Ok...
So I apologize for disappearing for so long. My life has been rocky lately and it has been littered with bad news.
I have no issue stating it here for everyone and I know it really isn't anyone's business but it's something that has
been hurting me mentally.
At my 14 week ultrasound I found out I was having a little boy and it was rather exciting. I wanted a boy since I had
1 boy and 2 girls. 1 stepson and 1 stepdaughter. I had suffered through a ton of morning sickness and it was rough with
me working too.
I found out there was a mass in my placenta and they weren't sure what it was. My worse case scenario was a blood clot and if
it were to rupture it would've been bad. I also had a bad gene that had a 25% chance of causing leukemia for my baby and if my husband
has it, it makes things worse.
I apparently have diabetes too but that hasnt been too hard to deal with so I'm ok there. I walk a lot at work so that helps with my
sugars (somewhat dangerous too) and because of the amount of stress in my life has caused me hypertension on top of that. Both of these
conditions can cause the blood clot.
I have cried an awful lot and I had been severely depressed not knowing if I would even be able to carry my baby to term. I had been married
6 years with my husband and didn't think we could have kids because he had cancer. It was a little sad but I dealt with it because at least he was
alive and I love him very much.
Some what good news came my way. The thing in my placenta is a very small fibroid and it causes no issues for my baby!
But...
his artery to his left kidney had collapsed and he may only have one kidney. My husband was super upset but he can live with one kidney
a lot of people do. Since it was more than sure he's going to be ok, I bought all the baby stuff I needed for him.
I kept a lot of this quiet because it was devastating for me and I didn't wanna talk about it.
I'll be 24 weeks on friday and i have 14 weeks to go! Hopefully I make it that far for his sake.
I just wanted to inform everyone I haven't given up or anything on this story. I just needed time to mourn, hate and accept everything going on.
It hasn't been easy for me. I do feel a lot better now and i hope to jump back into writing soon.