Bella PoV

"Alice!" I breathed, again unable to believe the fact that she was here, sitting in my old desk chair, smiling at me.

I wanted to get up to hug her and greet her like back in the old days but then I remembered that it was her who had abandoned me. My guards came up and I eyed her from my spot on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" I was nonetheless happy to see her as my voice clearly showed.

"I was in the area and thought I'd check on an old friend", she chirped, typical Alice. "It has been far too long since we last saw each other."

This whole act of "Old friends seeing each other after a long time like nothing ever happened" brought me back to my senses. What was she doing? How was I supposed to react to her visiting me in the middle of the night after months of absence?

I looked at her, unsure what to say. She had stood up and come over, sitting on the edge of my bed, legs drawn up, still smiling. "Bella, really, I wanted to visit sooner but the... circumstances didn't allow it."

"By circumstances you mean him, right?" Inside my thoughts were racing, my emotions twirling all around. Happiness, disappointment, sadness, everything turned and turned, and I couldn't deal with it.

"Yes, mostly. He didn't want us to see you. Said a complete break would be the best for all of us", Alice began, sadness in her voice. She reached out for my hand, but I withdrew it before her ice-cold skin could touch mine.

"And did he also tell you to go without saying goodbye?" The tone of my voice matched the ice of her skin.

Alice nodded. "He did..."

"And did he tell you that he left me in the woods to die?" This time I could see that I had stricken her deep in the heart. Her eyes began to widen, and her voice was barely more than a whisper. "He did what?"

"We went in the woods where he told me that I had always been barely more than a pet to him and then left. I tried to find him and got lost. If it hadn't been for one of the Quileute I'd probably still be there, starved to death. Or killed by a vampire."

Alice frowned. "Vampire?"

"Never mind." I didn't want to tell her anything else. She didn't deserve the truth and I didn't want her to know about Jake and the other werewolves. It would only lead to more and more questions and I was too tired for that. I sighed. "Why are you really here, Alice? I think he wouldn't be pleased if he knew you were here, would he?"

"Bella, I always loved you like a sister. I don't know why Edward left you or why he wanted us to move. I tried to check on you from times to times. Of course, I didn't tell him anything, but I was worried. I saw a lot of bad things and then you disappeared completely all of a sudden and I knew I had to come and see that you are alright. Nobody knows I'm here, not even Jasper. They think I'm visiting a neighbourly clan up north." She smiled sadly. "I am so sorry Bella for disappearing like this. I know how it must have been looking to you. I never wanted for our friendship to end like this."

"Friendship?" I asked. "So, you call it friendship having an amusing, little pet you simply get rid of when it is no longer cute or funny? Alice, after you left it was like my whole world was crashing down around me. I felt so betrayed and couldn't stop asking myself why. What did I do to drive you away like this? I know how Edward feels but you? And Carlisle and Esme and even Emmet and Jasper, I thought you liked me."

"But we do like you, Bella. It wasn't our decision to leave you." Alice tried hard to convince me, but I saw very clearly now what it had been. Poison. Addiction. Like Edward had said, he was dangerous like poison. I had loved them so much and had longed with all my heart to be a part of their coven but with every day that went by it felt a little easier to live without them. And I wanted to live. I wanted to have children, grow up, have a family. I didn't want to stay seventeen forever. I still didn't believe that they were soulless monsters because they weren't. They didn't choose this live they had but they were still people, loving and caring for each other. I just didn't want to be a part of this world anymore.

"But you still did. You did it because he wanted you to and somehow you must have wanted it too because why would you obey him otherwise? If he wanted to leave, so let him leave, that's no excuse for stealing away during the night like you had. I am sorry Alice, really, I am. We were friends once, but this time has passed. I have a new life now, full of wonderful people and I don't want to risk losing it." This time I took her hand, touching it very lightly while I looked in her golden eyes.

She looked sad, really sad and I would have always been tempted to forgive her, to accept her friendship once again, letting her in my life, talking to her like we always did, exchanging news like old friends.

But then something howled in the distance. I became stiff as a statue. The wolves...

"Alice, did you try and come over during the day? Or were you near the reservation?"

She seemed confused. "I came around the borders on my way here, but I never went in, you know that. Why? Has something happened?" Another howl, closer this time. They must have sensed her somehow.

"Alice, you should go." I stood up and closed the window. That should do about the scent.

"But Bella..." The young woman had gotten up too, looking equally puzzled and hurt.

"No, you have to go. Look, I am sorry but if they find you here... You have to go, now." I took her hand and tried to drag her up to my door, but I could as easily have tried to move a stone. She didn't move an inch. "Bella, what's going on?"

I was becoming more and more desperate with each passing second. I was glad Charlie had such a deep sleep otherwise this situation would become even more complicated than it already was. "Alice, please, go. If you want to talk, alright, but not now. Come back another time when it's safer. Please, just go!"

Alice frowned but finally moved. She followed me to my door and down the stairs. I avoided the ones that were creaking and tried to open the door as quietly as I could. "Alice, you have to run. And be very, very careful. It's not safe for you to be here, not now. And never go near the reservation again, you hear me?"

"Bella, are you in trouble?

"No, but you are." I opened the door and tried to shove her outside. But she didn't move. Again.

And when I followed her look, I knew she had a very good reason this time.

The whole pack was gathered, sitting in a half-circle in front of my door. Their wolf eyes were firmly fixed on Alice who was standing behind me, meeting their looks with equal anger and hatred. Only Sam was in his human form, standing in the middle of the small circle, arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked at Alice.

"So there really is a bloodsucker roaming around. Although it's not the one I had expected", he said in a mocking tone.

"I didn't know who you expected to meet but I have every right to be here. I didn't step on your land and didn't violate any treaty." Alice wanted to step forward, to face Sam eye to eye but I quickly held out my hands, not letting her go. "She was simply visiting me. We haven't seen each other in a long time."

"In the middle of the night?" Sam asked mockingly. One of the wolves growled and bared his fangs. I could feel Alice stiffen behind me, ready to attack if need be. But it wouldn't come to that. It couldn't come to that.

"She can't very well come up in the middle of the day, can't she? She's also the one the others saw earlier. Not Victoria." I immediately defended Alice.

"Victoria?" Alice sounded really surprised. "She's here?"

"Didn't you know?" Sam asked. "After you and your coven left the red-haired bloodsucker came back. We fought her off but she's still out there somewhere."

"What? I thought... We'd never... Oh Bella." She turned to me, tears swimming in her eyes. She must have realised what I haven't told her. Alice reached out for me but stopped in the middle of the act when she saw my closed face.

She sighed. "I'll go," she told Sam. "And rest assured, we have no intention of coming back here so you are safe from us."

Each word she said stung like a needle in my heart. So much for being over them... Way to go, girl

"Clever girl." Sam grinned menacingly. "We'll have a close eye on everything that moves. Just one little sidestep from you or your coven and we'll be there."

Alice hissed. Then she put a hand on my arm so I would let her pass. "It's alright Bella. They won't hurt me. And I'll stick to my promise. I won't come back. I am so sorry for what we did to you and I know that it has been a mistake coming back, ripping open old wounds. I just wanted to see if you are okay. And I see now that you are. I wish you all the best, Bella." She gave me a cold kiss on the forehead before she went down the steps, walking straight past Sam without paying him any more attention.

For leaving she had to walk through the close ring of werewolves. They were reluctant to move but at a barked command from Sam they parted, letting her through. The wolf with the dark fur growled again and snapped in her direction. Alice turned her head lightly and hissed again. She may be little, but she wouldn't be threatened.

I watched as she walked away, tears forming in my eyes. She walked out on me again, walked out of my life for good this time.

Even before Alice had disappeared completely, I shut my door, locked it twice and went back in my room. I checked if the window was also closed before I cuddled under my blanket, building a cocoon to block out the reality. I was too tired to deal with anything tonight, even Jacob. I knew, I'd have to talk to him sometimes but for now there was just me and the eternal darkness of sleep.