A/N: Ok, I know the break-up is being dragged on, but you need to feel their pain lol. Better things are coming tomorrow! :)

Thank you to creaatingmadness for the guidance and help with this chapter, you're a goddess!

~There are plenty of ways to die, but only love can kill and keep you alive to feel it~

The nightmare from the night before shook me up; I knew it was just a dream. It didn't even make sense. I guess it was just a combination of knowing that Edward's ex was dead and our argument. Being without him is taking a toll on me, and it's messing with my head.

I know he has nothing to do with his exes death—he may be a bit unstable with his emotions, but he's not capable of murder. There is a vulnerable, damaged boy with a heart of gold underneath all the suffering and aggression.

Dreams are just exaggerated versions of our worst thoughts and insecurities.

It's a Saturday afternoon, and I'm at the only grocery store in town. I barely wanted to leave the house today, but we were running low on food, and I'm usually the one that does the shopping—with Charlie's money.

I'm a mess, my hair a tangled disaster, but it's covered with an oversized, baggy hoodie I'm drowning in. I'm bare-faced, and I'm sure my eyes are puffy and red from all the crying I've been doing for the past few days. Hopefully, no one will recognize me and will leave me alone.

The thing I hate the most about this town is how you're constantly running into people you know; it's impossible to escape from them. I can't wait until I can fucking leave and move to a big city where no one will know a thing about me.

"Bella?" I hear a soft, gentle voice behind me call my name. See, this is exactly what I mean, and I've only been here for five minutes. I guess the hoodie didn't work.

I turn around and see Esme. She's impeccably dressed, her hair and make-up perfectly done. I must look like a slob standing next to her.

My stomach twists in knots; on the one hand, I'm so glad to see her, Esme is so lovely and I've really missed her, of all people I don't mind her bothering me—but on the other hand, it just brings back the painful memory that I'm not with Edward anymore. He looks so much like her, with the same striking, captivating jade eyes that haunt my dreams—and every waking moment.

I wonder what he's said to her about me, if she even knows that we're broken up—if she hates me now? This is going to be awkward.

"Esme, how are you?" I ask politely, trying my hardest to force a smile on my face.

"Sweetheart, I should be the one asking you that." Her eyebrows furrow with worry.

So I guess she knows then, but why is she concerned for me? Shouldn't she hate me for breaking her son's heart?

I also broke mine in the process.

"I'm ok," I lied. I'm not ok, the furthest thing from ok. I feel like someone swallowed me whole, chewed me up, and spit me back out—but I can't tell her that.

"Are you sure? You don't seem alright sweetie, you look very pale and like you've shed a few pounds; have you been eating?" She reaches over and holds onto my bicep in a caring motion with her dainty hand; the diamond rings on her fingers shine.

No.

I guess I didn't have to say anything for her to know; Esme has this motherly premonition—or maybe I just look that horrible.

I stand there awkwardly, wringing my hands, trying to hide my face further behind my hood, wanting to disappear. I shouldn't have come out.

I appreciate Esme's concern, but this is too much for me—I'm not used to confronting my problems, I never had a mom to do that with.

I want to ask how Edward is doing, but I don't have to; it's like she can read my mind—and emotions.

"Bella look, I don't know the full story, but I do know that Edward loves you so much. He's having a very difficult time with the breakup." Her alluring eyes become glossy. "I'm not trying to guilt-trip you. I want what is best for you, but I can tell that you're not doing much better." Her worried eyes look me up and down.

There's so much I want to say, but the words won't come out. I feel trapped in my own body.

"There is something so special between you two; it was clear from the first moment I saw you together. You're both battling with so much, but I know if you both can come through the other side, you will be extraordinary together." Those words break the hold on me, and tears start rushing down my face.

"I d-don't know how I should feel—I'm trying to do the r-right thing, but it just hurts... so much." Those are the only words I'm able to force out, my voice trembling and weak.

Esme steps towards me and brushes my tears away with her gentle fingers. "I don't know what happened between you two, and I can't excuse my son's action because believe me, I know the temper on him. I fully respect any decision you make, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here, honey." She pulls me in and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. She smells like cinnamon and vanilla.

I miss the warmth and softness of someone's body around mine, comforting me, distracting me from all of my daunting thoughts. For a moment, it feels like everything is alright and the world around me is not completely disintegrating—but it's the wrong persons arms around me, not the ones I need.

Suddenly her grip feels unbearable and suffocating, the urge to crumble and cry so strong I can hardly breathe. I pull away hastily. "Thank you so much Esme, but I have to go—I'm so sorry," I choke on my words and rush out of the store before I fall apart in front of everyone and become the 'news of the week.'

I break down and start shaking as sobs rip from my body once I reach my car; all the pain, emotions, and heartbreak unraveling until nothing is left of me.

I need Edward.