Arya watched as her cousin helped Elva with the bags on Kitlàn's saddle. It was mainly clothing and rations she was carrying, but Eila wanted to help despite the light load.
"You have your map?" Eila stated and Elva nodded, then patted the tube that was attached to the saddle horn. "Yes, ma'am."
Eila blushed. "And your sword." She pointed and Elva smiled. "Yes, ma'am."
"And plenty of food for both you and the new Rider? Water too?"
Elva reached up to untangle the nervous knot that had become of Eila's fingers. "I have nearly two bags of it. Clothing doesn't take up that much space. Kitlàn ate this morning and we have a few canteens and it's not hard to find clean water around here. I think we'll be okay."
"Okay…" Eila said quietly. "Be safe, please, Button." She whispered nearly inaudibly.
"Always. Take care of your arm, I know it hurts you. Are you sure you don't want to heal it?"
Eila nodded. "I'm sure. You stitched it. I kind of want to keep your handiwork."
Elva chuckled. "I'll see you when I return. This isn't goodbye either because I'm coming back."
Arya straightened. "Remember to come in through the common gates. I think it would be good for you and our new Rider and dragon to meet my people. Disobey those orders if they don't seem comfortable with the prospect and come here like we did with you and Eila. He is the first Urgal to become a Rider. If all goes according to the first course, Eila and I will be waiting for you; possibly Angela as well. Just give us word when you are soon to return." She interjected and watched the blush spread across Eila's cheeks. The half-Elf wasn't used to showing affection in front of people. They were told to keep the relationship a secret, and that's what they intended to do, even from Arya.
"Of course Ebrithil." Elva raised an eyebrow as she smiled at her teacher. She bowed and Arya frowned.
"Call me 'Arya', please, at least when we're by ourselves. Traditions are important, but we can live without them when in the privacy of our own home." She smiled. "Please be safe on your trip. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to contact any of us. You're a Rider and a powerful magician. Your mind can make the distance."
"Thank you, Arya." Elva smiled, then stepped forwards and pulled her into a quick embrace. "Remember to breathe when the baby moves. It'll help him settle down. I know that it bothers you sometimes." She whispered, and when she pulled away, she could see the anxiety in the Elf's eyes.
"Thank you." Arya gave a weary smile and straightened. "Be safe now. I'd prefer to have you both back in one piece."
"Of course, Arya." Elva bowed, then turned back to Eila and bowed to her as well.
Arya smiled more easily. Her apprentices were more affectionate with each other now than she'd ever seen them. They'd grown close, but their interactions were kept to seem like a close friendship in public. This was different.
"Please make it back, Elva, I can't stress that enough. The same goes for Kitlàn." Eila said quietly.
"You make it sound like I'm going to die. Du Weldenvarden is safe. We have food, magic… even weapons if needed, and Kitlàn's here too. It's going to be alright."
Eila rubbed the back of her neck and shifted. "I'm just nervous for you."
"I know, you're all fidgety." Elva smiled, then reached up and pressed a gentle kiss to her partner's lips. Once Eila recovered from her surprise, she chased the kiss, briefly deepening it until they pulled away. They embraced and held each other tightly, whispering sentiments Arya couldn't quite make out, even with her Elvish hearing. It's not like she was trying to disrupt their privacy either. She kept her distance and did her best to be invisible.
They let go and said their final goodbyes, and soon, Elva was on Kitlàn, buckling her feet into the stirrups.
"I'll be home soon, I promise." Elva said to them both, but Arya knew it was more directed towards Eila.
"Take care, Elva. You too Kitlàn. Safe travels and good luck to you both." Arya said with a smile.
Both of them thanked her and soon they were off and headed into the unfamiliar territories.
Arya turned to look over at Eila, who remained staring up at the sky, then approached her.
"They'll be okay. Kitlàn is fast for his size. It shouldn't be long before they're home." She said to hopefully reassure her cousin that everything was going to be okay.
Eila reluctantly pulled her eyes away from the sky and turned towards the Elf next to her. "I know." She sighed. "I can't help but worry though. I care so much for her."
"I understand." Arya offered a gentle, sympathetic smile. "It's never easy to watch someone you care about leave. Perhaps I'll help you scry her later on this evening or even tomorrow if you're up to it."
Eila gave a slight smile. "I'd like that very much, thank you." She thought for a moment. "Have you scryed Nasuada recently? I worry about the endeavors involving the Seithr Oil."
"I have not, but I did send the Faelnirv I promised as well as a few letters in terms of trade and other relations. I haven't heard anything involving the Seithr Oil, most likely because a city's wealth is wise to be kept secret."
Eila nodded then signed. "I just hope they're careful." She said quietly.
"I'm sure they've taken safety precautions."
"They have." A familiar voice commented and both women turned to find Angela leaning against the wall.
"Hello Angela." Arya said Eila just stared, blinking a few times.
"When did you-?" Eila asked, allowing her voice to fade.
"I've been here for a while. I wanted to see Elva off without embarrassing her." Angela smiled as she adjusted her clothing.
"Why didn't you reveal yourself?" Eila asked.
"Because she would've been under too much pressure to show her affections towards you. Both of you needed those moments before she left and I didn't want to interrupt. Despite Elva's boldness at times, she is quite shy about some things, especially when it comes to you, Eila."
A blush formed across the half-Elf's features as she looked down with a small smile.
"Well, you're special to her." Angela chuckled, which only caused Eila's blush to deepen.
"She's special to me as well."
The Herbalist grinned. "Judging by that kiss, I'd say she is."
When both thought it was impossible, Eila turned a darker shade of red as her blush reached her ears and chest. Arya even noticed her hands had turned pink.
"Oh there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I happen to think it's sweet." Angela said and watched Eila tuck her chin further against her chest.
"I'm going to go… read." Eila said shakily as she tried to look for a way out. "Please excuse me."
"Hold on, Eila. I want to talk to you. More specifically, about your arm." Arya reached out and laid a gentle hand on her cousin's shoulder.
Angela nodded, taking the hint that it might be a good opportunity to leave. "With that, I will see you both later as I have wet mortar on my porch that requires tending to. Take care."
The Herbalist bowed slightly, then proceeded to leave. When she was out of sight, Arya turned to look at her cousin, hoping to assess her state of mind. She wasn't expecting guilt to show itself in Eila's eyes.
"Arya I-" she defended the moment she saw her cousin's expression change. "I just… I don't-"
Arya remained silent to see how much information Eila would reveal on her own under her own pressures.
The half-Elf sighed in frustration, jumped in place a few times to release some energy, then sank to her knees. She let herself fall back into a sitting position, curling her legs up in tailor-fashion, then leaned forwards to let her head fall into her hands.
Concerned and worried, Arya eased herself down, taking her place across from her cousin. She straightened her tunic around the swell of her belly, then let a hand drift over the expanse when she felt the baby move. She took a deep breath, just as Elva had told her to do, but it didn't help with how much the feeling was starting to bother her. That was an issue to focus on at a later date, though.
"I hurt myself." Eila said quietly. "My father sometimes talks to me. He puts me down and fills my head with doubts. I think he's just a hallucination and Elva seems to think so too… but he's so real…"
Arya heard her voice crack, and with careful movements, she moved so she was sitting next to Eila. "How often do you see him?" She tried to keep the worry out of her voice. Anything involving Galbatorix was worrisome.
"I've seen him twice in the last three weeks. I saw him once in Urû'baen shortly after Eylörís hatched." Eila answered, but didn't move. Arya could see the trails of tears that leaked down the half-Elf's porcelain features. She wasn't as pale as she used to be. She looked healthier and much happier, especially since she and Elva had started courting. There were plenty of things that still haunted her, and Arya knew this was another thing to add to the already extensive list in her mind.
"I saw Burrow Grubs on my arms… I thought they were real… it's been so long since I've been poisoned… I forgot how to handle it."
Arya frowned. "You were poisoned?" She wanted to keep the questions brief.
Eila shook her head, allowing her hands to drop. She wiped her eyes. They were violet this time, like Elva's. "No… but I've been poisoned enough times to know how to handle hallucinations of a negative caliber… it's been a long time, and because of that, I'm out of practice. I didn't follow my procedure of distinguishing what was real and what wasn't, not completely at least. I panicked and tried to cut them out even though they weren't there." She wiped her eyes again. "He goes away when Elva is around. I don't have nightmares when she's around also."
Arya leaned over and pulled Eila close, and was thankful that the half-Elf let her head rest against her shoulder. It was a symbol of trust, Arya knew, and that was special coming from someone who hadn't been able to trust anyone all her life with the exception of perhaps one or two.
"I heard you mention Elva's handiwork. Was she the one who gave you stitches?" Arya asked gently.
"Yes. She helped me calm down and she spent the rest of the day with me. We just… laid in bed. I feel safe with her." Eila admitted softly. "If our relationship isn't allowed by the Eldunarí…"
"I'll make sure it will be allowed. They know you've been through a lot and they know Elva has too. You're good for each other. I can see it even when you two aren't showing affection publicly. It's been three weeks and I haven't seen you two do anything intimate aside from this morning."
"You walked in on us when we were in Elva's room shortly after she'd woken up. That was the first time. I didn't know Elva was going to kiss me today… I'm glad she did though." Eila said quietly.
"There hasn't been a day where she hasn't worn your necklace. I'd almost say she doesn't take it off."
"She doesn't. It's got enchantments for unbreaking, she wears it bathe in and also to sleep in."
Arya's eyebrows raised. "You two have bathed together?"
Eila startled. "What? N-no, she just tells me she wears it when she bathes. We haven't… we're not there yet. It'll be a while before we are, so don't worry."
"I didn't mean to pry. And it's okay with me if you two want to be intimate, whenever you both are ready."
With an embarrassed look, Eila pulled away slightly; retreating.
"Was that over the line?" Arya asked cautiously, hoping against hope that it wasn't.
Eila shook her head. "No, but… uh… it's just…" she shifted and Arya let go, then reached down to hold her cousin's hand instead. Eila found relief in that as she rubbed her thumb across smooth, blemishless skin. "Arya, I have bad experiences with sexual intimacy, this you know, but in what detail, I haven't told you and would prefer not to. Elva has had similar experiences because of her curse back during the times before Eragon mended it. Multiple times those sort of, uh… violations have happened to her. It just… it'll be a long while before either of us are comfortable doing something like that. That's all. You didn't cross a line."
To say Arya was horrified was an understatement. Elva was only three, she was still so young and even more so back during the war. "Thank you for telling this to me. Does Angela know? I ask because she can be… rather loud when it comes to… encouraging acts of intimacy. If she doesn't know, she needs to be told because of how sensitive this is to both you and Elva. I only want you two to be comfortable."
Eila shrugged. "I'm not sure if Angela knows, but I think it's up to Elva to tell her. She sees Angela like her mother and I know it's going to be difficult for her to express this. I'll talk to her about it when she gets back…" Worry spread over her features as her voice faded.
"Everything alright?" Arya asked gently.
"I'm just… worried about her. I know she has Kitlàn and Eylörís is staying with them for a little while, but she's going to turn back before sundown. That's why she wasn't here with me to see Elva and Kitlàn off." Eila felt a bit better after saying it out loud.
"They'll be okay. Elva is incredibly strong, especially with Kitlàn by her side, she'll be able to communicate with us if something goes wrong." Arya smiled hopefully as Eila nodded. Silence fell between them while the half-Elf drew herself into thought. Her mind was buzzing with concerns.
"I'm also… worried about the new Rider." She admitted quietly, shoulders sinking.
"Why is that?" Arya asked calmly, giving Eila's hand a squeeze.
"I was… I was forced to do a lot of twisted things to Urgals while in Urû'baen. I had a mask I wore whenever I was to speak publicly or participate in sessions of torture, enemy or ally. It didn't really matter." She looked down guiltily and started playing with Arya's fingers. "I, um… I'm just worried that I know the Kull who is the new Rider. I've done… a lot of really bad things to their race and I regret all of it."
Concern washed over Arya. That could potentially be very bad. "It wasn't your choice to do those things, was it?"
"No." Eila's voice had become hard. "There were a few years where Galbatorix had broken me to the point of… I guess it was insanity. I was just as bad as he was during that time." Eila wiped a tear away from her face. "Shruikan gave me a memory of my mother. It was twisted and dark because of the pain he was in… but I could make her features out just barely and connect it with the picture my father had of her." She hung her head. "That's what brought me back from the darkness. It's the only memory I have of her… Arya, I love her so much and I never got to know her… it hurts in an odd way when the people here say I look like her or sound like her. She was filled with so much good… it just ignites the hatred I have for my father and it burns hotly in my chest because I know he hurt her like he hurt me. She survived for almost seventy years through his abuse. I eventually broke… she didn't. She broke when she died and I was the one that ultimately killed her."
Arya looked pointedly at her. "I told you not to think like that. None of that was within your control. Her death was never on your hands. It was never your fault. It fell on Galbatorix' head because he didn't give her any aid." She said sternly and Eila shrank in on herself slightly.
A wash of emotions flitted across her features before she shook her head to clear her mind.
Eila paused and bit her lip, then looked up to face her cousin more directly, then reached out to cautiously place a hand on Arya's abdomen, watching the Elf closely in case she was uncomfortable. "You're going to be a great mother to this little one. You're so kind and gentle, but firm when you need to be. That sort of grounding is good for helping young minds to learn." She looked up. "I know you were considering trying a natural birth without aid unless you needed it. May I beg that you let the spellcasters aid in, at the very least, through the second stage of labor?"
Arya looked confused and guilty that she was confused, so Eila clarified. "The part that hurts… basically. It's when the child is moving through and out of you."
With a slight cringe, Arya nodded. "I'll think about it. I worry about how I'll feel if I didn't even attempt to even…" she shook her head. "I won't feel worthy of being a mother if I don't feel what all other races, especially humans, feel when they go into labor."
Eila shifted uncomfortably with a painful frown. "Arya… I miscarried at fourteen weeks. The chances of that happening would have been low had I been healthy and cared for. That being said, my progression was still much like yours because I am half Elvish. I almost died because of that. Not only was I malnourished, but I was injured too. I was torn on the inside and bleeding profusely. If Thorn hadn't been paying attention to me, nobody would have known and I would have bled out on the floor of my room and died. That is the most scared I've ever been because I didn't know what to do or how to get help. I'm not scared of death, I've been within inches of it possibly hundreds of times, but it was the idea of my father mutilating my child that scared me. It was the idea that my own body would be used for dark intent that scared me too. Please, with everything I have left in me I beg you to reconsider. I don't want to lose you, you're the only family I have left…" her eyes were filled with the tears that would eventually stain her cheeks. Her voice choked off and she had to look down, trying to compose herself, but any mention or memory of her child caused so much pain. It was worth it if it saved Arya's life.
"I'm not going to die… if something goes awry, I'm going to have my spellcasters with me for that emergency. I just want to know what it feels like." Arya stressed, then softened and reached up to brush a strand of hair behind Eila's pointed ear before wiping her tears away.
"Not feeling pain or not experiencing a painful labor doesn't mean you're not worthy of motherhood, Arya. Pain doesn't always mean a prevailing victory or proof that you've done well. Pain can also mean you've failed, and depending on how you handle your choices, you can manipulate that outcome for success. Having your spellcasters aid you through your entire labor process will ensure your survival as well as your son's. Going through any part of that process on your own increases your risks of complications and if I were you, I wouldn't want to take any chances. Forgive me if I've overstepped, but the survival of my family is the most important thing to me. You must understand that everyone I've ever cared for has either died or left me. Eylörís, Elva, and you are the only exceptions. You're my family. So is Fírnen and Kitlàn. I hope you'll truly reconsider." Eila straightened, then pulled away and worked to stand. Once up, she held her hands out for Arya and helped her up when the gesture was accepted.
"I need to go unwind." Eila said after taking a deep breath, clearly agitated.
Arya nodded, but remained silent. Eila had never spoken to her like that before. She watched the half-Elf walk towards the doorway, stop, think, and turn back. Eila pressed a kiss to Arya's cheek once they were close, then gave her a hug before turning and walking off.
There was a conversation in store for both of them, and Arya could feel it. She just wondered when that would be or how long it would take. She just worried about getting into a possibly irreparable argument. There was a lot she didn't know about Eila, and a lot she worried about, more for Eila's sake and safety than her own.
Eila was just trying to help and she knew it.
After rubbing her face a few times, Arya decided she was going to go take a walk to also unwind.
A/N: Well, things are about to happen. I hope you liked this one! I don't have much to say aside from that I haven't proofread this again, but I'll do that later. Maybe in a few hours. Thank you for reading! Now go eat something if you haven't and go drink water. That's important.
-Lady Arlo