Chapter 23- Hope and Sorrow
They were strolling side by side, Belle's arm hooked around his as Beast continued reading from The Canterbury Tales, when they strolled past the open doors of the ballroom. All afternoon, and into the evening, Cogsworth and Maestro had been auditioning various musicians to play for the Harvest Ball. The music had traveled down the corridors and left the couple smiling on more than one occasion. Now as they traversed the opening of the grand room, the full orchestra could be heard playing together and it drew them in deeper.
Cogsworth and Maestro Fife had finally found the missing pieces they'd been looking for, and took the newly formed ensemble through some well-known pieces, starting with Rameau, a personal favorite of the King.
With a glint of mischief, Beast set the book down on a credenza and swept Belle into his arms, twirling her in step with the music. Her delighted laugh echoed in the cavernous room, and the bright smile on her face threatened to open the wound on her lower lip, but she didn't care. He glided them across the dance floor, humming along to the familiar tune being expertly performed. She loved the sound of his humming and knew that he must have a beautiful baritone voice—although she'd never heard him sing. Mentally, she added it to the list of things she still didn't know about him that she wished to discover.
What had remained of the day passed by quickly, which was apt to happen when one slept past noon, she supposed. They'd shared lunch and dinner, and occupied the time between reading or going over some of the details Cogsworth asked their opinions on. He'd been particularly concerned about the color scheme which Belle felt was obvious given the theme of the event, and all agreed that red and gold were the perfect choice.
Every so often, she'd catch Beast looking at her in a way she hadn't seen in a while. It was the look he had when he was holding back something important he wanted to say. She knew his restraint was due to her state of mourning, and that when an appropriate amount of time had passed, he'd broach whatever subject was niggling at his conscience. But she wasn't willing to wait. Too much of life had already passed them by being timid and shy with one another, and while she appreciated the respect and space he was giving her, she didn't want it.
As the room spun by them and their eyes locked on one another, their bodies dipping and swaying in time with the orchestrations, Belle felt unburdened by recent events and she stayed focused on him. When the final cord played out, Beast dipped her in an elegant, sweeping motion, and her hand came up to caress his cheek. They stood there frozen for a moment, the tension between them hung thick in the limited space between their mouths, before he set her back up on her feet.
Thanking Maestro and the orchestra for the lovely dance, Belle pulled Beast out onto the balcony that overlooked the expansive gardens off the back of the castle. In the dark, one could only make out the outline of hedges and lined trees, but no real detail. The night was chilly, but Belle didn't feel cold with the arm of her Beast wrapped protectively around her.
"Today felt… normal almost," Belle said, taking a seat on the bench that lined the stone railing, already adorned with jardinière's filled with chrysanthemums, celosias, and dianthus'. The moon was half full, and without a cloud in sight, filled the balcony with its light, and millions of stars could be seen above the treeline.
Beast sat down beside her, their knees touching as he placed his paw on the bench between them. She rested her hand atop his, and looked into his eyes, finding warmth and comfort in the deep pools of blue that always seemed to pour into her everything he was feeling.
"I suppose it did. But what exactly does a normal day even look like?" he asked, a small frown creasing his heavy brow.
"You and me together. I think that's what normal needs to look like." She scooted closer to him, moving her hand from atop his paw on to his thigh while he wrapped his arm around her back and rested the paw on her hip.
He smiled at her, and they could hear the musicians start up another song, this one by Domenico Scarlatti. "I like the sound of that."
"I never want to spend another day, or moment without you by my side, ma douce bête. You are truly everything I could have ever wished for in a companion. I want to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake to your fingers running through my hair every morning. I need to know that nothing life throws at us can ever tear us apart again. I know we've not spoken about us much these past few days, and I'm sure that's been for my benefit, but I need you to know that this is where I want to be. More than anything, I want to be your wife. Will you…"
He'd stared at her as she spoke, unable to do anything but listen to the sweet melody she sang to him. It seemed to follow the flow of the music beyond the doors. As she started to pose the question that had been on his mind, he panicked and coughed to interrupt her before she could finish.
"No, Belle, don't," he spat out in a much harsher tone than he'd intended.
Her face fell and her eyes dimmed, filling with moisture. "Oh wait no, I don't mean…" he grumbled in frustration as the proper words refused to surface.
He took a deep breath as he raked his free paw through his mane before grasping her hand in it and slipping off the bench on to bended knee. "I was hoping to do this properly this time. Please don't steal my moment." He grinned up at her, and the moisture that had gathered in her eyes slipped out, but for an entirely different reason then why it had formed in the first place.
"Ma belle, you somehow turned a beast into a man. You saw through the gruff exterior to the soul within and coaxed out of me a tenderness and generosity I never knew I was capable of. Because of you, I am free from the demons that haunted me since my parents died. You brought light, and laughter, and joy into my life. We have faced more peril and adventure than anyone deserves, and yet through it all we find one another. I admire your strength, your intelligence, and your sharp wit. I love the gentle way you treat others, and the kindness that flows out of you without thought or intent. You are far and beyond anything I could have ever envisioned in a Queen to stand by my side. The only thing that shines greater than your beauty, is your heart. I would be humbled and honored if you would be joined with me for now and forever. Belle, will you marry me?"
The tears now flowed freely down her face, and for once they were tears of joy. Unable to make any sound come out of her throat, Belle settled for simply nodding her head vigorously and throwing her arms around his neck, peppering his cheeks with kisses.
Beast leaned back on his haunches, holding Belle tightly to him, stroking her hair and placing a few kisses of his own on her head.
With exuberance, he hoisted them both to their feet and his face lit with the excitement of a child.
"Come with me. There's something I need to show you."
Taking her hand, he pulled the stunned and unprepared Belle back into the ballroom, out the door, down several halls, and further into the depths of the castle than she ever remembered treading, until they came to a narrow, dark staircase that spiraled up into a high tower.
Grabbing a candelabra off a nearby side table, Beast pulled her up into the stairwell. "Follow me," he said. The excitement in his voice hadn't abated in the slightest, and her heart felt as if it could pound out of her chest in anticipation.
"You're not going to lock me in a different tower, are you?" she heard tumble out of her mouth, and he stopped suddenly, sending her crashing into him.
He grabbed her to his side, ensuring she didn't go careening down the stone steps. His face pursed in displeasure and glared down at her for a moment. Then his brow rose in humor and he scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder, carrying her up the remaining flights, to the top of the turret. His jovial laugh echoed off the walls of the tower, mixing with her shrieks of surprise and amusement.
"I ought to take you back down and up into the prison tower instead for that cheek." He gently set her down on the landing, his eyes bright with mirth. "But instead, I'm going to let you choose something from in here." The stone door slowly moved as the tower shook a little.
He stepped into the small room, leading with the candelabra, his hand firmly on hers, drawing her into the room. He looked back to catch a glimpse of her face as she looked around the glittering tower, her eyes wide, mouth hanging open but speechless. It wasn't quite the same reaction she'd had when first entering the library, but it was close, and he delighted in the fact that he could still surprise her.
He guided her over to the special pillow that displayed the various rings. "I didn't want to pick for you. Thought it best if you choose your own engagement ring. Which do you like?"
His voice was low and soothing, and she squeezed his paw, still unable to make any words come out of her mouth.
Belle's eyes crossed over the beautiful creations before her, and her breath hitched as she focused on one in particular. It was gold with what looked like leaves etched into the band that went around the entire circle. Small diamonds dotted where the leaves met, and a three carat, round, perfectly cut, dark red ruby sat in the center. She stared at it for a moment, then looked up into his beautiful eyes.
He smiled at her and reached down to pluck the delicate ring from its holder. "I had a feeling this would be the one." The smile turned into a half grin as he took her left hand, placing a sweet kiss across the knuckles before flexing her fingers, gliding the ring onto her third finger. It fit perfectly.
She held her hand out, examining the glittering jewel that adorned her slender finger. "I love you," breathlessly fell from her lips, and her eyes welled up with tears of happiness once more.
"I love you too." He hugged her to his side and kissed her head. "All of this is ours. And before you say what I think you're going to say, I know that, and yes, I agree with you, but no, we can't. Some of it has to remain, and as long as it does, you may as well take pleasure in wearing what you like to the more formal events. Like the Harvest Ball."
"Alright. But is it possible to add to the Ball a little?" Her lips curled in a devilish smile that told him she had already made up her mind about whatever her request was going to be.
"What did you have in mind?" he cautiously asked, knowing to refuse would be at his own peril.
She grinned up at him, a new found glimmer in her eyes. "A wedding?"
He laughed, the reverberations filling her soul with more happiness and contentment than she felt she deserved.
"Cogsworth might have a stroke, but I'm sure we can accommodate your request."
She elbowed him in the ribs at the jest and pursed her lips. "Now who's being cheeky?"
Belle sat at the front of the church, feeling a little numb. Nearly the entire village, and many from Montiquent, filled the little church. The main ceremony was complete and now student after student stood up to say kind words about their departed teacher; what an impact he and his school had had on their lives, and how without him they never would have discovered a joy for learning. After the second student, Belle's composure broke, and she released soft sobs as they continued. When they finished, she tried to stand up and say a few words herself, but the lump in her throat was too immovable and imposing to allow for it. Beast instead read the few passages from Plato's Phaedo that she had chosen.
Beast stood in front of the congregation, adjusted his jacket a little, then started:
"I remember the strange feeling which came over me at being with him. For I could hardly believe that I was present at the death of a friend, and therefore I did not pity him... his mien and his language were so noble and fearless in the hour of death that to me he appeared blessed. I thought that in going to the other world he could not be without a divine call, and that he would be happy, if any man ever was, when he arrived there, and therefore I did not pity him as might seem natural at such a time... I was pleased, and I was also pained, because I knew that he was soon to die, and this strange mixture of feeling was shared by us all; we were laughing and weeping by turns.
"...As the true philosophers are ever studying death, to them, of all men, death is the least terrible. Look at the matter in this way: how inconsistent of them to have been always enemies of the body, and wanting to have the soul alone, and when this is granted to them, to be trembling and repining; instead of rejoicing at their departing to that place where, when they arrive, they hope to gain that which in life they loved (and this was wisdom), and at the same time to be rid of the company of their enemy. Many a man has been willing to go to the world below in the hope of seeing there an earthly love, or wife, or son, and conversing with them. And will he who is a true lover of wisdom, and is persuaded in like manner that only in the world below he can worthily enjoy her, still repine at death? Will he not depart with joy? Surely he will, my friend, if he be a true philosopher. For he will have a firm conviction that there only, and nowhere else, he can find wisdom in her purity. And if this be true, he would be very absurd, as I was saying, if he were to fear death."
After the service ended, and they lowered the wooden casket into the ground in the graveyard behind the church, a stout man with graying black hair and kind brown eyes approached Belle. He was an old school friend of Edmund's who saw the notice in the University of Paris leaflet. They both studied Greek Philosophy, and each shared a passion for teaching. His name was Jonathan Fletcher, and he was several years older than Edmund had been. He and Belle spoke of their mutual devotion to learning, and he was impressed with her vast knowledge and ability to converse at such an elevated level. Jonathan told her of the letters he and Edmund exchanged over the years and even mentioned that their friend had spoken of her in the most recent correspondence.
As their conversation wound down, he asked if there was anything he could do to be of assistance. Belle hesitantly broached the subject of needing a teacher to lead the St. James school. His face brightened at the offer and he gladly accepted. He and Edmund had been of such a similar mind and teaching philosophy that she was confident the school would be in very capable hands. He welcomed her to continue assisting in lessons, when she was ready, if it was something she still desired to do.
Once plans were settled, she took him around to introduce him to the parents, children, and other villagers, including her own folks and her fiancé.
All those attending from Montiquent, who needed concealing, used a charmed stone—since it was expected that some people from outside the region would attend. Notices had been placed in several publications in Paris and Meaux, where Edmund had resided in his early days.
Once she'd received all the condolences and heartfelt sympathy, she and Beast went to Edmunds to finish packing up. The only things that left were the simple couch, and one last box she'd filled with Edmund's more personal treasures; including his correspondence, the materials his father had saved, all the childhood mementos, and a few of the items students had made for him. These, and the couch, were going to be loaded and taken back to the castle for Belle. All the books and teaching materials were transferred to the school the day before, while most of the furniture was being left for M. Fletcher. Everything else had been given away to those in need, just as Edmund would have wanted.
The hardest part of this process was stepping back into the school and seeing the half completed library project she and Edmund had been working on. The crate of books Beast purchased for them lay open with a few volumes spread out over the nearest table to the bookshelf Edmund had built. It looked as if he would walk through the door any minute and give her that sweet smile he always had for her, then get back to work.
Her memories of that day were hazy, but she noticed the pained look on her beloved's face when they stepped inside. But as quickly as it came, she watched him push it aside as he wrapped an arm around her, offering comfort and support, as he'd been doing all day.
She tried smiling at Beast, but she couldn't manage it. Her eyes drifted around the room and a flood of visions played across her mind of all the hours spent here with her friend. Her friend who had died protecting her.
Collapsing on the ground next to the bookshelf, she clung to Beast as she released her grief, allowing herself to wallow in the pain and anguish. Today was the day to let it all go, as best she could, so she didn't even try holding back. Beast's large paw stroked her back and her hair as she cried. He didn't say anything, and she even saw a few tears fall down his face too. Whether they were for Edmund, or for her, she couldn't be sure, but that he could feel her grief somehow helped.
Once drained of tears, she took a deep cleansing breath, and the two of them applied themselves to the task of organizing the shelf. They added in the books from Edmund's personal collection and found storage places for the wide array of supplies that came from the teacher's house.
Beast walked out first, leaving her to say a final goodbye on her own.
She picked up a book of poetry written by Edmund and lovingly caressed the pages. With a last look around, she clutched the book to her chest before stepping into the bright light outside. Beast was waiting for her by the wagon that was hitched to Philippe, and this time she managed a smile for him as he handed her up to the driver's perch.
It was done. She could feel Edmund's gratitude and approval in the choices she'd made, and knew he was at peace. Now she could focus on her fast approaching wedding and try to find joy in all that life had left to offer her.
Sorry for the delay. I got my vaccine, and it totally wiped me out for most of the week! Also, this chapter needed some restructuring that took some time to figure out so it would flow a lot better. A big thank you to WhiteButterfly for betaing this chapter! You're amazing, and I'm so glad we linked up!