent her this morning. So, what's up with that since you do live just a room down from her?"
"Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask about her as well. " Uiharu remarked. "I remember that she went with you two to help with the Big Spider investigation yesterday."
Uiharu was going to continue on before her and Saten were taking aback by the expressions she saw on the girl's faces in front of them, where a deafening silence filled the space around them.
"Yeah, she was…" Misaka stated solemnly as her eyes fell towards the table. "She did go with us to help…but…"
Misaka didn't go any further as she clenched her hands together and hid most of her expression under the shadows of her hair.
"What? Did something bad happen to her? Is she hurt?" Saten asked in alarm as concern grew on Uiharu's face along with hers.
"Yes, but she's mostly alright." Shirai answered as she automatically laid a hand on Misaka's shoulder.
"Although," Misaka mumbled as she brought her glassy chestnut eyes to look over at her worried friends.
"There's some things that you both should probably know about."
Word Count of Chapter: 12386 |Page Count: 21 pages |Reviews: 207 | Followers: 115 |Favorites: 99
The August section may have been brief, but CSG has finally gone into a new month. Only a little over two weeks away in-story for a certain Arc to begin.
It has been a while since I've done this, but you all probably still know the drill. Here's the update on the poll: "Sora" has pulled out by another vote to remain in first place, while "Sky" and "Rehsa" are still tied for 2nd and "Ame" remains in 3rd.
There's still time to vote, though if you want to remain neutral or have voted for a name, the results will be finalized some time during the Poltergeist Arc.
Thanks for reading!
Review Replies
Guest10032: Just gotta love a taste of some dramatic irony. After Misaka, Shokuhou is probably the 2nd person around Asher's age who has known her longer than the others in the Railgang and knows her inside and out due to the head scans. She has knowledge of some things that even Misaka doesn't know, like Sky's situation. And because of that, their overall relationship will be explored more in later chapters.
Here comes another load of mental turmoil with Misaka's and Asher's split from their silent "argument/fight" even though it can't really be considered to be either of those in the usual sense. I agree that esper powers are ran on both emotion and calculation. The personal reality probably decides which one has more priority over the other. The ideas with Asher's and Sky's dynamic can be sort of an example of this. Even though they have both, Asher is ran more on logic while Sky is ran more on emotions in comparison.
Don't worry, people aren't asking for a death arc. It's more along the lines of them finding some unintended deathflags from a few chapters ago when Misaka was sick. Asher being locked away in her head is a good idea. I'm fairly open to hearing any ideas you guys have, so I'll think on it.
I can't remember who specifically asked for Misaka x Uiharu and Shirai x Touma. They are fairly illogical to the extent that even someone like Tsuchimikado would question it. It's just up since I found it in someone's review. They were probably just throwing some out there. I can say that neither of them are likely to happen, though.
Ooh, Highschool. It'll be two years in May since I've graduated from one, and I still remember the struggle. I actually do remember seeing your new story posted around the time I posted the last chapter. I've been meaning to read it, though have been fairly busy to set enough time it deserves. I'm gonna to try to read it before the next chapter.
Thanks! And you're right, Asher x Sky wasn't on the list. At the time I'm writing this, I went ahead and added them to the Shipping bag.
Blankow: School got a little rocky there for a second but it's gotten a little better recently. I have only about 4-5 weeks left, so I'm almost at the finish line.
Shokuhou's and Sky's "fight" will be revisited later. As odd as it sounds, Shokuhou is probably the 2nd closest person to Asher around her age.
Love Friend/Judgment officer Kuroko. Perverse Kuroko is funny at times, but also needs to be monitored 24/7.
Seems Misaka's struggles during this version of Big Spider is a small preview of Sisters.' Asher is about as close to one of her sisters as she can get at this point.
A Saten Hug + An injured Asher + Bruised Ribs does not lead to a desirable result in Asher's mind even if she finds her hugs desirable. Asher has begun to open up a lot, though has sadly began to shutdown again. With Misaka not in the right headspace to help, wonder what person may take her place to help in this situation.
I would say that Zierdan is the worse patient considering she doesn't have a high liking to hospitals. She does all that she can to avoid going to them even when she needs to, which does drive Heaven Canceler crazy and leads to him lecturing her from time to time.
Huh, that's interesting, the Gojo and Asher color relation was unintended.
A Misaka, Asher, and Shokuhou team basically covers everything that's needed in some sort of fight/battle.
Me: Asks for Ship names.
Also me: Sees "Satan" as a ship name and wonders why I hadn't thought of that XD
I think my favorite from that list is Sasher. I'll probably have another poll of some sort to figure out ship names whenever Asher's pairing is decided.
Thanks for the goodluck! I'm trying my best to not overwork myself. I've found that writing the chapters for my stories is a great stress reliever.
Bornkiller9: Thank you! She'll get her Amps back soon enough.
Thanks for your reviews!
-PurpleClover99