Chapter Forty-Six
Sesshoumaru was not used to being avoided, on account of him primarily being the one to snub others. Kagome seemed to have ceased talking to him, only giving short, one-worded answers. This did not stop her from spending good chunks of time chatting amiably with Rin, of course.
It should not have displeased him quite as much as it did.
For a few hours, Rin's quest to answer Souta's letter had served as a sufficient distraction. After recovering considerably well after seeing the wolves again, she'd chatted to him while on the road about which flower she should send to her new friend. He'd been grateful for this diversion.
But the majority of Sesshoumaru's time had been spent inside his own head; thoughts loud.
The miko's sudden frosty countenance, moody silences and disinterest somewhat nullified the entire purpose of rutting the night before. Inuyoukai instincts now clamoured for her attention, more frustrated and persistent than ever. It was a credit to his superior control he did not fall prey to dark impulses and do something...untoward.
"Hey, have you seen my pink t-shirt?"
Rin shook her head, looking around camp with her later that evening. "Oh! Is that it- in the bushes?"
"How the heck did it get over there?" Kagome frowned, wading through greenery to grab it.
Sesshoumaru remained reclining against a tree, looking for all the world bored and uninterested. No one need know of his shame; how that scrap of clothing had been the only thing able to stem loud, roaring temptations. How he'd buried his nose in it, drinking deep.
'I hate you sometimes,' she'd said.
He hated her too, at complicated moments such as these. Hated what her cycle did to him.
Sesshoumaru could not claim to have spent a huge amount of time around demons in heat. After sensing one in season, it was wise to stay clear. In his own clan, traditionally those in heat would keep to a den. They'd cut themselves off from others unless they wished to be pupped. None entered their domain while they bled without permission.
Mother had killed a male once for daring to try.
The only time a demoness in heat left the safety of their den was for something important; to seek out a specific partner they wanted. They'd communicate their desire for their chosen mate by answering a call.
Golden eyes slid shut. The miko hadn't intended to offer herself. It had been a mistake, unknowingly done. He hadn't thought humans were even capable of hearing his call. Priestesses were unusual creatures.
This did not help tame the answering hum within his inuyoukai blood. How it snarled, confusing her act of friendship for the wish to accept him.
It forced Sesshoumaru to analyse his situation; and he supposed he may have mis-stepped in how to handle things. The miko was never supposed to know about his brief fling. It had merely meant to be a quick fix for his instincts, so as not to fall prey to them and possibly attack her again.
What he couldn't understand was the complicated hurt occasionally rolling off her, which she viciously tried to suppress. Sesshoumaru could understand discomfort. It was an awkward situation.
He could also accept the possessive want to not allow him to touch others. After all, he'd disliked the wolf's overly familiar attitude with her. It had briefly driven him mad with a kind of visceral, shaking rage. He barely recognised himself when looking back on it.
But still, hurt? Wounded feelings? Why did these things fluctuate in Kagome's scent? If they were lovers, it would make sense. He'd vowed not to be unfaithful to his chosen lovers, but if hypothetically he had been, Sesshoumaru would more than understand her sadness and lurking anger.
Sesshoumaru inwardly sighed, sensing an active volcanic eruption looming in the distance of their shared future. Eventually, they'd need to...talk about it.
He couldn't claim to have stomached that night in camp particularly well. His instincts flared and rattled, going haywire- sensing the miko's fluctuating emotions and aches. She eventually pulled Rin in close, stroking her wild hair. This led him to relax somewhat, contemplating other things.
"She has the same look in her eye that your Mother once had, when the grief was still too near."
Naoko's words came to mind while observing the human's clinging to each other.
"You should introduce them sometime, pup. It would do her some good to talk to another who knows the pain of losing a child."
Perhaps when everything had settled, he'd take the miko to Mother. Sesshoumaru hadn't wanted to. There were things Mother would say, reveal about himself- things he'd wanted no one else to know. Vulnerabilities. But he supposed...he could put such things aside. Kagome was still hurting. That hurt wouldn't go away. He sensed the night terrors looming- waking her mid-dream and stealing her sleep. Sometimes while drifting off again, she'd cuddle Rin close with a plume of nostalgia curling within her scent.
He wondered if she pretended to hold the kit by hugging the little girl.
"Right now, Rin is the only cub I care about. Please respect that," she'd uttered so lowly, like a mother protecting her young.
It had made warmth bloom inside his chest. Feelings he couldn't name bothered him whenever he thought about it. He supposed...it had pleased him. Her display of loyalty to the orphan coupled with fierce, haunting blue eyes as she'd asserted her own autonomy had stayed with him long into the night and brightening dawn.
Sesshoumaru glanced at them now as they walked along an abandoned path; the two humans conversing with twin smiles.
He supposed that was the most troubling thing about Kagome. There was no one way to feel about her. No simple conclusion. He couldn't feel pure annoyance, admiration nor respect- every emotion when applied to the miko jumbled, twisted, clashed.
Sesshoumaru scowled darkly to himself.
"If I do have Hanyou kids down the line, it'll be with someone who isn't strong. No pure bloodline or big deal heritage."
That had certainly been the most staggering revelation. What a ridiculous sentiment to have. It went completely against everything Sesshoumaru had been taught to uphold. Prestige, power and lineage were paramount. Every demon valued a strong partner. It was natural for survival instincts.
And there was the miko...saying 'no thanks.'
It wasn't like he wanted Hanyou children either. And yet her statement annoyed the Daiyoukai for how unprecedented it had felt; how it invalidated the urges still churning in his gut.
She did not want his children.
For one as proud as he, it was a downright ludicrous. Every demoness wanted his pups. They did not always like nor admire him, but baring heirs for a demon lord meant security, status. Wealth for life.
And yet the miko dismissed him and any hypothetical children easily, as though carelessly batting away a fly. When remembering the fact that she'd answered his call to mate, it confused Sesshoumaru's orderly mind- throwing everything he thought he knew into chaos. His striped cheek still ached- feverish with the memory of a soft, gliding tongue. Pale skin itched, burning, crying out.
Nothing made sense. There were no straight answers for the infliction buried inside his being except for one known truth; Kagome Higurashi was to blame.
Golden eyes narrowed, pride stinging as he stepped beneath the shade of a moss-covered forest.
Branches enclosed tightly over the group's head, letting in only scant beams of sunlight- some filtering in through vibrant green leaves. Mud caked their shoes as they walked, Jaken occasionally squealing when he sank too far into some soft marshy earth. The miko pulled him out, talking to him kindly.
Sesshoumaru's lips thinned, leading on through the labyrinth of twisting vines until they reached a particularly towering magnolia tree.
Kagome let out a hushed gasp behind him, no doubt looking up at the furthest reaches of its great height.
"Bokuseno," he uttered.
He could hear gentle rustling from swaying branches. Leaves tickled by a passing breeze were the only sounds that accompanied the tree youkai's aged face as it appeared within the bark.
Kagome squeaked, "the tree has a face," she whispered to Rin.
"He's the one who told Lord Sesshoumaru about Inuyasha's demon blood going crazy," the girl whispered back.
"What's this, young pup?" amusement coloured the tree's deep voice. "In addition to a human pet, you now have a priestess travelling with you. How peculiar...for one who despises mortals."
"My business is my own," Sesshoumaru bit out smoothly, sensing Kagome bristle at the term 'pet.' He did not rise to Bokuseno's bait, knowing the old fool's game of wishing to unsettle him. "A foe wishes to use incense against this one to boost a holy barrier, preventing my entrance to an area during a pivotal night. Tell me how to thwart it."
"Hmmnn…" the tree's aged features morphed into that of heavy contemplation. "Ryuzaburo, the willow tree youkai...he tells me the herbs you seek as a countermeasure are growing at the base of his trunk. They can dilute the effects of holy powers, allowing you to pass through such an obstacle."
"Uh, excuse me," Kagome drew up next to Sesshoumaru's side, who stiffened slightly. He breathed through his mouth, skin heating. "You said 'he tells me' like you were just talking to him or something. Is that right?"
"Mn, indeed, little one. Trees can communicate with each other. Our spreading roots allow us to reach other tree youkai quite instantaneously compared with regular plants."
"R-really?" Kagome thought for a moment. "Have you ever spoken with the Goshinboku?"
Sesshoumaru arched a brow, glancing at her.
"Ah, yes. Goshinboku was once a youkai like myself who could speak with humans. However, the years grew long. Eventually we lose the ability to show our faces in the bark. He remains sentient to this day, though."
"That's...wow, I had no idea," she murmured. "I heard the Bone Eater's Well was made from the wood of Goshinboku. Are they both still connected?"
At his answering hum, Kagome paused, chewing on her plump bottom lip. Not that Sesshoumaru was paying attention to it or anything. "...Huh. So, I'm curious about something. Could you please ask the tree why this guy could pass through the well into my era?" she gestured to Sesshoumaru with her thumb. "Only Inuyasha could do it before."
The tree youkai's branches shook with deep, booming laughter. "I have not been asked to converse with other trees on a human's behalf before, but I will do as you request. Wait a moment, funny young thing."
Bokuseno lapsed into silence. Thin, slanted eyes shaped like half-moons in the bark slid shut. Sesshoumaru sensed youki humming through tree roots, energy spreading out as a huge pulse- ripples stretching far.
After a little while, wooden eyelids cracked open again. "You are the Shikon Miko, correct?"
Kagome straightened, "so people tell me."
He chuckled, "Goshinboku tells me that for the longest time, the Shikon Miko and her reincarnations have always had a companion by their side. A protector. Midoriko had one, as have other priestesses whose fates became entwined with the jewel."
Sesshoumaru sensed alarm leak into Kagome's scent. "Wait...Midoriko? Don't tell me I'm her reincarnation too…" she said thinly.
"Indeed, though many times over. As I was saying, your previous life had a companion too."
"Inuyasha," Kagome mumbled, crestfallen.
"Mn... it appears he was yours as well. However, something has changed. The pup beside you has now become your protector and thus has gained permission to pass through the well by Goshinboku."
Sesshoumaru met her startled gaze, watching as she folded her arms defensively. "I see," Kagome muttered distractedly.
"It is strange though," Bokuseno mused, attention straying to the treetops. "Usually the miko and her chosen companion are-"
"Don't make it romantic."
"Cease talking."
Sesshoumaru and Kagome stiffened, glancing at each other after speaking in unison.
The tree youkai rumbled out a dusty sounding laugh, branches shaking. Rin snickered behind them.
"Very well, I will put it this way, Lord Sesshoumaru," smiling eyes danced. "You could say you are the Shikon Miko's most precious person."
He arched a brow, expecting Kagome to make a flippant remark, dismiss it. At the answering silence that ensued, golden eyes slid her way. Surprise flickered inside him, witnessing the myriad of emotions held in her eyes. She did not answer.
"I know she hasn't been happy since she got back," Souta had murmured, scent clear and full of honesty. "Not until she saw you today."
They'd wanted to head immediately in the direction of the youkai willow tree. Factoring it into their journey to reach Kikyo, Sesshoumaru remained certain they still had enough time. Unfortunately, evening had swept in quicker than expected, and after visiting Bokuseno they'd settled inside the hollow remains of a giant toppled tree trunk not far from the magnolia tree's glade. Kagome had taken her muddied trainers and crouched alone by the edge of an enclosed, nearby lake.
Remaining submerged within cool shadows, Sesshoumaru tilted his chin up, observing from afar.
He did not pride himself on talking earnestly. He usually spoke succinctly and with purpose, in order to finish conversations quickly. The only exception to this was to flirt or mock opponents. Rare was the day he confronted feelings or spoke from the heart the way Kagome did.
He supposed...another reason he'd been teaching her inuyoukai language was to make things easier on himself. Speak in a way he could appreciate. With actions.
Stepping out from beneath the shade, Sesshoumaru quietly approached. This time, verbal conversation was unavoidable.
They needed to talk.