A/N: I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow, but I couldn't help myself. I've been trying to hold back on posting it all at once lol. I was told I should keep it spaced out to let you all recover and prepare lol. Also for reviews ;)
I hope you all like this chapter. One of the big and most common questions I've received through this whole thing will be answered. Thank you all for the support throughout this. I really appreciate it. I adore all of you: those who have been here from the beginning, those who have waited over the years and all of the new readers that are popping up. Thank you. Please let me know what you think and enjoy!
Chapter Forty-Five
I am placed in the backseat of a car. We pass a few Dauntless and I realize that even if I had been able to get away from Eric, he had people at every exit. There was no escape. Not really. It is starting to feel like there never will be.
They leave me alone in the back. Eric takes the driver's position while Brighton climbs into the front with him. I was not aware that Eric even knew how to drive. It did not seem like something a Dauntless would learn considering their love of the trains. The doors lock around me and I cannot help but discreetly try to open the one next to me. It refuses.
I lean against it, the fatigue catching up to me and the movement of the car tempting me further into sleep. I am warm now. I did not know how much I would miss it.
"Thank you," I hear Brighton say. "For helping me find her."
"I should thank you," Eric says back. He sounds far more friendly than I am sure he is. "You made it easier to bring her home." There is a lull before he continues. "She'll be okay."
"I don't understand," Brighton says softly. "Why did she leave?"
"Your sister has been doing too much for too long. Things like that have consequences that sometimes are not seen before it's too late." It's odd hearing him sound more like an Erudite than I've ever noticed before. "I'll take care of her."
"I know," Brighton says. "They think I'm stupid, but I've seen you with her. I remember dinner."
"You're not stupid, you're still learning. Don't worry about your sister. She's in good hands." What a lie. It is clear that Brighton does not know the truth. He does not know the extent of Eric's demands for me. It is a small relief, but I cannot help but clench my teeth at it. I do not want Eric anywhere near my family.
"Thanks, Eric."
When we finally stop, it is behind one of the Erudite buildings. Brighton turns in his seat to face me. As if I am not trapped in this car. He smiles widely.
"I'm so glad you're okay, Amelia. I'll tell our parents. Don't worry, Eric will make sure you're safe." I am not safe. Not with him.
I do not say that though. I give Brighton a small smile. "I'm sorry, Brighton. For everything. I love you. You and our parents."
"I know. Get better and I'll try to see you soon." He looks over at Eric. "Thank you for the ride and...everything else."
Eric nods. "Tell your family that everything is going to be fine. I got her."
Brighton nods before giving me that familiar grin. "Bye Amelia!"
Something in my chest tightens. I wonder if this will truly be the last time I see him. The door closes behind him and I watch him from the window. My brother walks away, not looking back, likely confident in what he believes is the safety of his sister with Eric. If only I could say the same.
Eric doesn't say anything as we drive away. I can see his knuckles whiten as his grip tightens on the wheel of the car. I need to get out of here.
"You cannot keep me," I say, breaking the silence. I can see the muscle in his jaw tick from my position. He still does not react though.
The doors are locked. My best chance will be when we actually arrive wherever he's taking me. It'll likely be Dauntless. I need to get away before we ever get into the faction. I cannot fight him. I am still so tired. Eric will always be faster than me, so I need to be smarter. I just don't know how. I have tried to escape by going factionless and he still found me. Every single time I have tried to end things with him, he refuses. I do not understand and anger simmers in my stomach.
Finally, the car slows. We are here. Dread sets in the base of my throat and when Eric opens the door next to me, I try to turn and kick out at him. He drags me out regardless.
"No!" I cannot let him take me inside. I twist, trying to at least get him to let me go so I can try to run.
He slams me back against the car. The pressure releases slightly as soon as I wince. "Stop," he grinds out. "We're not doing this here."
"We're not doing this at all," I snap back. "Let me go!"
He doesn't bother responding. He grabs my wrist and drags me after him, heading for the door. I try to pull out of his grip. He just tightens it. It is no use. I cannot get free and I am going to bruise.
The few Dauntless we pass do not bat an eye as I struggle against Eric. "Let go!" I demand again. He ignores me. I am vaguely aware of the route he takes. It is not overly familiar until he opens a door and I am dragged in. Only then does he release me. I turn on him, fury burning through my veins. Brighton is no longer here. I have left Erudite. There is no reason for me to hold back.
"You have no right!"
"Are you hurt?" he asks, sounding far more calmer I know either of us feel. "Are you hurt?" he demands again.
"No. Not until you dragged me here."
"You ran! What the fuck were you thinking?" he snarls.
"Of course I ran! You bartered with my life! What did you expect to happen? That I would be pleased? You had no right!"
He strides towards me and I scramble back automatically. The look in his eyes is as dangerous as ever.
"Jeanine ordered your death, Amelia! She told them to kill you on sight! The only reason you're alive is because of me!"
"That doesn't excuse it!" I cry back.
"It was the only way," he says. "It's always been us, Amelia."
"You keep saying that but it's not true! Just because you thought this was...more than it was, does not mean that it works!"
He turns for a second, and I half fear he's going to lash out violently. His fists clench and he looks back at me. "It does. It does because we'll make it work. After everything, don't you think we deserve this?"
He had to be kidding. "No!" I shout back at him. "Everything that we have done for your deluded idea that we belong together, for Jeanine...we don't deserve happiness or peace."
He steps forward again. "So you admit that we're good together."
"What about this are you not understanding?" Dauntless must have ruined what was once an Erudite mind. "You cannot force something like this just because you want it. You can't control people like this, Eric!"
"I told you, Amelia, I always get what I want."
"Not anymore." I stare at him for a moment. "You don't get to choose for me. I do. I am not staying here."
"You're not leaving this faction," he says.
"I did not choose Dauntless!" I cannot help but shout back at him.
"But that doesn't mean that you're not one of us, does it?"
I freeze. "What?"
"What was your aptitude test result?" he says it softly as if he is not confirming my death with it.
"Erudite," I breathe.
"Your real result, Amelia." His eyes meet mine and for a second I cannot breathe. He knows. "You're not just Erudite. I knew it the moment we met because everyone else just ran. There was never any fear in you. Jeanine promised you to me and I made the deal because I knew you'd need me just like I need you. You got real fucking lucky that she was so focused on her project that she never saw what was right under her nose."
I shake my head, unwilling to admit it. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"I think I do. Tell me your result or I will drag you into the fear landscape and we'll prove it that way." He is serious. I know him well enough to know that he will keep his word. He would subject me to my fears just to prove a point.
"It's Erudite," I say. He looks annoyed until I continue. "And Dauntless. Are you happy now?" I snap, scowling at him. "Are you going to send me to Jeanine and let her run her tests? See if I live longer than all the others? Or perhaps you'll kill me like you did to those you framed for your own acts of destruction!"
He grabs my wrist and yanks me into him. I try to push him away, desperate for space. I cannot allow him to take me. I do not want to die strapped to a lab table. His other hand goes to the back of my neck and digs into my hair.
"No," he breathes. "I will kill anyone who tries to take you from me."
"What if I want to leave?" I plead. The fear is overwhelming. He could be trying to lure me into a false sense of safety. Even so, I am not sure which is worse: the possible fate of being a test result or being trapped in here for his own desires.
"I told you, you're safe here."
I close my eyes. He still does not understand. I cannot be safe with him. Not when he still refuses to listen. I cannot accept my life being tied to his simply because he demands it. "What about what I want?"
He stills for a moment. "What do you want?" he finally asks. His thumb strokes my neck softly.
I meet his gaze. "I want to be free," I tell him. "I want to make my own decisions and my own choices without fear. I can't do that here." I can't do that with him.
He frowns. "You're not leaving."
I shove him back as the anger flares back up. He does not move far but he drops his hands from me. "You stubborn, ignorant, brainless...maniac! You can't keep me here!"
"I will do what is necessary to keep you safe! Even if you won't!" he snarls back.
"That's not your choice to make!"
"Everything I have done, I've done for you! For us!"
"You did it for you!" I snap back. "You never once asked me what I wanted. You just took and took!"
"Like you didn't fucking enjoy it. I know you wanted me just as badly as I wanted you."
"I wanted to feel something that wasn't just self-hatred!" I pause, catching my breath. "This was never supposed to work. I didn't...I don't know what you want from me, Eric."
"I just want you," he says, his voice quiet. I can feel his stare on me but I don't meet his eyes.
I sigh. "Well, I guess you have me now," I say softly. "Trapped just like Jeanine would want. The only difference is you have me here instead of a lab. Are you happy now?"
He doesn't answer. He storms out, slamming the door behind him. I run after, trying to catch it before it fully closed. It's locked. I am left alone.
I glance around. I am in his apartment. Of course, I am. Tears burn in my eyes and before I know it, I fall to my knees, crying. I did not want this. Any of it. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
[tbc]