Twenty Years Earlier

"We have to talk to Nikita about this. If we don't put it to bed soon, it'll only get worse," Nikita overheard her mother talking on the phone with her father. After the fight she had with her bully and the subsequent visit with the principal, she was taken home and asked to wait in her bedroom for her parents. They both needed to talk to her- her dad just had to come home from work. But she couldn't wait that long. Sitting on her bed, holding her Pooh Bear wasn't helpful. She had to leave, especially when she heard her mom's comment. Unfortunately, she only made it as far as the stairs before she was caught. Her mother pulled her back, scooping her up in her arms, "Whoa, hey. Where are you going?"

"It'd be better if you gave me back. I'm too mean to be your daughter," Looking only at her stuffed animal, Nikita mumbled. She might not have gotten in trouble at home for her fight (she was defending herself from a bully) but she knew how terrible it was. She had badly hurt her bully. So much so that the principal and his parents were livid. She couldn't return to school for the rest of the week. It was the worst punishment she had ever gotten. If that wasn't evidence that she was horrible and didn't deserve her family, then she didn't know what was.

"No, Sweetheart. No. You're perfect. That boy was being a bully. He wanted to hurt you, and to do so he lied. We love you. That'll never change," Instantly, Madeline squeezed her daughter tight. She carried her back to her bedroom, rubbing soothing circles in her back. They had somewhat had that conversation in the principal's office. The reason Nikita had fought back against her bully was because he claimed that her adoption was due to the fact nobody loved her. Her mom had to set that right- tell her that her parents and siblings loved her so much and no matter what. Apparently, that hadn't stuck. Nikita needed a lot more reassurance to believe she wasn't those horrible words thrown at her. Or, the terrible actions she had done.

"But I'm only going to get worse," Nikita had misconstrued what her parents were talking about. She assumed the 'it' that would become worse was herself, not the situation. Since that was the case, she had to separate from her family; she wasn't worthy of them if she were to be that mean. Her eyes never met her mom, despite being sat on the bed with her. She continued to stare at and fidget with Winnie the Pooh, most of her focus on the stitched up eye due to her little brother's roughhousing. She had reacted badly to that as well- harshly shoving him in retaliation. Tears started to well in her brown eyes.

Madeline couldn't have that; she needed to draw her daughter out of her shell. Gently, she lifted her chin so that she would face her. She made certain Nikita saw every ounce of love she had for her reflected in her eyes, and spoke softly, "You could never get worse, only better. I promise. You are loved, you are cherished, and you are not mean. You just acted on emotion, which we all do sometimes. That only means that you love your family strongly in return. Hold on to that feeling, and you'll be able to survive any bully. Okay."

Present

"Nikita. Hey. Nikita," Michael kept trying to gain her attention. But her brown eyes never left the computer screen, despite the tears beginning to form. He had to forcibly turn her head so that she would face him. Nikita appeared frantic. Her mind was racing faster than she could keep up with it. She was also trembling. Whereas Sean was vocal about his upset over the phone, she was silent- besides the 'no' she had whispered at seeing the man responsible for murdering her mother. She knew something that she wasn't sharing. Michael had to get her to open up- to let it all out. She just wasn't focusing, "Nikki."

For a brief second, Michael watched Nikita crumble. A sob started to break loose from her throat, and she began to collapse in his arms. But then she heard her brother tearfully wonder who could've murdered their mother. Hastily, she pulled herself together, and pushed away from her boyfriend. She had to shove everything aside for Sean. One of them had to remain strong. Although the world cracked and tumbled at their feet, sending them crashing towards hell faster than they could think, one of them had to carry them forward. Nikita wouldn't place that burden on her little brother. She'd force herself to be strong for the both of them, "Birkhoff, get me everything you can on Nicholas Brandt."

"Is that the man you saw? Who is he?" Reaching for her once again, Michael was determined to help Nikita calm down. Her diving headfirst into some kind of mission was worse than her freezing at the sight of the explosion. She was going to ensure she didn't feel or process any of her pain. He had seen her like that before, after being recruited, after Daniel died, after confronting her mother the first time, and after Ms. Bennet turned on the team. She couldn't do that again; he wouldn't let her. It was okay to stop and feel.

"An arms dealer, and Division target I took down years ago," Except, Nikita was bound and determined to not allow her feelings to drown her. The shocked and concerned expressions Alex, Birkhoff, and Michael shot her explained exactly why- she was connected to her mother's murder. She absolutely refused to get into it then. Instead, it was all about Brandt. After her mission to bring him down and collect the plutonium, the CIA held him in a blacksite. However, they weren't able to locate the plutonium either. Which was how Percy was able to step in. He was the only explanation to how Brandt escaped the CIA, and guards had been killed. In exchange for the arms dealer's freedom and revenge, the bastard would be given nuclear material. Things just went from horrendous to indescribably terrible.

"Tell me about the man who killed Mom," Sean eventually stormed into the safehouse and continued the monstrous snowball effect. Alex didn't tell him anything over the phone, simply that he could take as much time as he needed before rushing over; except, he didn't take any time at all. He forced himself together and demanded to know what was occurring. Emotionlessly, Nikita told him everything the team knew. He took it about as well as she did. That was to say, it was a false steadiness as he marched on, "So she was collateral damage. What's the plan to stop him?"

Michael had had enough by that point. He understood the Pierces needing to figure out Brandt and how he murdered their mother. But that was all their involvement should've been. The siblings should've left the rest for the team to handle. They weren't alone; they could mourn. Based on the callous words Sean threw at his sister, and how Nikita flinched at them, their forced strength was barely carrying them through. The two were going to crash and burn. Michael moved to get them to stop, but as always when it came to orders his girlfriend ignored him, "Brandt will probably stake out the funeral to get to you. We're going to beat him to it."

"I'm going too," Despite the risk on his life, Sean agreed to the plan. If Brandt was looking for him and Nikita, then they weren't going to hide. It turned out that they wanted revenge just as much as he did. Both siblings had anger coursing through them. It had the possibility of exploding the second they found their target. That was more true for the rogue than for the Seal. Ever since she saw Brandt on that computer screen, she felt something in the pit of her stomach gnaw away at her. It grew and festered the more she thought about him and the death of her mother. Whatever it was, it was something she had buried deep down within herself. But it was clawing back to the surface, making her even more livid.

"No you're not. That's a terrible idea. If he's looking to hurt you, neither of you should go," Michael finally managed to get a word in. If he had learned anything about revenge, it was that they had to be smart. No one could rush off full of dangerous emotions. That would only get them killed- check your feelings or check out (or whatever asinine thing he used to say). Sean and Nikita shouldn't be jumping in front of the gun. They should think and breathe, and know that their team had their backs. The siblings didn't have to attack alone.

"He's going. And so am I," However, their minds were already made up. Nikita stomped out of the room, her brother on her heels. Michael, Alex, and Birkhoff had no choice but to follow. The Pierce siblings were too volatile to approach at the moment. All focus was on Brandt, and any attempt to break that was met with stubborn outbursts. So, the team just helped them plan instead. They figured out the best way to avoid the posted security, and be on the lookout for Brandt and the Division agents Percy might send. They were able to operate off of the information Sean gave them. Every so often, he would leave to be with Jill and Sandy. It was how he presented the cover story for the press and gathered intel for the team. It was also how he was able to somewhat grieve with his family- something his other sister didn't get to do.

Over the few days between Madeline's death and her funeral, Michael noticed a darkness settling over Nikita whenever Sean left to be with their sisters without her. It wasn't so much fury, as it was something else- something that seemed far worse. But he never got the chance to talk to her about it. She didn't talk to anyone about anything other than the mission. Her brother acted the same. Though, Alex had some luck in getting him to open up after he spent time with Jill and Sandy. That fact helped her to keep pushing once they were at the funeral, "Sean. You don't need to be on high alert. Let me look for Brandt, and you be here for your mom."

"I can do both," Sean's reply was clipped. Alex might've gotten him to stop for a moment, yet he still scanned the area for any sign of Brandt. While Birkhoff remained at the safehouse, monitoring the situation through satellites, the others staked out the area. Michael and Nikita were stationed in a car a mile out so as to not be seen, and Alex and Sean attended the service. The young woman wanted the Seal to actually be in the moment instead of on guard, however. That was his chance to say goodbye. He shouldn't miss it, not while she was there.

"I never got to be there for my family when my father died. But you can be. Just grieve. Say goodbye to your mom. We have this," Softly, Alex encouraged. She'd stay by his side as she searched for Brandt, allowing him the opportunity to finally process and breathe. For days he had been running and gunning. That was his chance to actually stop. She wanted to hold his hand to help sell her point, yet she knew she shouldn't while he was in his full military dress. PDA wasn't allowed while in uniform, after all. But he could still mourn; he could still feel.

"If Nikki can't be here, then so can't I," It was just that Pierce stubbornness that took over. Sean tightened his jaw, squared his shoulders, and kept moving forward. He barked into his com for an update from Birkhoff, leaving Alex to stare blankly at him. He had a point. It wasn't fair that he had all those chances to mourn his mother while Nikita hadn't. She didn't even get to be in attendance for Madeline's funeral. It was difficult to grieve and mourn and say goodbye when your sibling couldn't, and when there was no real way to fix that. Even with Brandt dead, the rogue would continue to not exist.

"You never talked about Brandt," After informing Sean of their current position and status, Michael turned to Nikita. He knew better than to ask about Madeline, or Jill and Sandy. Those were subjects he'd have to broach once the mission was over. But he could at least ask about the other person weighing heavily on her mind. They knew the majority of each other's operations inside Division, especially since he was her handler. Brandt, however, was a mystery to him. She explained it was because he was on another assignment at the time, yet that couldn't have been all. She was holding back from him.

That had been occurring far too often as of late. Michael and Nikita used to share everything with each other. But recently, it was as though the holding pattern their future was locked in extended to their conversations. The fact that their presidential pardons, as well as so many other things, were no longer a possibility only made it worse. They weren't talking, and she was pulling away from him. Despite being so close in a car together, and having the time to actually talk, she remained closed off. He wasn't sure if it was stubbornness or something else that made her shut down, "There's nothing to say."

"Got a Division cover van at the north gate. God, can they be anymore obvious," Before Michael could even attempt to convince Nikita to open up to him, Birkhoff interrupted. He had spotted what was obviously a Division van in disguise parked not that far from the agents. A backup car was close by as well. The two could easily check it out, take out the Alpha team, and locate Brandt. Then, the next phase of their mission could begin. It seemed simple, but the team knew better than to think like that. They had to be prepared for the worst.

"I'll get the van, you get the car," Nikita wasn't necessarily thinking of that as she decided instantly. Michael couldn't get a word in before she bolted out of the vehicle and towards her target. She was hellbent, and he was powerless to stop her. The most he could do was hope her impressive skills would see her through as he took out the agents in the car. However, that was when their 'simple' showed how complicated it really was. Alpha team was dead, in both the van and in the car. Something was wrong. No doubt it was because of Brandt. Except, just as they were coming to that conclusion, Nikita went radio silent. There was a grunt of pain, then nothing. Immediately, Michael sprinted to where she was. Yet they were too far apart. He was too late.

"Nikita? Nikita!" Voice cracked with distress, Michael called to no avail. Her com shorted out and he couldn't hear anything. He couldn't see anything either. Birkhoff was able to spot Nikita being thrown into the van via satellite. But once Brandt drove off from the cemetery, he was lost. He had her. He got what he wanted and he was off to only God knew where. Michael felt his heart stop. The worst possible outcome had occurred. She was gone. And he might not be able to save her.