"I thought you were planning the perfect mission," Hours after his wife had decided to bait the bastards' leader with both the regiment and the so-called perfect operation, Michael caught Nikita curled up in one of the rolling chairs flipping through a tablet. She had pulled herself away from the others so she could work on her plan without any teasing judgement. Also, the team was building their case for Interpol, and she knew she would've been easily distracted by their discussion. She got preoccupied by something else anyway. Her husband eventually noticed, and moved to help her refocus.
"Yeah. But then I got distracted," Although Nikita switched off the tablet and put it aside, her mind wouldn't move past the subject. She had gotten a reminder for her upcoming doctor's appointment, and became far more interested in reading about her pregnancy than planning an op. For anxiety's sake, she only researched the week and trimester she was currently in- there was no need to freak out about things that hadn't happened. But that day, she fell down a rabbithole. She should've put the tablet down a while ago. It was too late for her overactive imagination, though, "Hey, Michael. Can I talk to you about something?"
"Anything," Michael sat in the chair next to her, and tugged on her armrests so that she rolled closer to him. The motion made Nikita grin and relax a bit. She was sure she was being a little over dramatic- her changing hormones at fault for that. Yet it wasn't as though she was worried about an impossibility. Maybe if she talked about it and got out of her head, she'd calm down. Her husband was always great at reassuring her and helping her breathe. She couldn't afford to be anxious about anything at the moment, not when she had a mission to create.
"Well, first: if you ever leave me at any point in the delivery process, I will divorce you and take sole custody of the baby, Barkhoff, and our entire family," Whatever Michael was expecting from their conversation, that certainly wasn't it. His wife caught him by surprise, causing him to laugh. Nikita was giggling as well, though. That was certainly the lighter of the things she wanted to talk about. She still had a while to go before she had to actually think about giving birth. But after stumbling across birthing stories on the website she had searched through- well- fears she thought she had buried deep resurfaced.
"That's fair," Agreeing easily, Michael continued to chuckle. Of course he wouldn't leave Nikita's side- that wasn't even a question. There was no way he would ever leave her alone in regards to their baby. If he did, then the punishment she set was justified. He knew how stressed and panicked she was; he felt the same. They needed one another to get them through. She smiled softly at him, twisting slightly in her chair. There hadn't been any doubt that they'd be on the same page about that. It was simply something that needed to be said to help calm her nerves.
It was probably ridiculous how worked up she was. She had roughly twenty-nine weeks left before the baby was due. As soon as that seemed, there was still plenty of time to plan for things and end their fight with the bastards. Nikita wasn't really worried about that, however. She was confident she and Michael could figure everything out. It was motherhood that appeared intimidating. The married couple had fallen into that conversation before, and the steadfast conclusion was that she wasn't her foster parents. But she wasn't worried about being like them, "And, second: if anything happens to me, I want you to put all your focus on the baby. Don't… just… the baby is always the priority, even at the expense of one of us."
"Whoa, hey, Nikita. Where is this coming from?" Michael shot up on the edge of his seat and tried to bring himself as close to his wife as possible. She hadn't shown concern for her pregnancy before- that anxiety belonged to him. She was healthy, she took care of herself, and she remained stubborn and badass in everything she did. Both Nikita and the baby were fine; they would continue to be fine. Something she read must've freaked her out. And her husband was slowly beginning to realize what that might've been.
"Just promise, okay?" Nearly pleading, Nikita fidgeted in her seat. She thought she would've been okay talking about it. She almost did with Alex once, but she got scared and let the sentence drop. Just like when she was a kid, talking about what happened to her birth mother choked her words in her throat. She wasn't quite sure if it was some sort of guilt or simply hurt in general that made her unable to discuss her mother dying in childbirth. Regardless, it was something she never processed or healed from. She didn't think she had to, until then. Reading about other women's birth stories made her realize complications weren't that uncommon. Things could fall apart for her and her husband so quickly, especially if it ran in her family.
"Yes. Of course. I'll always look after our baby. But nothing's going to happen," Securely, Michael took hold of his wife's hand and squeezed it hard. Alex mentioned a while back that Nikita was concerned about the delivery. He was honestly surprised it took her that long to say anything to him about it. She was upfront about all the other thoughts rushing through her mind. Maybe she kept pushing the worst anxiety aside while her focus shifted to more important things. Whatever she had seen on the tablet really scared her though- more than her fear of not being mother material.
Whereas Michael saw her worry as unsubstantiated, Nikita couldn't shake the thoughts loose. She really needed to. Not only because she still had an operation to create, but also because she had to keep her stress levels down. There was no use in worrying about things that might not even happen. And in the off chance that it did, it was months down the line. She should let her husband comfort her, and she should breathe. Yet she couldn't let it go, "It happened to my birth mother. And it might be genetic."
"And it might not be. You're going to be okay. And I'm going to be with you no matter what. You don't have to think about this right now. It's a long way off, and we have other things to plan for. Like, whatever disastrously insane idea you have," Michael was ready with that response. It definitely wasn't a solution to her fear, but he had enough hope that it would work out for them. They had survived everything else life had thrown at them, after all. Nikita remained a bit wary, but his quip about her crazy schemes got her to softly grin again. And the kiss he soon placed on her knuckles allowed her to relax even more.
"It's a good one too. You get to wear tights," Twisting back and forth in her chair- that time playfully instead of nervously- Nikita's eyes sparkled with an old joke. Although his own eyes rolled, Michael couldn't help but chuckle. Leave it to her to bounce back from grave seriousness and almost tears with a tease directed at him. He nudged her chair with his foot, causing her to roll away from him. She took that act as a declaration of war. She used the desk to slingshot herself back to him, and nudged him in return.
"I know it's a lot of hard work, but sometimes I just want to skip the dating process and just dive right into whatever they have," Abandoning the file she was compiling, Alex stared at Michael and Nikita. She could've sworn they were having an intense conversation when she glanced up at them earlier. But at that moment, the married couple were sharing smirks as they laughed, snarked, and pushed at each other in their rolling chairs. Their joy had distracted her, except she wasn't annoyed. She honestly needed some kind of break.
Compiling a case for Interpol was great, but Alex felt as though they needed to be out in the field. There had to be more active ways to take down the bastards than the amount of research they found themselves doing. Which, there would be once Nikita's idea was complete. Alex shouldn't be in too much of a hurry to get back out there. Yet she felt the need to bounce from mission to mission to save the world. Maybe she was distracting herself from her thoughts over that normal life she just couldn't reach. She had somewhat talked about that with her mother and Nikita, but that was certainly something she had to explore more in depth. Fortunately, Sonya snapped her out of those thoughts with a quip, "You want to be like dramatic assassins?"
"Ooh. Low blow from Sonya. You know, it would mean a whole lot more if you weren't engaged to Birkhoff," Alex just had to tease. She was glad her friends were happy in their marriage and engagement. And she did feel satisfied with all the wonderful work she was doing stopping human traffickers with the UN. There was simply more she knew she should have but didn't. Then wasn't the time to get into all of that though- later, when she had more of a chance to settle. For the moment, she'd just focus on taunting Sonya.
"Well he is sweet," The hacker made it easy but stating that fact dreamily, and casting an adoring look towards Birkhoff. Alex tried not to laugh, yet it was so difficult not to cast a strange glance and chuckle. Imagining the nerd as sweet was just too much. Sonya instantly went on the defensive. She knew the team would never judge their relationship or tear it down. But they did pick on her fiancé a fair amount. He might have deserved it sometimes with how biting his remarks could be. But he didn't have to be at the expense of all their ribbing, "What, he is. Underneath that cocky hacker exterior, he really is kind. He reminds me a lot of my father."
Alex stopped laughing to regard Sonya seriously. She didn't doubt her words. There were moments when Birkhoff was a really good guy. It was simply rare for the hacker to mention her family. Hardly anyone on the team talked about their lives before they found one another inside Division. If they did, it was funny childhood memories or stupid little anecdotes. They weren't prone to mention the painful events of their past, especially when they had built a new family around them. However, when old lives were mentioned or even considered, they had to be explored- if only to continue letting their friends inside their hearts, "You don't talk about your family a lot. Did they die before you were grabbed by Division?"
"Yes. While I was studying abroad in Oxford, things got bad back home. I couldn't return and my student visa expired, so I ran to the States. You know the rest from there," Sonya shrugged. It was a long time ago; she didn't feel the need to go into it further. Seymour knew the full story, which was good enough for her. And the team knew about how she was recruited into Division because of her hacks and how no one cared about an illegal immigrant. In the grand scheme of things, that was all that mattered. She had moved past her grief and moved on from her trauma. Her life in the present and her future ahead was what was important.
"It's a good thing we found a new home and a new family, right?" Smiling, Alex understood exactly where Sonya was coming from. They might have both ended up in America against their will and following such tragedy, yet they had survived it. And finding their team seemed to have been the best thing to ever come out of all that pain. Not only was it proof that they could find a lot of love and joy after being hurt and torn apart time and time again. But also, they discovered that they were never alone. Someone out there would always care for them and understand them. So Sonya was right, they didn't need to focus on their pasts. The present they fought for was perfect enough.
"Yeah. If Nikki's plan doesn't kill us all," Birkhoff just had to interrupt the sweet moment, however. He was kind of feeling out of the loop as he continued working and the others had stopped to talk. Well, Nikita and Michael had eventually refocused; but with how close they were sitting it was hard to tell. Besides, it was about time somebody reiterated how insane their current plan was. Barkhoff drifting from person to person for pets and the occasional throw of a toy helped to ground the team here and there. Except, they needed something far more substantial, like a biting quip of sarcasm, to relax around.
"Nope. Just you," Quick with a reply, Nikita perked up from behind her computer. She and Birkhoff stared mock daggers at one another, until she broke the glare by throwing a pen at him. The nerd was a little over dramatic when he was struck, but the team's laughter around him made up for it. It was a blessing they had learned to lighten up while they were planning and scheming. It was easy to get weighed down by contingencies and terrible what ifs. Yet taking breaks, no matter how short, to relieve their stress helped them keep pushing forward. And sometimes, they were able to create new ideas.
"Name your kid after me, and we're even," Not so much that time, however. Birkhoff presented his condition, thinking he had Nikita beat. He figured she would roll her eyes or remark how her dog was already named after him, and that would be the end of it. Except, she managed to one up him once again. As if the image of naming her baby either 'Seymour' or 'Lionel' caused her to be sick, Nikita picked up the wastebasket under the desk and gagged into it. Michael was the first to burst into laughter, soon followed by Sonya and Alex. It was only when the fake gagging turned into real coughs as though she had triggered her morning sickness with that stunt, did Birkhoff laugh. She had brought it on herself, no questions about it.
Although the team drifted back to work, bouncing ideas off of one another and clarifying some confusions, small taunts and jokes continued to float between them. Those comments battled away anxiety and stress, allowing them to focus on their important tasks at hand. At some point, however, Sonya couldn't stop thinking about Alex's comment regarding family. Maybe it was something someone said or did that caused it. Or, it was just the comforting feeling that settled around the room. Either way, she glanced at her team with a heartwarming grin and said, "We sure are a fun family."
That comment would hold them over through their next outrageous adventure.