Tony took the reins on finding a suitable fit for the kinds of doctors they needed. It almost seemed like Tony had a list unusually fast, as if he'd been working on this before, but Steve didn't ask. And if Tony dropped an individually curated list on everyone's floor a couple days later, no one said anything. They weren't going to be able to start seeing anyone until after the start of the new year, thanks to all of Tony's careful vetting and the non-disclosure agreements being drawn up. Now all Steve could do was sit back and fret about everything, after he made one last phone call.
He'd been thinking about this since he told the team about not being able to be Captain America anymore. While the world could get by without him, as they already had for decades, it had come to depend on the others. It wouldn't be fair to the people they could help to stop the rest of the team from doing their jobs. And it wouldn't be fair to the team to hold them back.
Maybe he was being a little bit of a coward doing it this way, but being direct would pretty much take away their opportunity to argue with him. They could decide for themselves after the fact if they wanted to keep going without him. Tony at least was willing to go on this last mission without him, so the others might feel the same way too. And as much as it would be agony to see them go, he would have to respect their decision, just as they respected his.
There was a lot of extra togetherness these days, with Christmas almost upon them, so Steve had to get a little creative to get some time to himself. He told everyone he was going back to his floor to finish wrapping their Christmas presents, so they really couldn't justify following him. He just really didn't want this call to be overheard.
Steve took his cell out of the drawer he kept it in, tapping on the back as he geared himself up. If the call went poorly, maybe that was just a sign that he should've left sooner. You never really knew what you were going to get when you talked to the man. That earlier understanding was probably just a courtesy that had expired by this point.
He finally pressed the buttons to make the call, only to be immediately placed on hold, which he should've been expecting. Steve's life had somehow turned into a lot of waiting. This wasn't as bad as those nights sitting alone in his apartment, but this time he knew there was most likely something unpleasant waiting for him on the other side.
"It's good to hear from you again so soon, Captain," Fury said in greeting. If the man sounded unusually congenial, Steve tried not to think much of it.
"Thank you, sir. I hope the cleanup after the mission went smoothly?" Steve asked. The higher ups should've been jumping for joy at the lack of damage they caused to the building and surrounding area this time, if they were ever happy.
"Yes, it did. Turns out the woman with the broken arm was a Shield agent who'd been turned down for a promotion. She brought in some hired guns to make it look like outside forces were coming in to steal valuable information, while she would steal it herself and sell it to the highest bidder," Fury explained. "I'm not sure how she thought she'd get away with it, but I guess she wasn't the brightest. Hence the rejected promotion."
"Well, I'm glad we were able to get there in time before anyone innocent got hurt," Steve said, feeling kind of annoyed that he'd had to relive past trauma in the field due to a disgruntled employee. "And our reports on the mission were satisfactory?" Tony had volunteered Clint to write their reports for them, since he'd caused that little bit of chaos at the end. He'd agreed, since he still felt so guilty about it, even after Steve assured him there were no hard feelings. They'd all read them over and put their seals of approval on before sending them off. And for some reason, Tony had been calling Clint "Breakfast Club" ever since.
"I think we can consider the whole case closed," Fury said, chuckling a little. "So are you calling to volunteer for another mission?"
"Um, about that," Steve started, taking a deep breath to brace himself. Before he could continue, Fury cut him off.
"Relax Captain Rogers, I'm not going to send you out there without your team," Fury sighed. Why would Steve be going out alone? Had he missed something?
"Sir?"
"Pretty strange luck that right after we get you back and ready, three of your teammates go down. What was it that happened again?"
"Uh-"
"Oh, that's right. Clint fell down the stairs and broke his collarbone, Natasha broke her ankle training with Thor, and Tony, Tony was a bit more vague. Something about a lab accident that will put him on the shelf until further notice. Tough break, and right before Christmas as well," Fury huffed. Steve was completely flabbergasted, but he wasn't going to contradict anything the man was saying.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"Nothing anyone can do about it now," Fury said gruffly, yelling something to someone on his side of the phone. "I have to go to a meeting, but I'll be in touch. If any unearthly threats pop up, I know who to call."
"Thank you, sir," Steve replied, staring down at the phone as the other line disconnected. That wasn't at all what he had been expecting. He didn't even get to say what he'd been stressing over, but he couldn't call back and say it now. And there was the little matter of his team's mysterious injuries. Steve had to go back up and see what was really going on.
He rode the elevator to the common floor where he'd left everyone earlier. That's where you could find everyone most days, just laying about and staring at the giant Christmas tree Tony had delivered earlier in the month. It was mostly red and gold, but he'd gotten everyone a special ornament to hang themselves. Of course Steve's was a little shield.
Steve found them in the living room, everyone crowded around the coffee table while Natasha and Clint arm wrestled. Tony was trying to entice the others into making bets with him, but no one was agreeing. Betting against Natasha would be dangerous.
"Hey Steve, how was wrapping presents?" Tony asked with a smirk.
"I take it you know that's not what I was doing?" Steve sighed, wondering why he ever bothered trying to get away with anything around these people.
"Your scissors are still on my floor," Natasha snorted, crowing with glee as she pressed Clint's arm flat on the table.
"Was that really a fair match? That couldn't have felt good with Clint's broken collarbone," Steve said, his voice dripping with mock concern.
"Ah, so that's what you were up to," Tony nodded, grinning mischievously. "How was Jolly Old St. Nick?"
"Will someone please explain to me what's going on?" Steve asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"We didn't want to go out on missions without you, so we fabricated a few reasons to make sure that didn't happen," Clint explained.
"Why would you do that?"
"It's one thing for Clint and I to go out on regular missions for Shield, but we aren't going out there as The Avengers without you. There is no Avengers team without all of us," Natasha said matter-of-factly.
"Does that mean you didn't fight without me?" Thor asked, looking around at the group.
"Uhhhh…" Clint said nervously, scrunching his nose.
"You were there in spirit, big guy," Tony chuckled. "And that rule doesn't really apply when you're not on the same planet."
"But what if they need us? Need you?" Steve asked, trying not to feel frustrated. He didn't want the world to suffer because he couldn't fight at his full potential.
"The world rarely needs us specifically. Shield has so many trained agents who are well equipped to take care of any issue that pops up," Natasha assured him. "Clint and I were doing just fine before all of you came into the picture. But if there is any type of otherworldly threat, we can make an exception."
"What about this last mission though? We were specifically requested for this. If that happens again, you'll just say no?" Steve questioned.
"This was a softball. An easy job to keep the higher ups happy with a tally in the win column," Natasha snorted, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "That should keep them satiated for a while."
"I don't want to keep you all from living your lives," Steve sighed, leaning against the back of the couch in resignation. "I know I was adamant about going with you for that last mission, but that's my issue to work on. Worrying about me shouldn't stop you from doing what you want to do."
"Do you think I really want to be doing all this? I turned Fury down so many times before I joined this team. But do you know why I stay?" Tony asked, walking over to stand with him. "I'm here because of you guys. Because you are my family and I go where you go. I'm not a spy or an agent. I'm just a guy who saves the world with my friends."
"But what if I never get back to what I was?" Steve asked, looking around to all of them. Would the world lose such an important asset in this team?
"Then I can go back to saving the world in a different way."
"This is too much pressure. I can't be the deciding factor on how you all live your lives," Steve argued. If everyone was waiting to make their next move while watching to see what Steve did, it would be very easy to become distracted with that instead of focusing on what he needed to do for himself.
"What we do or don't do is our own decision to make. No one is forcing us either way. Personal accountability is a thing and I'm not going to let you blame yourself for any moves we decide to make," Tony said firmly, placing a strong hand on his forearm. "Remember that earlier advice I gave you, about taking things one day at a time? I think that applies now too. Focus on what you need to do and not what could happen in the future. None of us have made any irreversible decisions, okay?"
"Just promise me you'll all think of yourselves before you think of me, okay?" Steve implored, needing the verbal confirmation to assuage any lingering guilt.
"Only if you promise the same," Tony challenged, raising an eyebrow at him. Steve took a deep breath, trying to let go of the need to control everything around him. He had to accept the outcome of everyone's choices, instead of trying to trace back every bad possibility to his own decision. They were right; they'd all been living their lives for a long time before he came along and he had to trust that they knew what was best for themselves.
"Deal."