The past few days have been wonderful.

I mean, truly wonderful.

Shuu has been so caring, and warm.

And I've been so good.

It's been wonderful, really!

He's been going out a lot, but that's fine! He can have a life outside of me, can't he?

I'm fine with it.

He's not doing anything silly. He'd never do that.

Because he's perfect, and he loves me.

He's fine. It's all fine.

Perfect, actually.

Aha.

Anyway.

Today's been perfect too.

Shuu's here a lot today. It's been nice.

But he has to go out tonight.

I'll be all alone.

I'll be so scared without him.

Maybe I can convince him to stay here?

I wonder where he's going.

He only said that it was important.

I wonder if I should ask. That's not rude, is it?

I don't think so.

No, I shouldn't. That's his business.

Hm.

I just wanna know...

He hasn't mentioned that one-eyed ghoul thing, but...I don't think it could be about that, and I'm not allowed to ask about it.

Hm.

I'm sure it's nothing to do with that.

He probably just has an event.

Still, I wish he'd stay with me tonight.

I get so scared.

Please stay.

Don't leave me.

Please.

I'll be good, I promise.

Just don't leave me.

Shuu will be leaving soon.

I have been counting down the hours.

So has he.

He is getting excited.

He fucked me twice today, and screamed a name that wasn't mine.

That would be okay, but...

I'm starting to think maybe this is about the one-eyed ghoul.

Oh, God...

Oh, no!

He's gonna try and eat it, isn't he?

No, no, no, no!

He's gonna get hurt!

He's gonna do it and then he's gonna die of cancer!

No!

I can't let this—I-I-I—I have to stop him.

I can't let him get hurt.

He's all I have.

I have to stop him.

I have to disobey him—for his own good!

I have to.

I have to stop this.

I need him to understand he's going to get hurt.

He'll understand.

He'll see I'm doing it out of love.

He'll see.

He'll be angry, but I'll take it, and then I'll tell him everything.

And he will understand.

Shuu will be leaving in an hour.

He's starting to send me to bed, I feel it.

He's in one of the libraries, finding a book to read to me.

I'm going to see if I can do it now; if I can convince him to not go.

"Shuu?" I ask, timidly.

He looks up, smiling. He's so beautiful, "Oh, there you are. I was thinking we could read this, what do you think?"

He is holding a leatherback copy of The Extended Works Of H.P. Lovecraft. I can't but think he chose one of my favourites on purpose.

"Perfect," I smile, "I made you coffee."

"Well, what a nice surprise. Merci," He kisses my head and takes a cup of coffee.

"Hey! That's mine."

He smiles, "Oh?"

"Yeah! You know how I'm kinda bad at the filtery thing, so mine's the trial one. Also, it's in my mug!"

"Well, I want to try your first attempt at coffee, and I like your mug," He leads me away from the library.

"But mine didn't have caffeine in it," I pout.

"I'll make you some tea, that'll send you to sleep, or just drink the other one."

I follow him to the sofa and curl up against him. He begins to read, and I wait for my chance to speak.

"Well," He says, after finishing The Colour Out Of Space, "I think that's enough. Let's get you to bed—"

"No," I whimper, feigning tiredness.

"No? Don't be absurd–"

"No. Please don't go. I want you to stay tonight. Please."

"I'll be back by the morning. You'll be fine."

"No. Please. Just stay. Please. I don't want another nightmare without you being here. And I'll get nightmares tonight, I know I will. Please. Please just stay here, and read me something else. Please."

"I have other things to do, dear, I have to go. You'll be fine. I'll put lavender under your pillow and you'll sleep perfectly fine."

"Noooooo..."

"Don't be difficult. I'll be here tomorrow night."

"But I want you here tonight...And I didn't go to bed this early yesterday!"

"Yes, because I didn't have somewhere to be yesterday."

I whine, "Can't I come with you?"

He laughs, and I feel myself go bright red, "You? You haven't been outside in months! I can't have you out looking like that."

I go red more, and I suddenly feel like crying.

I wonder if he's talking about my weight. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that pear yesterday.

God, why am I so weak? I should be at least ten pounds lighter by now!

"Besides," He continues, "You know it's dangerous."

"...I just don't wanna be alone."

"You'll be fine. You'll be asleep in minutes. You won't even know I've gone."

"But I—"

"You stay just here, sweetheart," He says, "And you'll have nice dreams. I promise."

"But I wanna be with you."

"I'm busy. I'll be back by morning."

"Why do you have to go? Where are you going?"

"Just out. Nothing for you to worry with."

"But I am worried. What if you get hurt or something and I can't find you?"

"You think I'd let myself get hurt?"

There's an edge to his voice.

"Who would hurt me, Charlotte?"

Oh no.

"I don't know. A ghoul investigator? I don't know. Sorry. Just—What if something bad happens and you don't come back?"

"Nothing bad will happen. I plan these things. I know what I'm doing."

"I know! But something can always go wrong, and if anything happened to you I'd-I'd-I'd—I'd kill myself!"

He laughs again, "Well, we don't want that, do we?" He smiles.

I think I saved it. I don't think he's angry.

"Actually, sweetheart," He says, softly, "There's something I need to ask, before I go."

"Anything!"

"How stupid do you think I am?"

"Huh?"

"How. Stupid. Do. You. Think. I. Am."

"What? I don't think that at all! You're so clever! You're one of the—"

"Don't you dare. Do you think I couldn't smell what you put in that coffee? You take me for being as stupid as you, don't you?"

"No! Never!"

"And then you start all this talk about keeping me here. Trying to sabotage my evening, weren't you? I bet you can't stand the thought of me being away from you for two seconds. You sick little cagna. You tried to drug me!"

"No! I just wanted to spend the night with you. Because I love you! So, so much! I know it's pathetic—but I'm pathetic! I just wanted—"

He hit me.

He actually did it.

He hit me.

I stand here, my cheek burning with a sharp sting. And I am covered in the hot coffee I was trying to give him, and now he has pushed me against a wall.

"How dare you!" He spits.

I hate how close he is to me.

"Trying to ruin my evening! Who do you think you are!"

Get away.

"Did you think you'd get away with it too? Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

I need to breathe!

"How many times have I told you? How many times have you promised me you wouldn't be so stupid?"

I'm going to scream, and then you'll get angry and then I'll say something stupid! Get away from me! Get away!

"You just do it again, again, and again! And I believe you—every time! Maybe I'm the fool here—or maybe you're just a sick little girl who I've let get away with it."

Stop it!

"Oh, we're crying now, are we? Look at me when I'm talking to you—LOOK AT ME!"

I make a strange noise, similar to the one I made when Besho was on me.

"Stop!" I choke.

"Don't you dare! Don't tell me what to do! Don't you dare even speak! I'll rip your tongue out if you say another thing!"

"Hurting...Me..."

"Shut up!"

"I can't...breathe—"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

I feel like my neck is snapping, slowly crunching under his grip.

I can't talk anymore. I can't even breathe.

"I welcome you into my home," He snarls.

I knew this was a bad idea.

"I give you everything—everything."

Am I going to die?

"And this is how you repay me?"

I'm going to die. He's going to kill me.

"This is how you repay me! This! This!"

He's screaming now. I hope he won't damage his voice.

"You rude little brat! You repay me like this! You stupid little—" He holds me up by my neck, and I can see the pure hatred in his eyes.

Seeing that, I want him to kill me.

Please.

Kill me.

"This! This! This!" He shouts, and then I feel myself fly across the room.

I don't feel the impact.

I don't feel the pain.

I can still hear Shuu speaking, repeating something. I wish he'd stop.

I feel dizzy.

The world is fuzzy.

And there's something wet trailing down my head.

I touch it with a shaking hand, and look at my hand.

Blood.

So much blood.

I feel myself start to scream and gasp, but before I can, I realise that everything is dark, and something cold has embraced me.

But I'm warm.

And—

Am I dead?

I don't feel like I'm dead.

Did Shuu kill me?

Ow!

No, I don't think I'm dead.

My head...ow.

Ow.

Ow

ow

ow

ow

Ahhhh...God.

It's so bright.

Ow. My eyes!

It's way too bright.

I blink, scrunching my eyes tight whenever I close them.

Where am I?

I can't remember...

What happened?

The blanket of dizziness has soon fallen from my eyes, and I see that I am lying on the floor, in a pool of something red.

Is this my blood?

My head feels heavy, and I can feel something dry clinging to my hair.

I must've hit my head.

I push my head up, and see that the room I am in is almost completely dark, save for the light of the moon from the windows.

I force myself up and stumble to the light switch.

The lounge is a mess.

Books are strewn all over the place, a canvas painting knocked over, bloody footsteps staining the marbled floor.

I turn away.

I must've made him angry.

I was going to try to make him stay. I guess it didn't work out.

I clutch my head, feeling sick, and throw up on the floor.

I have thrown up on a Persian rug.

Shuu is going to kill me.

I stumble to the kitchen, desperate for some water.

It tastes slightly bleachy, but I don't care. It's so cold, and so wonderful, I must drink.

Here, in the kitchen, I see something.

I am filled with a sudden hunger.

I see it.

Small, brightly coloured pills that look like sweets. They are next to the tea cabinet.

I feel myself drool.

I know I shouldn't, but I need them.

They will make me feel so loved, so energised, so excitedly paranoid.

I eat them all.

They do not satiate me, but there is no food.

I ate the last pear yesterday.

But there are colourful things in the cleaning cupboard. Some of them explode in my mouth and are covered in plastic. Some of them are waxy.

They taste disgusting, but I eat them all.

I move to the bathroom, wondering if there's anything else to eat, but I am filled with a sudden desire.

I am suffocating.

The air in this house is not working.

I need air.

Gasping, I stumble to the back door.

It's locked.

The windows are locked.

The doors are all locked.

I am locked in an airless house.

I just need some air.

I really need some air.

I have to have some air.

I pick up a bespoke sculpture of a horse, and using all my strength, I throw it at the glass window.

It shatters easier than I think.

I stick my head out into the cool air, and drink the air as if I have never breathed before.

I hang myself from it, eager to drink as much as possible.

But my head is so heavy, and I feel dizzy again. And there's that energetic feeling, and the need to vomit.

I vomit into a flower bed, before tumbling out of the window; into broken glass that embeds in my skin.

I get to my feet. I look around.

I don't know if these berries next to me are edible, but I eat them anyway.

I eat all of them, and the pretty flowers too.

I feel sick again.

I wander around the garden, aimlessly, and look for any sign of Shuu. I come to the front, and see that Shuu's car is not here. He has left me here.

I throw myself at the front gate, wondering if I am thin enough to slip through the gaps between it.

I am.

And I am free.

I have not been out in so long.

It's weird.

I want to go back into that airless house, but I don't. My feet take me down the street, to Dory's house.

There is no one home. The house has a 'FOR SALE' sign out front.

It's as if no one has ever lived there before.

I still go in. I still call out. I still cry for him.

But he is not here.

There is a number on the sign. But I have no phone.

I will remember it, and when I am by a phone I will call it and find Dory.

In the meantime, I look to Genesis' house.

It too, looks abandoned.

I keep walking, determined to find Dory.

I don't know where he is, but I need to find him.

I don't know why. I just feel like I really need to be with him.

I call out his name in the streets. I think I see him in crowds, but it's not him. It never is.

I stumble around, people staring at me in disgust—like I'm some insane drug addict. They don't let me borrow change or make a phone call, even when I ask nicely.

I just keep walking around, begging for a phone, avoiding questions about the blood on me. I think someone tried to call the hospital, but I just...kept walking.

I don't know when someone gave me their phone, but I got one, and I was calling the number at Dory's house.

"Hello? This is—"

"Hi! I'm looking for someone. Do you know a Doryo Fuyuhiko?"

"I—Who is this? Would you like to make an offer?"

"No! I need my friend. He's my friend. Please, I really need him."

"Who is this?"

"Charlotte. Charlotte Fisher! I really need to speak to him. He's my best friend, please!"

"Miss, I can't do that. Do you have proof of—"

"Please, can you just let me speak to him? Give me his phone number or something. Please! Or like, where he is? Please! Please!"

"Miss, I can't do that. I'll have to talk to Mr Fuyuhiko first."

"Please, please just let me speak to him!" I panic, "Hello? Hello? Oh."

They hung up.

I feel myself start to tear up, and hand the phone back, walking off and crying to myself.

I rang the number again, with a different phone, but there was no answer this time. Too late in the evening.

I just keep on stumbling around, crying, calling out his name.

I think I'm waiting for him to either come to me, or for some sick fuck to come and assault me and leave me to die.

I think, if it happened now, I would die. I'd just give up.

One short breath and poof.

I'm dead.

In the meantime, I must try to find Dory.

I traipse through the Light District, asking around at all the places he used to go. One guy tells me to go to another place. I go there, and another man tells me to go to another place.

And so on.

I eventually meet a man who tries to touch me, I stumble away, and find myself next to some late-night food stalls.

Dory liked some of these, so I ask there.

They tell me that Dory was there hours earlier, that he went that way, and I follow the trail to a bar we used to go to.

I ask around, but no one wants to talk to me.

I just repeat his name, waiting.

Eventually, I see him.

He is walking away, laughing about something, holding a bag.

"Dory!" I cry out. My voice echoes in an almost empty street.

He looks at me.

He gasps.

"OhmyGod!" He says, "Charlotte?"

"Dory!"

He runs over, "It is you!"

His face is so sweet. He looks so wonderful. Like me, he has dropped an abnormal amount of weight. His pupils are extremely dilated.

"Dory..." I whine.

He embraces me, before looking up at me, "Dude! What the hell happened to you? You're covered in blood? And...glass! Did you fall? Did someone attack you?"

"I..." I hesitate, memories still fuzzy in my head, "I think so."

"Dude..." He says, he checks his watch, "Shit."

"What?"

"Shit...My train's in like, twenty minutes..." He pauses, "Fuck it. What happened to you?"

"Train? Where are you going?"

"That doesn't matter. What happened? Where is it?"

"My head...and glass, and I feel so sick, but...Where are you going? Why have you sold your house?"

"I'm leaving, Charlotte. But that doesn't matter—"

"Of course it matters! Where are you going? For how long?"

"I don't know. It's a big job in Hokkaido."

"North? I've never been. Is it nice?"

"Sure, sure. Wha—Did he do this to you?"

"Who? Shuu?"

"He hurt you like that, didn't he?"

"No. He'd never, and it wouldn't be on purpose."

"That doesn't make it okay. How'd you escape anyway?"

"Escape?"

"From Tsukiyama. Pasha said he was being all creepy with you, and now Pasha's gone missing and—he was being weird, Charlotte. He wouldn't let any of us in the house. I knew he was doing something to you. And look...God. What's done to you? Why didn't I—"

"He said you were all being horrible about me, because of what I did...And Pasha was so mean when he came to see me the one time. Mean. Mean! He's awful. I hate him."

"No one's seen him in weeks."

"So what? I don't care. I don't. Do you? Do you care? Because that's pathetic, Dory."

"Of course I care, he's my bo—my friend," Dory rubs his nose in irritation, "Fuck, I need another hit," He mumbles.

"Is that coke? Do you have any Molly?"

He pauses, "Yeah, I got a pack. But your head—"

"No, I really need some. This is fine. I'm fine. I just need some."

"...Okay, but that's expensive shit, don't waste it. Think of it as a parting gift," He says, sniffing.

"Thanks...You're leaving now, then?"

"Yup," He paused, "Hey, you wanna come with?"

"Me? With you? Up north?"

"Yeah. I'll buy you a ticket."

I stop to think.

Maybe it would be better if I just disappeared for a bit. It might give Shuu time to calm down, and maybe then he'll forgive me.

He must be so mad.

I should let him calm down. He might hurt me.

"Sure," I said, "I'll go."

"Great. C'mon, before we miss it."

He takes my hand and we run to the train station, our respective drugs starting to kick in. By the time we are at the empty platform, we are dancing and giggling with each other.

"I'm so happy I found you!" I say, twirling with a little stumble.

"Me too!" He giggles, "I thought Tsukiyama was gonna like, brainwash you or something."

"He'd never do that! He loves me too much."

"Yeah? He doesn't love anyone but himself."

"Well, he loves me, because I'm special."

Dory hums and walks to the tracks, dipping and making some kind of dancing movement, "Where'd you get those bruises?"

"I don't know. They just appear. He didn't do it."

"He did that though," He tapped his head, "Didn't he?"

"No! I probably just fell down the stairs," I say, trembling and knowing I am about to throw up again, "The only reason I got covered in glass because I fell out a window."

"Jesus, dude," He twirls, "Why'd you fall out a window?" He stops, dizzy.

"I just needed air."

"Yeah, ok, and...?"

"And everything was locked, so I had to break one, and I felt so sick and I just fell."

"He locked you in, huh?"

"Yeah, but only because he was worried about me."

"Did he see you do that to your head?"

"Yeah. What's with all the questions—" I stop, rushing to a bin to throw up.

I hear something clang on the metal of the tracks, and see Dory leaping onto them.

I rush back over, still nauseous, "Dory! What the—"

There is a train coming.

"Dory! For fuck's sake, what are you doing? There's a train!"

"Look at it though, it's going so slowly. I'm fine. I just dropped my coke and–Shit. Where's my phone?"

"Dory! Get up here! You can get more coke later!"

"What about my fucking phone, Charlotte? God."

"Dory!" I cry out. The train is drawing ever nearer. The sound of it makes the floor vibrate.

"Dory! Get up here!" I am crying.

"Dude, that thing is moving at a snail's pace," He laughs, "Don't cry about it. Geez. I'll just find my phone in like two seconds."

"You don't have that long! Come on! Get up here!"

The train will be on him in seconds.

I can hear it honking, and the sound of its wheels racing on the tracks.

I cry more, and scream out; "DORY! GET UP HERE NOW!"

"Dude! Calm! Down!"

He laughs.

The train is five seconds away.

"DORY!"

I wonder if I should get down there with him.

"Dory, please, please, just get up here."

Maybe we should die together.

"Doryyyyyyy—"

"Where the fuck is my pho—"

Splat.

The train was moving so fast and yet, it feels like I'm watching in slow motion.

His eye is the worst. It's still intact, even as the train screeches to a halt. One of his eyes is jelly, but the other is just...staring at me, popping out from what was his head.

He is still grinning.

All I can do is stare at him.

At what's left of him.

At his phone, next to me on the floor.

I can't scream. I can't move.

I feel sick, but I can't move to go be sick.

All I can think is:

Dory.

Dory.

Dory.

What

No

Dory

Dory

Dory

I cant

Dory

Dorys

Dory

Dory

Dory

A few people are coming off the train, some only notice me at first, then they see the tracks.

A few people start to surround me, and I can't breathe. I'm going to be sick again.

I am sick, and that clears way for me.

I take Dory's bag and stumble away.

I don't want to leave him, but those people are suffocating.

I don't know what to do without him.

How do I carry on?

I can't.

Where do I go?

Should I go home?

No, I shouldn't, Shuu will just get angry and I can't deal with that right now.

I just need...

I glance back, seeing a detached arm on the tracks, the few people starting to cry out or scream.

And I am sick again.

I wander away from the train station, and to a park with a big lake. I throw myself on the ground, sobbing and screaming.

I killed my best friend.

I did it again.

I killed someone.

But he was the only person I had left.

He was all I had.

He really cared about me.

But now everything is gone.

Everything.

My best friends.

Shuu hates me, doesn't he?

What do I have left?

It's all gone.

Because of me.

Because of how stupid I am.

Because of how pathetic I am.

I'm a monster.

I killed my only friend.

Dory.

Dory.

Dory.

There wasn't anything left of him, except this bag.

I clutch the bag like a teddy bear, as though someone were planning to steal it.

It's all I have left.

All that remains of my best friend.

I don't know what to do.

Or maybe I do.

I'm just scared.

Dory.

Dory.

Dory.

He's gone.

He's dead.

I killed him.

Oh my God...Oh my God.

Why.

why

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He didnt deserve it.

It shouldnt have been him.

He was everything.

He was the one I really loved.

Him.

Dory

My Dory

How

How

How can it have been him

It shouldve been shuu

Shuu shouldve been splatted by that train

He deserves it

Dory didnt

Dory didnt deserve any of this

It shouldve been shuu

I shouldve killed shuu

Its his fault

All of it

I wish he was dead

I hope he reads this

But

I dont people to read this

Ever

I dont want them to know

How pathetic i am

Because i am nothing

I never was anything

Ever

I am nothing.

I am nothing.

I

I

I

idontknowwhatimsupposedtodo

theresnothingicando

iamsostupid

whyamisostudpid

URGH!

I cant even spell right!

Im so

Stupid!

STUPID!

STUPiD!

STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

I ruined you

Youre smudged now

sorry

Im going to call Shuu

I need to tell him something

he needs to know

what hes done

i hope he hates it

he wont answer

of course he wont

i am calling him on dorys phone

this is pathetic

god

i get stupider and stupider

i wanted to tell him about dory

he needs to know

and

i thought he mightve cared enough to answer

to listen to me

a little

but no

I guess I hoped

I wasnt thinking anything.

I hoped that maybe one person

One person in this huge Universe—would care about me.

But I am stupid.

I am angry with Shuu, but I'm not. I'm angry at this dumb brain, for believing someone cared.

Fine.

Shuu won't read this, but I hope he enjoys his fucking one-eyed ghoul shit or whatever.

I don't care.

I don't care.

I.

Don't.

Care.

I don't care.

I don't.

I

HAVE FUN YOU FUCKING CUNT!

HAVE FUCKING FUN!

I HOPE YOU GET CANCER! I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FUCKING WRECK!

I HOPE YOUR FUCKING PERFECT FACE GETS MANGLED INTO NOTHING. PERMANENTLY. YOU FUCKING BASTARD.

Sorry.

I'm just mad.

I wonder what Pasha and Genesis are doing.

What will they think about Dory?

They will grieve.

They will be so upset.

They will be so angry.

With me.

They might want to kill me.

Or maybe they won't even think about me.

I want them to know.

I killed Dory.

I want them to be angry.

I want them to hate me.

They should.

Good for them.

I'm smudging you again.

Sorry.

I'm still crying, so this will be hard to read.

But no one will read it, so whatever, I guess. No one cares.

No one cares.

No one cares.

I don't even care.

No.

I do care.

That's why I'm doing this.

Because I care about the things I did with Dory.

I care about how I felt about Shuu.

I care about my stupidity.

I care about Lyra.

I write this because I want to think about it.

When I cared.

When I was naive.

When my only friend was still here.

I write this because I use to have my friend here.

But now I have nothing.

Now I am nothing.

I know I've said it before, but I mean it this time.

This will be the last time.

I am going to make sure of it.

All I've ever had is gone.

It's over.

Everything is over.

I'm so stupid.

Look at me, listen to me.

I'm so stupid.

I killed my best friend.

I want him back.

I want Dory back!

But he's not coming back.

Because I murdered him.

My best friend.

How could be stupid enough to do that?

To murder the one thing I had.

I must be the dumbest person alive.

I killed him.

I did.

I want him back.

Please come back, Dory. Please.

I love you.

I'm going to come and find you.

I am.

Because I am already nothing.

I am already a statistic.

Just another prostitute for the rubbish pile.

A prostitute with too much ambition.

A drug addict who actually thought she mattered.

I wonder what people will say about this.

Will they think it was murder?

Will they see it for what it was?

Either way, they'll probably say that I deserved it.

I doubt I'll even get a funeral, and if there was, no one will go.

Just my coffin, surrounded by stuffed toys.

And that'll be it.

That is it.

I don't know why I started writing this--m-this recount of the last few months, but I'm glad.

Writing this has told me something. Writing this has made me realise that I am and always will be: a stupid slut.

A failure.

And maybe my ego is too big to accept that.

Maybe this isn't because I love Dory.

Maybe this is because I can't accept what I am.

Either way.

This is where I leave you.

I sit here now, by the light of my phone, in my underwear, and I'm almost ready.

I need to hurry.

I don't want this to be found.

I'm going to bring it with me.

I need to bring it with me.

This is all I have left of Dory.

Of love.

Of the thought that I was ever important.

And honestly...

I don't want to be mocked for more than I already will be.

But this is it, for you and me. Me and this little pink book, these little pink letters.

We'll throw ourselves into the lake before us and, like a young mermaid, we will dissolve away into the currents of the water.

Never to be seen, never to be mentioned, ever again.