A/N: This song has a lot of music references in it given the setting. The ones you should be familiar with beforehand are the first verse and chorus of "The Emperor's New Clothes" by Panic! at the Disco and the second verse, chorus, and final verse of "ME!" by Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie.
Maleficent summoned all of the Overtakers into the Audience Chamber of the Eminence Palace. With the destruction of Radiant Garden and Villain's Vale and the lack of leads towards the third and final Gem of Cronus, Maleficent knew that morale amongst her team was low. They would need their leader to provide perspective and strength. After all, she-
"You two fools sent me to Hell!" Amora shrieked at Loki and Blackheart.
"If it's any consolation, Loki stiffed me my payment for that job," Blackheart said. "So, really, he's the ultimate bastard here."
"I cannot and will not be held accountable for your lack of attention to detail," Loki declared. "Any other accusations are unsubstantiated."
"You rigged an entire contest against me," Grimhilde interjected. "Far be it for me to side with a hideous cow like the Enchantress, but-"
"Hideous cow? How dare you, you old hag!" Amora retorted.
"Now, now, ladies, please," Ardyn said, trying to get between them. "Is it not enough that you are both fair of face?"
"Stay out of this, you fool!" Grimhilde sneered. "I am owed recompense!"
"All has been resolved and yet you continue to act as pouty children," Doom growled. "Drop the matter at once!"
"As if you have any room to judge," Cruella jumped in, coming to Grimhilde's defense.
"Hmph, at the very least something productive came out of the Orlesian excursion," Kingpin remarked. "Meanwhile, this insane galoot of a vampire ruined my long term project!"
Russell scoffed. "I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but you're too fat for your cock to reach your own ass."
"And besides, Fisk, it was my long term project," Steve said. "I was the one who brought you in, so back the fuck off."
"Oh, was it yours to begin with?" Ursula asked. "I seem to recall it being my plan from day one."
"That you then proceeded to cut us out of," Fish added. "And then you turned around and started colluding with the man who shot me!"
"Well if your girlfriend hadn't blasted me with her trident, maybe you wouldn't have been shot!" Steve replied. "I did what I had to do!"
"Which is why you killed Daken, was it?" Loki asked.
"Don't you already have like twelve people pissed off at you?" Russell asked.
"Servant! Explain to me what all of this is about!" Audrey said, turning to Kieran for answers.
"For the last time, I'm not your servant, and I never was," Kieran replied as he drew his knife. "And now that I don't have to pretend not to hate you, you'd better watch yourself."
"You DARE speak that way to your QUEEN?" Audrey gasped.
"Yeah, I do," Kieran replied. "Try me, trash."
"Give up lad, you'll never win against slags," Hook remarked. "They're only silent when you fill their mouths with-"
"Now don't you start with that sexist bullshit, Hook," Fish interrupted.
"Well, well, the little woman has teeth," Jafar remarked. "But heed my warning: do not speak in such a manner to my love or you will surely lose your own!"
"I thought those of you here would have learned this lesson by now," Cora said. "Love is weakness!"
"This new woman whose name I do not know speaks wisdom," Winnie remarked. "Love is nothing but trouble!"
"You only say that 'cuz you hurt ev'rybody you get close to!" Pete said.
"I'LL TURN YOU INTO A SNAIL!" Winnie shouted. "Thou hast deceived my sister, but thou shalt not go unpunished."
"Sister! Pete! Please, enough of this mindless and most unproductive anger," Mary said. "Perhaps we should form a calming circle."
"I AM CALM!" Winnie and Pete yelled together in unison.
"Crickets taste better than grasshoppers!" Sarah shouted to no one in particular.
"SILENCE, YOU FOOLS!" Maleficent's voice bellowed and thunder clapped.
A hush fell over the crowd, and the Overtakers ceased their squabbling to pay attention to Maleficent. Hades looked smugly upon the crowd given that he was the only one present who hadn't involved himself in the pandemonium.
"I brought together a team of powerful world conquerors," Maleficent said, "not an assembly of school children. Your behavior is appalling! Where is the team with whom I saw fit to share ultimate power?"
Maleficent glared at the sheepish looking crowd. No one had any interest in speaking against her.
"If there is one thing I will not tolerate, it is in-fighting," Maleficent said. "You are all Overtakers. You are all a team. Think you that the rest of the worlds would embrace you alone? We've all walked solo paths to no avail. Yet together can we gain the power we so desire. It is the only way! So put aside your petty squabbles. What will they truly accomplish? What worth does such bitterness hold? Do you think it will be productive? Well it will not. You will co-exist and collaborate as allies and a team, or you will not reap the benefits of our conquest!"
Maleficent dared anyone to challenge her command, yet no one did. As much as it may have pained them to admit it, they knew she was right. Maleficent smirked to herself.
"However, I realize that I am not blameless," Maleficent admitted. "In my eagerness to obtain the Gems of Cronus, I have set you all on constant endeavors to meet our goals and kept knowledge of our movements limited to only those who needed to know them. I've acted rashly and lost sight of the most important task ahead: maintaining the bonds of our faction. Jafar?"
"Yes?" Jafar asked cautiously.
"Is your House of Villains operational?" Maleficent inquired.
"It is indeed, my dear," Jafar answered.
"Excellent!" Maleficent declared. "For this evening, we shall rectify these broken bonds. All shall attend a great celebration at the House of Villains! There will be merriment aplenty! And if there is not?"
A clap of thunder punctuated the intensity of Maleficent's words.
"My wrath will be severe!"
"That was a disaster!" Kingpin bemoaned to Steve as they proceeded down the castle corridors. "You promised me control of Radiant Garden, and now I have NOTHING!"
"Relax, Fisk, you've still got your life and a place among the Overtakers," Steve replied. "That's more than Daken or Imperious can say. Did you and Smythe do what I told you to do?"
"The better question is why I should continue to take orders from you," Kingpin said. "You've only had bad ideas one after another, and the lack of control you have over your paramour ruined everything."
"You wanna strike out on your own? Be my guest," Steve said. "But I think you know that your safest route to power is through me. So, I repeat, did you and Smythe get them."
Kingpin glared at Steve for a moment, trying to determine whether or not this truly was an alliance worth maintaining.
"Yes, we did," Kingpin finally answered after a moment.
Kingpin opened the door to Smythe's lab and escorted Steve inside. Smythe was hard at work, bent over a computer terminal with designs and equations.
"How are our patients?" Steve asked.
"They are stable," Smythe answered. "Or... at least four of them are."
Floating unconscious in suspended animation around the laboratory were Electro, Vulture, Scorpion, and Rhino, all still alive.
"I was able to synthesize a serum from your vampiric blood sample to heal and restore the Sinister Six," Smythe explained. "Scorpion and Rhino's armor and Electro and Vulture's energy transfer abilities kept them in usable condition long enough for me to administer the serum. Medusa and McLeach were not so fortunate."
"Four out of six ain't bad," Steve nodded in approval.
"And when they awake, they shall serve the Kingpin!" Kingpin declared. "They shall be my new Insidious Six."
"There's still the mathematical conundrum of only having four," Smythe pointed out.
"Maybe you two can pull your own weight and fill those last two spots," Steve suggested.
"I'm more useful operating in a support capacity," Smythe insisted.
"And the Kingpin does not sully his own hands; the Kingpin delegates," Kingpin declared. "Besides, with infinite worlds at our disposal, I have no doubt that we'll find suitable replacement members."
"Something to worry about for another time," Steve said, looking at his watch. "We have a mandatory party to get to... unless you want Maleficent to fry our bacon."
"I'm certain I will not be missed, nor will my absence even be noticed," Smythe remarked. "I doubt I'm even considered an Overtaker at all. I have a great deal of work to do to get the Insidious Four up on their feet again."
"They will be six again!" Kingpin declared. "Mark my words, they will once again be six!"
The ballroom of the House of Villains had been cleared of all tables aside from the ones on the outer perimeter, allowing for plenty of room to mingle and dance. The magenta lights and ever-present fog gave the entire club a vibe that the Overtakers all had to admit they found appealing. Up on stage-right, a skeletal faced ghoul with spiky blue hair and a shirt with a skull emblem on the chest stood behind a large turntable, rocking out to the heavy-metal remix of "Don't Stop Believing" that he was playing throughout the club. DJ Deadbeat was, in Hades's own words, the afterlife of the party, and so he was brought in to host the musical entertainment of the evening.
"Baddies and villains!" DJ Deadbeat called out. "Mischief makers and fiends of all ages, it is time to kick this party into hot high-gear! Let me hear ya say CHAOS!"
"CHAOS!" the crowd echoed (or, at least, the members of the crowd amenable to such a response).
"Let me hear ya say MAYHEM!" DJ Deadbeat yelled.
"MAYHEM!" they repeated.
"Aww yeah!" DJ Deadbeat said, head-banging to the music. "Are you ready to fire it up?"
"FUCK YEAH!" Kieran screamed, obviously getting way too into it.
Grimhilde, who was standing next to Kieran, scowled at him. "That was almost as painful sounding as Snow White's singing voice. You'll be getting an apple soon."
"And now, straight outta the Haunted Mansion," DJ Deadbeat announced, "let's turn it up for THE HITCHHIKING STRANGERS!"
The Overtakers applauded as a trio of phantoms manifested on the stage, each one with their thumb extended as if hitchhiking for a ride. The first appeared to be a wealthy traveler sporting a top hat, the second was a skeleton wearing a bowler hat, and the third was a bearded prisoner with a ball and chain around his ankle. Back at the mansion, they were known as Phineas, Ezra, and Gus, respectively. DJ Deadbeat started to play the intro of a rock song over the loud speakers.
"Finders keepers, losers weepers!" Phineas and Gus sang.
"Welcome to the end of eras," Ezra began to sing. "Ice is melted back to life. Done my time and served my sentence. Dress me up and watch me die!"
To punctuate his lyric, Ezra rolled his ghostly head right off his shoulders.
"If it feels good, tastes good," Phineas and Gus sang as they flew over the refreshments table.
"It must be mine!" Ezra sang as his head floated around above the stage. "Dynasty decapitated."
Ezra's head found its way back to his body.
"You just might see a ghost tonight!" the trio sang in unison as they all gathered on stage.
"And if you don't know now you know," Phineas and Gus practically whispered.
"I'm taking back the CROWN!" Ezra belted out. "I'm all dressed up and naked! I see what's mine, I take it!"
"Finders keepers, losers weepers!" Phineas and Gus repeated.
"Oh OH yeahhhh, the CROWN!" Ezra continued as he flew over to Grimhilde and began to pet her crown, only to be quickly shooed off. "So close I can taste it! I see what's mine, I take it!"
"Finders keepers, losers weepers!" Phineas and Gus repeated.
"Oh OH yeahhhh," Ezra belted.
The crowd applauded the phantoms as they copleted their song. The Hitchhiking Ghosts took their bows as DJ Deadbeat hyped them up one final time. A pair of purple panties were thrown onto the stage and passed directly through Ezra. Sarah Sanderson blew the ghosts a kiss and fired them a seductive wink.
"Taking back the crown?" Russell grumbled to Steve. "With lyrics like those, I'm havin' flashbacks to Eric Northman."
"Sounds kinda like a fanfic title to me," Steve suggested.
"I would most assuredly read it!" Loki chimed in.
DJ Deadbeat put on a remix of "Super Freak" that immediately prompted Cruella De Vil and Fish Mooney to rush out onto the dance floor. Ursula, upon seeing her girlfriend out there dancing, couldn't resist joining in on the fun. Grimhilde, on the other hand, hung back and crossed her arms as she observed. In truth, Cruella did look like she was having fun, but Grimhilde was a queen and thus had to maintain an image of refinement.
"This form of celebration is still quite new to me," Cora admitted as she lurked next to Grimhilde. "I remember when dancing meant a fine waltz and troubadours. Then again, perhaps I'm simply old-fashioned."
"It is still strange to me as well," Grimhilde admitted. "Though I have begun to see the appeal in it. I suppose mingling with these peasants has started to effect my tastes. Forgive me, I don't believe we've been properly introduced."
"My apologies," Cora said. "My name is Cora. In my kingdom, Wonderland, I'm known as the Queen of Hearts."
"A fellow queen? How intriguing," Grimhilde remarked. "I am Queen Grimhilde, though I am known far and wide as the Evil Queen."
A look of intrigue flashed in Cora's eyes at that moniker. "If you'll pardon me for saying so, you remind me so much of my daughter."
"Am I right in assuming that she is also a startling beauty?" Grimhilde asked.
"Of course," Cora nodded, "but we shall not compare to the incomparable."
"Quite wise," Grimhilde nodded.
Cora grinned to herself, having never specified which was the incomparable beauty. Grimhilde was certainly fair of face, but a mother would always be biased towards her own daughter. Cora knew quite well about the existence of other storybooks throughout the worlds, and the more time she spent with Grimhilde, the more she became convinced that the queen was an alternate version of her daughter, Regina.
"So, forgive me for bringing up such an unpleasant name, but am I correct in assuming that you know a woman by the name of Snow White?" Cora asked.
Grimhilde scowled. "Why do you dare breathe that name?"
"Because she, or rather the version of her on my world, is the woman who murdered me," Cora answered. "She poisoned my heart and manipulated my daughter into putting it back into my chest."
"That little shrew causes pain and misery wherever she goes," Grimhilde remarked. "I am not surprised. You say there's a version of her that exists on your world? Then there must be others. We shall have to rid the universe of all Snow Whites!"
Cora smiled broadly. "I would like that very much."
"Super Freak" ended, and Cruella, panting from dancing so hard, made her way over to one of the booths only to practically melt into it. Amora the Enchantress was already occupying said booth and had just conjured herself a fresh glass of wine. Cruella snatched up the drink and chugged it right away.
"Thank you, darling, I was parched," Cruella said. "Dancing is thirsty work."
"That was not for you," Amora grumbled as she summoned herself up a replacement drink. "Besides, you are not welcome here! You're the lover of that fool queen who believes herself more fair."
"Technically she did win the competition," Cruella pointed out.
"That contest was a sham!" Amora hissed.
"Indeed, t'was a most egregious scam!" Sarah Sanderson said as she slid into the booth and stole Amora's replacement drink.
"And when, exactly, did I become a magnet for obnoxious harlots?" Amora asked.
"Since you started supplying the alcohol," Cruella pointed out. "Besides, according to Maleficent, this whole party shenanigan is to build team morale. You'll have to learn to like us."
Amora groaned. "How fortuitous for me."
"Oh, come now, it's painfully obvious that all three of us have an eye for glitz and glamour!" Cruella remarked. "We're three of the most gorgeous women in the Overtakers!"
Sarah, meanwhile, had spilled wine on her chest and was attempting to crane her neck to lick it off.
"Is that what you call it?" Amora asked with a smirk.
"Well... we do have the best hair in the Overtakers," Cruella pointed out. "We're a natural trio."
Amora sighed but relented. "Fine. You both may sit in my presence."
"Perhaps on Woden's Day our coven shouldst color coordinate in pink!" Sarah suggested.
"Please stop talking," Amora ordered.
The DJ mix switched over to "Holding Out for a Hero," which immediately garnered boos from the crowd of villains. DJ Deadbeat quickly changed the song over to "Disco Inferno." The crowd started to circle around Hades and Jafar, who were dancing to the music and providing competing pyrotechnics to the beat of the song. Fish ducked out of the crowd and pulled Kieran off to the side with her.
"Last thing either of us needs is a face full of fire," Fish remarked.
"Right," Kieran nodded. "How'd everything with Radiant Garden go for you?"
"Oh let's not talk about that," Fish said. "I'm far more interested in your mission with Maleficent. She told me you were absolutely wonderful."
"I managed to avoid stabbing that bitch in the face," Kieran said. "That's gotta count for something."
"It does indeed," Fish said with a grin. "It's just like I told you: restraint and focus is important in cultivating a higher form of villainy. Action with purpose at all times. Don't just kill without direction."
Kieran's expression darkened. "Like Blackheart's about to do?"
"Huh?" Fish asked as she turned around. And then she saw it. "Oh shit."
"Excuse me, peasant," Audrey said, addressing Blackheart. "Go get your queen a refill on her drink!"
Blackheart snickered. "Go fuck yourself."
"You dare speak that way to your QUEEN?" Audrey shrieked. "I order you to refill my-"
Blackheart grabbed Audrey's neck and forced her to the ground before she could finish that command.
"You think you're powerful enough to talk that way to me?" Blackheart asked. "You're pathetic! Now listen up, because I'm only going to be this nice once. You are a child playing with the big dogs. You don't give the orders around here, and you should never ever think it's okay to do so. If you talk to me that way again, I will grab ahold of you by your pretty little ankles, and I will pull them in two different directions until you rip right in half. Understand?"
Audrey nodded quickly, too afraid to speak.
"Good girl," Blackheart said, releasing his hold on her neck.
Audrey immediately jumped to her feet and ran out of the room. Blackheart returned to dancing as if nothing had even happened. Kieran's expression of elation at the sight morphed into one of disappointment.
"He didn't finish her off?" Kieran asked with a groan.
"Maleficent needs that girl alive," Fish explained. "Now, excuse me, I'm going to go make sure she's okay."
"Mom, come on, that bitch got what was coming to her," Kieran argued. "Just leave her alone, and we can get back to the party."
"We have to look after our own, Kieran," Fish said. "Let that be my next lesson to you: value and nurture your alliances."
Fish briskly followed Audrey out of the ballroom and into the women's restroom. The princess had locked herself in one of the stalls, and from the sounds echoing around the room, it was obvious that she was crying. Fish gave a knock at the stall door.
"Audrey? You alright in there?" Fish asked. "My name is Fish Mooney. I'm one of Maleficent's lieutenants, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Why don't you come out, and we can talk?"
The stall door opened, and Audrey emerged, her mascara streaking across her face.
"My makeup is ruined!" Audrey said between sniffles.
"We'll clean it up and do a smoky eye," Fish said. "You'll look gorgeous. Come here, let me help you."
Fish opened her purse and took out her makeup bag. She then went to work wiping away Audrey's smeared makeup and reapplying highlighter and mascara in the places where it had smeared.
"I don't think I'm cut out for this villain thing," Audrey admitted. "Every time I try to act evil, it blows up in my face. I'm just not built to be intimidating."
"No one's good at it at first," Fish said as she lined Audrey's eyes. "Intimidation, like anything else, is something – hold still please – something you have to practice and work at. You have to learn how to wield your natural confidence, and, just as importantly, when to wield it. Blink twice for me... atta girl, that'll do. Being a villain isn't just about strong arming everyone you meet. It's about knowing who to destroy and when you can destroy them. You'll get the hang of it if you stick with us."
"It's looking a lot less likely that I'll survive that long," Audrey bemoaned.
Fish reached into her bag and took out her eye-shadow palette. "I think you need some eye-shadow to complete the look. This shade of magenta looks like it'll match your hair. Lovely shade by the way."
"Thank you," Audrey said. "That demon and your son already hate me and want me dead, and they'll kill me if they have their way with it."
"Well, lucky for you, Maleficent wants you alive," Fish said as she applied the eye-shadow. "And you can turn things around with Kieran and Blackheart. You just have to learn to respect them. They're your fellow Overtakers, and that means they're family now. You've got to count on family. Close your eyes for me. Beautiful. Damn I'm good. But most of all, relax. You're young, and we'll show you how to become the most powerful and villainous version of yourself. By that point, this little snafu will be a distant memory."
"Thank you, Ms. Mooney," Audrey said with an earnest smile.
"Please, call me Fish," she replied. "All my friends do."
The DJ song changed over to "Get the Party Started" as Pete and Mary Sanderson made their way over to the buffet table. Claude the Cauldron Born gave them a coy wave and gestured towards the food spread dramatically. As Pete sized up the table, trying to decide which dish to sample first, Mary shimmied to the beat of the music.
"Iiiii'm comin' up so you better get this party started!" Mary sang to herself. "Behold, Pete! T'is a spread of most wonderous foods the likes of which I've seen only in my wildest imaginations! Is this what it feels like to be royalty?"
"Somethin' like that, ehehehe," Pete declared as he started to pile one of everything onto his plate. "We're eatin' real good tonight. Ohhhh, this steak looks like a premium cut. Maleficent must'a really sprung for the high end stuff!"
Mary skewered a cocktail weenie on a toothpick. "And she hast even laid out a fine spread of freshly severed fingers for the culinary pleasure of all in attendance."
Mary quickly scarfed it down and loaded several more onto her plate. Pete didn't have the heart to tell her that they weren't actually severed fingers being served.
"Here, try the turkey leg!" Pete said, offering one to Mary. "It's got this delectable-like sauce on it!"
"Mmm, how tasty!" Mary declared as she sunk her teeth into it.
"Must you two behave as ravenous animals?" Kingpin said with a sigh as he approached the table. "It's bad enough that everyone assumes that all of us built with ample proportions are gluttonous slobs without you two reinforcing the stereotypes."
"Gluttonous slobs?" Mary asked.
"Hey now, just 'cuz you've got fat-shamin' issues don't mean that we're the ones with the problem, see?" Pete replied. "I ain't gonna be talked outta fillin' my belly just because somebody wants to tease me behind my back."
"T'is a most brave and admirable point of view, Pete," Mary nodded. "Perhaps our self-loathing friend couldst learn from thee?"
Kingpin shook his head. "Perhaps the ignorant among us are truly the blissful."
"Dat's right, and proud of it!" Pete nodded as he returned to stock-piling food.
While not strictly a Halloween party, for the Overtakers, Halloween was practically a year-round occurrence, and so a large cauldron was set up for bobbing for apples. Ardyn and Winnie watched as Russell dunked his head into the vat of water and came back up with two shiny red apples pierced on the tips of his fangs.
Winnie huffed when she saw this. "That is cheating!"
"Witch, please!" Russell replied as he pulled the apples off of his teeth. "Don't be a whiner. It's such a bore. Besides, with those buck-teeth, you've probably got an advantage on the rest of us."
"Is this game not a bit unwise given the present company?" Ardyn asked as he glanced over at Queen Grimhilde. "After all, you know what they say about how one poison apple spoils the whole cauldron."
"I'm a vampire, so I can't actually eat human food or be affected by the poison," Russell said as he tossed the apples to Ardyn and Winnie. "Y'all can take your chances, though, by all means."
"How comforting," Winnie groaned as she threw the apple back into the cauldron with a splash.
"Indeed," Ardyn said as he examined his apple closely. "By the by, Winnie, have you seen Davy Jones since you returned from Hell? I'd been meaning to speak with him about something."
"Uhhhhhhh," Winnie replied, "hast thou tried the turkey leg? T'is most delicious! ... Over there!"
Winnie quickly dashed away from the conversation and ran towards the buffet table.
"What do you suppose that was all about?" Ardyn asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" Russell asked. "She murdered him while they were in Hell."
"Oh dear, how unfortunate," Ardyn said with very little concern in his voice.
At that moment, the song changed. Russell gasped loudly when he heard "Teenage Dream" start to play, startling Ardyn.
"It's OUR SONG!" Russell shouted. "STEVE!"
Russell sprinted out onto the dance floor to find his boyfriend. Steve apparently had the same idea as the two vampires met in the middle and began to spin one another around, knocking several of Maleficent's goons out of the way.
"We're a few dead frat boys short of recreating the moment," Steve joked.
"Well the night's not over yet, is it?" Russell asked with a playful grin.
"I've missed this," Steve said earnestly. "It feels like we've been missin' out for a while."
"Well then we've gotta make up for lost time," Russell said. "Because, if I may be so bold, your ass looks fantastic in those pants."
Steve grinned. "That's why I wore them."
The two vampires whirled and twirled across the dance floor, lip syncing to the song all the way between giggles at one another's actions. Ardyn watched them from afar with a coy grin.
"Oh to be the apple of one's eye," Ardyn mused as he took a bite of the apple. Non-poisonous, just the way he liked it.
Loki and Hook clanked their glasses of champagne together and drank them quickly. He and Hook had been drinking all evening, and while Loki's Asgardian physiology kept him from getting very tipsy, Hook was not so fortunate and was already quite drunk. Fittingly, the next song on the playlist was "Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time," a Midgardian song that Loki had to admit that he quite enjoyed. The lyrics gave the Liesmith a devious idea.
"A wager for you, captain," Loki said to his already tipsy friend.
"Betting against a pirate, are you?" Hook asked. "A poor decision indeed, particularly when you've grown a spare set of horns."
"I am not wearing my helmet right now," Loki corrected. "My wager, Hook, is that I fully do not believe that you are capable of hitting the bullseye on the dart board."
Loki summoned up a throwing knife and handed it over to Hook.
"The stakes?" Hook asked.
Loki told him, and Hook agreed. The captain stumbled unsteadily and threw the knife... which landed no where near the bullseye and, in fact, wedged itself in the middle of Pete's turkey leg.
Hook lost the bet, but all had to admit that he did indeed make the black high heels work.
"This is why a mortal should never challenge a god in matters of drinking," Loki remarked.
"No man in Heaven or Earth can outdrink a pirate!" Hook insisted. "And you may – hic – tell that to your pink elephant friend as well!"
"Shall we put that to the test?" Loki asked slyly.
As "Dark Horse" began to play over the loud speakers, Maleficent, Doom, and Jafar gathered together over at a table off to the side. While all of them had loosened up considerably on behalf of their more extroverted partners, excessive partying wasn't to any of their tastes. Three cups of coffee and a pleasant conversation was this trio's idea of a fun night with friends.
"I must say, Doom, your mystical styling intrigues me," Maleficent remarked. "It is obvious that your base training is in demonic witchcraft, but I've never before seen a witch of that discipline wield power in such a manner."
"For all her faults, Morgan le Fay was an impressive sorceress with a unique style unto herself," Doom replied. "She provided me the necessary knowledge to improve on her method and build upon the witchcraft that I learned from my mother's trunk."
"Yes, you do have a uniquely Morganian style to your magic," Jafar added. "The way your magic is intellectualized and almost scientific in its process speaks to that."
"And what of you, Jafar?" Doom asked. "Obviously your magic is based on your status as a genie, but I believe I recall hearing that you were a sorcerer before a genie."
"That is correct," Jafar nodded. "The city of Agrabah was built upon the ruins of the once mighty kingdom of the Witches of the Sand. I discovered several of their temples during my rise to power. I taught myself many of the spells and enchantments of the ancient sands. While I learned all that I could, I primarily focused my attention on spells that would allow me to exert control over those lesser masses that teemed amidst the filthy streets of Agrabah."
"You have ever been Jafar, I take it," Maleficent said with a light chuckle. "Really, both of your magics are quite fitting reflections of your personalities. The eclectic intellectual and the controlling social-climber. How quaint."
"Your powers, however, are no mystery, Maleficent," Doom said as he made a pointed gesture with his cup of coffee. "Your magic is, of course, fairy in nature, and your primary sources of power are curses and other abilities that inflict plagues and widespread devastation. You, my dear, are a force for destruction and malice."
Maleficent smirked. "You speak as though I do not wear that fact proudly on my sleeve. After all, I-"
She can be my Sleeping Beauty, I'm gon' put her in a coma
Maleficent's eyes flashed with rage as she turned to glare at the DJ. "Insolence! Who dares to write a song with such a lyric?"
Jafar chuckled and stretched his arms as he yawned. "Well, as intriguing as this discussion has been, at the very least I can rest easily assured that I remain the most powerful sorcerer in the universe."
"Do not delude yourself," Doom said with a scoff. "Even with the powers of a genie, you were unable to defeat me in direct combat."
"You used your mortal science in our last battle!" Jafar sneered. "In a contest of magical might, I will prove your superior at any time!"
"Gentlemen," Maleficent said lightly.
"Doom has little need to debase himself with such a contest," he stated. "I merely say that which is true."
"Gentlemen," Maleficent repeated, firmer this time.
"What?" the two men asked in unison.
"Perhaps you'd best cease this squabble and attend to your lovers," Maleficent said, gesturing across the room.
Doom and Jafar groaned when they saw Loki and Hook sitting across from one another with a multitude of shot glasses on the table between them. They quickly departed the booth to prevent the unfortunate contest from taking place. Maleficent smirked to herself and smugly sipped her coffee. After all, she didn't have to boast to know that she was truly the most powerful of them all.
Hades and Ursula peered out at the crowd from backstage. All of the Overtakers were there, under one roof, dancing and partying and celebrating their own evil. It was almost heartwarming... if either of them were the types to feel such a thing.
"What a group we've got," Ursula remarked with a smirk. "Look at 'em all!"
"And, hey, all of this is because of us, babe," Hades remarked. "You and me, Ursie, we're the backbone of this operation."
Ursula raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Hades, sweetie, I know you're older than dirt and probably going senile, but, in case you've forgotten, this is Maleficent's operation."
"Senile? Yeah, cute, hilarious, no," Hades replied. "Trust me, I love Malef. That gal's got the brains and vision like nobody's business. But hear me out: Malef was down on her luck and playin' second fiddle to Xehanort when it was just her and Pete. Once you and me entered the picture, everything started lookin' up for everybody."
"Well everything is better with me! HA!" Ursula boasted.
"Was gonna say things were actually better with me, but, hey, why state the obvious, am I right?" Hades asked.
"Well then, Hades," Ursula said as she twirled around dramatically. "Shall we bring the house down?"
In a flash of fire, Hades summoned a skeletal microphone to his hands. "Babe, I was born ready to sing a song that can only be described as Narcissism: the Musical, HA!"
DJ Deadbeat called the crowd's attention up to the stage and began to play an all too cheerful beat. Hades and Ursula stood center stage as the spotlight fell onto them.
"I promise that you'll never find another like ME!" Ursula sang.
"I know I tend to make it about me," Hades sang.
"I know you never get just what you see," Ursula added, gesturing to her voluptuous curves.
"But I will never bore you, baby," Hades boasted and gestured out to the audience. "And there's a lot of lame guys out there."
"And when we had that fight with Xehanort," Ursula continued, "It was him that we managed to thwart!"
"I've always got a fabulous retort," Hades bragged.
"And there's a lot of lame gals out there," Ursula pointed out, glancing at Amora with a wink.
"'Cause one of these things is not like the others, " they sang together in unison. " Livin' in winter, I am your summer!"
Hades's fires flared up to punctuate his meaning.
"Baby doll, when there's things to discover," Hades said with a wink towards Maleficent.
"I promise that you'll never find another like," Ursula practically whispered into the microphone.
"ME-E-E! " the two sang as a large flashing sign saying "ME" appeared behind them. " Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!"
"I'm the only one of ME! " Hades declared. " Let me keep you company!"
"Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, " Ursula sang with a shimmy. " You're the only one of you. Hades, that's the fun of you."
"And I promise that you'll never find another like, " they both sang, " ME-E-E!"
"Hey, folks! Spelling is fun!" Ursula shouted.
"Girl, there ain't no I in 'team,'" Hades pointed out.
"But you know there is a ME!" Ursula said as she twirled around flamboyantly.
"I'm the only one of ME! " Hades sang. " Baby, that's the fun of ME!"
"Strike the band up, one, two, three," Ursula said as she gestured to the DJ.
"And you can't spell AWESOME without ME!" Hades bragged as he fluffed his collar.
"You're the only one of you, " Ursula sang. " Baby, I'm more fun than you!"
"And I promise that you'll never find another like, " they both belted out together one final time, " ME-E-E!"
The crowd of villains applauded, and Ursula blew kisses out to her "adoring public."
"Hey! We danced, we kissed, we schmoozed! We carried on!" Hades said to the crowd. "Now let's go home HAPPY!"