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After Anne closed the door Gilbert stood there, in the towel, absolute shock in his features. What had happened? He heard a noise and saw that there was still a call with a foreign number. Honestly?!
"What in the fucking hell are you thinking calling like that, Winifred? What freaking thought crossed your twisted mind? Was I not clear enough yesterday? I am telling you, Winifred, keep the bloody hell out of my life and don't even think of talking to Anne ever again! What the fuck did you tell Anne? What kind of twisted, manipulative comment did you even spat?"
"Gil, chill out, I just put that girl in her place, she lost the plot, clear and simple! She's still arse-over-tit with you, can you believe how preposterous is that idea? It's appalling!" Winifred said, not missing a beat, her voice in exactly the same posh accent she had sported all the way back to 2010.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Gilbert spat.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, darling. She'll get over you, she's infra dig for you. I've told you over and over again, luv. So, I was calling you ab…"
"Winifred, do you even have working ears? Get the fuck out of our lives. Leave her alone. Don't mention her. Don't even think about her. I still can't believe at some point I went out with you but good god, what a waste! Please, stop whatever twisted mental plot you have in mind and let us live our lives in happiness and peace! Fuck!"
"Oh dear, this conversation is going pear shaped. Listen, darling, I can call you back when you're calm… say, half an hour? I really need to sort out the tickets."
"Bloody hell, woman! There's no tickets to sort out! I don't care where you live or work in the world as long as it's far away from me, get it? I am never getting back to you, I am happy with Anne. She's the one person I have ever loved and you're not fucking meddling again! So stay the fuck off!" Gilbert insisted, the mental block he'd had all week finally lifted. How daft did you have to be?!
"So you're telling me you actually want to be with that tramp?" she asked, her voice a mix of skeptical surprise and disgust.
"She's not a tramp, Winifred. She's the most spectacular, loving and caring person on this planet and it's all you should ever aspire to be," Gilbert answered, his tone icy. "Why are you even doing this, Winifred? What kind of existence for you have to led to mess with people's lives on the other side of the Atlantic in the middle of a fucking pandemic?"
"Gilbert, I think you're overreacting, darling! Clearly it's not like that, it's…"
"Don't even continue that. You're talking like you're a teen and it's been ten years. A decade, Winifred. Haven't you matured any in that time? Or are you that miserable that you can't see two people happy? Fucking hell! How do you live with yourself?"
"Gilbert, I…"
"Winifred, you live in England. England is swamped by this virus. You're supposed to be a doctor, as far as I understand. How do you even have time for these machinations? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever!" She was about to reply, but he wasn't about to listen to any of her ridiculous excuses. He needed to go find Anne. And to dress. As she began to speak, he interrupted her. "Don't ever call or contact me again. And don't even think about contacting Anne. I have to go and explain this shit to her."
He hung up, not even waiting for an answer. He tried calling Anne a couple of times but he always got voicemail. He dressed quickly but then stopped at the door. Where could she be? The forest again? Somewhere else? How could everything have turned so bad?! He was going back to the sofa as his phone buzzed.
**Fred (11:09): Anne's here. She's safe.
"How is she?" was the first thing Gilbert asked as Fred received his call.
"Bad shape, mate. She hasn't said anything. What happened? Did you talk with her?"
"Winifred called while I was showering. I have no idea what she told Anne. Can I please speak with her? I think her phone is off… What do you mean bad shape?"
"She went to have a nap. She's exhausted. Arrived with low sugar, had a panic attack… Bad, Blythe. Bad," Fred explained, his voice clipped.
"Fuck. I really need to speak with her, Freddie. It's Winifred we're talking about, as far as I know she may have just told Anne we're engaged."
"Give her a couple of hours to breathe? At the very least to sleep, honestly, and then come. It's true you both have to work this through," Fred insisted. Gilbert heard a door sliding and knew Fred was probably outside in the backyard. "How are you feeling?"
"Like the biggest idiot in the world," Gilbert said, his voice low and shaky. "I was going to speak with her about this after breakfast, you know? Following your advice? But then somehow Winifred called and I missed it. It didn't even occur to me, that she would somehow have my number. I… I can't lose her, Freddie," he added, his voice breaking, feeling tears actually fill his eyes. "Not like this."
"We'll work on this, Gilbert," Fred said.
Anne paced up and down the guest bedroom and Fred's house, trying to decide what to do. He had suggested a shower and a nap, but she also needed to get her life in order. And she wouldn't be able to do so in Hamilton, or even in Ontario. She needed to be with her family. She turned on her phone, notifications of Gilbert's calls flooding the screen. She ignored them and marked another number.
"Hello, sis! How are you? How's the git you live with?" Jerry asked, the reference making Anne sob. All the tears she had been containing exploded at once. "Anne? Sis? What's wrong, belle?"
"I… He…," she tried, but now that she had started crying she couldn't stop or talk through the sobs.
"Anne, talk to me, what's wrong? Are you ok? Are you hurt?"
"She… just.." she tried, but still didn't manage to put any words as she collapsed on the floor and hugged her knees.
"Vas-y, Anne, breathe. Allez. Try to calm," Jerry insisted, clearly distressed. She tried breathing as he continued saying soothing words. She cleaned her nose with the back of her hand. "Are you safe?" was the first thing he asked once she stopped sobbing.
"Y-yes," Anne stammered. But she needed to get away. Gilbert would come here and she didn't want to see him.
"Are you hurt?"
"No." She wasn't bleeding. Not out, at least.
"Is Gilbert hurt? Do you need to call for help?" Jerry asked, his voice urgent, prompting a new wave of sobs from Anne. "Anne? Do you need help?"
"N-no," she said amongst sobs.
"Goddam de bâtard what has that estie de con done now? Anne?" Jerry's tone shifted from absolute worry to mad as hell. Anne tried answering several times, but couldn't get a full sentence out.
"Wi-Winnifred," she finally managed to stammer.
"Bigre de chien! I'll kill him, I swear that I…"
"C-Can you… can you pick me?" she finally asked, feeling like a kid for even asking. But she needed to be with him. Jerry was her family. If she was losing a home, she needed to be with her family. That's the only thing her mind was telling her.
"Anne, I'm in Charlottetown. I can't go now, and even if I could I would get there tomorrow. Where are you?" Jerry said, his voice tense.
"At Fred's. I can't stay here, Jerry. He's Gilbert's friend. He'll come here. I need you. Please. Pick me up," she insisted.
"Let me make a call. I'll call you back in a minute," Jerry said before hanging up. She stood up, feeling aches in every muscle, and dragged herself to the bathroom, letting the warm stream engulf her. She came back as her phone was buzzing. Cole.
"Nana, what happened? Jerry just called me, to pick you up at Fred's? Where's that?" Cole asked her, worried.
"I can send you my location," she said quietly, not wanting to cry again. It was better to feel numb. "Can you pick my stuff at Gilbert's before?"
"Nan, what is going on?"
"Please, Cole?"
"Nana," Cole insisted, his voice stern.
"He's back with Winifred."
"Like hell he is. Gilbert has only had eyes for you in fifteen years. Where are you getting this idea from?"
"Winifred herself," she mumbled, the knot on her throat appearing again.
"And you're actually believing that bitch? What did Gilbert say, Nan?"
"He didn't. I went out."
"You need to speak with him, Nana. There's no way you're believing her without hearing him out. You can live with us, that will always be an option, but I won't let you go without at least hearing what he has to say for himself," Cole said firmly. "Send me your location. I'll be on my way. I'll go over to your place before to get you something to wear, but you'll speak with him before you come with me. This doesn't make any sense."
She curled in bed to sleep. Maybe time would go faster and when she woke up Cole would be there already.
Cole arrived at Gilbert's apartment relatively quickly, not much traffic on the highway on Saturday morning. Not knowing very well what to do, he buzzed the number.
"It's Cole," he said when he heard Gilbert's voice on the other end. There was a buzz and he entered the building, walking over to Gilbert's apartment where he was already at the threshold, eyes red from crying. "Gilbert, what on earth happened?"
"Winifred coming back from the dead. Cole, I…"
"Come, let's get inside," Cole said, frowning in worry at Gilbert's appearance. Gilbert followed him to the kitchen and received the glass of water he was handed. "What is this thing with Winifred? Are you actually talking to that bitch again?"
"Of course I'm not. She wrote to me over the week. I turned her down. Yesterday I blocked her because she is honestly mental, Fred helped me do that. And today she somehow called me while I was in the shower and Anne picked up the phone," Gilbert explained. Cole frowned. "Cole, I don't know what she told Anne. But I swear I would never seek her out. Or talk with her out of my own will just to make conversation. Even less be with her, I just want Anne in my life," his voice cracked and he swallowed, fighting back tears at the sole prospect of Anne out of his life again.
"She seems convinced you're back with her," Cole commented. Gilbert looked at him, frowning. "I don't believe her. I actually think you both need to speak. But she's crushed, Gilbert. Jerry called me."
"I know. I spoke with Fred. He told me to hold off a couple of hours so she could sleep. That was… about an hour ago. I'm going mental, Cole. I need to talk with her and explain this. Why would she even believe anything Winifred has to say? After everything we've gone through this year?"
"It's Anne. She's still insecure. Especially when Winifred is concerned." They stayed in silence for a few minutes. "I'm supposed to be picking up her stuff," Cole said and Gilbert looked at him, feeling he was breaking inside. "I'm not doing it, mind you. I came to talk with you and bring her a change of clothes, because I'm pretty sure she'll need something. I think you two should talk. If it comes to that… Well, I will, but first you both need to talk this through. We all are not going to stand by for another ten years for you to figure your shit out. I'll lock you both in a room if I have to, I'm not above that."
"Right…"
"Have you eaten anything? You are horribly pale," Cole said. Gilbert shook his head. He had no appetite. Rolling his eyes, Cole opened the fridge and rummaged in Anne and Gilbert's fridge, taking some of the previous night's leftovers. He served some under Gilbert skeptic stare and put them in the microwave. "You are eating. I won't drag you along if you're hungry. So, where are her clothes?"
"In the bedroom," Gilbert mumbled. Cole nodded and disappeared into the room. The time of the microwave went off.
"Eat! I'll put some order here," his friend called from the other room. Gilbert did as ordered and sat on the island, moving food from side to side. Cole arrived not five minutes later, a small stack of clothes folded neatly under his arm. "I said eat, Gilbert. Like finish that off. Let me write to Fred and see if we can head over. Or if I can even get you to tag along."
Gilbert ate dutifully as Cole texted back and forth with Fred, leaving Anne's things on the island. The sight of them and all they implied making his stomach knot. He wasn't enjoying the food that last night had been so great, but Cole was right. He did need to eat something. He looked for a painkiller after, his head hurting with the stress.
"Ready? Fred says you can tag along, but we're leaving it to Anne to decide to talk with you. He says we can't actually force her. I would still ask her to listen to you, I can't believe she's believing that… Anyway, she's meeting with that therapist of hers," Cole explained, heading to the door. Gilbert nodded. That was better than nothing. "One thing, Gilbert," he said suddenly, as he put on his shoes.
"What?"
"You're not proposing over this. She deserves better. Not a memory tainted with a fight and Winifred."
"Why are you even telling me this? Of course I'm not doing that," Gilbert replied, mildly offended.
"Fred said your ring is ready," Cole explained and Gilbert felt his heart skip a beat. He needed to get this right. Their whole lives depended on him managing to explain to Anne how this was a misunderstanding. Again . They went into Cole's car as Gilbert's phone rang. Jerry Baynard . Shit. He thought about ignoring the call, but that would certainly do no good.
"Hey, Jerry," he said, measuring his voice. Cole looked at him, surprised, and Gilbert made a worried expression.
"You listen to me, you eujass de marde," Jerry spat, forgoing all greetings. "I've been trying to calm down for the best of two hours but it's just not possible. I warned you not to mess with Anne, you sorry excuse of a man! Ventraiche de baleine, quelle… How the fuck do you even explain yourself?! I had my sister call me sobbing, you face de tchou like she's not done in years and she says you're back with … cette grosse dose de marde, Winifred? Gâchette de helle, Blythe?!"
"Jerry, if… if you allow me to talk, please?" Gilbert asked, exasperated, his hand shooting to the back of his neck. There was a second pause. "I'm not with Winifred. I never would be. She's been trying to get in touch but I have blocked her and it did-"
"Foure toi les dans l'chu, Blythe! Si c'était vrai… If whatever marde you're telling is even half truth she wouldn't have called in that state! It's my sister, she was finally doing well, d'ia marde!" Gilbert blinked, never before having heard Jerry this furious.
"I am telling the truth," Gilbert said slowly, trying to keep his calm, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "She left before I could say even one word, Jerry! Do you really think so little of me, that I would do this to her? I love her!"
"Did she call you sobbing, you bigre de chien?!"
"She won't answer my calls, Jerry! Look, I am not even talking to Win-" Gilbert tried again, but Jerry interrupted him, his voice still harsh and loud.
"Goddams de bâtard, d'ia marde! Blythe how do you even expect me to believe that?!"
"Shit! Jerry, will you just fucking listen!" Gilbert exclaimed, losing patience. Cole looked at him briefly as he continued driving, but returned his sight to the road. "She tried to contact me. I tried to be polite and distant. It didn't work and I freaking blocked her and thought that would be the end of it. But damn that bitch somehow still has my number. Because it's still the same old number. She called this morning while I was showering. I have no idea what shit she told Anne. All I know is it was not true. It couldn't be."
"Gâchette de helle, Blythe! Why is my sister crying her eyes out? You were supposed not to hurt her again!"
"Bloody hell, Jerry, I didn't hurt her! Fucking Winifred did! Shit, can't you tell the difference between two people?! I'm not her, I'm not responsible for whatever nonsense she may have told Anne, I just need to speak with her to explain this situation so we can get it straight!" Gilbert said, his tone firm. He breathed, before continuing in a more quiet tone, the firmness still present, as Jerry didn't interrupt him again. "I love her, I don't want her to suffer any more than you do. I want her to be happy, and she was so happy these past few weeks, Jerry. But I need to talk with her and for her to fucking trust me and not run away like she does at every little problem!"
"And how exactly do you plan on doing that, Blythe? She's intent on never seeing you again, sacarjé, she called me to pick her up as if I could do it! And I would, marde, if I wasn't stuck all the way here!"
"What?" Gilbert asked, feeling the air kicked out of him. Cole taking stuff for her was hard enough, but she would be in Toronto, they would figure something out given time. But going back to PEI? Was it really that black or white? "Jerry, I want to fix this shit. I want to talk to her, not for her to leave our home."
"What do you mean your home?" Jerry asked, clearly taken aback.
"As in our home. Hers and mine. We are… Fuck, Jerry. She really can't be planning to go back to PEI without even listening," Gilbert said, his voice cracking again and Cole giving him a pat on the leg, trying to reassure him.
"Well it's what she told me, Blythe."
"Please, Jerry. Please, help me to get her to listen to me. To at least listen," Gilbert pleaded with him, not quite believing it was coming to this. He heard Jerry sigh on the other side of the line as he messed with his hair.
"You're actually serious about not speaking to Winifred?"
"Why on earth would I joke about that? Put what I have with Anne at risk?"
"And you're serious about your relationship with her?"
"There's no way I could be more serious," Gilbert confirmed.
"There are ways," Jerry scoffed.
"Listen, Jerry. It's not the moment to talk about that. Where this any other day, it would. Today I'm just focused on talking to Anne and explaining this mess. So, can you help me? You know as well as I do she will listen to you."
"You even cross a hair out of line, Blythe, and you'll regret it," Jerry said, hanging up. Gilbert sighed, closing his eyes.
"Everything was so perfect, Cole," he said, his spirits as low as ever, anxious and in a bad mood.
"We'll help you, Gilbert. It doesn't make sense, this whole situation," Cole said, "Now, tell me where to turn because the location Anne sent me is not very accurate."
"To the right two roads from now," Gilbert said, not having thought about how Cole knew where he was driving until then. "The old brick house."
"Now, before we get down. Let me speak with her. She really is distressed, Gilbert. This… from her perspective, right this moment, this day represents pretty much the worst case scenario in life ever. The confirmation of all her fears," Cole said, making Gilbert's chest contract in dread. "So it's not something to be dismissed. Let me go, explain to her enough so she will listen to you and we'll take it from there, ok?"
They got out of the car as Fred opened the door. Gilbert had been waiting for Bear to run out, but he was absent, which was odd enough on its own. They entered, Cole heading straight upstairs to where Fred was signaling and Gilbert stood in the living room, not even knowing how to stand. Probably a first in Fred's house.
"You look like shit," Fred said.
"I wish I felt like shit. It has to feel better than this," Gilbert answered. "How is she?"
"Calmer. Bear is with her and she must be about to finish her appointment with Patel… I know you told me some stuff about Winifred, but how bad could this be so she's in this state, Blythe? It seems so… blown out of proportion, somehow," Fred asked, going to the kitchen and turning on the kettle. Gilbert followed him.
"I don't know what she told her, Fred. I'm afraid to even think about it. She's manipulative and knows how to hurt Anne," Gilbert said softly. Because Winifred knew. She always had. And he had realized only too late, back in 2010.
"This is not only coming from today. It has to have some root. Earl grey or chai?"
"Chai, thanks," Gilbert said, sitting on the stool, resting his forehead on his arm. He heard the sound of the cup against the quartz countertop and then Fred's hand on his back. "I only knew in May that Anne saw us in the forest, back in Avonlea."
"And that matters because..?"
"Because I only ever took Winifred to the forest to have sex," Gilbert said, sitting more straight. "So if Anne saw us… That's what she saw. She didn't say it in as many words, but there's no other way. Winifred was not one for foreplay or cuddling, it was straight to it and then go back, she was too afraid of getting dirty."
"Fuck."
"Yes. So… yes, I didn't know she knew that, before. And it makes sense it makes this way more sensitive. On top of everything else, that is. And I'm not putting it beyond Winifred mentioning something about that to Anne. I mean, you saw her messages."
"She's mental."
"She is. God, I just want to head up and talk with her," Gilbert said, looking longingly at the stairs. "I just don't get how she can listen to whatever shit Winifred has come up with and believe her rather than talking with me. Can she trust me so little, Fred?"
"She's very insecure in everything related to this subject, that's one thing," Fred said. "And from what I gather, this has been a recurring thing… a recurring fear for her. It's not rational, Blythe. What she's doing isn't. It looks more like confirmation bias, if I had to say anything. She's just seeing what she needs to see to confirm her fears and ignore everything that contradicts it. It's not a conscious train of thought. Same as you haven't been all that rational about this thing either."
"I don't even know what got me. I may not know how to block people, but I have certainly told women off for years and here I was…" he trailed off. He still felt stupid. Even more now. "Why couldn't I give a firmer reply, Fred?"
"I don't know, Blythe," Fred replied, preparing both teas and sitting on the stool next to him. "One guess is… she does represent a traumatic time in both your lives. One irrational reaction you could have had was being defensive and violent, another… just the opposite. Which is what I think happened. But I can't be sure, you've hardly told me about your relationship with her in all the time I've known you, and… Well, I just don't have that much information."
"It's not something I want to relive, believe me," Gilbert mumbled, considering Fred's words. "I went with the… violent side, this morning. When I saw she was still in the call after Anne left."
"Did you? I didn't mean like either of those were good options, Blythe. There are other ways to manage…."
"I'm not saying the way I talked to her was right," Gilbert said, interrupting him. "I'm just saying, you might be on a better track than you think," he added, sighing. They stayed in silence as they drank the tea. "Do you think she'll let me talk with her today?"
"With any luck. I guess between Cole, Patel and me we can try."
"Jerry called me as well. Gave me the tongue-lashing of the century and I only understood half of it. All of the sentiment, though."
"French?"
"Chiac. He slips easily when he's unsettled. Especially for swearing. I don't know what any of it means, but the spirit I get. I managed to get him to understand. I think he'll tell her to listen, but… I'm not sure. He hung up before saying anything."
"Well, pray that he's on your side. She looks up to him," Fred said. They stayed in silence for a moment.
"Any suggestions you have if she agrees to talk with me? On how to broach the subject?"
"Don't judge. Don't jump to conclusions. Really listen, as in not think about what you're going to say while she speaks. Don't use never or always. Just… Try to stick to the facts of what happened and try to understand her position. It might not make sense to you and you may think she's overreacting. But the thing is, in her reality, she's not. She's had it tough and she's apprehensive of anything related to Winifred. As much as I hate to tell you, this is not really about you or her trusting you or anything. It's about them two."
"But why can't she trust me, Fred? To at least listen?"
"Maybe she will. She's not acting rationally, Blythe. She's reverting back to the patterns she had when Winifred was around the first time. So try to keep that in mind and don't judge," he added.
"Hey, Fred," Gilbert said after another moment. "Can you… can you help me block Winifred? I mean you helped me on Instagram… But I just don't want to leave any loose ends. Can you block a phone number? Is that even possible?"
"I believe it is. Let's check," Fred said, and they tinkered with Gilbert's phone for a few minutes and brainstormed about everywhere Gilbert could have a profile- from linked-in to medical platforms, they blocked Winifred everywhere (even if they weren't even contacts on any of those sites). Fred turned to look at the clock on the stove. "Let me go upstairs and see how it's going, ok? Wait for us here."
"Hey Fred," Gilbert called him. His friend turned at the bottom of the stairs. "Where's Ella?" He could really use to talk to her. And it was unusual she hadn't said anything or even greeted..
"Up north. At her grandma's. Went out early this morning, she's staying for a couple of weeks," Fred explained, his tone exasperated. Gilbert knew how tense were the relations with Ella's family and he just nodded. With all this situation… There was no need to rile Fred up on that as well.
"Hey, Cordelia" Fred said softly, going into the room. Cole was sitting on the bed, Anne curling beside him with her head on his lap as he stroked her hair. "How are you feeling now?"
"Better, I guess," she said, feeling tired, her head hurting from crying. He sat on the armchair opposite to the bed. "I know why you're here. I don't want to see him. Not yet."
"What would make you feel better now?"
"Just going away, Fred," she said, closing her eyes.
"And how would you feel tomorrow about that, Nan?" Cole asked after a moment, still stroking her hair.
"Same as today, I guess," Anne mumbled after a moment.
"How would that help you then?"
"I don't know. It will pass. With time. It did pass last time," she said, fighting back tears.
"Why don't you listen to him, Nana? Listen to what he has to say, and then you decide. You can go to my place after if you still want to, but listen to him first. So you can get some closure, at the very least," Cole proposed again.
"I don't want to. It hurts. He's with her now and…"
"I told you, Anne, that's shit," Cole interrupted her. "He's not with her and he will not get back with her. Please, listen to him."
"Anne, I understand you are hurt by this situation," Fred said, looking at her eyes. "Tell us about it. Let us be here for you."
"I just can't believe he is talking with her, that all he has told me all these months was a lie. That he went as far as making me feel at home only to rub it in my face once I was finally comfortable. Do you think they planned it like this? Or was it supposed to go on longer?"
"You are saying that Gilbert and Winifred planned to set you up for heartbreak?" Fred paraphrased, his voice as calm as ever, and Anne nodded. "I don't think so, Anne."
"But then what were they expecting? Why did he get involved with me at all? It just hurts too much, Fred. It's like having this hole inside. I fought all these months to cover it and now it's open again."
"I don't think they're expecting anything, Anne. Not as a team. I can't know about Winifred- I have never spoken with her. But the only thing Gilbert is expecting now is to talk with you to make this better," Fred said calmly. Anne shook her head.
"He isn't. He just wants to rub it. Cole, can we go, please?"
"Anne, you really should listen to him. At least listen, then we go," Cole insisted. Anne shook her head again.
"I just want it not to hurt. And seeing him will make it hurt more."
"Seeing him might hurt, Anne. But only until you have this conversation. What is the worst that can happen? If everything hurts so much already, what is the worst scenario?"
"That it hurts more, Fred," Anne said, closing her eyes as more tears ran down her cheek. Bear put his head on her leg, yawning.
"May I ask something, Anne?" he waited until she nodded. "Why are you giving this much power to Winifred? Why is what she said more valuable than what Gilbert can explain?"
"She… she…," Anne stammered, not finding a logical reason, a knot tightening in her throat. She shook her head. "I don't give her power. She already has it. She's with…"
"She's not with Gilbert, Anne!" Cole interrupted her, and she bit her lip.
"She is! Said so herself! He didn't even deny it when I gave him his phone!" she said, getting up, cleaning her nose with the tissue Cole had given her before.
"Anne, you are saying that he didn't deny it, but did Gilbert admit it? Had he any idea of the conversation you were having with her? Did any word come out of his mouth confirming anything about Winifred? Has he done anything in the past months that makes you think he can be with her?"
"Well, no, but he didn't say anything to contradict it either!" Anne insisted. "Please, Cole, can we just go?" Cole looked at Fred, not knowing what to do. They couldn't push Anne to talk to Gilbert, not really. Locking them in a room was not really a wise idea. Fred's shoulder slumped slightly on defeat.
"Anne, what evidence do you have not to trust Gilbert?" Fred asked, trying to choose his words carefully.
"He left before! He has done it before, why won't he do it again?" she said, recalling those years all the way back. "He went with her then, why wouldn't he go again now? I'm just disposable for him!"
"You're not disposable, Anne. For him or for anyone. You are valued and cherished. I understand you are insecure," Fred said, his voice calm. "And that because of that, you're looking at the worst case scenario here. It hurts. So much. You've been through this and you don't want a repeat performance, and you feel this situation is just that. Going over the same. But can you remember a time where you knew you could trust Gilbert? In the past few months?"
Of course she could. When she had had that bad breakdown. When he had talked to her about Lincoln. When they first had sex… or all the ways that led up to it, really. When they had spoken in that park midway to Montreal. When he had insisted so much for her to consider his apartment a home. When…
"Can you remember that? Can you think about those times, Anne?" Fred asked softly. She bit her lip again. She had done that so much over the morning that the skin was broken and it tasted faintly of blood. "I see you really don't want to talk with him today. Of course, we will never force you," he said. Anne relaxed slightly, the doom of having to face Gilbert right in that moment being taken. "But may I ask you to think about these moments until you're ready to talk with him? Write about them, if you prefer. Go over them. See if there is anything that could be an indication of him going behind you, of him wanting to hurt you. Of him making something to lose your trust. Can you do that, Anne?" she nodded. "Ok, then. Will you let us know when you're ready to talk with him?"
"I don't want to talk with him. I just want to go," she said. Fred nodded.
"You don't want to talk with him. I understand that. But if anything changes at another time, and you do want to see him, will you let us know?" he asked. "Please?"
"Ok, but don't get your hopes up," Anne conceded. Fred nodded again and got up.
"I'll go down and explain it to him. I'll bring him to the backyard so you can go out the front door, if you prefer not to see him. Allow me five minutes, please. If you change your mind and want to speak with him, you know where he will be, Anne," Fred said. He went and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "This is a hard time, but you're strong and resilient, Anne. You always have been and you will come out of this, ok?" she nodded, resting her head on Cole's shoulder. Fred went out of the room, Bear following him after shaking and stretching.
"You really won't to speak with him, Nana?" Cole asked, worried. He hadn't brought that many things with him confident of the whole nonsense getting sorted out. She shrugged. They waited in silence until Cole moved and they went quietly down the stairs.
"Mate," Fred called him. Gilbert looked up, he had been playing with his empty cup trying to muster whatever patience he could.
"Is she…"
"Come," Fred said, opening the door to the backyard. Gilbert stood up and followed him, a horrible feeling on the base of his stomach. They sat on the stairs of the deck. He looked at his friend expectantly. "She doesn't want to talk to you today," his voice calm, looking Gilbert in the eyes.
"What?" Gilbert mouthed, his eyes aghast. Fred sighed.
"She's feeling insecure and hurt, Gilbert. She will come around," Gilbert tried to get up and Fred held him, bringing him back to the step. "Give her space, Blythe. Forcing it won't solve it. Sit."
"Fuck!" Gilbert exclaimed loudly, holding his head in hands, grabbing his hair.
"We are going to wait a few days. I gave her some things to think about. Give her time," Fred added, punctuating every word in the last sentence. Gilbert shook his head. They stayed in silence for a minute.
"Fuck, I can't believe this is actually happening. It doesn't make any sense," Gilbert said, his jaw clenched and his voice tight. Fred didn't say anything, just giving him a half hug. They didn't say anything else and stayed in silence.
"Gilbert?" they heard Anne say from the door. Her voice was soft and sad. Gilbert stood up immediately, looking at her. The red eyes, the messy hair. "Can we talk?" Fred had just… Had she changed her mind, then? She... she actually wanted to talk? He felt relief and gratefulness flood him. If only she would listen to him, maybe they could fix this.
"I'll leave you guys, I'll go inside with Cole. If you need anything, we'll be in the living room," Fred explained. Gilbert nodded. The living room, that didn't have windows to where they were. He went to where Anne was standing and squeezed her arm gently, looking at her. "You're very strong, Anne," he said in a low voice, his eyes kind, before going inside and closing the door behind him. Anne moved one, two steps. They stayed in silence for a moment. He didn't dare move towards her.
"I love you, Anne-girl," he finally said. Because it boiled down to that. She didn't say anything and just kept staring at him, doubt in her eyes, and so he felt like he could keep talking. "I… I have no idea of what Winifred may have told you. All I know is that, if she made any reference to us being together… It's not true. Please, allow me to explain?"
Anne looked at him, Winifred's words coming back to her mind. How she sounded so sure. How she said they were sharing medical information. How it seemed to be a certainty that she was with Gilbert. But there again, there was what Fred, Cole, Patel… and even Jerry were telling her. Jerry! Of all people! She bit her lip, wincing slightly as it hurt.
"What happened, Gilbert?" she finally asked. How could she know who to trust? How? She thought about what Fred had asked upstairs. And she could remember so, so many times where she had felt in her bones she could trust Gilbert with all of herself. But so she had felt that before, when they were teens . He looked heartbroken, his eyes as red as hers felt, and he motioned for her to go over. She walked and sat on the stairs. He sat next to her, but gave her some space. He knew she would want it.
"A couple of weeks ago, Winifred started liking my photos on instagram," he began. If he was going to explain, he was going to explain the whole thing. Not leaving anything out. Anne looked at him, thinning her eyes.
" Weeks?! " she said, stunned.
"Yes. Weeks. Please, allow me to explain, Anne-girl…" he said, sighing. She didn't say anything else, or acknowledged him in any way, so he continued talking. "She only liked some photos and I tried not to pay any attention. Because she has been out of my life for so long, and I have absolutely no interest in her coming back. So I ignored that and didn't want you to worry unnecessarily, so I… never mentioned it. I feel stupid now, because probably if I had said something then we wouldn't be in this situation."
"Yeah, right," she said, the sarcasm so evident it made Gilbert's insides clench.
"I swear, Anne… I understand now I managed this poorly, but it truly was with the best of intentions. So she liked pictures and I ignored her. Eventually she commented on a post, then on another. That was… I don't know, at the beginning of this week. Nothing much. I just ignored them, thought it a passing fancy, nothing worth taking seriously. Again, I didn't acknowledge it. I didn't reply, I didn't do anything," he continued. He had half a mind to show her, just so she could see he was actually telling the truth.
Anne looked at the tree in front of them, not averting her eyes. What he said… she wanted to believe him. It was like him, trying to protect her even when it really wasn't necessary. But how could Winifred have known… She said so many things! They had a plan! Didn't they? He sighed.
"So… eventually, one day… I think Tuesday or Wednesday, she sent me a message," he said.
And Anne actually felt the weight of what that meant. They had really been talking for days. Maybe in that short time Gilbert had changed his mind about… everything? But there again, he had been the same he always was… Just with that horrid case from Monday that kept him looking for solutions most nights of the week. And preparing and updating the lessons he had started giving some weeks back, and she knew getting on that routine was a whole job on its own. He wasn't dealing with kids, but he was teaching some medicine related stuff that meant he was teaching how to save lives . Sounded way more stressful than teaching how to read.
"So you replied because she's an old chum?" she couldn't help but ask. Because the way he was telling it, it made sense that they hadn't been talking and she had been contacting him more and more. But why not ignore her again, then? If that's what he'd been doing all the time? Why not block her if he really didn't want anything to do with her?
"I…" Gibert began, frustrated. Because he couldn't help but be the polite guy his father had made him be, but clearly, he had done wrong. He sighed. "I didn't reply because she's an old chum, as you say. Anne, I don't want anything to do with her. So I gave a polite reply and closed the conversation." She scoffed. Only him would think about being polite. "She insisted, and if I didn't reply, then she kept writing and writing and… It's stupid, I know. But remember the case I have been dragging the whole week?"
"Yes, what does that has to…"
"So, I wrote to other hospitals. None had any answers, and so I wrote to different contacts overseas to see if maybe… And I was already writing to everyone I could think of. The cancer this kid has, Anne… I had never seen it. It is extremely rare. There are no protocols for treatment, and not even clinical trials because there are so few cases it really doesn't make sense, until you have a patient. So I thought, since I was already writing to everyone I could think of… Why not ask her? If anything good could come out of this? Her father is an oncologist as well, so maybe…"
"And she sent you the stem cell thing?" Anne said. Gilbert frowned, nodding. He still didn't know what Winifred had told Anne, but clearly, she had given her enough details ( real details) so that she had been able to plant some doubt in her.
"She did. It… helped a little bit. Hasn't solved anything, mind you, but gave a pointer. And I thought that would be all and so I continued to mostly ignore her messages. She can be… intense," he explained. Anne huffed. "So that's why I was talking to her. Not because I sought her out, not because I want to talk with her, nothing like that, Anne. I don't want her in my life. I just want you. I want us."
"But why… Why is she so sure about you being with her?" she asked, her voice still fragile. How could Winifred be so sure if there wasn't a thread of truth in the whole thing?
"Because she is mental. I swear, she has to have some mental condition, this is not normal," Gilbert said, shaking his head. "Or she's pure evil. I don't know. So while I was thinking everything was done and I could go back to… ignore her, for lack of better words, she started sending more and more…" he trailed off, trying to think how to describe her messages from the previous day. "She wrote some really crude stuff, Anne. I told her I wasn't interested and to refrain from making such comments, but… that seemed to lead her on. Super counter-intuitive. Especially yesterday. They're… nasty."
"What did she write?" she asked. He shook his head and swallowed.
"Some… sexual stuff. Very out of place," he finally said. "By then I talked with Fred, because honestly, I thought I was being polite and dismissive and clear about wanting nothing to do with her, but her messages were… As if I was leading her on? It didn't make sense. So I showed the whole thing to Fred, to get his opinion. I can… if you want, I can show them to you as well," he added, his voice low. Not really wanting. Anne looked at him.
"What did Fred say?" she asked instead. Because she trusted Fred's judgement in this.
"That she's mental and I was being obnoxiously polite," Gilbert said. "So he helped me write her another message telling her to basically stay out of my life, and then helped me block her, because I'm an idiot and way older than I look and I couldn't figure it out on my own."
"Gilbert, that's ridiculous," she chuckled, finding some weird humour in the situation.
"Don't tell me. So… yes, we blocked her. And he recommended I talk with you about this. This was… yesterday."
"Your birthday."
"And you had all this prepared… Dinner, friends, everything… I thought it could wait until today, you know? It didn't cross my mind she would still have my old number and she would call," he sighed, still mad at himself for that. She stayed in silence. They had been having a great time. The best, actually. It made sense for him not to break the night. But why not telling her before it got so out of hand? "I still have the conversation. I'd rather you not see it, because… It's explicit and rude, frankly. But if you need to see it, for whatever reason… I have it."
She thought about it for a moment. But then remembered her words.
"I don't think it will do you any good, Anne. I really don't think it will," Gilbert insisted. Because even if he could show her the chat… He would rather not. He didn't want Anne to see Winifred's comments on how they had sex on the forest. Or the words she used to describe what he knew was a sacred space of hers. They stayed in silence. Anne didn't say anything, thinking. "I don't know what Winifred told you, Anne," he admitted, his voice sad and frustrated. She swallowed, her eyes filling with tears, remembering all her comments. About Gilbert going to England. Them belonging together. How they had sex. How they were made for each other… Even after all Gilbert had just told her, it still stung. It still hurt. "I don't need you to tell me. Not unless you want to. I know her enough to know that, whatever she said, must have been either lies or distorted reality stories."
"It hurts," she accepted at the end, after a minute of silence, a tear going down her cheek. Gilbert extended a hand and squeezed one of hers, softly.
"I know. She has a knack for hurting people," he whispered, looking at her in the eyes. "It hurts for me as well. Seeing you like this. Seeing us in this situation."
They stayed in silence again, as Anne didn't comment anything and Gilbert didn't know how prudent it was to keep pushing. She thought about what all her friends, their common friends, had been telling her. If they all truly believed what Gilbert said to be true… why was she reluctant to listen to him? Even Jerry had insisted for her to listen to him! Jerry, who had called in the middle of her appointment with Patel! Gilbert sighed, and she looked at him. His hair a mess, his eyes so red they were competing with hers. A little pale, as if he hadn't eaten much. A little crouched, contrasting with his usual upright and confident stance. His hand still holding hers, his thumb caressing them gently.
"Would you come home with me?" he finally said. "The only thing I want is to fix this, for you to be happy, Anne-girl. Please," he said.
She wasn't completely sure. She did believe him, yes. She actually thought it wasn't beside Winifred to do all that. But, at the same time… There was something off. Something that hadn't been there before. She couldn't bring herself to just let this go quite yet. But she was willing to try, because… she was so certain that what they had was real, and bigger than this. It had to be. Right? She nodded softly, and Gilbert brought her closer to him, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. They would manage to overcome this.