Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to AvatarHuncho, a great reader and internet friend!
Aang was starting to think he'd made a big mistake. He should have told her a long time ago, and now it was getting to the point where the omission was conspicuous and needed an explanation of its own. It had been partly from insecurity, and that was just dumb. He should have been brave enough to risk not hearing it back long ago. It would have been fine. He could have handled it. In fact, it would have been much better than this stifling awkwardness: it would have been a relief.
He had also been worried about pressuring her, but did words really constitute pressure? What if he had made it clear that he expected no response, and that he would never say it again unless she wanted him to? Would it still have been pressure then? Or was he just rationalizing?
Now he was more afraid that the fact that he hadn't said it might be making Katara question his feelings. He felt uneasy about it, and that in itself was weird because they were usually so comfortable together. And since he'd stopped it from just slipping out so many times, that ensured it wasn't going to happen that way, so easily and simply. He'd trained himself out of his natural tendency to reach out and confide in her, and that was sad. He should never have held back. She'd always said she liked that about him, that his feelings were irrepressible, but he'd chosen to repress his best feeling. He had done it at least in part out of respect and consideration for her, but what about consideration for himself, and being true to his own feelings?
When should he have said it? Certainly not on that first date. Probably not while making out on Appa on the way to the South Pole. Not while crying at the Southern Air Temple. But maybe that moment as they'd left. It would have been better than that needy bombshell he'd dropped instead. Maybe on his birthday, or hers. There had been any number of moments that might have been right. Probably that was only something that you could know in retrospect.
The longer he waited, the bigger a deal it would be when it happened. And by now he'd waited so long that the anticipation he had inadvertently created intimidated him and made action impossible. Sometimes he tried to come up with ideas of what to say, how to say it, when, and where, and he wrote some of them down on scraps of paper, but none of them were good enough, none of them came remotely close to what she deserved, or to expressing his sentiments fully.
Since he always did look for the bright side of any situation, Aang had to admit there was one thing he was grateful for in this mess he'd created for himself. He had gotten a little bit more creative with the things he did say to Katara, so that his remarks may have been more memorable and meaningful than if he'd just always said those same three words. His caution had led to greater creativity, like the restrictions of a poem's form and meter giving shape to language, so that he ended up expressing his feelings more sincerely and memorably, exactly because he'd chosen to avoid the simpler, more conclusive words.
He wasn't worried that his declaration would scare her off anymore. Sokka, Toph, and even Zuko had assured him that her attachment to him was real and deep. At this point, if she didn't say it back, he'd be more perplexed than hurt. It would just make no sense. There was nothing to fear, no reason to hold back anymore. They were best friends. If they didn't understand each other, then they needed to talk about that, and this would be a good way to start the conversation.
The Banished Prince and the Last Airbender was set to premier at the Ember Island theater, so Zuko brought all of his friends back to the beach house to stay for the weekend, since they had special tickets to the first showing.
On opening night, Katara came down wearing a green dress with bell sleeves, a pink flower in her hair.
"Do you recognize this dress?" She asked Aang coyly, as the rest of their friends gathered to go to the show together.
"I do believe I saw it once before at a certain tea shop. There was a particularly beautiful sunset that day, but not as beautiful as the girl who joined me on the balcony."
"Wow, you have gotten a lot more smooth in the past year!" Katara laughed.
"Oh, I was always smooth. I just wasn't confident. But you've given me a few reasons to feel good about myself. Some reasons to hope." Aang's eyes twinkled at her as he referenced their first date.
"Good. I like hope. But I don't give weepy speeches about it." She pointed her finger at him sternly.
Aang brought his hand to his chest in mock surprise. "You would never!" They both laughed, and he took her hand. "And that's the last we will allude to that play or that night."
"What play?" Katara asked, her eyes free of all guile as she slid her hand up to the crook of his elbow. Together with the others, the couple boarded Zuko's carriage for the theater.
When they filed in to their seats in the royal box, somehow Aang and his girlfriend got separated, so that the Fire Lord ended up sitting next to Katara.
"Zuko, you're in my seat." Aang told him assertively, arms crossed.
"Oh, you wanted to sit here? By her?" Zuko feigned shock, teasing. "Well, all you ever had to do was ask." He made a show of getting up, gesturing elaborately to the chair next to the waterbender.
Once they were in their proper seats, Katara, Aang, Zuko, and Mai were settled in the first row, with Toph, Sokka, Suki, and Ty Lee directly behind them.
The prologue began with Sozin and Roku, the question of colonization, the Fire Lord's betrayal of his old friend. The actors whose main parts were Aang and young Zuko played Roku and Sozin as boys. Then, after Roku's travel and training in the other elements, they were portrayed as adults by the actors whose main parts were Iroh and Ozai. After Sozin left Roku to die on his volcano, the play flashed ahead in time to show Aang running away from the Air Temple, the storm that froze him with his sky bison, and the violence descending on his people. Then the action jumped forward to Iroh's breakdown and disappearance after the death of his son, and Ozai's taking that chance to usurp his brother. The prologue ended with Zuko's maiming and banishment.
As Aang watched the play, he was amazed to see how his friends cared for him and each other, to watch his growth, and Zuko's parallel development. But what absolutely overwhelmed him was experiencing his and Katara's love story all over again. From his seat in the audience, he recalled exactly how certain moments had felt, from waking in the cold to the prettiest smile in the world, to her comforting arms bringing him out of the Avatar state. Seeing himself learning and growing alongside his best friend, it was like he fell in love all over again.
When he watched the actress who resembled Katara nurse his comatose doppelganger, and glanced at his right, and saw his girlfriend's eyes filling with tears at the memory, he understood for perhaps the first time exactly how important he was to her. He had always been optimistic that she would return his love someday, but this show made it seem like she had loved him all along, from the very beginning. Was it just artistic license? Or direction the actors and producers had received from the real Katara?
One persistent thought that had kept him from offering her his love had been the idea that this was enough, that for him, their relationship sufficed, exactly as it already was. That was still true; he wasn't discontent in the least. But now he wondered, what if they could have more than enough? What if they could give each other not just what they needed, but everything they could ever want?
He had kept silent, thinking she was already happy, afraid of spoiling her contentment with his request for greater intimacy and commitment. But what if he could make her even more happy, just by saying a few words? The idea was exhilarating. It made him feel like he was channeling lightning and needed an outlet.
He resolved to tell her at the first opportunity, the very next minute they were alone together. He wouldn't let anything stop him this time.
The play was nearly over; the final confrontation approached. Aang watched himself meditate on his dilemma—Would killing the Fire Lord violate his personal integrity and his people's beliefs? Were those things worth dying for, even if it also meant the annihilation of the Earth Kingdom?-and Katara came in to join him. He didn't remember this moment.
"I know you'll do the right thing. I believe in you!" The actress announced. Then she hugged him, and kissed him on the cheek, lingering in a way that made the audience long for more.
"Katara—" The Aang on the stage began, but the girl pointed at the approaching lion turtle. Destiny called. "I think I have to go."
"Then go," she responded trustingly.
"Did you put that in?" Aang whispered to Katara, sitting beside him in the royal box. She nodded at him, and he squeezed her hand, his eyes shining.
Then they watched the final battles, which were mainly remarkable for their special effects. The crowd gasped in horror when Ozai lifted his hand to brand Aang's face as he had his son's, which changed to uncontrollable excitement when the Avatar's eyes lit up and he grabbed the older man's ridiculous goatee. The fight was truly over then, though it went on a bit longer just for show. Melancholy music accompanied Azula's fall, reminding the audience that despite the impressive pyrotechnics, this was a scene of tragedy, not triumph.
When the whole cast was brought together for their happy reunions, Aang watched Katara rush toward the actor playing him. Their momentum made them spin, embracing. Then the actors kissed full on the mouth, and the whole theater cheered in approval. The kiss outlasted the applause, and then on stage, Katara declared, "I always knew you could save the world!"
"You added that too," he realized.
She laced her fingers between his and smiled. He remembered how it had felt when she'd whispered those words in his ear in real life, and his determination to tell her as soon as he could doubled.
Soon the theme music was playing as the actors bowed to multiple standing ovations. When the applause ended, and people began to file out, Katara took Aang's arm. "Come with me," she urged secretively. While they made their way through the crowded theater, several people tried to get their attention or pull them aside, but she didn't allow anyone to move them from her chosen path. She led him through the crowd to a door blocked by a rope. Then she stepped around the rope and pulled him out the door.
They were alone on a balcony decorated lavishly with flowers and candles. The view looked familiar, and he realized where they were. He turned to her in wonder, understanding she had planned this. "This is the balcony."
She nodded. "I brought you here to tell you—"
"Katara, I love you," He burst out. "I can't hold it in anymore. You're everything to me."
She smiled, almost shyly, and looked down. She began again. "I brought you here to tell you I'm not confused anymore."
"I know that. But you don't have to say anything-"
"Will you listen?" She asked.
He nodded, his heart in his throat.
"Even that night, I knew I loved you. I just wasn't sure if I was in love with you. But as soon as I had a little time and space to understand my own feelings, I found that I didn't just have friendly affection for you, but romantic passion, and even real, grown-up desire. You are so incredibly lovable that just by being yourself, you made it impossible for me to ignore or deny my feelings any longer. And now, I've spent the past year falling deeper and deeper in love with my best friend."
Aang's face hurt from grinning so hard, and he was lightheaded. Had he forgotten to breathe? He felt unbalanced, and found that he was clutching her arms unsteadily, and she was helping him stay standing. Incredibly, as if she hadn't already said enough to make all his dreams come true, she was still talking.
"It seems like just when I think I'm completely, totally in love with you, I find that the feeling can still grow. You are the most important person in my life, Aang, and I'm sure that's never going to change." She took a deep breath and got ready to say the scarier part of what she'd prepared. "I want to be with you…" Her voice faltered, and she found herself unable to continue.
The sight of her in some distress helped him find his voice. "I'm here," he assured her.
Katara shook her head, only to say, she knew that, and it wasn't what she meant. "I mean, I want to be with you-" her throat seemed to close up as if she were too scared to speak.
"Do you mean—" he swallowed, and took a leap, daring to believe that she might hold the same secret wish in her heart, and was simply struggling to name it for some reason. He shook his head slightly to switch from asking her for clarification to declaring himself before she could. "I want to be with you forever."
"Yes." She said simply, though he hadn't said it as a question.
He gave a sound that was something between a laugh and a sob. He covered his mouth, surprised at the noise it had just made, realizing his eyes were filling with tears.
She continued, explaining herself. "It makes me a little nervous, because I don't know what our life together might look like, but we have lots of time to figure that out."
"Our life together." Aang repeated, dazed. "That's what I want too, more than anything."
He leaned in to kiss her, and she fell into his arms for just an instant before she remembered the other surprise she'd planned. Abruptly, she pulled away and stepped back. To stop the look of confusion on his face from turning to hurt, she told him, "Before we start that, I have something to give you too."
She handed him a box. Inside was a shiny gold cuff bracelet, with a ruby on one side, and an emerald on the other. The square stones were almost as big as his thumbnail. There was a trim like a braid around its edges. It was altogether too gaudy to appeal to his austere Air Nomad tastes, and yet it called strongly to him. He had a strange feeling when he touched it. A sensation of vertigo, as if he were looking down from a tall height on someone small and fierce and incredibly beloved.
"This feels familiar..." he said wonderingly.
She grinned. "I thought it might. It belonged to Avatar Kyoshi."
"I—she really loved the person who gave her this." He knew this was true, but couldn't explain how he knew it.
"It was a gift from her companion and firebending master, Rangi." She explained. "They were lovers." The word sent a shock through his body.
"How did you..."
"I wrote to the museum on Kyoshi Island, and they sent it to me so I could return it to you. Ty Lee brought it with her when she came here for the anniversary celebrations."
"This is amazing, Katara." He put the bracelet on his wrist. It was too big, but still felt right. "You're amazing. I hope you know, I feel all of those things for you too—affection, passion, desire, overpowering love. And, like you said, the feeling grows all the time. You and me, together like this, forever—it's more than I ever dared to hope for. I can't believe we were standing here a year ago, and I was whining about the play, and asking you if you saw me as a brother, and now- Can I just kiss you?"
"Oh, please," she threw an arm around his neck and melted into him for a long, deep, intimate kiss. Whenever their lips parted for even an instant, they found themselves repeating the words to each other again and again, as if the dam had broken and the floodwaters were unstoppable.
"I love you, Aang," she said simply, her forehead pressed to his arrow.
"I love you," he replied, brushing her damp lashes with his thumb.
"I mean, I really love you," Katara emphasized. "You believe me, right?"
"Somehow, it's both totally unbelievable and perfectly commonplace, because that's also the way I love you. Inevitably. With all I am." He gasped, looking up, away from her shining blue eyes for just a moment. "It feels so good to say it!" he exclaimed, helpless with joy.
"It does!" She replied, pressing her lips to his another time. "And hearing it is pretty nice too."
"It is," he agreed, burying his hand in her hair and sighing, "Oh, I love you so much."
They kissed there on the balcony until a cleaning man interrupted them and said he needed to close the building. When they were finished giggling and blushing, Aang suggested simply jumping from the balcony; even without his glider, he could airbend enough cushion to allow them to touch down safely. Giddy and daring, the couple leapt and fell, landing in each others' arms, and stood in the dark street kissing and whispering for a while longer. Then they walked back to the beach house, where the others seemed to be asleep behind their closed doors. They agreed that it was both a special occasion and a Saturday, so he joined her in her bed, where they kissed some more. Finally, the two fell asleep fully clothed on top of her covers, when impossibly happy dreams overtook them together in the middle of a kiss.
They woke to Zuko's voice calling out, "Hey, where's Aang? He's not in his room. We usually work out in the morning."
Aang and Katara bolted out of bed immediately, and he started stripping.
"What are you doing?" She whispered.
"Going out to the courtyard through your window. I'll pretend I was already up." He was down to just his short pants; it looked like he was ready to exercise, instead of like he'd slept in the previous night's finery. "Take care of the evidence." He gestured to his clothes on her bedroom floor. He paused with one leg out the window and grinned at her. "Love you," he said, and jumped before she could respond.
"Hey, Sifu!" Aang called cheerily to his firebending friend from where he'd landed in the courtyard. "Ready for some hot squats?"
Zuko frowned at him in confusion, pointed to the courtyard, and the bedroom, and back to the courtyard, as if he didn't understand how the younger boy had appeared out of nowhere. Then he just shrugged, accepting yet another mystery as just part of everyday life with the Avatar.
After changing and brushing her hair, and discreetly dropping Aang's clothes in a laundry basket. Katara grabbed a cup of tea and took up her usual spot watching her boyfriend's workout, a dreamy look on her face as she rested her elbows on a rail. She kept thinking about how they'd drifted seamlessly together between sleeping and kissing all night, the thrilling way he'd rolled her onto her back and balanced on his elbows above her. He'd fallen asleep like that, and then she'd reversed the position when they woke again…..She'd dreamt of the previous night's play. She and Aang were either watching it or living it, or both, except the only line they said to each other the whole time had been "I love you." It had made the story both nonsensical and deeply true, in the way of the best dreams.
Her brother came to lean beside her. "Funny how that happened."
"What?" She asked warily.
"Aang wasn't in his room, and he didn't come past mine to go out the door, but your room happens to have a window to the courtyard."
She straightened up, reddening, getting ready to fight. She couldn't stand it if her brother tried to cheapen what she and Aang had felt last night with dirty insinuations. Her eyes stayed trained on the two firebenders as Sokka turned his back to the courtyard, leaning back against the rail. He scooted a little closer, crossed his arms and lowered his voice.
"I only want to say this one time. From now on, my policy is going to be: ignorance is bliss. There is nothing I want more than to ignore whatever you guys get up to, and pretend it's not happening, so I would really appreciate it if you would make that easy for me."
"I…..don't know what you're talking about."
Sokka laughed. "Playing dumb. On the one hand, I'm insulted. On the other, that's exactly what I'm looking for. You have a shred of plausible deniability, and I'm all too happy to allow you to continue to cling to it."
"I'm just a little surprised….." Katara began. It seemed like he wasn't going to fight her. This might even be his way of saying he approved.
Her brother sighed, resigned. "Look, you two treat each other well, you're happy, he's probably the only guy in the world who could even come close to being good enough for you, this is obviously a long term thing….."
"We're in love," she told him, unable to stop her grin.
"Yeah. I know." He rolled his eyes, like she'd just told him the sky was blue. "It would be stupid for me to get in the way of that, especially since you're just going to do whatever you're going to do, regardless of whether or not it's ok with me. Or with Dad and Gran Gran, who aren't even in this country. Suki pointed out I was holding a double standard, and she's right. But that doesn't mean I want to have it rubbed in my face. Understand?"
Katara thought about arguing against the patriarchal assumptions behind his words, but also noticed that he seemed to be in theoretical agreement with her on that issue already, which was definitely progress. She was smart enough to realize she'd been given a huge gift. "I understand, Sokka."
"Just don't make me an uncle yet, ok? I assume you know what to do, since you've been working as a healer and midwife, and…..Suki told me you're the one who gave her…..supplies…"
"You're welcome for that, by the way."
Sokka looked sheepish. "I know. Thank you. And…..I'm sorry."
Katara had rarely ever been so surprised. Her brother never apologized for anything. She decided to relent and assure him he didn't really have anything to worry about, not in that regard, not yet. "It's ok. And, Sokka, we haven't-"
He covered his ears. "But you will, and I don't want to know when it happens. As far as I'm concerned, my younger sister and her even younger boyfriend have never and will never do more than exchange chaste pecks and hold hands. Ignorance is bliss."
His ignorance, our bliss, she thought, incapable of restraining another smile from spreading across her face.
Mai came out then, with her own cup of tea, taking up her usual spot next to Katara to watch the firebenders' workout. Sokka nodded to her and went back inside, his message to his sister delivered.
The Fire Lord's girlfriend glanced over at her companion and noticed the euphoria radiating from deep within the waterbender. "I guess he said it back, then?" She inquired, smirking.
"He said it first." Katara gushed. "It was like we read each others' minds."
"It really made that much of a difference?" the other girl asked, nonplussed. "Just a few words made you feel that much better?"
"Maybe I'm just like, still high right now, but I really feel like there's nothing in the world that can bring us down or take us apart, ever. We can handle anything."
"Yeah, you're high." Mai chuckled. "It's cute."
"Thanks, I guess." Embarrassed, she turned the conversation away from herself. "Did you and Zuko like the play?"
"A lot better than The Boy in the Iceberg, that's for sure."
"Yeah. They cut the bondage scene." She thought Mai appreciated that deletion as much as she did.
"And all the little girls in that theater have been saved from learning that what a guy does when he likes a girl is tie her to a tree."
Katara cracked up. "You know, I didn't think about it like that, with that terrible play, but you're right! It really sent a bad message to put my character with Zuko's after everything he did. As if his obsessive chase was really some kind of romantic quest. And as if I…..enjoyed….any of it."
"If you felt any differently about it, I'd have to stab you." Mai deadpanned.
"The amazing thing is that any of us can be friends at all."
"It only works because your boyfriend is basically a saint."
Katara sighed. "He's so wonderful."
"He might be, but I don't think the bald thing is going to catch on."
"Probably not." The waterbender admitted. "But I saw some little girls at the theater last night who had their hair styled just like yours."
She rolled her eyes. "My 'signature style.'" She used air quotes to imitate the press secretary. "Makes it easy to be copied. Those little girls had better cheer just as hard when their Fire Lord finally marries the disowned harlot he's been living in sin with."
"That's bullshit. You're kind of a role model. Saving the hero. Going after what you want." Katara had been surprised to find that she actually admired some things about the dour girl she finally felt able to call a friend, and was now even more surprised to find herself saying so.
"You are too. You do the whole 'rah rah girl power' thing. From your first appearance on the stage. I respect that."
"It was cool to see your big moment in the play, since I missed it in real life. Although I know it happened in a different place. I never did thank you for saving my dad and brother, did I?"
"I guess not. That's ok, they weren't my focus."
"I know. I'm glad you saved Zuko too. And that Ty Lee saved you."
"And I'm glad you saved Zuko. And that you took down Azula without killing her. We're all glad everybody got saved."
Katara laughed. When she gave the Fire Lord's girlfriend the benefit of the doubt, trusting that her jokes were not mean-spirited, she was really quite funny. "How is she?" The waterbender asked carefully. She knew that Mai visited the asylum more frequently than anyone else.
"About the same. She has hallucinations. I don't think she can get better until she can accept that what she's seeing isn't real, or until we, or her doctors, can disrupt the visions somehow."
"Oh." Hearing about such suffering gave her an impulse to offer to help, if it were anyone but Azula. Maybe it was a sign that she was getting over her rage at the disturbed princess, or that time had made forgiveness just a little closer, almost within reach. Or, as she'd said earlier, maybe she was just still riding high. Katara didn't know much about how to use waterbending to heal mental illnesses. She asked herself if ridding a mind of hallucinations would work the same as when she'd freed Jet of his brainwashing. The thought of confronting Azula in person still chilled her, so she just said awkwardly, "I'm sorry to hear that."
"It's not your fault."
"I—I know." She paused, remembering something Zuko had said to her the last time they had discussed Azula. "And it's not your fault either."
"So Zuko tells me." Mai said mildly, calling out Katara subtly for talking to her boyfriend about her.
Trapped, Katara tried to figure out how to respond, but the boys ended up saving her. The firebenders finished their exercise, bowed to each other, and approached their girlfriends.
"Hi, sweetie!" Aang bounced over. "Want to go swimming?"
"There's nothing I'd love more," Katara declared.
Zuko and Mai watched the younger couple walk off toward the beach, their arms around each others' waists.
"Were we ever like that?" Mai wondered.
Zuko shifted uncomfortably. "Well, they've always been so…..sunny. And effusive. We just have more reserved personalities." He could see his girlfriend didn't really like that answer, so he clarified. "But if you're asking if you make me that happy-absolutely."
"I don't think you're even capable of glowing like that." She narrowed her eyes skeptically at him, and gestured to their friends. "Look at them. They're practically skipping."
"I was pretty thrilled when you first moved into the palace." He told her. "Maybe you didn't notice. You were kind of distracted by how angry you were with your father."
Mai looked down. "I guess I might have been too much of a wreck to be excited about anything at that time. The circumstances did kind of spoil things for me. Sorry. You should have a girl who's completely over the moon for you."
He was shaking his head. "What are you talking about? I don't want to be with anyone else."
She recognized the words, and they made one corner of her mouth pull up. "I know when I'll start acting like a love-drunk idiot."
"When?"
"On my 18th birthday." Impulsively, she tugged on his ring finger.
"Can't wait to see that." Zuko bent his head to hers. "Do you remember what you wanted me to do the last time we were here?" He slid his hand down her side, until his thumb rested on her hipbone, and squeezed.
"You were such a tease." Mai slapped lightly at his chest.
"I'm not teasing now."
"You'd better not be." She turned and walked up the stairs to their bedroom, the Fire Lord trailing behind her like a devoted pet.
Author's Note: I truly hope that scene was as satisfying for you to read as it was for me to write. It has been in the works for a very long time. Please let me know what you thought with a review!
If you're curious about the hints Mai and Zuko dropped here about their relationship, read my stories, "A Contentious Reunion," "Weathering the Storm," and "Healing Invisible Scars." Those last two are only available in full on An Archive of Our Own because they are explicit. I have the same author name there so you can find them easily.
Next chapter: the fluff explosion continues as Aang gives Katara a gift in return.