Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I'm so glad you all agree that not everyone is cut out to be a parent.

"Stainless steel or titanium?" It had to be the weirdest way Jasper had ever greeted Edward over the phone.

"Depends," Edward answered eventually.

He was enjoying a quiet moment with Bella, late in the evening on Friday. The week they had, had to be one of the worst to ever exist. On top of barely sleeping due to Cynthia being fussy, Edward had lost one important client, and his mother had stolen Tanya earlier to help preparing his father's birthday cake. His mom had promised Tanya would be gone only for a couple of hours. She had come at the first hour to take her, and now it was past six o'clock in the evening – no trace of Tanya.

Bella was snuggled into his side, intent on a new book she'd bought. She'd been obsessing over it for weeks.

Jasper chuckled. "I'm thinking durability and strength."

"Titanium is three to four times stronger than stainless steel," Edward said thoughtfully. "Seriously, it depends what kind of objects we're talking about. Jewelry, watches, car parts?"

Jasper laughed louder. Edward could even hear Alice's giggle, which made him realize he was on speaker. "We're shopping, but not for anything you just mentioned," Jasper said cryptically.

Edward sat up straighter, pulling his arm from around Bella's shoulders. They were talking about sex toys. "Stainless steel, then."

"Are you sure?" Jasper asked.

"Titanium scratches easily," Alice chirped.

"Do I want to know what you're talking about?" Edward feared the answer, but he'd made his choice. It wouldn't be the first time they'd bought each other kinky presents.

After all, the Ben-Wa balls were Jasper's idea, thought Edward had gotten them himself. Though, the most recent not so innocent gift of theirs had been the nipple clamps for Bella. They had both enjoyed them greatly – several times over.

"It's a surprise!" Alice thrilled. "How's Cynthia?"

"Sleeping," Edward muttered.

"What? It's six o'clock! If you messed her sleeping schedule…."

"Alice, baby, relax," Jasper said calmly. "We'll be back tomorrow."

"During the morning, hopefully, because we have to be at Dad's birthday bash around noon."

"Ah, our plane lands at two o'clock in the afternoon."

"Fuck." Edward knuckled her forehead. "Fine. See you tomorrow."

"I'll call you when we're on our way," Jasper promised.

"Are they buying kitchen stuff?" Bella asked, her head still bent over the book in her hands.

Edward placed his phone on the couch next to him. He tried not to laugh at her innocence, because he hadn't been any better at guessing. "Your guess is as good as mine," he chose to say.

She hummed quietly, chewing on her lips, eyes intent on the page she was reading. Edward shifted closer, bending his head to lick the shell of her ear. It was downright immature and juvenile, but he hadn't had much Bella time with Cynthia around.

Bella huffed, swatting at his chest. "You're worse than Jake when you don't get your way."

"I'd rather not be compared to that…your friend."

"Nice save," she muttered sarcastically, closing the book with a thud.

Awesome, Edward thought. Now she was upset, which meant she'd not be amiable to do anything besides avoid him.

"When are they returning?" Bella asked, bringing her knees up to her chest.

"Tomorrow while we're at the party. We'll have a very good reason to leave early."

She reached for his hands, threading their fingers together. "I've been meaning to ask…" Cynthia shouting Bella's name at the top of her little lungs made Bella wince, but laugh a little.

They went together to check on their friends' baby girl. After several minutes of trying to figure out if Cynthia needed a change or maybe she was hungry, it became clear that she just wanted to play.

They were on the bed, showing Cynthia various cards with animals painted on them. Even Harley was curled at the foot of the bed, dozing off.

A knock on the bedroom door, pulled Edward away. Tanya looked downright livid.

"Can we talk, sir?"

"I'll be right back," he told Bella, leaving the bedroom. "Do I want to know what Mom wanted from you?" He steered Tanya toward the kitchen area.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. Your mother doesn't seem to understand…" Her eyes dropped to the floor. "Forgive me if I'm too forward, Mr. Cullen, but we never had to discuss my job description."

He stopped her speech with a finger under her chin, lifting her head. "I'm sorry, Tanya." And he was. "I thought my mother has learned her lesson."

Tanya shook her head, still not meeting his eyes. "It wasn't only the cake she wanted me to bake. She sprung on me the recipe of some complicated tart and some healthy pot roast. Before I managed to escape, she said she's expecting me again tomorrow."

"Fuck," Edward spat. "Wait! What do you mean by escape? Didn't she drive you back?"

"Uh, no…I called Felix when I was a safe distance away from their house," Tanya mumbled.

"Fucking perfect! I'm done with her." He marched to the sofa where he'd left his phone, dialing his mother's number. "I'm not mad at you, Tanya. I'm very sorry I sent you to the lion's den."

"Please, don't fight with your mother because of me," she begged.

"Too late." The call connected, and before his mother could greet him, Edward shouted, "Are you out of your goddamn mind, woman? You promised me not to terrorize my employee!"

"Oh, Edward! Tanya is such an amazing cook! While the cake was in the oven, we worked on this—"

"We?" he sneered. "This is the last time I make the mistake to allow Tanya anywhere near you."

"But isn't this her job? She cooks for you. Why not help the rest of the family?"

Edward gripped the phone so hard, he feared it was going to crack under the pressure. "Because she's mine," he spat. "And Tanya's not just my cook. You never understood how my household works."

"There is no need to shout at me, sweetheart. I'm just saying…I'm not getting any younger. I need a little help for these events. Besides, now you have Bella for—"

"Shut up, would you, Mom?" Edward gripped his hair, breathing through his nose. "Shut up, before I say something I'll regret."

There was a long silence, during which Edward tried to calm down.

"Are we going to see you tomorrow?" his mom asked in a worried voice.

"I don't know." Maybe, if she tried to apologize, preferably to Tanya…

"Look, sweetheart, I know how much you care for your employees. It's true, I don't understand what her contract entails, I just assumed…"

"You assumed wrong, Mother!"

"If you get this attitude with me," she started in a threatening voice.

"What? Are you going to take me over your knee? I'm thirty-five years old," he spat. Movement at the mouth of the hallway, showed Bella with Cynthia in her arms, watching him worried. "Do you have anything else you might want to say?" he challenged his mother, turning away from Bella's anxious eyes.

"Maybe we should discuss this in person tomorrow."

"If you wish to ruin Dad's birthday…" Edward shrugged. "We'll be there – for Dad."

"Edward…"

"I'm done talking to you. Maybe, when you decide to treat others like human beings, we might have something to talk about." Edward hung up, chucking the phone back on the couch. He resisted the urge to kick the coffee table. The last time he'd done that, there had been glass shattered everywhere.

The last thing he wanted, was for Tanya to have more work thrown at her.

He turned slowly to face a somber picture. Bella was feeding Cynthia some yucky baby puree. Tanya was slumped on one of the bar stool, head in her hands. Felix, who had joined the circus show, stood by Tanya's side, rubbing her back.

Edward realized that saying anything to anyone in that moment, might blow up due his anger. So he chose to take Harley for a run. He went to get dressed appropriately, and when he returned to the kitchen with Harley at his heel, he noticed that Tanya was crying in Felix's arms.

"Wait," he told Harley, who sat down by the front door.

Edward went to Bella, anger boiling in his veins as he passed Tanya. He tried to rationalize that he didn't want to go over to his mother's house right then, or he'd do something incredibly stupid.

"I'll be back later," Edward whispered to Bella, kissing her forehead.

"Are you okay?" she whispered back, so many questions dancing in her eyes.

"I don't know." Edward went back to the door and took Harley's leash. "Come."

The jog along the beach with the dog helped Edward calm down. It wasn't his mother's fault that she didn't understand how her son ticked, how his relationship with his employees worked. Edward had tried his hardest to keep his life as private as possible, even from his family. He'd always allowed them to see what he thought they'd understand and accept.

As he walked on the beach with Harley next to him, staring into the dark ocean, he could envision how his family would react to the news about his lifestyle. Edward had changed over the years – all thanks to Angela, and now his beautiful Bella. But to think that he'd have decided to be open about himself from the beginning…He chuckled at the image of his mother's scandalized face upon seeing his son sitting in a chair at her table with a Sub kneeling at his feet.

When Edward sat down on a rock, Harley butted his muzzle into Edward's cheek, before he swiped his tongue over his face.

"Hey!" Edward protested, but he ruffled the fluff ball. Harley had finally understood he should listen to anyone ordering him, not only Edward. Bella had beamed, with tears in her eyes, when she'd realized her dog was finally listening to her commands.

On their way back home, Harley walked ahead a few feet, sniffing at the ground, with Edward trudging behind him. He hoped to keep his calm at the party, because he was ready to have a conversation with his mom about the way she'd always treated Tanya.

At home, Felix was the only one left in the kitchen. He was making tea by the looks of it.

Harley rushed to his bowl, lapping at the fresh water waiting for him.

"How's Tanya?" Edward asked.

"She's with Bella." A smile played on Felix's lips. "Never thought I'd say this, but damn…Tanya had almost made a huge mess of things back when she kicked Bella out."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Good thing Bella forgave her, huh?" He was still surprised how his employees had taken to calling Bella on her name. It wasn't that he minded, it only proved how close to them she'd become. Edward opened the refrigerator, not surprised to find a sandwich with a post-it note glued to the plastic wrap around on it. His initials were scribbled there messily, which proved Bella had done it.

"Tanya's going to forgive Mrs. Cullen," Felix said quietly, sipping from his cup.

"Not this time, Felix." Edward leaned against the island counter, chewing on his sandwich. "The fun part is, I'm not even that upset with my mom. I'm upset with myself for allowing Tanya to go there. How many times have I allowed Mom to borrow Tanya? How many times has Tanya returned upset?"

"Sir, I hope I'm not being too forward…" Edward gesture for him to continue, when Felix searched his eyes. "It's not your fault. And it's not Mrs. Cullen's fault, either. Not even Tanya's…"

Edward snorted. "You've always tried to be the peacemaker, Felix."

"Listen, that's just how people think. Mrs. Cullen sees Tanya as your help, and since you're family, she thinks she's entitled to that help." Felix glared into his cup. "When I bowed out of continuing the path I'd chosen, my family still considered me a soldier. It didn't matter, I'd chickened out and chosen a safer life."

"Felix—"

Felix shook his head. "I'm not done. Where I'm headed is…my friends and family stopped seeing me as a human being. They saw me as protection. My army training, my build, my muscles…they all led them to believe they were entitled to call me as their bodyguard. My girl, at the time, was amused how people steered clear when they noticed us, but then she got upset for being unable to make new friends since I scared people away."

"Christ!" Edward ran a hand through his hair. "You want to tell me that Mom sees Tanya as help. I already knew that, but I foolishly thought she'd come to understand that Tanya is not a fucking robot who does as I command. For fuck's sake, I don't even have to order her around. I never had to."

Felix chuckled humorlessly. "I was merely pointing out how some people see things. Yes, you're right about the relationship you have with Tanya. It took us months to understand each other," he mused.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Sometimes, you still make me question my decision to pick you." Felix had become a good confidant, when Jasper wasn't near to listen to him lament. After so many years of working together, Edward considered Felix a friend, above any other status.

"Too bad. You're stuck with me." Felix's smile widened.

"Go and check on Tanya. Send Bella back to our room," Edward said, heading to their bedroom.

The bed was filled with plush toys and flashcards. Edward was tempted to throw them on the floor, but he chose to pick them up and put them away slowly.

Edward was fluffing his pillow when Bella returned to their room. She placed a sleeping Cynthia in her crib, before crawling next to him. Her arms went around him, and Edward basked in the loving way Bella hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her back, kissing her head.

"Sleep, love. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Okay," she whispered against his neck. "I only want to know if you're okay."

"I am now."

Hopefully, you won't hate Esme. She simply doesn't understand Tanya is only Edward's, and not the whole family's maid.

Any thoughts on Jasper's gift? I'd love to hear your ideas.