A/N: Since I'm going to be busy tomorrow, here's an early update! Let me know what you think!
The day that Jennifer Shepard-Gibbs went into labor began largely as an uneventful one. She woke in the early hours of the morning, heading downstairs to make a pot of coffee, and before she had even made it to the bottom of the steps, she knew something had changed. The warm liquid she felt running down her legs was thankfully clear, and as she ran her hand through her hair, she turned back around to walk back up the stairs.
"You couldn't have decided to do this before I walked all the way down here, little one?" she muttered, rolling her eyes.
Luckily, she was spared the task of waking her husband, as the light coming from the open bedroom door indicated he was already dressing for the day. She gave him an amused look as she walked into the room, searching for something simple to wear and as she pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a loose-fitting sweatshirt, she shook her head.
"I hope you're prepared for a long day," she said conversationally.
He raised his eyebrow at her, and she sighed.
"Apparently, our little one has decided she doesn't want to wait until next month for her birthday."
It was so early that it took a moment for her words to register in his half-asleep mind, and when they finally did, he simply stared at her as he tried to articulate a response.
"Do you…how long?"
Jenny rolled her eyes, running a brush through her hair slowly.
"I know I'm well-educated, but my knowledge ends long before knowing the timeline of the birth of a child."
Gibbs glared at her, his hand already poised to slap the back of her head and when she dodged him, she laughed.
"Is that really any way to treat the mother of your child on the very day she's going to bring her into this world?"
"Don't be cute, Jen."
"It comes naturally to me, I can't help it," she quipped.
"You're really annoying when you're excited," he muttered with false irritation.
"Yes, and that's why you love me."
He nodded.
"Yeah."
Much to her dismay and annoyance, Jenny's labor lasted longer than she would have liked, and as she begrudgingly went about her work day, she would occasionally glance down at her stomach, talking to her daughter, wondering just how long this could possibly take.
"I guess you're not in a hurry now? You sure seemed to be earlier. You know, Mommy really doesn't want to spend all day at work and then go to the hospital, so if you could speed it up a bit, that would be great."
There was an answering kick, but nothing to suggest that the process would be any faster, and Jenny sighed, sinking down into her chair. If this didn't move along, Jenny thought she might just lose her mind trying to cope with the boredom. She pulled out her phone, sending a text to Gibbs, hoping he wasn't busy, and tried to think of anything she could do to combat this raging anticipation.
I'm bored.Seconds later, her phone vibrated on her desk, and she laughed as she read the response, rolling her eyes.
Could always try working. Pretty sure that's what they pay you to do when you're here. Nope. Sometimes they're paying me to have sex with you in my office. Not that anyone needs to know that. :)
This was an entirely different level of pain that not even that shootout in California could compare to, long and unyielding, and when she realized they were occurring with an increased frequency, she reached for her phone with shaking hands. She didn't think she had the presence of mind to text properly, and so she opted instead to call him, hoping he hadn't gone far.
"Yeah. Gibbs."
"Can you come up to my office?" she asked, doing her best to keep her tone light.
"Really? Now? Just because your mind is in the bedroom for once instead of mine doesn't—"
"Jesus, Jethro…not for that," she said exasperatedly, "Please come up here."
He must have noticed the pain in her voice, because his tone immediately shifted as he asked her if she was okay.
"I think it may be time for us to leave."
He knew what she meant in an instant and it was only when she said his name that she realized he'd hung up. Seconds later, her office door opened, revealing the very man she'd just been talking to.
"Jen?"
She didn't say a word, but he knew just from the look in her eyes that she was in a fair amount of pain, and he made his way to her desk, holding out his hand.
"Come on."
She took his hand, allowing him to pull her from the chair and he winced at her tight grip, noticing that underneath the pain in her eyes, there was the undeniable sheen of fear in the bright green irises.
"Hey," he said gently, "what's wrong?"
She shook her head, her hair beginning to fall from its ponytail.
"I don't think I can do this, Jethro," she whispered, "What if something goes wrong and we—"
"It won't," he assured her, kissing her hair softly, "everything is going to be fine. And in a few hours, we'll get to see our beautiful baby girl. She's going to be perfect, and so are you. So just breathe, and let's go get ready to meet our daughter."
She nodded, though the fear never left her eyes, and as they passed Cynthia's desk, the younger woman gave her an encouraging smile, and hugged her as the neared the steps.
"You've got this, Director," she said quietly, "You can do anything."
Gibbs gave her a grateful smile as they walked down the steps, Jenny never once releasing her hold on his hand, and as they stepped into the elevator, Tony DiNozzo raised his hand in triumph.
"I won the baby pool!"
The drive to the hospital was a mostly silent one, with Jenny frantically texting Beth as Gibbs drove, and each time he came to a stoplight, he made it a point to ask her if she was okay, resulting in a roll of her eyes after the fifth time.
"Jethro, I'm fine. Just focus on what you're doing. Okay?"
He nodded, feeling so excited that he could hardly stand it, and as he parked the car, Jenny nearly threw her phone in annoyance as she read Beth's latest text. Gibbs frowned as he glanced at her, wondering what the younger woman had said, and she sighed as she felt his eyes on her.
"She said this is payback for my telling her she couldn't just not have Zelda," she explained, "She's leaving Z with her mother and then she and McGee will be here."
"You know the entire team is likely going to be right behind us, don't you?"
She nodded.
"Of course I do. Abby would have threatened them all at gunpoint if they hadn't agreed."
He laughed at the truth of her statement, and as he helped her from the car, he kissed her cheek.
"You ready to meet our daughter?"
"Yeah, and as soon as I do, she's grounded for putting me through this."
It was such a typical Jenny response that Gibbs laughed again, shaking his head as they walked to the door. Her grip on his hand was tight, but not overly so, and he kissed her hair as they came closer.
"I love you, Jen."
She smiled.
"I love you too, Jethro."
The entire process was much smoother than he had expected, much easier than the last two times he'd been through this, and as he held his wife's hand, he frowned at the look of determination in her eyes. Jenny had opted for a vaginal birth, saying that after all she'd gone through with Matthew, she wanted to experience a traditional labor, and as he noticed the pain seemed to be increasing, he wondered if she was now beginning to regret that decision.
She'd accepted the offer of an epidural almost immediately, and though he knew it was normal, making the process easier, he still wished she hadn't. The glazed look in her eyes caused from the medication made him uneasy, reminding him of the way she'd looked laying in this very hospital almost three years ago, and he ran his hand over her hair slowly.
"You okay?"
Jenny nodded.
"Definitely never doing this again, though. So, you'd better get used to the idea of having only one."
He smiled, running his thumb over the back of her hand.
"Already am, Jen."
The actual birth of his second daughter was almost as he'd remembered it being the first time, the only minor difference being that Jenny whispered a few choice words near the end that would have made Shannon blush, and he smiled as he heard the unmistakable sound of a child crying. Jenny closed her eyes at the sound, committing it to her memory, and Gibbs kissed her cheek as he felt his eyes fill with tears.
"You hear that, Jen? She's perfect."
He reached for the medical scissors that the nurse handed him, cutting the cord with ease, and as he held his daughter for the first time, he blinked hard to clear his vision. Making his way over to Jenny, he handed her the baby, making sure he stayed close, and Jenny's eyes filled with tears.
"Oh my God," she whispered, "Jethro, she's so small...she's so...little."
It wasn't until he tore his eyes away from the tiny baby that he noticed how pale Jenny had become, and when he noticed how badly her hands were shaking, he frowned.
"Jen?"
She didn't answer, didn't appear to have even heard him, and when the baby was taken away, Gibbs was just preparing to protest when he noticed the blood staining the sheets.
"Jen? Jenny, can you hear me?"
"She's hemorrhaging. Get him out of here."
Gibbs heard the words, but they made little sense to him, and as he was guided to the door, he finally found his voice.
"What's going on?"
"Your wife is bleeding. More than is normal, and we're going to try to stop it. You can wait in the lobby and someone will let you know as soon as we have more information."
Gibbs didn't have time to protest, wouldn't have even known what to say if he had, and he simply stared at the closed hospital door for nearly twenty full minutes after it had shut behind him. In a daze, he made his way back to the waiting room, not even noticing the members of his team sitting in chairs closest to him.
"Hey, boss! How's the new baby? She got a name yet?"
There were a few laughs, a few cheers, and it was only when Ducky realised that he wasn't smiling, wasn't even acknowledging their presence, that he knew something was wrong. But it wasn't Ducky who spoke first, and if had been anyone else who had, the Scottish doctor doubted it would have snapped him out of his shock.
"Boss? Is...is everything okay?" McGee asked, "Is the baby okay?"
He nodded silently, and Ducky frowned, making his way closer.
"And Jennifer?"
Gibbs didn't speak, and Ducky was reminded of another night, another cold winters night, making his blood freeze.
"Jethro, is Jennifer alright?"
"I...don't know. They kicked me out."
Beth made her way slowly to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, and when she spoke, she made sure to keep her voice soft.
"She's going to be okay. You know Jenny wouldn't leave you to raise her daughter alone. That would be a disaster."
Her words earned her a tight smile, though she knew it was forced, and she frowned as she looked around the room.
"Has anyone called Heather and Miranda? They need to know what's happened."
"We don't even know what's happened," Tony pointed out.
"Jethro, what did they say before they—you know..."
Gibbs shrugged, raising exhausted eyes to Ducky's, willing himself to keep his composure.
"Said she was bleeding. A lot. That's something they can stop, right? Duck?"
The older man nodded, placing his hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Yes. It's somewhat common in births, particularly if a previous birth was difficult, such as the case with Matthew."
"I—I can't lose her, Duck."
His voice broke hard, causing Tony to wince, and the older man tightened his hold on the former marine's shoulder.
"And you're not going to. You're going to raise your daughter together, and live out the rest of your time driving each other insane. You've got to stop thinking the thoughts you're thinking."
"What if she dies, Duck? What do I do then?"
"Then you raise her daughter, and you remind her every day just how much you loved each other and how much Jennifer loved her. But that isn't going to happen. Jennifer isn't going to die."
God, he hoped Ducky was right, but the longer they waited, the less faith he was beginning to have.
They waited for nearly two hours with no information, with Gibbs alternating his time between pacing the floor and staring at his hands as he sat in the hard plastic chair. Heather and Miranda arrived shortly after Gibbs had been unceremoniously thrown from his wife's hospital room, the younger Shepard holding onto her girlfriend's hand so tightly that the promise ring she wore was beginning to bend. Ducky glanced up each time a door opened, almost as desperate for news as Gibbs was, and when he was yet again disappointed, he shook his head.
His mind was a torrent of emotions—happiness for the birth of his friend's daughter, worry for the man he loved like a son, and a concern for the woman he considered his daughter so strong that it was beginning to make him nauseous. He was certain that all of this paled in comparison to the turmoil that Gibbs was currently experiencing, and it wasn't until he heard someone speak that he realised another door had opened.
"Are any of you here for Jennifer Gibbs?"
Ducky placed his hand on Gibbs' shoulder as his head snapped up, and the doctor shook his head, silently telling him to stay put. He was in no condition to deal with any potential bad news, and as the older man made his way closer, he took a deep breath, trying to prepare for whatever he might hear.
"Is she alright?"
The doctor looked at him seriously, nodding slowly, and kept his voice low so as not to disturb anyone else in the room.
"She's recovering now. She's had a blood transfusion, and she's awake, though she's likely going to be very weak for a few days. You can go see her whenever you're ready, but don't overwhelm her."
Ducky let out a sigh of relief, gesturing for Gibbs to walk over, and when he met the younger man's eyes, he frowned at the grief in them.
"Jethro..."
"Jen's dead, isn't she?"
Ducky shook his head, giving him a smile.
"No. She's doing very well, and you're allowed to go see her. She's recovering now. Why don't you go get your daughter and properly introduce her to her mother?"
Gibbs nodded, shaking the hand of the doctor as he made a dash down the hallway, nearly running in his haste to see his wife. Though he had no way of knowing it, everyone in the room he'd left behind breathed a collective sigh of relief when they saw the smile on his face. After all, if he was smiling, there was no way anything had happened to their fearless leader.
Jenny smiled weakly at him as he handed her the baby, and when she gently kissed her head, he felt his eyes fill with tears again. He wanted to say something to her, something other than the stereotypical "You did good, Jen", and as he leaned down to kiss her cheek, he finally found the words he was looking for.
"You ever scare me like that again, I'll kill you myself."
She laughed, kissing him gently, and as she turned her eyes back to the baby in her arms, she shook her head.
"I thought...I thought it was her. I thought something was wrong with her, that it was happening again, and—"
"Shh...not now, Jen. She's safe, you're safe, and everything is perfect."
"You know, I've been thinking...about her name..."
Gibbs frowned, looking at her seriously.
"Jen, I'm not carving that damn crib again, so—"
"No," she assured him softly, "her middle name. I want to call her Anreail. Jillian Anreail. It's unique, but not so weird that she'll be teased later, and I just think it's pretty."
"I love it."
After what he'd just been through, in spite of his protesting and in his elation at having both his wife and daughter alive. Gibbs would have given Jenny anything she wanted.
Ducky smiled as he held the tiny little bundle of blankets in his arms, running his fingers lightly over her cheek. He couldn't believe, after years of Jenny saying that she didn't want children, that he was actually holding her daughter, and after he had passed her to Timothy McGee, he leaned down to kiss Jenny's cheek softly.
"She's absolutely beautiful, Jennifer. Congratulations. I'm so very happy for you."
Jenny smiled, hugging him gently, and when she noticed McGee whispering to the little girl, she frowned.
"McGee! What are you telling my daughter?"
He smiled, shaking his head.
"Telling her that when she gets older, she and Zelda are going to be best friends. They're practically family. Isn't that right, Jilly Bean?"
"Jilly Bean?" Jenny repeated.
He nodded.
"You gave my daughter McNugget, I'm giving yours Jilly Bean. Like Jelly Bean, get it?"
Gibbs jerked his head at his wife, glaring at the younger agent.
"Give my daughter back to my wife."
He did as he was told, and as soon as the baby was out of harm's way, the former marine slapped the back of McGee's head, shaking his own in annoyance.
"You're damn lucky I like you."
Gibbs could tell that Jenny's stamina was beginning to fade, by the way her eyes stayed closed longer each time after she blinked, and he nudged Ducky gently with his arm as he watched her staring at Jillian, too happy to allow herself to truly sleep.
"Jennifer, we'll let you get some rest. Call us as soon as you feel up to having visitors."
She nodded distractedly, still unable to look away from her daughter for longer than a few seconds, and as they disappeared from the room, Gibbs wrapped his arm around them both, kissing Jenny's hair softly.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine, Jethro," she assured him, "Just a bit sore and extremely exhausted."
"You scared the hell out of me," he admitted, "What was I supposed to do if something happened to you?"
Jenny frowned, confused by the way his voice wavered, and she was suddenly hit with the realisation that, for nearly two and a half hours, he'd thought she was dead. She reached up with her free hand to frame his face, giving him a reassuring smile.
"I wouldn't leave you. Not for anything."
"I love you," he said, his eyes filling with tears again, "So very much."
She smiled again, kissing him long and slow, breaking apart only when she felt Jillian stir in her arms.
"I love you too, Jethro."
Her emerald eyes filled with tears as she looked at the tiny baby carefully swaddled in the blankets, and as she kissed the fine hair on the top of her head, they rolled down her face, making Gibbs frown.
"I just can't believe it," she whispered, "She's absolutely perfect, and she's ours. We created this beautiful little girl, and...God, Jethro, look at how precious she is."
He nodded, brushing Jenny's hair back and kissing her forehead gently.
"She's just as precious as her mother," he said seriously.
Gibbs kissed the baby as she wrapped her tiny fingers around the blanket while she slept, and smiled as she turned in the soft fabric.
"Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Jillian," he whispered.
Gibbs didn't think he'd ever seen his wife look as happy as she did in that moment.
The first few weeks of Jillian's life were filled with sleepless nights for her mother, though not through any fault of the baby directly. Jenny simply couldn't bring herself to sleep, too fascinated by the tiny little figure sleeping in the crib that her father had painstakingly built for her. Each time Gibbs woke in the middle of the night to find his wife's side of the bed empty, he merely had to glance in Jillian's room if he wanted to know her whereabouts, and it never failed to make him smile, even in the earliest hours of the morning.
Elisabeth Murphy had been a tremendous help to Jenny in the first few days, watching the baby long enough for the redhead to shower and take the occasional nap, though she still hated missing any moment of time with her daughter. The greatest surprise, however, came when Heather Shepard and her girlfriend Miranda Davis visited, the latter now sporting a gorgeous engagement ring in place of the promise ring she'd been wearing on the day of Jillian's birth.
Jenny's eyes widened at the sparkling ring, immediately asking Miranda if she could examine it more closely, and as she did so, she glanced up at her sister, mock irritation in her emerald eyes.
"And why wasn't I told about this sooner?" she asked, her voice deceptively angry.
"Well, um...it was the day Jillian was born, so...we just thought that—"
"Heather, I'm kidding. I'm so happy for you! Congratulations! I know you're going to be extremely happy together. Have you set a date yet?"
Miranda shook her head.
"Not yet. We'll probably wait until at least next year, what with the holidays coming up and all."
Jenny nodded, handing her daughter over to Heather's waiting arms, and as the younger woman kissed her gently, she smiled.
"God, Jenny...I can't believe you have a baby now. She's so little and adorable!"
Jenny nodded.
"Sometimes it makes me panic, knowing that I'm responsible for keeping this tiny little person alive, and then I remember, at least I have Jethro to help. He's done this before, so it definitely makes it easier."
Heather nodded.
"I bet. Speaking of panicking, have you seen Dr. Lentz since you've had the baby?"
Jenny shook her head.
"No, I haven't had time. Besides, I've been so happy that I didn't see the point."
Miranda frowned, looking at Jenny seriously.
"Jenny, you still have to see him. I know you're still extremely happy right now, but you have to realise that it's because you're enamoured by your daughter. You still have to take care of yourself and manage your illness."
Jenny nodded, smiling at Aries as he jumped up to place his head on her lap.
"I know. I'm going to make an appointment for next week. I just wanted time to be with my little Jilly Bean."
Heather laughed, nodding at Aries as Jenny ran her hand over his head slowly.
"How's your little monster adjusting to life with a baby?"
Jenny smiled.
"Really well. He's so protective of her. He loves her so much. Maybe even more than me."
Miranda laughed, reaching out to pet the dog, and as Jenny picked up her glass of tea, the front door opened, revealing her favourite former marine.
"Hi, Jethro," Heather said, smiling at him as he hung up his coat.
He nodded at Heather and Miranda, leaning over the playpen in the living room to look at his daughter, smiling when he saw her sleeping comfortably.
"How are my girls today?"
Jenny smiled, glancing at the baby.
"Fine. Your little one slept almost the entire day. Think she might have the most normal sleep schedule in the family. Go figure. She's supposed to be the one who keeps us awake, not the other way around."
He leaned down to kiss the top of Jillian's head, smiling as her eyes fluttered in her sleep, and as he made his way to the couch, the glittering ring on Miranda's hand caught his attention.
"Is that what I think it is?"
The younger woman nodded, smiling brilliantly, and Gibbs kissed both her cheek and Heather's as he sat down on the couch next to his wife.
"Congratulations."
Heather's smile, so bright in the early evening sun, reminded him of just how far she'd come since the day they'd met, and Gibbs didn't think he'd ever felt more proud of her.
"Jenny, she's absolutely beautiful. Were there any complications during her birth?"
The redhead smiled at the baby sitting next to her in the carrier for a moment before turning to look at the doctor, her eyes serious.
"Not with her. She was perfectly fine. I started hemorrhaging pretty badly afterwards, and I don't really remember much after they handed her to me the first time. I thought...when they first took her away from me, I thought something had happened to her. I thought I was going to lose her just like—but it was me...I can't even imagine what Jethro went through those first two hours. Ducky said he was a wreck. No one would give them any information, and for a long time, he thought I was dead. I can't even begin to imagine how worried he was. But, we're all here now, and she's perfect, so...I can't really complain."
"And how has your mood been? Have you been experiencing any signs of postpartum depression? Has your appetite changed, or—"
"No," Jenny answered with a smile, "Everything has been great. Jillian sleeps pretty regularly already, but I haven't been getting much sleep myself. I'm sure once it finally hits me that she's not going anywhere, I'll feel relaxed enough to sleep. I do take naps sometimes during the day while Elisabeth watches her, but..."
"Jenny," Dr. Lentz paused, waiting to make sure he had her full attention before continuing, "You're still taking your medication, aren't you? Just because you're in a good place right now doesn't mean that it won't change. You have to continue following the treatment plan that's been laid out for you, unless you want to end up hospitalized again."
She nodded.
"I'm still taking it."
"Good. And I know that you're trying to have as much time with your daughter as possible, but you have to sleep. Running yourself into the ground is simply not an option, because if you do that, you run the risk of potentially causing harm not only to yourself, but to Jillian as well."
Jenny smiled, looking at him with such happiness in her eyes that he almost didn't have the heart to tell her that once the initial rush of being a new parent had worn off, her downward fall was almost certainly inevitable given the nature of her illness. Still, he did warn her, and when she nodded, it eased his mind somewhat.
"Luckily, I have a lot of people there to catch me if I fall, Dr. Lentz."
He smiled, looking at the baby next to her warmly.
"That you do, Jenny."
As fate would have it, Jenny's downward spiral didn't occur until a few days shy of Jillian's first month home, and Gibbs was so caught up working his latest case that he didn't see it immediately for what it was. With Jenny still on maternity leave, he thought nothing of her staying in bed after he'd dressed for the day, and it was only when his phone rang halfway through the day that he realised something was wrong.
"Yeah. Gibbs."
"Jethro, it's Elisabeth Murphy. I just...I didn't really want to call you at work, but...I'm worried about Jenny. She hasn't gotten out of bed all day, hasn't eaten anything I've brought her, and she hasn't even looked at Jillian today."
Gibbs frowned. It wasn't like Jenny to ignore their daughter, and he ran his hand over his face slowly.
"Has she said anything to you?"
"No, sir. She won't speak to me at all. I think she's been crying, though. Her eyes were pretty red earlier."
"Okay. Just keep an eye on her until I get home. Thanks, Elisabeth."
He hung up, feeling less than reassured, and as he picked up his pen again, he sighed. He needed a break. Any kind of break.
After Elisabeth had finished talking to Gibbs, she picked up the baby in front of her, smiling at her as she kissed her forehead.
"Hi, Jillian. Do you want to go see your Mommy? You always make everything better."
Jillian cooed softly at her voice, and as the younger girl walked into the upstairs bedroom, she knocked quietly.
"Jenny? I brought someone to see you. I think she misses you."
Jenny didn't move, the only sign of life coming from the slight movement of the sheets as she breathed, and when she finally raised her head from the pillow, she sighed.
"Elisabeth, I appreciate this, but I'm just not in the best place right now."
"I noticed. Do you want to talk about it?"
Jenny shook her head, looking at the baby in the younger girl's arms. Elisabeth passed Jillian to her, and as she felt the warmth of her daughter's skin, nestled so closely in her embrace, a small smile came across her face.
"Hi, baby girl. What have you been doing today? Have you been a good girl for Elisabeth?"
Elisabeth smiled.
"She's an angel."
Jenny kissed her daughter's hair gently, smiling again as she closed her eyes, snuggling closer to Jenny's warmth. It really was true...her daughter had given her life purpose again, when she'd thought nothing else could.
By the time that Gibbs had made it home, Jenny's mood had improved drastically, and he found her curled up on the couch holding Jillian in her arms. Aries was laying at her feet, his ears twitching as he slept, and as Gibbs quietly closed the door behind him, he gave her a warm smile.
"Hi," he said softly, trying not to wake the baby.
She nodded.
"Hey. How was work?"
"Boring. It's just not the same without you there."
Jenny laughed quietly, shaking her head.
"Jethro, I'll be back in three days. You can handle it by yourself until then. So long as you don't kill DiNozzo."
He walked closer, sitting behind her on the couch, pulling her into his arms, and as they laid in comfortable silence, he ran his fingers through her long red hair slowly.
"I love you, Jen."
She smiled.
"I love you, too. But, to be honest, I think I might love our little Jilly Bean just a bit more."
He laughed, kissing her temple.
"I would certainly hope so."
Gibbs trailed his lips along the base of her throat, making her shiver, and as he stood carefully, he gave her a look that was sinful.
"Jen, I think Jillian wants some time alone in dreamland."
She smiled, handing the baby to him so she could stand, and as he carried his daughter to her room, Jenny watched him go with a feeling of love so strong that it was nearly overwhelming. When she joined him in the bedroom moments later, her depression from earlier in the day had been all but forgotten.
Though she wanted to spend all of her time with Jillian, Jenny forced herself to go back to work the following week, relying on Elisabeth Murphy to care for her, and as she left for the morning, she fought against the panic she could feel building within her chest. Gibbs could sense her unease as he drove, reaching over to take her hand as he pulled into the parking lot, raising it to his lips slowly.
"She'll be just fine, Jen," he said gently, "Elisabeth is there, and she has both of our numbers. She can call us if anything happens."
She knew he was right, knew she was just overreacting, but still it was a struggle for her to leave the truck, her chest still unbelievably tight. Gibbs knew, just by the look in her eyes, that she was dangerously close to total collapse, and so it was with great determination that he led her to the elevator, powering it down as soon as the doors had closed behind them. He reached for her hand, guiding her to the floor, and as she sat on the cold lift tiles, he brushed her hair behind her ear, his voice so gentle that she could hardly believe this was the same man who had threatened countless suspects over the years and even killed a fair few.
"Just breathe, Jen," he whispered, "You can do this. You've done much more difficult things, even in the past month, and Jillian will be perfectly safe without us for a few hours. You and I both know that Elisabeth won't let anything happen to her."
Jenny shook her head, her breath coming in short desperate gasps, and her fingers gripped his jacket so tightly that they'd turned pure white.
"W-what if she gets sick? Or—or what if she falls off the changing table, or—"
"Jenny, calm down. She won't. And even if she does, Elisabeth will take care of her. She can take your car if anything happens, but it won't. Everything will be fine."
Finally, she began to calm down, her breathing slowing to a normal pace, and when Gibbs finally felt she was stable enough to stand, he rose, pulling her with him. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hair lightly, and gave her a smile as he met her bright green eyes.
"We can call on lunch and check on her. Okay?"
She nodded, giving him a weak smile in return, and as he flipped the emergency stop switch, he slapped the back of her head smartly. Jenny didn't even question his actions, and as they finally made their way to their respective work areas, she finally felt calm enough to breathe freely.
Just as Jenny was sitting down behind her desk, Elisabeth Murphy was changing Jillian's diaper, smiling at the little baby as she reached for the talcum powder, buttoning her cute little outfit that the bubbly Goth girl had gotten for her. Abby, she thought, was the girl's name. She couldn't believe she'd been fortunate enough to have such stability in her life, especially after the death of her father and Jake, but Jenny had been simply amazing in that regard. The redhead had taken her in, given her a chance when no one else had, and Elisabeth had long ago decided that taking care of her precious little girl was the least she could do to repay her for her kindness. She brushed her gold hair out of her face as she lifted Jillian into her arms, wondering how long it would be until she began to smile, and as she held her in her right arm, she reached for her cell phone.
Snapping a quick picture of the two of them, she sent it to Jenny, hoping that she would feel slightly reassured when she saw her daughter. Elisabeth knew she'd been nervous about leaving her daughter alone for the first time since her birth, and she hoped this would ease some of the worry. After all, Jenny had given her so much...this really was the least she could do.
Jenny smiled as soon as she pulled up the picture that Elisabeth had sent, reading the accompanying text quickly, and felt her eyes fill with tears.
Jillian wanted to say good morning, Mommy.
It was quite possibly the most precious thing Elisabeth could have sent her, and the older woman was touched by her thoughtfulness. She texted her back carefully, trying not to make any mistakes through her tears, and as she took another drink of her coffee, she laughed softly. Gibbs was right. Jillian was perfectly safe, appeared to be happy, and she'd been worrying over nothing. As she forwarded the text from Elisabeth to her husband, Jennifer Shepard-Gibbs wondered if it were possible to overdose on pure love. She certainly hoped so.
A/N: Pronunciation of Jillian's middle name: Ann-ree-elle. It's the middle name of a friend of mine. Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter!