I feel the sound of the alarm going off in the distance. But I don't think I have the energy to get up. I try to reach over to the coffee table to turn it off, but something is holding me back. Something huge that won't let me move. I open my eyes wide and then I remember where I am. In Christian's apartment, in his bed. I stare at the white ceiling as the faint light of dawn begins to filter through the panoramic windows of the room. I don't even remember the curtains being drawn. Something moves across my chest and into my belly and only then do I look down. A strong arm presses me against the mattress.

Christian is asleep next to me as he clings to my body as if I were his lifeline in a shipwreck. The sheet partially covering his body. When I say partially I mean it doesn't even cover him. Which gives me a good view of his stunning naked body. And when I say naked body, I also mean his ass.

I carefully move his arm away from my body and slip out of bed. He doesn't wake up, but clings to the sheet and I take the opportunity to go to the bathroom while admiring his naked ass. I close the door and stop in front of the mirror as I rinse my face with water and stare at myself.

Did he sleep with me last night? I was planning to wake up alone in his bed, but instead I woke up with his body wrapped around mine. This is so strange. He had told me he didn't sleep with anyone for fear of hurting her, but nothing has happened. Although I imagine after everything we did last night he's so exhausted he can't even get up. I think this is something we need to talk about in the session with the psychologist. I rinse my face with water again and everything he told me about what happened at the gala comes back to my mind. And so do the memories of my past. A tear slides down my cheek and I splash water on my face again. I look at the shower in the reflection of the mirror and for a moment I think about continuing to meditate under the hot water. But I know that as soon as the hot water hits my skin, it will bring back memories of the night before. Hot and exciting memories.

So I decide to leave the bathroom and stand under the door frame while I admire the specimen sleeping like a log in the center of the bed. Christian hasn't moved from where I left him. And from where I stand I have a good view of his naked ass.

—It looks delicious and tempting enough to sink my teeth into. —I say to myself as I bite my lower lip.

—Are you staring at my ass? —I feel his pasty voice as he shifts on the bed and turns to me looking for me.

—Excuse me?

—You just said I look delicious and tempting enough to sink your teeth into. —he says, getting up from the bed and walking in my direction.

Apparently I didn't say it for myself His imposing physique continues to affect me, he is pure hard muscle everywhere you look. He stops right in front of me. I still can't get used to the height difference, but nevertheless I don't look away from him. Not even when he stick his body to mine, letting me feel his erection.

—So early? Last night wasn't enough? —I ask him as I lose myself in his gaze when he smiles at me.

—You know it will never be enough, besides, in case you didn't know, it's called morning erection for a reason.

—Aha. You need to take care of your morning erection while I go get breakfast ready. —I say trying to walk past him, but he stops me.

—You didn't answer my question. —he says with a smile as he rests a hand on either side of the door frame and brings his face close to mine. —Were you looking at my ass?

—Can't I look at it? —I answer with another question.

—You can look all you want. —he says as his hands move down to my waist. —And you can touch too. —he slides both hands to my buttocks. —Squeeze. —he squeezes as I moan with desire against his lips. —And in case that doesn't satisfy you enough. —he begins to walk with me into the bathroom. —You can bite it and leave your mark on me.

—Would you like to leave your mark on me? —I ask him now because of the turn this conversation has taken and it's getting more exciting by the minute.

—You don't know how much, but in a way you can't even imagine. —he says as my body slams against the sink counter.

—You know I'm all yours. —I confess as I swallow the knot that has formed in my throat.

I have no idea what he means by marking me as his, but I get the impression from the way he's smiling at me that I'm going to find out soon.

—Let's take a shower, today is a very important day. —he says as he pulls my body into the shower.

Nothing, he hasn't tried anything. No kissing, no touching beyond squeezing my buttocks. I watch him bathe and do the same. I can't stop my eyes from all his body and ending up on his huge erection which he has decided to ignore, I don't know why. It's the first time I've seen him ignore his most primitive instincts.

—Aren't you going to take care of that? —I ask him curiously as I watch him follow my gaze to his erection. —Do you want me to take care of it?

—Tempting, but I think I have the perfect solution for that. —and at that instant he turns the shower knob the other way turning off the hot water and the ice cold water starts pouring down on us.

—Shit! —I exclaim as I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a bathrobe.

Christian doesn't try to stop me, and I stand outside the shower watching him. He has a smile on his face as he takes an ice-cold shower.

—You're crazy! —I yell at him, but in the end I can't help but catch his smile.

—Don't you love my craziness? —I look at him with a raised eyebrow.

I love everything he does, no matter what. Starting with his perversion. Especially his perversion. And much more than that his way of looking at me and making me feel loved. Which brings us to the issue that I don't know exactly how he feels about me. He feels attraction, desire, possession. Yes, I can feel that and see it, he has shown me. He has shown me how possessive he can be with my body, and how demanding he can be as well. And the attraction between us in undeniable, as well as the desire. But love. He hasn't said those three words to me yet. And I don't want to force things. For the moment we're fine like this, I'm fine like this. He's happy, I'm happy, so, for the moment, I'm not going to insist on getting a confession of love out of him. Although it's something I should bring up with the psychologist.

So in the end I smile at him too as I give him an answer as ambiguous as his feelings for me.

—I love you more when you give me an orgasm. —Christian laughs out loud. —I go to make breakfast.

I leave the bathroom and walk to the kitchen. As I prepare breakfast I think about everything he has said this morning and his strange behavior. His excitement was more than evident, as was his desire for me. I wouldn't have minded if he took me against the wall, or in the shower. Or that he let me take care of his situation. Why didn't he take me? Why didn't he let me give him a fellatio? And why does it bother me so much that he didn't?

—Do you intend to keep stirring that up?

I look to where the voice is coming from, Christian is sitting on a stool and staring at me. He's dressed casually. Jeans, and a tight-fitting tank top.

—I don't think you need to stir anymore. —he repeats as I look down at the pan and the wooden spoon I'm stirring with.

And only then do I realize that I've ruined the scrambled eggs with bacon.

—I think I ruined breakfast. —I mutter very quietly, almost to myself, as I turn off the stove.

I feel his hands on mine, taking the pan from my hand and the wooden spoon.

—I do it, why you're not getting dressed. —he says to me as he starts looking for ingredients to prepare the ruined breakfast again.

—Okay. —I answer in a resigned voice as I leave the kitchen.

As I'm about to leave I turn back and see him concentrating on preparing something so simple that I completely screwed up by having my head somewhere else.

I walk to the bedroom and open the closet. I need to forget about what happened since I woke up. Especially what happened in the shower. Or rather, what I wanted to happen that didn't happen. I look for a piece of clothing among all the ones hanging in the closet. One that is suitable for going to the interview. I push aside the dresses one by one hoping to magically find some skinny jeans. And I find them. Very hidden at one end of the closet.

And when I have them in my hands I look at the exorbitant amount of clothes he have bought for myself, for when I stay here. I still think it's too much.

I get dressed and go out to the kitchen for breakfast. Christian is putting breakfast on the counter and smiles at me when he sees me approach.

—I see you found the jeans.

—Thank you for the clothes. —I tell him as I sit down to breakfast. —I still think it's too much.

He just shrugs as he starts eating his breakfast. And as I do the same, the question that was on my mind as soon as I woke up and saw him next to me inadvertently slips out.

—Did you sleep with me last night? —Christian abruptly stops eating breakfast and turns to me.

—I think it was pretty obvious that I did.

—But you told me you didn't sleep with anyone? In fact, with me you never have.

—I know, I know what I told you and it's all true.

—So what happened last night?

—I don't know. I don't remember falling asleep.

—You didn't have any nightmares?

—I don't always have them, only sporadically. —he stares at me. —Why so many questions so early in the morning?

—Because it was strange to wake up and you were by my side, since you were never there when I woke up. —this last I say it too quietly for me.

—Ah, that's why. —he turns to me and takes my hands in his. —It was something new for me too.

—Will it happen again? Will you sleep next to me again?

—Today is the psychologist's appointment, isn't it? —I nod as he releases my hands after kissing them. —This is something I'll have to discuss with him. It could be that after the hot and exhausted night, I didn't know anything and slept like a log, I don't know. A specialist should have a better opinion of what's going on in my brain. —he tells me as he dives into his breakfast.

That's just what I was thinking, a specialist can figure it out better.

—But I'm not going to risk it again. —I turn to him, but when he speaks he doesn't look me in the eyes. —Just one mistake would be enough to make me regret it for the rest of my life.

I don't know what he means by that, but his silence tells me I'd better not probe any further.

—Ready to go? —he asks as he starts to pack up after finishing breakfast.

—I'll get my purse. —I answer as I get up from the bar stool.

—I'll wait for you in the living room, don't be late. —he says, finishing loading the dishwasher.

I don't know where the time has gone while I was having breakfast. We haven't talked much and my breakfast was quickly finished as was his. I head towards his room and grab my purse and cell phone, I think I'm ready. As I'm walking down the hallway towards the living room, something catches my eye. The door to the guest room, it's ajar. I approach it and look down the hall again before I finish opening it and enter the room.

And then I get a big surprise. The bed is completely disarranged, as if someone had slept there. And then reality hits me. Christian lied to me. And the euphoria I felt about waking up next to him literally evaporates as if it had never existed.