Envelope 45

Author's Note: I'm sorry, this one is a sad one but there will be better times ahead.

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"Hi, nice to meet you," the young woman said as she nodded toward Don and Kit.

"Where are you from Brianna?" Don asked her.

"Pittsburgh," Brianna smiled at him.

"So, two east coast girls on the loose in Texas?" Don chuckled as Agnes rolled her eyes. "You play soccer as well?"

"No, she's on the basketball team," Agnes said as she rummaged through one of her bags. "They don't put teammates together so there aren't issues."

Don nodded and looked around the room filled with way too many things two girls had brought with them to school in anticipation of every possible scenario.

"Your parents here or…?" Don asked looking toward the door.

"My mom decided that I didn't have enough bedding," Brianna joked. "She's hit the Target."

Don nodded.

"Agnes, how about I put together that chair you brought," Don said as he turned toward a box. "Kit, help your sister put away her clothes."

"I'm not touching her underpants," Kit said disgusted as he sat on the window ledge and sulked.

Don sighed, Kit had been another issue. He was stressed about school even though the lad got high nineties in everything, he always seemed underwhelmed by the curriculum that was presented to him and extended every project beyond what the teacher asked for, creating a labyrinth of a project that was way more involved, and he was rushing to finish by the deadline. Don was going to spend some time investigating some alternative schools for him this summer because regular school wasn't working for him and was creating anxiety.

"Dad, I've got it," Agnes said as she walked toward him.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah," Agnes smiled at him.

In truth, he'd been stalling. He had purposefully decided they would drive the 22 hours to Texas so he got more time together as a little family. He had planned out the route, the dive diners, the weird tourist attractions, and made what should have been a 2 day driving trip there a 4 day driving trip.

When they got to campus, he made her tour the campus with him and Kit, spent some time talking with a Dean to a program that wasn't even hers, and made her show him the soccer field where she'd be playing games he wouldn't be at. Really, he just wanted to re-pack the car and take her back home with him and Kit, he didn't want his family breaking up like this.

"How about we leave you to spend some time with Brianna and then Kit and I can take you out to dinner," Don said, still trying to postpone the goodbye. "You've got to eat."

"My team is meeting tonight for dinner," Agnes said with a small smile. She knew this was hard for him, and although she wanted him to leave, she also didn't.

"Oh," Don nodded and took a few steps to look around her room one more time. "Well, Kit and are staying the night before we start back for home if you think of anything…sheets or…or anything we forgot that you may need…"

"We're staying for a night?" Kit asked surprised, even though Don had told him several times they were going to drop Agnes off and then visit Harold Cooper and his wife in Memphis on the way home. Don liked to say that Kit suffered from being a 12 year old boy.

Agnes nodded. "How about I walk you out?"

Don nodded and walked out with his daughter who had looped her arm through his. He wasn't sure if she'd done that to force him to move or out of genuine affection. Whatever the reason, he liked it.

Agnes was moving in at the start of the summer with all the other athletes who were going to start practices and training camps. She was taking her first course at college toward her Veterinary Science degree this summer so she'd have a lighter schedule in the fall when more games would be played.

"You will call Tara for your daily check in?" Don asked her as they walked down the stairs outside.

Agnes nodded.

He had an old friend who he started in the FBI with who worked out of Houston and had agreed to give Agnes her cell number for a daily check in to make sure she was okay. It was a compromise between full freedom and a security detail living across the hall in her dorm, so Agnes accepted the conditions.

"And if you suspect any...?" Don started.

"Yes, of course dad," Agnes smiled at him. "I'm not stupid."

"I know you aren't," he smiled at her. "But you're also 18 and…"

"And grateful you didn't sic security on me so I'm not going to screw this up," Agnes said determined.

"Good to hear," he said as he patted her hand.

"Do I have to be in college before I lose Zlatko?" Kit asked, tailing behind them.

"We're pairing it down," Don said, not committing to anything but knowing that he needed to trust that over a decade of no issues meant he needed to trust there would continue to be no issues.

"Ha ha!" Agnes said over her shoulder at her brother before she yelled "ow!"

Agnes pulled away from her father and swatted at her brother, who, Don imagined, had swatted at her first.

"How are you really feeling about all this?" Don asked, trying to stop the fighting.

"Scared," Agnes laughed nervously. "But also excited."

Don swallowed hard and nodded. It was the right decision to let her go here, to spread her wings and try something completely different.

"Does this mean I get to go away to school as well?" Kit asked as he came up on the other side of his father, almost as tall as Don already.

"Sure," Don said. "Once you can show me you can cook 10 homemade nutritious meals."

"Why would I need that? Don't all schools have meal plans?" Kit asked.

"Yes, but you still need to survive," Don said. "So, just like Agnes did, show me you can cook and…"

"She didn't make 10!" Kit protested.

"Spaghetti, tuna melts, pork chops with mashed potatoes, butter chicken, lentil soup, pannkakor, homemade pizza, buddha bowls, homemade mac & cheese, and ramdom," Agnes said triumphantly as she counted them off on her fingers. "Eat that!"

"He did," Don joked. "Now you won't get the benefit of Kit's cooking."

"Dad, you should be checking for salmonella," Agnes said seriously as she eyed her brother.

"Hey!" Kit said. "If I introduced toxic microbes into your food, I would be doing it on purpose."

Don laughed at his children bickering. But then watched as Agnes pulled Kit into her and hugged him fiercely and he hugged her back and Don's eyes got a little watery.

Agnes wiped at her eyes and turned to her father, stepping into his embrace. He hugged her tight and kissed the side of her face before he let her go.

"I love you sweetie," Don said. "We'll be down for your first game. But you call anytime you want to talk, or just to say 'hi' and I'm going to…"

"I know dad," Agnes said as she wiped at her nose. "I love you too."

Don nodded and watched his daughter walk back inside her dorm.

"Come on dad," Kit said as he wrapped an arm around his father and walked with him toward the parking lot.

"She's going to be okay," Don said, reassuring himself as much as he was Kit.

"She's going to drive Brianna nuts with her musicals," Kit said with a laugh.

Don laughed loudly and wrapped his arm around his son. "Oh my god yeah."

"And she brought the posters," Kit said.

"No?" Don asked, surprised.

"Yeah, freaking cats," Kit said with a sly grin. "But I rolled up one with them that will be a surprise."

"What did you do?" Don asked, curious about his son's practical joke.

It was then that Kit's phone buzzed and they both looked at the text from Agnes.

It read: Not funny and included an image of a shirtless David Hasselhoff in a very small bathing suit.

"Kit!" Don said laughing at his son's ingenuity.

"Remember that week where she binge watched the entire series and then you showed her a picture of him now and she was crushed because he was like a grandpa?" Kit said laughing. "I had to."

"I've got a great idea," Don started as he walked with his son. "Why don't we get a small one made like a stand up, and take pictures of it all around DC and send them to her?"

"Yes!" Kit laughed with his dad as the two men in Agnes' life plotted to tell her that they loved her and were thinking about her, in their own special way.

The next day Don and Kit rolled into the driveway of Harold & Charlene Cooper who greeted them like they hadn't seen them in 20 years, when it had been about one since they last saw each other. They were spending one night with them on the way and Don was happy to see an old friend.

Kit loved their pool and spent most of his time diving for things while Don and Harold sat poolside chatting.

"So, how's the task force?" Harold asked.

"Good, moving along, we've got a great lead on RSS and Valentino called me last night to fill me in," Don said. "We're closing in."

"Good, they have caused enough death and destruction," Harold said as he sat back in his lawn chair. "And you? How are you doing at the FBI?"

Don sighed and shifted in his seat. "I'm not feeling as…driven."

Harold looked at him surprised, if anyone was going to double down in the last ten years of his career, he thought it was Don. With Agnes gone to school and Kit older, he expected Don would be looking to rise in the ranks.

"How's that?" Harold asked.

"Is there something about being in your fifties?" Don asked leaning forward onto his knees. "I've never felt more tired, like I could sleep standing up. My back hurts…I just feel like I'm falling apart."

Harold chuckled. "Well, things do start to settle differently when you get older."

"I think I need to get back to more regular running," Don said. "I'm lucky if I get out twice a week. It always helps with my energy levels."

"Maybe that's it?" Harold asked. "But not feeling the drive at work?"

"No, I'm feeling like it's the same thing every day and I'm kinda done with it," Don said with a sigh. "But I have years before I retire and…"

"Don't you have millions?" Harold asked him, his eyebrows raised.

"It's for the kids," Don said.

"Do you honestly think each of your children needs 15 million?" Harold asked him.

Don didn't correct him, but it was more like 25 million with Reddington's contribution to each of them.

"No, but it's…"

"I think Liz and Reddington gave it to you and to them," Harold said. "And you are not the kind of man to squander money or liquidate your children's assets, but maybe you need to consider what amount would allow you to leave the FBI and live the next part of your life enjoyably? I don't doubt that Liz, Reddington, Agnes, and Kit would want that for you more than anything else."

Don shook his head.

"Don, I think you need to think about it," Harold said. "You could retire now with a decent FBI pension and with some funds your separate from the kids rather ridiculous nest egg, you could do something for yourself for once. Because no one's life speaks more to putting everyone else first than yours."

Don nodded. "I'll think about it."

"I think you need to give it some serious thought," Harold said. "If you have the means to enjoy the next decade of your life instead of going to a job that no longer brings you joy and a sense of accomplishment, then you are a fool for not grabbing that opportunity."

"So, are you and Kit up for a Graceland after dark tour?"

Don smiled at his friend and they enjoyed the rest of their time with the Coopers before the next day of driving into Washington.

Don had dropped off Kit on the way home at Jeremy's for the night because, apparently, a week absent from his best friend was too much to bear. He was considering not going home right away and instead driving around the park to stop himself from walking into an empty home where his daughter was happily living in Texas and his son happy at a friend's home. He was dreading the quiet.

When he pulled into the garage and Zlatko looked at him with a knowing smile, Don wasn't quite sure what to expect. But when he stepped into his yard, Don couldn't help but smile when he saw his kitchen lit up and Linnea with her head down cooking or chopping something in it. She wasn't supposed to be here until the weekend. He felt his pace quicken and he launched himself up the stairs and into the house.

Linnea turned to look at the person coming in the door and smiled at him.

"I was hoping you'd be…"

She didn't finish because he had his mouth on hers and swept her into his arms. She responded to the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, happy to feel his presence again after over three months of absence. Don kissed her vigorously and pressed her back against the counter running his hands up and down the sides of her body unsure where to touch next.

"Where's Kit?" She asked, out of breath when they parted.

"Jeremy's," Don said as he kissed her once again and started to walk her backwards through the kitchen.

"The stove," she laughed as she reached for the dial and turned it off as he shuffled her out of the room and started to pull her shirt from her pants.

"I missed you," he growled as he kissed her until they hit the railing for the stairs.

"One of us is going to break our neck," Linnea laughed "if we don't look where we are going".

He pulled back and looked at her and smiled. "You came early."

"I knew it would be hard coming home," she said as she touched his cheek.

"If I'd known I would have come back quicker, we stopped at the Coopers…"

"I figured it would be today or tomorrow," Linnea smiled at him as she ghosted a finger across his lips. "I arrived yesterday."

He smiled broadly and leaned down to kiss her. "Thank you."

She took his hand and walked up the stairs ahead of him, knowing that they had the house to themselves and did not need to worry about anyone hearing anything or seeing anything for the first time at Don's place. She walked into his room and turned, pulling his golf shirt over his head and promptly undoing his pants and dropping them to the ground. It felt freeing to make love in his home with the door open and no one in the house but them. He divested her of her clothing and she dropped his boxer briefs to the ground and when she placed her hands on him she stopped.

"Oww," he said as she felt what should have been a soft testicle.

"What is this?" She asked as she felt around.

"Blue balls?" Don chuckled.

"No," she said as she pushed on it.

"Stop, that…"

"Don…" she said as she met his eyes.

"I think it's just…it's been a while," Don said as he felt her examining him. "I'm sure it's nothing."

She looked at him worried.

"It gets like that sometimes," Don said, he had noticed a slight difference, but had attributed it to a build up or chafing.

"How long has it been like this?" Linnea asked, her fingers still searching around.

"Look, I'm sure it's just…I'm sure afterwards, it'll be normal again," Don said, trying to stop her worry and pull away.

She nodded and leaned in and kissed him, her hands dropping away from the thing that most worried her. She needed to see if his theory was right before she brought him to the doctors.

Afterwards, as they lay satiated and spent, a fine sheen of sweat on their bodies and the smell of sex in the air of the bedroom, Linnea reached down. When she felt the hardness still there in his testicle she looked up and met his eyes.

"Call your doctor," she said as she sat up in bed.

An hour later he and Linnea were sitting in his doctor's office, he in a paper gown and she pacing. Luckily his family doctor was a great guy and had agreed to meet them at his office in the evening to put their minds at ease.

"I seriously think it's just build up from lack of activity," Don said. "I should have…taken off some of the pressure."

Linnea chewed on a finger nail and was about to say something when the door opened and Don's doctor walked inside.

"Are you ready for the third most uncomfortable exam?" Chuck joked as he sat on a rolling stool before Don. "Hi, I'm Chuck."

"This is Linnea," Don said introducing the pair of them for the first time.

"Nice to meet you," Linnea said as they shook hands.

They watched Chuck don some surgical gloves and lift up Don's paper gown.

"What are the first two?" Don asked.

"Huh?" Chuck asked.

"You said this was the third most…ouch," Don said as the doctor ground his testicle between his fingers.

"Somewhere between a grape and a walnut," Chuck said absently.

"What?" Don asked, confused.

"Your lump," Chuck said.

"It didn't reduce in size after sexual activity," Linnea said. "And the testicle is enlarged."

"Wait, it's not just…build up from lack of sexual activity?" Don asked, suddenly worried. "And it's enlarged because everyone keeps poking and prodding at it."

He shifted uncomfortably, it really was stating to hurt from all the pinching and poking.

"Have you felt tired lately, more so then usual?"

"Yeah but…"

"Any tenderness in the testicles when you sit or wear more fitted clothing?" Chuck asked.

"I little," Don furrowed his brow.

"Any pain in your lower back?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah, but that's not new…" Don started. "Could it be a clogged duct?"

"I'm thinking no," Chuck said as he bent down and looked more closely at Don's testicle.

"Yeah, this isn't uncomfortable at all," Don said under his breath and Linnea leaned in to get a good clinical look as well.

"I need to send you for a scan," Chuck said as he sat back.

"Really, is that…?" Don started but when he looked at the doctor's face, he already knew the answer. "Okay."

"Can we go tonight?" Linnea asked.

Chuck sighed. "There's one clinic that does late appointments, let me see if I can get you in Don," he said. "It could be nothing, but let's make sure what it isn't."

Chuck left the room and Don dropped the paper gown back over himself. Linnea took both his hands in hers and gave him a reassuring smile. "I am sure it's nothing."

"Then why do you look so scared?" Don asked before he hopped down off the table and got dressed.

Another painfully intimate ultrasound later, Don and Linnea were getting in his car to go home. It was after eight and he felt like his testicles had been poked and prodded by everyone they encountered and was sure they were going to say it was some blocked duct or something.

When they got to a stop sign his phone started to ring and Linnea reached to answer it, putting it on speaker so they could both hear.

"Hi Don, you're parked?" Chuck asked.

"Just a second," Don said as he pulled through the intersection and parked the car on the other side.

"I just got the images," Chuck explained. "It's looking like a seminoma, which isn't aggressive and responds well to treatment. I'm going to have to get you in for some bloodwork and a CT scan first thing in the morning so we can see what your markers say and get stag…"

"Wait, what are you saying?" Don asked, no sure he heard what the doctor was saying.

"What treatment?" Linnea asked, anxious,

"You've got testicular cancer, Don. I'm sorry," Chuck said into the phone.

Don and Linnea looked at each other speechless.

To be continued….