When I grow up I want to be sorrowful.
Elizabeth refused to sit on the Walls waiting for the others to return as they went to the basement. And in the end Levi was forced to take her with them, but not before he made sure that all of her wounds were perfectly covered and had stopped bleeding.
If not, he'd threatened her, he'd tie her up there and leave her under Jean's control.
Entering the basement proved more difficult than expected, but after Levi kicked the door open they easily entered that particular room.
The drugs in Dr. Jeager's office were all in perfect order, labeled and meticulously arranged, but there was something wrong. To hide something from the Military Police, Elizabeth had learned, it was necessary to leave it right under their noses.
After a careful analysis, thanks to Mikasa who found a locked drawer, -with the key that Eren wore around his neck-, they managed to find three diaries, treated so that their contents would not be ruined and a particular image that portrayed people. But it was extremely detailed and precise, too much for anyone's hand to have painted it.
"So this is a portrait?" Eren asked. Elizabeth held her breath, she was shocked.
This was the moment Erwin had been waiting for all his life and they were living it for him too.
"Let me see that." exclaimed Hange taking the image and looking at it carefully. "No, it's far too detailed to be drawn by a person."
Mikasa pointed out to them that behind it was an inscription in Grisha's handwriting and the Commander turned the picture, reading what was written on it.
"This is no illustration. Instead, this uses light reflected off a subject and burns the image on special paper. It's called a 'photograph'. I come from a place outside the Walls where humanity lives in elegance. Humanity has not perished. I pray the person who finds this book is a fellow patriot."
Elizabeth held her breath. She didn't even know what to think and she knew it was the same to the people next to her. Everything they had always believed in had just been disproved, a very banal image, small and apparently insignificant, had opened their eyes, showing them everything that was hidden outside the Walls.
They were born and raised, they had been brought up on trivial beliefs that didn't even come close to reality. There was a whole world that kept living outside, moving forward, evolving, while they were holed up in there without even telling them why.
When it was time to leave Shiganshina District, Elizabeth grabbed Levi by the arm, pulling him slightly from the fabric of his jacket.
"Levi." she called him making him stop, but getting the same result also in Hange, Eren and Mikasa. "Before we leave... can I see him?"
Levi looked at her for a moment, reading her real intentions in her eyes. It wasn't his body she wanted to see, she could do it even when they would take him back to Trost. She wanted to talk to him one last time, as she hadn't been able to with their old team.
"Yes."
Levi took her to the house where they had left Erwin's now lifeless body, lying in bed as if he were just sleeping.
Elizabeth advanced to his bedside as Levi closed the door behind him to create a minimum intimacy that alienated them from the outside.
She sat next to him, looking at him and holding her breath so as not to cry. Erwin never wanted to see her cry.
"Hi Erwin." she greeted him smiling slightly but with shining eyes and a bit broken voice. Her lower lip and hand trembled but Levi knew it was something she had to do without his physical support. He could only look at her and wait. "You were right... You were always right. And thanks to your determination we are now discovering the whole truth. You believed in something that seemed to be only in your head and I have always been crazy enough to believe you, to believe your words and ideas. Of course, every now and then you needed to be stopped a little but..."
Elizabeth stopped not to cry. Her voice cracked in her throat and she was forced to swallow, giggling to soften the sadness and weight she felt on her heart. It was almost ironic. He had dreamed of that moment all his life and it was cut short before he could reach it, right ahead of him. He lacked so little. And that was why she had told Floch to save him. She wanted to make sure that he could go into that basement with them, it was the reason why he had sent all those comrades to die, it was that single cause, but in the end she was glad that Levi had chosen Armin. "... you were always right."
Elizabeth took another breath. She had so many things to tell him yet, but it seemed like it were all wrong. She turned to where Levi was standing, with his hands joined behind his back to observe her in religious silence. He supported her from there.
You can do it.
"I had to make you pay for promoting me, but the truth is you taught me so much. You trusted me when I was just a recruit, you saw something I didn't even know I had. And you pushed me every day to get it out. I didn't want to say you goodbye."
A tear escaped her control as her voice broke completely, closing her throat and preventing her from moving forward. "Thank you Commander."
Elizabeth let a few tears slide down her face. She didn't want to, true, but they were right. It was right that she let the sadness flow for that loss, for him who had been a mentor to her, a teacher, someone from whom to draw and learn so much not only about the world but also about herself. He had forged her so that she always brought her potential out and had always supported her, first of all in her relationship with Levi and then in her crazy ideas against the titans.
And she had supported him, always trying to show him the worst parts of his plans, but blindly following him too when she thought it was too risky
She stood up, standing up in respect, bringing a fist to her chest. Right fist to her left side.
Offer your heart.
The last farewell to her commander. And Levi behind her did the same.
Back in Trost the crowd was in turmoil. The news of the reconquest of the Wall Maria had thrilled everyone, who were cheerfully celebrating in the streets. Sure, the sheer number of fallen was something everyone would soon have to deal with but humanity had new hope and they all wanted to get rid of the anxiety and fear they had had up to that point.
Hange had her job to do, now assuming command of the Survey Corps, while the younger ones wanted to confront Elizabeth.
The first place to look for her was definitely Levi's office, where they were probably heading, but when they turned down the corridor they found them so attached that they could almost look like one person, flattened against the office door kissing as Levi opened the door lock with one hand.
Eren started to move forward but Mikasa stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, shaking her head. They were somewhat embarrassed but it was also evident how much the two needed a few moments alone, after all they had been through.
Levi had believed that Elizabeth was dead, now he wanted to feel her alive.
The Captain closed the door behind him with a key, after slamming it loudly as if to underline that he did not want to be disturbed in the least. Not even in the event of a titan attack.
He hugged her tightly, letting her fiddle with his raven hair, only helping him in the enterprise of joining themselves.
He didn't think he could ever feel fear, but he had found out what he could. For a while he had been devastated, he had lost everything, but life had been kind to him and had made her survive.
Elizabeth responded to each kiss with the same eagerness, tasting him in response and letting their tongues intertwine with each other, hungry, eager and even a little excited.
Excited because after everything that had happened it was as if they were about to make love again for the first time. As if those feelings were still something new and to be discovered for them.
A strong emotion similar to that one. Their new beginning.
He slowly undid the buttons of her half-torn shirt, going down her neck with his lips to kiss and brand her there too. He didn't want to hide anything anymore, he didn't care if people would talk about them, they already did it enough. Sooner or later it would become a habit and no one would put a word on them again.
There was only one person who had to approve their relationship and it was the same person who could have kicked them out of the army. He hoped it wouldn't happen, but even then he wouldn't be disheartened. He had entered it with Erwin and would have gone out with his death, but always with his head held high and without regrets. And if he had accepted instead... well, better for them.
Elizabeth sighed heavily, both from the sensation of wet kisses on her skin and from the cold on her bare back that immediately came into contact with Levi's fingers, sweet and delicate, which caressed her along the spine. With her hands she went down to take off his jacket, helped also by the fact that he had already taken off his cloak, and then to undo the buttons, depriving him first of the tie, with her usual attention, and then of the shirt with more enthusiasm. And after the shirt it was the turn of everything else.
It had been endless hours but now they were there together.
Levi resumed kissing her, with her lips that they moved gently against his, so different from the more voracious hands that they went to undo her pants to deprive her of the rest of her clothes.
Only when he found her naked before his eyes he take a moment to observe her.
She was still standing, a little pale and full of scars, a few bruises here and there from the impact against the titan, but still as beautiful as the first time. Her two-tone eyes shone particularly and that faith firmly around her wrist reflected the outside light, as if to attract attention.
"Wait." she exclaimed out of breath, trying to breathe before Levi kissed her once more.
He raised an eyebrow in response, intrigued by her gesture.
"Mh?"
Elizabeth smiled at him and raised her wrist, gently pulling the lace from her wedding ring to put it on, before doing the same with Levi's, letting it slide along his ring finger, under the Captain's excited gaze. For everyone he was a man without feelings but the truth was that he had suffered all his life and she wanted to make him happy with all of herself.
"Now it's better." she murmured as he approached her lips again, joining them to seal that silent promise before Levi picked her up to lay her on the bed.
That small gesture, apparently stupid, was so full of meaning for him that it had pushed his heart to irretrievably accelerate its beats.
As much as he didn't like fuss, that just meant they were ready.
He went down to kiss her neck once more, tasting her skin slowly as he reached her breasts.
He gave them some attention before he crawled down her abdomen and smiled at it when he felt her arch her back.
"Levi." she whispered breathlessly, holding back a few small moans that she was then forced to let go when she felt his lips caress her where she quivered the most.
His tongue teased her properly, licking and barely penetrating her trembling femininity.
His warm breath tickled where he could not go, warming her into her lower abdomen.
She moaned louder, harpooning the sheets with the fingers of one hand, while her other sank into Levi's hair, pushing him harder against herself.
His tongue began to move faster, ravenous, devouring her as if it were the first meal after days of fasting, as Levi's hand pressed against her abdomen, pushing her against the mattress to keep her from moving too much and causing her other shocks that pushed her towards the pinnacle of pleasure.
A disjointed groan was enough for Levi to understand that she was at the limit and quickly replaced the tongue with his member.
Elizabeth screamed in pleasure, just in time for him to sink his tongue this time into her mouth, letting her taste herself on it. That wet kiss started it all; Elizabeth quickly tied her legs around his waist, pushing him against her and giving him permission to move, while her nails clawed the skin of his back to create new, passionate, red furrows.
Levi began to push hard, fast and deep, reaching every inch he could reach. She was tight around him but she fitted him perfectly.
With his hands he squeezed her hips, leaving some light marks on her white skin, and at the same time helping himself to reach the maximum depth allowed.
He wanted to get lost inside her, go to heaven with her and drown himself inside her those emotions that only she had made him feel.
Elizabeth almost always marveled at how much passion there could be in such a gesture. She, who had always feared that aspect, who had never given herself to anyone, had found herself more and more eager for him from the first day.
She loved that man in an irrational way and she wanted everyone to know it, she wanted to be her wife and she wanted to stop having to hide the beauty that was in her life.
It had always been taken a lot away from both of them, that was their point of arrival.
The thrusts began to get faster and more disconnected, no longer aimed at creating and prolonging pleasure but at reaching the apex together and abandoning themselves to each other.
Levi poured into her, feeling her throbbing in the meantime; his forehead resting against hers as Elizabeth's nails scratched his shoulders, causing a sting barely noticeable to him.
"I'm not going to take it off anymore." Elizabeth murmured as she looked at her wedding ring, as her fingers gently intertwined with Levi's hand and neared their two rings.
Together they seemed to shine even more, now unable to reflect any light due to the night already well into and any source of light turned off. The heavy curtains then covered the window, preventing the moonlight from entering it.
"Do you want to make it public?" he asked quietly, keeping his eyes fixed on her. They couldn't see much in the dark but they knew every inch of the other's body perfectly and it was enough for them to know what was happening.
Elizabeth smiled, snuggling tighter against Levi's chest and rubbing her cheek against his skin before kissing his heart level.
"Yes. I'm tired of hiding us, Levi."
Levi didn't answer but his heart began to beat fast again.
"When Floch took Erwin to that roof, he said you were dead. I don't want to repeat the experience."
And she didn't need any more words. For him it was the same and he was telling her, albeit with his usual cryptic way. Cryptic for everyone except her.
"I'm not going anywhere."
Zackly soon called an assembly, after reading the contents of the three reported diaries. Grisha Jeager's life and information were something no one could ever have imagined but they certainly couldn't make a decision without first consulting each other.
Elizabeth was in the office with Hange, waiting for the General and Commander Pixis to join them before reuniting with the Queen, the other two Corps and their team. The only ones aware of those diaries.
Hange sat at her desk as she finished filling out papers, while Elizabeth and Levi sat across from her. It was a difficult role but she seemed to be doing well.
"I wonder why every time I need something, I only find useless things in front of me." murmured the new commander as she looked for more ink.
Elizabeth went to help her, crouching behind the desk to look for it in the drawer while she finished the rest of the work.
"Kind of like the Stationary Guard." Elizabeth answered. "With the exception of Commander Pixis they are of no use to shit and are always in the middle."
Yet she was in hiding, and she hadn't heard three people silently enter the room whose door had been left open on purpose. Levi shook his head when he saw Elizabeth's hand emerge over the desk with the ink in her hands and was careful to hold back a laugh.
"Em..." she murmured when she saw the two men entered the room just at the worst moment. "I... you could have stopped me." She murmured in a low voice, but not too loud not to be heard, to Hange and Levi, before turning to the General. "In my defense..."
Elizabeth wasn't sure what to say and the fact that Pixis was smiling without even trying to hide it didn't help. "Nothing. In my defense, nothing. I apologize."
"Thank you for considering me useful Elizabeth." Pixis exclaimed with his hands behind his back, calm and nice as usual.
Elizabeth started to speak but she had the idea of turning back to Zackly and she changed her mind. "I'll shut up."
"Some things really never change."
Elizabeth saw Levi shake his head, trying not to sigh, and finally she giggled at Commander Pixis's gaze.
"I think I understand why Shadis called me a bad example to follow."
Zackly cleared his throat.
"I will pretend I have not heard anything by virtue of the concussion you reported after the reconquest of Wall Maria."
"Thank you sir."
"I think it is right to free the two young people in prison." Zackly began. Elizabeth went around the desk again until she leaned on top of it with her buttocks, arms folded.
"He still has ten days of captivity to go for opposing the authority of Captain Levi." Hange answered, standing up too.
"If I understand correctly they have pointed the blade to your throat."
"Yes." Levi answered, already exhausted by that conversation that had just begun.
"You must have been particularly exhausted." Pixis murmured putting his hand to his chin, reflecting on it for a while.
"If I had been completely I would have had my throat cut." Levi concluded confidently, trying not to overdo it. Pixis smiled at him, immediately taking up the word again.
"I think it's right to get them out. After all, they're the heroes who took down the Colossal and the Armored Titan. It would send the wrong message."
And Elizabeth agreed with him. But what she didn't understand was why Zackly seemed to be studying her with his eyes, with extremely attention.
"To the detriment of the three idiots who let the Armored and the Beast escape."
"Thanks..." Hange exclaimed with a particular lightness, noticed both Zackly and Pixis, she had only with her. "Actually no, I deserved it."
Having agreed on every detail of the assembly, Zackly changed the subject smiling. Which was downright odd for the Vice Captain.
"By the way ... Captain Levi, Vice Captain Elizabeth congratulations."
"For what?" she asked without fully understanding what he meant.
"Your wedding."
Zackly's words had the power to freeze her on the spot, frightening her even more than when he should have judged her actions. But she had heard right, he had congratulated, so he was not against it. The question was... how the hell did he know they got married? A single ring on her finger could prove nothing and Levi had his arms crossed and his left one hidden since they entered, so he couldn't have seen his hand as well.
"I'm aware about your relationship since your trial Elizabeth, I certainly didn't miss the look of apprehension he has been giving you all along. And if I had been against it, I would have told you something much earlier, right?" he explained calmly and with a slight smile to color his face.
The General was sincerely happy for them, he considered them an example, something that could really give new hope. The love that was born where it seemed impossible.
And then, he had to admit, it was truly incredible that a rebellious and sunny soul like her had managed to melt the Captain's heart of ice.
And the first to answer was the aforementioned Captain, while Elizabeth opened and closed her mouth without being able to speak.
"Thank you sir."
"You didn't expect that, did you Elizabeth?" chuckled, however, Pixis, definitely amused. Their relationship hadn't escaped him either, but he had never thought to put his mouth on anything. He was only sorry that such a beautiful woman was taken but it was enough for him to be able to talk with her, he would never have dreamed of disrespecting someone.
"We have to go get Eren and Mikasa." then exclaimed Hange, going to the rescue of the blonde still partly in shock.
Then, when they got permission to leave the room, they got ready to leave but Zackly's voice stopped them. Or rather, he stopped one of them.
"Elizabeth I would like you to stay here. I need to talk to you."
"Sure."
The assembly, with Historia, had been more problematic than Elizabeth thought. Of course, it was understandable. They had never been informed of anything and they were faced with information that went beyond their line of thought, going to completely upset them. The first thing that needed to be ascertained was that their enemy were no longer the titan, but the whole world, which caused even more fear than those beasts could provoke. None of them had the slightest idea of what was outside the three walls and the only information they could give for absolute was that reported ones by Grisha Jeager. They were now labeled as the 'people of Ymir', an ethnic group feared by entire peoples for their ability to transform into titans, and therefore considered to be exterminated. The story of the Founding Titan then seemed to make Eren even more restless, starting to talk to himself and mutter apparently nonsense, and Elizabeth could not help but wonder if he had not seen something, in the memories of his father, who had kept them hidden away. And if the Military Police initially wanted to keep everything secret, fearing a people's revolt, Pixis' words were enough for Histoia to decide, instead, to make everything public.
As Hange herself later stated: the information had to be entrusted to those who paid the taxes.
And Elizabeth felt proud of Erwin. In the end, that almost insane man had really pushed them towards the truth.
A few days later a final farewell to the fallen comrades was organized. As many as 199 soldiers and the thirteenth Commander of the Survey Corps, had fallen for what now everyone saw as a new future, and Historia would have awarded medals to the ten soldiers who, instead, had managed to survive and unearth that information.
While they waited for everything to be ready, Hange called Elizabeth aside, with a seriousness on her face that almost frightened her.
The two left the room, taking refuge in the solitude and silence of the corridor.
"I know that look, what's up?" the blonde asked her, crossing her arms over her chest.
Hange almost seemed to feel guilty about something; she lowered her gaze a little before looking up at her friend.
"I found out why you were sick before we left for Shiganshina." she began, referring to exactly what she had asked her when she passed out. Among the thousand things that had happened to her she hadn't had time to check and give her certain answers, but after their return she had dedicated time to her too, closing herself up in her study at night. "I apologize for not having did it before but with everything we were going through..."
"You do not have to apologize." she murmured, slightly trembling. She didn't know what to expect.
"Liz, someone tried to poison you."
"What?!"
Hange took a breath, watching her friend cool her gaze as she did when she was on the battlefield. She was furious and it was easy to guess, at least for her, who by now had come to know her completely.
"There were traces of poison in your blood. Not enough to kill you but, apparently, sufficient to make you feel sick. Or maybe it was your condition given by the experiment that saved you, I don't know, but the poison was there."
Elizabeth thought about it for a while, remembering the events of that day.
"In fact, now that I think about it... it was after eating that I started to have the first symptoms."
"Who could ever do such a thing?" asked Hange, thinking about it, but it wasn't easy at all. Jealousy aside, Elizabeth was too loved or feared for anyone to do such a thing. Not to mention that they all knew well that going against her meant going against two other people, one of whom was humanity's strongest soldier.
"There would be one person." Elizabeth murmured, thinking of what, for her, was the worst case scenario.
"Who?" asked Hange curious and, at the same time, ready to destroy anyone who had dared to harm her.
"Someone who, evidently, discovered my elevation in rank. And he must not have liked the news."
Hange fully understood, she remembered well that face and that look full of hate. She knew perfectly well who she was talking about. But before she could answer him a soldier from the Stationary Guards came out of the room to respectfully call them and tell them the start of the ceremony.
"It's time to be heroes." Elizabeth commented before entering the room again, following Hange.
And when she found herself kneeling, with her hand on her chest, in the presence of Historia, a thought went, once again, to that man who had pushed her to be the authoritarian woman that she had become. He had guided her to the street, but now it was up to her to follow it.
Goodbye Erwin...