Beta'd by Greed720 and HardwinPotter

While the rest of Class 2-A had their regular school schedule, Izuku had morning classes swapped out for therapy sessions. With a piping hot cup of tea in hand, Izuku sat in front of Inui's desk. The room he found himself in was both familiar and foreign to him. He could remember it from previous sessions with his mother involved, but the whole time, he said what his Quirk prompted him to.

Now, with no idea what to say, his attention was drawn to the rest of the room. The ferns growing in the corners had yellowed leaves along their edges, and a layer of dust was building up on the bookcases. Papers were stacked high on the floor next to Inui's desk, and the computer was shoved aside.

"Are you feeling comfortable?" Inui asked. "Anything else I can get you?"

"I-I'm fine," Izuku stammered. "So, uh, what now?"

"We'll try to understand how your Quirk functions first. We know that it sends memories back in time to you, but we don't know how those memories come about in the first place. In other words, we don't know what drives your Quirk. What goal or goals does it have? How does it ensure that the future it predicts comes about? What happens when that future changes? Is the emotional detachment a result of your Quirk, or a symptom of something else?"

"That's a lot of questions."

Inui dug out a piece of paper and a pen and handed them to Izuku. "We'll tackle them one at a time. First, let's focus on goals. Make two columns. On the left, put what you want for yourself. On the right, put what you think your Quirk wants for you. Don't scratch anything out that you put down, okay?"

Izuku split the paper in two. His first desire was immediately written on the left - saving as many people as he can. Once he wrote that phrase down, he looked at all the empty space below it. He felt pressured to add to it, but as he racked his brain for ideas, he came up with nothing.

Once Izuku moved on to the right side, he had to stop and think. The first item was easy as well - hiding/escaping notice. Below that, he added saving others, and after some thought, added a ranking system, giving hiding a one and saving a two. When he thought back to Iida and his older brother, he amended it with - prioritize classmates.

He was tempted to leave it, but its strange behavior around Mina gave him another idea. As he mulled it over, he made a few aborted attempts that Inui had to remind him to leave alone. He made emotional stability a two as well, tying with saving others. After all, once that dream had shattered around his ears, his Quirk had literally picked him up off the floor, and he couldn't be sure which his Quirk prioritized between the two tied points.

Thinking back on that relationship, Izuku's pen drifted back to his own side. The question of whether or not he still wanted her lingered in his mind. The thought of that break-up was enough to twist a knife in his chest. He knew it was hopeless, knew that he would never be what she wanted out of him. When he looked up and saw Inui watching him with open interest, Izuku knew he shouldn't try to deny it. Mina was written in tiny letters.

Izuku gave it another ten minutes, but by the end, he could not think of another word to put down. With a tense sigh, he passed it back to Inui. On a different page, Inui took notes while he studied Izuku's answers.

"What made you rank your Quirk's desires?" Inui asked.

"Well, it has tried to save people when it could, but only if it stayed a secret. It would never let me tell anyone about it. I still don't understand why I couldn't do something simple, like make an anonymous call about something that will happen."

"Probably because anonymous calls like that are traced," Inui said while he was writing. "If someone has information on villain attacks, the HPSC wants to know who it is. Specific Quirks can trace back the phone lines or even get a visual image of who's speaking. Verified calls are always matched with a person's identity."

"And if it was a six-year old with information on villains, they would investigate, wouldn't they?"

"It would certainly raise questions." Inui passed the number back and asked, "Can you rank your own desires?"

Without hesitation, Izuku put a one in front of saving lives. Inui nodded to himself when he saw it.

"It's overly simplified, but I think it would help to think about the hierarchy of needs. It starts with physiological needs, food, water, shelter, and sleep. Next comes personal safety and stability. After that, emotional attachments, like friends, family, and love." Izuku cringed at the last point. "Then there's self-esteem and recognition, status and fame, feelings of self worth. Only once all those are achieved, can we pursue self-actualization, or in other words, becoming the person who we want to be."

Izuku checked his list. "I think I get it. My Quirk is prioritizing my own safety over others because of this hierarchy, right? And it wouldn't let me reveal my Quirk because I wouldn't be safe if that happened. Then it's trying to save my classmates - emotional attachment, and only after that, saving other people. That's why it tried to make me leave when the League of Villains attacked, it was putting my safety before everything else."

"What about your list? How do you think your desires fall under this hierarchy?"

"Saving people is self-actualization. It's who I want to be. And, uh, I guess Mina's emotional attachment?"

"Right. There's a lot of desires missing on your side. Why don't you try filling more in and ranking them?"

Izuku started with the basics, food, water, and sleep at the bottom, and right above that, he hesitated for a moment before putting safety. Mina stayed, and he put classmates and mom right next to it. After some thought, Izuku put down his Twitter following and working with Endeavor at the next highest spot, and he left saving people at the top.

He did the same for his Quirk. The bottom stayed the same, but when he went to write safety, he hesitated. His Quirk had led him to death on more than one occasion. It didn't care about keeping him alive. Emotional stability stayed where it was, since his Quirk hadn't worked when he was confused with his feelings with Mina. Once the two above matched the other side of the line, he passed it back to Hound Dog.

"There's a couple differences," Inui said. "You didn't put your safety down for your Quirk. Does your Quirk not take your safety into account?"

"There were multiple times where I was supposed to die." Izuku thought for a moment and added, "The only time it tried to keep me alive was before the Beast's Forest incident. I think that's because I told my Quirk to stop showing me all the times I would have failed. It showed me running away and hiding. It tried to force me, but it didn't feel as strong as the first times I fought it. Maybe half strength?"

Izuku stared into his tea and muttered to himself. "When my Quirk can't decide on a future, it shows overlapping futures. Me running away was one possible future, and having my Quirk erased was another, but the second future never came back, so I thought I only saw the first one. But then, why didn't I get any glimpse of the second future? When I got my Quirk erased the first time, I could still see the alternate future, though vaguely, but I never saw the true future. Was the duration of having my Quirk erased important? It was only a few seconds then, that might have disrupted the flow, but not entirely. Aizawa also said my reaction changed his mind. Did what I see influence the outcome? If I had seen myself getting into the hero course, would I have acted differently? I'd have something more to lose, might have panicked more."

While Izuku mumbled, Inui hastily wrote down everything he could hear. The implications of time travel and paradoxes escaped him, but he hoped Aizawa could sort it all out. Once Izuku derailed onto other Quirk-related tangents, Inui said, "We can discuss the details of your Quirk later. For now, let's come back to your list. You put down that you're concerned about your own safety, right?"

"I think so?"

Inui's hackles rose at the hesitance in Izuku's voice. Thinking back on all the situations he knew where Izuku had put himself in harm's way, Inui asked, "If you could trade your life for another, would you?"

"Yes." Inui winced at the lack of hesitation. Izuku hastily added, "If there was no other way. It's what heroes do, right?"

"A hero's job is to save people. They can't do that if they're dead."

"But there's heroes, like the Water Hose duo, who had to sacrifice themselves to save others. Isn't that what a hero's supposed to do?"

Inui wasn't sure this was an argument he could win, not when Izuku was showing zero hesitation when he otherwise held a nervous posture. Instead, he consulted the list, trying for a way to steer the conversation. "I notice you specifically said you want to save people. It's a rather odd way of putting it. Is there a reason you didn't just put 'be a hero' instead?"

"I guess not? I mean, it was what I wanted to do, but my Quirk showed me that it was impossible. I couldn't do anything to save people even when I knew weeks in advance that there would be a fire in one neighborhood. So, I thought I'd be happy if I could just save someone." Izuku paused. "I think I thought like that before the Quirk came in, even. They said I was Quirkless, and someone without a Quirk can't be a hero, but I still really wanted to help people. Then my Quirk showed me I'd never make it that far, but at least I knew I'd be able to save Kacchan, so it was fine. I was happy with it, knowing I could at least do something."

"You were happy giving up your life for someone else?"

Izuku nodded firmly.

"Do you think your life is not worth as much as someone else's?"

"Well, I knew Kacchan would be a hero one day. He was too amazing not to. I knew I'd never be a hero, but at least he could be."

"What about the people that would miss you? Friends? Your mother?"

"I never spoke to anyone at school, so none of them would have missed me. I know mom would be sad, but she'd be better off without me. She wouldn't have to work two jobs anymore, not with the money I had saved up."

"How much did you have?"

Inui's eyebrows shot up when Izuku gave the sum. "How did you make all of that money?"

"Art commissions. I spent pretty much all my time working on them. My Quirk made it easy, I could draw perfectly knowing how the result would turn out. I made as much as a quarter of a million yen some months."

All sorts of alarm bells were going off in Inui's head, but he ignored them and asked, "What about your classmates here? Do you think any of them would miss you?"

"I don't think so?" Cracks formed in Izuku's confidence. "I mean, I've been lying to them this whole time. They're mad at me, and they're right to be."

"What about Koda-san?" Inui asked, remembering how he had signed Izuku to snap him out of an impending panic attack. "Do you think he's mad at you?"

"Why wouldn't he be? I lied to him too. I also used him to beat Kacchan and Todoroki on the second day." Izuku faltered as he remembered Koda's encouraging smile while he was frozen behind the podium. "He didn't look mad."

"When he signed at you, how did you feel?"

Izuku struggled for a moment. "Happy. I felt happy, right? I'm… not really sure."

"Do you have a hard time remembering what emotions are like?"

"Yeah. It's hard, everything feels so… overwhelming. I feel constantly on edge, like Shigaraki might pop out of nowhere if I'm not careful, like he did that one time."

"What do you mean, that one time?"

As Izuku explained what happened during his first date with Mina, Inui felt his mane going gray. He sent Aizawa a note to find footage of that incident and transcribed Izuku's entire account.

"Back to where we were before," Inui said, "How would you feel if Koda died?"

"Awful. I could never let that happen."

"Then how do you think he would feel?"

Izuku froze. Sullenly, he said, "He'd feel awful too, wouldn't he?"

"Considering how he interacts with you, I think that's a safe assumption. What about Iida, or Todoroki? Both of them spoke highly of you." Inui knew he was skirting confidentiality there, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"So, if I was gone, they would feel bad about that?" Izuku wiped tears onto his sleeve. "I didn't realize. Why would they care so much about me?"

"Do you think that you're the only person that cares about people, or do you think that there's something about you that keeps others from caring about you?"

"The last one." Izuku fought to keep his voice steady. "This whole time I was saying I was Quirkless. Everyone back at Aldera always made fun of me for that, said I was worthless and stuff, so why would anyone here be any different? I mean, I guess no one ever said anything about it, but they all have to be thinking it, right?"

"Have you ever asked them what they thought of you?" Inui asked. "Though I can't go into details, I know that a lot of your classmates thought you were amazing for accomplishing as much as you did without a Quirk."

"O-oh." Izuku's face ran through a whole gamut of emotions, from hope and joy, all the way to despair. "They thought I was amazing because my Quirk made me that way. I lied to them all. How could they not hate me for that?"

"You didn't have a choice. Your Quirk was not within your control. I admit that some of them appear to feel resentful that your Quirk has been kept a secret this whole time, but once they realize you aren't to blame for that, that resentment will fade. Give them time."

"That's why we're having those one-on-one sessions, right?"

Inui scratched at the back of his head. "That's the main reason, but we won't be starting those until I'm satisfied that the other students will be respectful and that you're emotionally stable enough to handle those interactions."

Izuku shrank into his chair. Sensing Izuku's sudden downturn of emotion, Inui checked his notes for a new topic to discuss.

"I notice that Mina's not a part of your Quirk's interests."

"Well, it turned itself off anytime Mina was involved. Although…" Izuku blushed and looked away nervously.

Inui caught a faint whiff of hormones that were all too common in a school that crammed together teenage boys and physically fit girls in skintight costumes. "Did your Quirk show you something?"

"It, uh, showed me k-kissing Mina," Izuku admitted. "It just felt wrong, though. It had me acting really weird to get her interest."

"Could you describe in detail?"

"I don't really remember it all. It was just a glimpse before it stopped."

"How did it make you feel?"

"Wrong, like I was using her. But…" Izuku took a deep breath. He glanced at the door and asked, "Do I have to say it?"

"You don't have to. If you're not comfortable telling me something, don't push yourself. We can take this as slow as you need to."

Izuku steeled himself and said, "I still wanted it. It felt nice. Warm. Amazing. I don't really know how else to describe it."

"Would you say you were torn between getting her interest and not using your Quirk to get it?"

"I guess? I still don't see why it turned itself off. I feel like it needs emotional stability to work. I wasn't thinking straight, so it didn't send anything back? But then, how did I get that first glimpse? Did it throw off my emotional balance enough to undo what I had seen? Then why didn't I see how it ended? Was it because I saw the complete picture all at once that I rejected it? Would I have gone down that path if I didn't know how it ended?"

As he listened to Izuku ramble about his conflicted feelings, Inui felt an epiphany. Considering how self-harming his Quirk had been, Aizawa and Nezu had considered that his Quirk had some degree of sentience, like Dark Shadow. What Izuku described, however, seemed more a product of turbulent emotions than a partitioned sentience.

"Izuku, would you say that your Quirk is uncertain when you don't know how you feel?"

Izuku furrowed his brow. "Yes? I think that sounds right."

"Do you believe your Quirk has a goal in mind?"

"Keeping itself hidden." Izuku hesitated. "But it's not hidden anymore. Maybe it's trying to avoid the consequence of my Quirk becoming public knowledge? But then why…"

Izuku drifted off. He still hadn't told them about the last vision he had. A warehouse, with the villains tied up. Nighteye and Mirio were helping Yaoyorozu up onto a stretcher. A villain pulled a dart gun and aimed it at All Might. Izuku dove in front of him, took the dart in his chest. He was still on his feet as a burning sensation crept up his neck and the vision cut itself off. All Might would die if he wasn't there. Did he dare tell them what was going to happen?

"Is everything alright, Izuku?" Inui asked.

"I'm fine," Izuku said hastily. "Just thinking."

His Quirk wouldn't be a problem if he was dead. Yet, it didn't feel like he was dying. What kind of poison was that?

"After everything you've mentioned so far, I think we can rule out any sentience of your Quirk."

"That can't be right," Izuku snapped. "I don't have any control over it. Even now, it's only off because it's supposed to be off. You'd be mad at me otherwise, right? It can't be, this whole time, if I could have saved those people, why wouldn't it let me?"

"What happened when you tried?"

"I fought it. I couldn't take it, it was too painful."

"Can you describe the pain?"

Izuku leaned over the desk and rubbed his head. "Intense, burning, like my head was splitting apart. I fought it until I couldn't take it anymore."

"If you thought the whole world was going to die, would you have fought it harder?"

"You're saying that the pain is a way for my Quirk to force me to decide between two bad paths? If there was a negative feedback loop, the information would repeatedly circle in on itself, never resolving on a future. Is the pain build-up from the future constantly fluctuating? Then, does it only stop when one of those two possible Izuku's stops resisting what they see?"

As Izuku pondered the mechanics of his Quirk he hit upon a loophole in his logic. "If it forces resolution between two paths with a negative feedback loop, why was the Beast's Forest different? Greater uncertainty, more possible paths? Or was it because I was unable to make a decision between any of those visible futures? The negative feedback loop got interrupted by Aizawa-sensei's Quirk, then with the secret out anyways, I was able to save everyone with Monoma-san's help."

Izuku trailed off, still thinking about the implications of his Quirk. He searched for his backpack and checked his pockets, but his hero journals weren't on him.

"We've established that your Quirk isn't sentient, right?"

Izuku twitched and looked up. "Oh, uh, yes Hound Dog-san.

"I think your Quirk operates based on your desires. It shows you the future that you want to carry out, or failing that, resist the least."

"My desires? Like, what I want? Why wouldn't I be in control of my Quirk like that?"

"Can you control which flavor of ice cream you prefer? Or which hero is your favorite? Our desires are deeply rooted in our subconscious. I don't think you will ever have complete control over your Quirk, but if you're aware of your own desires, it may help you steer your future in a healthier direction."

"So, if I saw a future that I kept from happening, then my Quirk would show me what I did differently. Like, say, if I got punched, sent that memory back, then dodged knowing that punch was coming, I would then get a memory of dodging that punch and dodge the punch, forming a positive feedback loop. If I know which desires I have, I'll know how those feedback loops are formed and maybe decide for myself if they're right?"

"I think that sounds right," Inui said. "Quirk therapy isn't my expertise, since that usually happens when you're younger, but it sounds like we have a handle on your Quirk works. Now that we know that your desires play a pivotal role in how your Quirk generates your future, our next step is figuring out what those desires are and how to give you a healthier outlook to keep your futures from being self-destructive."

"Great! So, how do we do that?"

Inui made some more notes in Izuku's file and set it aside. "We'll have to work that out as we go along. For now, I recommend finding a classmate you can trust and sticking close to them. With how accustomed you are to your Quirk managing your emotions, I believe you will be prone to panic attacks and mood swings until you adjust to living without it. Having someone close by to help you in those situations would be helpful."

"Should I explain all this to them?" Izuku asked.

"Only if you're comfortable with it. Even if they don't know what's going on, they should at least be able to get Aizawa or myself. For the next week, keep a notebook on hand. Write down everything that makes you feel happy. Alright?"

When Izuku walked out of Hound Dog's office, feeling refreshed by the sense of progress and understanding, he found himself wishing that he had opened up about his Quirk a year ago.

Koda's first day at U.A. had been nerve-wracking. He felt as though his presence were a mistake. The rats had done all the work for him, chewing the robot's wires at his orders. Surrounded by Quirks that seemed so much stronger than his, surrounded by boisterous strangers that terrified him with their shouting and unpredictable behavior, Koda had considered dropping out and going home. Never had those thoughts been stronger than when he had been pitted against the two scariest students in the class with an unassuming, Quirkless classmate at his side.

Izuku had been like a solid rock amidst a roiling sea. Quiet, yet confident, and somehow knowing exactly what to say to make his fear recede. Koda might have only been tagging along as Izuku smashed through Todoroki and Bakugo, but for the first time since coming to U.A., Koda felt as though he belonged there. Even as the other classmates started talking to him and the coursework became more difficult and physically demanding, even as maniacs with scorpion tails and other villains chased after him at the USJ, all he needed to do was remember that Izuku had faith in him to believe that he could handle it.

Seeing Izuku behind that podium, hunched over and nervous, had been a shock to Koda. He felt worried at first, wondering what could make Izuku, who never showed any emotion, so afraid. As the silence stretched out after Izuku's first faltering words, Koda had remembered the combat training, that reassuring smile that didn't seem to reach Izuku's eyes, the hollow confidence that they could win, and felt his resolve harden. If Izuku had been worried like that deep down and still had the strength to help him out, then Koda could do the same. All he could offer were a few reassuring hand signs. The smile he got in return, genuine in a way Izuku's expressions had never been before, had meant the world to Koda.

When Izuku took Koda aside a few days later and explained that he needed someone to help him when his emotions spiraled out of control, Koda agreed. Now he could be the rock in Izuku's storm.

A/N: now we're back to our regularly scheduled programming. Quick little PSA, I'm no psychiatrist, psychologist, or anyone remotely qualified to offer any form of mental health advice. Please do not attempt to use any thoughts or ideas in this work of fanfiction. Please consult a professional for mental health advice.

With that disclaimer out of the way, yes, there'll be plenty more of stuff like this for the next few chapters. Buckle up! Izuku's filled out his mental issues bingo, and it's time to cash it all in.

On the personal side of things, work's as busy as ever, because that person who was supposed to start work this month never showed up! That means if I'm really lucky, they'll have someone from within the plant fill the position, which might take a month, or more likely, it'll be three to four months before they get someone from outside the plant hired on, trained, and assigned to my shift. Yay.

At least I have today off to get some cleaning done, make a pot roast, and get this chapter touched up and sent out.

One last thing – the one year anniversary of this story is coming up! Specifically, the first chapter of this story came out on 6/14/20. I figured it'd be fun to cook up a little something special for that day. That's in the pipeline right now. More on that on the chapter post the day before the anniversary.

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Wildarms13: "Just want to clarify though, which part of the story caused hawk to be assigned to MLA rather than the league of villans?"

Bardothren: Uhh… next!

John F Kendrick: "I really hope Overhaul isn't dead, he's such a great villain and it seems like a waste to off him in one chapter."

Bardothren: Oh, he's super dead. I agree he's a good villain to have around and definitely has his uses in a lot of different stories, but his ideology doesn't tie well into the themes of this story and I never had any real plans for him.

oddReviews: "Why people think eri will lose her quirk when overhaul rant at mirio for his stupidity over beliving that he would risk eri or that a bullet with her flesh would work on her"

Bardothren: Yes, that, I totally remembered that line from the canon and took that into full consideration when crafting this story. I am definitely not frantically rewriting my mental notes on Eri's fate.

Kind of a toss-up here, actually. I don't actually see why Eri's Quirk couldn't theoretically work on herself, unless she had some sort of built-in immunity to keep her Quirk from backfiring. I feel as though that bit could safely be ignored or explained away if an author truly desired to have Eri lose her Quirk. For now… uh… I'll have to think about it. The aftershocks of last chapter are still rippling through the tattered ruins of my former outline.

Alright, that's it, I'm getting some lunch. Enjoy!