Moonlight

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-thank you very much to everyone who kindly read and reviewed the last chapter and for sticking with this story.

Chapter Forty-Four-Girl Talk

"I can't do this, Bella. I just can't." Leah collapsed on the Black's old couch and put her head in her hands.

It had been over a week since she had transformed into a wolf along with her younger sibling, Seth, and she wasn't coping at all well with the sudden changes in her life. Quileute shape-shifters were historically almost exclusively men, so they failed to realize that Leah's emotions may have been a sign of an impending evolution. Her constant mood swings and arguments with her mother had been assumed to be a result of her bitterness over her breakup with Sam, and also the intense grief from Harry's passing. Her transformation had sent shock waves through those in the tribe who were in on the secret about the wolves-as for the pack themselves, they were in crisis.

"I'm here for you." Bella said reassuringly as she put a tentative arm around the older girl. "Vent as much as you want."

"Even if its about your precious Jacob?" Leah challenged.

Bella kept her tone even as she answered. "Yes, even if its about him. Say what you want. I'm not going to judge, K?'"

Leah looked at Bella for a minute. Every muscle in her face was tense and without a word she communicated intense mistrust, anger, and despair. Bella could understand her misgivings, but under Leah's mistrustful gaze, she sensed the pain inside. Bella wanted to reach in and tell her it wasn't hopeless, but she knew Leah wasn't ready to hear that. Leah's insides were too damp with un-cried tears to even believe that things would get better.

"I haven't got an issue with Jacob." Leah admitted eventually. Her pain was visible on her face now as well as her voice. She had given up on trying to hide it. "He's been more patient with me than the others."

"It's going to take time for everyone to adjust to the new status-quo." Bella said carefully. "Some are going to struggle more than others…"

Leah's eyes turned bitter. "Paul is the worst! He's been constantly antagonistic toward me."

"You've been quite hostile to him as well." Bella was sympathetic to Leah's feelings, but she wasn't going to tip toe around them, either.

"Do you blame me?" Leah snapped.

"No…Paul is an expert at getting under people's skin." Bella pointed out reasonably. "It's his defence mechanism. He's like that with everyone. Don't take it so personally."

"This is your idea of sympathy, is it?"

"If you came here expecting me to just nod my head and agree with everything you say, then forget it." Bella said sternly.

"I expected some empathy at least!"

"I do empathise. I know how difficult this is for you. But you're not helping the situation by taking your anger and frustration out on the others. Let's cut to the chase, Leah. This is not about the others…its to do with Sam."

Leah looked at Bella like the fire in her eyes had been dowsed with ice water. It was unnerving. It was like she had crawled right back inside some invisible shell. She clenched her fists in her lap and moved her eyes slowly to look at them, like they were heavy, an effort to move.

"Leah, the worst thing you can do is lock your feelings away. You need to deal with them…."

"You have no idea what its like!" Leah cried. "Having Sam in my head all day, listening to his thoughts, being forced to share his guilt…. his love….and underneath the constant thrum of Emily…Emily…. Always Emily!"

"Lee…." Bella pulled herself up on her knees on the couch and guided Leah's head onto her shoulder with her hands. "I'm here. You're not alone."

When the bonds of love begin to stretch and break, anguish is all that is left behind. Leah was at her lowest, had reached the point where her sadness came as a painful cleanse. She had been holding so much inside for so long, being forced to share head space with her ex had made her reach breaking point. Her only way of coping was to take her anger and desolation out on the pack. She had been using the mental connection to remind the others of things they would rather forget, ostensibly to vent her pain at being connected to Sam.

"Your anger is your sadness in fight mode." Bella combed her fingers through the silky strands of Leah's hair. She had cut her hair to a chin length bob after her first phase, just like the boys had after theirs to decrease her fur length. "You can't go on this way, Leah. You know that. You're hurting the others-Embry, Quil, Jared, even Paul-they don't deserve that. Think of Seth…."

"I know that." Leah wept. "I hate myself for doing it. It just hurts so much that I want the others to hurt, too."

"I wish I could take your pain away."

The mental connection that tied Leah's mind to Sam's was just making her more depressed and angrier with each passing day, but since she was unable to simply avoid her ex and stay out of his brain, there was no way easy solution to the problem.

Leah was somewhat under control again. She lifted her head from Bella's shoulder and rubbed her face with the palms of her hands to dry away the tears. Then she sat, her head bent forward, with her elbows resting on her knees. "The worst part is…. I know Sam still has feelings for me. Intermingled with the constant thrum of Emily…. Emily…Emily…I can hear my name." She confessed. "And that makes me hope….and I don't want to hope."

Bella chewed on her lower lip as she pondered the problem. She remembered Jacob alluding to something similar when they were in the police station, but he had refused to elaborate further because he said it wasn't his place to betray Sam's confidence.

"I think the only way around this is if you patrol when Sam isn't. That way you won't be phased together."

"Jacob has been pushing for that. But Sam won't go for it because he says that Seth and I are too green."

"Damn." Bella was getting frustrated herself at Sam's stubbornness.

It was no wonder Jacob had been full of tension the last few days when he came back from patrolling. She had assumed it was because Leah was causing so much division within the pack, but it was obviously more than that. Jacob was questioning Sam's decisions, and it seemed that Uley didn't like that. Bella knew Jacob hadn't said anything because he was worried that she was under enough stress without him adding to it by talking about the powerplay going on between him and Sam. Something was going to give sooner or later.

"I have to go." Leah said eventually, rising to her feet. "I don't like leaving Seth on his own for too long."

"Lee, you have to stop feeling guilty about that." Bella prodded gently. "Seth phasing was nothing to do with you."

Leah stiffened. "Then how do you explain it? It was because of my anger that triggered his transformation early. He's only fourteen. He's still a kid."

Bella stood up, feeling anguished at the sight of Leah's tormented expression. She embraced the older girl again, squeezing her gently. Leah was so much taller than she was. She felt like a child against the towering she-wolf. "None of us know why any of this happened, not even the elders. Maybe we'll never know. But one thing is for certain, Seth was going to phase anyway, all the signs were there."

"You knew it was going to happen. You had that feeling." Leah reminded her.

"Another thing I can't explain. Maybe it's my connection to Jake." Bella dropped her arms back to her sides and stepped back.

"The imprint." Leah said sourly.

"I don't think what Jake and I have is an imprint in the traditional sense. I've always thought it was something different to that."

"Nothing is, it seems." Leah let out a weary sigh. "I've really got to go."

"K.'" Bella replied. "I'll catch up with you at the bonfire tonight."

"Oh, that!" Leah rolled her eyes. "Another thing I'm not looking forward to. Its my mom's first time sitting on the council."

"How is she?"

"Still angry. Like mother, like daughter, I guess. She's very hurt that my father was keeping so many secrets. Can't blame her. She's certainly been giving the elders a roasting." A fleeting smile lightened Leah's face for a moment. "They certainly needed shaking up."

"Good for her." Bella matched her smile. "I can't wait to see her in action. And expect fireworks. My dad will be hearing the legends tonight, so expect things to kick off when he starts asking questions." Her smile turned into a wince.

Leah's eyes warmed up a little. "If you need to vent when it's all over?" She offered.

"I'll hold you to that."

"Are you gonna eat that hotdog?" Paul asked Jacob, his eyes locked on the last remnant of the huge meal the werewolves had consumed.

Jacob leaned back against Bella's knees and toyed with the hotdog he had spitted on a straightened wire hanger, the flames at the edge of the bonfire licked along its blistered skin. He heaved a sigh and patted his stomach. It was somehow still flat, though Bella had lost count of how many hot dogs he'd eaten after his tenth. Not to mention the supersized bag of chips or the two-litre bottle of root beer.

"What do you think, Bells? Do you think Lahote deserves it?" Jacob tipped his head back and looked up at her.

Bella pretended to consider it for a moment. "Nah…." She said, smiling slyly. "I'm sure you can force it down."

"I guess." Jacob gave a pretend sigh. "I'm so full I'm about to puke, but I'll do whatever you think is right, Bella, honey. I won't enjoy it at all, though."

Even though Paul had eaten at least as much as Jacob, he glowered and his hands balled into fists. "Give. It. To. Me."

Bella burst out laughing at the angry look on his face. "Calm down, Paul. Sheesh, we were just kidding."

The tenson immediately left Paul's face when Bella told him to calm down. "I knew that." He muttered, his eyes shining with eager anticipation as Jacob flipped the homemade skewer across the circle. Paul caught it easily and grinned.

The fire crackled, settling lower towards the sand. Sparks blew up in a sudden puff of brilliant orange against the black sky. The sun had already set. It was almost time for the stories to begin.

Bella felt her cell phone buzz in her pocket. She sighed, pulling it out and glancing at the screen. "Its Alice again." She whispered to Jacob. She had avoided contacting Alice again since she had hung up on Rosalie over a week earlier.

Jacob pursed his lips angrily. "Just text her back and tell her you'll be in contact when you're ready and not before."

Bella typed a quick text, pressed send and then switched her phone off. "Done."

"Good." Jacob's face relaxed again. He reached for her hand. "Forget about the Cullens for now, we've got other things to deal with tonight."

A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.