Episode: Season 15 - Carry On Pt. 8
His hand was lukewarm, growing slightly colder by the minute, clutched tightly in my own. A tiny smile split my face as I glanced down at our intertwined fingers. The soft, supple skin of adulthood had slowly shifted with age into wrinkles and age spots. Oh, how we had changed! But we had been oh-so-happy, me and my Sam. We had lived our lives happily and fully, just as Dean had wanted. And even though I had been scared to live a life without him in it, I found myself loving Sam so dearly and deeply as the years went by.
"I love you, Sammy," I whispered softly to him, squeezing his hand gently while, with the other, my fingertips caressed the white stubble on his face, "It's okay, you can go now."
Leaning down towards him, I pressed my lips so gently against his. And when we finally broke away, there was a sad smile on his face. Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw his hazel-brown orbs slowly close one final time, the heart monitor flat-lining instantly.
Yasmin, my now 43-year-old daughter, put her arm around me while I wept bitterly. It had been his time, I knew. But no matter how much loss in life I had suffered - we had all suffered - it never got any easier. No, the only comfort now, as I sat there with Yasmin, my 42-year-old son, Roman, and my 21-year-old son, Dean, surrounded on all sides by my grandchildren...was that Sam was finally with Dean.
My own death didn't come like theirs had. It wasn't tragic and untimely like Dean's or long-expected and bittersweet like Sam's. No, when Death came and took me by the hand, it was peaceful, perfect.
I crawled into bed one night, snuggling down into soft sheets in which Sam's scent still clung no matter how many years he had been gone from me. My brown eyes lingered on a photo of myself and my boys on the nightstand, all three of us smiling happily - our carefree days. Tears threatened to spill over wrinkled cheeks and I sucked in a shuddering breath to keep them at bay. I missed them so much...
I suppose someone on high heard me that night, heard my wishes, my silent prayers. For with the red-and-orange tinted breaking of the dawn just over the skyline...I left this world.
When I awoke once more, I was no longer on Earth. Although it did look very much like a place I had been to once before... No, this felt different. I knew that instantly even as my eyes flicked over the towering pine trees, white-capped mountains, flowing brooks and wildlife that encompassed this place.
I began to walk, not knowing which direction I was headed in, and found myself standing just across from a trickling brook nearby. Glancing down into the clear blue liquid, I couldn't help but gasp, my hands instantly finding my face. I was...I was young again! Where there had once been wrinkles had been replaced with the soft, clear skin I used to possess, long, flowing ebony hair falling around my face in a dark cloud. A light laugh burst free from my lips, taking in the sight of my old Charmed t-shirt and cut-off jeans, chipped black nail polish at the ends of my fingertips. I looked just like I did at 21!
Twirling around to get a full view of myself, my grin widened. If I was being honest, I missed being young. But a sweet sound hit my ears then, knocking me completely free of my reverie. It was a sound I hadn't heard in so, so long...
The engine revved again, much louder this time, the sound breaking the silence of the forest I was in. My feet began to move before I even knew where the sound would lead. Faster, faster, I egged myself on until finally, I burst free of the trees onto a wide asphalt road. Stepping out onto the concrete, my Converse-clad feet crunching a twig as I did, my eyes landed on a sight that sucked all the air from my lungs.
Idling just around the bend in the road was a sleek black '67 Impala and leaning up against it was a tall man with a huge smile plastered on his face.
It took only seconds for me to race down the asphalt and straight into a pair of warm arms that wrapped around me tightly, picking me up off the ground and twirling me until I broke out laughing. My fingers found soft locks at the nape of his neck and I kissed him deeply before caressing his face.
"Hey, Park," Sam greeted me softly, my hands sliding down to rest on his sides.
As always, he towered over me by at least a foot. But unlike the last time I had seen him, his hair, which had always been shaggy and unkempt, was a chestnut-brown and the white beard was gone, replaced by clean-shaven cheeks. His hazel-brown eyes sparkled with happiness and I couldn't help but let a smile light up my face at this particular change.
"You're not old anymore," I pointed out cheerfully.
Sam just shook his head at me, laughing.
"Seriously? That's the first thing you're gonna say to me? Have you grown up at all, Parker?" he teased, arching an eyebrow at me mockingly.
I grinned up at him, shrugging my shoulders, "Physically? Yes. Mentally? Never!"
He chuckled at my response before sweeping me up into another tight hug, strands of his hair tickling my face.
I sighed into his shoulder, memories washing over me in waves as I admitted softly to my husband, "I missed you too, Sammy."
He loosened his grip then after a moment, looking down at me with a strange, mischievous glint in his eyes.
I tilted my head to the side, "What is it?"
He bit his lip, gesturing down the road, "There's somebody who's been waiting on you."
My brown eyes widened, feeling my heart begin to race faster in my chest. No...it had been so long now...
Whipping my head to the side, it was only then that I noticed a figure leaned against the railing of the bridge several feet from us. I sucked in a sharp breath, glancing up at Sam. Smiling, he nodded to me once, releasing me from his embrace as my feet began to take me down the road.
I could feel myself shaking, with nervousness or excitement, I couldn't tell which. Those thoughts, however, were shaken free of my mind within a split second. All of a sudden, the figure on the bridge turned in my direction. And I caught a sight I hadn't seen in forever, a sight I had been waiting on ever since he'd been gone. A huge smile split my face, a tiny laugh escaping my mouth as he sent me a sweet smile in return.
I ran then, as fast as my legs could carry me across that bridge. My heart pounded in my chest, so loud and so fast that if I hadn't been dead already, I'd worry for my health. But none of that mattered the moment by body collided into his, strong arms instantly wrapping around my waist as my hands cupped his face.
Our lips crashed together so instantly, so quickly in that moment. I kissed him hard and Dean returned it just as hungrily, feeling all the pent-up love and passion we held for the other delivered in that one single kiss. A kiss that had been long-awaited all of this time we'd been apart.
As we finally broke away, part of me wanted to cry my heart out, seeing him again. But here? In this place? All I could do was smile, feeling my heart soar in my chest. Those candy-apple green eyes bored back into my cocoa orbs, resonating the same deep, all-encompassing love that was certainly reflected in my own.
"What took you so long, short-stack?" he teased, bringing back that old nickname that I had learned to love so much.
I laughed, shrugging as I ran my fingers through my husband's hair lovingly, "What can I say? I like to take my time, dirt-bag."
Dean let out a hearty laugh, resting his forehead against mine. Before either of us had a chance to say more, though, an old familiar song floated out onto the bridge - one I hadn't heard in a long time. Glancing to our left, we saw Sam leaned up against Baby's fender with the stereo blasting, smiling over at the two of us.
"I can't help but love you, even though I try not to..."
Turning to face Dean once more, I caressed his jaw gently. No matter what I did, I would always be so deeply and passionately in love with Dean Winchester.
"I can't help but want you, I know that I'd die without you..."
To think I almost had, for all of those years. If it hadn't been for the family Dean was leaving behind, I knew I surely would have. He had always been a lifeline in my world of chaos.
Dean's hand found mine then and I smiled in confusion...until I realized what he was doing. A giggle escaped from between parted lips as he began to move us across the bridge, leading me as he had done so many years before.
"I can't help but be wrong in the dark 'cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts..."
Lifting our hands to spin me around, strands of ebony hair flowed out behind me like ribbons. Our bodies moved together perfectly, one hand on my waist and the other leading. I felt so light in that moment, my heart bursting with happiness.
"I can't help but want oceans to part 'cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts..."
As I spun back around to face him, my eyes locked on candy-apple green. In that moment I knew, as Dean's lips crashed into mine once more, that I was exactly where I belonged. And no matter how long it had taken or how many arguments we'd had, no matter how tangled and chaotic our lives had been for all of these years we had lived...
Dean Winchester had won me in our war of hearts.
Dean Winchester had won me in our war of hearts