CHAPTER FORTY-NINE – Waves
I remained still for some time, processing everything my friends explained. Five years Steve and Natasha searched for something, the smallest hope of thread to right the wrongs we equally shared blame for. Now, finally they'd tugged on it, unraveling concepts completely new to us all.
Setting my glass of iced tea down, and glancing across the grounds to Tony's cabin, I wondered what his reaction was to this outlandish plan. Did a spark of hope ignite? Did his big, wonderful brain begin churning with thousands of possibilities? Or did fear strike him with horrific thoughts of losing his family?
"He said the same thing you're thinking." Steve appeared aware of the anxiety tormenting my thoughts. "I get it," he sighed, hands braced on his hips. "You two have got a lot to lose and we don't want to mess things up, but we wouldn't be here if we didn't think it was worth a shot."
"Time travel though?" I couldn't hide the disbelief in my tone. Even saying it made me want to laugh. "I've seen a lot of strange things in my life, but it's a stretch even for me."
"We just have to figure out the science, which would've been a lot easier with Stark." Scott Lang, a protégé of Hank Pym appeared a little defeated, a stark contrast compared to the last time I'd seen him – excited and determined serving at Steve's side against Tony's team in Germany.
"You know anything science or technology related I defer to Tony," I looked over at Natasha who'd remained quiet since the group's arrival. "And if you're here to ask me to change his mind, I can't."
"Can't or won't?" Natasha folded her arms across her chest, intense green eyes searching my face for a justifiable excuse she could understand.
"Both." I offered my answer freely and honestly without fear of judgement.
The main reason for my position came running up the steps. Sara, in her favorite candy-striped shirt and khaki pants with pockets stuffed with flowers, weaved amongst the others. She grinned, dark eyes full of innocence and warmth gazing up at me as she jumped onto my lap.
"Look, grandmama!" She pulled a fistful of flowers from her pocket as I looked at Natasha, a small smile telling me she now understood.
"They're beautiful, mon Coeus." I smiled taking the flowers from Sara's hand.
"We'll figure it out somehow, Gin." Steve's reassurance would've been more convincing to all of us if the man infamous for making the unbelievable possible was a part of the conversation.
I stared across to Tony and Pepper's cabin wondering if my godson was the key to unlocking the hope hidden in my heart.
-x-
"You should be there with them." Pepper's certain tone snapped me from my thoughts, finding me sitting rigidly beside her on the sofa.
As I allowed my thoughts to fade, I looked over at the girls sleeping beneath their handmade fort of bed sheets. Though the two held no blood ties, we'd raised Sara and Morgan as sisters, never finding one without the other tagging along.
"Sorry?" I frowned.
"Gin, I've known you as long as Tony, and the one thing you two have in common is once you have an idea in your head, you won't stop until it's realized. How long can you hang around here knowing what they're up against?"
A weary sigh threatened to expose my regrets. I should've been at Steve's side, supporting him and my friends in their quest to make our world whole. I spent decades fighting grief and proving my worth and spent just as long dreaming of a reunion with Bucky. Even if it sounded like madness, there was still a hope of bringing my family back together.
"With Tony's involvement, there's a good chance you'll succeed."
Staring at Sara, the playful child displayed more of her father's traits every day – sometimes it physically hurt to look at her and see pieces of Michael and Mariko.
"If there's a chance Sara could have her parents–"
"I'd do anything." I abruptly rose from the sofa going to the window, seeing only my troubled reflection in the darkness. "She deserves every happiness in the world, to have the life her parents dreamed for her… they deserve to be here, to see her grow into that person for themselves rather than two people I use as bedtime stories."
"You deserve to have your life with Bucky too." Pepper added kindly, drawing my gaze to my wedding ring and then back to the blonde who unwittingly knew me better than I thought.
"We'll be fine here. Go on!" She urged, a smile from her the only push I needed.
With a fleeting glance at Sara, I left the cabin, heading across the grounds to my own cabin mirroring Tony's. I found an old go-bag from my S.H.I.E.L.D days in the closet, and snatching my car keys off the kitchen counter, I headed out the door.
Driving the sedan along vacant roads, I thanked the late hour for my speed, the headlight beams guiding me back to my second home; the Avengers facility, unsurprised to find the gates of the open upon my arrival. I parked in front of the main building, lights glowing in a few windows above a welcoming sign to my evaporating anxiety. Grabbing my go-bag from the passenger seat, I climbed out of the sedan, a smile forming as Steve pushed his way through the main doors.
"Gin!" He smiled opening his arms.
"I see Pepper called ahead." I dropped my go-bag, falling into his embrace and the buzz of excitement beginning to swirl with adrenaline through my body.
"She thought you needed a welcoming party." Steve picked up my go-bag, motioning with his head for me to follow.
He led me through the near abandoned facility to where the others gathered in a boardroom. Like students cramming for an exam, books and empty coffee cups littered every available surface. Tony and Natasha slept head to toe on a conference table and Banner, to my surprise in full Hulk form slept on the floor and Thor, slept in a chair in the corner, dark sunglasses over his eyes.
I shot Steve a frown, pointing at Banner. "Banner's living as the Hulk?"
"It's a long story."
"And Thor? When did the middle age spread happen?" I scrutinized the Asgardian's obvious beer gut peeking out beneath a stained t-shirt.
"That…" Steve lightly shook his head. "Don't ask."
We stepped back into the glass lined corridor, staring at our friends. From afar, my heart swelled to be with them, our unlikely group born from tragedy came together again on cusp of another mission.
"I didn't think you'd ever come back here," Steve admitted. "You've got a good life with Sara."
"She's the reason I'm doing this." My hand went to my locket, an heirloom to bring comfort in the darkest times but also serve as a reminder for why I fought in the first place.
My mother gifted it to me with a portrait of her when I left home, it then changed to one of Bucky when war tore us apart , and now I wore it for Michael and Mariko – the future, if my godson were as intelligent as he'd always claimed to be.
"I shouldn't be raising her; it should be her parents. They only had eight months with her, they deserved as many years as they can get."
"If this works, they will. You and Buck will be together again," Steve smiled at the thought of all of us being reunited.
"And what do you get?" I pondered.
"Me?"
"Yes, you. What do you get out of this?"
"I get my friends back." He shrugged simply, a small furrow line pinching the skin between his eyes highlighting his confused tone.
"Does that include Sharon?"
He hung his head, sighing.
"What?" I scoffed innocently. "I don't get to wonder why that never became a thing?"
"It's complicated–"
"Bullshit! Complicated is learning the love of your life is not only alive, after you think him dead, but is HYDRA's best assassin and has no memory of you whatsoever. That my friend is complicated."
"Okay, you've got a point," he chuckled. "It just didn't feel right, y'know?"
"I imagine it might be a little strange." I hooked an arm through his, directing us along the corridor towards the kitchen. "Dating isn't easy when you've met and lost the person you know you're meant to be with. But it's not impossible."
"Maybe I'll think about more if we make it through this time travel thing."
"Good, I'll hold you to that." I stated.
We entered the kitchen, my abrupt stop halting Steve's movement.
"What's wrong?" he frowned.
"What's wrong?" I motioned to the disaster of dinnerware stacked in and around the sink. Countertops sported half-eaten food and takeaway boxes. "This is about to become a bio-hazard." I moved away from him rolling up my sleeves, determined to fulfil the role of mother since my friends had little regard for themselves.
"It's not that bad, we've just been busy." Steve shrugged dropping my go-bag beside the dining table, also covered with plates, cups, and books.
I raised a stained cup full of stale coffee and a piece of moldy bread. "I don't know much about Infinity Stones, but I know everyone will need a decent meal when they wake up."
Steve rolled up his sleeves. "We better get to work then."
-x-
I lost track of the hours we worked after my arrival. We went through every detail about each Infinity stone, tracking their movements through the past until uncovering their exact locations assembled with one event that drew us together in the first place.
Fabricating equipment necessary to pull off this 'Time Heist' sailed over my head – put me on a battlefield and I'd fight until I'd run out of ammunition and my knuckles bled, but construction and quantum physics went way outside the realm of my expertise. I pitched in where I could under Tony's direction, ignoring how much enjoyment he got out of watching me do all the heavy lifting. And then until D-day dawned.
Nerves fluttered in my empty stomach as I followed the team into the changing rooms, discovering everyone's advanced tech suit but mine waiting. Natasha avoided looking at me, conversing quietly with Clint in the corner. Even Tony and James Rhodes refused to look in my direction.
Steve stepped into the tension, taking me by the elbow and leading me aside while the others changed and went through final preparations.
"I don't understand, where's my suit?" I searched his face for explanation before the words parted his lips. A moment to protect myself before rejection hit.
"We decided we needed someone to stay behind, who was strong enough to shut everything down if things go south." Steve explained gently, I figured fearing I would lash out as I had the last time he benched from a mission.
"No…" I started shaking my head, but Steve grabbed my arms, steadying me on the spot.
"We need someone who can make the tough call – to protect us all. If this mission goes south or the equipment fails, you've gotta shut it down. No matter if we're here or not–"
"Steve–"
"Gin," he cut me off as swiftly as I had him. "We trust you to watch our backs when we can't… to be here when we get back or be the last friendly face we see." He forced a smile raising a hand to my face. "I need you to do this for me, okay?"
I reluctantly nodded, uncomfortable with the way his eyes scrutinized me, as if he might never see me again. "Okay, I'll do it."
He forced a tightlipped smile, leaning down to kiss my cheek before heading to the changing room.
I walked quickly into the large warehouse-like space holding the large platform construction to take the team back in time. I positioned myself in front of the control panel, focused on the only switch necessary if the worse should happen. But it wouldn't. Doubt wouldn't overwhelm the belief I had in my friends – we'd faced and overcome difficult odds before.
"You okay with this, old girl?" Tony gently nudged my side, his forced smile I figured mirrored mine.
"I don't know about okay, but I understand the logic." I abruptly reached for him, drawing him into a tight hug. "You'll be back before you know it, I believe that."
I planted a kiss to his cheek and released him to join the others as they passed, gathering on the raised platform.
"Five years ago, we lost," Steve began drawing the team into a circle. "We lost friends. We lost family. We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams; you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back, one round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn't mean we should know what to expect." He looked around the group. "Be careful. Look out for each other."
His gaze caught mine, lingering as uncontrollable tears threatened to flood my eyes.
"This is the fight of our lives, and we're going to win… whatever it takes."
This mission meant more than any other we'd tackled before. We had the chance to rewrite history, to save billions of lives by collecting a handful of stones, and this time I almost felt as if we could win.