Best Kept Secret

It had been such a lovely day, from first thing in the morning right to now. She'd been so glad to help Mrs Hughes get ready and she was so happy that in the end everything had turned out the way the housekeeper had wanted it to go. She had been so good to her from the first day that she had started at Downton; in many ways she was like a mother to her. If there was anyone who deserved all that she desired then it was Mrs Hughes.

She had got tears in her eyes when she saw Mrs Hughes in her wedding outfit and then again several times at the church. When Reverend Travis had pronounced them husband and wife it was all she could do not to burst out crying while wearing the biggest grin on her face. The thought crossed her mind that it might not have all been to do with the occasion of the day, and that it might be the adjustments in her hormones already making themselves known. She didn't know whether that could really be true – surely it was too early for that. If it was the case then she was sure that she was going to be the biggest emotional wreck known to man for the next few months. However she was going to hide it from John, she did not know.

He had been smiling at her throughout the day, and looking at her somewhat curiously. She could tell that he was trying to figure out what had caused her to have such a shift in her emotions. She would not be lying to say that the wedding was a cause for her joy, but it was true that it was not the main one, and her husband was far too clever not to cotton onto more. She distracted him well enough for the time being with reminiscences of their own wedding. They talked lightly and she could even tease him, and that they could do such a thing was a true joy to her.

She didn't like hiding things from him, and not something as important as the secret she was keeping to herself. Sometimes she felt like she couldn't keep it in any longer and that she would burst out with it, quite inappropriately. He deserved the happiness as much as she did, if not more so. She wanted to be certain; the very worst thing she could do would be to get his hopes up, it would hurt all the more if they were to come crashing down. The fear lingered at the edges day and night, but she did her best to keep them from intruding. It would not help matters for her to get so anxious, and she honestly had a different feeling about this time around.

She looked at the happy scene of the children, Miss Sybbie enveloping Master George and Miss Marigold in a hug, and her heart was filled with such delight, her cheeks aching from grinning towards them. Mr Branson looked on with his own smile and eyes full of light. She remembered how there had been a distant sadness there before he had left Downton for America; now he looked as though he was back at home. Not to mention how unbelievably proud he was, the emotion evident to anyone who looked towards him in that moment, and for many afterwards.

A hand came to rest on her back and she turned to see John's eyes upon her, full of concern, while he kept a tender smile on his face.

He didn't need to ask her, not with words at any rate. She could see the question in his eyes; he wanted to know whether she was alright. Whether the scene, as lovely and heartwarming as it was, was too much for her heart to bear.

She nodded and smiled at him in answer, loving him all the more for the way he worried and thought about her. She wanted so much to be able to tell him and put a firmer end to his worries, but it would need to wait. For the time being, she linked her fingers with his and gave his hand a loving squeeze.

Mr Branson made the rounds of seeing everyone and saying a few words of greeting, which spoke of what a good person he was. Anna had to admit that the house had missed him being there, and she knew that Lady Mary in particular had felt the loss in the last few months. He came to say hello to them both and wished them well, and John informed him in brief detail about how the investigation had come to an end for them, which he was pleased about.

All the while he had Miss Sybbie in his arms, even though she was getting quite big to be carried about. She smiled at both of them with hardly any coaxing from her father, and said "hello, Mr and Mrs Bates" very sweetly and politely. Anna felt her heart contract, and she knew that John was looking at her and fretting again.

"She's a darling," she said once the father and daughter pair had moved on, keen to show that she was not troubled in any way.

"She is," John replied, curbing his smile, "very much like her mother."

"And like her father too."

She tried not to give too much away, thinking that will be you too, one day.

At least her heart could rejoice in the fact that it would be possible, after all.