Irene's A/N: Here's more of the camping trip. Let's see how the family will fare in the woods after the hot dog incident...Enjoy!
Chapter 42
Meredith tosses and turns on the hard ground. Her back is already starting to hurt, and it's only day one. At this rate, she doesn't know how she'll be up hiking or whatever Derek does in the wilderness. It's not like they'll be able to hike much, since there's no way a two and four-year-old will be able to hike far. Zola, maybe. Definitely not Bailey. They'll have to stick to low-impact activities. There's a nice beach not far from their campsite, so she figures they can spend their day swimming and fishing. She saw some boats they can rent, so maybe they'll take a fishing boat out. That sounds like something Derek will enjoy.
As the night aches on, boisterous noises from outside the tent taunt her, making it impossible to fall into a deep sleep. Everytime she thinks she's falling asleep, a loud noise erupts and returns her to full consciousness. Meanwhile, Derek is snoring beside her. Snoring! How the hell can he sleep through this?
At some point, Meredith drifts into a light sleep, because she's roused from it by the loudest ruckus she's ever woken from. Louder than any thunderstorm that's woken her. Typically she's the heavy sleeper and can sleep through anything. It's Derek who's the light sleeper. If this noise hasn't woken him, too, then she's not sure what to think anymore.
A light shines from Derek's direction, practically blinding Meredith. As her eyes adjust to the light, she sees Derek's holding a flashlight.
"Mommy?" Zola whimpers. "What's that noise?" She looks over and sees Derek looking at his phone. Bailey cries, holding firmly onto his big sister. Zola hugs him back.
"I forgot to lock the cooler."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Meredith groans.
"It means I think coons just raided our campsite," Derek reveals. "Rookie mistake or the mistake of someone who hasn't been camping in a while, like me." So it's my fault, Meredith thinks to herself, since she's the reason Derek hasn't been camping in recent years. Derek doesn't say that, but she feels it in her bones.
"You have to be kidding," Meredith sighs loudly, pushing her way out of the sleeping bag and crouching her way to the tent entrance. She unzips it, and grabs the flashlight from Derek's hand.
"What are you doing?" Derek asks. "You shouldn't go out there alone. Kids, stay in the tent." He instructs the kids firmly and follows Meredith into the wide-open outdoors. Meredith shines a light in the direction of the cooler and, sure enough, it's open and food is strung everywhere.
"Since when can raccoons get into coolers?"
"Since forever. They're smart beasts," Derek says. She flashes the light around the campsite, and something catches her eye. It's hanging from the tree: a half-eaten loaf of fresh bread. The very bread Derek had brought to make his stupid fruit pies.
"Well, darn it," Derek sighs.
Meredith sighs as she heads over to the cooler to see what hasn't been contaminated by racoons. Their water supply and the kids' juices are intact, as is the carton of eggs that is secure in a shatter-proof container. The remaining marshmallows have been ripped into.. The fruit, fortunately, looks untouched, as do the remaining hot dogs. Fruit, hot dogs, and eggs are their options. She packed some cereal and other snacks, just in case, that are in a bag in the tent. So they won't starve.
She feels so violated.
"Those raccoons are like Sunny and her kittens on crack," Meredith declares. Derek chuckles. "It's not funny!" she scolds, but Derek's smile doesn't fade. She relents, and smiles slightly. "Okay, maybe it is." She giggles. "What are the freaking odds? Our first camping trip, and freaking raccoons raid our campsite!"
Derek wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. "Only us, Mer. Okay, maybe not only us. I'm sure tons of people have been raided by the 'coons. That's why they're called the wildness' most clever thieves." Derek strokes her hair, comforting her. "Let's go back to bed; we can clean up this mess up in the morning."
"I don't want to attract more bugs to the campsite, so we should put the trash we see in the car, and lock the cooler in the car since it's cool out right now," Meredith says as she pulls away from Derek's arms. She realizes there's a brisk breeze, and she's cold outside of Derek's arms.
They clean up what they can. Meredith returns to the tent to find the children already asleep. At least their early morning guests didn't traumatize Zola and Bailey too much. They've experienced enough childhood trauma to last a lifetime. If any luck, they'll shake it off as just a bad dream.
Meredith lays back down and closes her eyes. She's either so exhausted, or it's finally quiet, because she drifts off to sleep before Derek enters the tent.
Derek lies on his back, listening to Meredith's snores that prevent him from falling back asleep. They don't seem to bother Zola and Bailey, who are already deep asleep. He watches his little family sleep, soaking in the moment.
Time passes, and he can tell it's getting lighter outside by the tint of the tent. He put the cover over the tent, so the light doesn't shine directly through. At least he remembered to do something right.
Bailey stirs first, then Zola. "Daddy?" Zola whispers. She's looking him straight in the eye.
"Yes, sweetie?"
"I stink," she says.
"What?"
"Real bad," she adds. It's true that camping brings a different odor to the body. He's always found it refreshing, because it reminds him of days in the wilderness with his dad as a child.
"'Tinky," Bailey says.
"When Mommy wakes up, we'll all take a shower," Derek whispers.
Zola nudges Meredith before he can stop her. "Mommy, wake up. We gots to shower. We stink!"
"Huh?" Meredith groggily opens her eyes. "What time is it?"
Derek looks at his phone. "It's a little after eight o'clock," he says.
"Hungy," Bailey whimpers.
"Me, too, Bails! But I needs a shower!" Zola exclaims. Derek stares at his daughter in awe, worrying camping won't be her forte, since hygiene is such a concern for her. Maybe she'll grow out of it, with any luck.
"I'll start the campfire if you want to get the kids started in the shower," Derek says.
"I hungy," Bailey whimpers again.
"I have some cereal over here," Meredith says. She fumbles for a little bag off to the side of her sleeping bag, unzipping it and revealing little baggies of snacks and cereal. "Fruit loops okay, Bails?"
He nods eagerly and takes the ziploc bag from his mother, popping the first circle into his mouth. Zola releases a frustrated moan.
"I'll get Zola started in the shower if you want to keep an eye on Bailey, then you guys can shower together," Meredith suggests.
"Okay, that sounds like a plan," Derek agrees. He unzips the tent to find it's a cool overcast day. A warm fire will be nice to sit around this morning. He hopes, with any luck, that the sun will burn off the clouds later in the day and they'll have a good outdoorsy day. He's looking forward to fishing with the kids and playing at the beach.
"Hey, Derek, is the Weather app loading on your phone? I don't have a signal," Meredith says.
"My phone's in the tent. Can you hand it to me?" He asks. She grabs it, and looks at the screen.
"You don't have a signal, either, it looks like."
He remembers that this spot usually doesn't have a cell signal. It's something he appreciated about it when he first moved to Seattle. A place to go to just be away from it all on the weekends he wasn't on call, where no one could bother him. Back when he left Addie and she was blowing up his phone, this was his place to go for tranquility.
"I hope it's not going to rain," Meredith sighs.
"It's just a little cloudy. I'm sure it'll be fine."
"We live in Seattle, Derek," Meredith reminds him, a sharp bitterness in her tone.
"Well, did you check the weather before you suggested we go camping this weekend?" Derek asks. Meredith bites her lip, looking almost offended by the question, but also embarrassed. Something tells him she didn't think about it.
"Come on, Zola!" Meredith says sharply. "Let's go to the showerhouse."
Bailey's still in the tent eating his cereal when Derek begins working on the fire. Derek zips him in, hoping he won't be able to unzip it. The kid can't zip his own pants yet, so he truly doubts it. Derek also takes the top off the tent, so Bailey can see him through the tent's windows.
After a short time, he hears Bailey whimpering in the tent. "Daddy?"
He has a small fire started, so Derek carries Bailey out of the tent, holding him firmly. "Let's go take a shower," he tells his son.
He grabs his shower bag and Bailey's diaper bag from the car.
"Mommy, I had a weird dream last night," Zola tells Meredith in the showerhouse.
"Did you, now?" Meredith suspects it's something to do with the raccoons.
"Sunny and the kittens were out camping with us! They were having lots of fun playing outside the tent. You and Daddy went to feed them 'cause they were so loud and hungry," Zola chatters, explaining a watered down version of what had happened with the raccoons. Meredith finds it funny that she, too, had compared the raccoon's ventures to the cats. Meanwhile, Zola had "dreamt" about the cats being there.
It's true she and Derek have given into Sunny and the kittens a few too many times in the middle of the night when they had meowed. Alex had been the one to suggest maybe they were hungry, though the internet said they should ignore the cats in the middle of the night or they'd never learn.
The last thing Meredith wants is for the cats to become like raccoons and start stealing food whenever they want it.
"That's a funny dream, Zozo," Meredith says with a smile on her face. They finish up their shower, and Meredith does Zola's hair. The restroom is tidier than Meredith had expected, considering they're in the wilderness. Someone has been cleaning it up, and it helps they're the only tent campers in the area. Everyone else has a camper or RV, which she assumes have their own bathroom and shower inside like Derek's little trailer that Owen and Amelia will live in until their house is built. When Derek told her that he apologized to Owen and had granted him permission to build his dream house on their land, Meredith had been proud of Derek. She's glad he's finally forgiving Owen.
She's not sure how she feels about having Derek's sister and Owen as permanent neighbors, but there's plenty of land to share, and she'd rather she know her neighbors than not. Besides, aside from the night they lost Eli, Owen and Amelia have been quiet neighbors. If Owen had had a house of his own …
She stops herself in her train of thought there. She can't go there. Not now. Dr. Wyatt says she needs to stop the "could have, would have, should have" scenarios. She needs to accept what is, and that's the only way she'll move forward.
Even though she and Zola had a head start at showering, Derek and Bailey are already back to the campsite when Zola and Bailey return. They have clean clothes on, and Bailey smells like baby powder when Meredith kisses his forehead. His scent is soon overpowered by the breakfast Derek is cooking.
By the time they finish breakfast and wash their dishes, it's already almost eleven o'clock. Meredith thinks it's crazy how much longer it takes to do the most basic tasks in the wilderness. The sky is still overcast, and the rush of wind makes her feel like it might start raining any moment. It's definitely too cool to swim.
"Let's take a walk on the beach and see if we can spot a good fishing spot," Derek suggests.
It's even chillier down by the beach; strong winds brush against their faces. They have light jackets, but Meredith worries about the kids catching colds. Especially if it starts raining.
"We can walk to the other side of the water," Derek insists. "It shouldn't be as windy over there, since the wind is going to the North. That looks like a good place to set up for fishing, too."
Derek's carrying Bailey, but after a short while, Zola says, "Daddy, my legs hurt."
"It's not that far, Zo, can you hold up a little longer?"
"No. I want to be carried." Derek sighs apologetically at Meredith. They both know Zola is too heavy for Meredith to carry a long distance. Derek hands Bailey over to Meredith and picks up Zola.
"Bailey, do you think you can walk a little bit?" Meredith asks her son. He nods timidly, and Mereidth sets him down. She holds onto his hand as his little legs stumble over the uneven terrain. He doesn't make it far before he's reaching up for Meredith to pick up him again, which she does. Her own legs are getting sore. She's not used to walking this far, and she wants to curse Derek for bringing them out here with such young children. Maybe they can try this again when the kids are a few years older, but it's clear that this is not a good activity for a four- and two-year-old.
They make it to the spot, and Meredith is quick to let down Bailey. He runs toward the water.
"Bailey! Stay away from the water," Meredith says, her heart racing. She read a story not too long ago about a little girl around Bailey's age who was out at the lake with her parents. The parents looked away for only a moment, and the toddler went into the water and drowned. She's regretting the decision to bring her kids out here even more.
Bailey looks back at her, batting his eyelashes like his father does when he's playing around. He runs back toward her, and she feels relief.
"Daddy, how do we fish?" Zola asks curiously.
"Well, let me teach you," Derek says.
"Derek, I think Bailey's too young to learn how to fish. I think we'll stay back and watch you and Zola," Meredith says.
Derek has fond memories of being around nine years old and going fishing with his dad and Amelia. Amelia was only Bailey's age. He doubts Amelia remembers those trips. He doesn't think Bailey is too young to learn how to fish. Amelia adored her little fishing pole. Derek had bought two kids' fishing poles sometime ago, not long after Bailey was born, looking forward to the days he could teach his kids to fish.
"Are you afraid a fish is going to pull him in? He'll be fine, Mer. We're both here," Derek says, regretting his decision to counter his wife immediately. He knows this is a fragile weekend for them both, and they came out here to escape the harsh reality of what this weekend means to them. Meredith bends over and clings to her living son, as if she's terrified to lose him. His heart aches for her. "Okay," he says. "You can stay back and watch."
Meredith sits on a hillside several feet back from the water, while he shows Zola the gist of fishing. She's eager, but that eagerness starts to fade when no fish come to bite.
"Why don't the fish want our food?" Zola asks.
"Sometimes they're just not hungry. Maybe they already ate a big meal," Derek says, frowning a bit.
"Or maybe they got smarts, like people fisheded here a lots, and they seed their friends get caughted...like Nemo!"
Derek laughs at his daughter's analogy. At the same time, a light sprinkle hits his head.
"Derek, I think it's starting to rain," Meredith says almost instantly.
"It's just sprinkling," Derek says. "I think we should move, maybe try another spot. This one's not biting."
Meredith sighs. "I think we should head back to the campsite, in case it starts raining more. We're quite a ways away, and it's a long way back. I don't want us to get stuck in a downpour."
Derek knows his wife has a point. Maybe they can go back to the tent and wait out the rain in the tent. He could tell the kids some of his favorite camping stories, and maybe teach them some of the songs his dad taught him.
"It is a long walk," Derek admits. "Should I get the car? I know Zola and Bailey had a hard time walking all the way here."
"That would be great, actually," Meredith says. "I'll stay here with the kids." There's a little road that comes up right behind where they are. They could have driven to this spot, but Derek wanted to show Meredith and the kids one of his favorite trails.
"Okay, I'll be back soon." After he packs up his fishing gear, Derek kisses Meredith and the kids on their foreheads, and starts walking back to the tent and car.
Meredith offers the kids some snacks while they wait. Zola eats a granola bar, and Bailey grabs the fruit snacks. Meredith helps herself to some organic animal cookies from Whole Foods. They're her favorite. They might be one snack she bought for herself instead of the kids. Even though they're "organic", she's not sure how healthy they are. Derek claims there's still tons of sugar in them.
The rain picks up, and Meredith huddles with the kids under a tree. The temperature is getting lower too. Come on, Derek. Hurry up, she thinks to herself, listening to Zola chatter about how camping is boring, and she wants to go home and play with the kitties.
She doesn't tell her daughter that she agrees with her.
"Daddy loves camping, though," Meredith says. "We have to make Daddy happy. We have to compromise, Zola, remember?"
"I hate compromomising!" Zola cries. "I wanna be happy too!"
Meredith's heart crushes. At this rate, Zola is going to have the same relationship issues as her mother.
Dr. Wyatt says she spends so much time trying to make others happy, that she forgets about her own happiness. At least her daughter hasn't developed this. Yet. Maybe she'll be okay. Or maybe she'll be so selfish she ends up alone.
Meredith's head spins with possible outcomes, imagining an adult Zola who's too focused on her career and her own happiness to have a relationship. She doesn't want that for Zola, either. Not there is anything wrong with career-orientated women, but she doesn't want Zola to be alone simply because she can't compromise.
"I want you to be happy, too," Meredith assures her daughter.
"Then tell Daddy I wanna go home," Zola whines.
"Why don't you tell him, Lovebug?" Meredith asks just as the car pulls up with Derek behind the driver's seat. At the same time, they hear a loud Boom! Thunder. Soon after, a flash of light appears in the sky.
Derek pulls up to them as close as he can, and Meredith runs over to the car with a kid on each hip. Her husband hops out of the car and takes Zola. They quickly fasten the kids into their carseats, and take their seats. Derek drives back toward the campsite.
"It's thundering and lighting, Derek. I think we should call it a day," Meredith insists.
"Yeah, Daddy. I wanna go home. I'm scared," Zola whimpers. Bailey is also fussing beside her. "I bet Sunny and Lexie are scared, too!"
Meredith looks at the car clock. It's already four o'clock in the evening. Where had all the time gone?
"I'm still hungwy," Zola states. "Can I have another snack?"
Derek sighs. Meredith senses him relenting. "Let's head home. We can stop and grab some hot food on the way."
"What about the tent?" Meredith asks.
"I don't want to pack it up when it's soaked. I'll come back tomorrow when it's dry. We paid through the weekend anyway," Derek says. "Now, what should we eat?"
They stop at Wendy's. Bailey soiled his training pants. It's his first accident in weeks. Meanwhile, Zola barely makes it to the ladies' room.
"I sorry," Bailey apologizes. "No potty."
"I know, sweetie. There was no potty in the wilderness," Meredith comforts her son. Derek watches as Meredith coddles the boy, thinking that if he'd said something, Derek may have taught him how to go outdoors.
Oh, who was he kidding? Bailey was too young. Zola too. Maybe in a few years they can try camping again. And they'll check the weather before they head out.
Derek orders a salad. Meredith gets chili. The kids both get chicken nuggets. They eat their food inside, because they have a rule about not eating food in the car. The rain pours harder outside, and Derek worries his tent may be demolished. It's an oldie, he should buy a new one if they try this again.
If. Maybe it's better they don't. Derek's heart breaks a little.
After the food is gone, he and Meredith load up the kids and head back to the house. The sky is dark and dreary, much like how Derek's soul feels.
At the house, there's a car in the driveway.
"I bet Dr. Wyatt is here taking care of the cats," Meredith says.
"You should have called her and told her she didn't have to," Derek replies.
Meredith clenches her fists and flashes him a look filled with daggers. She doesn't say anything.
The kids are asleep. Camping took a lot out of them, and with full bellies, they're passed out. Meredith takes Bailey and Derek takes Zola. The house is unlocked, and Dr. Wyatt is in the kitchen filling the cats' water.
"Oh, you're home." She smiles when she sees them walk through the door. "I didn't know where you went camping. I was praying it was somewhere not hit by the rainstorm."
"Unfortunately, we weren't far from here," Derek says.
"Well, in that case, I'm sorry your trip got rained on," Dr. Wyatt says.
They take the kids to their bedrooms, and Dr. Wyatt is still in the living room, playing with Sunny Wyatt and Lexie. "So, this is Sunny Wyatt?" she asks, petting the momma kitty. Sunny purrs, butting her head against the woman who shares her last name.
"Yeah," Meredith says, watching Derek head toward the front door. "Where are you going?"
"Car," Derek says. "I wanted to bring the diaper bag in and some other things."
"Can't it wait until morning? It's pouring outside," Meredith argues.
"It's just a little rain. A little water killed no one. I've been wet in the rain many times." Derek laughs.
Meredith's blood boils. "Right. You've done it all, haven't you, Derek?"
"Excuse me?" Derek acts confused.
"Nevermind. Honestly, Derek, you'll never get it. You're such an egomaniacal moron," Meredith spats, and she storms out the door into the raging rainstorm.
Derek stares mindlessly at the door after Meredith has just stormed out, just moments about voicing her concerns about the storm. You'll never get it, reverberates in his head. Get what? What is he supposed to get? What is he missing? It seems, with her, he's always missing something. No matter how hard he tries to understand her, he always falls short.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Dr. Wyatt interrupts his train of thought. He had forgotten she was still there. Now, he's embarrassed.
"Huh?" He looks up at his therapist, who's now seeing firsthand what it's like between them. He's not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
"Go after her," Dr. Wyatt urges. "I'll stay here in case the kids wake up, but you need to go talk to your wife."
He knows the therapist is right, although talking to Meredith in her current state of mind never seems to end well. He remembers when he used to chase her, then he stopped. Tonight, he'll try chasing her again, even though he's afraid of the end result.
Derek runs out into the rain. Heavy rain droplets pound on his head. A loud thunder roars in the distance, and moments later a flash lights up the sky. He feels like he's in a horror movie. He sees Meredith standing by the car. She's standing in the midst of the storm, letting the rain soak her.
"Meredith, what are you doing?" he calls and runs over to her.
"What? It's just a little rain! That's what you said!" she screams.
"You shouldn't stand out and let yourself get soaked. You could get sick!"
"Oh, boo hoo. I should do this, I should do that, I should blah blah blah!" she shouts at the top of her lungs. "What about you, Derek? You had one freaking job this weekend, and you failed. I suggested we go camping because it's what you like. You were supposed to get all the camping gear together, and what happens? You forget bug spray, you forget to lock up our cooler and allow raccoons to steal our food, and! And! You forget freaking umbrellas and raincoats. What the hell, Derek? Did you want to make the kids' and my first camping experience Hell?"
His heart breaks. Of course he never wanted his family's first camping trip to be Hell. He's always dreamt about taking his family camping. Even when he was a little boy, years before he even had a girlfriend, he dreamt about camping with his wife and kids. Addison hated the wilderness. Then Meredith showed no interest in it. He had begun to accept camping would be just a childhood memory, one of his favorite memories with his dad.
"Of course not, Meredith." He says her name tenderly as he approaches her. "I never wanted that. You have no idea. And I'm sorry our first camping trip wasn't perfect like I imagined it would be." He doesn't want to make excuses now. He could say that the suddenness of the trip threw him off course, or that the weekend itself had his mind in a bend.
It's hard to tell with the rain splashing on her face, but she's crying. Her eyes are rimmed red. He wants to reach out and hold her forever, and promise to make it up to her.
"It's not fair," Meredith says. "I wanted this weekend to be perfect. A distraction. And now it's ruined, and everything sucks."
"Oh, Mer," he says. "I know, and I'm sorry." He feels like such a failure. Then something unexpected happens. She throws her body at him and kisses him.
"Mmmm, Mer?" he hums.
"Shut up and kiss me," she murmurs. He does as he's told. Her lips are wet and taste like rain, but she hasn't kissed him like this in months. He feels a throb from below like he hasn't in ages. His heart quickens and his breath shortens. He pushes her against the car and lowers his kisses to her neck, and she releases a soft moan.
He opens the passenger seat to the car and guides her inside. Before he knows it, he's on top of her.
Meredith feels a rush of emotions as Derek thrusts into her. His thrusts are gentle and tender, filled with compassion. Her heart feels like it could explode with love for him.
"I love you," she moans as she approaches her climax.
"I love you, too," Derek whispers in her ear.
They climax together, in sync. Perfection.
"Fuck," she moans after he pulls out.
"What?"
"We forgot the raincoat!" she exclaims. "I'm not on any birth control."
"I can get Plan B."
Meredith pulls up her soaked jeans, feeling slightly nauseous at the thought of taking an emergency contreceptive like some stupid teenager who fucked her boyfriend in her mom's car.
"I'll get it right now," Derek says hurriedly.
"Okay. I'm going to check on the kids," Meredith says, opening the door and flashing one more look at Derek's blue eyes. She can tell they're filled with concern. She leans over and kisses his cheek.
Stepping out of the car, she notices the rain has lightened.
As soon as she enters the house, she starts sneezing repeatedly. Sunny and Lexie are lounging on the couch being lavished with cuddles from Dr. Wyatt.
"Meredith, are you okay?" Dr. Wyatt asks when she sees her. Fortunately, Meredith feels dryer than before. "Where's Derek?"
"He's fine. The rain is lighter now, so he went back to the campsite to get the things we left," she fibs, though she realizes Derek should probably be doing that.
"Oh, okay."
"Thank you for looking out for the kids and the cats," Meredith says. "You can go now, if you want."
Dr. Wyatt nods, reluctantly moving Sunny off her lap. She kisses the cat's forehead. "Now, you be good kitties for Meredith."
Meredith wouldn't dare kiss the cats; she's afraid she would die from sneezing.
After Dr. Wyatt leaves, she showers and changes her clothes.
When she's done, Derek is back. He hands her the Plan B. Her eyes fill up immediately.
"Oh, Mer," Derek says. "You know your body can't handle another pregnancy, and I can't lose you. Zola and Bailey can't lose you."
"It's not that, Derek," she whispers. "That's not why I'm crying … it's because today we're supposed to be holding our little Eli. It's his due date. We should have been bringing him home this weekend, not camping."
Derek whispers, "I know," and he embraces his wife so they can comfort each other. "It's all I've been thinking about."
"You didn't say anything," she says. "I thought you forgot."
"I'll never forget this date, Meredith."
September 21st will never be the same. They should be celebrating this date, but now it just brings heartache. A day that once meant nothing at all, then a ray of hope, now signifies loss and grief.
So much can change in a year's time.
Nicole's A/N: Just one chapter left in this installment! Thank you for sticking with us.