"Hey!" Christopher answered his phone cheerily. They'd agreed Rory would take a few weeks to think about what he'd proposed, and he really hadn't expected to hear back form her this quickly.
"Hey, dad," she replied anxiously, as if wanting to get something off her chest. While essentially she was calling to tell him about her decision to agree to look after Gigi for him, what had driven her to do it at this particular moment was having watched a particularly sad movie - Jojo Rabbit - the topic of absent fathers having risen to the surface for herself as well. While there wasn't much of her life that had linked to the movie, she kept drawing parallels between her life and Gigi's. Gigi had had an absent mother for quite some time, then periods of Sherry trying to make it up to her, and then a father on another continent, and then in reverse - and now at age 16 she was going to be almost alone again pushed to grow up even faster than she needed to. While Rory had no doubt that this had made the girl resilient, perhaps even keeping her expectations of both her parents low to begin with, she didn't think anyone really deserved that.
"I was hoping you'd call," he admitted. He'd felt bad about springing his request on her, but Gigi was his weak spot. In so many ways he was getting a do-over with Gigi and he wanted to offer her everything he could. Financially he certainly did. But what he hadn't truly mastered was being present - but that with Gigi being a typical teenager who showed little interest in him these days, he hadn't quite realized himself.
"Listen, yeah, I just wanted to say that I don't think it's right for you to put yourself first in this. Sure, I don't know her as well as you do probably, but if I was her, if I was her age, I would just want my father to be there," Rory said, a glimpse of the past - how desperately she'd hoped to see him back when she was 16, how important it was to her and how much it hurt each time he failed her or when he just dissapeared again.
"Auch," Christopher reacted, rightfully so, Rory only really then realizing how harshly she'd put it. She'd almost thought they'd gotten past most of it by now, but clearly - some things were burried deep. And her hormones were definitely not making this easier.
She didn't reply, but tried to gather herself.
"Ror..," he began to say something, not quite getting his words together. "I'm sorry, Rory," he sighed. It was for a lot of things, but neither was sure if it was for everything - for everything Rory had missed or hurt because of and for everything Christopher considered himself liable for. Maybe they were never really going to see the other side of this?
"But if your decision is made, I would appreciate that you tell me as soon as possible, because we're going to be looking for a bigger place and I'd like to factor her in in that case," Rory added sternly. She wanted to raise above the past and do what could be done now.
"Rory, I'm going for sure, all the arrangements are already made. I already had an apartment booked for her, but if you feel you can take her in…," he breathed, trying to keep it together himself. This was more than he'd asked for, but he realized that he should've expected it - Rory never did things half-way, she would never let someone down like that. "I'd be forever grateful to you," he added. He really did mean it.
Rory could hear the sadness in his voice, but it wasn't as if either of them could do anything about it now.
"And I'd like to see her, talk to her," Rory said. "Maybe you could ask her to come to my babyshower. Mom is throwing it in a few weeks," she added. She hadn't seen her in more than year, the least she could do was as for her opinion.
"Sure, I'm sure she'd love to," he exhaled, feeling relieved and guilty at the same time.
Celeste arrived at the diner when the place was already beginning to close, only one of the young waitresses still mopping the floor. She shook some of the rain off the umbrella on the stairs before entering. The day full of abundant sunshine had suddenly transformed into pouring rain, lighting striking further away over Hartford. The wedding guest had not been terribly happy at their wedding photo plans being ruined, but thankfully Celeste had been quick thinking, the winter garden behind the pool having replaced the outdoor scenes, with an interestingly dramatic background of the dark sky adding to the special day of the brides in question.
"Sorry," she apologized to the waitress as she tiptoed in her soaking wet Jimmy Choos across the diner floor. So much for those shoes.
Despite having borrowed an umbrella from the Inn, her hair and the hem of her skirt were wet, and she couldn't wait to climb into a warm shower to warm up.
"Hey!" she sighed, sounding exhausted as she saw Jess drying up Evie after having attempted to improvise a bath from a large washing up bowl for her.
"Hey," he replied, while focusing his attention on Evie who struggled to stay still, exclaiming "Mommy!" at the same time.
She kissed the two in greeting. "God, I need a shower," she grumbled, and stepped out of her wet shoes.
"There should still be some hot water left," Jess cautioned, knowing too well himself that the boiler was not really meant for more than one person.
Jess had just gotten Evie in her pyjamas as he heard a sudden squeal form the bathroom some minutes later.
"You okay in there?" Jess called out.
"I think the hot water just ran out," she echoed, as she'd switched the water off. She was thankful for not having attempted to shampoo her hair.
Jess couldn't help but to chuckle slightly - that must've been a first for her.
No more than ten minutes later Jess found himself on the couch, attempting to re-read another chapter of his book, only the dim floor lamp lighting the room, but he could hardly pull his eyes away from Celeste, who was snuggled up with Evie on his old bed, quietly singing her one of her favourite nursery rhymes. He loved it when she spoke French, or sang it, to be exact - he hadn't heard her speak in years. It was easy to forget sometimes how large part of her origin really had been in her character - it was almost gone - or at least she didn't show it. He pondered what that must've felt like to be forced to exclude it from one's life.
"You coming to bed or are you going to read a bit?" Celeste asked quietly after Evie had dozed off.
"I'll be right there," he promised, making a mark in his chapters to recall later where he left off.
The bed was separated from the rest of the room just by a half-wall, a somewhat unusal situation for them to sleep in the same room with Evie. They both slipped under the covers, Jess wrapping his arm around her waist, having missed the feel of her. Rain still patterered against the window panes outside, and the bed felt like the best place to be that night.
"Are you happy you came?" he asked, having observed her carefully. She'd seemed happier he'd seen her in a long time - busy - in the best sense of the word.
"Definitely," she replied. Sure both days had had their challenges, but she'd love feeling a sense of purpose. People were different here - supportive, interested and less pretentious. She'd almost completely forgotten about the incident with Michel by now, somehow people seemed more innocent here, having decided to trust Lorelai's judgement on this. "What did you guys do today?" she inquired, having not really had a chance to catch up during the day until now.
"Played, napped, ate, played some more," he replied with a smirk.
"I remember those days," she recalled laughingly. While she had missed Evie and Jess painfully, she hadn't particularly missed the days she'd felt aimless. Now - just for a few days she'd had a purpose, a very concrete aim, even if it was just short term.
"You look good," he commented, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I feel good," Celeste assured. In fact she felt so good that for the first time she thought that maybe she didn't even need her meds. She wasn't going to stop though, having done her homework how devastating it could be if she did.
"Feel like celebrating that good feeling a little?" he suggested, his crooked smile almost devilish.
"She'll hear us," Celeste whispered, her fingers slowly tracing his neck and shoulder.
"I'm sure we can keep it down, besides, she's out like a rock, just listen to her breathe," he said quietly, the two of them holding their breaths for some seconds, hearing Evie's slow and steady breathing.
The silence was answer enough.
Celeste stretched out her neck, kissing him, her tongue slipping into his mouth. He could only sigh deeply. His fingers dug into her thighs pulling her closer, while the kiss carried. Soon he trailed from her lips to her neck and shoulder, and his hands pushed up her tank top to feel more of her. Celeste's head fell back, his touch feeling almost electric. How could someone feel that good after all these years?
Instead of a long foreplay, Celeste took the lead in slipping his boxers down just a little, running her palm over his shaft slowly, making his eyes fall shut. The teasing continued as she determinedly placed his erection between her thighs, the apex of her thighs already moist, making sure it stroked her in the right places. The very fact that she hadn't bothered with underwear under her long tank top spoke for itself. Sliding back and forth, slowly, delaying the actual entering the ministrations continued.
"Not so easy to keep quiet, eh?" she whispered teasingly, as she watched him struggle, clearly wanting to groan in anticipation.
While keeping up the gentle strokes, he leaned his neck downwards and pulled the neckline of her tank top down, grabbing one of her breasts and licking her nipple, gently biting it, almost causing her to moan. Instead she bit her lip and intertwined her fingers in his hair, pulling on them ever so slightly, making his nerve endings even sharper.
"Oh, I'll show you," he warned and kissed her deeply once more. He then grabbed her thighs and pulled her from her side to her back, while staying kneeling between her legs. Within seconds Jess was inside of her, the feeling of fullness overwhelming her. As he thrust, slamming againt her cervix, she felt the need to bite the edge of the pillow, not to make a sound.
It was like the perfect game of silence, breathing, panting and the low squeak of the bed, the goal being to drive either of them just close enough to want to moan but keep it in.
She'd been turned on since two nights ago, with his flirtatious texts, making her bite her lip and grin like a teenager at least five times a day, so it wasn't truly as surprising as the almost violent contractions indicated the orgasm flooding over her. After she came, he positioned himself on top of her, wanting to kiss her once more - her post-orgasmic flush over her skin being so tempting. Him still inside of her, the kiss lingered for a minute or so, only really allowing him to regain some endurance. He slowly began to move again, creating a rhythm of first slow and then fast, then slow again and repeat. It drove her insane and she wrapped her legs around his hips, wanting to contribute. The second time she came, he did too, Celeste feeling his member pulsate within her and the two moaned almost simultaneously into each-other's mouths, as quietly as they could. He laid on top of her for a little while longer, her loving to feel the weight of him.
"I love you so much," Celeste purred, wrapping her arms around him. She hadn't needed to say it - he knew. But there was so much that she was grateful for, how lucky she felt to have him - him and no-one else.
"I'd father your child and re-marry you any day of the week," he whispered with a grin.
"In that particular order, I'm sure," she chuckled quietly.
As Celeste, Jess and Evie drove home, it was somewhere along I-95, beginning to reach the city and hitting the Sunday traffic jams, Celeste began to ponder what was it really that she was driving to. Sure, she missed her own bed, her sleep having been shallow for the few last nights, no matter how hard she tried. But other than the therapy sessions, her pilates - there really was very little in New York that she'd moved there for. There was Rory and Logan, and she loved how the city always had something to discover - art, music and places - but with a kid in tow she didn't do that much discovering on most days. She had found a certain anonymity, while some areas of Manhattan she almost feared for the high likelihood of running into someone who might know her, and that still - years later. Though truth be told - she now knew there was often the random chance of running into someone like that like had happened with Michel.
She began thinking why was it New York not someplace, any place, else she'd chosen. She could've gone anywhere. Maybe she had been looking for the things she wanted in her life - the sense of community, belonging, feeling needed - in the wrong place?
"We should start thinking about Evie's preschool, I think we might be a little late already," Celeste said as they drove over Robert F. Kennedy Bridge, having suddenly recalled the discussion she'd had with Sarah, Lela and Heidi the other night.
"Any thoughts?" Jess asked.
"Honestly, not really. I probably should've put her on a list somewhere like the moment she was born," she replied. She hadn't really ever felt the urgent need to do it - having always thought that she'd probably have a live-in nanny at some point - but then the whirlwind of events had happened it hadn't seemed like a priority.
Jess knew this wasn't in her character - she was 'Mrs. Prepared'. But he did understand, she'd had other things on her mind.
"You know, once the work thing is sorted out, I could probably help out with Evie a few days a week. He wrote best at nights, and honestly, during the time Celeste had been away and like he had yesterday, he really did love hanging out with Evie. Maybe the draw was that is was so different form his day-to-day work, enabling him to really turn off that side of his brain.
"I'm sure she'd love it, but I think soon she might want some more company of kids her own age. Finny is great, sure, but I'm not sure that's enough," she replied. Evie already went to play group, where they'd learn some words, colors and things like that, and she herself definitely made sure, she lacked no age-appropriate simulation or exercise.
They continued to talk a little about their plans for next week, Jess planning to set up a more concrete plan to get Jenn introduced to his tasks and announce his news to the team. He felt strangely nervous, hoping it wouldn't cause additional drama.
She had no special plans besides the usual. She needed to finish up some things over the web with Noah, having begun to avoid him even more now. Still she wanted her book finished - he wasn't really sure that 'wanting to get this over with' feeling was what she had really looked for. But it felt stupid just to give up on it now. There really wasn't much more to be done - just agreeing on the order of the drawings and the choosing the cover design.
"You're moving and you're going to have your teenage sister living with you?" Celeste exclaimed at Rory as they both sat in Celeste's backyard pergola enjoying a nice cool drink a few days later. Celeste loved how cosy Jess and Luke had made the back yard for her and Evie, who was now playing in a small sand box with Finny. But even despite that, on occasion she still missed the garden she'd had in Greenwich Village - that having offered a great deal more privacy.
Rory was definitely enjoying again being slightly more mobile, wanting to get out of the house as much as she could now. Hence she'd asked Hallam to bring her, Cathy and Finny over to Brooklyn for the day. Cathy was around in case she needed help, but with the kids largely occupying themselves, it was just a nice chance to enjoy a summer day.
"Well technically we have just begun looking for something - it's probably going to take some time as there are not too many places that big. And I want to speak to Gigi to see what she thinks of this first," Rory explained.
"Wow, I don't see you, what, a week, and you already have a whole other life planned out," Celeste chuckled.
Rory shrugged, taking a sip of her water, her legs place up on another chair.
"So, I heard you went to Stars Hollow?" Rory inquired curiously, having briefly spoken to her mother.
"I don't think I've enjoyed myself that much in years," she replied.
Rory was a little surprised to hear this, but she did understand. She had loved it too, and in a way she still did, though she couldn't help to believe that she must romanticise it a little too.
"Well you look happy," Rory replied.
"The people were really nice, I hung out with some of them one evening - there was Heidi, Sarah and Lela. Just casual chatting you know, and I love that I have you to talk to, but that sort of going out with girlfriends type of thing I've sort of missed too," Celeste explained.
"Weren't Heidi and Lela in the 30-something gang?" Rory pondered out loud, trying to recall.
"I don't know anything about any gangs," Celeste chuckled. "Heidi has a two-year-old and Lela I think has two kids…?" she replied, unsurely.
"I guess that must've been what mom was telling me the other day about Mrs. Patty playing match-maker," Rory commented. She'd been a little worried about her mom, but thankfully Luke had calmed her - Lorelai's fever had gone down and little by little her condition was improving.
Celeste shrugged.
"Oh, and mom told me you did really well, she was just sad she didn't get a chance to talk to you before you left," Rory added.
"It really wasn't very hard," she replied modestly.
"Well, you are the gala queen…," Rory said theatrically, recalling the first time they'd been to the spring gala, the four of them. Rory had organized a number of events herself, and helped her mother at numerous weddings, but she had always liked the approach of having specific list to do, not quite the part that involved taking full responsibility.
"Oh, please.,.I'm hardly anymore," she laughed.
A minute later Finny ran over to Rory, asking for a drink.
"Hey, I was wondering - which preschool did you list Finny in?" Celeste asked, as she watched him take a sip of Rory's water.
"Oh, I didn't, but Logan did. I tried… but honestly I just got so frustrated with most of the schools around here. I hate the idea of pressuring 2-year-olds to take tests and compete with each other for spots. So thankfully Honor knew someone who has this tiny preschool that only takes like fifteen kids each year, and Logan made a call," Rory described. She frankly didn't want to know how much of getting Finny in that school had been the prestige that came with the name or the pricetag of the place, all she cared that Finny had a childhood as stress free as possible, and by Honor's words this was the place to have it, Conrad having gone there for a few years in the beginning before they moved away form New York.
Celeste felt a tiny stab at the thought that in this new life of hers she didn't really have the same possibilities like Logan and Rory did, despite her being still well off. She couldn't just make a call and say the name that had that kind power. For a moment, she thought whether her child would be worse off because of it, but quickly brushed the thought aside, almost having forgotten why she'd escaped the name to begin with.
"Yeah, I'm kind of having the same issue," she commented, having looked into a few options in Park Slope. Somehow the way the other women had described the situation in Stars Hollow had seemed so much more humane, not to mention more reasonably priced. Coming from a French background, where things like this, and health care, were free, the prices seemed ridiculous to her as well. Yes, she could afford them, but it felt like something that shouldn't have to be dependant on the parent's income.
"I wish I could tell you something that would help you, but I guess if you want you could ask Logan about it," Rory suggeste.
Celeste nodded thoughtfully.
They could hear a neighbour a few houses down the road yelling at their kids to get their asses inside, rather rudely, while another, further away, decided to blast some RnB. This wasn't news to Celeste ofcourse, and she'd almost gotten used to it, and didn't really annoy her - this was what New York was - an utter mixture of people.
Rory was te person with whom she really didn't have to watch what she said, even if it was stupid, ignorant or just something silly that popped into her head without having given it much though. While she thought it was a probably just a whim, the remnants of the burst of good emotions, she'd gotten from her visit to Stars Hollow still influencing her, but she asked it anyways.
"How badly do you think Jess really hates Stars Hollow?" Celeste asked Rory. Each time they'd visited he told her bits and pieces of his time there, more often than not, it was about some of the people who were too in his business, or had been. Or how he didn't particularily like the school or the book store, that hardly carried anything worth reading. But he'd sort of accepted that they were linked to the place - going to visit quite many times a year - to see Luke, to see his mom and Doula - and recentenly more and more because of other things.
"Well…," she took a moment to think. "He seems a lot less reluctant towards the place as far as I've understood these days. But when he first came he also was a very different person. I believe he once described arriving in Stars Hollow like Elvis Costello's 'This is hell' ringing in his ears," Rory chuckled.
Celeste tried to picture it. She'd seen a few photos of him from those times, more specifically pre-Stars Hollow pictures in fact. He'd definitely been that angry guy to whom a picturesque small town left a lot to be desired.
"He never really fit in, you know, and in the part that he did - it was largely in relation to me," she admitted carefully. They both knew the history, quite in detail, but still in occasion speaking of it made them a little cautious. "I took him to events or he participated in them because of me, before that… he was kind of a trouble maker - staged a fake murder scene, stole a few things - nothing criminal, just some pranks essentially that were more funny than serious. He really didn't make many friends there. Taylor, our selectman, hated him," Rory described.
Celeste had heard some of those stories before, feeling glad that not everything had been kept from her.
"Yeah, he really does seem like the New York kind of guy," Celeste sighed.
"You really did like it there, didn't you?" Rory asked, trying to read her face that had gone serious.
"Maybe it was just a short time thing or something… but I just haven't felt like that in such a long time. And maybe I am in no position to even think about changes of that magnitude in my condition…," Celeste pondered, recalling her momentary thought that maybe she didn't even need her antidepressants while being there. She'd been responsible though - keeping up with the both with and without Jess present, but she knew she needed to admit that thought to her therapist and try to make sense of things.
"Well you do have a point there that New York isn't exactly the easiest place to feel included, find new friends - together but separate…," Rory discussed. "But if you really feel that you want something else than this..." she gestures around them, tiny gardens between two rows of townhouses, each garden a tiny separate entity where the neighbours hardly spoke more than mouthing a weak greeting. It wasn't that she felt like the area was beneth her, far from it, but she could see her side in this. "...you should talk to him. He's not the same guy he was," Rory finished her thought, encouraging her to speak her needs.