So it's official, battle of Shiganshina in the next two chapter and I was devasted when I wrote them. But I, also, kinda like this part because of what Levi do, I respect his decisions and I found him immensely strong.
I really thank you for still reading my story, I'm always more near to write the end and the manga is always more killing me so I'm really sorry for not updating like before. Oh my gosh I still can't believe I'm already to what happens in Liberio.
Wow.
Thank you so much, I love you all!
Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, kisses!
When I grow up I want to be proud.
"Once we get over this mountain we will be in Shiganshina."
The darkness around them, given by the new moon, blocked most of the view. The torches used, for some soldiers, were not enough and easily lost their balance.
Many talked to each other in a low voice, trying not to think about the hours that would follow dawn. Taking advantage of the new moon had been a good idea, that way they could have avoided the titans capable of moving even with the moonlight, but Elizabeth could not enjoy that either. She was restless, the malaise of a few hours before had not yet completely dissipated and she had not yet talked about it with Levi. At the moment she seemed to be fine though, she no longer perceived any symptoms but, in any case, she decided to work alongside Erwin to avoid trying too hard if not necessary. She hadn't talked too much about it with the Commander, stating only her position when reached Wall Maria. Erwin looked at her for a few moments, studying her carefully, and accepted without hesitation.
Levi walked beside her, slightly spaced from the rest of the soldiers to avoid being overheard, even though they were practically whispering. He was still worried about her and he didn't know what to think, but he also had to stay clear and think about the mission.
Her wife was not a woman so reckless to throw into battle if she was really sick, so it must have passed completely. A few hours earlier they had fallen asleep in each other's arms, tight and naked, recovering their strength before getting dressed and leaving for Shiganshina.
"Have you re-evaluated the proposal that Zackly made you?" Levi asked, lightly extending his hand to touch hers, taking advantage of the darkness. No one would have seen that.
"Yes."
Levi was shocked for a moment to hear her answer. Zackly, after entrusting the syringe to Levi, again asked to speak privately with Elizabeth and, in addition to congratulating her on her results and showing her a minimum of sorry for her recent malaise, he again asked her if she was interested in command.
"Really? Do you want to become Commander of the Survey Corps?"
"God, no." she replied shaking her head as if what Levi had asked her was unthinkable. "I talked to Erwin about it a few weeks ago to prevent him from naming me. You've already framed me once..."
Levi raised the corner of his mouth at the memory: her face, when she found out about her promotion to Vice Captain, was something priceless. He would have paid any amount to be able to see it again, it was halfway between dismayed and indignant, she wanted to scream but refrained from doing so because they were in front of the rest of the Scouting Legion.
"So...?"
"I would like him to mention Hange. And he agreed with me."
Levi seemed to think about it for a few moments, in fact seeing her in Erwin's place was quite tempting. Even if it would bring some more trouble to their relationship.
"I wouldn't mind seeing you in charge though."
"I would also become your Commander." she answered giving him a light playful nudge. "That would be fun."
"You already set me up. There is no need for an order to make me do whatever you want. "
Elizabeth opened her mouth to answer but she didn't hear her words and her mind couldn't register anything to say. Sometimes he was so spontaneous with her that she no longer knew what to say and gasped, her heart beating madly in her chest.
"Cat got your tongue?" Levi exclaimed in a slightly mischievous tone that only she could have guessed.
"I hate it when you do that."
"I know."
Arriving in Shiganshina, with the sun already high in the sky, they rode at full speed and switched to ODM gear once they got close to the Walls, hooded so that Eren could not be recognized in the crowd. In fact, a hundred soldiers with their faces covered surrounded the young man who now had to prepare to close the breach with his power of hardening.
Erwin was the first to land on the walls, closely followed by Elizabeth who stopped beside him. Each began to perform their task.
The first doubt overwhelmed her immediately and the only one she could rely on was Armin.
"Reiner and Berthold must be here. Don't let your guard down!" she yelled at the various soldiers running nearby. "Armin inspects the area. You know the District, it will be faster for you."
"Yes, miss."
"It's all too quiet." she then murmured crossing her arms over her chest and looking straight ahead. Apart from houses at the foot of the walls and an expanse of lawn there was absolutely nothing suspicious and yet Elizabeth could not take her eyes from that point.
"I think so too." Erwin answered, flanking her with the same seriousness. If she had come to not act directly except when necessary, there must be something wrong with her, something serious. Not that he minded her though; several times he had trusted Elizabeth's intuition, blindly trusting her who almost seemed to read his mind.
"They might have been hiding in one of those houses."
"Maybe. I don't think they've had time to run away anyway."
Before Elizabeth could answer him, green flares communicated to everyone the success of the part of the plan that concerned Eren: the breach had been closed.
"Eren made it."
Armin caught up with them at full speed, running in alarm and communicating that he had found signs of a camp, three empty cups soiled with an unknown liquid and an already cold kettle, details that neither the Commander nor the Vice Captain escaped. There were not only three waiting for them, there were other people, someone who had warned the three of their arrival.
Elizabeth had entrusted the inspection to Armin precisely because she trusted his abilities and Erwin was of the same opinion, thus giving the young man the command of some men. The younger one panicked and turned directly to her for support. Elizabeth smiled at him encouragingly, she had found herself in the same situation and she knew well what he was feeling. To differentiate them was only the circumstance and their way of being, but Armin was definitely more suited to certain types of command than her and she was sure of it. She nodded at him, winking at him and he seemed to gain more confidence, but still with the fear of doing the wrong thing.
Elizabeth went behind him, placing her hands on his shoulder and squeezing him slightly.
"They're just orders. There are no right or wrong ones, it is events that determine it. Trust your skills."
And Armin divided them so that they searched every building near the gate. As the team worked a particular awareness came to Elizabeth's mind. It was strange that there was no one, the buildings could all be empty for all they knew, but those three seemed to be nowhere.
The walls are made of titans... Elizabeth kept repeating in her head, until she whispered it.
"Did you say something?" Erwin asked hearing her talk but unable to understand her words.
"The walls are made of titans." she repeated firmly to herself and then leaning over the walls just enough to locate the young man.
"Armin! The walls are made of titans! " screamed her underlining the word 'made'.
Armin immediately understood what she was saying to him, confirming his theory, and ordered to inspect the interior of the walls. And they were right because Reiner came out of them shortly after, stabbing a soldier.
Levi was faster than all of them and threw himself at him, armed with a sword and all the rage he had in his body, and stabbed his throat with the sword. But Reiner managed to escape thanks to his power, forcing the Captain to retreat quickly.
Elizabeth was taken by despair: Reiner was now transforming and they seemed stuck without knowing what to do. His armor had already put them in difficulty and they could not fight, Erwin seemed to have no precise ideas about that mission other than to enter that cellar at any cost and she still did not know how she was. She felt good but scared. And she hated being afraid. Just where she had kept her gaze, the light that marked the transformation of the titans appeared and reached them, then letting the Beast Titan stand out before their eyes with a large number of titans around him.
This was one of the times Elizabeth hated being right; that's why she felt attracted to that point, it was as if her instincts were telling her that it was nothing normal. That's what she was afraid of: the Beast Titan. Her left hand, the one where the wedding ring remained tightly tied around her wrist, began to tremble slightly, almost imperceptibly for anyone, but not for herself who went to take her own wrist to stop that tremor. She had to stay calm.
"We have been under their eyes until now."
The Beast Titan threw a boulder at them, thus blocking the horses passage and preventing them from escaping.
Armin walked over to her, looking at her for a moment. He wanted to thank her for believing in him.
"Miss Elizabeth I..."
"I'm proud of you." she answered without giving him time to speak. At that moment it was best avoided and he had nothing to thank for.
As the Armored Titan began to climb the walls Elizabeth felt for a moment completely alienated from everything. She could no longer even hear Levi's voice, Erwin's orders, or the answers of all the other soldiers. The only thing she saw was the Beast Titan in front of her with the knowledge that the only person who could fight him was Levi. It was not of the titan itself that she was afraid of her but of the fact that he was also military intelligent and that, therefore, he might be able to kill her husband. The idea that Levi might die squeezed her chest and stomach, causing her to feel a sting that stung her eyes. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't even think. It was the first time in her life that she found herself afraid.
"They are blocking us here to prevent us from escaping. Either we starve or we'll be eaten by them, they will have Eren." whispered Elizabeth almost without realizing it as she saw the two and three meter titans running towards them. Erwin heard it, however, and had the final confirmation.
"Are you finally ready to say something? I could've had breakfast during the wait." Levi said apparently interested only in the mission but, out of the corner of his eye, he continued to keep an eye on his wife. She was good at hiding it but he knew her too well now.
"Dirk Squad and Marlene Squad protect the horses at the gate with Klaus Squad! Levi Squad and Hange Squad take down the Armored Titan! Employ the Thunder Spears at your own discretion! Archive your objectives whatever it takes! This moment, this battle, the survival of humanity depends on it! Once more, for humanity give your hearts!"
Everyone prepared to carry out orders and Levi and Elizabeth ran to Eren to catch up with him until Erwin stopped them, along with Armin.
"I did say Levi Squad but I need you to stay."
"To protect the horses and not Eren?" Levi asked intrigued by this order. Erwin felt almost guilty because he too had noticed the way Elizabeth stared at the Beast Titan and it was evident that she understood everything. He had been careful not to tell her about it so as not to worry her and leave on a mission with a head full of thoughts but she was too smart to not understand it.
"That's right. And to strike him down when the chance comes. You're the only one I can entrust to take on the Beast Titan."
"Understood. Since I failed to kill that armored brat earlier, I'll make up for it with the Beast Titan's head." Levi answered, leaping off the walls to carry out his order. Elizabeth was allowed to stay a few more seconds.
"Elizabeth, I want you to study every movement on that side, I need everything you can register, your every thought. And stick to our plan."
"Commander..." she called him. She wasn't sure she had another chance to tell him but she couldn't find the right words. They would probably die and, despite everything, she was grateful for all the trust he placed in her and her abilities. Sure, she didn't like to lead but she was grateful to him. "Make sure you stay alive. I still have to make you pay for promoting me that day."
"We both know it's not that easy to fool you." he chuckled, dulling the tense air for a moment.
"However, there is still one thing I have to take revenge on." she stated before turning and turning her back to the Commander who had stopped smiling and was serious again.
"Then I can say the same to you." he told him. "Stay alive Elizabeth."
By the time Elizabeth reached Levi he had landed on a roof after killing a couple of titans already.
"Clean up the small ones already! Do it before the Beast Titan moves! And no casualties. Don't you dare die!" he ordered all the soldiers of the various squads, anyone who could hear him. Then he turned to her and looked at her intently. "You in particular. Don't die or I'll make you pay for it."
"Yes Captain." she replied in an extremely sweet tone. And she almost seemed to have in front of him the girl who had joined his team for just over a month and who had already stolen his heart.
He would never accept her death. Not hers.
She was the one he couldn't lose and this time they didn't even have a plan to rely on. Now there were just too many unknowns and it was evident that Erwin, alone, could not control everything, which is why he had entrusted that task to her.
Only a few titans left to kill, Elizabeth felt that feeling of anxiety take hold of her body again, until she felt pain in her belly again. Her breath caught in her lungs but she tried to focus on the mission until, somehow, what she was now part of herself acted out. With the pain cleared and only adrenaline left in her body, she looked at Levi's blades and made him stop, ordering Klaus's team to kill the remaining titans so he could conserve strength, energy, and blades for the Beast Titan.
Levi started to turn to her to make sure she was okay, seeing her too pale for his liking, but stones being thrown at them forcefully forced him to stop and cross his arms in front of his face to protect himself, but still managing to cover Elizabeth with his own body.
After the first burst, Erwin warned them of the second and Levi, this time, acted with speed, taking Elizabeth by the hand and pulling her down with him from the roof so that the buildings could protect them. He held her tight against him, hugging her like it was the last time he could really do it. He felt Elizabeth's hands squeeze the shirt of the uniform but with so much force that it worried him.
She was scared, even though no one would be able to see it for how she hid it, and now he understood that she was afraid of losing him exactly like he was afraid of losing her.
The feeling was shared.
For a moment she stopped listening to anything other than Levi's heartbeat, as if to confirm that he was alive in her arms, that he was holding her and that he was fine, despite the fact that many soldiers were losing their lives around them and a great number of stones were hurled themselves against them. Until a crash of stones near them brought them back to reality.
Erwin came down from the walls, taking advantage of a moment of calm to reach the soldiers outside the Walls.
"How's it looking?" Levi asked as he approached him, followed by Elizabeth.
"Terrible. His throws have destroyed the front line of houses. If he keeps on throwing everything will get leveled. We won't have anywhere left to hide."
"We can't retreat to the other side of the walls?" the Captain asked, now considering retreat as the only way he had to save Elizabeth from this massacre. He knew how clever she was but at that juncture he didn't care about anything but her safety. Even at the expense of his own.
But the news that Erwin brought did not help calm his restless soul: the Colossal Titan was spreading flames throughout the District and there was no certain news about the conditions of Hange, Eren and the others, except that many men were already dead.
"The Beast Titan directed the small titans so our soldiers would group up in one place." she examined Elizabeth with one hand to her chin and the other to her elbow to hide another cramp. And she cursed herself for that condition. She didn't understand why, of all the days she could be sick, it had to happen on the less indicated one. If that wasn't bad luck she just didn't know what it was.
By now there was no one left on that side of the Walls but the three of them and the new recruits and everything had become a real race against time as to who would be faster to kill the other. More stones hurled themselves in their direction, this time closer to them, a sign that the Beast Titan had now figured out where they were hiding.
Levi clenched a fist, now aware that he could do nothing but consider escaping to save Elizabeth. He didn't want to see her fight, he preferred to make her run away and undermine her pride than to see her dead.
He proposed to make them escape while he would throw himself at the Beast Titan to try to distract him but Erwin pointed out that he would not even be able to get close to him. And it was true. He could no longer even think clearly, the only thing he wanted was to get his wife as far as possible from that massacre but he also hated seeing all those corpses on the ground. All those soldiers were dying for the cause and the salvation of humanity depended on it alone. He was getting nervous, not even Elizabeth had said anything about it yet and she was just clenching her fists and glaring at the Commander, as if she was expecting something.
And it was true, she was waiting for him to make him stop talking in that suicidal way but her pain prevented her from speaking, she was now out of breath. Not to mention that for how nervous she was she would have sent anyone to hell.
"Isn't that the best we can ask for at this point? What a huge defeat. To be honest I doubt a single one of us is making it back alive."
"Yes, assuming we had no way to counterattack." Erwin answered. Finally, he felt like adding Elizabeth mentally. Levi's eyes widened and Elizabeth suppressed the urge to beat the Commander just because she had to conserve her strength.
"Is there a way?"
"Yes." Erwin replied quietly, however, making Levi even more nervous.
"Why didn't you say that sooner? Why'd you keep your shitty mouth shut?
"To give Elizabeth a chance to catch her breath." stated the Commander, thus also revealing that he had noticed her difficulty. And she clicked her tongue against her palate, now wanting to punch him even more.
Erwin walked away to be able to sit down for a few moments, but began to talk to the couple with an open heart and honesty. He didn't want to put them in that situation, they were recently married and deserved to be happy. And, in all honesty, he too was beginning to be afraid that one of them might die in front of the other; they would never get out, also because of how strong their bond was. If one would die it would happen the same to the other one's soul.
"If the plan goes well you may be able to take down the Beast Titan but it will take the recruits and myself to give our lives. It's like you said, either way most of us will die. No, it's almost guaranteed we'll all be wiped out. In which case, we can stake our heroic deaths on a slim chance of victory. For this to work, to ask there young ones to die, it would take an expert con man and a whole Elizabeth-worthy slew of lies."
Elizabeth scratched her head for a moment, feeling embarrassed by that detail that, fortunately, nobody listened.
"If I do not lead the vanguard none of them will follow. And I will die before anyone else without ever learning what's in the basement."
"Huh?" Levi asked, finally understanding, together with Elizabeth, what his real purpose was.
Elizabeth felt sorry for him, she wanted to help him so badly but she couldn't think of anything better. Erwin had entrusted her with that task in the hope that she could come up with something better, something that would not make all those men die and him in the first place, something that would at least allow him to know what was hiding behind all that story. She clenched her fists feeling small and helpless in front of something bigger than herself. Erwin's despair became his own.
"I want to go to the basement. Everything I've done till now was because I thought this day would come. That someday I could check if I was right. So many times I thought death would be so much easier but always the dream I shared with my father flashed through my mind. And now I'm close enough to the answers to reach out and grab them. They're right there... But Levi, can you see them? Our comrades?"
Yes, he saw them. He felt around them the weight of their souls, their gazes on him, in every tear that Elizabeth had shed, and in all those that he had shed with her.
"Our comrades are looking at us. They want to know what became of the hearts they gave. Because the fighting isn't over yet. Is it all just inside my head? Nothing more than a childish delusion?"
At that moment Erwin was not addressing the Captain, as Commander, but his best friend. A friend who had trusted him blindly until then and who, now, was kneeling in front of him.
"You've fought well. It's all thanks to you that we've come this far. I'm making the choice. Give up on your dream and die. Lead the recruits straight into hell, I will take down the Beast Titan."
Those words stuck in Elizabeth's mind.
What was the point of hiding that relationship if they were all going to die soon anyway?
They were scared and seemingly hopeless, the recruits couldn't believe anything but death, almost every other feeling was blasphemy at the time.
Levi turned to his wife touching, with his right hand, the wedding ring tied to his wrist.
And she could no longer contain herself. A lone tear escaped the control of her eye, streaming down her cheek and reflecting the sunlight.
"Come back to me or I swear I'll come and take you back to hell. And then I'll kill you." she said firmly moving forward until the distance that separated them was bridged, her voice slightly broken but still determined. Levi smiled at her: she was beautiful even in that state.
"I promised you, right?"
Elizabeth reached out, pulling over his shirt and bringing their lips together. Around them, the other soldiers realized what was happening and opened their mouths in amazement. Many had suspected it but seeing it with their own eyes was another thing. If those two had made it despite everything then they too could still fight.
Elizabeth held his shirt tight between her fingers, while he raised a hand to her face to draw closer and bask in that gesture. He had never been the type to act like that in public but he was tired of pretending she was just a teammate. She was the love of his life and he had nothing to be ashamed of, he would fight to death for that woman.
"You know how to go big." Erwin commented with a smile as the two separated.
"We will be doing a cavalry charge. Our goal: to rush the Beast Titan. Of course we'll be making ourselves ideal target so we'll wait until he's ready to throw and fire our smoke signals together. That should reduce his accuracy somewhat. While we're acting as a decoy, Captain Levi will kill the Beast Titan. This is our plan." Erwin explained to the recruits, visibly frightening them.
"What?" Levi asked. "You want me to go after him with just ODM gear? He's standing in an empty area. There's not even a house of tree in sight."
"Elizabeth you tell her? I know you understand. "
She crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head. Erwin always remained the same.
"And I think I also understand what my job is." she answered, then turning to the Captain. "There happens to be a line of objects at just the right height. Sneak close using the titans while I go after you to kill them and let you save your blades for the Beast Titan."
"Exact." Erwin confirmed with a frown. "Standing and waiting just means we'll be showered by more boulders."
A red-haired young man, Floch, the most frightened of all, began to tremble, stating that nothing made sense, much less their death at that juncture.
"Precisely right. It's all meaningless, no matter what dreams or hopes you had, no matter how blessed a life you've lived, it's all the same if you're shredded by rocks. Everyone will die someday, does that mean life is meaningless? Was there even any meaning in our being born? Would you say that of our fallen comrades? Their lives... were they meaningless? No, they weren't! It's us who gives meaning to our comrade's lives! The brave fallen, the anguished fallen, the ones who will remember them are us: the living! We die trusting the living who follow to find meaning in our lives! That is the sole method in which we can rebel against this cruel world! My soldiers, rage! My soldiers, scream! My soldiers, fight!"
The Giant Beast began throwing a flurry of stones once again at their companions as Elizabeth and Levi advanced towards their target. A myriad of conflicting feelings lurked in their hearts, but at that moment it was too dangerous to give them a voice. There would be a time to do it, but that wasn't it.
Levi took advantage of the titans lined up to the left of the Beast Titan, followed by Elizabeth who cut their necks and let them fall to the ground helpless and dead.
Elizabeth began to feel exhausted, she didn't even understand how but there was something wrong with her and, this time, she was sure. Something had happened but she didn't know what.
The Beast Titan caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eye all the titan that, one by one, fell to the ground, but he did not have time to record anything else because a fury rushed at him, cutting all the flesh with a unprecedented speed. However, he had time to make move the last remaining titan on that side.
Elizabeth was thus thrown aside, while Levi was too busy with the Beast Titan to notice it. Not far away she saw Erwin's body on the ground, unsaddled from the horse but apparently still alive, with his chest rising and falling with difficulty.
She hit the ground hard as her hook coiled back into her device and her anger made her forget the pain once again. Levi was in danger, only against that monster, and she would never give up. It wasn't the first titan she killed. With a thrust of the kidneys she got to her feet, moving before he could catch her, and climbed up his arm then jumped close to his shoulder and slashed the back of his neck with a sharp blow. The hand of the falling titan hit her once more, taking her breath away for a few moments, and with her own blade going to cut her abdomen as well, injuring her.
She was left on the ground before strength and bleeding. She had fainted for a few seconds, perhaps, but she knew she couldn't move anymore. She was exhausted and she just wanted to rest. There was too much silence around her, a sign that the battle was over. But Levi was alive, she felt it.
Floch's voice reached her but she didn't open her eyes to look at him.
"Vice Captain Elizabeth!"
"Erwin. Bring him to Levi." she murmured with difficulty, breathing heavily and as hard as she could.
"But you are..."
"It's an order." she concluded bringing a hand to her abdomen where she felt the warmth of her blood wetting her hand. Her head was spinning and her lids were too heavy to open.
"Yes miss..."