Chapter 49 - Epilogue (Part 1)
POV: Soren Murdock (District 4)
A/N - These last two chapters will be from Soren's POV. I didn't want to put his name in the chapter titles, though, so there aren't any spoilers if anyone scrolls to see the chapter titles early.
It's been six months since the Games. Six months since I finally came home and since I saw my family again.
I naively thought it would get easier over the last six months. Cressa told me that the pain of the Games might never go away, and I didn't believe her. I believe her now. Every night, I'm visited in my sleep by those who never made it out of the Arena. Last night in my dreams I brought Nia and Dalia to District 4 for the first time. They were amazed. We had a picnic out in the Glade with Lacie. We even passed Wade on the way, and he joined us for a bit. Everything was so serene. I wish it was real. I wish I could talk to Lacie or Dalia one last time. Even Robin. After everything he did to me, I understand. He was just trying to survive in any way he could.
I open the door to my massive Victors' Village house to greet my guests. The house is much too large for just one teenage boy like me, especially one who has lived in a house of six people his whole life, but I'm not complaining.
Indigo practically shrieks when she sees me, hobbling up the driveway in insanely tall high-heels trailed by my styling team. Cressa joins them as well.
"Wow," Indigo says, breathless, as she examines my suit. It's a pinkish red shade, which I suppose is my signature color now. During the Games, my hair was dyed the color by my stylists, but since then, I've let it return to its natural brown. Just like my interview outfit, my suit has some sort of scaly pattern on it to signify a fish.
After about an hour of preparations, I'm finally ready.
"The cameras are waiting for you," Cressa tells me. "It's go time."
I nod, stepping out of my house. My family is all outside, waiting for me. I give Roman a small wave, and he tries to wave back as well as he can while holding Jasmine in his arms. I stand next to Marina.
"How's the project going?" I ask her.
"It's going well," she tells me. "It'll be done by the time you get back."
I'm excited. Marina's an amazing artist, so I've asked her to make something special for me.
I hug her. "Thank you."
"Alright, big smiles, everyone!" Indigo calls from behind the camera.
Ross appears on a monitor as I put my widest smile on.
"Hello, you all!" he says loudly. "Good to see you after so many months."
"It's been a while, Ross. I've been settling in here but having a brother in the Victor's Village has certainly made it easier," I tell him.
"I know all of Panem is certainly looking forward to your Victory Tour. Any news?" he asks me. I'm sure nobody in Panem is looking forward to the Victory Tour, but I don't say that.
"Well, since I've returned, my sister Marina has finally gotten married..."
Marina smiles next to me and holds up her hand, which has a ring on it.
".. and Jasmine just turned six years old!" I say happily.
Ross coos at Jasmine as she grins cheekily at the camera.
"Well, we'll see you soon, Soren," he says. "Goodbye now."
The cameras drop, deactivated, as do my family's smiles.
Indigo, Cressa, and I immediately leave on a train to the other Districts.
"We'll begin in District 12," Indigo says, "followed by 11 and 10 down to District 1. We'll be saving 4 for last."
District 12 is first on the tour. I step off the train with Indigo and Cressa at a run-down station. Everything around me is covered in a thin layer of black dust, and there's nobody in sight other than one woman. Her black hair covers her face, and she is slumped over. For a moment, I think the woman is dead, but Indigo calls her as if it's any other day.
"Daisy!" Indigo calls, and the woman snaps her eyes open, noticing our group. She slowly rises from her bench.
"Daisy is District 12's only Victor. It's customary to send a Victor or escort to meet us here. Looks like she was up to it this year," Cressa tells me as we walk.
"She wasn't last year," Indigo murmurs until I reach Daisy. "Hello, Daisy!"
"Welcome to 12," Daisy says. "Likely the least exciting stop on your trip."
I feel uncomfortable under her gaze. She grins at me. "I know you didn't know any of my tributes, but you still had an impact. We haven't had a Victor like you in a long time. Even your brother. You cared about the other kids and still survived. That doesn't happen often, I'm sure you'll find."
"Thank you," I say, flattered. "It's an honor to be here."
The District is very small. In front of me is the crowd, and it's hard to believe that this is the whole District. They all look starving. I shudder at the sight, and I force myself to look anywhere else. Behind the small crown, there are three large screens with the faces of the three District 12 tributes. The three of them move a bit as if they're alive, and I can't help but feel guilty that I never took the time to get to know any of them.
My speech is short and sweet, but I don't read from Indigo's speech that she gives me. According to Cressa, only Victors who don't care about the other tributes read from the cards, and I know I certainly cared about all of those who died so that I could live.
I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding as I board the train. District 12 is a place I don't plan on visiting again anytime soon. In Four, we call is the place where hopes and dreams go to die. Now I understand why.
District 11 is my next stop. This time, I'm greeted by two adults. I recognize them - I think they were Dalia and Nia's mentors, but I'm not sure. The two of them hug Cressa before she introduces them.
"Jordinia and Wolgang," she tells me. "Dala and Nia's mentors."
I smile at them. "You sent us our first sponsor gift," I say gratefully.
Jordinia glances at Cressa. "Partly," she admits. "We were all working together as a group."
"Thank you for taking care of Nia and Dalia during your time in the Arena," Wolfgang says. "District 11 was rooting for you after Dalia's death."
I feel myself tearing up a bit. Of all the Districts, District 11 is going to be one of the hardest for me.
I step on stage in District 11, and I immediately notice that the crowd is significantly larger. On-stage are four Victors, Jordinia and Wolfgang included.
The crowd, despite its massive size, is silent. "Thank you all for coming today," I start, and my voice echoes around the area.
"While I didn't know Angelica personally, her struggles prior to the Games were something that she did not deserve. My heart goes out to her family," I say. I look to the screen with Angelica's face on it, and under it, two teenage girls stand, crying. My heart hurts to see their pain - if I had died, that could have been Roman and Marina.
"I did know Dalia and Nia," I say. "Best friends from the start. Truly, they both touched my heart in a way I will never forget. Their spirits will stay with me for the rest of my life."
I'm almost unable to finish my sentence, as I choke up. I glance back to see Jordinia crying openly, wiping her eyes.
Under Dalia's pedestal, an older woman smiles at me, filled with emotion but seemingly grateful for my speech. She must be Dalia's grandma, the one she always talked about.
I force myself to look away. I can't stand the pain. Dalia didn't deserve this. Nia didn't deserve to die. Even Angelica.
District 10 is just as difficult. Seeing Tanner along with Rex and Lena brings all sorts of emotions, and I almost break down on-stage again. I see Tanner's mentor, Misty, glare at me when I exit, something that throws me off-guard even more.
"That was impossible," I say to Cressa when the ceremony is finally over.
"The worst is over, I promise," she reassures me. "Until we get to the Career Districts."
I didn't think seeing them again would be so hard. Even just seeing Rex again on-screen made my heart drop, and he was only with us one night. Seeing these kids' grieving families makes everything even worse.
"It needs to be done," Cressa tells me. "You need closure. After this trip, you won't see them like this again."
I nod. Cressa's done this before; she knows what she's talking about.
District 9 takes my breath away. Parts of the District are almost post-apocalyptic, not rebuilt yet from the massive fire. I stare at Greta's family, unable to look away from the older man and two young kids. A memory of Greta screaming, insane, at the Feast pops into my head and I shudder. It takes me a moment to start speaking, taken aback by the destruction of the District.
In District 8, I'm welcomed by a Capitol escort rather than a Victor. Indigo cheers, dragging me off the train.
"What a surprise! Soren, this is my favorite fellow escort, Alodia Sterlingshire," she introduces excitedly.
Alodia envelopes me in a tight hug, throwing me off-guard.
"It's a pleasure to have you here," she says. "Unfortunately. our Victors couldn't make it, so I hope I make a worthy replacement!"
The two escorts laugh as Cressa and I exchange an amused look.
The festivities are short. I was never close to the District 8 tributes. Rose's mother stands by herself under her picture, and I can't help but think of when I watched Robin kill her at the end of the Games.
Just like Cressa said, the rest of the Districts go fairly quickly, although they are all uniquely painful for me in different ways. In District 6, I see Jomilee's family - one boy about her age, and a middle-aged man and woman. As I spot her picture, her voice echoes around in my head. "Thank you all for taking care of me. Good luck."
In District 5, I have similar experiences with Carlo and Seffie. Neither of them deserved to die. It's pouring rain in District 5, but some areas are luckily covered from the downpour. While Seffie's picture is behind a large family, Carlo's is empty.
I'm escorted by Peacekeepers into the town hall of District 3. It is dark inside and cold-looking. At the center of the large, empty hall, is a younger woman with two older men.
"Welcome to District 3, Soren," the woman says. I recognize her - she's Iris, Robin's mentor. She has a kind look to her, at least compared to the two scary-looking men behind her, who I guess were the mentors for the other two District 3 tributes.
Iris continues as our two groups meet at the center of the hall. "I apologize for Robin's actions in the Games. He was just trying to do what he could to win, but it came at your expense. I promise you his betrayal was not under my advisory."
"No need to apologize," I respond. "We all know people will do anything in the Arena. It was a smart move on his part."
"I'm glad you feel that way," she says with a smile. "I'm sad Robin didn't see the benefits of staying with you all. If he had, he may be here today."
In District 2, Cressa gives me a pep-talk before my speech.
"The Careers are the hardest. They're not as tough crowds as they used to be, but the tributes are usually expected to win and they don't like it when they don't."
"Better to get it out of the way," I respond with a sigh. There are only two more Districts left, and I'm glad.
Indigo escorts me to the stage, where there is a long row of Victors seated on-stage. It's nauseating to see eight Victors seated next to one another when most of the other Districts only have one or two of them.
As soon as I see the crowd, I spot Ada's picture on a screen. I freeze for a moment, scared speechless. Of all the tributes, Ada's probably shown up in my dreams the most, usually getting revenge for when I killed her. She's the only tribute I actually killed directly, other than Felix. I have to look away from her before I start my speech, but I feel her gaze watching me from across the plaza. I will never forget the feeling of her throat beneath me as I slit her throat.
District 1 is a similar experience. It's odd to see Victoria's picture; she still has both eyes, and looks actually human. She has no family beneath her picture - I wonder what happened to her family.
In One, there are seven Victors, and they all follow me into the District 1 Hall following my speech.
I meet up with Cressa after my speech, and she watches someone behind me. I glance back to see one of the District 1 mentors with dark red hair following me.
"Hello..." Cressa says, an uncomfortable look on her face.
The man extends his hand to me. "Maroon," he introduces himself. "Victoria's mentor this year."
I shake his hand.
"I just wanted to congratulate you in person. Victoria was a strong competitor but you truly deserved the crown," Maroon tells me. "Here in District 1, we aren't sore losers so long as the winner deserves it. You certainly did."
"Thank you," I reply. "That means a lot."
"Of course..." he drawls slowly. "Have fun in the Capitol. See you around."
Maroon saunters off. Cressa's lips are pressed tight as she lets out a breath. "Let's go, the train's waiting," she says, irritated. I guess she isn't a fan of Maroon.
The Capitol is my last stop. I'm led by Indigo into a massive party, where hundreds of wealthy guests are celebrating. As I enter, I spot Snow looking down at the festivities. Spotting me, he grabs a knife and uses it to tap his glass, quieting the crowd. All eyes turn to the young man on the balcony.
"Today we welcome Soren Murdock, this year's Victor from District 4," Snow says, his voice echoing over the crowd. "The brother of Roman Murdock, last year's Victor. May your impact on this great nation be profound. I look forward to greeting you back here once again for the opening ceremonies in a few years' time."
I cringe at the last part of his speech - according to Cressa, I'm scheduled to be a mentor for the Games in a few short years. It's something I'm not looking forward to, to put it mildly.
Soon after I enter the crowd, I'm intercepted by Vispania, the Head Gamemaker, who is with a man. I recognize him vaguely - he's Sebastian, the Head Trainer from my time in Training before the Games. I haven't seen either of them in months. They both raise their glasses as I approach them.
"Ah, there's our Victor," Vispania says.
"Your performance was outstanding, truly. Your bravery in ending that fight during Training was clearly foreshadowing to your performance," Sebastian says, referencing when I pulled Leon off Angelica.
"Yes, that seems like so long ago..." I respond. I can't believe it's only been six months.
"Doesn't it?" Vispania replies. "I must thank you; the better the Games and the better the Victor, the longer I keep my job. For that I am in your debt, just like your brother. Us Gamemakers don't choose a Victor but we have our favorites, and your alliance certainly made it easy for us to make the Games broadcastable, you could say."
I'm uncomfortable my her words. If there's one positive thing that I'm able to get out of the Games, it's that I was strong enough to come out as the Victor. Something about the way the Gamemakers have 'favorites' makes me think. The Gamemakers have ultimate power over the Arena, so there's nothing stopping them from simply choosing the Victor and killing the rest of the tributes. The thought makes me slightly nauseous.
I lose Indigo in the crowd, and for the first time in months, I let myself have fun. This party is in celebration of me. Maybe I should let myself move on from the past and embrace the future.
Early in the morning, Indigo finally finds me and leads me back to the train. Tomorrow, we'll finally arrive back in District 4.