Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

49. Lady Of The Starkes

I'm baaaccccck! :33

Before we get to this chapter, thank you for the reviews! I realized some are a little confused about Ida's powers, so I'll do a little explanation here, please ignore it if you don't want to read it.

All that we know until Chapter 44:

1) The Will of Odina is a power that allows an awakened Starke to travel through the past via the paths and into the MEMORIES of their ancestors. Which memories and which ancestor is random and cant be controlled. Those that are not awakened; aka Elsie & Ivy do not carry this trait.

2) An awakened Starke can ONLY come from a pair of twins. Only one twin will carry the ability to awaken, the other will be born normal. If a single child is born, they do not carry the trait of awakening. Every Starke can be turned into a Titan.

3) In order to 'trigger' the Will of Odina and allow the awakened Starke to go venture into the paths, they need a catalyst to form a connection with the paths. The catalyst being a Titan of a Starke bloodline (think Eren Founding Titan and Royal Blooded Titan). It is triggered through physical contact.

4) The reason why twins are so prominent in the Starke bloodline is to ensure that there will always be an "awakened" Starke and a "normal" Starke that can be turned into a trigger. Think a lock, being Ida, and the key being Ivy. They both require each other to unlock the powers.

5) The Starke Titan doesn't HAVE to be a twin, it can be a father, younger brother, or in Ida's case, even her own child. As long as it's a Starke Titan, once Ida has physical contact with it, it can unlock her powers. Therefore, Ida is conflicted, because she knows she may one day be required to turn her child into a Titan for humanity.

6) A substitute of a Royal blooded Titan can be used as a trigger for Ida to channel the Will of Odina. However, as it is only a substitute for the real thing (a Starke Titan) it will only allow Ida to see through RECENT memories of her ancestors. The scope is shorter.

7) Once a physical contact is made between a Starke Titan and an awakened Starke, the connection with the paths will only last for a month, before it fades and eventually, Ida will no longer be able to travel to the memories of her ancestors

8) It was said by Laena and Elsie and the way to find out how to erase the Titan's power from all Subjects of Ymir is to trigger the Will of Odina, travel through the memories of their ancestors, and reach Odina's memory. Because Odina is the one who created the Titans, it is believed that by learning how she created it, naturally, Ida will learn a way to undo it as well.

I'll remove this infodump when the next chapter is posted and will place it on my profile and update concurrently as new information is learned!

Phew, I never knew how complex my plot is until I wrote all this down. Sorry for the info dump, but I understand it can get very hard to keep up with because the info is gradually revealed through multiple chapters and because I post on a monthly basis, it's hard to piece together ._.

Now, onwards to the chapter!

P/S: Don't hate me, I love you guys.

Thank you blackbutler415 for giving me your opinion!

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter 44 — Lady of the Starkes

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Levi found himself in a terrible mood by the time he arrived back at headquarters. Leaving Ida with that lanky Fischer boy irked him, and although he trusted there was nothing between them, he wondered if there was any other purpose why that shit-face was lingering around her.

He had the shitty glasses to thank for this. It was all by her stinking approval.

As the Captain swept through the stone-walled corridors, he found himself keen to get his update with Hanji over and done with as quickly as possible so that he could find Ida. He imagined she was having a hard time.

Finding another way? Tsk. Sounds like another pipedream to him.

When he arrived at the Commander's door, he knocked twice swiftly.

"Come in, Levi."

He entered Hanji's office and grimaced at the chaotic mess he found before him. "How the hell has your place gotten to this state already? I cleaned it for you just two days ago."

She dismissed his criticism with a wave of her hand and gestured for him to take a seat. Seeing her disheveled appearance and surrounded by mountains of paperwork made Levi pity her situation. She had some big ass boots to fill.

Levi swept down the dusty seat with a look of disgust and perched himself on it uncomfortably. "Shit. And here I thought the shitty pile of paperwork I'd been putting off was bad."

Hanji exhaled tiredly and rubbed her nose bridge. "Ah, well... Erwin never let on how much work he was responsible for, did he?" She gave him a weary smile. "If I had known maybe I wouldn't have taken on the job as Commander."

He regarded her wordlessly. There wasn't much consolation he could say to her off-handed remark.

After all, if he hadn't given the serum to Armin then…

Levi studied his oldest friend and felt the guilt return tenfold. He couldn't even count the number of times he saw her working until she had passed out all because of her shitty stubbornness to prove one of her many theories and speculations over the Titans. But now as he looked at her, and knew that she had been busy, he could tell it wasn't the same.

Her face wasn't lit on fire over excitement.

Hanji wasn't enjoying it—her new job as Commander. Her single eye was tired and heavy, and she wore a bitter expression on her face. He might be thinking too much, but she seemed to have lost some weight as well.

She reverted the conversation back on track, to which Levi was grateful, "So?"

"They'll release the papers by this week."

She nodded. "I thought that best as well."

Levi privately agreed with her. The sooner they reveal the truth of the world to the civilians, the better. He couldn't stand to see another piss-poor celebration thrown over 'humanity's victory.'

Hanji tilted her head to the side, thoughtful. "Well? Do you want to know?"

"Know what, four-eyes?" Levi demanded though he knew what she was referring to.

"What I spoke with Zackly and the rest of the commanders today in regards to Ida."

"You would tell me if you found it necessary," he said curtly.

The Commander wore an amused look on her face. "Are you saying you don't care about what happens to her now?"

Levi threw a quill at her. "Fuck off, Hanji. You know what I mean."

"Alright, alright," she relented, chuckling. "But I do think it's necessary that you know."

He scowled when her face reverted back to a look of seriousness, "They are insisting she retires from the Survey Corps permanently and move to Sina."

Shit.

"Pixis and Nile too?"

Hanji nodded. "Yes. Obviously, the thought of our enemies being greater than what they have imagined spurred this decision on."

Levi narrowed his eyes. That goes without saying. Fear was a powerful weapon that was able to bound people with different ideologies together, but he also knew it made people do desperate things.

Desperate… and immoral things.

She fiddled with her quill, "I've argued, but then again, I must admit I find it hard to find a case to go against them—they made a point, Ida is the last Starke in the walls. Far too valuable to risk like Historia. Not to mention, after Ivy's parting words to come back for Ida, we don't know if Marley would target her because she is a Starke. Concerns were also made about the civilians' perception of her by the time the newspapers are released… and because of that…"

"What, four eyes? Don't fucking stop there."

"They also suggested that Ida be placed under the direct protection of the central government. The MPs will be guarding her in her estate at Sina."

Levi kept his gaze firmly leveled on her as she spoke. He knew what that meant. The Survey Corps would no longer have full jurisdiction over Ida. As if he'd allow that. It was far too dangerous. Tsk, but it wasn't like Hanji would allow that either—

He visibly stilled when he felt Hanji's expectant gaze. She was waiting for a reaction from him. The realization crept onto him slowly.

The Captain was snarling before he knew it, "Don't tell me you fucking trust them to protect her?"

"I believe a level of trust is necessary between the three—"

"You saw what they asked of her! You know what that pig Zackly wants her to do! We can't just…" Levi fixed his jaw, grimacing, "...hand her over to them…"

"We are in this together, Levi," Hanji remained unperturbed in the face of his anger. "All of us. Every single Subject of Ymir within Paradis. In the face of a larger enemy now, we cannot be divided. Surely, you understand this? Ida will still be within our reach, we can keep an eye on her. And I have Zackly's assurance that the matter of extending the Starke bloodline will be put on hold for now—"

"No!" Levi slammed his hand on the table. "Fuck his damn assurance! We can't—"

"We have to," Hanji interrupted. "You don't believe that this isn't the right thing to do, Levi. You can't let your judgment be clouded by this right now—I know it's difficult—"

"Did you tell her yet?"

Hanji pressed her lips together. "No. And I won't agree to anything before Ida consents to it herself."

He breathed heavily out of his nose and released his grip on the table. He paced around the room for a long time, before he racked his fingers through his hair, "Fucking... fine. But can I leave it to you to break the news to her?"

Hanji raised an eyebrow above one of her lenses. "You're not going to see her now that you're back?"

"I am, but fuck, you know her."

"Yes, I am aware of your soft spot for her."

He shot a dirty glare at her unnecessary remark.

"If you're wondering, Fischer has already left the headquarters by the time I arrived yesterday," she said, changing the topic. "She's been in her room since, might want to go there soon."

He grunted and swiftly moved out of his seat. "I'm not discussing this with you, Hanji. I've enough of your shit for one day."

"Wait, Levi," Hanji called before he had the chance to leave.

"What?"

Hanji's face was now stiff. She looked like she was wrestling with something internally. "I'm guessing… Ida hasn't told you anything yet?"

He studied her curiously. Why was she beating around the bush?

"If you got something to say, spit it out."

She sighed and quickly migrated her gaze away. "Nothing. You should go to her."

There was something in the way Hanji dismissed him that irked him. Strangely, it made him feel like he was out of the loops of sorts.

"Out with it, four eyes," he growled, annoyed. "You know I hate games like these the most."

She sighed deeply once again. "I am aware."

"Then?"

"But it's not in my place to tell you," Hanji stated, holding his gaze seriously now. She kept herself busy by arranging a pile of paperwork on her desk as she continued talking, "And before you talk to her, give my words some serious thought. Though yes, we might suffer a huge loss with Ida not being among our ranks, and yes, I wouldn't say I trust Zackly entirely either, but it's better than putting her at serious risk of getting killed or captured by Marley. I'd say it's a safer bet to let her stay with forces we can control rather than to put her in a dangerous situation, don't you agree?"

He clamped his lips together, unable to argue with that. Levi muttered an expletive and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Why was he so agitated? When had he become this pathetic?

Fuck, it was for the best, was it? This was the best choice available to them now.

Damn bastard. Get a hold of yourself.

"I didn't want to say this, but I have only managed to put this topic off with Zackly and the rest until the funeral ceremony for the Corps is over. They are adamant she retires from the Survey Corps."

His gray eyes turned steely at that, "And if we don't follow what those rat bastards want?"

Hanji appeared to consider his serious question for a moment, a finger tapping on her desk. "Well… I doubt that they'd do anything to the Corps currently, but I fear that eventually when the time comes—"

Without warning, Levi slammed his fist against the side of her bookcase, making her jump. Several heavy books tipped onto the floor with a thud. He glared at the wooden structure for a long time and saw faces—of Darius, Pixis, Nile, and the rest of the shits—before he dropped his hand back to his side.

Fucking bastards…

They weren't even giving Ida a choice.

"I'll talk to her," Levi said in a tight voice, bending over to pick up the books he dropped. "But even if Ida does go to Sina," he glared at the book in his hand, and then back at her, "no one will force her to do anything she doesn't want."

Steadily, Levi placed the books back to the bookshelves and squared his jaw. It made him feel queasy to even imagine how uncertain Ida's future was. "Erwin left her to me—to protect her. She is... my responsibility."

Hanji didn't say anything to reply to that. Maybe she had sensed something heavy on his mind and wanted to give him space. Not that he gave a fuck. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears. His heart pounded in his chest. Though he kept his face cold, the truth of it all, Levi was seething.

And his anger was entirely directed towards one person.

Himself.

The long-buried emotions started to resurface, unbidden, and the flash of Ida lying on Reiss Chapel circled back to his mind and haunted him once again.

Had he learned nothing? How could he be so fucking stupid?

He had sworn to himself to never find himself in that position again. Sworn to himself that as a long as he was alive, he would never allow anything to happen to her.

He had sworn that he would make her…

Happy...

And Levi knew, damn it, he fucking knew. The best way to ensure a happy future for Ida was for him to take her away from here—to hide her somewhere safe. Them against the world.

Far away from the military, far away from the war, and even further away from all those pieces of shit who wanted to use her. Levi was even partially convinced that was what Erwin would've wanted as well.

Being placed under Zackly's jurisdiction or to continue fighting in the Survey Corps. Neither option that Ida had right now was safe for her.

But as Levi stood in front of Hanji, her single amber eye cautiously watching him, he couldn't find the strength to say it aloud. Levi couldn't bring himself to voice such a selfish suggestion. Not when he was the one who damned his oldest remaining friend to a lonely fate as Commander.

Levi couldn't bring himself to commit to such a selfish desire when so many comrades had died to get them this far.

He couldn't… drop everything for her.

Never enough.

The words echoed in his ears. Levi's fingers flexed as he whirled around, grimacing.

Words unspoken, selfish desires unconveyed, Levi hastily left, heart tumbling down to his boots with sickening velocity.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She was running.

There was something—someone chasing after her. Ida looked back and felt her insides turn into water. The dark was rushing up to her. She couldn't let it touch her, she had to keep running. Faster. If she ran faster, it wouldn't touch her.

If it didn't touch her, she could escape.

"Why are you running?" A voice spoke to her. It was Elsie's voice, but Ida knew it wasn't her mother talking.

"This is a dream…" she panted, "this is a dream…"

"How far can you run?"

The dark suddenly caught up to her. Ida screamed. The darkness she was submerged in was only momentarily. Soon, images started to appear. Whether in her mind or around her, Ida did not know.

They were memories it seemed.

Among the flicker images Ida saw Laena, Jaron, and Elsie. But those were all that she could recognize.

Then, the images convoluted together and Ida saw the world beyond the Walls. A tapestry of evergreen. Beautiful and serene it was, yet the world beyond was plagued by Titans. Ida looked back and saw an endless spread of water. It was the sea, the saltwater lake that Armin wanted to see.

At the docks that lined the sea, a boat was departing.

And Ida saw herself on it—but it wasn't herself, it was Ivy.

Suddenly, Ivy lifted her eyes from the still waters and stared back at her too.

"No!" Ida screamed, hands outstretched in desperation. "Don't go! Don't—"

"Do not fear, you will meet her again."

She whirled around, trying to find the source of the voice, "How?!"

The voice did not answer her. The next time Ida blinked, she was standing in front of an immense tree. It rivaled those of the Forest of Giant trees, but from the sheer majestic architecture of it, Ida knew it was different.

It felt magical and alive… even powerful.

Ida clutched her head, grimacing at the ache in her skull. It all felt so muddled in her head.

Tree…?

The sudden realization set in her green eyes.

I've seen this tree before… the memory shard before the expedition…

Now that Ida was up close to it in person, she felt a strange sense of familiarity to it. It gradually occurred to why.

It looks like the insignia of the Starkes. What was it that Jaron once called it…?

The…

"Yggdrasil…"

As soon as the name escaped her, her gaze snagged on the large gaping in the middle of the trunk. Like a vortex of a dark abyss, she felt as if it wanted to suck her in. Ida walked towards in a trance. She didn't know how, but she knew it was calling her—she knew the voice was coming from there.

When she reached the tree, she cautiously placed her hand on the bark. The skin on her palms throbbed with heat. Ida's eyebrows bunched together in confusion.

"It's warm?"

Her ears perked up when she heard the familiar growl of Titans.

Every danger alarm blared in her body. Ida gasped and froze in fear when she saw a massive horde of Titans approaching—jaws wide, hands outstretched for her.

"Now, Ida, choose. Confront your destiny, or die."

She stared uncomprehendingly at the Titans. Death reached for her, screaming. Ida took off, plunging down the gaping hole of the tree.

The dark water pierced her skin like daggers upon impact. From the height she jumped, it felt like crashing into cement. Icy cold water rushed up, filling her lungs. Swirls of waves fought for her and threw her against the heavy undercurrent.

Her limbs locked as Ida closed her eyes and captured peace.

Why was she even fighting?

She didn't want to fight death any longer, she had been fighting against it for too long.

Now, all Ida wanted to do was to find peace and comfort in him. Buried and engulfed—the cold water, once piercing and unrelenting, slowly became warm and amorous.

"But will you be okay with all that you're leaving behind?"

Her eyes snapped open. Levi's solemn face rushed into her mind and it convoluted her serenity. Her terrified thoughts went to her womb—to the life growing within her.

"Fight."

The bubbles started seeping from her mouth.

"If you look back, you are lost!"

Her hips rolled, urging her feet to push. Slowly, the adrenaline hit. Her lungs screamed from a lack of oxygen. Strong arms tugged against the heavy water. Ida saw a hand reach out to assist her—she did not know who it was—but she decided it was salvation.

And Ida held fast to the hand—to her destiny.

With a strong pull, the surface came up to her. She was back on land. Relinquishing her strength, Ida dropped to her knees and coughed the residual water in her lungs.

Damn it, what was that—

Her muddled thoughts came to a halt when a roar of thunder boomed in the dark sky. Ida realized she wasn't at the tree any longer. There were no Titans either.

This scenery is different…?

She heaved quick pants. A spread of greenery spread before her. She shivered, the relentless rain pelting from the sky showered her with spiteful chills.

Another roaring thunder resonated in the crying sky.

And then, Ida saw them and knew she was in another memory.

"Laena...?"

Donning a simple dress, kneeling on the ground, her ancestor's figure was sorrowful. Blood covered half her white skirt. A hand was kept pressed at the slash wound on her waist to staunch the bleeding, another loosely around the hilt of her sword. The rain that washed over her created a puddle of red beneath her.

A man towered before her defeated frame. Expression impassive, the stranger merely blinked the water out of his eyes and pointed his sword at her.

"You've fought well, Laena Starke. As expected of the famed warrior of your family."

Ida held her breath.

There was blood on his sword.

She looked back to Laena's waist. The contents of the last vision belonging to Laena's memory, the one with her brother, quickly inundated Ida. Her fingers pulled together when she realized what was happening.

"Pick up your sword and fight," the man said. "I'll give you an honorable death."

Finding hilarity in his statement, Laena chuckled grimly. "Honor? Tell me, Remus Ackerman, when has there been any honor in killing?"

Ida darted her eyes back to the man.

Ackerman.

Levi's ancestor.

Remus was unperturbed by her remark. Honor would not allow him to cut down an enemy who had lost the will to fight, "Pick up your sword, Starke. I've seen you in battle before. That wound will not deter you."

There was silence from her. Laena made no attempts to pick up her sword.

"No," she finally whispered. "I will not fight any longer. Finish your orders, sir."

Remus appeared momentarily confused. "You… you knew I was dispatched to kill you?"

"Indeed… who else but the loyal dog of the royal family?"

He clenched his jaw. Her answer did not sit well with him. "You knew, and yet you delivered yourself to my manor without your household guards, wearing a dress—not armor, armed with a just sword?" Anger blared in his cold irises, "What are you plotting, Starke?"

"Would you believe me if I say I'm not plotting anything…?" Laena held her head down. Her long, wet red hair hung from her face like drapes.

"Pick up your sword."

Laena smiled self-deprecatingly. "I'm well aware of our differences, I can never defeat you."

"The Laena Starke I know would've fought to her last breath."

There was another long silence from her. Finally, Laena peered up to him and in a gentle voice said, "This won't be new to you… you have cut down unarmed children… does it make any difference if I were to fight to the death with you...? Would it be any more... honorable...?"

A nerve in his temple jumped, but Remus did not defend himself.

Laena sighed as the rain continued to stream down her paling face, "I'm tired of fighting... isn't it the same for you? This civil war that my family started… how many had perished? Just how many… have we killed…?" Painful memories embroidered in her twisted face, "We both have lost too much in this war... me, my husband, and you… your parents… I…" Laena shook her head, "I do not wish to fight any longer..."

Remus's face darkened with confusion. He did not understand why she was behaving this way. She was behaving too out of character for him to understand. She was unlike the shrewd and cold-blooded widow he knew.

"However, if I may be so bold to ask…" Laena continued quietly, "...would you hear my last words…?"

Remus's facial expression remained closed and contrite. He didn't breathe for a good thirty seconds. He slowly nodded, wary of what she had to say.

Laena's lips pressed into a pained, yet grateful smile.

"When I die, please take my family's ring and pass it to my son, Jaylen Starke, who will take over as the new head..." Laena paused, taking a moment to exhale sharply. Distant sounds of thunder bellowed overhead while she spoke, "My sons and my brother… I've made plans for the future of my house. My heir will give up our position as a great house and retire from politics forever. Please… tell his Majesty, that no Starke shall ever awaken in the future… nor will the knowledge of our power be passed onto our descendants… I humbly ask to seek his cooperation on this..."

His thin brows crumpled. "You will give up your family power?"

Remus was in disbelief by what she was saying, especially since he knew that the Starkes were usually power-hungry entities.

"Yes…"

"Why?" he demanded.

With her shoulders slumped and head hung low, her silence reigned. With exaggerated slowness, Laena regarded the sword Remus was still pointing at her. Its gleaming edge reflected the lightning in the sky.

Remus's shoulder visibly stiffened when he noticed what she was staring at.

"The heirloom of the Ackermans… just how many Starkes have fallen by that sword alone…?" Misery engulfed her green eyes, made more pronounced with her agonizing words, "...my entire family… uncles, aunts, mother and father… even my cousins who were no more than little children…"

Laena chuckled, a single tear escaping her bottom lashes, "My brother and I were the only ones left alive after the brutal persecution… two Starke babies against the might of the Ackermans and Fritz… left to live in fear and walk on eggshells our entire lives..."

She sucked in a resolute breath and squeezed her eyes together. "Now… I just want everything to end with me… please grant me my wish..."

Remus tightened his grip on the sword of his family. It was apparent that he didn't even want to hold it. He didn't want to fight either. Maybe he felt pity for Laena's situation. But it wasn't just that. There was something deeper—something like… remorse…?

That was when Ida realized what Laena had said had riled something within him.

Was he involved in the persecution of the Starkes…?

Her eyes widened when she saw the guilt pooling in Remus's eyes.

He was.

"Forgive me, sir," Laena whispered, "I… I do not mean it that way… I do not resent you… you did what you had to do. You are duty-bound to the King… to your host… and you…" her lips curled ruefully, "...you are just another victim of my accursed family, tied to a cruel bloodline and those you serve…."

"Victim?" Remus parroted, bewildered. "What do you mean by that, Laena?"

Laena only regarded him with an apologetic smile. Her silent response came with a roar of thunder that infiltrated the tense atmosphere.

Remus gritted his teeth, appearing to realize she wouldn't answer his question—she would take her secrets to the grave.

The awakening of the Starkes. The knowledge she obtained from the Will of Odina.

Everything would end with her. Just as Laena wanted.

Another pained moment passed before he finally sighed and asked, "Do you have any last words for your family?"

Holding his gaze, Laena eradicated any emotions from her face. "I've fulfilled my duty, there's nothing more for me to say…"

With great difficulty, she positioned herself and angled her head out, ready to finalize it all.

"Please, I beg you… release me from this wretched seat as Lady of the Starkes. Let me end this..."

As though her final words of conviction struck a nerve, Remus tipped his head back in misery. Droplets of rainwater sprinkled onto his face, the streaks of lightning reflecting in his eyes.

He took another pondering moment to himself.

"P—Please... I have to die..."

Remus closed his eyes quickly for a brief reprieve when he heard Laena's last bone-chilling plea. After a few passing breaths, he returned his attention to her.

And all Ida could see was a heart-wrenching pain in his expression—that and remorse. He did not want to kill her. Never wanted to prosecute her family. He knew about the injustice that plagued her life. She was not responsible for the sins of her forefathers.

But Remus understood what she was doing: Laena wanted to die for her family.

For their safety, she had to die.

She had come today willingly, to offer her life for the greater good of her family and Remus couldn't refuse. Duty-bound he was. He had to obey orders no matter the injustice, silently wrathful that he had to be the one to swing his sword and bear the sin.

He had to bear the sin, knowing Laena was nothing like her predecessors.

She was innocent.

Like the little Starke children… and all the other innocent Starkes he had cut down during the massive prosecution decades back…

"Lady Laena Starke, you are hereby sentenced to die…" as Remus said this, he slowly moved to the side of the kneeling woman, "...by the will of King Fritz..."

A small relieved voice came from Laena, distant and far off.

"Thank you… Ackerman…"

Remus closed his eyes in pained resignation. He nodded at her words. No longer wanting to delay the inevitable, he positioned his sword for the swing. Foreboding thunder heralded the sin. From there, everything seemed to play out in slow motion.

Only that it wasn't.

One swift skillful swing was all it took.

A quick, merciful death followed.

Ida's heart stopped when Remus swung his sword. Hot blood spurted out, spaying against the thrashing rain. A headless body thudded loudly to the ground in a red puddle.

Laena's decapitated head rolled, stopping right in front of her.

Holding her breath, Ida slowly brought her eyes downwards.

Lightning momentarily blinded the gruesome image.

Laena's eyes were still wide open, mouth slightly agape. Yellow streaks shone in a backdrop of emerald until they faded and her irises became hollow. The sight of her ancestor's decapitated head should've been a grotesque sight, something that should've gotten her stomach-churning.

But there was none of that, there was no pity even.

Because Ida knew that in her last moments, death was more of a release for her.

For Laena Starke had done her duty and protected her family.

The earth-shattering roar of the monstrous thunder boomed again in the distance. The rain grew more violent with thrashes of wind accompanying the worsening storm. The Ackerman bent over and took the ring off her corpse's finger.

Remus stood up straighter as he glared at the innocuous item. The tree. The Yggdrasil. The insignia of a Starkes. Appearing to have come to a damning conclusion, he shut his eyes and tilted his head upwards.

For a long moment, he did nothing but allowed the rainwater to pelt down on him.

"Forgive me…" he apologized silently to the crying sky. "I…"

And as destiny played out and the wheel of fate churns, Remus stood there sorrowfully alone. With one hand enclosed on her family's accursed ring and another on his family's bloody sword, Ida thought he looked miserable, so melancholic and sorrowful… but at the same time, righteous, duty-bound, and so… immaculately strong…

A sad smile tilted Ida's lips.

Just like Levi.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She slipped out of the memory-dream and back into the despairing reality. Her sticky skin indicated melting temperature. Ida's pounding headache picked up the pace.

She swallowed hard and blinked back the involuntary tears when Laena's words rushed back, unbidden and grim, "Sacrifices have to be made to protect our family."

Her conversation with Seth followed the dark reminder, "Listen to me, this isn't just about you any longer; you're not doing this just for yourself. This is the only way, Ida."

A dry smile tugged her lips.

But do I have such a right to seal his or her life?

Do I have such a right to…

The sensation of someone moving in the dark near the dresser alerted her. She knew who it was. Ida recognized the presence. She slipped out of the covers. Levi must've been deep in thought because he didn't even notice her coming up behind him.

She slipped her hands around his waist and pressed her face to his back. "Welcome back."

Levi froze, fingers pausing mid-way of removing his cravat. He eventually relaxed. "Did I wake you?"

"No… I just…" her voice tripped in her throat, "...missed you."

She regarded him with a smile and started helping him to undo his cravat. Throughout it, Levi remained alarmingly quiet, appearing to be deep in thought.

"Hanji said you had something to tell me."

Ida paused and held his gaze. Right to the point. That was always Levi's style. She kept silent and continued to remove his cravat from his neck. When she was done, she began to fold it neatly.

"What is it?" Levi continued, his tone holding an anxious edge now. She was behaving too odd for him. He was worried. "You said we needed to talk before as well."

She smoothed the creases of the fabric, knowing that he liked it pressed and neat.

The lies came naturally. "I just wanted to discuss with you about what I found. I have tried to find another way. I had hoped that Jaron had uncovered the method to remove the curse of Titans, but it's either Jaron never got that far, or… it was destroyed."

She placed the folded cravat in the drawers.

"And you were acting weird around me. I just thought, maybe we should talk," Ida gave him a light smile. "I don't think it's necessary any longer, right?"

From the way Levi's eyes narrowed, he was measuring up the severity of her statement. She fought to keep her face painfully cold.

Right now, Levi was probably wondering why she appeared so tortured.

And right now, he was probably ridden with guilt, thinking that it had to do with Erwin.

Finally, Levi squared his jaw and looked away. That was when Ida realized she was accurate in her assumptions. Ida made no attempt to correct him. His guilt was the only thing keeping Levi from asking anymore. Levi feared opening a barely stitched wound. It was a deplorable thing of her to take advantage of, but it had to be done.

Because whatever she would do from now on, the fates of both would be sealed two-folds. The fate of both their child and Levi's.

"Hanji spoke with the Zackly and the rest of today, in regards to you."

Ida was grateful for the change in conversation. "I've heard."

"They want to move to Wall Sina. You'll be placed under the central's government jurisdiction."

She smirked. How blunt. But she saw it coming.

"I see."

"And?" The frustration at her indifference was mounted in Levi's deadpan voice.

She raised a brow. "And what?"

"What do you want to do?"

Levi closed the distance between them. He fell silent as his eyes traced her face. Ida stared back at his taut features, her chest constricting from the mere sight of it.

His eyes were inches from her, but now their differences were so substantial she could touch it.

How many times have I touched this face? Kissed this face? Loved and hated this face?

Why does the intensity to touch it again feel so foreign? Ida took in at the curvature of Levi's structure; his darkened narrowed eyes, his sculpted nose, and his thin lips. Why are the physical features of some people so prominent that it makes them that much harder to forget...?

He hesitated briefly before Levi reached out to touch her. Calloused fingertips trailed down from her shoulder, down to her arms, before they gripped onto her, "Listen…"

"Mhm?"

Levi gritted his teeth, forcing the words out, "You know it as damn well as I do… we can't trust them. Zackly, Nile, all of those old shits. If you are placed under the central government's full control then there's no saying what they might do in the future." His gray eyes darkened as if reminded by the unsavory topics brought up at the recent joint meeting. "If you don't want to leave, you don't have to adhere to what those fuck wants."

Levi knew all the intimate details about her; how she worked, how she thought. He knew her better than anyone.

Or did he? Ida wondered. Did he know what a truly selfish being I am?

Her broken heart throbbed. She could tell in his eyes that she'd fooled herself into believing that he knew her. Because Levi was wrong in everything he believed she embodied.

Righteous.

Duty-bound.

Selflessness.

But perhaps, all throughout her career as a scout, she too had deluded herself in believing she was as honorable as her comrades.

She felt his grip tightened on. He was desperate for a response, for some way to assure her. For some way to get the tormented expression off her face. "Even if you do go… and even if there's a need for it in the shitty future, I won't let them force you to do anything. Hanji and I won't fucking let them—if anything goes wrong—"

"Would you start another coup?" she asked quietly, regarding him with a hopeless smile. "Overturn the government again, when only four months had passed since the last uprising?"

A nerve jumped in his clenched jaw. Her eyes enlarged slightly when Ida realized Levi had actually considered such a proposition. It was ludicrous to think that such a rational level-headed man was entertaining such an idea. Back then, they were only successful in the coup because they had the full might of the Corps along with the rest of the military branches.

Their circumstances were different now.

They didn't have the strength in numbers, didn't have Erwin's strategic planning, didn't have the support of the other branches.

Maybe this was the Ackerman in him that was speaking. Ida pondered if it was because of the bloodline of warriors in his veins that was causing him to act so foolishly.

"Don't," she whispered to him, "I can't do that to Hanji, and not even to Pixis and the rest. Another coup will cause more unrest among the civilians."

Levi stared at her, frowning.

"I don't deserve to be excused from suffering more than anyone else, I'll talk to them and make the decision myself. I will decide my own fate."

He scoffed at her statement. Levi knew it wasn't any consolation at all. From the way he kept silent, he realized where she was going with this. But he wouldn't give her up that easily. It was too dangerous. Losing her was not an option for him.

But Ida also knew he loved her for it—her selflessness, her consideration for him, and for humanity. And she counted on it. Despite the conflicting thoughts, she knew that he would've understood more than anything that her leaving the Survey Corps was the best way.

"Hey," she gave him an assuring smile and touched his face, bringing his eyes back to hers. "Don't worry about it. You said it before, right? I wouldn't stand for it. No one can force me to give birth to a child."

He sighed tiredly, tormented by his own conclusion. Levi closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, never looking more content as he reveled in her company. "It won't come to that."

She smiled wryly at his assuring words that held no merit.

How do you know that? Ida thought, just moments ago, you said they couldn't be trusted.

Why was it so hard to believe him now? Ida had never doubted Levi's ability to do anything but at the moment she did.

Her eyes scanned his striking face. And she saw the unsaid words, "Believe in me," his painful silence conveyed it all. "Not in destiny but me. I will end this war."

Melting under his unkeepable promises, the doubts scattered just as easily as they came. Ida closed her eyes and relished in his company for a long time. Foolish perhaps. But Ida found that despite everything, she believed him; believed in his strength, his power, his love for her.

But that was the point. That was why she was lying to him.

The image of Remus rushed to her mind, and Ida felt the pain and saw the lonesome figure of a duty-bound soldier.

She couldn't make it anymore harder for him.

Because what Ida never believed in was humanity's innate selfishness. What Ida had fooled herself into believing was that she was okay to sacrifice her loved ones for the greater good. Neither did she believe in her capability in finding another way to remove the Titan's curse without utilizing the demented way of sacrificing her unborn child as a new Starke Titan to trigger her powers.

And she wouldn't gamble with the risk of attempting to secure Ivy—because the failure to do so would be detrimental. So much. She had given up so much for humanity already. Her parents, her friends, and now they were asking for her unborn child.

Ida didn't believe in the greater good, not for any longer.

And it was this fundamentally small difference between them that created a chasm.

"Levi," Her heart seemed to rip in her chest, and it almost made her quiet voice crack. "Kiss me."

Levi stared back at her, perturbed by her sudden request.

She smiled at him sadly. Not too long ago, Ida was fighting for the same reasons as him. When they won the battle, they were so close to the freedom they wanted. But now, as Ida was with the man her heart was forever bound to, she knew she had to escape.

At the present moment, none of the options were viable to them, but one.

Suddenly, Levi yanked her closer to him.

"Come here."

The words were bland, like an order to a subordinate, but when Levi's lips touched hers with a roughness he was never able to shed, Ida felt it. Felt his love, felt his undying passion, felt the sparks and magic. She made a small sound of surprise before her fingers found her way to his hair.

With no more inhibitions, Levi kissed her like a man possessed—like a man who had finally found true paradise. At that moment, they no longer cared about anything else. They no longer cared about the cruel world or what was in store for them in the future. All that mattered to them was the here and now.

All that mattered to them was their timeless distraction before the storms hit.

Maybe, Levi had thought he had convinced her.

Maybe, Levi had thought this was her answer.

Maybe, Levi had thought she believed in them.

And so, unable to bring herself to deny everything Levi was thinking, Ida allowed him to kiss her, allowed herself to melt into him, allowed herself to reach for the buttons of his shirt. Selfishly, disgustingly and never more in touch with her human emotions, Ida shut her eyes and allowed herself to indulge irrationally.

Each touch, each kiss, each shared breath—loving, incessant, agonizing, and it were all reminders of a deep-rooted realization that tugged her crying soul in both directions.

Ida touched him, and she knew.

They were living on borrowed time.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Levi knew Ida was up to something. He could read her like a book.

But whenever he asked, he would be vehemently met with an: "It's nothing, I just want to be with you right now."

Levi grew frustrated with the ceaseless silent battles; Ida would not yell, she would not snap, she would not even ignore him. In fact, she even initiated much of their time together. The change in demeanor was so different from how Levi knew Ida used to express her grief or frustration that he thought occasionally she was an imposter.

Of course, she wasn't, and so Levi was left unsure how to approach the situation.

Although he knew something was wrong and despite all the fussing about in his head, he eventually decided it was wiser not to venture and explore it.

In the bustling room filled with soldiers and officers, Levi felt his mood sour tenfold. Normally, Erwin would say a few words about bravery and dedication to duty and other such bullshit during these sorts of funeral services.

He hated it.

Not because Erwin wasn't here any longer, but more so because he knew the only real way to give deaths meaning, was to get back out there as soon as possible and carry on. No shitty service was going to bring them comfort—not even when it was meant to honor the fallen heroes who took back Wall Maria.

Bollocks these ceremonial services were. All fuss and no fucking show.

"What are we supposed to do now without Erwin?!"

It was Floch who said those words.

The arguments went on between his squad and Floch.

Shit. If they were going to talk about it, they should've been more mindful of their surroundings.

Levi inhaled deeply and leaned back to the pillar behind him. He wondered why he was torturing himself with this everyday. He has chosen Armin. And he had no regrets in his decision.

What was the fucking point, really?

"Hey!" Jean shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Shuffling of boots was heard, along with some shoving and pushing.

"Floch is right," came Armin's disquiet voice. "Commander Erwin is the one who should've lived."

"Stop it. All of you. Are you even aware of where we are now?"

Levi shoved his hands in his pockets, tilting his head from behind the pillar at the intrusion of Ida's voice. Dressed in her military attire, Ida didn't allow her small stature to deter the sternness that saturated from her aura.

She gestured for them to disperse. "Break it up. Connie's right. What is done is done, cease this argument immediately."

Red-faced, Floch was appalled, "You're okay with this?"

Levi had to bite his tongue to avoid a loud 'tsk'.

"Floch." Ida's voice held an air of annoyance now. "Drop it."

"Erwin is your father—and your lover killed him because he was swayed by his emotions!"

"Floch."

The warning imbued in his name made everyone silent.

"I will not discuss this with you," Ida continued with ice, "this matter is between me and Captain Levi. In fact, if I, Erwin's daughter, did not say anything in regards to Levi's choice—who are you to say anything?"

Levi's heart skipped uncomfortably, a small breath escaping from his lips as though the wind had suddenly been knocked out of him.

Floch's tone grew deadly. The boy didn't know when to give up or when to stop pushing the buttons. "Don't deny it. You know it, everyone who reads the report knows it—Erwin was the better choice."

"He might be," Ida retorted calmly. "However, there's no point mulling over what should've been. Armin took down the Colossal Titan just by wits alone, you give him far too little credit."

"He's your father!" Floch shouted, enraged. "How are you okay with this?!"

Silence permeated the air, tense with anticipation for the imminent explosion of Ida's anger. Levi thought that he should intercede now, but before he could Jean tried to drag Floch away, "Man, enough. Just stop it—"

"No," Ida stopped Jean, surprisingly calm. "Let him speak."

Floch shoved Jean off him and gladly obliged. "What kind of a daughter are you? Everyone has been thinking about it, but no one dares to say it out loud. After what that Captain Levi has done, how can you even stand to be around him? Why are you stopping me from defending the Commander—of what was the right thing to do?!"

Ida scoffed and shook her head. She was silently pensive for a long while, before her green eyes grew cold, "I suppose it is hard to understand, but you got something wrong. What you're doing isn't right. You aren't defending Erwin—you're making use of him."

Floch snarled, "No I am not—"

"You didn't know Commander Erwin for long, obviously you didn't form any attachments towards him as a comrade or friend," Ida snapped. "Which brings me to believe that the only reason why you are so vocal about him surviving is because… you see him as a tool."

She started walking towards him.

"Levi might've wronged me, but what you're doing right now is far more repulsive than what he did." Ida paused beside Floch, her voice deadly, "You said you were a coward, and you're right about that, Floch. But even dispensable cowards and fodders should know… the feeling of being used as nothing more than a tool."

Floch stared at her with wide eyes, speechless.

"The next time you say a word about Captain Levi or Armin again, I will not sit back. This is my last time saying it." She tilted her chin up to glare at him. "Drop it."

With that warning, Ida left and swept deeper into the sea of officers.

Levi dipped around the side of the pillars. His back pressed to the stone cool surface. The full weight of what had transpired between Ida and him ever since Erwin's death suddenly seemed materialized on his shoulders.

He squared his jaw.

"Erwin is your father—and your lover killed him because he was swayed by his emotions!"

He grimaced as the gravity of Floch's words resounded in his head.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"Eren."

Standing by the door, Ida took in Eren's form. He stood in front of the bathroom sink. Water plastered his hair to his cheeks and the front of his uniform was wet. She frowned when she saw he was gripping onto the edges of the sink so hard that his knuckles were actually white.

Eren swiped his face with his hand to get rid of the residual water. He didn't even look at her when he replied.

"What are you doing here? This is the male's bathroom."

She pursed her lips at the ice in his tone. Ida shut the door. The atmosphere surrounding them was quiet, anticipatory. She regarded Eren for a moment longer before she folded her arms and got straight to the point of why she followed him here. She had already waited until the ceremony was over, there was no point fussing over it.

"Drop the act. It's just us here."

Eren kept his firm gaze on the mirror to his reflection. His expression was unbidden and careful, yet the small bristle on his shoulders spoke volumes. "I don't know what you're talking about—"

"I felt it."

This time, Eren met her eyes. She couldn't read them. They were hollow, frigid, and devoid of emotions. It was a strange sight to take in. There used to be a fire in his eyes. A fire that drove him to fight for freedom, now his irises look disconcertingly clouded.

She approached carefully, "During the ceremony when you touched Historia. I felt it—I felt the Titan's power."

Eren straightened up like a pole when she reached him, stance defensive.

Ida searched his face worriedly. "What exactly happened?"

Eren simply stared at her for a moment, then migrated his gaze away. He made no attempt to even reply to her question. This worried her. Ida contemplated what he was thinking about. It had to be drastic, for his eyes seemed to have refocused, and the fire had returned.

"Eren," she probed. "Was it another vision? If you saw something, then—"

His teeth met together in a fierce clench. The muscle in his jaw jumped when he replied in a tight voice, "It's nothing."

"I can feel the power of Titans," Ida argued, frowning. "You can't lie to me. I felt it when you touched Historia and your reaction afterward—"

"You're wrong," Eren continued to deny. "Nothing happened."

Ida wouldn't back down. It was a wild theory, but if physical contact with a Starke Titan was the trigger to activate her powers, then it wouldn't be so far-fetched to assume the same thing to happen when he touched Historia wouldn't it?

So what if… what Eren needed to utilize the full Founding Titan power was contact with a royal blooded Titan?

Ida couldn't exactly be sure of her theory—but she was certain of what she felt and was certain of the change the end of the battle brought to them. The change the fateful meeting with Ivy caused in her. She was certain of what she felt.

"Don't avoid me. Talk."

Eren refused to meet her eyes. "Get out."

His defensive reaction said it all—the idea that a royal blooded Titan being a trigger allowed someone out of the Royal bloodline to use the Founding Titan's true power quite frankly brought nausea back tenfold.

But Ida couldn't back down. She had to know. She needed the confirmation.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me. You have been acting weird lately. Even back at the military meeting when you suddenly stood up and—"

"I SAID IT WAS NOTHING!"

Ida's pulse roared in her ears with Eren's sudden outburst. Without warning, he grabbed her and shoved her to the wall. She gasped when her back hit the bricks. Pain spread through her shoulders. She stared at Eren with wide eyes and felt fear lodge in her throat. Eren's face was twisted in rage, she couldn't even recognize him.

He looked almost… dangerous.

"Don't ask any questions!" Eren screamed at the top of his lungs. "Don't ask me anything!"

"Eren?! Wait—"

She cut herself off when Eren slammed his fist to the wall next to her head. Ida stiffened over when she heard his knuckles breaking beside her ear. She held her breath, shocked. Eren was lost—lost in a world of pain, denial, and misery of his own.

"SHUT UP! DAMN IT! DON'T! DON'T ASK ME ANYTHING!"

Stunned, Ida merely stared at him, gaze unwavering yet investigating.

What was going on?

She had never seen him act like this before. Was the Eren she had always known? The same brat who cowered in front of her?

The unbidden reminder that he had killed two grown adults at aged ten flooded her mind.

Slowly, as though realizing his outburst was unwarranted, Eren quietly dipped his head down. He appeared ashamed to even look at her. For a long time, they stayed there. Nothing but Eren's heavy pants could be heard.

Then, Ida heard it.

A small whisper—and the unbridled desperation that came with it.

"Please…"

Eren's shoulder trembled. He shook where he stood. His broken hand dropped back to her shoulder. She felt his grip on her tightening. He was desperate to convince her.

"Please… don't ask me anything…" Eren pleaded again, his chest rising and falling. "Pretend you don't know anything… please..."

Misery and pity embalmed Ida when she heard the desperation coursing through every inch of his frayed voice. Unable to form the words, she studied the young boy before her.

Eren was breaking apart.

He obviously had a reason he couldn't tell her. But Ida knew him. And for reasons beyond her, she trusted him. There had to be a reason and a good one at that.

He was protecting her. From what? The truth probably. Whatever it was, Ida didn't know.

But that was all that mattered to her.

Her small voice broke the weighted silence, "Eren…"

Swallowing past the lump of sadness rising through her, Ida touched his cheeks gently. Eren froze at her unexpected touch. She lifted his head up to look at her. As expected, his eyes were glassy and confused. She smiled at him as a big sister would.

She didn't need to question him any longer.

Because whether Eren knew it or not, she understood him. Better than anyone, she did.

If he wanted to keep Historia safe, then…

"Whatever happened here will remain between us," she said. "I swear to you."

Eren pulled away from her, wary of her words. He didn't say a word but frowned at her. He shook his head as though he didn't believe her.

"Ever since that day when I first saw you… you were humanity's hope… my hope," Ida continued in a measured voice. She wanted to convince him she wasn't his enemy, "And I will always trust you."

Contrary to what Ida had expected, her words didn't reassure him. Instead, Eren squeezed his eyes shut as if whatever she said brought another wave of pain and grief to him. Ida didn't know why, but dread started to pool in her stomach.

Chills after chills formed on her skin when she realized something was terribly off.

Is there… something else…?

Did he see his father's memories? Or…?

As a myriad of emotions constricted her windpipe, Ida wondered if Eren, like her, had seen something that he wished he hadn't.

Something so drastic that…

"I should go."

Ida looked at him desperately as he was starting to leave. Without thinking, she grabbed into a fistful of his uniform. "Eren, whatever it is you saw… I can help you."

He paused but didn't look at her. "You're not just a pawn to be used, Ida. You're not a slave to your name. You don't have to be one."

Ida's brows knitted. Why is he saying this now?

Eren's eyes grew resolute as he looked ahead. Innocence no longer teemed in his gaze. "If I told you that it's better no one knows what I saw, would you believe me?"

His voice was quietly wistful yet firm. Ida felt her heart skip a beat when she observed him. Eren had always towered over her small frame, but now as she looked at him, he appeared larger than usual.

As an involuntary chill crawled down her spine, Ida released him. She let her hand rest against her arm, searching for some way to respond.

Eren grimaced to himself at her silence, "I know it's asking a lot but—"

"I believe you."

The Titan Shifter stared at her, confused.

"I believe you, Eren," Ida repeated.

Because I know what it's like to keep secrets from the people you love.

Ida looked directly at him now, her voice growing in strength and resolution, "Whatever it is you are keeping from me—from us. I believe you."

Because all you want is to protect us.

All you desire is freedom. Our freedom.

Eren continued to gaze at her when she trailed off. Perturbed by his staunch stare, Ida pressed her fist to her stomach as though to mitigate the unease brewing within her. "I trust you," she repeated again. "And I always will."

"Why?" His gaze softened slightly. Eren had realized she was being genuine. "Why do you…"

She gave him a wry smile, "Because…"

Because we are one and the same. Ida stopped herself short. We're products of a world gone mad.

But they would not dwell on it. Could not afford to dwell on it.

Maybe Eren shared her woeful sentiments. Perhaps he even understood because he did not press her further for an answer. As the silence unfolded between them, the despair in Eren's eyes gradually morphed into a vehement rage—a rage that Ida recognized was only driven by desperation.

Eren breathed unevenly, briefly quelling the monster inside him, "I don't think there is any other path for me to take, but I will look for one." He turned to the door, clenching and unclenching his injured knuckles. They bled from the damage he inflicted on the wall. "That scenery… will not happen..."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"Thank you, Ida."

He slipped past the doors. She chased after him. "Eren, wait—"

Ida had thought she would stop him—and she knew she should. For the Survey Corps, for humanity, she should've demanded to know what their most important asset meant by that. She should've insisted on finding out what Eren saw.

But when she saw Eren's retreating back, broad shoulders squared and strong, she found herself unable to do so. She would be lying if she said she was not fearful of the change in Eren, but she had given him her word that she trusted him. She shouldn't pry anymore.

Two children, damned by their own parent's legacy.

How very sorrowful they both were. How sorrowful, and alone.

As Ida lamented both their cruel circumstances, it reminded her of her own dilemma that assailed her the past days.

She tilted her head to the window. Ida narrowed her eyes at the setting sun. Soon the moon and the stars would emerge. Her fingers gripped the medal on her neck rewarded by Historia earlier.

The time is now.

She breathed in deeply. The medal itself was a reminder of who she was now, and who she would be in the next twenty-four hours.

No more putting it off.

The clock was ticking. Before her borrowed time was up, there were still things she had to do and loose ends she had to clean up.

And so, the two soldiers parted ways, respectively down their own paths until it would convergence again.

Forward and forward.

Towards despair, destiny, and…

The future.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Hanji reached to fasten her black eyepatch in place before running a hand over her face. She smiled wryly at her own reflection. The bandages had come off now. Was the eyepatch too much though? She wondered what Mobilt would've thought of it.

She was reminiscing about the mirage of her past when the door to her office swung open.

Hanji raised a brow. "Oh? What a surprise."

Ida merely growled, shutting the door behind her. "Looks good on you."

She laughed lightheartedly. "Makes for an inspiring image, don't you think?"

Ida tsked and plopped herself on the seat in front of her desk. She threw a brown file to her desk. "I didn't come to chat, four eyes."

"I figured that much." Sighing, Hanji took her own seat. She eyed her cautiously, pondering how she should bring the topic up. "I'm assuming this has something to do with how you haven't told Levi yet?"

"Yes."

She was unable to fight off the immediate frown. There was nothing of note in Ida's neutral expression, but from her quick confirmation alone, Hanji was perceptive enough to tell that something had changed drastically within her.

Feigning laughter, she endeavored to break the tension, "Getting cold feet?"

"My pregnancy will continue to remain a secret between us."

The level of resolution in Ida's baritone sent a sudden chill the length of her spine. She was not looking for a round-about conversation. Ida was serious. Dead serious.

Hanji exhaled sharply. Fine. "Why?"

Ida scoffed. "Are you really asking that? Or is my shitty situation not clear enough?"

The Commander adjusted her glasses uncomfortably. She knew what Ida was referring to.

"Your situation is clear," she affirmed flatly. "But I don't see the issue. After you give birth to a Starke heir, the military can rest assured they have safeguarded humanity's interests. Chances are, they'll be well off your back by then and you can even continue in the Survey Corps."

She didn't miss the grit in Ida's teeth. "Humanity's interest, huh?"

Hanji rose a brow at the ice in her voice. The tension was rising in her shoulders. Ida threw her shoulders back and straightened.

"I'm clear of my duties, Commander. I took a vow. That makes me a soldier before anything, I won't deny that. Humanity's interest does align with mine. If necessary I'd be fine to sacrifice myself for the greater good—hell, I'm long resigned to do it, but…"

"But…?" she urged cautiously.

"But that is for me."

Ida held her gaze, deadly serious now.

"I said nothing about my child."

Hanji's thin eyebrows crinkled as Ida went on, resolution anchoring her tone.

"Lest you forget, we still know nothing about the method to remove the power of Titans." She scoffed and shook her head. "Nor do we know much about the shitty powers of the Starke bloodline, really—the point is Hanji, we know nothing. So tell me, if this war drags on beyond my lifespan… if I fall in battle, or if we fail to secure some bloody method during my time, who will this burden of removing the Titan power pass on to?"

Ida's green eyes narrowed, dissecting and firm. "My said child, no?"

The Commander neither confirmed nor denied Ida's claim, merely tilting her head to one side as she regarded her words with serious thought. Truthfully, with so many things on her plate, she had yet to consider looking at it from that perspective.

Ida shook her head sadly. It was evident that her own words were cutting into herself like a knife. "Based on how they acted during the last meeting… could you honestly say that if word got out that I am expecting, would my child be able to make their own choices and grow up, free from military control?"

Hanji pursed her lips in thought. She toyed briefly with sharing this with the government and tried to gauge their actions, or even to engage in some sort of agreement with them. However, it was just as Ida had laid out. Chances are, the child will grow up under the government's watchful eye; a backup, a substitute for its mother should she fail.

A living guarantor that Paradis will always have a way to remove the power of Titans from all Subjects of Ymir.

A brew of anxiousness churned in her chest when this damning thought hit her in droves. Hanji empathized with Ida. She didn't want to condemn an innocent baby—much less her friend's child—to an uncertain hard life either.

"I trust you," Ida continued quietly. "I always have. But if there comes a need for it, to protect my child... I will turn my back on the military and even you."

Her head shot up at that remark. "Are you threatening me, Ida?"

"No. I'm merely making my stance clear—I'm asking for an agreement. I don't want that either."

Despite Ida's denial, Hanji felt her fingers balled out into a fist. Then slowly, she unfurled it and tapped her fingers on her desk. "What does this have to do with telling Levi?"

Ida opened her mouth to protest.

"Wait, let me finish." Hanji held her hand up. "You said you trust me. Then does this trust not extend to Levi as well? Why are you keeping this from him? He deserves to know, Ida. The baby is not just yours, but Levi's as well. I can understand why you think it's best to keep this from the military, however, don't you think you have too little faith in him? I hardly think he is the kind of man to abandon his kid. He is honor-bound—to you, to humanity, and the Corps. You're being selfish by keeping him in the dark. Levi doesn't deserve this."

"Hanji—"

"Ida, he loves you."

Silence settled between them. Hanji waited for what she was sure would be an almighty eruption from Ida. She was convinced she really had gone too far this time, even if it was what Ida needed to hear.

But none came.

"You're right," Ida conceded easily, to her surprise. "Levi deserves to know. This is selfish, I won't deny that. But you're wrong about something. I didn't keep this from him because I don't trust him, but to make it easier on him."

She appraised Ida critically, unable to understand why she came to that conclusion.

"You also said he is honor-bound. I agree. He is—to everything you listed." Ida smirked, yet no amount of warmness seeped into her face, "But one day if Levi has to choose between me, our child, and humanity… what then?"

Ida's face gradually turned ashen. She didn't even want to consider such a hard future.

"Can you answer me Hanji? What will happen then…?"

Before she could answer, Ida rose to her feet. As if it was taking a toll on her to even voice her thoughts out, she gazed out the window and wrapped her hands around her. The last setting sun rays of the day made her figure look even more lonesome.

"I plan to keep this child... but when it's born, I will figure out an arrangement to keep their lineage a secret from everyone."

Hanji's lips parted slightly, but no words followed. She was mystified. What in the three walls was Ida saying?

Surely, she couldn't mean...

"You're thinking of hiding your child?"

Ida visibly flinched. But this small reaction alone told Hanji that she did not have any plans to raise her child by her side—it was too risky, a risk she wouldn't take.

The next thing she knew, Hanji was on her feet, shaking her head. "Ida, don't. Think this through."

She gave her a woeful smile, "The further my child grows up from their parents the better."

"That's not your decision to make alone—"

"And do you think I want this?!" she snapped. "It's already so hard on me! I don't fucking want this either! I don't want to keep him in the dark as my mother did to Erwin—I don't want to give up on my child! But I…" Ida gritted her teeth and then exhaled sharply. "Hanji… sometimes it's best to leave people ignorant… even if it is to protect them."

A long silence suspended over them. It took a few breaths before Ida sighed, "I will be honest with you. If you didn't know about this child already, I would've never told you either."

The way her green eyes dimmed told Hanji just how conflicted Ida was. It tormented her to come to this painful decision, but she saw no other way out.

"I am just safeguarding my family's future, Hanji. I will protect my family, even if it's from me and my demented bloodline."

Hanji stared at her incredulously. "This is Levi you are talking about, he's more resilient than that—"

"And what if he is willing to go through another coup because of this?"

She froze over at her words. At that moment, Hanji realized what Ida was trying to say. She shook internally as her lips parted, but no words left her for a long time. She could not believe that she had not considered any of this.

"Levi wouldn't do that," she eventually said. "He wouldn't."

"I know he wouldn't," Ida's eyes continued to plead for understanding. "But you know as well as I do, he wouldn't settle to just sitting by either."

The beating of her heart grew in franticness and the silence within the room became deafening. Hanji imagined the scenario in her head and an unfounded fear began to grip her mind. The memories during the uprising flashed through her head.

And Hanji remembered.

Levi had wanted to drop everything then; his mission and his duty. He wanted to run after Ida when she left. She had barely managed to stop him. Erwin had predicted this behavior too, didn't he? Wasn't that why he agreed to keep Ida's mission a secret from Levi?

That singular memory made her uneasy in ways that terrified her to her very soul.

Under any other circumstances, Hanji would not have found herself so worked up over the fact that Levi was overprotective of Ida. It was a desire she shared as well. She wanted to safeguard her friend just as badly as he did.

Yet, now that Ida had brought it up that way...

Ida's motives finally made sense now.

And with Erwin gone, the baton had passed to her. The next Commander.

Perhaps the damning realization was clear on her face because Ida soon bestowed on her a relieved smile, "You know it too. This is the best way... for everyone…. For humanity. For me. For Levi… and most importantly…" Coldness seeped into her green eyes, "...for the Survey Corps..."

Hanji swallowed, only realizing now the true weight of the title of Commander came with. Ida was adamant about keeping her child safe. Hidden and ignorant. She would never allow the military to use her child, would never allow Levi to go through this hardship. The stubbornness that emitted from her was a decisive one.

Slowly, the complications of the situation teemed Hanji's grimace, "You don't want this to affect the Corps standing with the military…"

Ida's bittersweet smile was confirmation that she was right on track. "But neither will I allow them to dictate my child's fate."

Her hand was clutching her head before she could stop it. It made sense. Good sense even, but she couldn't accept this. "I still don't think that this right of you to do. It feels… wrong."

"Then what will you do?" Ida challenged, steel underlying her tone. She surged forward, planting both hands on Hanji's desk. "Tell Levi? Or the military?"

"Ida—"

"Answer me."

Hanji didn't shrink back but held her gaze calmly. But her silence was enough of a confirmation for Ida. She was conflicted at the cards Ida had presented her, but Ida would've known very well her mind was processing the same thoughts as hers.

Albeit the anguish in her eyes was undeniable, the enduring love in Ida's words was also difficult to overlook. Ironically enough, she had made this hard decision with Levi—and everyone—in mind.

Even if it was at the expense of herself.

"...I can't… do that to him. No matter how much he loves me, I know what his eventual decision would be," Ida smirked bitterly. "But the decision he will make… will kill him…" She shut her eyes momentarily, resolute in what she had to do, "...and I can't do that to him, Hanji. I can't. This is the best decision for everyone."

The memory of the broken Captain during the uprising haunted her psyche. Hanji squeezed her single shut when she privately arrived at the same conclusion as her.

Ida had spoken the hard truth. Ironically, by keeping this matter in the dark, everyone would benefit. Furthermore, now that she was now the Commander of the Survey Corps, her responsibility lies in the well-being of humanity and in the preservation of the legion.

Like her predecessor, she had to be the one to make the hard decisions now.

No matter how much she hated them.

"I will still work with the Corps to find a way to remove the curse of Titans," Ida smirked darkly. "And if we are unable to find a way or if something happens to me before that—"

"God forbid," Hanji muttered bitterly. She didn't even want to think of what she would be forced to do then.

"—then Hanji, I'll leave it to your discretion on how you want to proceed."

Hanji's eyes expanded in disbelief. Was Ida lying? Based on how adamant she was to protect her child, there was a possibility she was just saying this to get her to agree with her.

"Do you think I would allow anything to happen to your child?"

"No," Ida said easily. "But I'm no fool either. I know how we work. I've been here long enough to know the type of decisions we are forced to make. If the time does ever come, I know you must make a choice as the Commander. I just hope that you can make one… based on your conscience."

Commander. Conscience.

Those two words were never meant to be in the same sentence. Her chest tightened in dread. How much she hated the title that was bestowed upon her at that moment.

How did Erwin put up with this?

Ida regarded her with a small assuring smile, "Don't worry, it won't ever come to that. I have no plans on dying. Not until I find a way."

"If it's as you say, the government will have no need to meddle in your children's life. So what difference would that be?"

Ida exhaled gustily, "You don't understand."

"Then help me understand—"

"I won't sway from my decision," Ida snapped, impatient. "It's either you're with me, or against me, Hanji. Choose."

There was a finality in the way Ida said her name. She wouldn't have it any other way. She wouldn't explain any further either.

Hanji frowned, trying to work out the connection. For some odd reason, a sprout of paranoia ignited in her chest.

Why did she feel as if there was something Ida wasn't telling her?

It just didn't add up.

Why was Ida acting like… her child would be in danger as long as she lived?

Hanji observed her again, weighing the situation on hand. Was she just preparing for every scenario? For her own demise? She debated on probing further but retracted. Knowing Ida, if she had already decided she wanted to keep something from her, nothing would convince her otherwise. She could trust her.

Her mind circled back to the topic on hand. Rationally, Ida's proposition was a good temporary solution. Just until they figured things out or until the child was born. Ida leaving the Survey Corps now would ease the current tension among the military branches. And her safety would safeguard humanity's future for removing the Titan's power later.

Most importantly… the child would be born safe and free.

But, what about Levi then…?

As the Commander of the Survey Corps, what would be the best decision? What would Erwin do in a situation like this? Hanji had never doubted Levi's ability to make the right decision for humanity before, but if there was a chance—just a small chance that…

"What will you have me do now then?" she asked, a long moment later.

"Your meeting with the Premier tonight, yes?"

Wary of where this conversation was turning to, Hanji nodded once.

Ida slid the file she brought over to her. "Tell them, they got what they wanted," she added coolly. "As for what you have to do, just continue maintaining the Corps."

Confused by Ida's words, Hanji opened the file and read its contents.

"Ida—"

When she called her, Ida was already by the door's threshold, "I don't need you to do anything else. Don't worry. I will take care of everything from here. As for Levi, I'll tell him myself."

"Ida!" By the time Hanji rushed to stop her, the door slammed shut.

Agonized over the conversation that had just transpired, Hanji slumped back to her seat. She held her head. Her thoughts were so muddled. Hanji found her gaze darting to the paperwork around her. She smiled ruefully when she caught something.

Erwin's signature.

These were the last documents he approved before his death.

The small remaining presence of him made her feel like he was still there with her. As if he was still there to guide her.

She picked the document up and clenched it in her fist.

"Erwin, what will you have me do...?"

Hanji rested an elbow on the desk and brought her forehead against her enclosed fist.

"Why… did you make me Commander...?"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Her footsteps were heavy as Ida walked in a methodological manner to her destination.

Despite her expression being frozen in place, Ida felt as though anyone could see through her intentions. Her head started pounding in a chaotic rhythm as it battled with her bloody heart.

Gradually the voices inside her strengthened. It has finally come to this. You have made your decision, Ida. If you don't choose, then you lose everything.

For Levi, for your children, for everyone.

You have to do this.

As she walked, the memories flooded her membrane—memories of Levi and her. With each step she took, she continued to relive all the dream-like memories and continued to relish in the moments when they were happy.

All throughout, she agonized over the memory of falling in love with him.

But those thoughts escaped her when she opened the door to the rooftop.

Momentary reprieve washed over her when Levi turned around, sensing her presence. Like her, he was still dressed in his full formal military attire. The green medal adorned both their throats. Against the backdrop of the night sky with stars and a lonesome moon, the darkness that surrounded his eyes looked more pronounced than usual.

The cool air swirled around them.

For a few passing breaths, neither of them moved. They merely stared at each other across the rooftop. Ida wished for the strength to keep her soul alive, but all she could think about was the damnation her life would be tainted with.

Her fingers flexed instinctively. She wanted to touch him—to hold him as she always did in moments like this. Ida wanted to fall right into his arms and whisper that she missed him. Her gnawing feelings competed with one another, between what was right and wrong, between the past and future.

She wanted to cry, she wanted to shout, and she wanted to hit something.

"Hey," she said timidly. "There you are."

"Hm." Levi only nodded once to acknowledge her presence. Then, he turned back to the vast scenery, deep in contemplation.

Ida knew who he was thinking about.

Erwin.

She wondered if he overheard the altercation between Floch and their squad. Every part of Ida's body shouted at her to say something. Alas, the bigger part of her rationale knew that although it saddened her that they became like this, she also understood that at times like this she shouldn't bring up the topic.

The wounds that Erwin left on them were too deep to heal in such a short period of time.

How very sad it was…

Medals on their throats, as if it would erase the brokenness that both of them felt.

A bemused smile waltzed on her lips when the mental image of the three of them together emerged from her memory bank. Had it only been so long ago? The warm memories acted as salt on the wound that was elongating in Ida's heart. Though she didn't exactly know what to say to Levi, she was desperate enough to hear his voice.

Against her rationality, Ida hugged him from the back. Her cheek rested on his shoulder. His warmth mitigated the pain that was beginning to unravel in the core of her gut. Like cancer, the pain was spreading everywhere.

Slowly, Levi grabbed her hand that rested on his chest and gave it a firm squeeze.

Warm. He was so warm.

She heard him sigh loudly. "Is this okay?"

Ida didn't answer. She knew what he was asking—he was asking if it was okay to be with her after what he did. More than anyone, Levi knew she had every right to distance herself from him.

Their situation was fucked up. So fucked up.

But when had anything between them been right in the laws that dictated their cruel fate?

When did they abide by the rules of this world?

He sighed loudly again. Levi entangled her arms from his waist and faced her. He observed her briefly before he shook his head to himself, smirking but never once allowing any warmth to seep into his eyes.

"I know it's fucked up, wrong even," she whispered, downcasting her gaze. "But even then…"

Slowly, they met each other's eyes once again. And as soon they did, Ida knew Levi regretted it just as much as she did. In the same way her gaze had the same effect on him, his gripping gray eyes made it that much harder for her.

'It would be worth it,' she wanted to say, but she couldn't.

"Ida… I…"

He trailed off. It was unlike Levi to ever cut himself short.

Silence was all that accompanied them until she whisper, "I missed you."

"This again?" he mumbled, tucking her loose bangs behind her ear. "Honestly, you're fucking worrying me. I know I haven't been around lately, but shit—I have paperwork coming out my ass and—"

She placed a finger on his lips. "Let me talk first."

Levi narrowed his eyes. He shifted his head away from her finger. Ida had thought he was going to retort something, but he only patiently waited for her to speak.

His face darkened. It appeared he understood that she was finally ready to tell him what was truly bothering her. Ida stubbornly clawed past the emotions that threatened to drown her.

"Do you remember that day?" Ida finally said at last. She fought past the agony building up in her chest and forged on, "When I just arrived at the Survey Corps?"

"You were a shitty brat who swung a knife at me. And I subdued you with ease. Yes, I remember."

Ida felt her lips curl. Levi was never a great storyteller. Until his very last breath, he was all about action.

"You're forgetting all the important details." Ida drew closer to him, ready to bare her wits for the last time. "I asked you to kill me, to get it over with. You didn't. Instead, you told me to fight for myself." She swallowed past the rock that had somehow lodged itself in her throat. "And after my first expedition, you told me to leave the Survey Corps, that I didn't belong here. Gods I hated you then, you were always up on my ass… so uptight over everything…"

Ida faltered at the end of her narration. She didn't have the words to describe her past feelings. She knew Levi heard the anguish in her voice and saw the painful past in her eyes. His intense gaze threatened to take her down, but she could not falter now.

She stiffened when Levi's fingers curled underneath her chin and lifted her head up. His gentle touch almost disarmed her. But his words were straight to point as always, "Why are you talking about the past?"

"Do you remember what I said to you then…? My reasons for fighting...?"

"To protect people," Levi answered, searching her face with concern. "Ida, what is this about?"

Sorrow. Why did sorrow feel as though her insides turned inside out?

Ida didn't reply to him immediately. Gently, she touched his face. Her fingers trailed down to his jaw and the nape of his neck. She knew her affectionate caress surprised Levi. He stood ever still.

"It's to protect the people I love," Ida corrected him quietly. She did her best to maintain her steady voice, but was slowly failing, "But almost everyone… is gone now. I couldn't protect them..."

And there is someone else I must protect now.

Levi's brows knitted together.

"I'm so lost, I want to die." The cry for help was simpler than Ida thought. "You should've killed me that day, Levi. You should've killed me when I asked you to."

"What?" Levi immediately demanded. He pulled her hand away from his face. "Ida, what… what are you talking about?"

Ida shook her head and averted her eyes to the stars. Levi followed her dazed gaze. "I can't keep living like this anymore. I can't. Anything… anything is better than this. I am not as selfless as you thought. I am not like you..."

There was a long pause. His large hands cupped her face. He moved her gaze back to him. Levi's stern features softened as if he had realized the full extent of her breaking point. The tears threatened to form in Ida's tear ducts.

Weak. She felt so weak.

"Don't talk like that…" Levi was struggling to form the words. He was never good with them. But she understood it hurt him to know she was hurting. "Is this because of..."

Levi trailed off, but Ida knew what he wanted to ask. He wanted to know if this was about Erwin—about how he died.

Miserably, heroically, and unable to fulfill his greatest dream.

Before she could control herself, Ida wrapped her arms around Levi and pulled him in. She kissed her denial into his lips, kissed her heart into his, and kissed what was left of her soul into his. Ida parted his lips with her own, biting down on his lower lip for easy access. As the rhythm took over, she kissed him hungrily, knowing that he liked it that way. Ida ran her hand through his hair and pinned her body against his.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

It was still beating. His heart was still beating. She could feel every strong beat, bringing her back to life.

Surprised, Levi leaned against the railing over her and fell into the lustful moment.

"I love you," Her mouth left his as they brushed noses, pausing for breath. After Ida voiced those three words, an inescapable truth presided over her, "I will always love you…"

Inwardly, her soul was screaming like death.

I love you.

It was the three simple but powerful words that made her grasp the reality of her situation.

Their borrowed time was up.

"So… leave the Survey Corps with me."

Levi's eyes expanded immediately. He pulled away. Shock ran through his features at her proposition. Her wet, salty tears cascaded down the side of his face just as her lips parted and an uncontrolled low sob escaped her mouth.

For a long moment, Levi simply stared at her, shell shocked.

His brows knitted together. "What did you just say?"

Ida willed herself to seal the dark fate. She couldn't back out now. This was the only way. She saw no other way out—this was the ultimate test. If Levi chose to stay… then she shouldn't hold him back. She couldn't. Not to him. Not to the person she loved. This child would tie him down. Another burden, another distraction, another mistake. She couldn't tie him down to her own destiny—to what she was going to do. She couldn't put him at risk in butting heads with the government.

But for one last time, Ida wanted to hope.

Was it a silly hope, or did she subconsciously say this because she needed to hear the answer from him to move forward? There was no time to get her question answered, for another broken sob parted her lips and her deepest desires spilled out.

"Leave with me." To her surprise, the selfish words left her easily, as if they were words Ida wanted to say all this while. "Choose me—we can start a new life. We have done enough; we have got the Survey Corps this far. Even you can concede that. We have paid the price, and we have paid enough."

Levi appeared to have stopped listening halfway. He tensed up and looked elsewhere, raking his fingers through his hair. The black locks fell back against his troubled gaze. Ida let the heavy silence linger.

"Fuck." Levi's jaw was clenched. She recognized the agitated pulse where it met his clean-shaven throat.

"Please," Ida pressed her hand to her chest, above her heart. Torment teemed in her face while an immense heartache filled his, "Please, Levi. Choose me. Not the Corps, not humanity, but me."

Levi shut his eyes, grimacing. "Ida."

The warning tone he used spoke volumes of his answer. Still, Ida pressed on relentlessly. Even now, at this moment of their end, she wanted to foolishly hope.

Despite her rationality, Ida wanted to run away from everything. She wanted to disappear with him. To forget everything and whisk away into the safety of oblivion with him.

She closed the gap between them, pleading. "I can forget everything. Everything with Erwin, everything that happened. We can start anew. We can be… happy."

When Levi finally looked at her, the severity of his gaze deepened. There was no empathy in his eyes for her dilemma, and he made no effort to assure her that he would choose her. His features were stone cold.

Please, Ida begged internally, just show me something, say something, anything—just hesitate, just tell me that you love me more than your duty. Just show me something, anything would do.

Let me hope. Let me doubt. Let me dream.

Don't...

Don't let me give up.

"Will you do it?" said Ida brokenly. "For me…?"

"Don't."

Her tiny, yet profound hopes were dashed again. "If I asked you to drop everything right now…"

"Ida—"

She spoke over him. "And to abandon your duty and leave everything behind, will you do it—"

"Fuck!"

The curse erupted hoarsely and without warning. Levi leaped away from her, making Ida jump. His fist curled and uncurled at his sides. She let the seconds unfold, unwilling to allow him a reprieve from her question.

Finally, Levi's hand reached up to adjust his cravat. He sighed heavily, "If you're worried about those shits in the government, there's no need to." His eyes held hers and promised unwavering protection. "Hanji and I won't let them force anything on you."

"It's not about that Levi."

"You know why I can't."

The building blocks of agitation grew within her. Ida's eyes hardened. That was all she needed to hear to dash what little remains of her hopes. Ida made no other attempt to plead with him, but she also needed to let him know she was serious.

When he saw this, Levi growled to himself and pushed past her. "Tch."

He gripped the railings, head downcast. Levi breathed deeply out his nose. She knew he was attempting to calm himself, nevertheless, Ida could still sense the conflict brewing within him. Levi was cursing his own situation. Cursing his own burdens. Cursing the duty and responsibility bestowed on him.

Perhaps she looked more hurt than she thought, because the next thing she knew, Levi was next to her, taking her hand into his as if to plead for understanding.

In a rare occurrence, his voice grew soft, gentle almost. "Ida… look at me."

She did so but kept her expression frozen.

"Don't misunderstand... it's… it's not that I don't want to leave this hell hole with you, maybe go pissing off somewhere together and out of this hell, but… I can't." The last words left him resentfully. He closed his eyes briefly, Levi lamented his own shitty situation. "I can't, Ida… no matter how much I want to. I owe to them—to Erwin to continue…"

With his hand still intertwined with hers, he held on tighter, "I am sorry, but I fucking can't."

His words acted like a sledgehammer that pummelled every nerve in her body into smithereens. Subconsciously, a large part of her knew it would come to this, but that didn't mean it was easier to listen to it. It didn't mean it was easier to fight through the unrelenting need to fall to her knees in agony and experience it.

She forced a smile on her lips that didn't reach her eyes.

"I can't do this anymore, Levi. I'm leaving the Survey Corps."

Her chest tightened once she saw the confusion coursing through Levi's expression. Ida knew him well enough that she could read all the emotions streaming throughout his body. She knew that Levi would've known that from the way she said it—she was not only leaving the Survey Corps but him too.

She pulled her hand away from his. "I can't bear the loss again. I can't."

Sorrow tormented Levi's face while he listened to her words. He took a step forward, something Ida thought was unlike him. But maybe he couldn't help it. His desolate eyes implored her cold ones for a sense of warmness.

"Ida, I am not going anywhere." Levi embraced her. The pain and frustration in his voice magnified, "Damn it—why the hell can't you understand? Regardless of where you are, I won't leave you."

Lies.

She remained frozen in his arms. Ida refused to accept his words as truth. If humanity called for him, he would—and he would go further and further, away from her reach and back to the stars.

Like their old squad, like Erwin and so many others…

"If you want to retire, that's fine. Go. But Ida, I am not going anywhere. I won't leave you."

Lies. You would.

"Someday… when this shitty war is over, we'll go anywhere you want—do whatever you want." His low voice was muffled in her hair, but the sincerity in it made it that much harder for her. It was a promise that Levi would do his damndest to uphold. He wanted a peaceful life just as much as she did. "The sea, or the lands of ice, or whatever shit is out there… We can have brats that look like you or me… open the shitty tea shop and live out our days till we are old and gray."

She steeled her bleeding heart. Levi remembered what she professed to him over her dreams about their future. He remembered everything she once said. All her dreams, all her hopes, no matter how tiny they were.

Gradually, her trembling fingers pressed against his back as she squeezed her tearful eyes together.

And Ida believed him—believed every word he said about their impossible future. She knew that Levi loved her that much. She knew that he wanted a different life with her. That despite everything, he wanted to place her first above all.

But in this life, he couldn't.

And neither could she any longer.

Because their world was not one where love conquers all. They were wandering in a city of roses for far too long.

Levi held her tighter as though it would mitigate the pain that would surely follow his next words, "But not now, Ida…"

She forced herself to escape his hold, yet Ida couldn't control the tears that started to fall from her eyes. The pain in Levi's countenance tore her living soul apart.

Knowing that she was losing her hold of herself, Ida retreated further, "I'm sorry… I can't… not anymore..."

Unsaid were many other words: I'm sorry for what I must do. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry that I couldn't stay beside you.

She moved to leave, but Levi grabbed her hand before she could disappear.

"Don't," he breathed, his voice becoming quieter than a whisper. Despair magnified in his remorseful voice, "Don't... go."

Ida couldn't bring herself to pull away, but she didn't look back at him. She didn't have the courage to.

"My resignation is already approved by Hanji and Zackly. I am leaving tomorrow." Suppressing the growing agony within her, Ida fought to keep her voice even, "More than anything, I'm aware of my position now. I need to be protected for humanity, right? This will be a chance for me to start over too."

Levi was silent for a long time. From the way his fingers tightened around her hand, he was pissed that Hanji knew about this and that all of this was already set in motion behind his back.

Her chest constricted, the air becoming insufficient. Why did it feel like she had just torn out her own heart?

"Ida… I can't change the past," Levi's deadpan voice was forced and tight, almost on the verge of breaking—he sounded nothing like the revered Captain she knew.

But you can change our future.

Her sanity grappled for some form of stability. The smart decision would've been to maintain her silence. The strategic choice would've been to walk away right then and there. In spite of all these strategic choices, Ida no longer felt it was necessary to be reticent with him. They were already at the edge of the end.

She faced him, erasing her pained expression with resolution.

"Do you love me?" she prompted at long last, staring deep into his eyes. She knew how hard it was for him to answer, how difficult it was to open his heart to her.

She knew how difficult it was for him to even answer a question like that. He had loved and lost just as much as she did.

Levi frowned. His lips remained a taught, thin line.

Just as she thought he wouldn't answer, he closed the gap between them.

"Yes." He cupped her face. "I love you."

Ida's numb heart throbbed at his simple confirmation. She was quiet, attentive as her emotionless face appraised his wounded one.

"You are the only damn thing in this shithole that gives me peace—you gave me another purpose, another direction, something to look forward to in this hell." His words surprised her. Levi was wearing his heart on his sleeves—he desperately wanted her to know just how much she meant to him. "Honestly? I've thought about it hundreds of times… if I could I would've taken you and fucked off somewhere from here first thing."

But you didn't, did you?

Dazed with heartache, Ida didn't say anything. She didn't understand—why was he saying this now?

Why was he holding her back? Why was he making it so much harder for her? Wouldn't it be better if she left? For him? For the Corps' standing among the military government and for humanity?

As though anxious by her lack of response, Levi went on agonizingly to convince her. He was pouring his heart out now. The heart-wrenching words tumbled out of him clumsily, but the sincerity shone through.

"You… mean more to me than my life. Ida… I know it doesn't fucking seem like it, but throughout the battle of Shiganshina, all I thought of was you—of how to return to you. And even now..." Levi's haunted eyes held hers when he trailed off, he couldn't find the words to describe his feelings. "Fuck, don't you get it? You are the only one who I can't afford to lose. You mean more to me than you ever know."

Ida shook her head, refusing to listen anymore. "Please, don't—"

Levi wouldn't let her go. He forced her to meet his eyes, his warmth thawing the ice that used to inhabit her gaze. Levi no longer looked like the Captain all soldiers feared. He simply looked like a brokenhearted man that no man ever wanted to be.

"I can't be without you any longer."

Another splinter embedded in her heart at his words—Ida had always thought Levi would've let her go. Willingly. Now he was holding her back. But he wasn't concerned that she was leaving the Survey Corps… but because she was leaving him.

The painful realization gradually dawned on Ida. For the first time, Levi was holding her back out of his own free will.

Not because she was an asset to the Survey Corps.

Not because she would benefit humanity.

It was because… he couldn't live without her.

It was because he loved her.

Ironic. Fuelled by his own selfish desires and love for her, for the first time Levi was holding her back.

But it still wasn't enough.

In a cruel world, love just wasn't enough. And it will never be enough.

"I know it's fucking selfish and I'm a shitty bastard for asking this, but just give me some time—once this war is over, we'll leave. I'll make it up to you. I'll…" his own voice tripped in his throat, "...make you happy..."

But I have no time. Not any longer.

"Ida, I love you..." Levi pressed his lips on her forehead. He sighed deeply—regretfully. Another pause, and then, "I will always love you."

Her eyes widened slightly before they gradually reverted back to normalcy. In a trance, her eyes fluttered close as she allowed him to unfold her for one last time. The places where he kissed throbbed. It was burning. She was burning. At the pinnacle of their end, for one last time, Ida allowed the world to slowly grow silent until all she could think about was him—of them.

Another set of tears stroked her cheeks.

Levi had made his decision, had chosen his path.

And so did she.

His steady fingers stroked the tears off her face, and from that, Ida could feel his pain. Levi continued to search her face for an answer.

But all Ida could think about was the pain unraveling in her chest. It was as if her heart was breaking into pieces—it couldn't stand the betrayal, couldn't stand the lies, couldn't stand what she was about to do. She had to leave and she knew exactly how to make him let her go.

"Ida…" Levi called when she pulled away from him. His voice was hoarse, broken.

She backed away further from him and shook her head. Ida drew in a shuddering breath that rocked her soul.

"You love me. You loved me so much…"

Despite the tears that blurred her vision, her eyes hardened with resolve.

"...that you chose Armin and your duty over me."

Just as Ida had anticipated, ache splashed over his face as her words stabbed into him. Levi froze over—an outstretched hand that was intending to hold her back paralyzed mid-air.

Ida went on, knowing well that she had to keep hurting him. There was no other way.

"I've been telling myself that it'll be worth it for the past weeks." Her despicable soul screamed for her to stop, but she didn't listen. She bit her quivering lips, shivering not from the cold, but from her internal pain, "Yet the memory of Erwin, of everything… overshadows any justification I could make any longer."

His eyes expanded immediately. Levi didn't say a word. Behind his fringe that swayed in the cold wind, his gray eyes could hardly comprehend the sad reality. The cruel condemnation, mixed with surprise, melded together into shock.

He had never thought he would never hear her say it aloud.

He had never imagined she'd voice out his deepest fears.

A bitter, knowing smile appeared on her lips. Yet secretly, her heart ached at her agonizing words she didn't mean.

"I've always placed you first, above everything…even humanity. But you've never done that for me, and now... it's too late… it's too late, Levi. If you had chosen me… just once, I would've believed you. I would've been ready to forget everything, I would've trusted you again…"

She allowed no emotions to cross her pale face and Levi made no effort to defend himself. It appeared that over the course of the past week, he had already concluded that there wasn't anything he could say to excuse him from his faults of always putting his duty before her and from his title of Erwin's murderer. This fact alone chafed like coals to her skin—he was hurting, and she was capitalizing on that hurt.

"You freed Erwin from being a soldier, so do the same for me. Don't you get it? I'm miserable with you. I want to be happy again."

An uncontrolled tear escaped her lower lashes.

"You always thought that I'd be there waiting forever, didn't you…?"

Sorrowfully quiet, Levi stared at her with such hurt that it pained her to keep eye contact. Her erratic heart drummed in her eardrums, but she forced herself to smile.

"But Levi, if I had known this was how it'd be..."

Steeling herself, Ida whispered the words she didn't mean and the words she knew would kill him. It was the only way he would let her go. It was the only way they could move on both their respective paths.

"...I would have never fallen in love with you."

She knew it worked.

Ida knew it worked when she saw the misery devour his eyes. She knew it worked when she saw the wretchedness cascade over his usually stoic face. She knew it worked when she felt her heart wrenched as he gazed at her, his pained eyes looking for emotions within her to detect if she was lying.

She kept her expression cool, icy. And that was enough for him to assume that everything she said was the truth of how she felt.

It was enough for him to realize that they were done.

Speared with shock, Levi's grip on her slackened. Ida used the opportunity to back away. "I'm sorry."

Steadily, Ida started walking away—to the new path she had forged for herself.

"Did you forget… who I am?"

She stopped at his quiet words, her back facing him. Ida realized why he was asking this. Levi was telling her how hard this was for him. He was telling her that he had already warned her in the past that he could never prioritize her, that a miserable bastard like him could offer her nothing. She was the one who wanted to stand by him regardless of everything.

Levi was trying to get her to understand—he loved her as much as he could afford to in this lifetime.

But Ida did understand.

More than anyone, even if it were to destroy her soul, she could see everything so clearly now.

"How can I forget…?" she murmured. "You've never stopped reminding me…"

Resolution anchoring her, Ida shifted and gave him the answer Levi wanted and needed to hear to move on.

"You're Levi Ackerman, humanity's strongest and the hero of the Survey Corps."

Ida braced herself and lifted her gaze to meet his, cherishing the memory of the man she loved so much. Pain. She could see so much pain on his countenance now. It was tearing him apart that he could do nothing to convince her to stay by his side. It was killing him to know that she was truly leaving.

He wanted nothing more than to hold her back.

But it was useless. Levi knew she wouldn't change her mind. He knew he didn't deserve her.

She feigned a light smile. "Then, Levi… do you know who I am then?"

Levi didn't reply, but his answer was evident in his broken expression. His Ida. His, and only his. The selfless, honorable duty-bound soldier that would accompany him at the peak of the summit, hand in hand with him. Forever enduring, forever unbreakable.

Because they promised it would be worth it all. Every stubborn inch, every agonizing step forward, every heartache—everything would be worth it in the end.

But she couldn't follow him any longer.

Ida couldn't be just a soldier any longer. She couldn't be by his side. One day, maybe she would return. But not now. Not until she found a way to remove the curse of the Titans without sacrificing their child. Not until she eradicated the powers of Titans from their world. The military could never know.

It was too risky. It was a risk that she couldn't take.

Ida had long decided she alone would shoulder all the pain from her destiny. And perhaps it was love—her own twisted, selfish love that she wanted to shield Levi from it.

It was easier this way.

For him. For her. For them to venture forward on the different paths they had chosen.

As long as she lived, her child would be in danger.

And when pushed over the edge with incalculable losses, Ida finally had enough. She had decided that she would never give up her child, would never give up anything any longer…

...even if it meant saving humanity.

And if that made her a betrayer of humanity then…

"I am Lady Ida of the house Starke," Ida said resolutely—for the first time reminding him of who she was, of who she was born and destined to be. "I am the last descendent of Odina Starke, the Devil on Earth and the creator of Titans."

And it's time that we walked our own separate paths to our own destiny.

Ida gave him a final smile. "Goodbye, Levi."

With nothing but tears blurring her vision, an empty heart, and a missing soul, she walked away. Ida never looked back to see Levi standing there, blood drained from his somber face as he watched her leave. Ida walked away, never looking back until she was in an empty corridor and finally shed away her cool exterior and sobbed her broken heart into her hands.

And alone with nothing but the insidious truth, Ida wept.

She wept for what she destroyed and for what was righteous, immoral, right and wrong. She wept for what was severed—their ties, their impossible relationship, and their faded future. She wept. Deeper, and deeper, she wept.

Slowly, Ida pulled a hand away from her mouth and quietly pinched herself. The pain of the pinch was nothing compared to the agonizing ache of her heart, yet she felt it, nonetheless.

It wasn't a dream. None of this was a dream.

It was real.

The scars Levi left on her… the scars on what was once their blossoming relationship… the scars she left on him… all these scars…

It all existed, and it was all painfully and heart-wrenchingly real.

Their end, as Ida knew it, was undeniably real.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

As arranged, they came the day after the funeral service. Six of them, toting guns in proud uniforms of the MPs.

It made Ida want to scoff in their faces when she saw her assigned guards. She hadn't expected that many guards. What sort of person do they think they are protecting? She had endured more battles than their entire careers combined.

It was only after Seth's arrival that Ida understood. Along with the gilded Starke carriage meant to transport her, he also handed her the newspaper for the day. The truth of their findings in the basement was finally released to the public.

And that included the truth of her bloodline.

The small tidbit of information was enough for Ida to comprehend why she had so many guards. As the last carrier of the Starke name, naturally, some of the blame had fallen onto her shoulders. Those guns were not meant to protect her from the enemies beyond the walls, but from the people within them.

Funny. Just a while ago, she had fought tooth and nail and sacrificed countless people she loved to protect them—the same people who were condemning her now.

With a melancholic smile, she waved goodbye to her squad before they went back to the HQs. Eren and the rest saw her off. She could tell that they were surprised, but they took her retirement in with stride. Perhaps Hanji had spoken to them prior, not that Ida would know. But it wasn't as if they wouldn't see her forever.

Just that, they would be separated by distance and walls

And until my baby is born…

Heichou barked around her, pulling Ida out of her contemplation. She chuckled and patted his furry head. "Don't worry, you're coming along with me boy."

"Is this everything?" Seth inquired after he loaded her single bag onto the carriage. "Nothing else?"

She grimaced, uncomfortable with his presence. "There's nothing else worth taking."

"Safe travels, Ida."

Hanji came up to them. Her hand on her shoulder was like a shard of ice piercing her flesh, despite being perfectly warm. The Commander was the last to see her off.

The thought pierced through her chest like a bullet.

Was it stupid of her to hope that Levi would appear to stop her?

Or to at least… say goodbye?

She smirked to herself. Of course, it was. Silly of her to hope otherwise. No matter how much she wanted to see him—her place was no longer at the Survey Corps.

They had said their goodbyes, she had ended them.

Now, she was no longer a scout, but an important figure in the central government. The handover was completed.

"Thanks for everything," Ida hugged her. "We'll keep in touch after I get settled in."

Hanji nodded and rested her hand on her back. "Ida."

"Hm?"

"Can I trust you?"

The sudden question lodged a lump in her throat. Ida schooled her features into a look of confusion.

Nervousness seemed to creep up on the Commander. Hanji sheepishly rubbed her neck, "Ah. Don't get me wrong, it's just that I can't help but get the feeling that there's something else that you're not telling me. It just… doesn't add up you know...?"

Four eyes and her intuition. She truly gave herself too little credit.

Ida slapped a smile on her face. "You can trust me. Always. I'm not hiding anything."

Why was it so easy to lie to them?

Not wanting her to further pelt her with questions, Ida endeavored to end the conversation, "I'm sorry for being such a brat. And please… take care of him."

The Commander appeared torn, but she only nodded.

"Hey, we need to go. It'll take some time for us to reach Sina." Seth gestured with his chin to the MPs by the sidelines. They were watching them warily. "Don't want to keep those folks waiting."

She glared at Seth when he came to stand beside her. She wanted to yell at him, to push him away, to ask him how dared he keep up this facade with such apparent nonchalance when they both knew the depth of his betrayal.

But Hanji's expectant gaze weighed upon her, shackling her to her responsibilities of what she had to do.

"Okay." She nodded. "Well then, take care, four eyes."

"Wait, Ida." Hanji stopped her. "Just one last thing. You said you'll take care of everything, what do you plan to do exactly?"

Ida appraised her with warmth in her eyes, "As we always had done."

"And that is?"

"To find a way to eradicate the Titans from the world."

It was the truth. The simple cold truth. There was not a trace of lies in it, yet the layers and the complications were so much more profound than Hanji would've ever known.

The Commander's expression crumpled into a look of deep contemplation, her single hazel eye dissecting and analyzing. Maybe it was the trust and the comradery that they shared together that made her refrain from asking anymore.

From inside the carriage, Seth waved to Hanji. "We'll keep in touch!"

Hanji feigned a smile back and waved back. "Yeah, I'll see you guys."

Despite herself, Ida smiled again. "Keep your chin up, Commander."

After Ida settled herself in the carriage with Seth and Heichou, she heard the MPs saddling their horses. In that solemn moment of silence, before she embarked on her new path, Ida found herself longingly staring out of the glass windows.

Her gaze ran across the large building of the Survey Corps headquarters. Bittersweet memories washed over her—that of her old squad, Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther. That of her father, Erwin. Of her beloved friends, Hanji, Eren, Mikasa, and the rest...

And finally… that of Levi...

She briefly wondered if he was looking out the window from his office now. If he quietly was watching her, as he always had. But the thought was fleeting. Ida knew she had no right to expect anything of him now. Part of her wondered then if there was ever a choice for her—if there was ever a way to escape her destiny.

Ida rested her hand on her flat belly. Her cold hands ached for the warm hands of her own child. Small, perfect, and safe.

"Does it hurt?"

She looked up at Seth and saw the concern in his eyes. She wondered if he was feeling guilt from this mad situation he had orchestrated. But then again, she was mad enough to follow through with it as well.

"It's nothing," she said. "Has everything been prepared?"

"Exactly as planned. No hiccups."

A tint of unease darkened her expression as she gazed back out the window and to the HQs, "Good. There is no time, we need to find another way to remove the power of Titans from this world without using the trigger."

Silence presided over them, before he whispered, "If you want to, you can stop all of this now..."

Ida smirked. Stop?

How amusing. That suggestion almost made her want to laugh. Was that really coming from Seth?

"You once told me that you and I were one and the same—that we are the same type of selfish people, do you remember?" Ida smirked benignly to herself, "I understand what you mean now…"

"I don't mean it that way. You know I don't. If anything, I…" Seth flattered before the strength returned to his voice, "I wished that none of this had ever happened, that you would've never found out. Ida... I was just trying to protect you."

Another bemused smirk waltzed on her lips.

But that was just it wasn't it? This was her destiny, her fate. There was no escaping its cruel clutches—there was no escaping this begotten power she inherited. So many doors were opening in front of her, none that Ida had chosen for herself.

But there was no point in condemning the situation, no point in wallowing.

"Do you think that I'm cruel or heartless for not telling him about this?"

Seth shook his head. "No. I think that you're doing the right thing. You don't have a choice."

A choice…

Momentarily dazed, Ida fell deeper into the memory of the first day she met Levi. Back then, he had offered a choice too.

Fool she was to believe she had any. Fool she was to delude herself in this charade of selflessness. Fool she was to go on a stupid, childish quest to discover her life purpose for a sense of belonging.

She should've known. Funny it took her so long to see it.

She didn't belong here.

Her life purpose wasn't here in the Corps.

"My child…" Ida whispered, imagining the beautiful face of the life growing inside of her, "…would be different from me…"

Seth raised a brow. "Hm?"

The strength in her voice grew, "They will be born sinless, free from the burdens of my family, able to choose the life they want. Free... to grow up far away from the government who would undoubtedly see it as a human weapon…. they won't be like me—they won't be a pawn… or a chess piece…"

Her green eyes hardened with determination, "I will not see my children enslaved to a family's name like me."

Ida tore her gaze away from the headquarters and away from the faded past. A thought crossed her mind when she took Seth's pensive form in. How bloody amusing. He had betrayed her time and time again, and yet...

She smirked to herself. Of course, the irony of her life would lead her here with him again.

"Do you remember that you once told me that you will follow and protect me unconditionally, no matter the price?"

Seth's eyes widened slightly. He appeared surprised that she was bringing this up again, "Of course, I remember."

"Does it still count?" she asked. "Even after everything you know… even if what I am doing might threaten the people of the walls' wellbeing in the future… and even when you know I cannot return an ounce of your feelings for me…" Ida stared at him seriously, "Will you still follow me?"

Seth sighed audibly and mumbled something to himself. It made Ida wonder what he was thinking. Before she knew it, his shoulders squared and he straightened himself.

"To hell and back," he said. The words were natural, simple, but she could sense the double-edged loyalty in them. "All I ever wanted for you Ida, was for you to live for yourself."

Downcasting her head, Ida smiled sadly.

Live for myself.

Now she understood what Seth meant.

She should be true to herself, to what she wanted, to what she desired. Humanity? Freedom? She had been pretending to be someone she wasn't for far too long.

With a loud call from the MPs, the carriage moved, leaving what remains of her soul with the people at the headquarters—of who Ida left behind.

"And live for myself I shall."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"I would have never fallen in love with you."

Her cursed words haunted him. Her damning words continued to occupy his tireless thoughts. Her painful words relentlessly reminded him of his reality as Levi sat there, alone in his quarters, hand crushed around Erwin's bolo tie, fist rested on his forehead.

Levi had wished he'd be relieved to be in his own private space, but no such relief presided upon him.

An open box laid before him, filled with badges. Two wings; one light, another dark—as if they symbolized the two sides of the same coins, of what was immoral and righteous. Dried oxidized red dots ran across most of the fabric; the blood of the original owners.

The wooden box was there when he arrived yesterday night and he hadn't been able to sleep since.

Levi knew who left it there and he knew of the message it conveyed.

She wouldn't be around to give meaning to their deaths any longer. Now, the burden had landed squarely on him. This was the path that he had chosen. And he had to continue on.

Never enough. No regrets. Soldier on.

Never look back.

Forward and forward.

No matter who he must leave behind.

Levi didn't know how long he sat there after watching Ida leave from his window. He just felt utterly incomplete; numb to everything around him. He didn't know if this fucking numbness would disappear any time soon. If it would ever disappear.

What he did know was when a knock came, it was far too fucking soon.

"Levi, I know you're in there. Can you open the door?"

He kept his mouth tightly pressed together. Maybe if he didn't answer, Hanji would piss off.

"We have a meeting with Bergs newspapers."

Bloody right.

He scowled and pushed himself back to his feet. Levi roughly yanked the door open. Hanji studied him briefly. Her single amber eye darted behind him. He knew she saw the box on his table and bolo tie.

Her face softened a fraction, "Are you okay?"

"Tch. And why the fuck wouldn't I be?" Levi glared and dared her to push the matter further.

"Seeking advice from Erwin?"

Levi growled. Why the fuck was she still looking at the badges? He stepped past the threshold of his door and slammed the door shut.

"Let's go," he spat the word at her. "Meeting."

Hanji sighed at his frosty behavior, "Is there anything you want to ask me?"

He stopped dead and regarded her evenly. Hanji was bringing it up on her own accord, and he wanted the answers sooner or later, it might as well be now. He was doing no bloody favors by staying in his quarters and wallowing in his own painful memories.

Levi grit his teeth and got straight to the point. "How long did you know about this?"

"How long?" Hanji repeated, appearing to consider her words for a moment. "Hmm well… Ida handed me her resignation on the day of the—"

"And it didn't cross your fucking mind that you should've told me?" Levi snapped hotly. "Damn it, Hanji—you knew earlier than that. You suspected. That's why you said she wouldn't be so against leaving."

The words came out harsher than he would've liked, but Levi was out of shits to give now.

Frankly, he understood it was nothing to be angry about—but the betrayal hurt, and it hurt like a bitch.

That shitty day… that day when he came back and had that talk with her, the fucking glasses was watching him agonize over Ida, fret over her when she knew all this while.

The bloody glasses knew Ida was leaving. Chances are, maybe she even knew that Ida had intended to leave him too. Right. Women. Why the fuck did they feel compelled to confess their feelings to each other, but not to their partners?

"She made her own choice. I didn't force her. It wasn't in my place to—"

"Not your fucking place?" Levi glared at her incredulously.

"Are you at a point where you have zero trust left for me?"

Levi exercised the muscle in his jaw.

Fuck it, fuck it all to hell.

Fuck her. Fuck this. Fuck everything.

He scowled and tucked his hands in his pockets. Levi focused on scenery out the window. It was all that he could do to stop himself from putting his fist into the wall now.

"I can explain."

Though Levi felt compelled to answer, he vetoed the idea as quickly it materialized. The truth was that he really had nothing to say. Nothing else that was worth saying.

Gradually, the stern expression on Hanji's face thawed away, "Even if I told you it wouldn't have changed anything."

An angry snort left him. No shit. Levi understood and accepted that. But when this realization—this fundamentally terrible realization—was brought forward again, it caused a low, sick swooping feeling in his stomach. Levi had thought Hanji would never keep anything from him. He thought Ida would never leave him.

He thought he knew.

Levi expelled a heavy sigh. Then, after taking in a deep inhalation, his voice grew inflexible. "Forget it, let's go."

"I felt that it was best if Ida left too."

When Hanji confessed this, a resolve unlike any other filled her single amber eye.

"We need to keep her safe, it's our duty. We can't be sending her off the battlefield—you know that. With how things are looking now, it's already a risk that we have to use Eren. It's for the best that Ida leaves."

His biceps tightened as his fingers curled together.

Right, how could he fucking forget?

That was all he ever wanted for Ida at one point in time. To leave the Survey Corps, the battlefield, and miserable bastard like him, and find a life where she could be happy and safe.

She was happy now.

That was all that mattered—that was all that should've mattered to him.

So why…

Why did it feel like someone had ripped his heart out from his chest?

"Levi, I'm sorry, but there was little I can do against Zackly's insistence too..." She sighed again. "After consideration, we can't afford to go against their orders. Ida understood this too. And I did what I thought was the best for humanity as Commander of the Survey Corps."

Levi growled in frustration and started to walk away. "You did."

Erwin had used that shit on him too.

"This is the role you gave me, remember?"

The moment those sharp words were said, Levi paused briefly. He twisted his body back to her. Hanji was glaring at him, expression agonized. Frustration teemed in her face when she let out an angry breath and shook her head. Levi could count the times he had seen her truly angry—it was the complete opposite from her bat-shit crazy antics.

"Levi… I..." Hanji murmured, the words coming out distant and frayed. "I didn't want for this to happen either…" He watched impassively as she looked to her hands, "But… I am now the Commander of the Survey Corps."

Levi's eyes thinned. What was her point?

"You are."

Hanji let out a bitter laugh. "Right?"

Without warning, she grabbed onto his collar and shoved him to the wall. He could've retaliated, it was easy to see her moves coming, but Levi didn't.

"This is the role you gave me! I didn't want to be Commander! I didn't want to—" Hanji's expression twisted as she pinned him to the wall. She looked like she had something else to say, but as the seconds passed, it was obvious she was refraining from it.

Levi kept his face stony. Now, he understood.

It was only natural of her to resent him.

"If you want to hit me, go ahead," came Levi's bland deadpan words. "You deserve it. You became the Commander because of me."

Hanji appraised him with shock—whether it was because of her outburst or what he said, Levi did not know. But it was clear that the entire shitty situation with Ida was taking a toll on her. Everything surrounding her shitty new role was taking a toll on her.

Friend or Commander.

Hanji was the one who was most vocal about getting them together, she was the one who always told him that he should settle down and find happiness.

But now the very role Levi had forced upon her came with responsibilities. She had no choice but to hand full custody of Ida to the lions. She had no choice but to throw Ida to a pit of vipers where she one day might be forced to propagate her bloodline for the betterment of humanity.

For the peace within the military, for the Corps standing, and as well as assurance for the Walls' future. As the Commander, she had to do it.

Hanji released his collar and backed away from him.

"Hahaha," she feigned a burst of awkward laughter and waved her hand. "If I punch a midget like you, I'd be rolling in my sleep at night."

Despite her obvious attempt to ease the tension, Levi threw her a quick glance of pity. Before the remorse could bubble up and consume him, he hammered it down.

"Hanji…"

"Hm?"

He drew in a slow breath and hastily turned away from her. "You're the only one who I can speak frankly to right now…"

He fixed his jaw. Levi could remember them all—those people that used to walk down these same hallways. Many whose badges now laid in the box in his room. Those who he had loved and lost.

Farlan and Isabel…

His old squad…

Mike, Nanaba, Nifa…

Mobilt...

Erwin…

And now… even…

Ida.

Levi felt his entire world darken as the last, beautiful name invaded his mind, bringing to light that one final, agonizing, and heart-wrenching truth that he could no longer deny.

Gone.

His once-in-a-lifetime love was gone.

He couldn't hold her back. Could never hold her back.

It was never worth it.

Hah. So was this it? Was this the shitty fate he has chosen for himself? Forever cursed to lose everyone he cared about?

Weighed by that damning thought, Levi's shoulders slumped down. His body screamed for sleep to escape the unrelenting pain coursing through every inch of flesh and bone. It was too much for even him to steady against the flood of wretched reality.

But that was it, wasn't it?

This was the miserable path he had chosen.

"Hanji…" Levi's fingers clenched together, "...if I were to lose you too… even I wouldn't be able to bear it."

Hanji made a bewildered noise behind him. "Huh, what?"

Levi ignored her. He was only going to say it once.

"Wait—Levi!" Hanji chased after him, but for some reason, she stopped. Her next words were muffled as she clasped her mouth, "This… this isn't like you at all…"

He didn't stop.

Levi never looked back to see Hanji looking at him with pity, tears in her single eye, knowing that he would never be the same. Instead, he stubbornly kept fighting.

Whether it was for humanity and his dead comrades, or against the floodgates that threatened to open and engulf him in a tide of emotions.

Mindlessly, mind-numbingly, and mind-blowingly, all Levi knew was that he had to keep fighting on the path he had chosen.

Just like what Ida had wanted.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

The atmosphere in the carriage was quiet and morose.

The exhaustion of everything was beginning to take a toll on Ida. Fortunately, by the time this occurred, she started recognizing the mountainous terrain. In this breathtaking vista, Ida locked eyes on the majestic estate that sat on the crest of the mountain. One of the biggest mansions in Sina—her family's home.

The reclusive mansion, along with its impeccably flawless land, looked magical under the gloom of the dark skies. After years, the estate was still frozen in its beauty.

"We're here," announced Seth, sending spikes of anxiety into her bloodstream.

Ida's heart drummed when the carriage approached the iron gates that separated the outside world from the world within the estate. Akin to waking up from hibernation, the big gates creaked open for them, permitting passage.

Manicured gardens lined the pathway as the carriage strode up the long cobblestone road. There was a large fountain in the center of the circular driveway, standing eloquently in front of the mansion. High windows hugged across the white exterior of the house while speckles of gold adorned various parts of the building.

The door opened. Heichou leaped out of the carriage alongside Seth to explore his new residence. Seth extended his hand out to escort her, "Here."

Ida stared at his hand for a long time, hesitating to take it.

Get a hold of yourself, she coached herself, hating that she was behaving like a scared child.

She reached out. The moment Seth's hand devoured hers, Ida felt her heart and soul rip apart. She stepped out of the carriage and faced the gigantic manor. The serenity of the breathtaking view should've relaxed her, but it didn't.

I'm finally here.

While Seth addressed the MPs escorts, Ida walked to the double-doored entrance, utterly transfixed.

I'm finally…

Her feet stopped before the large doors.

Home…

"Something wrong?" Seth came to her, unknowingly rousing her out of another one of her dazes.

"Nothing," Ida answered, shaking off her nerves. "Let's go."

Afraid that her fear would trigger her to turn back, and determined to finish this journey, Ida said nothing more and pushed the doors to the mansion open.

"Welcome back, ma'am."

Ida paused outside for a second, surprised. Kelson was already in the central foyer, greeting her in a polite bow. She ignored him and studied the interior of the estate. It was well-maintained. Obviously, they had prepared for their arrival. It didn't feel like its former residents were dead.

But if memory served her correctly, the foyer felt oddly empty.

"Did you tell him?" she asked, careful not to divulge so much information.

Seth made eye contact with the butler. "Yeah. He knows everything."

"And yet, you chose to stay," Ida smirked reprovingly. "Why?"

"I've been indebted to your family for a long time." Kelson regarded her with kind eyes. "Rest assured, it wasn't as if all this is surprising. We Starke servants are trained to loyally assist from the dark as if we weren't there. During my long service, there are things I overheard at times."

Her green eyes measured the butler. Ida was surprised to hear that he was aware of her family's secrets, and she was even more surprised that he chose not to reveal everything during the coup. "Then I'll ask the same of you now. Whatever happens here has to remain a secret."

"Of course."

"Good," Ida moved with familiarity in the palatial mansion. "For starters, I want the pests that followed me here out of my estate's grounds. The MPs can guard the entrance for all they wish. I will take no guest. Unless it's Commander Hanji, no one from the military will be invited in."

"Would that be wise?"

Ida scoffed. "Wise? No. But it's necessary. Do as I say, I'll handle any repercussions."

They stepped onto one of the double-curved staircases and ascended. When they arrived on the second floor, Ida realized why she felt the mansion's entrance foyer felt empty to her. By the corner, two workers were taking down the portraits that used to line the entire walls of the mansion.

An unfamiliar emotion crashed over her as Ida's eyes took inventory of the portrait in a worker's hand.

Laena Starke.

Ida's lips parted before she could stop herself, "Put that back."

Seth and Kelson glance simultaneously at her, surprised. The two workers appeared hesitant, but eventually, they obediently followed her instruction.

"Kelson."

The butler was by her side in a snap. "Yes?"

"Put back every single portrait to their rightful place. Everything should be as it were before I came here."

She could tell Kelson was bewildered by her orders. "Understood. Forgive me for overstepping, I thought that like before, you would've preferred them to be kept away."

Ida smirked sardonically at his reply.

After the workers placed Laena's portrait back and scurried away to give them some privacy, Ida approached the line of portraits that hung in the long hallway. Beside Laena's painted face, was a face that Ida painfully recognized.

Jaron.

Two different heads of the Starkes with two different ideologies. How ironic their portraits would be placed side by side.

Her slightly trembling fingers traced the outline of her uncle's face.

To this day, Ida couldn't fathom why she always felt a sense of melancholy when she stared at the portraits. But while the magnitude of being in this house had its impact on her psyche, it had little leverage over her frozen heart.

"Dismiss everyone. Keep only a handful of trusted servants, I don't need that many." She retracted her hand and stared at Seth, "Can I leave it to you to find out who's trustworthy?"

Seth shrugged flippantly. He was not surprised by her instructions. "I can do that. Tons of scums waiting for a better life."

"I'll pay them whatever they ask for."

"I've prepared your room already," Kelson gestured to the other end of the hallway. "Your journey must've been tedious, ma'am. Would you like to take a rest?"

"No. I'm not tired," Ida swept away from them. "And you don't have to call me by that anymore, Kelson. Do as you wish."

She maneuvered through the hallways. Her gaze ran over the expanse of the house as she walked—over painted faces of her ancestors.

Each portrait, beautiful, powerful, and preserved in a time where they were in their prime.

Uneasiness slithered through her.

"Jaron knew almost everyone here by name," Seth shared. Her attentive silence encouraged him to go on, "He used to stare at them whenever he ventured down these hallways. The pathway of Gods, he said. The liberators."

She swallowed uncomfortably, finally feeling some revulsion towards herself as Seth recited these details. She didn't want to be related to her bastard of an uncle in any way.

"Do you think that... one day, my face would be up here too?"

Seth fixed an intrigued gaze on her, his expression concerned with how she was behaving.

"What's going on with you, Ida?" She was showing too much human emotion that she didn't typically show. It was odd to Seth and incredibly disconcerting to her. "Are you alright?"

Ida smiled wryly as her way of genuinely telling him that she would be fine.

Saying no more, she led them down the hall until they eventually ended up at her final destination. The office of the head of the Starkes. Ida had to stop in her tracks after they walked in, allowing the gravity and familiarity of everything to cascade over her.

The office was enormous. Its opulent dark furniture and equipment radiated sophistication and wealth. Ida could almost imagine Jaron standing there, glaring at her. It was a room that she had always feared as a child, the only room in the large estate that made her feel uneasy.

But now, she was the sole rightful owner of it.

While contemplating this, Ida smiled to herself as she thought about the ironies of her life and the mistakes she had made.

Born to the Starke family, yet born despising restraint. Deluding herself to think that fighting for freedom would give her a purpose and keep the people she loved safe, yet unwitting of the fact the ways of the world are cruel. Bending to destiny, yet still nostalgic of the past.

Again and again, suffering betrayal.

Again and again, suffering lost.

One step of a mistake and every step a mistake.

Ida shut her eyes decisively.

No more mistakes.

The soles of her shoes made imprints on the mahogany carpet when Ida took her first step.

"Bastard or not, you're a Starke; you share our blood."

Ida swallowed past the lump in her throat, overwhelmed by the wave of memories that seemed to hit her at once from a simple trigger.

Another step.

Ida could see her past self, kneeling on the same floor in front of her uncle that domineered over her. It was a pathetic sight of a woman unable to bear the revelations—a weak woman who renounced her family name and refused to bend to her destiny.

The pathetic mental imagery burned her mind before the words that her past self once said reverberated through her body: "Our name means nothing to me."

Another step.

Jaron's vile smirk appeared in her consciousness, "A name means everything in a world like this, and we, who inherit the will of our ancestors will see to complete it. It is our destiny, one that you share, whether you like it or not. This is the power of names, Ida."

Her uncle's desk was weathered with age and smelt of oak. Long fingers traced the workmanship of the desk as Ida walked behind it. She wondered how many heads of the Starkes had sat here.

Ida was roused from her thoughts when her gaze snagged on a velvet box on the center of the office desk. Curious, she reached for it. The box snapped open.

Her eyes enlarged.

This is...

The signet ring that every head of the Starkes wore taunted her eyes.

Chills formed on Ida's skin when she gradually closed her fingers around it and held it up to examine it. The ring was fashioned to be a mirror copy of Jaron's treasured one; the insignia of the Yggdrasil embossed in gold.

"Send someone to a jeweler to commission one, then send it to the main estate."

Ida smirked to herself when she recalled tasking Kelson to commission it months back during her stay at Mitras. How funny. Fate was ridiculing her again. She had naively thought that it was stupidly poetic to leave it here; abandoned, unclaimed, and ultimately forgotten.

How foolish.

In retrospect, how foolish she was to be entranced by the naïve illusion that she had free will. Even more foolish Ida was to be under the more moronic illusion that having free will meant that fate and destiny would bend to her defiance and adhere to her will.

She had thought she had it all figured out. She had thought it would be worth it all. Unfortunately, the authoritative hands of fate were about to show her how insignificant her will was against all the plans that life had for her.

Ida took a deep inhalation to calm her nerves. When she was done, she appraised Seth and Kelson lingering before the desk. They watched her cautiously for her next step.

As a solemn silence enveloped them, Ida placed the ring down and unclasped the bracelet that Levi had given her. Carefully, she placed it in the velvet box and shut it. Her fingers smoothed over the material of the box, lingering for a long moment to say goodbye.

The flow of her blood slowed when she extracted her fingers back.

Levi.

There was something in the way that name rang in Ida's mind that had her entire body wrenching in pain. If she had her entire soul intact, Ida would categorize this feeling as one of love, of immense pain for the loss of someone she loved so much. If she had her entire soul intact, then Ida was almost sure that this would be the moment where she'd cry.

Unfortunately, her entire soul wasn't intact, she had left what remains of it with him, back at who she was before, so as quickly as that emotion came, it disappeared like the wind as well.

The signet ring of the Starkes slid on her finger. It was a perfect fit.

Devil on Earth.

She dragged the large chair out from behind Jaron's desk.

Sinner.

Those words meant nothing to her now. It meant nothing compared to the future she must protect.

"Did you prepare everything beforehand as I asked?"

Kelson nodded. "Yes, Lady Starke."

Her right hand, adorned with her family's heirloom, traveled onto her flat belly. She straightened her back instinctively when Ida regarded both men in a way that only someone in power could give them.

Resolve teemed in her green eyes, "Then let us begin. We have no time."

And finally embracing her destiny, Ida took her seat, taking the titular place of who she was born to be.

The Lady of the Starkes.

---

Well, it's the end of Levida… for now, at least. *sweatdrops* Please don't kill me. It's a big turning point for Ida! Longer a/n about the chapter on my profile as usual.

Congratulations to Isayama for completing AOT! Though 139 did make me raise my eyebrows, nevertheless, I still find AOT a masterpiece overall despite my qualms of the ending (if anyone wants to discuss it please hit me up on discord, hehe, username on my profile)

Also, I've been really burned out lately. Life is hard. If I can manage, I'll try to update in June, if not the next will be in July, will update my profile on this site. Sorry and thank you for understanding.

(and because a lot of people have been asking, YES the baby will be born this arc, and YES Levi will find out, and YES this arc is also ROMANCE focused)

Thank you for the beautiful reviews and support. Please leave a review, I'd love to read them! Do you think that the plot is too confusing so far? Some feedback will be great!

Until next time, xoxo!