AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is rated M.
On The Edge
Chapter 45
I AM THE FIRE
LOS ANGELES
"We're going to be landing in a few," Bucky said as he looked across the jet to where Zed was sitting with Addison sleeping on his lap. "You might want to wake her up."
"I'm not waking her up until Nancy tells me she has to be buckled," Zed said quietly as he softly ran his fingers through her hair. "She needs the sleep."
"So do you," Tracey added.
"Eh… I'll be fine. I'm getting more sleep at night than she is these days," he said through a yawn.
"Zed, dear, can you…" Nancy said quietly, pointing to Addison. "We're about to land."
He nodded and leaned down to whisper, "Baby… you need to wake up. We're about to land."
She mumbled something unintelligible before snuggling into him more.
"She's so cute when she's like that," Bonzo laughed. "Like a baby tiger or some shit. All cute and cuddly but could totally still fuck you up."
Zed chuckled quietly in agreement. "Adds… Baby…" he whispered again. "Time to wake up my sleeping beauty…" he kissed her cheek and started to quietly sing, hoping it would wake her. "She loves a boy so much… she wants him to steal her breath..."
Tracey sighed dreamily. "And you're even cuter like that…"
"He's mine…" Addison mumbled through a yawn.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, Sis," Bucky snickered.
She sat up and kissed Zed's cheek sleepily as he leaned over to buckle her in. "Why did you let me fall asleep?"
"Um, because you needed it," Zed replied with a well duh look on his face. "And it's not like the flight from Sacramento to Los Angeles was all that long."
"I can sleep after we meet with the board tomorrow." She looked over at Tracey, "Is Mase meeting us at the airfield or at the rehearsal space?"
"He's driving us," Tracey answered. "Although how you're planning on putting in a full rehearsal after just playing a full concert, is beyond my comprehension. I'm fucking exhausted."
Addison yawned and shrugged. "Yeah, well with my setlist notes gone and all the 'helpful revisions' the board has been sending my way lately, I don't really have a choice."
"I'm calling practices at two," Bucky said looking at his watch. "You guys need to get some actual sleep tonight. There's no way I'm letting any of you in front of the board in your current state."
Addison smiled sweetly and flipped him off.
"Thanks for making my point for me," he mumbled as the plane's wheels hit the tarmac.
A few minutes later they were making their way over to towards where Mason and Bree were waiting for them.
"Zed!" Zoey called out, running towards them.
Zed caught her mid-air and hugged her close. "What are you doing here?" he asked when he finally set her down onto her feet. "You've got school in the morning."
Bree laughed. "Did you really think that was going to stop her from coming and picking you up from the airport? The kid's a nighthawk just like you were in high school."
Zed shook his head and looked at his little sister. "I'm going to go ahead and answer the question I know you're about to ask… No."
"That's not fair! I didn't even…" Zoey began to protest.
"Oh, so you weren't going to ask if you could come watch rehearsals?"
Zoey glared at her brother. "You are so annoying."
Addison giggled. "Don't worry, you're not going to miss much… And we'll be at the house tomorrow when you get out of school. Maybe we can grab dinner before we fly back out? We don't need to be back in Sacramento until almost midnight tomorrow."
Her eyes lit up. "Could we?"
"Of course!" Zed exclaimed, messing up the top of his sister's hair. "We can probably even pick you up from school. But… you've got to get some sleep. I remember all too well how rough that 6 am wake-up call can be."
Zoey rolled her eyes. "See if I come welcome you at the airport next time, Mr. Buzzkill."
"Come on, Zoey…" Bree said with a large smile, trying to hold back her laughter. "I promised Mom I'd have you back at the house as soon as possible."
"We'll catch you guys tomorrow afternoon," Bonzo said waving as he followed Bree and Zoey to the car.
"You wanna catch a ride to the house with them?" Bucky asked Eliza.
"Are you kidding me? And miss the chance to see Mason embarrass himself behind a drum kit?" She smiled, leaning around him to look at Mason and waving.
"Good to see you to Eliza," Mason laughed, still hugging Tracey.
Bucky looked at his watch again. "Well… Let's get this show on the road."
ZzZzZzZzZzZ
As the last echoes faded from the amplifiers, Addison finally looked up to see the reactions of her fellow board members. She'd been too nervous to look during the set, but now… all she could do was take a deep breath and wait for their inevitable criticism.
Bob was the first one to stand up and clap. "Well done!" he exclaimed as he walked towards them. "I'm so glad you took my suggestions to heart. It's a much more diverse mix of songs than what you had originally proposed."
Addison fought the urge to roll her eyes. Of course, Bob liked the new arrangements, it was practically identical to what he had suggested at the first meeting.
"I agree with Bob," Harrison said as he joined them. "It's important that our Pop and R&B artists are acknowledged as well. Good job, Addison. Especially with your song…" he shook his head in disbelief. "Are you sure you don't want it released? It would be radio gold."
She forced a smile to her face. Nothing about what they had just played felt right and having to sit down behind a piano and sing a song she had written about Zed breaking her heart made her want to vomit. "I'm sure."
"I never thought I'd see you guys play Party In The USA," Pearce chuckled from his seat.
Addison, Zed, and Mason all flipped him off in unison.
"Your opinion on the matter means less than nothing," Addison snapped. "You're not even a real board member."
Pearce went to stand, but Missy stopped him. "Neither is your criminal of a former step-brother, but he still gets a vote."
"And my vote is that the set sucked," Bucky quipped as he stood up. "No offense, Sis."
Addison shrugged. "None taken, Brother-dear… I'm with you on this one."
Bucky turned to address the rest of the board. "You all butchered what could have been an amazing performance because you're too concerned with possibly offending a few artists that Bamm! has under contract." He looked over to Jamie, "It's bullshit and you know it."
"Well, it's a good thing you're opinion was out-voted," Missy said sweetly as she stood up and straightened her light pink pencil skirt. "Why should certain genres from Bamm!'s extensive portfolio be ignored simply because my daughter is attempting to live out some unfulfilled fantasy of being a 'rock star'."
"And you…" Bucky started. "You're the reason the setlist had to be re-worked in the first place! Why do you constantly feel the need to sabotage everything that Addie does? Do you know how much work she has had to put in to constantly revamp this performance every single time you decide to fuck with it?"
"It's not like she's busy doing anything else… or is she?" Missy arched her brow and smiled before looking at her daughter. "Addison, darling… It was perfectly... adequate."
"Wow, Mother… Thanks," she replied sarcastically.
Missy gave her a small shrug. "Adequate is far better than I expected… we should have brunch again soon…" she looked down to see Zed's arm around her daughter's waist for comfort and sneered. "On second thought… maybe not." She rolled her eyes in frustration. "Always such a disappointment… no matter what I try and do for you..."
"This is some fucking bullshit…" Bucky mumbled as he grabbed his cigarettes and stormed towards the exit.
Jamie stood up and followed him out.
"Well…" Missy said, picking up her jacket and delicately folding it over her arm. "I believe we're done here. Pearce?"
He grabbed his blazer from the back of his chair and followed her out.
"I stand by what I said," Bob said quietly.
"So do I," Harrison agreed. "I'm assuming you'll be recording the necessary backing tracks at the downtown studio?"
"I've already blocked the time," Mason answered from behind his drum kit.
Harrison nodded and looked down at his notes. "Accommodations have already been made at the Ritz in Cleveland… I'll have my secretary email you the rehearsal schedules and itineraries, as well as a list from PR of pre-approved answers to any questions the press may ask… Do you need the number for our stylist?"
Addison shook her head. "No. I've got my own. She's already been vetted and my secretary should have her info if you need it."
He nodded and looked up with a smile. "Well then, I guess we'll see you next week."
As soon as the door closed behind them Addison closed her eyes and exhaled. "Give it to me straight, Tracey. No bullshit."
"She was flawless…" he said from his seat in the back. "A complete bitch… but utterly flawless. And how dare she say that you're just attempting to live out some unfulfilled fantasy of being a 'rock star'?! You are out there on stage every show being more of a goddamned rock star than anyone I have ever seen! Ugh! How did I ever worship that woman!"
Addison's eyes opened and she glared at him.
"Um… she meant the set," Mason called out.
"Oh!" Tracey exclaimed standing up and looking contrite. "Sorry, doll-face… The set was… decent?"
Eliza scoffed. "Bucky was right. That set sucked… and your mom is a fucking bitch."
Addison sighed and leaned into Zed's shoulder. "I know…" She stood up straight and dropped her head into her hands, screaming, "FUCK!"
Zed rubbed her shoulders. "Hey… it'll be okay."
"Nothing about this is fucking okay!" She straightened herself out and let out a cleansing breath. "I need to play something… anything… to get the taste of fucking pre-pot-head Miley Cyrus out of my fucking mouth."
Zed's shoulders shook with silent laughter as he leaned down and stole a kiss. "Anything you need, Baby. I'm right beside you."
Eliza stood up and walked toward them, "Move, Mason."
He looked at her dumbfounded. "What? Why? This is my kit?"
"And I'm borrowing it," Eliza said shooing him away.
Mason rolled his eyes and gave her his sticks, turning towards Tracey. "Wanna go grab a drink? I need to decompress after this shit."
"And miss this?" he said, grabbing an extra guitar from the rack and placing the strap over his head. "Not a chance." He looked at Addison and smiled. "Whenever you're ready Honey Bunny."
Addison nodded and began to pluck out a simple bass line.
Eliza picked it up quickly and joined in.
"Take me I'm alive
Always was a girl with a wicked mind
But everything looks better when the sun goes down…"
Zed picked up the tune she began to sing, followed almost immediately by Tracey joining in on the rhythm.
"I had everything
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night…
Then your eyes
Your eyes
I can see in your eyes
Your eyes…
You make me wanna die"
Mason sat down in one of the previously occupied folding chairs and watched with amazement. Call and responses flowed effortlessly as they worked seamlessly to build a completely spontaneous song with ease. He'd been in the music business for years and seen a lot of bands, but none of them compared to what he was seeing now.
"I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
And every time I look inside your eyes...
You make me wanna die…"
"What's going on?" Jamie asked quietly as he and Bucky sat down behind Mason.
"She's venting," Bucky answered with a small laugh.
"Taste me drink my soul
Show me all the things that I should know
When there's a blue moon on the rise
I had everything
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night…"
"Jesus…" Jamie said, spellbound by Addison's stage presence. "She's fantastic."
"Then your eyes
Your eyes
I can see in your eyes
Your eyes
Everything in your eyes
You eyes…"
"This is nothing," Bucky smiled. "You should see her in front of an audience."
"Careful there, B…" Mason warned with a laugh. "She'll kick your ass if you say much more."
"You make me wanna die...
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
And every time I look inside your eyes...
You make me wanna die…"
The music slowed as Addison looked over to Zed. She took a step closer to him, turning her body so that he was all she could see.
"I would die for you my love
My love…"
Zed smiled and closed the distance between them, leaning over to brush a kiss to her lips.
"I would lie for you my love
My love…"
"I would steal for you my love
My love…"
"And I would die for you my love..."
"My love…"
Jamie shook his head in disbelief as the tempo picked up once again. "Their chemistry when they actually play together is incredible!"
"We'll burn up in the light
And every time I look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light, look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light, look inside your eyes...
You make me wanna die."
Jamie was on his feet, clapping before the final chord had even been struck. "Holy hell, kid!"
Addison's head snapped over in his direction. "Shit… I didn't think you were still here?"
"Well, I'm fucking glad I was! Addison… that was… incredible doesn't even cover it! To hell with what you played for the board. THAT is what I want to see on stage in Cleveland!"
She flashed him a tight smile and took off her bass. "That was just me blowing off steam with my friends."
"And it was amazing! The energy… the chemistry..." Jamie looked down at his watch. "Why don't you come grab something to eat with me. We have some things we need to talk about."
"Actually, I have plans…"
Zed rolled his eyes and gave her a small push forward. "She'd love to."
She looked back at him in disbelief.
"Go, Adds. I'll go pick up Zo from school and take her out for a while. This is far more important."
"Are you sure?"
He nodded and pulled her back in for another kiss.
Addison smiled against his lips. "Okay… I'll see you in a little bit."
ZzZzZzZzZzZ
A few blocks from the rehearsal space, Addison sat in the back of a dimly lit restaurant across the booth from where her Uncle Jamie was perusing a menu.
"I think I'll take the filet, medium rare…" he set the menu down and looked at Addison expectantly.
"Um… Tequila."
He raised a brow at her.
"With Perrier?"
Jamie chuckled and looked at the waitress. "She'll have the fillet as well." He turned back to Addison and shook his head. "If you're going to drink Tequila, at least have something substantial in your system."
Addison rolled her eyes and smiled. "I've been drinking tequila since I was thirteen. I'm far past needing to eat with it."
"Humor me, kid."
She rolled her eyes again but nodded. "So…" she finally said once the waitress walked off. "What is it that we need to talk about."
"A few things, actually… But first, your mother."
"What little appetite I had just vanished with those two little words."
Jamie stifled a laugh as he loosened his tie. "I know your mom has done everything in her power to screw the tribute show over. I'm pretty sure she's using it as her last bit of revenge for your father divorcing her," he shook his head in disgust. "That woman is never going to be happy."
"Yeah...well, she's still a board member with two votes in her pocket… And then when you add in Bob and Harrison's constant 'corrections' and 'adjustments' that they've continually been sending my way, you end up with the cluster fuck of a disaster you witnessed back at the warehouse."
"Addison… I'm going to say something that your dad used to say with some regularity…"
"And what would that be?"
"Fuck the board."
She nearly choked on the sip of water she had just taken. "Excuse me, what?"
"Fuck. The. Board. The world has enough cover bands that would be more than willing to play the songs that would make the board happy. You are Dale Donnelly's daughter. You more than proved it when you chewed our asses out in the board room. Take that same energy and passion that I witnessed then and just now when you were playing for the hell of it, and make the playlist your own. You are the only one that knows what your dad would really want."
Addison sighed and looked up to the ceiling. "I thought I knew… I had everything worked out before my mother convinced every artist I had lined up to pull out."
"Not everyone."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Jamie smiled. "I may have kept something from the board… but we'll get back to that in a minute. More important than the show…"
"What could possibly be more important than the show?" Addison asked, cutting him off.
"You."
She rolled her eyes. "What about me?"
"How long have you been performing on stage again?"
"I don't know what you're talking about?" she smiled innocently.
Jamie laughed. "Don't bullshit a bullshitter, kid. I've been in this business since before you were born. I know a professional when I see one."
Addison sighed and took a deep breath. "Fine… But what I'm about to say does not leave this table. I'm telling you this as family, not as anyone associated with Bamm! Got it?"
He nodded his head and leaned in closer.
"Bucky called me back in August asking if I could bail him out after the bassist in one of the bands he represents left."
"Bartholomew is still working as a manager? I thought he gave that up after you?"
She nodded her head. "Yeah… three bands… sponsored tour. He's really good at it."
Jamie's eyes widened. "How in the hell have you two managed to keep this quiet? Why haven't you asked for a Bamm! Scout to come see you? Or send us a demo at the very least? If what I heard and saw today is any indication of what you're playing on tour right now…"
She held up a hand for him to stop. "You know how I feel about using my name."
"But…"
She shook her head and cut him off again. "I know my brother and Mason sent in a demo of all three bands. If it happens, it happens because it's earned, not because of me. Is that clear?"
He let out a slow breath. "You never did make things easy."
"Nope. Why should I start now?"
He smiled and shook his head. "Okay, kid. Have it your way."
"Thank you… now back to what you were saying about keeping things from the board?"
ZzZzZzZzZzZ
Addison was still reeling as she walked through the doors of her father's house in Malibu.
"You're back!" Tracey exclaimed running over and wrapping her up in a hug. "I hope you don't mind, but I totally swiped these Manolo's from your closet."
"Be lucky I managed to get him out of your shoe closet with just those. I'm pretty sure he'd still be in there if I hadn't promised to take him shopping before you guys left," Mason said from his usual spot on the sofa.
Addison shook her head, still in a daze, and looked down to Tracey's feet where her soft blue leather Manolo Blahniks currently were. "Oh… yeah… I didn't even realize I still had those. You can have them."
Tracey's jaw dropped. "Have? Like for keepsies?"
She nodded again. "Yeah, I don't think I've worn pastels since Junior Year of high school… Where's everyone else?"
Tracey hugged her tighter and kissed her cheek. "You are seriously the best!"
Mason stood up and extracted Tracey from around her. "Your brother and Eliza are upstairs. Z and Bonzo are out by the pool writing. Bree had to bring Zoey to a study session, but she said she'd be back before you guys had to fly out so we can talk style strategy."
She nodded her head again and walked toward the glass doors that led to the backyard.
"Ever since you walked away, I can't wait to taste your breath
Sunset on my black parade, and I can't wait to see what's next
When the clothes are off, and the phones are off
And the lights are on, 'cause you turn me on…"
Addison leaned against the door frame, watching as Zed leaned over his guitar and scribbled down what he had just sung in his notebook, while Bonzo continued to tinker around with a building bass line to accompany.
"Cover my mouth with yours so there's nothing to say
Even the silence that I have with you is okay
Let's do it like it's the first time, like it's the first time…"
She couldn't help the giggle that slipped from her lips. "Well if that's what you want, we should probably make our way back inside to the foyer."
As soon as he heard her voice he tossed his guitar onto the lounge chair next to him and was on his feet walking towards her. "Fuck, I missed you," he said in a husky voice as he pulled her into his arms.
"I was only gone a few hours."
"Still too long..." he whispered brushing her hair behind her ear and pulling her in for a kiss.
She relaxed the moment his lips touched hers. "Can we go for a drive?"
An hour and a half later, Zed pulled his motorcycle over onto the same lookout point that they always went to in the Hollywood Hills. He killed the engine and took off his helmet, just as Addison was pulling off hers. "You wanna stay here or climb?" he asked, looking over his shoulder.
Addison smiled and kicked her leg around his waist, maneuvering herself so she was straddling his lap. "Climb… but first…" she grabbed onto the collar of his leather jacket and pulled him down for a kiss. As he laced his fingers through her hair to deepen it, she pulled back with a smile. "Let's go."
They climbed over the security fence and down the hill towards the base of the "H" in relative silence. It wasn't until they were seated at the top, overlooking Los Angeles that she spoke again. "I'm completely redoing the setlist."
"Baby…" he started to protest, only to be cut off with her lips against his.
"I need to do it."
"What did Jamie say?"
"Fuck the board."
Zed threw his head back and laughed. "What?"
"That was my reaction," she smiled. "But he also reminded me that I know better than anyone else what my daddy would want… With my mom sabotaging my original set, and Lacey stealing my notes for the new one, and the board trying to appease everyone, I lost track of what really matters…" she leaned her head against his shoulder and looked up at him. "He also didn't tell the board that my godfather agreed to perform."
Zed's jaw dropped. "Slash? He's in?"
Addison nodded excitedly. "We have to keep it quiet, but yeah. The current setlist is already board approved… they won't know if we make any changes until they see the show."
"Woah…"
Her eyes widened as she nodded again. "There's a part of me that's terrified to go against the board, but the other part…" she sighed and looked up at the sky. "The other part of me knows that Uncle Jamie is right. I'm Addison Donnelly. I need to make this set my own… I need to remember who I am…" Her fingers began to move to a silent rhythm that ran through her head.
"Am I brave enough?
Am I strong enough?
To follow the desire that burns from within
To push away my fear… To stand where I'm afraid…"
Zed wrapped his arms around her.
"I've been sacrificed
My heart's been cauterized
Hanging on to hope
Shackled by the ghost of what I once believed
That I could never be...
I am through with this
Cuz I am more than this
I don't believe I'll fall from grace
Won't let the past decide my fate
Take the love that I've embraced
I promise to myself, alone and no one else
My flame is rising higher…"
He could tell the exact moment she made up her mind. The fire that once burned bright behind her eyes was back, brighter than ever. He loved her with every fiber of his being, but this was the Addison Donnelly that he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. The drive and determination, the passion, that made her who she was and was always meant to be, was back.
"I am the fire
I am burning brighter
Roaring like a storm
And I am the one I've been waiting for
Screaming like a siren
Alive and burning brighter
I am the fire..."
"About fucking time," Zed said with a large smile as he pulled her in for a kiss.
SACRAMENTO
"You got two black eyes from lovin' too hard
And a black motorcycle that matches your blackest soul
I wouldn't change ya, oh
Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no…" Addison sang as she stood in the back kitchen of the tour bus mixing drinks for her, Tracey, Willa, and Wynter.
"Ooh, I like that one," Tracey said as he reached into her purse and pulled out her replacement notebook.
Willa laughed. "Yeah, it's very subtle. How many people do we know who drives a black motorcycle and have a thing where they always get punched in the face… Nope, no one would ever know who you're talking about," she teased.
Addison turned around and flipped her off before she continued.
"The black magic of Mulholland Drive
Swimming pools under desert skies…
Just another LA devotee…"
She passed a glass over to Wynter. "Try it."
Wynter took a hesitant sip, her eyes widening in surprise. "Huh… not too bad. Since when do you drink anything other than tequila?"
Addison shook her head and smiled. "It is tequila. I just added mixers so you two would drink it," she said pointing to her and Tracey. "Thanks to Salvador Santos' endless gifts, we've got more tequila on this bus than even Wills and I could drink."
"Speak for yourself," Willa laughed, taking Wynter's drink and sampling it. "This is actually pretty good. Make me one while you're at it?"
Addison rolled her eyes playfully and turned back around to continue mixing. "Sunsets on the evil eye
Invisible to the Hollywood shrine
Always on the hunt for a little more time
Just another LA devotee…"
"Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh…" Tracey sang as he bopped his head along.
"Why the hell is the first thing I hear when I walk onto this goddamn bus have to be your voice?" Lacey screamed as she stormed into the kitchen, glaring at Addison. She turned to Tracey. "And just where the hell have you been?" she snapped. "And don't give me your typical 'spa day' excuse! Your face isn't red enough to have had a facial."
"That depends on what you mean by facial," Willa said making all of them laugh and Lacey practically growl in annoyance.
Tracey fought back his smile. "Shopping trip," he said pointing to the bags from his excursion with Mason that sat on the table. He held his foot up, showing off the Monolo Blahnik's he snatched from Addison's closet. "You like?"
"You spent all day shopping? But what about…"
"What about what?" He interrupted. "It's not like there were any pressing band matters to attend to. It's not like you were all of a sudden going to show us these mysterious new songs you claim you've written. It's not like we should be getting in extra rehearsals and perfecting our set so we're ready for when we play the Troubadour show in front of Mega Records…"
"Tracey…" Addison warned quietly as she handed him a drink. "Deep breath…"
Tracey closed his eyes and counted backward, trying to calm himself down.
"Well maybe if you hadn't been out shopping all day with that one, then maybe I would have shared them with you!" Lacey suddenly smiled. "You know I'd never bring a song to the table without your input. Our best songs are always when you and I collaborate. Why don't you and I spend tomorrow together going over everything."
"But it's our off day in San Francisco…"
"And we have the day after the show off as well before we drive to Fresno."
He took a deep breath and looked over to Addison, exchanging a quick worried glance with her before turning back to Lacey. "I guess we can do that."
"Great!" With that, Lacey turned around with a swish of her long blond ponytail and walked towards the back of the bus.
"Crap…" Tracey sighed. "I'm going to miss all the fun."
"It's a good thing Mason took you shopping today, then," Willa said as she reached into his drink and stole his cherry.
He nodded his head and looked at the bags, "True… but not the same as being able to watch everyone be styled head to toe."
Addison hugged him tightly. "I'll send pictures of every step of the process."
"You better," he warned. "And I want pics of Mason and you know who too! I can't even begin to imagine how hot they look all cleaned up!"
"I love him like a brother, but even I have to admit that Z wears Gucci well," Wynter said with a dreamy sigh.
"I promise I'll have Bree send them your way…" Addison told him, ignoring Wynter. "And this just means that you'll have to have your own private fitting at Gucci in a few days."
Tracey's eyes lit up at the idea.
"But in the meantime…"
He nodded his head. "Yup… I'll be on my best behavior and try to find out how much Lacey knows."
Willa draped her arm around Tracey and kissed his cheek. "And we'll keep an eye on Jacey."
LOS ANGELES
"You know that part in the movies when the characters say 'This is the life?" Bonzo asked as he sat down in one of the leather chairs in the private dressing room and took a sip of his complimentary champagne. "I think this is when they would say it."
Eliza rolled her eyes. "Isn't this a bit much?"
"Shhh… you're ruining the illusion."
Addison laughed as she looked at them in the mirror while the seamstress pinned the hem of the plum chiffon dress she was wearing. "Eliza, don't think you're getting out of this. There's a rack with your name literally pinned on it full of outfits for you to try on."
"Why?" she whined.
"Because you're dating a member of the Bamm! Board," Bree said as she walked out of one of the changing rooms, "who is also Dale's stepson… there are going to be crowd shots while his video is being played and while the tribute concert goes on. There is a damn good chance you're going to be on camera at some point."
"And why does that mean I have to be poked and prodded and shoved into Gucci?"
"Because Bamm! is more than generously compensating me to make sure that you all look camera ready, and Adds and Zed have always looked their best in Gucci, and I don't have the time to drag everyone all over the place. So Gucci is our one-stop shop."
Eliza shook her head. "Addison… about the ceremony… I have a feeling."
Addison looked back up and met her eyes in the mirror. "Uh-oh… what kind of feeling?"
Eliza shook her head again. "Nothing bad… And I mean, it's not like you don't already know the exposure risk… It's just…" she shrugged. "I feel like this is going to be bigger than any of us realize. Like it's going to change everything."
"Well then you should definitely be thanking me for dressing you in Gucci," Bree muttered. "Especially when you step onto that red carpet."
"Read carpet? What the hell?"
Bonzo laughed and held up his champagne glass. "So glad it's you and not me."
"Um, just because we're not walking the carpet does not mean we're not going to be there. I had them pull suits for you too," Bree said while she went to check on Bucky in one of the other rooms.
Bonzo swallowed loudly as Eliza started to laugh.
"Uhoh," Zed said as he walked out from his changing room. "Looks like someone just witnessed Hurricane Bree…"
Addison looked up at the sound of his voice. Her breath catching as she saw him in the fitted floral and plum suit that perfectly complimented her own dress. Her mouth watered. "Everyone out…" she whispered.
"What was that, ma'am?" the seamstress asked around a mouth full of pins.
Addison cleared her throat and spoke louder. "I need the room for a few minutes. Everyone out."
Bonzo shook his head and laughed as he stood up, "Yeah… We'll see you in a half-hour."
"That's plenty of time…" Zed said as his eyes took Addison in.
"Oh no, you don't!" Bree exclaimed, storming back into the room. "Bamm! might be paying me, but they are not covering for me at work. Do you have any idea how many clients I had to reschedule for this afternoon to make up for being here right now? Do that on your own time, not mine!"
Addison and Zed both looked at her in shock as she turned on her heels and went back to finish fitting Bucky.
"What was that you were saying about Hurricane Bree?" Bonzo laughed again, sitting back down.
Addison shook her head and laughed, but the moment her eyes met Zed's all she could do was whimper. "I've missed you in Gucci."
"I could say the same about you… Girl you look delicious, oh I mean gorgeous," he sang, making her giggle. "Seriously though … you look like you again."
"I feel like me, again…" she eyed him up and down. "You should get another pair of those shoes while we're here."
He looked down at his own feet and chuckled. "Yeah?"
"Definitely."
He took a step closer to her, whispering in her ear, "You know… If I remember right… there's a La Perla right down the street. We should go there next."
She smiled up at him, running her tongue along her lower lip. "Yeah?"
"Definitely."
SAN FRANCISCO
"Ohmygodthankgoodnessyouareback…" Tracey rushed out as he grabbed Addison's arm and walked her towards the back door of the venue and outside to the rear parking lot.
"I'm taking it your day with Lacey was eventful?"
"Yes and no?" he said unsure of himself. "It really depends on what you mean by eventful."
"Okay, then why don't you start by telling me what you did."
He held up a finger and shook his head. "Absolutely not. We're starting with how incredibly fucking gorgeous you looked in those pictures!"
"Well if you insist," she laughed, pulling him down to sit.
Tracey gasped. "Are those new?" he asked, pointing to her feet.
Addison held up her foot, allowing the sun to catch on the gold spikes adorning the snakeskin heels. "Uh-huh! You like?"
"Um, understatement! They're fabulous! Ugh! I wish I had been there today!"
"Just wait until you see the rack waiting for you… and don't worry, I personally picked out shoes to go with each. Bree wasn't happy that I vetoed the loafers in favor of the stilettos, but…" she shrugged.
"Have I ever mentioned how much I love you, Honey Bunny?"
"A time or two," she smiled. "But just know that I love you just as much, and I missed the shit out of you. If I didn't have to rehearse the entire day tomorrow, I'd totally come with you just so I could see your face!"
"Speaking of rehearsals…" he said leaning in closer. "How'd the new set work out? I am dying to hear it all put together!"
Addison smiled wide. "Perfect. It's everything it should be. The three of us meshed like old times, and the harmonies flowed, and ugh! It was brilliant!" Her face suddenly dropped and she sighed.
"Uhoh… what's that for?"
"I just wish I didn't feel fucking obligated to play the one song my daddy requested."
He threw his arms around her and pulled her in for a tight hug. "Addison, listen to me…"
The sound of Tracey using her actual full first name made her sit up and pay attention.
"That song is beautiful. I completely understand why he wanted you to play it."
"I feel horrible that Z has to play it though. It's not fair to him. We're supposed to have moved on from our 'break up' and here I am forcing him to play guitar while I sing about it."
He kissed the top of her head and pulled away so he could look at her. "Nobody forces Zed Fucking Necrodopolus to do anything he doesn't want to do," he said with a large smile. "He loves you and he knows that you love him… Hell, half the Zombies setlist is filled with songs he wrote about the breakup. We still play songs you wrote about him, too. And we all still play those songs every night because they're good fucking songs. People relate to them, just like they will relate to the one you wrote. It's heartbreakingly beautiful and more about missing him than about thinking he's a gigantic asshole… which he can be," he added, making her giggle. "Stop beating yourself up over it. Got it?"
She arched her brow and scowled.
"So… back to my time with Lacey yesterday," he said, changing the subject.
"How bad is it?"
He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't find out much, but she's always been good about keeping secrets. She played two songs for me, which were so obviously yours… anyone who has ever heard something you wrote would be able to tell…" He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "She even had the audacity to claim that she spent the last few months writing them… please." He pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, offering Addison a puff before he continued. "She's sticking with the story that she's not ready for the rest of the band to work on them yet, even though they're completely flawless… I mean, how could they not be, they're your songs."
Addison's shoulders shook with silent laughter at his remarks.
"I honestly have no idea how she's planning on pulling whatever it is she's planning off…" he shook his head in disbelief. "Anyway, other than that, she spent most of the day bitching about everyone and anyone. How dare the Pack be putting in so much extra rehearsal time, why are they trying to outshine her? Why has Zed been able to write so many new songs during the tour, why have their sets improved so much, why is their show so much better, blah, blah, blah…" He sighed dramatically. "It was fucking exhausting… and that was before she started going off on you and Jacey."
"Jacey? Me, I expected. But Jacey? I thought the two of them were thick as thieves… literally."
Tracey laughed. "That's what I thought, too! But she went on and on about how she feels like he's keeping things from her and, ugh…" he dropped his head in his hands and laughed. "Seriously, doll-face… how was I ever friends with her?"
"I've been asking you that for months."
He shook his head and hugged her again. "I can't wait to dump her ass… Speaking of which… Any more ideas about the LA show and Mega Records?"
"Bucky and I were just talking about that on the flight back here…"
"...And…" he said, encouraging her to share.
"And… My mother actually gave me the idea. Bucky technically isn't an official board member. He could easily give up his 'gifted' spot if needed."
"And you?" He asked, practically in a whisper.
She took a deep breath. "And I could resign."
Tracey gasped. "Addie, no! I can't let you..."
She smacked her hand over his mouth. "If Mega Records offers a deal that would make it possible for your dreams to come true… I would do it… I'm choosing you too."
LOS ANGELES
"The house is way too fucking crowded," Zed snarled against her lips as he pulled her over the center console and onto his lap in the driver's seat of her car. "Between the flights and rehearsals, and having to ignore each other on the bus, and never having a minute alone lately…" he shoved his hands under her skirt, gripping her bare ass and grinding her into his throbbing erection.
"Shouldn't we at least drive somewhere?" she panted as he thrust up against her.
"We're not making it past the driveway."
"Well in that case," she smiled and reached down to slide the seat all the way back.
He tore his hands away from her ass to wrestle with his button fly, only to have her beat him to it. With loud panting that was peppered with kisses and lots of fumbling, they both worked to yank his jeans down over his hips enough to allow his erection to spring free.
There was just enough light in the car for Zed to see her rise up on her knees far enough to maneuver him between her legs, gripping him by the base of his cock and positioning him at her entrance. He was panting so heavily that in the back of his mind he wondered if he might hyperventilate. The stress of their last week catching up to him. He needed her. Their connection. And he knew she needed it as well. It was the reason he had pulled her out of the house only a moment before.
Once just the tip was inside her, Addison stopped moving and placed her hands on his shoulders. When their eyes met, she smiled and kissed him slowly. "I love you."
"I love you too, Baby." He thrust his hips up.
Holding his gaze, Addison began to move on him, using his shoulders for leverage as she bounced up and down. Rocking her hips into him with every upward stroke. It wasn't long before the amazing rhythm made them both throw their heads back and moan.
Zed grabbed her ass and pulled her onto him harder so that he could thrust up inside of her even faster. Each new shift of her hips drove him closer to the edge. He slid his hands up and gripped her hips, lifting her up and down on him as he slammed up into her as hard as possible.
"Oh fuck!" she yelled at the sudden change, her body beginning to tighten around him.
"God, yes, Baby…" he snarled, attacking her mouth.
She pulled away and looked him in the eyes, begging, "Please! Come with me!"
"I swear I'll never get enough of you… My wild girl…" With one final thrust of his hips, he sent them both flying.
Addison collapsed against him, every ounce of what little energy she had disappearing with her orgasm, and the exhaustion from their chaotic schedule catching up with her.
Zed held her tightly, tucking her head under his chin as he stroked her back. "I love you," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.
"I love you too… Forever."
"And after."
She looked up at him and smiled. "I need that."
"I know," he said with a quiet chuckle. "So did I."
She sighed contently and rested her head back on his shoulder. "We should go back in there… I'm sure there's something we should be doing before we have to get back to the bus to drive to Fresno…"
He shook his head. "We had a fantastic fucking rehearsal today. We've gone over logistics down to the minute. We've recorded backing tracks. We've finalized fittings. Zoey just went back to Bree's… Right now we're doing exactly what we need to do."
"We're just lying here half-naked."
"Exactly, we're taking a few much-needed minutes to just be us." He said, kissing her again before he smiled and started to laugh. "So... in the last few days, we've played a hell of a lot, shopped… we just fucked… I think we've checked every box on your stress management list except for one… Wanna smoke?"
She threw her head back and laughed. "You know me far too well, my love."
He leaned into the backseat and grabbed his backpack, pulling a joint out of the front zipper pouch. "I love flying private," he said with a chuckle as he lit it. "No bag checks."
Addison rolled her eyes and took a puff when he turned it around for her. She slowly exhaled and leaned back against his chest, placing a tender kiss on his collarbone. "He likes zombies… And the apocalypse… He's got some black magic up in those fingertips…"
Zed laughed as he exhaled. "Cute."
She sat back up and took another puff before she started to sing again. "And I love the way that we put the seat back… He looks at me, pulls a joint out his backpack... Ayy, Ayy… Ride or die every night every day."
"What am I going to do with you, Gorgeous," he teased as he leaned in and kissed her.
She smiled against his lips. "My baby's got a fucked up head. Doesn't matter 'cause he's so damn good in bed...Yeah, he's still my baby. Yeah, he's fuckin' crazy but he's still my baby…"
"You definitely can not sing this one with The Acey's" he laughed.
"My baby's misunderstood. How could something so bad look so damn good. Yeah, he's still my baby. Yeah he's fuckin' crazy but he's still my baby…" She started to kiss down the side of his neck, her teeth scraping along the way. "Doin' stupid shit... And he drinks too much… But he looks good in leather so I don't give a fuck."
Zed threw his head back against the headrest, laughing some more. "This might be one of your best songs."
"And his Gucci shoes… Sharin' Juicy Fruit… And I got that sugar, sugar for his sweet tooth …"
"Come here, Baby," he said through a fresh round of laughter as he guided her face back to his, kissing her silly.
When they finally separated, gasping for air, Addison looked into his eyes. "Sometimes I run my fingers through his hair...Think of all the crazy shit that's under there… Angel and devil and that jet black stare...Yeah, yeah, I like him like that...Yeah, he's fuckin' crazy but he's still my baby."
"I am so in love with you, Addison Donnelly."
"Just as much as I'm in love with you Zed Jacobs."
He exhaled and ran his fingers through her hair. "I miss us like this… In Malibu… Just together… No hiding."
"Me too. I feel like the longer we're here, the harder it gets to go back to the tour and pretend."
"Then let's stop pretending."
"You know we can't do that… not yet anyway," she sighed and rested her head against his chest once more. "I think Eliza's right."
"About?"
"She has a feeling about the ceremony next week."
"Eliza and her feelings…" his chest shook with silent laughter, making her head bounce. "What does this one say?"
"That things are going to change more than we think."
"Would that be such a bad thing?" he asked quietly, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.
She smiled against his chest. "Maybe not."
FRESNO
Is our secret safe tonight
And are we out of sight
Or will our world come tumbling down?
Addison and Tracey swayed back and forth as they watched Zombies perform from the side of the stage, trying their best to ignore Lacey and her ever darkening mood as she paced back and forth behind them.
Will they find our hiding place
Is this our last embrace
Or will the walls start caving in?
It could be wrong, could be wrong, but we know that it's right
It could be wrong, could be wrong, but our hearts ignite
Zed looked over towards the curtains and found Addison's eyes, smiling as he threw her a wink.
"And why in the hell are all of his new songs so sappy and romantic! Like he'd know the first fucking thing about being in love!" Lacey finally snapped. "It's not like he's even capable of being in a goddamn relationship!" she muttered something low under her breath as she started pacing again.
"Speaking of being in love," Jacey said as he walked up behind them. "I thought your boyfriend lived in California, Princess?"
She nodded her head, refusing to look away from Zed. "He does."
Love is our resistance
"Why hasn't he come to any of the shows then?"
They'll keep us apart and they won't stop breaking us down
Addison rolled her eyes. "Cali is a pretty big state, Jace. It's like a five-hour drive from Malibu to Fresno."
Hold me
Our lips must always be sealed
"Malibu? Damn…"
The night has reached its end
We can't pretend
We must run
"Well, If you were my girlfriend, I'd come to see you even if I had to drive to the other side of the state. Is he going to make it to the LA show?"
Take us from here
Protect us from further harm
We can't hide the truth
Zed looked her way again, the love and devotion in his eyes making her breath catch.
Love is our resistance
Her smile grew as Eliza's words ran through her head once again. "You might just meet him then."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know this chapter was all over the place and chaotic, but… the events in the story are all over the place and chaotic. Things are falling apart and coming together all at the same time.
SONGS USED IN THIS CHAPTER:
Banyan Tree (Interlude)- Machine Gun Kelly
Make Me Wanna Die- The Pretty Reckless
Hangover Cure- Machine Gun Kelly
I Am The Fire- Halestorm
LA Devotee- Panic! at the Disco
Baby- Bishop Briggs (I've wanted to use this song since I started this story! It's literally the only reason Addison has a thing for Gucci shoes and that they chew Juicy Fruit)
Resistance- Muse