Chapter Forty-Seven: Life is Hell and James is the Devil

"Now, as you know," said Professor McGonagall, "this year, you will be taking your O.W.L. exams. They are extremely important, and I expect that you all will be taking them very seriously."

Sirius leaned over to James. "I always take everything Siriusly," he whispered loudly. James groaned and smacked him on the back of the head.

"All of your teachers will be starting review for these exams," she continued. "You will spend most of the second semester reviewing. However, that is not enough, and I expect all of you to be studying in your own free time as well. I cannot emphasize to you how important these exams are in determining your future. Your O.W.L. scores will determine what N.E.W.T.s you'll be able to take, which will be vital in your career paths. Any questions?"

There were no questions, and she dismissed them, with a stern reminder to start studying. Sirius groaned loudly as they stepped out of the classroom. "I don't want to fucking study for that long."

"They're important," Remus reminded him.

"I don't care."

"You need them to get a job."

"I'm a Black."

Remus turned and looked at Sirius, his hands on his hips and his eyebrow cocked.

"Come on, Remy, you know it's true. You know how fucking biased and nepotistic the Wizarding World is."

Remus just shook his head, sighing. "You still need to study, Sirius."

Sirius groaned, but Remus ignored it. "I want butterbeer," said James suddenly. "It's so fucking cold, I think my balls fell off like an hour ago. Let's go get some from the kitchen."

"It's a lot harder to sneak into the kitchens during the day," said Peter anxiously. "Also, your balls wouldn't be cold if you would just wear more clothing."

"Is that why you haven't asked Evans out this afternoon yet?" asked Sirius. "You don't have the balls to?"

"Really? That's the best you can do?"

"Am I wrong?"

James glared at him. He scanned the hallway, spotting Lily a few steps in front of them. "Oi! Evans!" he called.

She turned around, clearly very annoyed. "What do you want?"

"Want to go out with me?"

She sighed. "I'd rather go out with a dementor."

Sirius patted James on the back sympathetically. "It was a valiant attempt," he said. "But she's never going to say yes."

"Just you wait," muttered James. "I'm going to prove all you fuckers wrong one day."

"I can't wait," said Sirius sarcastically.

Sirius pushed the door to their dorm open and threw his books onto his bed, before collapsing in the middle of the floor. James dropped his books on the floor, dangerously close to Sirius's head. "I'm going to go get us some butterbeer," he said, pulling his cloak out of his trunk. "Any other requests?"

"Nope," said Remus.

"Perfect. I'll be back in 10 minutes."

After dinner, the four boys sat in a circle on the floor, playing a game that Peter liked to call "Life is Hell and James is the Devil," and that James liked to call "Truth or Dare but Without the Dares." Remus had pointed out that they should just call it "Truth or Drink," but everyone else agreed that "Truth or Drink" just didn't have the same ring to it.

James had a bottle of firewhiskey, and they each had a full shot glass. They would go around in a circle, asking a person of their choice any question that they wanted to. They either had to answer the question or take the shot.

James turned to Remus, a slightly sadistic look in his eye. "Remus," he said, "on a scale of one to ten, how good are Sirius's blowjobs."

Remus turned dark red. "James!" he said. "What- why- no- why?"

Sirius was staring at James, his elbows resting on his knees, just flipping him off.

"I need a definite answer," said James."

Remus wouldn't look at him, and just took the shot. James laughed.

"Why would you ask that?" asked Peter.

"Because I knew he wouldn't answer," laughed James. "No matter what the answer was."

Sirius groaned, covering his face in his hands. "I fucking hate you, James," he said.

James shrugged. "It's your turn."

Sirius thought about his question long and hard. The problem was that James, unlike Remus, had no shame, and probably wouldn't care about what his answer was. "James," he said slowly. James looked over at him expectantly. "Weirdest place you've ever had sex."

James thought about it. It was definitely too long that he was thinking about it. Sirius hoped that there weren't a bunch of places that he was thinking about. "Owlery," said James finally.

"You what?" burst out Peter.

"Not your turn, not your turn," said James.

He was annoyed at Sirius, because James was rather proud of hardly drinking during the game. They all knew James hardly ever drank, which meant James got the worst questions, because they knew he would answer them.

"Remus, you go."

Remus was extremely tipsy, and couldn't really think probably. "Who was your first kiss?" he asked, turning to James.

"Mary MacDonald."

For some reason, that was extremely funny to Remus, and he fell over against Sirius, laughing uncontrollably. Sirius poked Remus, which only caused him to laugh more. James groaned. "I guess it's time to call it a night, then?"

"At least for Remus," said Sirius.

He tossed his and Remus's shot glasses to James, and helped his boyfriend stand up. "Let's go, Remy," he said. "Into bed with you."

They did this about once a month, on Friday nights. Usually James and Sirius would go to the party that happened in the seventh year boys' dorm, but they would sometimes stay in. Remus and Peter weren't party people, and would only go occasionally.

James shoved the firewhiskey and shot glasses under his bed, with a shirt covering them so that they weren't blatantly visible, but didn't really care about hiding them well at the moment. He yawned, stretching, then climbed into bed.

Peter was the last to get up, stumbling as he did so. He turned off the lights and collapsed onto his bed. He was probably just about as tipsy as Remus, and was going to be equally hungover the next morning.

A/N:

showered. it sucked ass. still hate myself. but that's nothing new

just a reminder that this book is almost over, there are 3 chapters left. the next book will be posted a day or two after this one is completed. you can get the notification for that by subscribing to me. or not. idk lmao

also if anyone has rlly sad movie requests, please let me know, because i need some sad movies. i'm going to watch requiem for a dream tonight which is probably going to fuck me up, but like in a sad movie good way. i need something cathartic to make me cry, ya feel me?

ur all doing so amazing, i'm so proud of you. drink some water, eat a little something, try to get some sleep. i love you so much 3

ktf xolyn