A Second Chance

by WDGHK

Inexplicably, Lynn and Lincoln wake up several months back into the past with memories of a less than desirable future, including the faithful event that broke their family apart. With the aid of a very snarky ally, the two siblings must seize this unlikely opportunity to fix what once went wrong. Hijinks, misadventures and the odd life-and-death situation ensue...

48. Candy Stripers: A Grandfather's Wisdom

Can't believe it's been three full months of no updates. Time just flies by these days. But I cannot force myself to write in order to meet some vague update schedule, otherwise the story will suffer, and it's already gotten pretty dense and elaborate as it is. But once the drive to write finally returned, I've been writing feverishly to make up for lost time. And indeed, this chapter will be the conclusion to the "Candy Stripers" arc and suffice to say, some important events are due to transpire.

And did I say it will be up in a week? Sykes! When I say "making up for lost time", I mean it. Been up all night working on this. You're welcome.

---

One babysitter in special care, one sister with her arm in a sling, one toddler they almost got eaten and a mother and father on the way that were guaranteed to be royally pissed off upon learning about the former two. And working under your enemy, whose motivations were vague and confusing. He was finding it increasingly more difficult to keep track of everything he should be upset about. Lincoln could have thought of better circumstances under which to visit their grandfather, especially after most of them had snubbed him the last time they were supposed to visit.

Hell, forget all the above. Just the fact that their parents were one disaster away from having a divorce would make visiting your grandparents extremely uncomfortable either way. Was old Pop-Pop even aware of how bad things were back home, Lincoln began to wonder? Given how his mother had decided to visit him on the fly after having a fight with their father. Was she venting out her frustration to him? Now that he considered it, it seemed like a distinct possibility. Who else could Rita trust more with her personal issues than her own father? If that was the case, what were their grandfather's thoughts on the matter?

"Lincoln, did you hear that?" Lucy's voice jolted him out of his thoughts. They were sitting together on the bus, with Ryan and Lynn leaning over them on the seat.

"Huh?" he snapped his head to the goth, realizing he had been looking away from her.

"You were caught up in your thoughts again. Why?" Lucy asked.

"Just thinking about something…" Lincoln sighed.

"Don't tell me you're moping over Padme?" Ryan huffed.

Lincoln saw that he had been staring into the direction of the Iranian girl, who was seated opposite of them. She was sitting alone, likely because Parvana was deathly silent, frozen, agape and sporting a vacant look, not blinking even once. She looked like her grasp on reality had been shattered, probably because it had been.

"Gee, considering I was somewhat complicit in giving her a mental breakdown, yeah. Pardon me for feeling just a tincy bit guilty." Lincoln said sardonically while making the corresponding hand gesture. It really was getting impossible to keep track of every upsetting thing that happened today.

"I do feel kind of bad for her." Lucy admitted. At least Parvana seemed nice, and Lucy knew plenty of kids who she wouldn't mind seeing in her place.

"She'll recover…eventually." Ryan shrugged it off. "Just like those kooks who claim to have seen U. or Santa Claus. I didn't go mental from witnessing all of Lizzie's crazy science stuff, now did I?"

"But you weren't left with a thousand unanswered questions." Lincoln glared at him.

As usual, Ryan didn't take him seriously. "Who says that? I've got lots of questions. Which Loud passed the Einstein gene to Lizzie anyway?"

Lynn intervened. "Forget her, Linc. Didn't you hear what Ryan suggested? That oughta cheer you up."

"How to eliminate One Eye." Lucy added, making Lincoln's eyes widen.

"How to what now?" he looked at the other boy incredulously, who nodded with a smug smile.

Lincoln narrowed his eyes. "I thought you said just twenty minutes ago that doing anything about him would land us in more trouble than we could handle?"

"If we tell others about him, yes." Ryan wiggled his finger. "But perhaps there's a different way of doing our civic duty. Didn't you say Lizzie's fun-sized teleporter was functioning properly? Without any side-effects?"

"Yes? I mean…what are you getting at?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm just saying, what if, hypothetically speaking, since we know where that cur lives and all, we sent him a gift to his cave, as a token to finally burry our feud." Ryan smirked. "Like say, a poisoned ham? Or maybe a turkey? Stuffed with rat poison? And chocolate! Chocolate is fatal to dogs, y'know?"

"You want to off him?" Lincoln barely kept his voice down. He was shocked by how blunt Ryan was.

"Why not? He tried to off us three times now. Four if you count the original timeline." Lynn frowned with contempt. "He set up the ground rules, and I say it's about time we level the playing fields."

"Yup, he may have fangs, claws, muscle and bone-crushing jaws, but we have our highly-advanced nuddles." Ryan tapped his head. "And besides, toxins are safer than trying to aim a riffle."

Lincoln's response was something of a surprise to them. His face turned serious. "I'm not against putting him down, but…"

"You're getting bold." Ryan smiled. "I approve that."

"But using Lisa's inventions for it? That's the part I have issues with. You do know there's a dozen ways that could go wrong?" Upon hearing that, his sisters frowned with uncertainty.

Even Ryan wasn't blind to reason. "Fair point, but if you want to cut off that loose end, I don't see any other way to do it. Just saying?"

"Lisa is a scientist, perhaps if we convinced her to use that device in a controlled environment?" Lucy suggested.

The idea was tempting. And Lincoln would have loved to remove their lupine problem from the equation. It sounded crazy enough that it might just work. Keyword being "crazy".

"Linc, I'm not crazy about actually going through with this either." Lynn reasoned, stopping just shy of admitting to her younger siblings how terrified she was of One Eye. "But…"

"Can we put a pin on that." Lincoln tried to change the topic. "We have more pressing issues to deal with, like explaining to mom and dad about the mess we made. They're on their way as we speak."

Ryan's face fell a bit, being reminded of his sister. He still hadn't heard anything about her. Maybe it was high time he called the hospital? Not like he cared about her, he told himself, but he didn't hate her enough to wish death upon her. Surely that wasn't the case?

"You said the best we can do is finish this job and pay for Renee's hospital bills." Lucy reminded her brother. "They won't take kindly to those new either way."

"Always the optimist, ain't you?" Lynn snorted at her.

"I'm not hearing any helpful suggestions from you." The goth shot back.

"Do you think Pop-Pop knows?" Lincoln's voice diverted their attention to him. "About mom and dad's….eh…marital issues?"

Lynn swallowed a lump. If they had been unwittingly driving their parents crazy for years, did they do the same to their grandpa? She doubted he had no idea what was going on at home. Adults usually hid their worst grievances and concerns.

"Who are you talking about?" Ryan asked.

"Our grandpa, from mom's side." Lynn explained. "I've told you about him."

Ryan blinked without any recognition, making Lynn roll her eyes. "Never mind, you'll meet him anyhow. He lives at Sunset Canyon. He's a pretty cool guy."

Ryan looked unamused. "You mean an old dude with dementia? Doesn't exactly fit my idea of "cool"."

"He's not senile." Lynn insisted adamantly. "Sure, his eyes aren't the best, neither is his hearing, and he…"

"Spaces out a lot. So yeah, totally senile." Lucy added, earning annoyed looks from Lynn and Lincoln. "What? I'm just being truthful with Ryan?"

Ryan could believe that. He doubted any senior citizen had to stay at a nursing home unless their minds had gone bye-bye. Not when they had their kids, grandkids and in-laws to guilt-trip into tending to their every need. Or maybe he just feigned his dementia to escape from his chaotic family?

"Hey, not shaming the old geezer for feeling his age…" he spoke, as usual not too tactfully "…but what's so cool about him? Does he take you on crazy and awsome adventures?"

Ryan paused and slapped his forehead. "Oh, wait? I'm thinking granduncles. Silly me. What do grandparents do again? Tell you longwinded stories from their youth? Play bingo? Force you into playing shuffleboard."

His face paled. "Shit….we won't have to play shuffleboard? Will we?"

"You're talking like the concept of a grandparent is foreign to you?" Lincoln inquired.

"I guess, I don't have any." Ryan admitted. The siblings turned silent upon hearing that. Taking that as a cue to elaborate, Ryan did just that.

"Yeah, mom hasn't been on speaking terms with her folks since college, seems they don't feel highly of careerwomen. And dad…well…his folks decided to take a trip to the Okavango for their 24th anniversary. Their dust cropper crashed. What are the odds?" Ryan shrugged.

The others didn't know what to say to that. Lincoln cleared his throat.

"Anyway, I'm curious to know what Pop-Pop knows? I have a hunch mom's been venting her grievances to him, and she did visit him this week after her and dad their…misunderstanding."

"You think he knows?" Lynn asked worriedly. She knew it was essentially a rhetorical question.

"Why wouldn't he? Grownups usually try to act like nothing's bothering them."

"Does that mean we have to convince him too that mom and dad shouldn't cut ties?" Lucy asked.

"Hello? What kind of a question is that?" Lynn groaned. "Of course we do."

"And what if he knows?" Ryan asked. "What help would he be?"

"Newsflash?" Lynn lightly smacked him on the head. "He's mom's father. If he thinks that she shouldn't make any rash decisions, she'll consider it."

"Perhaps enough to further encourage her that she and dad can work things out. Every bit of good will matters." Lincoln explained. "We already made some progress."

"Until Lola ruined it in one foul swoop." Lucy remined them, irking the jock.

"Yeah, yeah, but Pop-Pop might be able to help us." Lynn retorted.

"Why would he? For all we know, he can't stand Mr. L and thinks your mom could do better." Ryan said idly.

"What? Why would he think that?" Lynn gave him an annoyed look.

"Well, isn't it the norm for old guys to despise their son-in-law and wish their little girl had married someone better?" Ryan shrugged. That's what watching sitcoms taught him.

"Blood relatives seldom get along either…" Lucy said under her breath.

"He's not like that. I never heard him say one bad word about dad." Lincoln insisted. At least he hoped that was true. They had missed plenty of hints with their mom for years.

"But I guess you have a point…" Lincoln reluctantly admitted. "Better make sure Pop-Pop is on-board with us."

"And let's hope if we convince him he won't blank on it in an hour." Ryan quipped, only to get more annoyed looks. "Tough audience…" he muttered.

The bus suddenly halted, nearly making Ryan topple over the seat. All the siblings looked out the window and saw a small billboard saying "Sunset Canyon Retirement Home". Next to it was a simple pathway leading to a familiar building flanked by a small patch of trees.

"We're here." Kathleen got up from her seat, which was right next to the driver. "Time to brighten the day…or shall I say the late afternoon bordering on evening of the bygone generation."

"I'm ready!" Lola, who had been sitting with her, jumped to her feet, still pumped with pride from Kathleen's earlier praise. "Old people can't resist my youthful charisma…" she frowned and rubbed her cheek "…or pinching my perky cheeks."

"Yeah right! They do that to shut you up!" Lana shouted from the other side of the bus before crossing her arms. "Lousy, dirty cheater…"

Lisa was sitting with her. "I have no intention of imposing on your quarrel with your twin…but can I advise you to refrain from touching, sniffing, let alone tasting anything at grandfather's nursing home unless it's sanitized food on the table? We can't afford another flu outbreak at home."

"What flue outbreak?" the tomboy blinked.

"Now, before we got to work." Kathleen turned to the others. "If any of you have family residing here, don't be ashamed to speak up. We won't divulge any embarrassing secrets your grandparents might reveal about you and I'll gladly appoint you to help out your family personally. Now speak up? Anyone?"

Conveniently, no one did. The Loud siblings realized they were the only ones who did have family here. Much to Lynn, Lincoln and Lucy's discomfort, Kathleen's gaze fell on them and became glued to them. They had a collective feeling that she knew.

Lola drew a breath to speak but Kathleen sent a silencing finger her way. "No one. Alright then, assemble in front of the entrance, some of the caretakers will be there to guide you in. I'll be with you in a moment, I would just like a private moment with our new recruits."

"Swell…" Lynn grumbled, as the others exited the bus.

"Amber, go fetch the little fuzzballs from the storage compartments before they start freaking out." Kathleen instructed her blonde friend, who nodded obediently.

"And Jenny…" she turned to the black girl and gestured at the stunned Parvana "….go and…eh…escort Parvana." Jenny nodded and led the dead-eyed girl out of the bus.

"And give her an aspirin or something…" Kathleen whispered into Jenny's ear with some annoyance. Jenny nodded again and the two left.

Once she was sure they were alone, Kathleen approached the remaining passengers.

"Kathleen." Lola spoke up. "I wanted to-"

"I know, Lols." Kathleen nodded before looking at the others. "Surprised you didn't raise your hands?"

Lincoln let out a small laugh and shrugged. "Eh…we were nervous?"

"Understandable." Kathleen waved her hand. "But I understand one of the residents here, a certain Albert Winfield is your maternal grandpa."

The Loud siblings all widened their eyes at the very specific information.

"Yeesh, Kathy. Stalker much?" Ryan snorted.

"I can assure you it's no such thing." Kathleen smiled. "I merely met him before when I started this group. Very nice man, and he talked about his grandkids a lot."

"He sure is." Lana smiled.

Kathleen elaborated. "I did not mean to be intrusive, but you've got to admit that there are few families than can fit the bill of "nine granddaughters and one grandson"?"

Lynn narrowed her eyes with suspicion, but Lincoln did not wish to complicate things. "Fair point. It wouldn't be hard to figure it out." He said evenly before fiddling with his fingers. "Now, if you don't mind me asking…"

"You want to be your grandfather's caretakers?" Kathleen answered. "Hmmm…that would depend on how many volunteers we have to cover every resident. I mean unless your sisters…"

"Lana and Lisa already paid him a visit." Lynn answered quickly, to twist things in her brother's favor. "And I'm pretty sure Lola isn't itching to-"

Lola gasped. "How dare you! I'll have you know that-"

"You didn't care to visit Pop-Pop last time." Lana snorted.

"Oh, Lola will be accompanying me. I'll explain to you why later, Lols." Kathleen patted the little blonde's fuming head. "Now, Lincoln? What do your other sisters-"

"Me and Lucy are cool with Lincoln taking the job." Lynn shrugged nonchalantly.

"Eh…yes, Lincoln hasn't seen him in a while." Lucy agreed. She wasn't crazy about seeing her grandfather anyway. Like anyone else in her family, he tended to overlook her.

"The I guess it's settled." Kathleen shrugged. "And fortunately for the rest of you, I think we have brought too many volunteers as it is, so I'm sure you'll be able to squeeze in some more quality time with your grandpa."

"But speaking of him?" Kathleen looked at her watch. "He's not getting any younger, so let's not keep him waiting. This will be one big surprise for him, I'm sure."

"Don't put words in his mouth…" Lynn grumbled as she got up and nudged Lana. "Come on, Lana."

The others got up too, walking past Kathleen, Lincoln once again caught up in his thoughts, Lucy glancing at Kathleen warily, while Lola was fuming behind her twin's back before noticing that Kathleen wasn't moving.

"Kathleen, you coming?"

"Just a sec." Kathleen grabbed Ryan by the shoulder, making him stop. "Ryan, a word please?"

"With me?" he looked at her oddly. Lynn, Lincoln and Lucy stopped after hearing that.

"It's nothing serious, I just need to talk." Kathleen assured him, gesturing for the others to go. The others did so, Lola and Lynn doing so reluctantly, but Ryan gave the latter a nod.

He still mentally prepared himself to strike the queen bee down should she try anything. He shook his shoulder free and dusted it. "Um…yeah? What's the problem, boss."

"Oh, I have no issues with you. You were extraordinary as the storyteller. I've never seen those kids that excited during story time."

Ryan squinted. "What? You stopped me just to praise me?" That felt sick and wrong coming from Kathleen Tisdale.

"Actually, it' something else."

"Don't tell me that nosy April O'Neil-wannabe will be there?" Ryan felt his blood boil thinking about that reporter.

"Heaven's no." Kathleen covered her mouth. "This is a nursing home, filled with people in their twilight years and with decaying health. Mulligan is like way too intense to be allowed to step foot there. It's actually about your sister."

Ryan's eyes widened a bit. "Renee? What about her?" he asked, a bit more urgently than he intended.

"Well, the good news is, I sent all of your collective paychecks to the hospital. Consider your bills covered." Kathleen smiled again.

"And what's the bad news?" Ryan asked dourly. "She's not crippled for life, right?"

"Haven't seen her medical report, but I'm pretty sure she isn't." Kathleen told him. "Considering she beat down a few paramedics, her nurse and a doctor and escaped through the second-story window before disappearing without a trace."

Ryan's face fell. "She…." He paused before groaning and looking away, dragging his palm across his face. "Of course she did…"

"You don't seem very surprised?" Kathleen raised an eyebrow. "I frankly am, considering she did it with a neck brace and leg cast, while needing a crutch to move."

"Of course those things wouldn't hinder her." Ryan shot her a disdainful look. "She's a Taylor, a little pain won't hinder us. Shit, why didn't I think about that?" he started cursing yo himself.

"Okay then, it would seem her miraculous escape wasn't so out of the ordinary." Kathleen shrugged. "But I do have a question for you. This won't inconvenience us?"

"Inconvenience us?"

"I assume she broke out to hunt down you and the Louds." Kathleen said casually while looking over her fingernails. "She is your babysitter and she seems to be taking her job extremely seriously, no?"

Ryan wanted to give a snarky comeback but knew she was right on the money and it actually worried him. He avoided eye contact while saying through his teeth. "It's…it's a possibility."

"Yes, and it would be terrible if she came here and caused an uproar, right? Need I remind you, we're running a major charity event here, and these elderly folk can't take that kind of intensity, and Renee would be considered your responsibility. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure your sister is currently guilty of a few charges of assault and battery?"

Ryan got goosebumps. He did not like where this was going.

---

Fortunately, or not, their group had been overpacked, as there weren't that many residents to take care of. Some of the volunteers went to help in the kitchen, others decided to call it a day and Amber and Jenny didn't impose on any of them to stay, saying Kathleen wouldn't mind. The Louds didn't have that option.

Lana didn't care, as the resident handyman/plumber had caught a cold and she was appointed as his replacement, for today, while Lucy and Lisa were each assigned an elder to take care of, but nobody heard anything from Lola after she set foot in the building.

After talking to the receptionist, who was too busy reading a magazine and just pointed her thumb in the direction of the medical room, Lincoln and Lynn went searching for their grandfather. Why was he in the medical room?

Lynn and Lincoln entered it. "Pop-Pop?" the girl asked when both of them spotted him lying on the hospital bed. Motionless. And next to a heart monitor. Which showed a flatline.

"Pop-Pop!" they both freaked.

"Wuth…ugh…" Albert got up groggily, wiped the drool from his mouth and yawned. "I didn't miss the shuffleboard tournament?"

Shaken, the kids looked back at the monitor and saw that it wasn't plugged to their grandpa, or to anything for that matter, as the plug itself was just visibly lying on the floor and snagging dust bunnies. The siblings sighed with relief.

"False alarm…" Lincoln said as he and his sister approached the bulky senior, who was trying to adjust his crusty, glazed eyes.

"Hey, Pop-Pop?" Lynn waved awkwardly.

"Been a while." Lincoln added.

"Lincoln? L.J?" The old man let out a hardy laugh and his massive arms wrapped around the kids, pulling them into a bone-crushing hug. Lynn and Lincoln winced in pain but tried to smile.

"We're happy to see you too." Lynn said in a strained voice.

"It is you two? Right?" Albert squinted.

"You're not wearing your contact lenses, are you?" Lincoln deduced.

"No, siree." Albert replied. "I don't trust those newfangled contraptions, and they make my eyes hurt."

"What about glasses?" Lynn asked.

"Glasses?" Albert laughed. "Don't be silly! Glasses are for old people."

"Besides…" he put them down and cupped his right ear "….who needs eyes, when I can always trust my ears?"

He poked it before turning his other ear towards them. "Well. My left one anyway."

Lincoln noticed a patch covering his anchor tattoo. "Say? Why were you called here?"

"Oh, just doing my monthly blood test." Albert explained and tore off the patch. "Can't stand them, but it's protocol. Not like I mind the little pinch…"

"Which is why Olga and Hildegard spent all afternoon trying to manhandle you into this room." A heavyset nurse walked by with a clipboard, talking in a snide tone.

"So what are the results, Su? Anything wrong?" Albert asked casually.

"You don't want to know." She replied and walked away.

"Medics? Always have to be killjoys." Albert shrugged. "But needles though? Yikes. They give bring back nasty memories. In my times, vaccines might as well have been javelins."

He turned to Lynn and Lincoln. "Anyway, what took you kids so long? Rita said only Lana, Lisa, Luna and Luan could come, but I knew she was just pulling my leg? Where did you mom go off to anyway?"

The siblings looked at each other. Was he talking about Rita's last visit?

"Pop-Pop? That was days ago, remember?" Lynn explained.

"Yeah, and mom and dad are out of town at the moment, so is Lori." Lincoln added.

Albert blinked, but then bumped his palm against his head. "Oh, right? Sometimes I lose track of time."

"You're not mad we flaked on you?" Lynn asked.

"Nah…if memory serves, Rita said both of you were busy. That you helped your dad with chores and that Lincoln helped a new friend. Or was it the other way around?" Albert scratched his head. "Anyway. Rita's out of town you say? What for?"

"Eh.." the two looked at each other again.

"Lori went to meet her boyfriend's extended family, something about a quinceanera so Lori can assimilate herself with the Santiagos." Lynn told him. "Don't ask me, the only Mexican culture I know is lucha libre and Taco Bell."

"And mom and dad needed to be there with her." Lincoln added. "I think it's also part of that tradition."

Albert whistled. "Damn, that girl never knew how to take her sweet time." But then he elbowed Lynn. Actually, it was the heart monitor, his old ears did not pick up the loud clanging.

"Then again, if she gets hitched, one of your girls won't have to envy Lincoln for having his own room anymore."

Lynn smiled a little. "Oh, I don't envy living in a broom closet." He brother rolled his eyes. "And we were discussing switching roommates, me and Lana already agreed that we would make a great duo."

"I see, what brough you here at this hour?" their grandpa asked, making both kids gulp. "Who escorted you here?"

"Eh…it's a bit complicated." Lincoln said.

"I'm all ears."

"Well, a lot of stuff happened, actually." Lynn began. "It's kinda hard to sum up."

Thinking about her response, Albert's face fell a bit. "Oh..oh…I know that tone. You kids' been causing some trouble, right? Need help cleaning it up?"

Lincoln and Lynn didn't know if they should have been relieved or unnerved. Albert didn't say another word and gave them a look that didn't betray anger or disappointed, but he definitely seemed a bit worried. It was very rare for any of them to be in a damp mood while visiting him, so their current demeanors popped out a lot.

"Eh…sort off. I think this would require some explaining." Lincoln started.

Albert got up. "Well, the longue is as good a place as any to talk. I just hope those bothersome teen volunteers haven't swarmed the place yet."

The siblings exchanged awkward glances and looked down at their candy stripper shirts. Might as well be upfront.

"Pop-Pop? We kinda are two of those bothersome volunteers." Lynn admitted, while blushing.

"Huh?" Albert couldn't believe his ears. He felt around on the nearby table and found Susan's glasses. He wouldn't put them on but he did look through them. What he saw was a surprise. He though vertically-striped caretaker shirts went out of fashion back when his father was submitted to a nursing home.

"You joined those walking lollypops? What happened?" Much to Albert's dismay, seeing his grandkids being part of a public service group immediately brought up some worrying thoughts. Like community service.

"Trust me. We didn't do this willingly. It's a long story." Lincoln said bashfully. That didn't really ease his grandfather's worries.

"What happened? I mean, I know you get involved in all sorts of shenanigans but did you….get in trouble with the cops?" The way he said it, it sounded like he had been expecting it to happen, eventually.

The door shot open, causing Albert to drop the glasses. "Shoot." He grumbled. "Susan's gonna be ticked."

"Guys, we have a big problem." Ryan entered nervously.

His demeanor was enough to give the siblings chills. Seeing him lose his cool was never a good thing. Ryan noticed the old man.

"Oh, you must their grandpa?" he said idly. Suffice to say, Grandpa Loud wasn't what he had imagined him to be. He didn't expect "Pop-Pop" to be this….swole?

"Oh for crying out…" Albert clutched his head. "I told you kids I don't need any help. I can walk myself to my room, I can chew my food and I don't need a scrub-"

"No, no, grandpa. He's not one of them." Lynn stepped in. "This is my friend Ryan, he's helping us out."

"Oh? Sorry for the misunderstanding, kiddo." Albert chuckled and extended his hand. "Name's Albert, you can call me Al if you want to."

After getting nudged by Lynn, Ryan shook his hand. Sure enough, his meaty hand had quite a crushing grip.

The boy winced. "Eh…Ryan Taylor, nice to meet you. Lynn told me about you." He sent the girl a snide look. "On our way here that is, otherwise she just talked about sports ad nauseam."

Lynn glared and grunted in annoyance, but Albert roared with laughter and let his hand go. "Yes, that sure sounds like Little Lynn."

The jock cringed at the nickname. It was Albert's way of distinguishing her from the other Lynn Loud. Ryan wasn't the only one who considered the jock's name impractical within her own family.

"And before you ask, no hard feelings."

"Hard feelings?" Ryan asked.

"I know L.J ditched me to spend time with you, but I don't take it personally. Kids gotta have fun."

"Okay then…" Ryan shrugged before whispering to Lynn. "He hasn't freaked out yet from the sight of me. Yup, his eyes defiantly aren't up to snub."

"Shut up…." Lynn grumbled, also not liking the way Albert said "Kids gotta have fun". Her mom did promise to uphold their mother-daughter confidential, right?

"You're a big guy, Al?" Ryan noted. "Were you a heavyweight boxer at some point, or a sailor?" he asked, noticing the tattoo.

"Just those two?" Albert laughed. "Boy, do I have stories to tell you."

"The stories can wait." Lincoln cut in. "We really need to talk to you."

Albert's happy demeanor faltered and he nodded.

"But first…" Lincoln approached Ryan. "What's this problem that you're talking about that has you all worked up, even-though-you-don't-usually-show-nervousness-and-I-really-hope-that's-not-an-indicator-that-something-really-bad-is-about-to-happen?"

Ryan smiled for a moment before dropping it. Completely. "Yeah… Renee broke out of the hospital and is hunting us down."

"What?!"

---

Meanwhile, other volunteers didn't get paired up with such nice elderly folk. Lisa's wasn't too bad, but a certain goth's bad luck prevailed.

"Not this cankerous old harpy…" Lucy muttered, sitting on a chair in the longue, opposite of an old woman wearing a torques hat with a flower, along with sunglasses, who had nodded off a long time ago.

"Don't be shy, Lucy." Jenny gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "Old Emilia Scooters doesn't have many friends here, she could really use some positive social interaction."

"I wonder why." Lucy thought sarcastically, noticing Jenny's disingenuous tone. The old woman was still snoring. After a few awkward seconds of silence, Jenny warily shook her by the shoulder.

"Um…Ms. Scooters? Please wake up…"

"Ah! Where am I!" she flailed around, making Jenny jerk back. "Are the Yankees attackin'?!"

A short, portly black man with glasses, carrying a shuffleboard stick, walked by and shook his head. "For Pete's sake, Scoots!" he said irritably. "You were NOT in the Civil War!"

"Back off, Seymour!" Scoots shook her fist. "I don't fraternize with the enemy! Either get me some cotton for my pillow or beat it!"

"Uhhhhhh…!" Seymour stormed off, cursing under his breath. Jenny nervously patted Lucy's back. "Good luck, kid. See ya!"

Like that, she was gone, before Scoots noticed Lucy sitting in front of her.

"You! You're my slave today, right?" she asked gruffly. "Spit it out, ya little ninny! I don't have all day!"

"I'm your caretaker for today, yes." Lucy tried to remain civil. She couldn't stand this abrasive hag. She was pretty certain this was what Lynn would be like in her senior years, if she lived that long. You never knew when the Grim Reaper came knocking.

Scoots lifted her sunglasses and squinted. "Say, you're one of Al's girls, ain't ya? I can't remember your name cuz I didn't care to."

"Yes, I am." Lucy sighed. "Name's Lucy. Me and my siblings are part of the volunteers."

"Beautiful, just beautiful." Scoots was already displeased. "Of all ya girls, I get saddled with the borin', quiet little sadsack! Where's Lynn, or the comedian?!"

"Sigh….Lynn is tending to Albert and Luan couldn't come."

Scoots groaned before getting up on her wobbly legs, using her cane for support, her back creaking like an old floorboard.

"Whatever, I'll make do with what I have. Even a runt like ya can do somethin' as simple as massage my bunions and remove the warts off my back."

Lucy looked horrified as Scoots staggered passed her. "And if I have any accidents, you're dumpin' my diaper."

Scoots sat on her scooter and its engines started running. "What are ya waitin' for! Chinese New Year!" She yelled and hit Lucy with her cane.

"Ow!" the goth cried, rubbing her sore arm.

"Quit bellyachin' and use those twig legs of yours! Ya need to help me find a very big ear pick!"

Lucy grumbled and got up. "Yes, as you wish."

The old woman slowly started moving on her scooter. "And keep an eye out for that midget coon! I know he's plannin' an uprisin'. That shuffleboard stick of his is probably a disguised riffle!"

"Should I bring your medications too?" Lucy asked sardonically, as they left the lounge, which was next to the bingo room. "Don't want to risk your health."

For those playing bingo, Parvana was tasked with being the caller. In front of her sat various old men and a few women at different tables. Most were falling asleep or just sitting there, blinking and drooling.

"B-47?" Parvana drawled, barely focusing on her task, and not simply out of boredom. She wasn't sure if she was even reading the numbers right, because she was no longer sure what was even real and what was not.

"BONKO!" she heard someone shout.

"It's "bingo", you old coot!" the guy next to him yelled.

"Hands off me, woman!" the first one slapped him away.

Parvana groaned, right now feeling just as tired, disoriented and scatterbrained as the seniors playing bingo. She noticed Lincoln, Lynn and Ryan arrive in the nearby lounge, sitting together with one of the residents. Once she saw them, she couldn't look away. Who were they? What were they doing? How were they doing it?

She suddenly heard someone clearing their throat in warning, and saw Kathleen pass by her. She reluctantly continued her job. She still needed money for a replacement vase.

"Ugh….eh…..A-29?" she drawled.

"It's a shame I have to miss out Bingo Night." Albert glanced back fondly at the event from his armchair. "It's always fun seeing Tim and Ernie squabble."

The kids weren't listening though. "Are you absolutely sure that's what she said?" Lincoln asked Ryan, who was leaning on the couch the siblings were sitting on.

"Unless she was trolling me, yes." Ryan confirmed. "Though knowing Renee, I'd be hard-pressed to think she didn't bust her way out the moment she regained consciousness."

"And you're saying if she comes here and starts a riot, Kathleen will pin the blame on us?"

"Yes, Lynn. Who else would she blame? This little inconvenience plays right into her money-grubbing hands."

"What did you tell her?" Lynn inquired. "You didn't strike some kind of deal?"

"As if!" Ryan laughed humorlessly. "I'd rather take my chances than make a deal with the pom-pom wielding devil. I just told her I would handle my sister."

Albert looked on confused. He was obviously out of the loop. "Um, excuse me?" he spoke up. "Who is this Renee you're talking about? Some French exchange student you're playing host to?"

"I wish…" Ryan groaned. "She's my sister. I…eh…convinced her to play babysitter to the Louds, since their parents needed one on the fly."

"Babysitter? For all nine of you?" Albert gave them an odd look.

"Pop-Pop, let's be real?" Lincoln said. "Not like they could have trusted Leni to be head of the household."

"You got me there." Albert admitted. "She never was the sharpest tool, or the most assertive one."

"Where is she anyway? I didn't see her, Luna or Luan anywhere?"

Lincoln and Lynn widened their eyes. Luna and Leni? They were still locked in the bunker? Since last night?

Ryan remembered too, but he hardly gave a crap about that. Better keep those two safe than have the rest of them be sorry later.

"They…they were grounded by Renee….. in the bunker. Luan though? She's in her room sulking, yesterday was kind of a stressful day for her." Lincoln tried to explain. Well, stressful was putting it lightly.

"You mean Lisa's safety bunker?" Albert cocked an eyebrow, recalling that peculiar tidbit about his daughter's home. "Wow, that babysitter of yours…..she really means business? What did they do?"

"You have no idea." Ryan snarked. "And those two? They tried to run away to a rock n roll concert, and Renee loathes rock n roll."

"I can relate." Albert chuckled. "Always preferred the classics, like country music."

"But that's small fry compared to what happened the today." Lynn decided to cut to the chase. "Lola accidentally, I think, pushed Renee out of a second-story window and now she's in the hospital."

Albert had to pause. He had seen his grandkids do some crazy shit, but this….it managed to make his jaw drop.

"Great job easing the older timer into it." Ryan snarked at Lynn, earning him a nasty glare.

"But the good news is, she's very much alive." Ryan quickly added. "And she was apparently good enough to….. be allowed to leave a few hours later."

Lincoln pulled on his collar nervously. "Bad news, she's majorly ticked and we are working here to earn enough money to cover her humongous hospital bills."

Albert had to use his hand to close his mouth. "I….I…I knew you must be in hot water, but….putting someone in the hospital?" he paused and thought for a moment. "Well…I don't think that's the first time you've done that….. but never by pushing someone out of a second-story window."

"You're taking this surprisingly well, all things considered?" Ryan noticed. "I bet five bucks you were at least going to faint."

"You don't seem to be too shaken by it either?" Albert noted. "Considering this is your sister you're talking about?"

"They don't have a good relationship." Lynn explained. "Kinda like you and Aunt Ruth."

And just like that, Albert understood Ryan. "Ah…say no more." He leaned back into his chair before adopting a serious face.

"But this? Kids, I'm afraid there's no helping you here. You can't just walk away from something like this with a slap on the wrist. Your parents are going to be very upset, I don't think I need to explain that to you?"

Albert didn't like encouraging his grandkids to be snitches, but he did consider telling them to try to come to an agreement and all point their fingers at Lola, if she really was the one responsible. No reason to have all of them be punished for her doings. Albert would never say it out loud, but Lola was never one of his favorites.

"We know, but that's not really the reason we wanted to talk to you." Lincoln explained. "I'm afraid there's something else at stake, something much worse."

"Something…. worse?" Albert didn't like the sound of that. Just what did these cooky kids get themselves into?

"There you are, I've been looking for you." They all cringed, including Albert, as Kathleen appeared and placed her hand on Ryan's shoulder.

"Oh, hello there, Mr. Winfield?" Kathleen greeted the senior. "I hope you like the renovated lounge I paid for?"

"Oh, it's real swell." Albert tried to smile and gave her a thumbs up. "These new chairs are real comfy."

"I'm very happy you're satisfied, but I'm afraid I need to borrow Ryan."

"Borrow me?" Ryan grimaced. "For what? I thought we had too many volunteers?"

"Yes, but many of them left and we now need someone to oversee the shuffleboard tournament. You see, the guy who volunteered for it, Dmitry, had a run-in with Ms. Scooters. She, for whatever reason, called him a commie and hit him in the head with her cane. Now he's being transferred to the hospital to tend to his injury."

"Third one this week? Someone oughta put a leash on that crazy woman." Albert shook his head.

"Shuffleboarding?" Ryan winced. "And you need me?"

"Yes, those old gents have issues keeping track of their own scores." Kathleen whispered to him.

Ryan thought about it. It sounded dreadful…but then again? Maybe there was an advantage to that?

"Look, Kathleen…" Lynn started "…we need him right now to-"

"Eh, no. It's alright, Lynn. I'll do it. Duty calls." Ryan shrugged.

"You're okay overseeing a shuffleboard tournament?" Lincoln raised an eyebrow.

"Sure do. After all, it's my duty to keep an eye on things…the tournament that is. Don't want any inconveniences showing up."

"Oh.." Lynn and Lincoln exchanged glances, and just nodded as he was led away.

"Don't won't to intrude on the family reunion." He added. "See ya later."

After Kathleen was gone, Albert sighed in relief. "Thanks heavens. I couldn't stand another moment with that girl."

"You don't like her?" Lincoln asked.

"Not one bit. That girl's unbearable. She never stops talking about herself and her good deeds, it's just so overbearing. I appreciate someone pinching in for some renovations at this old hut, don't get me wrong, but this is too much. I might be old but I know a publicity stunt when I see one. When someone's this sickeningly nice, they are up to something."

Lynn smiled. "Pop-Pop? You are the man."

The old man returned her smile. "I know, and I'm have a hunch you feel the same way about her?"

"More than that. She and Luan are actually arch-nemesis back at school." Lynn added. "That's why she didn't want to come. You don't want to know the ugly details."

Albert couldn't lie. His curiosity was piqued, especially since he already had a sneaking suspicion this Kathleen girl was too good to be true, but he had other worries. He might have been forgetful but he wasn't stupid.

"But what was it you wanted to talk about? That thing you said that was worse than Lola pushing your babysitter out of a window?"

Lincoln and Lynn grimaced. The boy reluctantly talked. "Mom came to visit you a few days back?"

"Yes?"

"Did she tell you anything while she was there? She came here because her and dad had an argument?"

Albert's features grew a bit more tense. "Um…yes, she mentioned that?"

"It wasn't really dad's fault, neither of them was at fault. One of us, I won't say any names, but one of us caused a standard disaster at home and mom was really upset, and dad kinda picked the worst possible time to go on a fishing trip. It made her think he ditched us."

"Ah-huh…" Albert just nodded, keenly listening to them.

"Well, did she say anything to you, anything important?" Lynn asked. "Something we should know about?"

Albert was silent. He looked reluctant to divulge any information. But both siblings noticed one thing, he didn't look surprised. He fidgeted and seemed uncomfortable, looking like he was hiding something, and both had a pretty good hunch what it was.

"I…I…" Albert fumbled and scratched his neck. His usual jovial demeanor was completely gone now.

Lynn and sighed and adopted a grim expression. "Grandpa, let's stop beating around the bush. Me and Linc….eh Lucy too, we had sort of an epi…epa…"

"An epiphany, Lynn." Lincoln sighed too.

"Yeah, that thing. We realized things back home weren't as okay as we thought." The girl continued. "Especially between mom and dad."

Albert was just silently listening to them, a bead of sweat dripping down his head. His look was the same as theirs. Neither wanted to acknowledge the ugly truth. Albert eventually deflated and rubbed his forehead in resignation, but then Lincoln said something that legitimately catch him off-guard.

"We know they've been having issues and we know it's all our fault."

---

"Boy, nothing like some outdoor sports to get the blood in your legs pumping again." Seymour said to his opponent at the shuffleboard court, just in front of their home. A overhanging lamp lit the place, as it was already dark.

"You said it. I had to swing mine back and forth for 20 minutes to get them working again." Said the stringy senior with big glasses.

Ryan groaned, standing next to a chalkboard where he would write down each player's score. At least he would if the game had started already. God, this was so insufferably slow, they spent ten minutes complimenting each other and assuring each other that this was just a friendly game.

No shit it was! Ryan doubted these old coots could muster up enough testosterone to engage in some mild trash talk, let alone feel competitive. It made him feel guilty for talking badly about Albert, that old codger actually looked like he wasn't a total bore.

"You go first, Seymour."

"No, no, Bernie. I insist. You go first."

"No, no, no. I can wait, you go first."

"Gentlemen?" Ryan walked up to them, barely containing his rage and put on a teeth-clenched smile. "We need to start this game. Your curfew will be in an hour. I don't want you to suffer from sleep-depravation."

"How very considerate of you, sonny boy." Seymour patted his arm. "You're quite right. Now, Bernie. You can go first, I insi-"

"We'll flip a coin!" Ryan started twitching and pulled out a coin from his pocket. "Heads, you go first. Tails, he goes first. End of discussion."

He flipped the coin and it landed tails. "Tails! You go first!" he jabbed his thumb in Bernie's direction. "Let's procced…" he stepped back towards the chalkboard.

Bernie clutched his stick and very slowly, started pushing a disk. Ryan wanted to explode.

"Take your time, old chum." Seymour encouraged him. "You can do it. Slow and steady wins the race, or shuffleboard game, in this case." The geezers shared a laugh, while Ryan's eyes were twitching madly and his face was contorting.

"Good grief, I really should have gone with the spergs." he lamented inwardly.

Then he heard a rustle. His head snapped in the direction and he caught a glimpse of a shadowy figure.

"Renee! Finally!" he beamed with excitement. "Oh, thank you, thank you, sis!"

"Pardon me, fellas! But I really need to take a leak." He turned to the seniors. "I'll be back in a jiffy!"

He bolted away, leaving the two confused. Ryan ran into the small patch of woodland surrounding the right side of the nursing home. Of course Renee was plotting a sneak attack!

It was already pretty dark, not helped by the dense canopy, but Ryan was familiar with making out details in low light conditions. He just wished he was dealing with a less competent opponents. Even roided-up Lyle was somehow less scary than confronting his own sister in the dark woods.

But Ryan knew their mission rested on shoulders right now. Renee was his sister and he couldn't allow her to get his companions into trouble, let alone give Kathleen ground to have them on the hook. Ryan knew extorters when he saw one, and the Kathleen Tisdale he knew was the queen of those.

Ryan surveyed his surroundings, trying to pick up any hit of movement, make out even the faintest footfall. His sister was good. He looked around, still not seeing any sign of her. But like with Lyle, a little taunting ought to help him get the upper hand?

"C'mon, sis. Enough with the Michael Myers crap, I know you're here!" he called to her. "Can't outdo a master of stealth like moi!"

Still nothing. Growing frustrated, Ryan started walking in circles, looking in all directions. "Renee! Show your mug already and face me like a-AH!"

A punch to the face sent him flying back. Ryan looked up and saw his sister limping towards him. She somehow made limping look threatening. To say she looked piss would be superfluous.

"There you are." Ryan said lightly as he stood up, ready to face her. On some level, he was actually relived to see her alive, but like Kathleen had implied, his sister looked terrible. He just hoped mom and dad would be away long enough for Renee's neck and leg to heal.

Ryan stepped back, holding his hands up. "Look, bookworm. I know this sounds crazy coming from me, but I actually want to talk things out like rationale adults."

That was all the confirmation Renee needed to know that he was playing her. And needless to say, she wasn't exactly in a sound state of mind right now, so she charged. With remarkable speed and agility for someone with a broken leg and dislocated neck, she attacked her brother, swinging her crutch at him, but Ryan expertly dodged every attack.

"Now who's being the childish one?" Ryan quipped as he dodged another swing from her crutch. "Attacking me unprovoked-AHH!" he suffered a painful hit to his chest, which made him stumble back.

"Uncalled for…" he hissed.

"AHHHH!" Renee swung her crutch again, but Ryan caught it. If she were fighting someone else, she would have had a fighting chance, but unfortunately for her, she was fighting her own flesh and blood.

This action caused her to hang on to her weapon while her brother was holding on to it, resulting in a stalemate. Her grip was still very strong, but her legs, or at least one of them, weren't so sturdy.

"You really don't want to do this." Ryan told her more seriously, trying to pry that crutch out of her grasp. "You don't know what you're doing."

"But I know what you miscreant are doing!" she finally spoke, hissing her words.

Ryan smirked. "Really? And what would that be?"

His sister didn't have a comeback. She didn't exactly have any hunch what they were up to outside of joining Kathleen's insipid volunteer group, which raised plenty of questions on its own.

That brief moment of confusion was all Ryan needed to pull her forward, making her let go of her crutch, which was tossed aside as Ryan caught his sister. She glared him right in the eye.

"Now can we talk?" Ryan asked before hissing with pain, when Renee grabbed his left ear and twisted it. Her signature move for paralyzing particularly disagreeable kids.

"Dirty move, Renny." Ryan hissed, trying to keep control of his motor functions. He could feel his muscles becoming paralyzed and a searing pain coursed through every fiber of his body. But he couldn't lose control now. Renee vicious glare intensified.

"Nice try." He hissed, trying to keep his legs planted and his grip on her solid. "It might have worked on me three years ago…but….I've mastered the art of making pain my bitch!"

Renee didn't let go. "Fine…" he snorted "…your choice." Focusing all his strength in his legs, he let go of her, causing her to plop on her belly.

Ryan didn't have any time to think about if that broke some of her broken bones further, as he sat on her, pinning her under his weight while rubbing his sore ear.

"Don't blame me, you didn't want to let go of my ear." He said casually. "Now will you listen to me already! We seriously need to talk."

"What are you doing with Kathleen's charity group?" his sister growled in an interrogatory tone.

"Finally, a valid question." Ryan clapped his hands. "The simple answer is, we are doing this to pay your hospital bills."

"What?" Renee glared over her shoulder.

"The short story is, the Louds don't want to get in trouble…well…more trouble than necessary for putting their babysitter in the hospital, and me…well I thought I owed it to you to chip in for your humongous bills."

"Chip in?" Renee snorted bitterly. "Don't tell me you're feeling guilty?"

"Pfffttt….it's not guilt…" Ryan insisted. "It's…it's courtesy, since…y'know…I was the one who suggested you take up this gig."

"You can't be serious?"

"I've never been more serious, sis." Ryan retorted. "I'm not a good guy, but even I have my limits. Plus, my girlfriend would give me the cold shoulder if I bailed on her in her time of need."

That Renee could buy. She realized she had to talk, since she was already in a compromised position.

"How exactly were you miscreants expecting to "fix" this situation?" she said snidely. "In case you haven't noticed-"

"I never said we could fix it, we were just trying to pay your bills so Mr. and Mr. L wouldn't have the additional headache of having to pay them themselves. And I know what you're concerned about. And to that I say, no. We haven't been causing any trouble, we were just tagging along with the "Teens of Tomorrow", I know, very stupid name, but point being, all we've been doing all day was volunteer work, first by helping out at the children's hospital and now with the elderly folk. No shenanigans, the house is fine, we didn't break any pricey objects, no Lyle, Blondy and Moon Girl are still in the bunker, everything is A-okay…mostly…."

Renee rolled her eyes and tapped her fingers. If somehow, by some miracle, the miscreants had avoided getting hurt or more importantly, hurt anyone important or break anything of value, then she couldn't squander her chance to salvage this.

"So what do you propose we do now?" she asked cautiously. "You know you don't have my permission to do volunteer work and I'm pretty certain that in an hour or so it will past your curfew."

"Always have your priorities in check, huh?" Ryan snorted. "As for what we should do now? You can come back with me peacefully, without threatening a certain little blonde shrimp or causing the old people there to have heart attacks, and you'll let us finish our shift, which should be over pretty soon. Because Kathleen says she already paid your bills."

"That's manageable." Renee replied. "But what's the catch?"

Might as well be blunt. "You're right, there is a catch. But you're the one at fault for it. It was all so relatively simple, until you threw us a curveball."

"How am I at fault for this?" Renee raised her voice. "I was pushed out of a window!"

"Yes, and after being submitted to the hospital, you had the bright idea to mount your bills exponentially." Ryan said wryly.

"What do you mean "mount my bills"?"

Ryan always did savor the rare instances where his sister ended up looking dumb. This one was no different, and perhaps the best one ever.

---

"…and she cried about how she can't take it no more, how you kids were driving her nuts, she kept asking "Where did I go wrong?" and "What did I do to deserve this?", and some other things that I shouldn't repeat to you youngsters." Albert sullenly elaborated.

Lynn and Lincoln had asked for him to be blunt, and so he was, since the jig was up.

"And about dad?" Lynn asked.

"Just that he was, her words not mine, a "spineless magot who bails on his own family", though she also used some more…colorful language there." Their grandfather continued. "But I guess if what you're saying is true then that last bit might have been a bit undeserved."

It wasn't easy to hear that, but it wasn't as hard as either sibling thought it would be, likely since both had guessed their mother's choice of words in advance, including the alleged swearing. Albert resumed his awkward silence, waiting for his grandkids to ask the next question.

"And that wasn't the first time she told you such things, right?" Lincoln guessed.

"Not even close." Albert exhaled. "But I gotta say, she never was this…intense."

"And did she say anything about…." Lynn struggled to say the dreaded d-word "…about a divorce?"

Albert looked a little alarmed. "Divorce? Goodness gracious, kids, what have you been thinking? She never mentioned such a-"

"But you thought about it too, be honest?" Lincoln said bluntly. Albert wanted to retort but sank back into his chair, obviously defeated.

"Maybe…" he admitted. "But I didn't think it would ever get this bad."

"We used to think the same. But it can and we fear it will. It just a matter of escalation. Once something really bad happens, it will be the final straw. I think both their marriage and their patience are standing on a deck of cards."

Albert hated to admit it, but the kid was right. The Louds' home was always a breeding ground for chaos and mayhem, and it only escalated as each new kid was brought back home. So did his daughter's unsubtle exasperation. He felt more guilty now than ever for never speaking up about it, for dismissing it before and then just not commenting on the matter.

But just what was he supposed to say to his grandkids? That they were all terrible people and needed to dial it back? He knew they weren't terrible people, at least not intentionally. But intention was irrelevant when you were causing someone immense grief. He didn't know what made the kids finally pick up the hints, something kids were usually bad at (or willfully ignorant about), but Albert knew better than to question a miracle.

"But you say you've been trying to work things out back home? You two, and Lucy, and Lana? And even Luan chose to dial back her pranking shenanigans."

"Yes…sorta?" Lynn nodded. "I don't think Lana or Luan still grasp just how severe this thing is, just that they are putting huge pressure on mom and dad."

"And you say Rita and Lynn had some downtime since their last argument and even went on a date?" Albert said with some hope. "I mean, that must count for something?"

"I guess, but after what happened today…" Lincoln grimaced. "We were trying to avoid another major disaster."

"They always are our fault." Lynn said grimly, fiddling with her hands. Lincoln saw her strong façade crumble, her lips trembled and a single tear dripped down her cheek.

She felt her brother's hand touch hers in a comforting gesture and she didn't care that she cried in front of him, she was too upset to care.

"Lynn, don't be so hard on yourself. At least you are taking responsibility for your actions, that's always an admirable thing." Albert tried to reassure her. "And you're not the only ones. Kids tend to be mischievous and they are always a handful, it's all part of growing up."

Lynn didn't say anything, Lincoln just sighed. "I guess, but we still cause plenty of…"

"You're not special there, Lincoln. Why, Rita was no angel when she was your age, neither was I. I gave my folks some splitting headaches back in the day. It's just…." He scratched his neck "….well, as you said, it's about escalation. Most parents will have some issues with their kids, but few have to take care of ten of them, ranging from hyperactive toddlers to rowdy preteen athletes to rebellious young women going through growing pains."

Lynn rolled her eyes. "Well, if there's one thing Lori did for me it was teach me how not to act as a high schooler." The last thing she ever wanted to be is a phone addict or give Ryan cringe-inducing pet names. Let alone wear dresses.

"And I too was a parent, I know it's not easy admitting that your own flesh and blood might need some…reprimanding. Most parents worry about being too hard on their kids. I can tell you right now that both Rita and especially Lynn have expressed that concern. Not to mention, just what counts as disciplining your kids and what counts as child abuse depends on the era."

Albert let out a small chuckle and leaned forward to rub his rump. "You and Rita are both lucky you were born after the spanking era. Some say it was too harsh, but it did sure help whip naughty kids into shape."

"Is there such a thing as parental abuse? Cuz I'm pretty sure I'm guilty as hell of that." Lynn said sardonically, wiping away her tear.

"Now, now, L.J, I don't want to hear such quitter talk, least of all from you." Albert adopted a sterner tone. "You're acting as if your parents had split already? But unless you're holding out on me, they are still together and have no plans of separating."

Lynn looked puzzled. "Yes, but-"

"But nothing. Look, kids…I was indeed worried that the worst might happen, but what you two have been doing? That's perfect!" Albert stood up with newfound vigor. "That's just the kick in the pants this whole family needed to change for the better."

"You really think so?" Lincoln grew a small smile.

"Do I?" Albert laughed and plopped back into his seat. "I don't know how you kids came to your senses on your own, and frankly, I'm not going to be nosy about it. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Especially since there's no time to spare. Your plan is the way to go, now you just need to make sure that it keeps on going without any major hurdles."

"You really think it will work?" Lynn asked. She had hoped it would, but hearing it come from Albert gave her some newfound confidence.

"I don't see any reason why it shouldn't. You say there haven't been any major disasters since Rita's last visit?"

Lincoln and Lynn nodded. There were no big disasters, at least none that affected their parents. They could fill in Albert on those other details later.

"And you can count me in, as the newest member of your secret marriage counsel illuminati." Albert proclaimed. "Rita's my baby girl, and I want to help out any way I can."

The siblings were speechless but nonetheless felt reassured. Their work might not be for naught.

"Well, it's more of a family counsel illuminati…" Lincoln admitted. "Lori, Leni, Luna and Lola are still none the wiser, even though we tried to explain it to some of them."

Albert rubbed his chin. It wasn't surprising that Lola and Lori remained stubborn, but then again, he would have thought the same about Lynn just an hour ago, so if she could change, why not them?

"I know Lola's a pain in the neck but she's still little. There's room for her to learn. Leni though, she isn't much of a nuisance unless someone more ambitious directs her in the wrong way."

"Yeah, like Lori I suppose." His grandson remembered.

"But what about Renee?" Lynn brought up. "Mom and dad will freak when they see what happened to her."

"You're right, and Lisa?" Lincoln remembered. "She had…an accident at the children's hospital and has her arm in a cast now, those kids…eh…are vicious."

"Lisa's arm is hurt?" Albert blinked but immediately took on a more commanding tone. "Never mind that. Those things we can work with, you paid your babysitter's bill. What's important is to show your mother and father that their home life isn't a complete wreck. I'll have a few words with Rita about that."

"But how are we going to explain it?" Lynn asked him.

"We'll think of something." Albert replied. "And we should probably give them some herbal tea and an aspirin for good measure before doing so."

"I guess that's better than letting mom drink herself into a stupor again?" Lincoln rationalized.

"She's doing that too?" Albert grew worried. "Good lord….ugh…one step at a time. Rehabs are one thing, but reigning in all the girls, that's going to be the hard part."

"That much is certain, but I think we have been making some genuine progress." Lincoln regained some hope. "If Luan is willing to give up her Prankmageddon, anything is doable."

"Isn't that just heart-warming." Came a sarcastic response.

Lynn and Lincoln both nearly jumped out of their seats. "Renee!"

Indeed, their badly battered babysitter was standing in front of them. Ryan quickly emerged from behind her, his right eye bruised and swollen shut.

"No need to fret, she won't hurt you." He said confidently. "I explained everything to her."

Lynn noticed his eyes. "What the hell did you do to him!"

"We just had a family discussion." Renee answered coolly.

"That's her?" Albert squinted. Like any other person in this room, she was just a vaguely defined blur to him.

"I assume all you little rats are present and accounted for." Renee was as upfront as always.

"Yes, we're all here." Lynn narrowed hers. "And I see you're up and running? I almost feel like complementing you."

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Renee did the same.

"Wasn't trying to." The jock huffed.

Lincoln looked their babysitter over, before chuckling nervously. What should you say to a person you pushed out of a window? "Hey, Renee? I guess today went a little haywire?" The teen sent him a death glare, shutting him up.

"That's an understatement." Ryan snarked, rubbing his shiner.

"Yes, we've established that today and the day before that were unspeakable disasters, but I at least hope that visiting grandpa will mark the end of it." His sister growled. "The least I can do now is get you back before your curfew."

"Hey there, my name's…"

"I don't care who you are." Renee held her hand up at Albert, not even looking at him. "And I don't care about the Louds' domestic disputes. The only thing I care about is finishing my job and at least tuck in these miscreants before their parents arrive. I have enough issues to deal with as it is."

"That won't be a problem." A new voice joined in. Renee turned abruptly to find Kathleen.

"You." She hissed, pure hate blaring in her eyes.

"Keep it steady, sis." Ryan grabbed her by the shoulder. "She calls the shots here."

Kathleen smiled pleasantly. "Renee, I think the two of us started off on the wrong foot. Personally, I can't blame you, especially since I feel partially responsible for your accident."

"I don't like you and I never will, if that wasn't clear. And are you offering a bribe?" Renee responded bluntly.

"Not at all, call it a favor, to compensate for this inconvenience." Kathleen explained. "See, my family has a lot of influence in this town. Money too, but that goes without saying."

"So what is your bribe then?" Renee asked. "I'm in no mood for games."

"Well, since your brother kept his word and you never caused a riot, the least I could do as compensation is call the local hospital, and the authorities. A little money exchanged hands while you and Ryan settled things, and to make a long story short, as far as they are concerned, you were never submitted to the hospital."

The others were all shocked, even Renee. "You did that? This quickly?"

"It wasn't hard really. Just a few calls and a little cash."

Renee grimaced. She felt so pathetic right now, but she couldn't pass up an easy fix to her predicament. Maybe this situation was still salvageable.

"Fine." He groaned. "You drive a hard bargain, but I'll accept. Now." She turned to the Loud siblings. "When does your shift end?"

"Very soon." Kathleen explained. "They've all been hard workers today."

Renee rolled her eyes. "I suppose I owe you a "thank you", for keeping these imbeciles in line during my absence."

"Oh, no need to thank me." Kathleen said humbly.

"Then I won't." Renee limped towards the nearest armchair. "If nobody minds, I'll sit here until it's time to escort you home."

"Excuse me, ma'am, I need to…" she heard a lispy voice but saw no one. Until she glanced down and found Lisa carrying a food tray containing a bowl of oatmeal, a glass of milk and a few different pills.

Renee's face contorted into a look of utter horror, while Lisa dropped her tray. "Renee?!"

Her eyes still bulging and her nostrils flaring up, Renee pointed at Lisa's arm cast.

"What. Is. That. Thing?" Renee asked through clenched teeth, when Kathleen joined her side.

"The poor thing." She put her hand to her mouth. "She had an accident while working at the children's hospital. I knew those kids could be difficult but…"

"You broke your arm?!"

"This could get ugly, guys." Ryan said fearfully, as he along with Lynn and Lincoln joined them.

"Um…yes?" Lisa said meekly, cowering under Renee's looming shadow.

"Ren, don't do anything rash." Ryan grabbed her by the left arm, knowing she would blow her top any second.

"How DARE you break your arm!?"

Lisa stepped back when, surprisingly, Lynn hoisted her up and held her protectively. She wasn't fond of the egghead, but nobody deserved a pounding from a psycho.

"How dare you! I'll break your…." Renee rambled as Ryan and Lincoln held her back.

"You do know breaking more of her bones won't help things?" Ryan said snidely.

His sister resorted to growling unintelligibly and shut her eyes tight and snapped her head back. Lincoln swallowed a lump, feeling like he was holding on to a mad bull. Ryan was barely fazed.

All of a sudden, her demeanor changed. She froze and opened her eyes, remaining eerily silent.

Lynn blinked, still holding Lisa. "Eh….did her brain melt?"

"Renee?" Ryan looked at her. "You still in there…."

The teen took a huge breath. "I'm fine. Let me go." She said calmly.

The boys reluctantly did so, while Lynn watched her warily. But instead of pouncing on her, Renee turned left and limped off.

"Where are you going?" Ryan asked.

"To mend this situation."

The others exchanged confused glances. "I'll look into this." Ryan volunteered and chased after her.

Kathleen put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Mood swinger much? I hate to say this, but Ryan's sister could use a good psychiatrist."

"Maybe you have a point." Lincoln had to admit, still shaken, but also frustrated.

His patience with Renee was certainly growing thin, with her continued and shameless cruelty. At least his sisters were usually too oblivious to pick up on what they were doing, but Renee was completely aware of what she was doing and she never cared.

"Only took you this long to notice, guys?" Lynn huffed, being all too familiar with Renee's sociopathy from last night's little female bonding session while trying to catch a streaking, drugged Lana from running rampant through town.

"Eh, thank you, Lynn." She heard Lisa speak.

The jock glowered at her. She thought about dropping her, but remembered her arm. Plus, being threatened by a pissed-off One Eye and a pissed-off Renee in the span of a few hours, that was rough. And she was certain Renee would have given her a far worse maiming that the wolf.

She placed her down. "Don't try to weasel your way in." she gave a curt response. "Just stay out of Renee's way for now."

---

"Where are you off to?" Ryan caught up with his sister in the hall.

"To ask for some medicine. For the little miscreant."

"You're not going to do something crazy, are ya?" Ryan inquired.

Renee halted and turned to him. "Ryan, I don't know how this little tidbit escaped you, but this gig of mine is officially a bust. A botched job. A lost cause. Kaputt. Ruined. Unsalvageable."

Ryan didn't know what to say. His sister actually looked defeated, despondent. It made him feel just a smidge bad for her. Ryan knew what it was like to work yourself to the bone to accomplish something. Despite her extreme and unethical methods, but then again, he was not one to talk. He even could relate to the feeling of wanting to strangle Lisa.

Call him crazy, but he actually understood his sister just a little in that moment. A moment of pity if you will. Plus, seeing someone so strong and capable crumble was never a pretty sight, and his sister, if nothing else, was definitely strong.

"I can lie about the madness that happened last night, but I can't hide a physical injury, least of all my own. I failed. So, if you'll excuse me, the least I can do is get some medicine to help speed up the kid's bone growth."

And so she continued limping, coming across Parvana carrying a stack of sheets.

"Move it!" Renee pushed her aside, causing her to drop the sheets.

"Dems the breaks, sis." Ryan sighed before noticing the other girl, who sent him a frightened and confused look. But Ryan didn't feel like taunting her right now and just walked off.

Further down the hall, Renee pulled out her phone and looked up a new number she had added to her speed dial today. She sent a message, but just as she finished, her phone rang and the caller ID freaked her out.

---

"Where's Lana when you need her?" Lucy thought miserably. The tomboy might have actually enjoyed this task. She had no problem doing it to Aunt Ruth.

"This is the life. You little whippersnappers are good for somethin'." Scoots reclined in her chair, barefoot.

She was barefoot since Lucy had just finished massaging her bunions and was currently filing her grotesquely oversized nails that don't seem to have been clipped in five years, something Lucy tried to do at first, but it broke the clipper, and half of them were infected with fungus.

To say nothing of the gross, grimy stuff lodged between her toes. Lucy was trying real hard not to think about those.

"Meow."

Lucy looked to her side and saw Marceline standing there idly. The goth smiled a bit, at least someone was enjoying their stay here. Charles was sitting next to an old man who bent down to pet his back every now and then and next to them, Cliff was sleeping in an old granny's lap, who was also asleep on her rocking chair, her jaw gaping and drool spiling from it.

"Marceline, I don't suppose I can ask for a favor?" Lucy whispered to the feline. "Can you find Scoots' room and use her bed as your litterbox?"

"What's this?" Scoots felt her nose tickling and started sneezing uncontrollably. Lucy backed away from the incoming snotballs.

Scoots continued sneezing and her eyes started itching. She sneezed out her teeth, which fell on the floor and started chattering.

"A cath?!" the toothless Scoots glared daggers at Marceline. "Ahm allerhgic tha caths! Who leth thath bhasted fuhball in!"

Screeching, Marceline jumped back and barely dodged the swinging cane. Lucy quickly grabbed her and held her protectively.

"Hey! You can't treat her like this!"

"Give meh thath thinh soh ah can whack ith intho nexth Th..thuesday!" Scoots roared, lifting her cane, when a loud "ding" was heard.

"BONGO!"

"The game ended half an hour ago, you old coot!"

"It ain't over until it's over, Sherley!"

"My name is Tim, you coot!"

"Goddammith! Ith thime foh bed!?" Scoots complained. "Ah didnht geth tha have any theal fhun!"

"That means…." Lucy smiled "…our shifts over."

She looked back at Scoots. "So long. This evening was horrendous and I thoroughly despised every moment I had to spend with the likes of you. If I never see you again, it will be too soon. Later!" Lucy blew a raspberry and got out of there as Scoots growled in anger.

"Finally!" Renee got up from her chair. "This circus show is over." She limped as fast as she could to the front door. "All you miscreants, assembled this instant!"

"For once, I wholly agree with you." Lucy was the first to arrive, holding Marceline, who hissed at Renee, not that the latter gave a crap.

"Dang it! I was just starting to have fun." Lana came back, holding a plunger, wearing waterproof yellow overalls along with rubber boots and gloves, and was covered in what Lucy hoped was just grime and fungus.

"You'd be surprised how many toilets here are clogged up."

"That's already too much detail." Lucy wanted to hurl, while Marceline's nose wrinkled and she squirmed in discomfort.

"I just hope Mr. Johnson didn't need his pills on a daily basis for his heart, liver and kidney to all function properly." A tired Lisa joined them.

He didn't seem particularly concerned about them, especially after Lisa helped him locate his VHS-tape, labeled "Moaning Malibu MILFs", whatever that was about?

Lincoln said nothing as he arrived, just happy that things turned out as good as they did.

"Man, I can't wait to hit the hey." Lynn yawned before whistling with her fingers. That got Charles to get up and he ran up to her, tongue hanging and tail waggling, but Cliff was still sleeping like a baby.

"Linc, you mind?" Lynn rolled her eyes.

"Sure…" Lincoln came to grab him from the sleeping woman's lap. "C'mon, lazy bones."

Cliff hummed in annoyance. He very much preferred this place to his home, to say nothing of that kid-infested hellhole.

Renee tapped her good foot. "If that's all, then we're leaving-"

"Hold your horses, I'm coming too!"

"Pop-Pop?" the siblings looked at the stairs and saw Albert coming down with a small bag of luggage in his right hand.

"It's about time I paid you a visit, haven't seen the old place in eons." The old man proclaimed but Susan came between them and stopped him.

"You're not going anywhere, Albert."

"Why not?" Albert said petulantly. "I packed all my required medication and I have the right to visit my own blasted family!"

"You know the rules." Susan said indifferently. "We can't allow you to leave this premise without an escort."

"Well, we are here?" Lynn gestured at her siblings. "And we're his family."

"Minors don't count, shortstack." Susan retorted, making Lynn fume.

"That's not fair, why can't he come!" Lana stomped her foot. "I didn't even get to talk to him!"

"Though break, kid. But you can keep the plunger." Susan shrugged and walked off. "You don't want Olga and Hildegard dragging you back to your room for another timeout, Albert."

"Why of all the…" Albert grumbled before giving his grandkids an apologetic smile. "Well, looks like I hit a stumbling block. But don't worry…"

He leaned closer and whispered. "I'll think of something by tomorrow to get out of here. Scout's honor."

"You can't come?" Lincoln's face dropped. "But…"

"But how are we going to explain "you know what" to mom and dad?" Lynn asked.

Renee rolled her eyes. "Actually, that won't be much of an issue tonight. Fortunately for us."

"What do you mean?" Lana asked.

"I just received a call from your parents. They won't be able to come home tonight. Which means I get to spend more time with you, aren't we lucky?" Renee grumbled.

"As lucky as a bat running into an owl." Lucy muttered.

This caught the others by surprise. "Can't come? Why? Did something happen?" Lincoln asked worriedly.

"Relax, nobody died or got maimed." Renee reassured him uncaringly. "But it's late and we got to bring you back home, I'll explain the details there. Now let's hit the road."

Albert sighed in disappointment and gave his grandkids a farewell hug. "Take care, kids. I'll come visit you in no time, just need to remember where my hidden stash is. I'll need it for some bribery." He whispered and gave a knowing wink.

The kids said goodbye to him and followed Renee outside, accompanied by their canine and two feline companions. It was nighttime. The Louds, especially Lincoln and Lynn, had a lot of questions regarding their parents and Lori's whereabouts, but Renee made it clear her lips were sealed until they were back home.

"Ryan! Come on!" Renee called for her brother, who was back at the shuffleboard court.

Seymour and Bernie were still struggling to move their disks, while Ryan had fallen asleep on his feet, leaning against the chalkboard.

"RYAN!"

"Ah!" Ryan jumped and knocked the chalkboard down, falling on top of it.

"What?! What happened!" he looked around confused.

"Our shift's over, we are going home." Lincoln explained.

"Sweet mercy, am I right?" Lynn let out a weak laugh, feeling popped.

"Indeed, this line of work is never easy, but the results are all the more rewarding for it." Kathleen appeared, much to everyone's annoyance. And Lola was with her.

"Hey? I never saw you anywhere? What were you doing this whole time?" Lana pointed her plunger at her twin accusingly.

"Gross, get that thing away from me!" the princess recoiled in horror and took a step back. The darkness prevented her from recognizing the new face that had joined the group. Renee's eyes widened in anger upon seeing her.

"And if you must know." Lola continued haughtily. "Kathleen told me how that whacko Renee broke out of the hospital and was hunting us down, so I hung out with Olga and Hildegard, those two big caretakers who do the heavy-lifting at Pop-Pop's home, for protection."

"You!" the aforementioned whacko growled.

Lola's face paled. "You?!" she squeaked. The others grew nervous, they had totally forgotten to keep Lola away from Renee.

"Oh-oh." Ryan quipped, interested to see where this would go.

"I meant "whacko" as a compliment, I swear!" Lola cried in horror.

Kathleen chuckled. "Alright, Renee, I know you might be upset to see Lola again, that's why I-"

"YOU LITTLE RAT!" with lightning speed, Renee's hand seized Lola's neck.

Lola could only let out gargled chokes as the teen throttled her.

"Lola!" Kathleen tried to pull her free, while Lynn and Lincoln tried to pull Renee off Lola. Ryan, however, just watched, intending to let nature take its course.

The younger Louds looked on in shock, while Charles and Cliff grew fearful and stepped back from the commotion. Not so much Marceline, who merely watched Lola with the same keen interest as her owner.

They managed to separate Lola from Renee and pulled the enraged teen back, while Lola, gasping for air, was hoisted up by Kathleen.

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, Renee calmed down enough to realized what a stupid and counterintuitive thing she just did. But even Renee Taylor wasn't immune to the persuasive power of blind fury.

"Lola, are you okay?" Kathleen asked her.

The princess coughed and rubbed her throat. Kathleen looked back at Renee, looking shocked beyond all comprehension.

"Why did you do that?"

"Take a wild guess!" Renee spat.

Kathleen stepped back, still holding Lola protectively. "Are you out of your mind? She's just a little kid."

"Hand her back!" Renee demanded. "We played your little game. We are going home now!"

"I'm sorry, but that's off the table." Kathleen denied her request, much to everyone's surprise.

"What did you say?" Renee growled.

"She's coming with me."

"I'm what?" Lola was at a loss for words.

"I don't rest well letting you go back with these people. Your siblings don't wish to protect you, while the Taylor siblings both harbor grim intentions towards you. Don't think I've forgotten, Ryan."

"She pushed my sister out of a window! How was I supposed to react in the moment?" Ryan snorted.

Kathleen looked sullen and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Renee. But you are obviously not qualified to look after children."

"My resume would say otherwise." Renee huffed. An unnerved and frustrated Lincoln shook her shoulder.

"Renee, this is not the time to be-"

"Which just scares me more. I hate to use such language, but I cannot allow Lola to be left at the mercy of your….your sociopathy."

The others recoiled. Kathleen was really pushing her luck now.

Renee narrowed her eyes and huffed. "How quaint. "Sociopathy" is just a derogatory term used by overemotional simpletons to hedge their bets. And need I remind you that these kids are my responsibility, their father signed a contract saying so."

"And need I remind you that I just helped you pull yourself out of a whole heap of trouble, something I can easily undo with a few phone calls?" Kathleen said evenly.

The other Louds and Ryan were stunned into silence, and even Renee was caught off-guard.

"Are you trying to extort me?" she clenched her fists.

"I don't do extortion, I'm simply giving you room to cool off so you won't hurt this poor child. And I wish to do that without any further trouble." Kathleen replied. "And I'm serious about this, Renee. Even my graciousness has limits."

Renee was stunned into speechlessness. She never heard this rich bimbo sound so serious about anything. Was she really trying to flaunt her power? The others all realized the same thing.

"You can't just take her away?" a befuddled Lincoln spoke up. "Not now!"

"Yes, we're her family, like it or not!" Lynn jabbed her thumb into her chest.

"We've been with Renee for over a day and we haven't been hurt." Lincoln tried to reason, knowing Kathleen had them hooked now.

"I know." Kathleen nodded sadly, cradling the stunned Lola. "Which is why all of you are invited to come with me, so are Leni, Luna and of course Luan, wherever they are now."

She turned to Ryan, and the boy noticed just the faintest bit of disdain in her eyes. "But not you, Ryan. I'm sorry, but you seem to be cut from the same cloth as your sister, especially in regards to how you handle little kids."

"That's not true!" Lucy spoke up. "Only with kids like her!"

"You're right, Kathy! He's a menace." Lola said boldly. "I've been telling you this all this time!"

"You can all jump in my limousine now, Louds." Kathleen gestured at the limo, where James started the engines and turned on the headlights. "Believe me, this is for the better."

But much to her apparent surprise, none of them spoke up. Lana fiddled a little but after exchanging glances with Lynn, she was reminded of what the jock had warned her about.

"Are you sure about this?"

"If my bud ain't invited, I'm not going." Lynn put an arm over Ryan.

"Same here." Lucy nodded. "I don't bunk with strangers."

Kathleen looked over the others, but they were all silent.

"It's your choice, don't say I didn't warn you." She sighed in resignation before giving the seething Renee another serious look.

"And remember, it's in your best interest not to do anything rash."

Renee gritted her teeth and clenched her fists as Kathleen took Lola away in her arms. The blonde brat mustered up the courage to blow a raspberry at her ex-babysitter.

"See ya, suckers! I'll be dining like a queen tonight! Ha! Good thing do come to the fairest of them all!" she boasted before being loaded into the limo, where Jenny and Amber were waiting for their leader. Kathleen just waved goodbye before closing the door and the limo drove off.

"What just happened?" Lana asked.

"Lola went to a last-minute slumber party with her new rich friend." Lucy replied bitterly.

"Correction…." Lynn grunted "…what just happened is that Renee over there let that bimbo play her like a sucker!"

Renee turned sharply at her, clenching her teeth. "Silence!"

"Why should I?" Lynn shot back. "Like you have any authority to tell us what to do, considering you just lost one of us to freaking blackmail!"

Renee seethed.

"She's right." Lincoln said in resignation and sent her a scowl. He couldn't quite pinpoint what this feeling was, but at this moment, something in him snapped. "You kept badgering us ever since you first arrived about discipline and control and yet it was you who just blew a fuse and throttled a 5-year-old!"

"Yeah, we have a word for people like you: hypocrite! And stinking liar!" Lynn added.

"She's right?" Lana realized and stepped up. "You are a liar! And a phony!"

"Can't practice what you preach. Hallmarks of a charlatan." Lucy said evenly. Lisa stayed quiet.

"Shut up!" Renee roared. "You idiotic children have no idea what your-"

"Or what!" Lynn challenged her. "You're going to beat us up! Do it already, cuz that's all you are! A bully and a goddam control freak!"

"Why you-"

"She's right!" Lincoln raised his voice. "Dad wanted someone responsible, someone who would keep things under control. But all we got was a tyrant and a bully. You don't care about keeping order, you just like abusing people who can't fight back just to stroke your own ego!"

"We all could have been free from Kathleen tonight, but you just prolonged it by being an overemotional simpleton." Lucy added.

Ryan just watched in awe. He had never seen anyone call out his sister like this. Plenty of people wished to, but no one ever had the guts to do it.

Renee, meanwhile, watched them in shock, before narrowing her eyes. "You miserable little ingrates! I busted my back trying to keep you animals under control and now-"

"Oh, some job you did!" Lynn stepped up and got all up in her face. "Under your watch, Lana took candy from some creep and ran around town in the nude, almost falling to her death, while the others got kidnapped by a loon trying to smash their brains in and you did nothing to rescue us because you were too busy cleaning up your own mess, and dragged me into it instead of helping my siblings! You call that having things under control? You say you're in charge, then all the blame falls on you! Same here, if you could have kept your temper in check, we'd be rid of the other annoying bitch that won't leave us alone!"

The two looked ready to trade blows, so Ryan intervened and jumped in.

"Take it easy, Lynn." He lightly pushed Lynn back.

"What?" Lynn asked curtly. "You got nothing to say to this pathetic excuse for a sister of yours!"

"I don't think I can add much." Ryan shrugged. "To be perfectly honest, I can't exactly fault her for doing what she did, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite too. I know better than anyone about the irresistible temptation of wanting to kill that blonde brat."

He suddenly turned to his sister and grimaced. "But they're right, sis. Things were going fine until you screwed the pooch by trying to choke that twerp. I told you a dozen times not to do anything rash, I explained it all to you."

Renee was silent, her expression unreadable. But she made no attempt to assert her authority. She didn't do anything.

"Guys?" Lincoln rubbed his temples, feeling exhausted from his outburst. "Can we just go home and release Luna and Leni from the bunker?"

"They're still in the bunker?" Lana asked, only now remembering.

"And wherever she locked Luan up." Ryan added, looking at his sister. "Don't think I haven't thought of that. Let's just go, I had enough shit for one night."

They all left on their own accord, heading back home, including the pets, who didn't want to be anywhere near Renee anyway. Nobody cared to ask Renee for permission or to lead the way. Watching them go, the teen was left to seethe in silent fury, but she didn't throw a fit or anything. She just silently went after them.

She didn't notice Parvana standing on the lit porch, watching them go. She didn't know what to make of this, any of this, but she knew she wouldn't forget these people any time soon.

---

As is mandatory when there's a lengthy hiatus, I try to make a comeback with a long chapter. I'm surprised that this fell considerably short of the 20,000 words mark, unlike One Eye's big scene. Guess writing Spongebob fics helped me learn to be more economical. And I think this wrapped up this sub-story nicely. Almost anyway, as Lynn Sr., Rita and Lori still haven't come back home, given their delay. The next chapter, another breather (mostly), will give them a little more screen time, and further highlight how inconsiderate Lori can be.

The most important event, of course, was Albert's proper debut in the story. I've been subtly hinting a few times before that he knew what was going on at his daughter's home, and I finally got around to confirm that. It would seem that, much like his grandson and sporty granddaughter, Old Al also feels guilt for dismissing his family issues and for his inaction, and much like them, he's wants to make it right. Not sure if they will fill him in on all the crazier things they had to deal with during this unusually eventful week and a half. But now that he's in, let's see what help he can offer moving forward, especially as the day of the "incident" is closer and closer to the horizon.

Like with Darcy, I'm still experimenting on how to write him. As usual, I don't really care about being "true" to the characters' paper-thin and wishy-washy characterizations from the show, but to take the basic ideas surrounding them and make something interesting and compelling out of it. This is of course set-up, so he can be utilized more in the future. I did consider using him and some of the other Sunset Canyon residents for a while; with Albert being the senile but cool and reliable grandpa, Seymour being mild-manner and obnoxiously polite, while Scoots is just a plain old asshole and she's very shameless about it.

For the last dozen chapters of so, Lola seemed to be on the verge of having an epiphany, to realize what a rotten little brat she really is, after continuously being beaten down by reality and all her past wrongdoings finally catching up with her, but that darn Kathleen Tisdale keeps barging in and pulling her back into her delusions of being a perfect little angel. And a night at the Tisdale Mansion will undoubtedly not help her see the light. Makes you wonder just what Kathleen wants with her?

Speaking of such people, then there's Renee, probably the most insidiously cruel character to have a major role in this fic. I like my antagonists cruel and uncompromised, be they main antagonists or minor jerkasses, and Renee was one who held back no punches. While she was a classic example of a "jerk who gets shit done", her extreme methods, lack of empathy and blatant cruelty and hypocrisy ultimately caught up with her and she lost control, which seemed to fall right into Kathleen's hands, whatever she might be plotting. Obviously, Renee is not going to spontaneously grow a conscience and give a crap about the Louds or their suffering at her hands, but one thing she does care about is her own self-imposed image of perfection, her belief that she's this highly-skilled and highly disciplined, can-do-no-wrong ace due to being "above" basic human flaws, something she's been struggling to maintain ever since she opted to be the Louds' babysitter and it finally crumbled in this chapter. Being forced to realize that hurt her a lot more than anything else could, and it will be interesting to see the aftermath of that.