Nocturne - Chapter Forty-Five: Prices Paid
Rated - M (for suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, and coarse language)
~ * ! * ! * ! * ! ~ = Flash back
o - o - o - o - o : Indicates scene or POV change
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
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Kagome jumped at the sound of the deep, familiar voice and slowly turned to see Sesshomaru standing in the doorway. She melted and felt fury all at once. It had not even been an entire day, and he'd come, but not when he was needed.
Setsuna battled with an urge to run up to and hug her father, instead wearing an ear-splitting grin upon her young face and exclaiming, "Father!"
All had turned to witness his arrival, though none had noticed him nor sensed his yoki.
Sesshomaru gave his daughter a nod of greeting but did not display any semblance of emotion outside of that. He was not one for public displays of affection. Even to greet her first was a significant indicator of her status in his eyes.
Kagome more than made up for any of Sesshomaru's shortcomings in that area. But while he lacked in that area - at least in Kagome's opinion - he more than made up for his affections through doting on his child through different means.
He had initially disapproved of Kagome kissing every cut and bruise, stating that would spoil and entitle her.
It was Sesshomaru's thought that by coddling Setsuna, she would be weak. To that effect, Kagome cleverly asked if he also thought her to be weak. It only took a couple of days for him to relax his view of "coddling."
Sesshomaru's eyes then glided over Kagome in an appraising manner that held a deeper meaning. She quickly turned her head to subtly inform him that she was still angry.
Inuyasha wore a confused grimace at the appearance of his elder brother, looking none too pleased. "You learn some new tricks? Hiding your scent so I can't smell you sneaking up on us?"
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at his brother's idiocy. He looked pointedly at Shizuka and sneered, his lip rising in slight disdain.
"To think you have not noticed after these years," he chided coldly. "Yet, you are ignorant, preferring to allow the fox roam freely in the hen house."
Inuyasha stood up with a jump, placing a hand on the hilt of Tessaiga. He had made sure to retrieve the weapon after the recent episode of events. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?!"
Sesshomaru ignored his brother's barely veiled act of insolent aggression. He looked around the room, resting his gaze on Kohaku longer than any. "You have all exposed yourselves and your number when you have laid unnaturally hidden from our enemy for years, thanks to your foundling."
Inuyasha would have none of it. "This is all your fucking fault, you goddamn hypocrite! You led them here through all your damn schemes and tangled us all in your mess."
"You still trust it, even knowing where it comes from and the risk you place on all here. It is to her they were drawn," Sesshomaru explained. "The fact that you place its life above that of your own brethren speaks volumes about your character. Though, it is unsurprising to this one."
Shizuka withered under the scrutinizing gaze of Sesshomaru, which caused Inuyasha to become even more incensed. "She never hurt anyone, you fucker! I dare you to say another word!"
Kagome had seen and heard enough of their brotherly squabbles. It was becoming ridiculous and not something she wanted her daughter to witness. "Enough! Both of you! Take it outside, so Setsuna does not have to watch her father," she looked to Sesshomaru, "and her uncle," she looked to Inuyasha, "prattle on like enemies."
Both aggressors looked over at Setsuna, who sat on the ground with her legs crossed and an amused smile on her face. Kagome noticed the girl's grin as well and groaned in disgust before stomping out of the house. The girl had too much of her father's blood running through her veins, always looking for her father's approval and a good fight. Even at nearly six years old, Sesshomaru had exposed their child to pride and prowess. Of course, she'd done nothing to stop it either. As if it were a bad thing to learn in the Feudal Era when the world would only go through strife before settling into the future, she knew.
Kagome rushed out and walked away from Miroku and Sango's house, knowing her presence would not be missed with all that was happening. She felt frustrated with everything and herself. She had come to escape the lies and recent revelation that still weighed heavily upon her, yet she'd brought nothing but pain to her friends and family in the moments she'd arrived.
She felt bitter and downtrodden, and her grief only spurred on by the discovery that Sesshomaru had not disclosed to her all he knew. And now here he was again, likely come to take her and Setsuna away for their own protection. As if she was not capable of protecting herself, she fumed. Her use of spiritual powers may have diminished, but she was more than proficient as a marksman, something she did not tire of practicing.
There was now a fairly decent distance between Kagome and the others. She would not stray beyond the village's perimeter just yet, but she was far enough away from Shizuka's strange ability to hamper the sense of demonic auras and would sense if any came upon her.
Kagome sat on a bridge that spanned over the gently flowing stream where women of the village came to wash laundry. No one was out right now, as the village reeled from the news of the recent attack. Despite the circumstances, it was to Kagome's liking as she rarely was afforded time to herself anymore.
She swung her legs back and forth, pointing her toes so that they barely touched the water below, and kicked the cold droplets to spray in front of her. Kagome could feel his aura approaching at a slow and steady pace. She knew he'd come after her eventually. He was like his brother in ways he would be offended to know, stalking after their women like puppies with tails between their legs. It was a cute notion if she bothered to think about it, but her sullen anger was too great to allow such a thing.
His steps echoed on the wood of the bridge, announcing his presence. Kagome ignored him. She'd come here to get away from him after all, and it had not even been an entire day!
"Beloved," he began with an uncharacteristic tentative tone.
Kagome whipped around with a glare, daring him to call her another endearing name when she could not find one for him for the life of her. "No!" she hissed. "You don't get to follow after me and apologize. I am not ready to forgive you yet."
His gaze was calm as he regarded her, and Kagome seethed that he was still, after these years, so challenging to read. "This one has done nothing wrong in protecting what is his."
Wrong! Kagome's eyes widened. "So I am a possession now to do with as you please?!"
"You know this not to be true, miko," he said, resorting to calling her by her title. "You are mine, that is true, but only in so much that I am yours."
His gruff but tender words caused her to waver for a moment. "Yet, you treat me as a fragile piece of glass, ready to break with the slightest touch. Am I not enough as I am? You changed me without my knowledge nor my permission."
"Had you the choice, would you have refused?" he questioned.
"That is not the point! I didn't have a choice! You took that from me."
"I fail to see why this upsets you so. You have been given the gift of countless years, beyond what any mortal should ever be inclined to live. You spit so carelessly on what others would kill for."
"It seems so unnatural," she said with a shiver and crossed her arms. "At what cost? All things come with a cost," she asked. It was a valid question. Nothing as profound as the gift of immortality came without a hefty price.
"I shall not see you die," he told her simply and unmoving.
"Death is natural. Humans aren't meant to live beyond their years. Am I something unnatural now?" she asked aloud, beginning to question what she now was. She hadn't given it much thought since arriving in the village. But now faced with the reality of what had been done, Kagome was gripped with a new insurmountable reality.
"Dying is only part of the human condition. Something you no longer have a claim to, miko. To think death is natural is merely a coping strategy for something inevitable to humans. Take joy in what you have been given."
Kagome was still too angry to feel joy, not when Sesshomaru had so carefully tiptoed around the fact that there was a price involved with her' gift'. "But there is a price, is there not?"
He sighed with resignation. "Not one that you will bear."
"What does that mean?" she demanded.
"Simply that you do not need to concern yourself with it."
She fumed. "Am I incapable of comprehending the price? Just like I am incapable of understanding the severity of the situation we are in now?"
His calm features did nothing to belie his innermost thoughts, an infuriating trait for Kagome, who wore hers on her sleeve. "You seem to be already aware of the fact that there were Fan Tsenpo's scouts probing the area. Otherwise, you would not have known to come so quickly."
"I was apprised of the fact after you left abruptly," he accused.
"But that doesn't explain why you're here," she retorted.
Sesshomaru made a resigned sound 'hnn' but did not offer an answer.
Kagome crossed her arms beneath her breasts and narrowed her eyes. "Just as I figured. You already knew it was bad, but you didn't tell me."
"This one would not have you fear for nothing," he defended. He felt no wrong-doing for his actions whatsoever, feeling wholly justified. There would be no apology from him.
She glared at him as she stood up and brushed past him making her way back towards Setsuna and her friends, shirking away from his touch as he reached out to her. If he would not explain, she had no time for him. By the rate of his actions, he would step over anything and anyone in his attempt to 'protect her' from whatever he deemed a risk, suffocating her with his protection until she was a compliant, good little woman, or so she imagined.
Sesshomaru did not follow her right away as she had expected he would. Good, she thought. She still was not ready to forgive him, though she ultimately knew she would and even without an apology. Kagome groaned inwardly at her inability to stay mad at those she loved. It was better if she stayed away for just a little longer so that words spoken in anger did not sully what they had.
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They spent the night in the village. Kagome and Setsuna bunked with Sango and her boys. Their residence was the only one large enough to host guests anyway, but with Miroku and the twins still away, there was plenty of room.
Kagome knew Sesshomaru would not leave his woman and child, but he was astute in staying out of sight. Kagome was not sure where he would spend the night, though she knew it would not be far from her. She felt some ease knowing that.
After retiring for the night, Kagome grew restless. She could not sleep, tossing and turning on her borrowed pallet. Her mind would not shut off for anger and worry. She felt conflicted, a strange desire to seek him out and give him another piece of her mind only to be waylaid by the fear of the inevitable retribution they were to be paid by their enemies. Kagome kicked her foot out and sighed.
Sango whispered over the gentle crackle of the hearth, "Why do you punish yourself? Just go out to him."
Kagome responded in silence, not bothering to acknowledge her friend's sage words. She laid on her back, staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, though probably only minutes crept by.
Setsuna breathed gently beside her, a subtle reminder of why Kagome was angry in the first place. Her conception had started all of this, and Kagome thought back to those years ago in a dark cave lit only by moonlight.
As stealthily as she could muster, she rose and made out of the house. If Sango had heard her, which was likely, she did not utter a word, and Kagome walked out into the warm, humid night.
The village was quiet and eerily so. Many of the villagers had bunkered down for the night, fearful of an attack from a powerful enemy. They were right to do so, but Kagome held little worry that Fan's army would attack tonight. The daiyokai was across the sea, and it would take more than an evening for him to receive word and rally his forces to move on them if he were inclined to do so.
Kagome had no idea where Sesshomaru would be, so ultimately she planned to let him come to her once she'd gotten far enough from the village. She scoffed at the thought, knowing he would make her work for it, like always.
It was darker in the dense forest surrounding the village, but she held no fear. Even though she had no weapon, Kagome knew that a deadly being lurked nearby, ready to pounce on any who so much as looked at her threateningly.
She came to the stream that cut through the village and followed it west. It was this course that she had returned six years ago, and, despite not knowing exactly where she was going, she knew it was the way.
She continued walking and continued to do so, counting as she paced along the stream's bank—all to keep her pace and track of the time in the dead of the night. Sesshomaru was very likely watching her but gave her no notion of his hidden presence.
After Kagome had trekked a couple of miles into the woods, she stopped and looked around. There was a fleeting feeling in the air around here that barely struck the peripherals of her memory. It hung heavy in the air, and as if forming a discernible trail, Kagome followed the path away from the stream. She had not gotten far when she saw it, the barely visible outcropping of rock that jutted up from between trees giving it a natural hiding spot.
Vines covered the mouth of the cave-like tendrils of mossy-green hair waiting to be parted. Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, reminiscing over an act committed long ago, not from love but lust. She reached up to grasp one of the vines, but a voice startled her arm back to be clutched against her body.
"It is an unnecessary risk to bring yourself so far from the protection of the village."
Kagome swiveled on her heel, finding Sesshomaru leaning against a tree facing the mouth of the cave. "What worry do I have when you're near?" she responded with a weak smile.
"I am honored for the great faith you have placed in me unquestioningly. Yet it astounds this one that you do so now but cannot find it within yourself to do so on other occasions."
She felt her heart drop a little, and in her hesitation, he took a step forward. "I trust in your ability to protect us, but I cannot help but feel inadequate if you cannot trust me."
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This woman, the miko, his woman, was infuriating and intoxicating all at once. Her words said one thing while her body said another, and Sesshomaru, who was forever in charge of any situation, felt at a loss.
Sesshomaru had gone to great lengths to obtain the ningyo that the miko had consumed. The miko was correct when she had guessed at the price being insurmountable. To kill a ningyo would place a curse upon the murderer should they consume its flesh, which is why humans could never obtain ever-lasting life as they desired. If a mortal successfully slew a ningyo, which was an incredible feat seeing as how the ningyo were rare and crafty, they would gain eternal life at the cost of their own sanity. The ningyo flesh would corrupt and twist any who consumed them without mercy. That was the legacy of the ningyo and why they were not preyed upon.
However, Sesshomaru had learned a secret about the ningyo. The secret had been kept by his most honored father's last living retainer for centuries. Had Sesshomaru known this secret, but 50 years ago, he would have exterminated the ningyo without mercy. The secret his father's retainer kept was that of true immortality without the price to the mortal. Sesshomaru had felt perplexed at first, wondering why his father, InuTaisho, would need such information before it dawned upon him. InuTaisho had planned to use the secret on his mortal woman. Fate, though, would not allow that to come to pass, and both his father and the hime had perished long ago.
Of course, immortality was still reliant on the consumption of ningyo flesh, but the trick lay in how the flesh was obtained. Sesshomaru learned that if a ningyo gave its flesh willingly, the consumer would be granted longevity. But there was still a price, though not one so horrible as what was promised should he slay the creature outright.