Nothing Arrived- Villagers

Till Forever Falls Apart- Ashe and FINNEAS

I had forgotten what it meant to run. What it felt like to feel true terror from a physical and material danger instead of the abstracts of futures and feelings that I had been so focused on.

But I was in reality again, and there was certainly no turning back. The plane was in the air, Alice sleeping behind us and looking pale and small in her baggy sweats. I was sure I didn't look much better- I was doing my best to keep my skin covered from the fluorescents in the airport once we landed in Jacksonville.

But luck would have it that it was the dead of night. There were only a few other travelers at that hour- one woman with a briefcase and seemingly fake glasses who was unnecessarily loud while discussing stock prices on the phone, and a man in a rumpled suit quietly whispered words of adoration to a pregnant wife, though I could smell perfume and sex on him through the cloud of antiseptic smell.

"What are y-you th-thinking?" Edward asked quietly as he twisted the strap of the bags over his shoulder. They weren't heavy- only clothes and cash- but I wished he would let me carry them. Though I supposed he was right to not let me. I had Alice draped over my back, and we didn't want to draw more attention than necessary.

"I think I'm overthinking."

"What's new?" he teased, the ghost of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips that I couldn't manage to return.

"I'm… I'm concerned we could have been overheard in Portland," I said softly, surveying the bright, empty airport as if one of our antagonists could somehow appear at the end of the terminal.

"Wouldn't y-you have b-been able t-to t-tell?"

I thought back to those moments after I had peeled through the airport parking lot. Plane engines make quite a bit of noise, and there was plenty of interference that could have drowned out the careful steps. "Not if they kept very quiet."

"S-so you d-don't want to s-stay here?"

"It would take them quite a long time to follow us here," I whispered doubtfully, more to myself than to Edward. "There's no way either of them could manage a commercial flight, and I doubt they have the funds to charter their own plane."

Edward shifted his weight from foot to foot, and again I just wanted to take the bags from him. "S-s-so th-they have to r-run to keep up w-with us?"

"It would be more straightforward than driving, and they wouldn't have to stop for gas as much," I explained. "On the other hand, they're probably more confined by the daylight than we are. At least I can control myself, and we can always rent a car with heavily tinted windows.

"S-s-so where do we g-go f-from here?" Edward asked, not an inkling of doubt in his voice.

A thought came to me as quickly as I dismissed it, and I resettled Alice on my back, careful not to grip her arms or legs too roughly. The best course of action would be to get out of the country- distance and water. The glimmering blue water and white sandy beaches of Isle Esme came to mind immediately, and I let myself entertain the thought of Edward, shirtless and smiling with salt drying on his skin and water shimmering off his abdomen…

"Could you check the departures board?" I asked Edward distractedly, then handed him the little folder of our forged passports and money and credit cards. "Just get the first domestic flight out of here that isn't on the west coast, okay? We need to use the restroom."

I spun around and headed straight for the bathroom on the other side of the gate while Edward quickly walked out of the security checkpoint and to the first ticket desk he could find. I heard the attendant check for flights and skeptically check that his identification matched the black matte credit card that was inscribed with his name.

I wished we could have gone south. It would have been even better to put an ocean between us and them, but Isle Esme was such a refuge from the world for us. And I had been wanting to take Edward there from the moment I first saw him. It had always been more a locale for a couple's getaway than a family excursion, and Edward had finally come to me.

But I didn't want to take Alice that far. For her sake, I didn't even want to get on another flight, but it was better to create more confusion for James and Victoria.

Alice was slumped in a chair, wrapped in a new jacket and dressed in a pair of jeans that fit me snugly but were almost comically loose on my slim, elfish friend. It had been weeks since she had worn them, but I still thought she looked wrong without her signature fairy wings, or some other equally absurd accessory that would look ridiculous on anyone else.

Even now, dressed normally but passed deeply into the world of the unconscious, I missed her liveliness. The pallor of her skin was too pale and missing that human flush, the bright green of her eyes that seemed the dance with a distant and mischievous humor that always made me feel like I was missing out on some kind of inside joke between Alice and herself.

I brushed my fingers along her hairline, tucking aside the dark hair that had matted there with sweat. The moment we were somewhere safe, I would clean and brush her hair and make sure she looked up to her own standards, though she hadn't been keeping up much with them herself as of late.

Edward came back with a breakfast sandwich from the only shop open yet inside the airport and a small murder/mystery paperback for me. I hadn't read it before- those books all had essentially the same plot- but I murmured my thanks and tucked my head into the hollow of his clavicle and flipped through the pages absentmindedly while we waited for our flight to board.

He ate his food in silence, then rested his head on mine as his fingers curled around my leg, just above my knee. Even through the fabric, his skin was intensely warm. I quietly recapped the plot for him and read through two chapters while he half-listened until the cabin doors opened and we followed the shuffle of tired travelers onto the plane.

Edward was more awake now, with the sun barely peeking through the dense clouds as we took off. He wasn't as interested in the book anymore, and prompted me to spend the first several minutes explaining to him the series of unfortunate events that led to us huddled together on cheap vinyl seats flying over the flat planes of a Florida swamp.

Edward had the tray in front of him down, his elbows bending it down as he held his head in his hands, fingers pulling angrily at his hair. I glanced around to make sure none of the passengers were listening in, but everyone seemed to either be plugging their complimentary headphones in or settling down to sleep. The flight attendant was at the front of the plane mixing drinks for some of the other business class passengers to partake in.

I turned in my seat to visually check in on Alice behind us. Her heartbeat was still steady and even, and almost perfectly in time with her brother's but only an eighth of a beat behind. Her dark hair was plastered to her forehead, her cheek pressed to the cool plastic of the plane. I was genuinely surprised that we had been allowed on the planes with her appearing to be completely passed out, especially with all of the flight crackdowns and tightened regulations that came after 9/11. It was undoubtedly helpful to have that innate ability to influence humans, but the attendants and security seemed far more lax at such an early hour. I didn't have much of a metric to compare it to, though- we had our own plane and usually flew privately.

I looked back to Edward, who was still massaging his fingers into his scalp. "That w-was c-complicated," he murmured, putting my thoughts into words while picking at lint on the sleeve of his grey sweater. He stared into the fizzing surface of the soda as it sloshed while the cabin tilted in our ascent.

"I don't think they'll be able to follow us now," I said softly, trying to give him some form of comfort.

Edward peered at me through his fingers, a brow arched skeptically.

"I don't think they could manage being in a plane," I explained, "It's too enclosed and confined, and they're both very young. Even our family doesn't care for flying commercial because of the smell."

"Is it bad?" Edward asked, sniffing as if he could possibly detect anything of note. I could hear the congestion that was aggravated by tears.

I smiled. "No," I whispered, inhaling deeply and letting the overwhelming scents burn my throat not unpleasantly. I swallowed back the venom that began to flood my mouth. "It's very good, actually. The recycled air exacerbates the smell."

He nodded in understanding as his head returned to his hands with his nails digging into his scalp. "Of all the th-things that c-could have gone wr-wrong…" he whispered, trailing off but exasperation was clear.

"We're a lucky pair, aren't we?" I joked darkly, drawing a hint of a smile from Edward, the first in a long time.

But then he sighed heavily and rubbed his fists into his eyes. "I c-can't b-believe it's them."

My teeth slid against the hard skin of my bottom lip, not even giving way under the pressure of my sharp incisors. "It explains why I couldn't find them."

His heart pounded in my head. "You were l-looking for them?" he gasped, his thick brows knitting together in concern.

"Of course," I nodded, fixing my eyes at the closed plastic that covered the window. It hurt to look at Edward like this- knowing how much I had let him down, the degree to which I had failed him. "I was assuming they had died, and I guess in a way I was right."

"Do th-they know wh-who I am? Wh-who Alice is?" He asked, and before I could answer, he added, "Do th-they r-remember?"

I shrugged. "It's hard to say. Some of us have clearer memories than others. Carlisle doesn't even remember what his mother looked like, but Rose can name every person in her social circle from before, and how they were ranked in their social hierarchy." It was entirely possible that they didn't have any tangible memories of Edward or Alice, but were rather acting on some latent instinct. I hoped that was the case, because the alternative was so much worse.

"He had t-to know," Edward whispered. "The w-way he l-looked at me… I know." A chill seemed to run down his spine, and he inhaled sharply and hugged his arms around his body. I reached over and rested a hand on his knee.

"Everyone else will take care of him," I said softly, wary with my words with humans in front and across the aisle from us. I wanted to promise Edward that Emmett would rip James limb from limb while Rose threw his entrails over a fire, but that might draw attention.

"What happened, exactly?" Edward asked finally, looking down at me with a pleading expression and a depth of despair in his gaze I had never seen before. His brows were pulled together and the corners of his mouth turned down, and worry lined his forehead like an engraving I feared was permanent.

I sighed and slumped into my seat, turning on my side to curl into him as much as the confines of the seating allowed. He slouched down in the seat and reclined it back so our heads were level and our faces just inches apart.

I was, just for a moment, dazzled and distracted from his question. His breath was warm and sweet as it fanned across my face, his eyes a piercing green that I could stare into for an eternity and never be bored. But he blinked and broke our stare for just a fraction of a second, and I was reminded of the severity of our situation.

He listened intently as I told him about the details the private investigators had dug out- the burnt car abandoned in a seedy neighborhood just outside of Seattle and all evidence washed away with weeks of heavy rain

I swallowed uncomfortably and waited while the flight attendant passed slowly with a drink cart. She offered us a thin blanket with a kind smile, and tucked another around the still-sleeping Alice behind us. Edward huddled into the blanket, pulling up another barrier to protect himself from my leeching coldness, and his brows pulled together when I told him that I had actually encountered James and Victoria months before, not knowing who they were.

"I didn't know who they were. I've only seen Alice's sketches of them, but in the chaos they managed to get away. Victoria took off right away, and Esme and the woman we had met, Charlotte, took off after her. James had been staring at me, and everyone else was occupied, but I couldn't help because of what happened." I gestured to my side, and Edward reached a hand over so his fingers splayed across my ribs, an inch from where the newborn had managed to crush me. There was no scarring or lingering pain, of course, but Edward stared at the area intently as if he could still see some kind of mark through the grey sweatshirt.

"How did he g-get away?" Edward asked finally, prompting me to continue.

I told him more details about the actual fight, more than I had before when he asked me to tell him everything. His fingers curled into my side and his knuckles whitened with how much his fingers were digging into my unmovable skin as I recounted how James had surprised us and launched himself at me, wrapping his hands around my neck and leaning down as if to begin tearing at my throat.

"It never would have happened," I promised. I slipped my hand through the sleeve of his sweater and rubbed my thumb along the tight tendon of his wrist, trying to relax his grip on my side before he bruised a finger. "Carlisle was right next to me, and he tore him off of me in just a second. We were just… taken by surprise for a moment, but things to be making more sense now."

"How?" Edward asked, his hold on me loosening but his hand still firmly on me with his fingers between my ribs.

"He could have nipped at me. He had the time, but instead it seemed like he was smelling me. Now I'm wondering if it was something more. He could have either been smelling you or possibly even Alice on me, and some subconscious, animalistic part of him recognized it, or, and I believe this is more probable, he realized there was something different about me."

"Your sh-shield?" he accurately guessed.

"Exactly."

"I always th-thought of it as s-s-something invisible. So others can s-s-sense it?"

"No, no." I shook my head. "It is invisible. And the only one who can actually sense it, or at least the absence of something else, is Eleazar. He's the one in Alaska who Carlisle and I met in Italy, who can sense other's abilities," I explained when I saw Edward's quizzical look.

"Then how did J-James-"

"He's got an ability, too," I said. "He's something called a tracker."

Before I could go on, Edward sighed heavily as his lips curled into a grimace. "Of c-course he is. He's g-going t-to track us t-to the ends of the earth. He's always b-been r-relentless, and I'm s-s-sure nothing's changed n-now. If anything, he's worse."

"He can't track us, though."

Edward continued on as if he hadn't heard me, his voice raising to a deeper whisper, though I doubted anyone around us could hear anyways. Almost everyone seemed to be asleep, and those who were not had headphones in. "You sh-should have just l-let him have me. L-let this all be over. He's not g-going to g-give up, and maybe if he has m-me, he'll let Alice g-go."

I huffed indignantly, choosing to shove the absolute terror down and replace it with exasperation. It was better than having a panic attack on a commercial plane over the idea of Edward ceasing to exist, and then mulling over the fact that he was perfectly ready to give himself over to that monster.

"I have a shield, remember?" I said with an edge to my tone that seemed to make Edward sheepish.

"You can s-s-stretch it over us, c-can't you?"

"For as long as I need to," I confirmed.

Edward sighed heavily and leaned into me, his head resting on top of mine. "S-s-so how d-did he know that there was s-s-something d-different about you?" he asked, continuing his original line of questioning and resetting the conversation. His volunteering to self-sacrifice was still an itching thought in the back of my mind.

"Trackers aren't uncommon," I explained. "I've met a few, and they all seem to function in the same basic way. They can sense some kind of personal signature in each individual, and have an internal system to be able to find them. Some are stronger than others, but James is young. He hasn't had the time or control to be able to sharpen his ability to a point where we need to be worried."

"S-s-so you just want m-me t-to not be worried?" he whispered sarcastically, and I rolled my eyes.

"As if that's even possible," I mumbled, sure to be loud enough that he would hear me.

Edward groaned and leaned back in his seat so my head slipped down to his shoulder. I tucked my legs under me in the small seat and curled into him. I knew he wasn't actually upset at me- his hand was cupping the crown of my head and he was twisting my hair around his fingers. And even if he was upset with me, he had every right to be. No matter which was I looked at all this, I was to blame for the situation we were in. I brought him to that field, I left him exposed, I drew the nomads to us. I was a magnet for that danger and drama and I always had been, and I should have been more vigilant.

I didn't even notice that I had been gripping the armrest, but the metal twisted with a screech under my hand. Edward slipped his arm around me and took my hand in his, his fingers warm and pure comfort distilled as he hugged me to him.

The plane jostled with turbulence and Edward's breath hitched.

"I've n-never b-been on a plane b-before," he said softly, his eyes fluttering closed as the cabin bumped again.

"This is normal," I promised. We would be touching down in Chicago in just a few minutes, and I knew that peace would be unlikely to find us from then on. Edward seemed to be contented with the silence for the moment, and I shifted to press myself further into his side, my ear on the pulse point of his collarbone. The rhythm of his heart was a steady presence, and a calming sound. "One day we'll get on a plane and go somewhere good," I promised, trying to distract him the cabin rattling. "Like Europe or South Africa. Maybe even Antarctica, if you want to see penguins up close."

"Arizona," Edward whispered, eyes still closed.

"What?"

"I want to g-go to Arizona s-s-some day."

"You have some proclivity for cacti that I didn't know about?" I teased.

"I want to s-s-see the Grand Canyon."

I smiled sadly and squeezed his hand softly. "I've actually never been," I admitted.

"Really?" Edward seemed surprised, and at least momentarily distracted from the nightmare ahead of us.

"The weather isn't exactly conducive to, you know," I looked down at my bare, stark white hands, with his fingers folded between them. He was pale, too, but the difference between us was plainly obvious. I could see the warm flush under his skin that came with life, the trembling pulse as his blood rushed just under the surface in a complex system of in and out as it deposited oxygen and returned back to his chest.

"You've b-been to other s-s-sunny p-places before, though."

"Mostly outside of the country, though. And in a different time," I added. It wasn't the same back when I had circled the globe by myself. Humans weren't as densely populated, and it was rather easy to skirt around cities in the global south and not have to hide from the sun. "Otherwise, it's just private locations, and even then I don't usually go."

"Why d-don't you usually g-go? They l-leave you behind?" He didn't say it in a way that imparted any judgement, just as an inquiry of curiosity.

"I've told you this before," I said gently, nudging him in the side playfully to tease him about being a typical man in his forgetfulness, but in reality I was grateful for the distraction- if not for me, for Edward. "Carlisle and Esme, and Rose and Emmett like to travel together, as couples, when they get the chance to. It's usually summer when that chance comes along, so they'll find some remote island somewhere to soak in the sun."

Edward frowned so deeply it was almost comical, lines deepening into his usually smooth skin to curve around his mouth. "I'm s-s-sorry for what I s-s-said."

"What?" I was a little thrown by the change of topic, or, at least, I wasn't following his train of thought.

"For as l-long as it's what's g-good for you, I will be there. I shouldn't have s-s-said that you should j-just let J-J-James have me."

"No offence, Edward," I said with a smile, curling under him and tucking my face into the crook of his warm neck, "But no matter what you said, I wouldn't 'just let him have you' anyways. We're a team, and you're kind of stuck with me now." I pressed my lips gently to the vein that was pulsing just below the thin surface of his soft skin. "Besides, I can't imagine a way in which you're not good for me."

He scoffed under his breath, but pulled me closer to him, his arm wrapped around me and his other hand cradling the side of my face so it felt like he was protecting me instead of the other way around. I didn't have it in me to argue with his doubt, not when he was holding me so dearly.

The plane bumped along again, and the cabin shifted forward as we began our descent down to O'Hare. Edward's fingers dug into my skin, but that was the only sign of his reaction to the landing of his first time flying.

We had waited for most of the people on the half-full flight to trickle down the aisle before we got up. I swung Alice onto my back, and Edward was tired enough that he didn't even bother to argue. He slipped the duffel bags from the overhead compartment and followed me off the plane, his fingers brushing gently across Alice's back. Her head lolled forward so her forehead was flush against my shoulder, and her hands were cool and clammy.

In contrast, Edward's were warm and comforting, and we walked hand-in-hand out of the airport and straight to the car rental area, drawing only a few impolite stares. I quickly pulled the hood over my head, trying to shade my face from the shining morning sun filtering through the massive open windows.

I persuaded them to give us the darkest tinted windows they had available, and after flashing some cash, the tired rental agent also helped us search for some kind of house available immediately. Edward and I quietly discussed our options, and the agent seemed too exhausted to pay any attention, but we turned from the desk and I pitched my voice at the lowest he could possibly hear me at.

"We have two options," I sighed, biting at my bottom lip as I measured out the pros and cons mentally.

"Which are?" Edward was stooping down, leaning into me so his breath fanned across my face and blew away any comprehensive thoughts I had for a moment. His eyes were dilated, and the adrenaline was making his blood smell sweeter than normal.

"Into the city," I started, glancing back at the rental agent who was absentmindedly folding and unfolding a paperclip while barely keeping her eyes open. I hoped she wasn't going to drive herself home when her shift was over. "It may be safer for us. Get Alice somewhere quicker, and there's the relative safety in fading into a city. The protection of having people around us, makes it more difficult to navigate, especially for… younger ones, and masks our tracks."

"Or?"

"Find somewhere more isolated. It could be a longer trip, since we'd have to drive out of the city and suburbs, and we'd be out there alone. Nothing to hide our scents or signatures, just us and nature."

Edward stared at me skeptically, his brows pulled together so the little wrinkle between them deepened with confusion. "I d-don't hear any d-downsides about g-going to the city?"

I looked down at our feet, at the white tile bright from the fluorescent lighting. It was hard to look at him, and I felt the piece of me that was so attached to him tear a little bit. It was just a fraction, microscopic, but it was there.

"We could put other people in danger. If they happen to find us, they could hurt people getting to us," I whispered, my voice small.

"It s-s-seems like you've already m-made up your m-mind."

"I'm sorry," I said smally, so quiet I wondered if Edward could even hear me.

Edward shook his head, the long locks of bronze hair that were tucked behind his ears shaking free with the movement. "You d-don't have to apologize f-for b-being yourself."

The drive had been long. We crossed the entire state of Chicago, and the compact rental car didn't respond to the treatment I inflicted on the gas pedal as readily as my own car, or anything Rose worked on really.

It wasn't nearly as spy-like as it all sounded. And the longer I sat, almost stolidly and unmovingly still in the driver's seat, I wondered if I was being dramatic. The whole ruse with the clothing, trying to conceal Edward's and Alice's heartbeats… And forcing my family to participate, at that. Esme and Carlisle would go along with it all without a second thought, but Emmett was sure to unleash a great deal of teasing at my expense, and I almost shuddered at the thought of Rose's glare from her anger at being inconvenienced. This would all be something we would look back on and laugh at, surely.

Then Alice moaned. It wasn't loud enough to stir Edward, who was uncomfortably sleeping beside me with his fingers entwined with mine. I glanced back at her through the rearview mirror, but there was no change that I could see nor hear, and it brought to me the reminder that I wasn't prone to dramatics in the first place, and I definitely wasn't overreacting here.

This was the pair that had abused them for years, and chased me through the woods with Alice bleeding in my arms. I could still feel the warmth of her blood on my hands and her fluttering heartbeat echoing into my chest. James had been the one pursuing us, and if his companion Laurent was to believed, nothing in the world was going to stop him from coming after us.

Once we were close to our destination, I slid the small black phone out of my duffel bag in the back seat, keeping my knees on the steering wheel so my movements wouldn't disturb Edward. I hoped for good news, but none came. Carlisle quietly told me of their race north, how they stopped at the water and waited for an attack that never came, then, leaving the car behind, set out to track if they had any followers.

The woman had appeared, Victoria, with her fiery hair setting a stark contrast against the monochromatic green backdrop. But even with Rose, Carlisle, and Esme all setting off after, she seemed to disappear in thin air and her trail went dead at the shoreline. James had never shown his face, not to Emmett either, and the entire family returned home.

I couldn't even deal with the human complications side of things, with Charlie likely growing beyond frantic and the law and the state both looking for Edward and Alice. When we made it home, I could only imagine what would be waiting for us.

"How are you, Bella?" I heard Esme ask. She was probably standing right beside Carlisle in the living room, listening intently to our conversation and nodding along while Carlisle talked.

"We're safe," I promised.

"Are you tired?" Carlisle asked.

"Not yet. I can hold it for a while longer." I had never held up my shield for this long. A few hours was the longest I had ever tested it, with no need in trying any longer, but I wasn't going to falter for even a fraction of a second now. I was going to treat James like it was Demetri tracking after us, with no margin for any error, so I wasn't even going to probe or test the band that was tightly encasing Alice and Edward.

"Not that long. You'll need to hunt eventually, and you can't bring them with you."

"I'm hoping it doesn't come to that," I admitted. The point I would need to hunt was at least a week out, though the tingling burn in my throat was omnipresent.

"Hey, it's Bella we're talking about. With that freak control of hers, maybe she can take them with her," Emmett shouted, loud enough that I was sure he was heard by every creature within a mile radius.

I ignored him. "It's not me I'm concerned about right now. It's Alice."

"How is she?"

I paused, listening in on the other room to make sure Edward was in fact sleeping now. His breathing was steady and long, and it seemed like he was actually asleep instead of just napping now.

"I don't know," I said quietly, "I've never seen anything like this before."

"Her condition hasn't changed?"

"She's stable, so far as I can tell. Blood pressure, pulse ox… all vitals are stable. But she's feverish and clammy, and sweating out whatever's afflicting her."

"You don't smell anything in her blood?" Carlisle asked in his normal, rapid-fire manner.

I answered just as quickly. "Her blood smells perfectly normal, if a little sweet."

"Glucose sweet, or adrenaline sweet?"

"Adrenaline sweet, for sure."

"What's her current state?"

"Same as when we left. Sleeping, but not quiet. She's restless but unconscious. She groans and occasionally mumbles something unintelligible."

"That's concerning."

"That's what I thought."

"You're going to have to treat her as if she was a coma patient."

I sighed quietly and tapped my fingers against the back of the phone. "I was afraid you would say that."

"At least she's breathing on her own," Carlisle offered, trying to remind me of a positive.

"Don't even think about something like that," I shuddered, imaging having to intubate little Alice.

"Do you know what you need?"

"Has the standard of care changed in the past decade?" I asked. The last time I had actively and officially worked alongside Carlisle was before I changed Rose, but I did slip in and out of his practice over the years. I hardly ever interacted with patients, since we were established in our communities as two parents and their children, but it wasn't like I was some inexperienced child.

"Not really," Carlisle said, though I could hear the hesitation in his voice. "But I've never seen anything quite like this before-"

"I doubt there's been a comparable situation," I interrupted, and Carlisle hummed an acknowledgement before continuing.

"You're going to need to take more decisive action if this goes on any longer. CT, MRI, EEG, labs, bloodwork…"

"We can make that all happen, should it come to it," I promised. "But I doubt it will. Alice is strong, and she'll make it through this. It's only been a few hours. Not even a whole day. Give it time."

Carlisle sighed, and there was a long pause with only a muted whisper that even I couldn't hear from the other side of the line, and the connection broke for a few seconds. I slipped through the sparse traffic on the highway, taking care to slow down for the cop car stationed on the other side of an overpass waiting to catch speeders. He seemed to not be having a busy day, because I could hear him distractedly flicking through radio stations instead of monitoring the speed radar.

"I admire and appreciate your optimism," he said finally.

"Le meileur des mondes possibles," I joked lightly, drawing a gracious chuckle from Carlisle.

"Let's not take it that far," he cautioned, playing into the bit.

"You don't think I would make a good Pangloss?"

"Il faut cultivar notre jardin," Carlisle quoted back to me.

I was finding some actual comfort in falling into a philosophical discussion. "At least I'm not being Manichaean."

"You were never a Bayle," he capitulated.

"Or Nietzschean," I reminded him of our shared philosophical bond over our disdain for nihilism.

"Nor that."

The conversation lulled, and I sighed unnecessarily again, trying to release some of the tension in my chest. Edward's fingers were still wrapped firmly around my own, and I reveled in the warmth his anchoring provided. With my free hand, I swerved smoothly around a row of trucks hauling produce across the state.

"Let me know if you need anything. Absolutely anything," Carlisle said, breaking the silence.

"We're here, Bella. Wherever you are, we can be there as soon as you need," Esme added.

"Just keep watch over Charlie, please," I asked. "And if you find them…" I swallowed down the saccharine venom that surged into my mouth. "Destroy them."

We said our goodbyes quickly, briefly. Esme lingered on the line, seemingly wanting to say something, but she just told me she loved me, that they all loved me, and we would be back together soon.

I wondered what she was leaving unsaid- she wasn't one to mince her words when it came to advise or affection, both of which she had in spades. Esme was the constant presence of assurance and encouragement in all of our existences. I just hoped they weren't keeping something from me, something bad.

Deep down, though, I knew whatever it was, didn't matter. I could feel sadness, I could experience grief and loss. Of course I could, I wasn't one of my frozen, psychopathic counterparts who let their humanity or capacity for empathy drain away with the lives of their human victims.

I stared at Edward, not bothering to look at the road in front of me but from the far periphery of my vision to keep the car in the center of the lane. His cheek was on his shoulder, neck bent at an angle that looked uncomfortable. The soft tangles of his hair shone with oil and glimmered golden in the summer sunshine. It was getting long, much longer than it had been when we had first met. If he straightened it out, I was sure the ends would reach his collar. I shifted to my side and pushed the hair from his face with the hand that wasn't holding his, taking care to only lightly skim the warm skin at his cheekbones and the soft curve of the shell of his ear. There was such beauty here, so perfect and perfectly designed that I began to see how Carlisle could have faith in a creator- only by the grace of God could something so beautiful exist in real life.

He didn't wake when I stopped for gas just shy of our destination, but blinked into consciousness as I pulled into the dirt driveway of the empty cabin we had rented.

I surveyed our surroundings quickly, making sure that there wasn't a human presence for miles around. That tired rental agent had done exactly what I had asked and found one of the most isolated places in the entire state, and I made a mental note to make sure she was compensated for her help.

Edward was tired enough that he didn't fight when I carried in our bags as well as Alice, and followed me with a marked shuffle in his step. The key was under an obviously plastic rock in the front garden, and the house smelled musty from a long period of being uninhabited.

Edward flopped onto the bed beside where I laid Alice down, exhaustion written clear across his face. He had spent the entire flight on edge, nervously glancing back at the still-passed out Alice and his heart pounding every time the cabin jolted bounced from the turbulence, and his sleep in the car was short was shallow.

I slid the shabby curtain aside and glanced outside to the woods shining in the morning sunlight. It was actually kind of serene, if I ignored everything but the picturesque forest. The cabin sat on the top of a slope- which was advantageous from a strategic perspective- and looked down at the ravines of the preserve. The thin branches of a red oak scraped against the window in the bedroom, and Edward jumped at the noise before he realized that there was nothing to worry about.

At least, not just then.

Everything seemed to be getting remarkably more complicated, and I had a horrible and nauseating feeling- a particularly unnerving sensation for one who cannot physically experience nausea- in the pit of my stomach that it was only going to get worse.

The first delivery came just after Edward had rolled into the bed, beside Alice. It was, all things considering, the least important. A teenage boy bound up the creaking wooden steps of the cabin and left the bags of groceries, rapped once on the doorframe, and turned around to leave right away. Just as instructed.

Once his car was gone, I quickly unpacked the groceries. The refrigerator was warm, and would take a while to cool after I plugged it in, but I had ordered nothing that needed to be put in there immediately. If anything, I could just hold it in my own hands, cold with death as they were.

The next delivery was the important one, and the good doctor who brought what I needed arrived just a few minutes after the teenager left. He seemed skeptical, especially when he saw me, but he handed over everything I needed without question, and I gave him an envelope with more money to ensure his silence. A wad of cash and a list of what I needed given to the casher at a convenience store, and a little over an hour later I had a set of medical equipment that, besides being a bit dated, was more than adequate for what we needed.

I wondered how much longer this would take. Carlisle had made flight arrangements for us to fly home- privately, of course, but not with our own plane. Even he acknowledged that we wouldn't want to draw too much attention or have a paper trail of flight plans, just in case.

But in that case, I wondered how cautious we were truly being. If James or Victoria turned out to be some kind of technological savant, they might manage to track us down somehow. No human would surely ever be capable of navigating the numerous dummy corporations and dead ends we left behind, but I figured the Volturi, for example, would be able to keep track of us to some degree just with the connection of the internet.

While I thought, I did what needed to be done as far as Alice went- ensuring she was clean and would get actual nutrition in addition to the fluids I had already administered. All I could hope was that this wouldn't go on for too much longer. Alice looked so small and so fragile, with a tube protruding from under her shirt that led to her stomach, and the IV port in her forearm.

Edward had woken just as I was finishing, and he sat up in bed and watched me quietly. He had one leg tucked under him and the other extended out on the bed, looking casual and relaxed, but the marked v between his brows and the shallow frown lines around his full lips were the giveaway of his noncasual observation.

I decided not to acknowledge his piercing stare until he said something to me, instead continuing on with wrapping the port firmly on her arm. I collected a droplet of blood that had leaked out from the insertion on my index finger, and I brought it up to my face.

It shined in the sunlight. I could see the life brimming under the tension on the surface of the liquid, how it almost seemed to pulse on its own. I inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the burn and the tantalizingly sweet smell. I was almost distracted in comparing it to Edward's. I had never bothered to note how remarkably different siblings' scents were, even in twins like Edward and Alice. She smelled exactly as she was meant to- sweet and light, almost sparkling, like champagne and citrus intertwined with a delicately earthy note of lavender- with nothing troubling or even slightly off. If there was a virus, some kind of deficiency… I would have known.

"Your eyes are d-darker," Edward observed quietly while I wiped the blood off on a scrap of spare gauze. I glanced at him for a fraction of a second, then kept my head down. He didn't need to see this. It felt different, having him see that reaction in the dark of night, when it was in response to him- his body, his touch.

"She should be fine for as long as we're here," I said quietly, shifting Alice on the bed so she was in what I imagined to be a more comfortable position. "If you're hungry, there's food in the kitchen. I can make you something."

Edward shook his head to decline my offer and rolled off the bed so his bare feet clapped against the old wood floor. "I'd l-like to take a sh-shower, if that's p-possible?"

I flashed over to the other side of the room and took the shampoo and soap from one of the bags, then sniffed out a clean, rough towel from the closet inside the bathroom. Edward met me in the bathroom and murmured his thanks and, with what seemed like hesitation, reached his hand out to cup the back of my head. His fingers slid through my hair automatically, and he bent down and pressed his warm lips to the crown of my head. I leaned into his touch and inhaled deeply at the crook of his neck just as he breathed in deeply with his face buried in my hair.

It was just a fleeting moment before I released him, and he let me go and closed the door behind me. It almost hurt to hold him like that, to feel him so precious and alive.

I had always considered myself lucky. Even before Edward, I knew that I was blessed. My existence had always felt full, and each experience- whether with my human family or wandering alone, whether with the Volturi or with Carlisle and our new family- it had all shaped me into a person I had almost always been comfortable with. But doubt had been seeping into my existence ever since I met Edward.

I already knew I wasn't good enough for him. That was beyond argument and painfully obvious, though he somehow refused to acknowledge what I knew to be fact. I prepared a sandwich of lunchmeat and assorted vegetables, fruitlessly trying to provide something for Edward as if it could make up for the mortal danger I had brought down on him and his sister.

If it wasn't for me, they could go on with their human lives. It was doubtful James or Victoria could have found them safe at Charlie's if we hadn't drawn their attention with our baseball game. Edward could have continued to deal with his human trauma in a human way, and gone on with a human path- college, marriage, career. And he would have been none the wiser of this horror that I had brought into his life.

I left the food on the counter and wandered outside, into the sun. It was warm and exponentially brighter than the muted shine we were accustomed to in the Pacific Northwest. I sat down in the patch of thin grass just under a young pine tree, not bothering to hide in the shade. I closed my eyes and tilted my head up to the sun, hoping it would chase the darkness away.