Guest - Yes, Xanatos is quite unconventional. Ben is going to hate himself when he wakes up.

Chapter 45

Fires crackled in the night air, the primal smell of smoke and charred meat drifting into the breeze. With the setting of the twin suns, the village gained new life. Storytellers relayed their fabulous tales under star-speckled skies, capturing the attention of young and old alike. Elders exchanged the talk of tribal business for casual reminiscence.

No one was aware they were being stalked.

Light footsteps honed by years of experience carried the Jedi around the perimeter of the village. There was no sound, all communication accomplished between hand signals and a master-padawan bond. The pair finally approached a hut that had two guards, staying to the back.

The sound of a lightsaber igniting blended into the loud ruckus of two children being yelled at by an old woman. Xanatos plunged his blade into the side of the dwelling and cut an opening big enough for Anakin and him to slip through.

The stomach-churning stench of old, congealed blood greeted them. Shmi's broken form lay draped over a wooden frame, her hands bound tightly. Even with the little lighting provided by a scattering of candles, Xanatos could see that she had been badly beaten.

"Mom?"

He didn't miss the strained tremble in his apprentice's voice as Anakin gently unbound his mother's wrists. Xanatos spread his cloak out on the ground before they carefully settled the injured woman on top of it. Placing a hand on Shmi's forehead, Xanatos assessed her injuries through the Force. Though he was no healer, he could sense broken ribs, lacerations, contusions, and great pain. The internal bleeding was his greatest concern. She was in worse condition than he had anticipated, but she was alive.

"Please hold on for your son's sake," he whispered in his mind, all too aware of the chaotic churnings of the Force around his apprentice.

"Is it okay to move her?"

Anakin's voice was dull. He seemed numb, at least on the outside. Internally, he was waging a powerful war with his emotions, and Xanatos knew they needed to leave quickly.

"It might aggravate some of her injuries, but we have little choice, Padawan."

Anakin nodded his head mechanically. Xanatos retrieved a hypo from his utility belt. As he pulled shredded, blood-caked sleeve away from Shmi's shoulder, she began to pull away, murmuring, "no, no."

"Mom, it's me," Anakin said hoarsely, pressing his palm against her face. "We're going to take you home."

Swollen eyes cracked open, recognition dawning in pain-filled depths.

"Ani?" she whispered. "Knew you would come."

"I'm going to give you something to ease your pain, Shmi," Xanatos said as he administered the dose.

Once satisfied that the drug had taken effect, Xanatos lifted Shmi and cradled her against his chest. Though it would be more efficient to carry her over his shoulder, he had no intention of subjecting her body to any more abuse than necessary. He turned to leave but noticed that his apprentice was still kneeling on the ground.

"Padawan," he said sharply.

Anakin shook his head as though waking up and glanced up at his mentor before slowly getting up. His apprentice's growing instability coupled with an urgency in the Force to push ahead made Xanatos' skin crawl.

They quickly retreated from the hut. Xanatos had the speeder in his sights when a shroud settled over Anakin's mind that had the hair on the back of the Jedi master's neck standing up. He turned to find his apprentice facing the Tusken village, a stormy gaze fixed firmly on the fires that flickered in the distance.

"Anakin," he called urgently.

There was no movement, no sign that the youth had even heard his master's voice. Xanatos gently set Shmi down, tucking his cloak snugly around her. He approached his troubled apprentice, resting a hand on one tense shoulder.

"Anakin, come along."

"I can't let them get away with it, Master."

Tense lines were etched into youthful features. Anakin trembled as he spoke. He was the molten lava churning beneath a planet's surface, hot and angry, looking for release.

"This is a path you don't want to take. Trust me," Xanatos urged, keeping his voice calm and even. "Let's go."

He grabbed Anakin's arm. The Chosen One jerked away.

"I told you, Master. They are animals. They've done this before and will do it again." There was a manic hysteria in the young man's voice. "I can stop them."

The darkness hovered about Anakin. Carefully it spun its web of deceit, waiting for its victim to fall into the snare. It whispered what Anakin wanted to hear, cloaking its intentions.

"The Dark side clouds, Anakin." Xanatos heard the hitch in his own voice. He was desperate to make his apprentice see light through the rapidly descending shroud. "It lies and makes hollow promises … you wouldn't be the first it urged to murder in the name of justice."

"You sound like Master Yoda," Anakin spat.

"Anakin, your mother is alive, but she needs immediate medical attention …"

"Then take her." A feral smile curved the young man's lips. "I'll handle this."

Anakin stomped away, kicking up sand. Xanatos could feel the flames of his own anger and frustration licking at him, and tried to calm himself. He did not need to war with both himself and Anakin. Addressing his apprentice in a cold, harsh voice, he issued a command.

"Padawan Skywalker … get into the speeder."

Laughter dry as the desert air drifted to Xanatos' ears along with the sound of a saber splitting the air.

"Anakin!" he bellowed.

Xanatos drew his saber, evaluating himself as he ran with a burst of Force-enhanced speed. Fear – he felt that. Fear that Anakin was about to do something that would change the course of his life. Anger – plenty of that also. He was angry at Anakin for acting like this, angry at feeling helpless, and angry at himself for making an unwise choice in bringing Anakin along in the first place. He planted himself firmly in his apprentice's path.

"Let me go, Master."

"I can't do that. You're not thinking clearly, Padawan," he said, even as he struggled to clear his own mind.

Xanatos settled into a defensive stance, saber poised. It was a simple message that Anakin would recognize. He was ready to fight.

"You would defend those savages?!" Anakin cried out.

"You have no idea what I would do to safeguard your soul."

Anakin charged forward with his saber raised, trying to circumvent Xanatos. Xanatos ignited his saber, the two blades that had fought side by side now crossed in enmity. Xanatos' greatest fears had come to fruition. The circle was complete. His sins had now revisited him. He had raised his saber against his master, and now his own apprentice was doing the same.

Xanatos used powerful blows to drive Anakin away from the Tusken village. Each strike of his saber felt as though it would rip his heart from his chest, and for the first time, he could comprehend the pain Qui-Gon must have felt to have to fight his own pupil. It was Xanatos' experience and strength against the raw power of the Chosen One. He knew his apprentice's weaknesses, but Anakin also knew his. Xanatos cursed himself for never remedying his shoddy footwork as he stumbled and fell to his backside in the sand. He scrambled to the side just in time to avoid the gleaming blue blade that passed by his shoulder. Its intense heat was a reminder of why he could not afford more mistakes.

The Dark side flowed freely, reveling in the clash between master and apprentice. It opened up a second front for the battle as it wormed its way through Xanatos' shielding and permeated his mind with a chorus of taunts and temptations.

{You have failed.}

"I haven't failed yet."

{All that is left now is to punish his insolence.}

"He is deceived. He is not himself."

{Put him in his place as an apprentice.}

"A master is to protect, and to guide with compassion and gentleness."

{Show him what it truly is to embrace the Dark Side.}

"I promised him that I would never fall again."

{You are alone.}

His always tenuous connection to the Light was weakening, and he was indeed alone. Just when he thought the last thread would slip through his fingers, warmth filled him through the long-dormant bond he had shared with Qui-Gon. A familiar voice, as improbable as it seemed, spoke to him.

"This has to stop!"

Xanatos released a powerful Force push that sent Anakin flailing through the air. The young man was slow in getting up, and Xanatos used the respite to gather himself. Qui-Gon, or whoever it was, was right. This could not continue. Xanatos backed away, planting himself once again in his apprentice's path. The Force was directing him, and he hoped it was right. Disengaging his saber, he tossed it a few meters away and stretched his arms out low.

"Do you really have it in you to strike me down, Anakin?" Xanatos asked. "I'm all that stands between you and bloodthirsty rage. I would be the first life you take and the one that would haunt you most for the rest of your life."

The Jedi closed his eyes, hoping the confusion he sensed from his apprentice was a positive sign. The seconds ticked away. Xanatos was unsure how long he waited. His heart soared as he heard the distinctive sound of a saber disengaging. Footsteps approached hesitantly, then suddenly quickened.

"Master!"

Anakin crashed into him just as a blaster shot meant for his chest cut through his sleeve. The pair tumbled to the ground. Xanatos spit sand out his mouth, his dazed head lulling to the side. He could see a group of Tusken warriors approaching. Xanatos hurriedly called his discarded saber to his hand.

"Get your mother to the speeder," he said. "I'll cover you."

"Master …"

"Please don't argue, Padawan."

Anakin retreated as Xanatos scrambled to his feet, already igniting his saber. He deflected weapons fire, giving up ground as he could, especially after he sensed that Anakin had retrieved Shmi and was making a run for the speeder. After he heard engines roar to life, he quickened his pace and jumped to the back of the vehicle. He continued to cover them until they were to a safe distance before joining his apprentice in front.

"I'm taking her into Anchorhead," Anakin said softly.

Xanatos nodded. Taking her to the homestead and calling for a medic would be a waste of precious time. Anakin avoided eye contact for the remainder of the trip, and Xanatos allowed him his silence. They had much to talk about, but he wasn't going to force a discussion. Instead, he settled back in his seat and began to deal with his own hurt and anger.

Ben was sitting upright though he didn't remember landing upright. He was dry, when the last thing he had felt was the torrential rains of Kamino beating on his face as he slid across the landing platform. The only thing that made sense was his head throbbing. He did remember hitting it … hard.

The young man did as he would any time he woke up in unfamiliar surroundings, though it concerned him that it happened often enough that he actually had a routine for such circumstances. He kept his eyes closed, first searching out his surroundings with his senses, and most importantly, the Force. He was seated in a chair, strapped in with a harness. Vibrating … the hum of engines … a ship. He sensed a familiar presence … Obi-Wan.

"Master?" he called out groggily.

"I'm glad you finally decided to wake up. You had me worried."

"Jango Fett?"

"He escaped."

"I'm sorry, Master," Ben said. "I saw you fall over the side …"

"And did what any Jedi apprentice would have done," Obi-Wan assured him.

"What now?"

"I was able to attach a tracking device to the hull of their ship right before they took off, so we are following them."

"I thought you said that was reckless," Ben questioned.

"Correction, Padawan," Obi-Wan said with a slight chuckle. "I said that it was reckless for you, not for us."

"Master..."

"I want you to rest, Ben. So far we have found bounty hunters, hidden armies, and the hint of Sith involvement. We don't know what we will face when we arrive at our destination."

Xanatos leaned against the doorway, staring into the small clinic's waiting room. The medics were with Shmi, which meant that all they could do was to wait. Anakin sat in one of the chairs staring unseeingly at the wall, grasping the arms of the chair with white-knuckled hands. He looked more lost and afraid than Xanatos had ever seen him. Xanatos sat down in the chair next to his apprentice, dismayed at the way Anakin tensed up.

"Any word?" Anakin asked.

"Nothing more than they told me the last time I asked."

Silence stretched between them, as vast as any expanse of space. It was an awkwardness to which Xanatos was unaccustomed. Usually, he and his apprentice were very open with each other.

"I will understand if you ask for someone else to complete my training," Anakin finally said.

"Why would I do that?"

Something that crossed between a chuckle and sob escaped from Anakin, his body beginning to shudder as he shook his head. "Oh Force, Master. What did I do?"

Xanatos draped an arm over his apprentice's shoulder and drew him close. "A lot less than you could have done. While you touched the Dark Side, you did not give yourself over to it. If you had, I would not be sitting here by you."

"I'm better than that, Master." Tears cut paths down the Chosen One's face. "I feel so filthy."

"I know, Padawan. I am not going to promise that the road ahead will be easy, I do promise that you won't have to walk it alone."

Xanatos completed another round of pacing the hallways, arriving in the waiting room once again. A smile tugged at his lips as he looked at his apprentice. The Chosen One was quite a sight to behold, lying stretched across the waiting room benches, bootless feet jutting out into the air. It had to be horribly uncomfortable, but Xanatos didn't interfere. Anakin had slipped off to sleep soon after receiving his mother's last progress report. It seemed that the knowledge that his mother was stable combined with the security that he had not fallen from his master's grace had given him a certain measure of peace, and Xanatos wanted him to rest.

The door to the small clinic opened. Xanatos had been expecting the group to arrive. Cliegg entered first, followed by Owen, then trailed by Beru and Senator Amidala. The two women were chatting amicably. Anakin stirred, sitting up abruptly and blinking tired eyes as he rushed to greet his stepfather.

"How is she?" Cliegg asked urgently.

"Stable," Anakin murmured, as though unsure what the word really meant.

"Her injuries were severe," Xanatos explained. "But the medic believes Anakin and I got to her in time."

Xanatos was caught off guard as the moisture farmer gripped both of them in a bone-crushing embrace from where he sat. "Thank you."

A young woman dressed in medical uniform stepped into the waiting room, smiling at the new arrivals. "We have Mrs. Lars situated, now. I am willing to allow visitors one at a time."

The members of the family all looked toward each other for a moment before Cliegg rested a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "You go first, Son."

"Thank you," Anakin offered gratefully.

He shot one last look toward Xanatos. At the Jedi master's nod, Anakin hurried off to see his mother.

As much as Xanatos hated to abandon the Lars family, he desperately needed time alone. Darkness still hovered in a cloud around him, and he knew that he should meditate on what had happened between him and his apprentice. Anakin would be looking to him for guidance, and he needed to examine his own soul before attempting to direct Anakin. Once more, he found himself hoping for a long reprieve when this mission was over.

He pulled Padme aside. "Senator, could you have Anakin find me when he is done visiting?"

"You're leaving? Is something wrong?"

"I will be right down that corridor should you need anything," he assured her. "I just need some time."

"Of course. I will tell Anakin."

Xanatos retreated down the corridor and shut himself in one of the rooms. He first pulled his tunics from his shoulder and examined the small wound. The blaster bolt had barely grazed his arm, but it still needed to be cleaned. He rummaged around until he found bacta and a bandage. After dressing the wound, he kneeled down on the floor and began the all too familiar process of bringing order to his chaos.

As always, the Light Side of the Force was right where he had left it. No matter how many times he tried to start off on his own path, it was always there. He allowed it to fill him and chase the shadows that laid siege to his soul away, reminding himself once again that Xanatos Marojni belonged to the Light. He felt more centered than he had in a long time, almost like when he was still an apprentice and Qui-Gon had guided him in meditation. Now that he had found the peace he desperately needed, he began to seek the answer to a question that had been burning within him since the impossible had brought him to his senses. He wasn't really sure how to begin – maybe just a question. Keeping an open mind was a start, but how did one speak with someone who was supposed to be dead?

"Are you there?" he whispered into the Force.

After a few moments of feeling like he had to be losing his mind, he felt the ghost of a familiar presence resonate in the Force, tugging at a long-dormant place in his mind.

"Always, Padawan."