Mario clenched his fists at his side as his body trembled.
He stood outside of Pauline's room with his body shaking from pure anxiety. He attempted to hold his body still as he attempted to muster up the courage to knock, but the trembling was out of his control and seemed to hold him back. He stared at the closed door with a deep frown, terrified of the beast that was locked behind it.
It had been a few hours since Pauline had blown up in Mario's face and left him alone, causing his guilt to slowly eat away at him until he found the guts to approach her. Even though several hours had passed, His stomach fell as he played back their last encounter and how it had ended on such a sour note.
He knew he had surely hurt her or pushed her towards her breaking point; he didn't blame her for the way she reacted. At the very least, he held himself somewhat accountable for guiding her towards whatever had upset her.
He hoped that he had given her enough space for him to approach her again.
Mario took a deep breath followed by a nervous exhale as he mustered up every drop of courage he could find within him. He sucked up his pride and knocked very lightly after a few moments of hesitation, flinching at the idea of barging in on her at a bad time. He knew he would likely be a bother considering how tense the air felt around her room, but that didn't stop him from wanting to fix what had happened between the two.
Mario flinched in shock as he took a step back, Pauline nearly instantly unlocking the door and opening it. She quickly noticed who she was met with and ducked her head behind the door, only allowing her eyes to poke out beside it. She stared at him with shocked suspicion.
"Pauline, please, I-"
Pauline vigorously shook her head.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," she muttered as if she had rehearsed her words very thoroughly. Pauline attempted to cover her embarrassment from behind the door but her eyes were very clearly dripping with shame. "I meant to say sorry, I really did, but-"
"Can I come in?" Mario interrupted with his best attempt at a genuine smile, but it was just as shaky as him.
Pauline hesitated as she seemed to think to herself for a few moments. After giving a nervous nod, she backed away and pulled the door open, revealing her full image.
Mario inwardly froze at Pauline's appearance as her eyes trailed up and down her body. She was a different person and if she hadn't spoken to him, he might've not recognized her.
Nearly everyone knew Pauline as the talented actress that caught eyes no matter where she went or what she wore; she was a loud beauty that very rarely went unnoticed. However, as he stared at her, not bothering to hide his surprise, he stood before...well...a mess.
Pauline's eye makeup was smudged and dragged along her eyes, which were red and swollen from hours of emotion. Her hair was unbrushed and a bit frizzy, messily put up in a large bun on top of her head with a few strands of hair cupping her cheeks.
She wore an oversized t-shirt with a graphic design of several koopas and a logo he couldn't recognize. He assumed it was some intense band of which he would probably never give a chance. The shirt was large and drooped over her knees and legs, which were bare except for a pair of black socks.
Her clothes were casual, which wouldn't be any concern to him if he were analyzing any other woman...but he was staring at the Pauline! Mario's eyes were wide as he tried to figure out who he was talking to...as there was no way that was the same Pauline who dressed like a movie star in her day-to-day life.
Pauline noticed Mario's eyes trailing over her and she quickly crossed her arms with a roll of her eyes.
"It's...kinda rude to stare. I can't always be the opera house's eye candy," she muttered in embarrassed defense.
Mario quickly snapped out of his trance with a frantic shake of his head.
"No, no! You look...wonderful, actually," he whispered with genuine awe. "I think this is the first time that I have seen you look like a normal human. It's a lot less intimidating."
Mario blushed as he remembered his first encounter with the actress, realizing his gut felt the same way when he had first laid eyes on her. While Pauline currently looked like a complete 180 from the woman he had met years ago, she still stood with the beauty that had initially caught his attention.
At the time, he had nearly choked to death on his words over how dramatically beautiful she was; it was enough to distract him from their first performance, and the memory of his brutally butchered lines was enough to make his face turn red with embarrassment.
It was as if he were meeting Pauline all over again. Or, at least a new side of her of which he hadn't encountered yet. She was both intimidating and more welcoming than she had ever been.
Mario stood still, awkwardly entranced by her.
Though his words were genuinely enchanted by her current appearance, Pauline let out a soft 'hmph' as she interpreted his words as sarcasm.
"I'm intimidating? Maybe it's just because of my height," Pauline teased, shocking her company out of his trance. She knew his height was an easy way to set him off, but she groaned as he continued glaring. "I can drag you a little bit, too, you know," she huffed. "Consider us even."
For a moment, Mario's chest burst with frustration at her attempts at deflection, but after a small exhale, he calmed himself down. He had heard enough of crude comments about his height and they didn't bother him much anymore, though he couldn't ignore how it stung to hear it from someone as close to him as Pauline.
Pauline scoffed at his reaction as she turned around and sat at the single table that adorned her large room. Just like every actor's room, it was identical to the one next to it besides a few personal items, and didn't catch Mario's attention for long.
Mario closed the door behind him as he entered her room and joined her at the table. He stared at his company for a few seconds before finally addressing why he had bothered her.
"I want to hear you out, Pauline."
Pauline's posture stiffened at his offer.
"Hear me out?" She repeated in confusion, though her words were a bit defensive. "About what?"
"About everything. You are so...passionate about Peach's disappearance," he stated with a shameful frown. "I shouldn't discredit you because I have a different opinion. You're a smart woman, Pauline, I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't."
Pauline's face flushed with color at Mario's genuine plea for forgiveness. Though he had fully missed the mark for her emotional outburst, his reassurance was more than enough to overwhelm every fiber of her.
"M-Mario, I'm not upset about that! Really!" She muttered with a frown of humiliation at the idea of her being bothered by such a petty thing.
"Then what upset you? What can I do to fix it?" Mario asked as he passionately leaned forward on the table. He spoke with clear concern but hesitated as he sat back in his chair, clearing his throat as he realized he was coming off a bit too intensely. "I keep telling myself I need to stay quiet. But, something is eating away at you! Please, I'm here for you," he added with a softer tone of voice.
Pauline's face was bursting with color at his open worry for her. She was never a woman to show her emotions so easily; she was literally paid to parade around with a 1facade. Though, she hadn't expected such concern from someone so close to her, so it easily cracked her composure. It caught her off guard and sent her heart into orbit, panicking at the way he had looked at her before he lost his passion.
Thankfully, Mario seemed oblivious to how his words struck her so powerfully and instead internally criticized himself for what he assumed was him coming off like an idiot.
Pauline's flustered frown was replaced with a confused glare as she digested his care. While she was...flattered to have him care about her, she couldn't find herself eager to give him an answer he wouldn't enjoy hearing.
Pauline's hands dug into her large shirt and balled the ends into her fists out of anxiety, terrified of where the conversation was heading. She tried to find the courage to speak but anytime she got close to spitting out her story, her mind went into panic and seemed to shackle her down.
Mario stared at her with pure patience, waiting for her to speak whenever she was ready. After a few weak attempts at answering him, Pauline finally whispered a vague response.
"The queen and I...have some history, to say the least," she finally murmured under her breath. Her voice vibrated with anticipation as she seemed unprepared and overwhelmed with the idea of blurting out her experiences.
"Queen Koopa?" Mario asked with a tilt of his head. He had a feeling she felt bitterly about the monarch, and the look of distaste contorting her face at the mention of her name confirmed his theory.
Pauline nodded and continued.
"My family raised me here. I don't know what they were thinking, but they swore by the Darklands. Funnily enough, that's what got them in trouble," she whispered with a soft, pained smile. "Things are more tolerant now. Not by much, but humans can walk around without any human-targeted crime in public, at least."
Mario silently nodded his head as Pauline finally opened up to him. Though, his mind was rushing with curiosities regarding her identity.
While he claimed to have been incredibly close to the girl, he quickly realized how little he knew about her and her past as she mentioned that she had history with the queen. The more he thought about it, it became clear that he knew nothing about her childhood, family, or even upbringing; he only knew her through their experiences together.
Pauline seemed to think back with a calm haze covering her eyes for a few moments before her expression fell blank. Pauline's subtle fondness quickly faded to several other emotions Mario was hardly able to keep up with, though none of them were positive.
Her eyes shook from side to side as she glared down at her lap. It was almost as if she were reliving a memory she was playing back, one of which she desperately wanted to be pulled out of.
Pauline's eyes finally landed on one emotion: terror.
"I came home one day and everything was just...wrong. I was excited to tell my family about classes that day...I had gotten a good score on one of my tests, you know. My father had helped me study all weekend," she recalled with distantly regretful eyes "I was so excited to thank him for the help, but I couldn't."
Pauline's glare glazed over as she recalled that day. Every word and every traumatic image was burned into her memory and seemed to suck the life out of her with every word.
"I walked through the door and my mother...father...sister, everyone, they were…" Pauline's words trailed off into broken whispers as images and adrenaline pumped through her mind. "I wasn't...there to stop anything. I couldn't have done anything, but what if I could've just...just…"
Mario noticed her spiraling and quickly leaned forward, trying his best to pull her out of the hole she was falling into.
"What happened next?" He asked in a soft tone.
His question seemed to pull her out of her mind as she sniffled with a small nod.
"Everyone said she would make it right. I believed them," Pauline whispered as the previous terror was covered with a blanket of growing, intense rage. "I asked everyone I could find for help but every koopa shrugged me off with a smug 'go tell the queen if you want to do something about it,'" she spat.
Pauline's grip on her shirt increased as she paused, trying to find the energy to continue.
"You...you managed to ask her?" Mario asked after a few seconds of silence.
He stared at her in complete shock and awe. While he wasn't necessarily in favor of the queen or her royal tendencies, the fact that Pauline had managed to stand in her presence was an opportunity he hadn't even considered; common koopas and especially humans were almost always pushed away no matter how desperate they were.
The royal koopas, the king included when he was alive, were bitter, selfish beings that only acted on self interest. The royals were infamous for their hatred for humans, even. While they had a good portion of their public convinced that they were gods, many common folk had similar experiences to Pauline and actively spoke against them.
Though, that never ended well for the few that publically pushed against the royals.
"Only took a few weeks of waiting," she finally answered with a laugh filled with a mockery at her past self. "It makes me sick to my stomach...I was so eager to talk to her, but she had me thrown in the streets, treating me like a lunatic. I had lost everything and she treated me like I was bothering her."
She paused for a scoff.
"I was a lunatic for approaching her. I know now that I didn't need her, but that didn't stop me from going back. I was so...desperate to find answers for what had happened. I spent everything I had just to gather any evidence to grab her attention. I had all the pieces for her, but she sent me away again. It wasn't enough for her to be interested in me or my family."
Out of the two royals, the queen was the image of sophistication and wealth among the Darklands. She was in charge of societal problems and laws while the king was too busy with the burden of war. While she screamed power herself, the title of violent monarch rested in her husband's claws.
"Not even...the king would help you?" Mario asked a bit insensitively. He knew neither royals were kind, understanding rulers, but a part of him believed at least someone would have helped her.
"'Course not," Pauline groaned. "This was around 10 years ago, so he was too busy gunning down humans at war," she spat. "I doubt he ever even knew I existed before he died. Serves him right."
Mario's eyes fell down as he attempted to digest Pauline's past.
She had everything stolen from her, only to have society push her away from any closure. Though Pauline's eyes were bursting with rage and regret, he had no doubt that her heart was cracking at the edges from recalling what had happened to her.
He couldn't imagine losing so much only to be thrown into the world alone with no one to guide you.
"I know I'm probably overthinking everything. I know that, I really do," Pauline muttered in saddened embarrassment. "I just...I despise the queen. I know she's up to no good. If I wasn't enough for her, something has to be… she found something she wants."
Pauline's eyes dropped to her lap as her stomach fell due to a pang of jealousy starting to rise in her chest. The bitter jealousy that flowed through her was ice cold and gave her goosebumps, only furthering her discomfort. She tightly crossed her arms over her stomach, trying to cover up any symptoms of her unfair feelings, but they never seemed to fade.
Mario and Pauline had only grown incredibly closer because of Peach. Every time they talked or made plans, it was to talk about Peach; it made Pauline grow increasingly upset and uncomfortable at the pattern. She wanted to save her more than anything, but her heart ached, wishing she had had someone looking out for her just as she had been doing for Peach.
Pauline looked back up towards Mario with desperate, humiliated eyes.
"I shouldn't be jealous of Peach, but...a part of me is. It's wrong, I know, but it hurts seeing the queen's guards and hearing about her orders. Even though I think she's up to no good, I still wonder...where was any of this for me? For anyone that needed help?" Pauline rambled through shaking, broken words. She paused for a groan of humiliation as she pressed her face into her palms. "I'm so selfish."
Pauline tried to silence the sobs that started uncontrollably flowing out of her. The more she tried to hold herself back, the more she covered her palms in tears.
She sat in silence as she felt her facade crack towards obliteration, the chilling feeling crawling across her skin and making it hard for her to breathe. She knew she was wrong and deserved to feel horrible for the jealousy that weighed her down, but it just wouldn't leave her.
She could feel Mario's eyes burning through her, surely judging her inhumane emotions.
No matter how anyone looked at it, Pauline knew she deserved to feel incredibly guilty for feeling jealous of Peach. She should have been ecstatic to see the queen taking efforts to bring Peach back to the production, yet the news only gave her more fuel to cry herself to sleep at the idea. The bitterness that laid dormant in her was disgusting.
Peach was a lovely girl that didn't deserve to meet a similar fate to Pauline's family. She knew that, yet she still felt bitter every time she heard any word of the queen and her interest in Peach and the phantom. A part of her wanted to have had the queen's interest instead of having it in Peach's direction...she was so selfish, but she couldn't stop wishing no matter how self aware she was.
Pauline deserved the pain and misguided cravings for the queen's attention; she did it to herself.
"You are not selfish!" Mario cried after finally digesting Pauline's rambling. "You are enough, Pauline, please. You're just at your breaking point because you hide this side of yourself. Your wounds aren't healing, they're just...they're just spreading!"
Pauline's sobs slowly faded at Mario's reaction.
She felt another pang of guilt at the way he reacted; he was so kind and patient with her, no matter how difficult or unfair she was. She had no doubt that he recognized that her emotions were selfish and wrong, yet his concern for her never faded.
He cared about her enough to understand how she felt, even if she was bitter.
Pauline looked through her hands with distantly-hopeful eyes.
"What do I do?" She whispered with a sniffle. "What do I do?" She repeated in desperation, her words beginning to shake even further. "Everywhere I go, I remember what happened! The guards, the queen...I just...I don't know how to escape all of this."
Mario leaned forward and gently grabbed Pauline's arms, pulling her hands away from her face and revealing Pauline's puffy, red face covered in her damp eye makeup. Her mascara and eyeliner were smudged all across her cheeks and under her eyes. She looked down towards her tear-soaked hands, seeing the remnants of her makeup coating her palms in a murky gray color.
She turned her head away, terrified to realize how ridiculous she looked, especially since she had cried in front of one of the only people she had finally felt confident around. She held her breath as embarrassment crept up on her. She hated feeling vulnerable, especially around someone like him.
Mario's soft gaze did not falter at her state.
How had he overlooked Pauline's silent pain throughout the years? How had he never taken the time to know her on this level, let alone openly care enough for her to open up to him about her past? Mario stared at her in pure regret as her arms trembled in his grip.
He had noticed that she had grown more irritable and paranoid, but he hadn't considered the idea that it was rooted in something so terrible.
He had been too distracted to reach out to her; he felt responsible for her state. Peach's disappearance had taken a toll on the two of them...it had even become their main topic of discussion and the main reason they were in each others' company. And, without him realizing it, Peach's disappearance had reignited her pain that had hardly had the time to scar over.
Did she truly believe that she didn't matter? Did she feel that the only reason he was around her so much recently was because of his care for Peach? Mario's heart sank as he realized he had been acting incredibly selfish throughout the years; he had never been there for her. She had been suffering alone.
Mario frowned, realizing how he had indirectly played a part in Pauline's distress festering and inevitably bursting out all at once. He could have helped or asked her what he could've done sooner, but he didn't.
Pauline did matter. He needed to prove it to her.
"Can't I do something?" Mario whispered with desperation. "I care about Peach. I care about her a lot," Mario sighed. "But, Pauline...you matter to me, too. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was only around you for her or that your past didn't matter."
He paused.
"You are worth a lot to me. Please don't let the queen define how much you are worth!" He begged as she darted her eyes away from him. "I want to show you how much you're worth, Pauline."
Pauline's eyes fell to her lap as she avoided Mario's caring stare and desperate words. She wanted to cry but exhaustion seemed to have drained her of the ability to let out any emotion.
No matter how hard she tried to understand his concern, her mind fell flat anytime she got close to understanding why he wanted to do such a thing for a girl who held such terrible emotions. She hated what bubbled within her, but they were still her emotions, and she couldn't deny them, even if they were out of her control.
She knew she didn't deserve to feel important, but...she did.
Mario and Pauline had only ever been around one another recently because of Peach's disappearance. While she truly held the motivation to set Peach free from whatever had stolen her, a part of her became drained the more she realized Peach seemed to be everyone's priority.
Including the queen's, and even Mario's.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed, all Pauline was able to muster was a small sigh of acceptance as her tears gently fell onto her t-shirt. As much as she wanted to refuse him and his kindness, she couldn't find the energy to reject him.
Maybe that was for the best.