(Headmaster Hand)

"I'm back!" I call out, to the house, as I push through the front door.

I'm met with the familiar muted response.

Angie comes breezily down the hall. "How much did you get for the handbag?"

"500 pounds," I reply. "It's all they'd accept."

Pusher groans. "Is that it? That's just a week's worth of food!"

"Is it?!" Caroline asks incredulously, emerging from the drawing room. "Not for me, and my family! 500 pounds could last us a year!"

Pusher grumpily adjusts his hat. "Well, when you're a mayor, you're entitled to certain luxuries..."

"Look," I try to settle the scene. "We've got the money now, and if it's not enough, the worst that will happen is some of us getting jobs in the key worker sectors."

"Ha!" Pusher exclaims rudely, clearly in an awful mood today, for whatever reason. "I'm not being reduced to coal mining peasantry! Utter twaddle, that is."

"Well," Reggie says, lazily entering the hall. "If you want to survive, then you have to fend for yourself - isn't that what you told me, Pusher? When my cabin burnt down?"

Pusher turns red. "The financial situation of Tazmily-"

"...Is being spent on your luxury meals, apparently."

"Oh, but don't worry," Tessie chimes in. "Porky's come along, with all of his money and investment, to save the village! But oh no, watch out, he's actually a terrible person. Of course."

Pusher folds his thick arms, flabbergasted by the opposition. "Well! In my defence-"

"There is no defence," Reggie concludes, turning childishly on his heel. "Goodbye."

Fortunately, any further arguments are interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.

"I'll get it," I say. It'll probably just be the postman, or something. I walk down the hallway, and open it.

To reveal two police officers.

Who do not look happy.

I go for a winning smile. "How can I help you?"

An officer grabs me, dragging me forwards, slapping down handcuffs over my wrists. A harsh and brittle voice speaks. "Headmaster Hand. By order of Porky Minch, you are under arrest for forgery, assault, treason, breaking, and entering. Anything you say or do will be held against you in court."

"But-"

"No excuses." The policeman yanks me forwards, towards where a police horse awaits. "You're done. The orders from Porky are quite clear - you're gonna be locked up for life."

.

.

.

Chapter 49: Green Lights

(Ness)

.

.

.

As the train rolls into the station, I can only think, what an idiot I am.

I mean, it's not exactly been my day. First, I fell out with Villager. Then, I fell out with Toon Link, and my own boyfriend. And after all that, I end up on the roof of a fast moving train, only narrowly escaping being crushed to death, thanks to Lucas, who has once again managed to save my life.

So, I'm pretty much dreading the rest of the day.

The train's doors are promptly slid open by the conductors, and we're waved off the carriage, as we grab our things and pile out onto the station.

Thank God for Tracy, is all I can say. Seriously, she's a genius. Not only did she do what I asked - loaded up all the stuff from under my bed (I hope she didn't read all of Lucas's old letters, but who knows), but she also packed me clothes, my savings - everything, all in a neat package. She clearly inherited the smart genes of the family. And also, she delivered it on time, to Toon Link's address. Just as I said to do in the letter.

It's seriously awesome.

Even if it feels like she's saying goodbye.

"So, you're officially together now?" Lucas asks Villager, as he and the green-clad boy casually step off from the platform. "Like, boyfriends?"

"It's complicated," Toon Link gives a hearty wink, and a big fat grin. "Oh my, is it complicated."

"It's not really," Villager interrupts, with his trademark rationality. "We're giving things a go. Not anything official yet, but trying things out."

Pit nods, innocently. "Trying things out? I think the nurse still gives out free condoms-"

"That's what I said!" Toon Link exclaims, before promptly turning red. We all laugh at his expense, for a good long while, as we traverse up the gravel track, towards the great oak doors of the school.

I never thought I'd be seeing it again, in all honesty. But here it is; grey towers jutting out like spines, the familiar ivy, creeping more and more up the stone brickwork each day, the giant clocktower, dominant and looking over us in the centre. It's all here, all together, all as it should be. Undamaged. Unharmed. But yet… like a parasite within, I know Porky is probably beginning his work. Scheming. Planning. How can we protect all these people at once? I dread to think about it.

Claus stares up at the building, with wondrous eyes. He seems to be attracting quite a bit of attention from the other pupils - a couple pointing at the metal on his face, but I've not heard anything mean, yet. Lucas's glare is enough to deter any of that; a fierce look of He's with me. Don't touch. Or you die.

"Alright," Professor Shulk announces, looking rather a lot more exhausted, compared to usual. I frown - it's weird, not seeing him as his regular, chipper self. "The other train hasn't arrived yet, because of some delays, some issues, some things I'm not certain of, and, you see, Headmaster Porky's on that other train, so, when we go in, it is an unfortunate reality, that I must regret to announce… basically, the feast is most likely delayed."

There's a collective groan that rings out around the crowd. No matter the situation, it's a simple fact - deny teenagers their food, and they get upset.

"However," Rosalina says, withdrawing a long metal object from her pockets. "I do have the key. Please, go and sit in your year groups, on the assigned tables, in the main hall. I trust you all know the way."

There's a great click, as she unlocks the door, before the students surge forwards. Claus looks at Lucas excitedly as we enter, into the cavernous archway, illuminated as ever by the all-too-familiar gas lamps. A red carpet seems to have been laid down, though it swiftly becomes brown under hundreds of students's muddy feet.

Nevertheless, we follow it, the usual route, into the main hall.

"Why don't we eat the feast in the cafeteria?" Toon Link complains, sitting down in an empty space. "It's stupid. Having to eat it out here."

"It's just school tradition." Villager sits down beside him. "No doubt, Porky's had all the professors slaving away to create this…"

"It's cool!" Claus exclaims happily, looking all around him, at the sights. The chandeliers glistening. Purple and gold ribbons and banners draping the walls. Arches and pillars, eloquently carved, all over.

"It is." Lucas smiles softly. "I'm glad you like it."

"Well, I for one," Red sniffs, angrily. "Think that needs to go!" He points to a big banner reading: Welcome, Headmaster Porky!

I glower at it, with the biggest glare I can muster. "I agree strongly."

Claus suddenly shudders, letting out an involuntary moan of distress. "Porky…"

"We'll hide you from him," Lucas reassures again. "Look - you hardly stand out in the crowd…"

"Speaking of which," Pit frowns, looking around the room. "Where is everyone? It seems like half the school is missing."

Red folds his arms. "Do you ever listen? The other train. Professor Shulk said so."

"Such a shame," Toon Link gives Lucas a sneaky grin. "Nana, your beloved… She is absent."

Lucas turns a faint pink, the memory of her asking him to be her boyfriend, coming firmly back to him. "She isn't my beloved."

"Yep, that's my job." I cling happily to his arm.

"Lucas gives me a worried look. "Even though you're awesome, Ness… Perhaps less PDA in public? Just to be safe?"

I give a dramatic, reluctant sigh. "If you insist, my lord."

He gifts me a smile. "Thanks. We can save it up for later, though."

"Good heavens," Toon Link rolls his eyes, dramatically. "Save it for later, huh? Well, I think the nurse still hands out-"

"Toon Link!" Villager interrupts, shaking his head in dismay. "We don't need to hear that joke for a third time!"

"Fiiine…"

Red frowns. "But surely, two males would not need to use such protective implements? For one cannot fertilise the other-"

"Can we stop talking about gay sex?!" Pit exclaims, rather too loudly. A lot of people look over, snickering.

"Oh yeah," Toon Link mutters, his expression souring. "I forgot about that graffiti."

I shrug. "Well, dressing up in drag and singing to the whole school probably didn't stop those rumours."

"Still…"

Professor Rosalina clears her throat, at the front of the hall. "Hello again! Good evening, everyone! I'm afraid the second train is still not here - a tree has fallen onto the line, you see, so unfortunately, the others will be rather a while. In the meantime, I have decided, it is sensible not to keep you all waiting, and therefore to get the feast underway. So, enjoy!"

Excellent. Very much looking forward to tucking into a nice meal, I grab my knife and fork, and as some lovely looking cuts of meat arrive, I'm the first to pile them all onto my plate, stuffing my mouth full.

I catch a yellow bow bobbing through the sea of faces, before the owner quickly makes eye contact with me, and starts coming over. Laden with bags and cases, Paula manages to sit herself down in the seat beside me, looking very, very flustered.

"Good evening, Ness! You wouldn't believe what's been going on - it turns out I was sitting with the wrong year group!"

"Oh dear-"

Toon Link raises an eyebrow. "Ness? Who's this?"

"This is Paula," I quickly introduce. "Uh - my father tried to set me up with her, and in doing so… he paid for her tuition."

Paula looks around the hall, looking rather dazed. "Big, this. The eating hall at the preschool is a lot smaller…"

"We don't eat here normally!" Red exclaims, looking scandalised at the very thought. "We eat within the cafeteria."

"Oh - right-" Paula quickly puts down her mass of bags, shuffling through a rather large guidebook. "Yes - that's right, it says so here..."

"Have you got a roommate yet?" Lucas asks, worriedly. "Perhaps they could show you the way to your room - so you could put all those things away?"

"Oh, yes!" Paula's face lights up. "Great idea! My roommate, Professor Marth said it was Bayonetta - I was speaking to her earlier, actually! She seemed very nice."

Toon Link snorts into his bread.

Paula frowns. "What? Is something wrong?"

Villager gives Toon Link a chiding look. "No, nothing's wrong. She's perfectly nice. Quite chaotic, is all."

"Oh yes," Paula nods, earnestly. "She was telling me about some of the - uh - addictions she has. But I think I'll be able to help!"

I raise an eyebrow. "You do?"

"Absolutely!" Paula confidently places the guide book down, knocking a glass of water onto the chicken pieces. "Oh dear, that wasn't supposed to happen-"

"Don't worry about it," Pit hastily clears the water off of the table, giving Paula a kindly smile. "Accidents happen."

We tuck into some more food. Minutes go by, and there's still no sign of the other half of the school, so we just keep eating, and engaging in casual conversation. There's no Popo yet, nor Nana, or even any sign of Zelda - Link eats dejectedly by himself at the end of the long table. In fact, Link looks rather off form, compared to usual - I frown at the sight. I wonder what could be wrong? But I'm distracted by the arrival of a sumptuous looking plateful of fruit - licking my lips, I dig into the grapes.

It's going to be a weird atmosphere, once Porky arrives. But perhaps we'll get a clue as to who the new professors are; eyeing the professors' table, I can see a couple of unfamiliar faces amongst the ranks, most notably a blue haired man, and a man with a very large moustache, not looking too unlike Wario.

Rosalina catches me staring, and gives me a wave, which reminds me that Lucas and I have to pay her a visit after the meal. I wave back, hastily turning back to my plateful of food.

"There you are!" Bayonetta exclaims loudly, springing up behind Paula, scaring the bowed girl so much that she spills another glass of water.

"Ah - hello-"

"Oopsie!"

Pit clears up the water, yet again. "It's alright - multiple accidents happen..."

"Let's go to our dorm!" Bayonetta decides, picking up a number of Paula's bags. "C'mon! Let's get all this nice and tidy, hm?"

"Bayonetta? Don't you have a dorm mate already?" Villager asks.

"Oh, they went missing," Bayonetta waves a hand. "Oh, don't worry!" She adds, at Paula's terrified expression. "I didn't murder them, or anything!"

"R-Right-"

"Now, come on!"

The poor blonde girl gives us a last final look, before being practically dragged away by Bayonetta's keen grip.

"Interesting," Lucas says, continuing to eat his food.

Toon Link immediately turns to Pit. "You like her."

"You what?"

Toon Link's grin widens. "Oho. Don't play the fool! You totally have the hots for the new girl."

Put folds his arms, evidently affronted. "And why, pray tell, do you think that?"

Villager thinks to himself. "To be fair, you did clear up her water twice…"

"That's ridiculous!" Pit exclaims, with a nervous laugh. "Come on - we only just met her."

Toon Link smirks. "So why were you being so nice, hm?"

"'Cause I know what it's like to be the newbie? It's nothing deep! I don't even want a relationship at the moment, anyway, so you can take those ideas, and shove them up your-"

Toon Link holds his hands in the air. "Alright, alright. Fine. I'll believe you… for now."

"Good!"

I laugh quietly into my dinner. I will never grow tired of this group's antics, and Pit has been a real catalyst for them, of late. It's great to see he's getting better, finding that old jokey self again. In a weird way, I missed it.

"What's that?" Claus asks, pointing to a slice of meat.

"It's beef," Lucas explains. "Want some?"

"Is it good?"

"Yeah, if it's cooked well."

"It is," I say, through a mouthful of it. Honestly, I've got no idea how vegetarians get by. Meat is just so good. Unless it's pork. I don't think I can ever eat pork again, thanks to a certain large supervillain.

All of a sudden, the doors to the hall burst open.

Everyone turns in alarm.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

Porky walks down the centre of the hall, a smug expression on his face, as he drinks in the attention. His hair is noticeably greyer than when we last saw him, but now it's slicked back in an oily fashion, over his head. He wears long white sleeves, to cover up his ruined arm, sharp, tailor-made shoes, a red and black striped waistcoat, with a neat red tie. He looks worn down, if anything, but he's still deeply intimidating, as he swaggers confidently down the middle, followed by a string of disheveled students.

He grins, heartily. "Sorry I'm late."

"We had to start without you," Professor Rosalina explains through the silence, her disapproval well-masked. "But, we're glad you could make it."

Claus gives an involuntary noise of discontentment. Lucas wraps a comforting arm around him.

"Yes! Absolutely. Eat up, everyone." Porky waves a hand, heading over to the staff table. I breathe a sigh of relief.

The late students all sit themselves down, tucking in to the scraps of food that remain, as if nothing much happened. Shrugging, I continue working on the fruit bowl, as ambient chatter fills the hall again.

Lucas frowns. "When's that speech happening, then?"

"Oh, he'll give it eventually," Villager mutters, darkly. "He's just working things out - God, isn't he repulsive, though?"

"Oh yes," Toon Link agrees, miming throwing up. "He almost turns me straight."

I feel a familiar tension creeping up my spine, even though it shouldn't be there. We technically survived 2 weeks with Porky here as headmaster before the wilderness survival week - what's the bet we can't do it again?

There's some shuffling noises from the professors' table. Porky finally takes the front of the room, a lopsided appearance to his face, that makes him look rather like a toad. He smiles wide, spreading his arms. "Well then! Hello, everybody!"

"Hello," comes the dull chorus of the students.

"With a little more energy than that!"

"Hello," comes the dull chorus of students, very marginally louder.

"Right then." Porky lays down his hands, on the lectern, eyes looking rather too excited for my liking. "Okay! So, I'm your new headmaster. You can call me Headmaster Minch. Don't worry! I don't bite!"

Nobody laughs.

Porky continues, "Now, I'm sure all of you recognise me, like, hey, that Porky guy? Isn't he that inventor? The one who owns all those companies? Well, yeah! That's me. What is he doing here? You ask. Well. I think it's high time I gave back to the community, and so, when Headmaster Hand was unfortunately revealed to be an imposter, I kindly volunteered myself to fill the role."

I find it deeply ironic that Porky himself was the imposter. Not only that, but a good few professors know this. However, I suppose, the Onett government would've hired him… and we all know who controls the Onett government.

"Now," Porky resumes, cheerily. "I assure you, I'm not just some randomer, turning up and pretending they know how to run a school, not at all. See, I've always believed in education! And knowledge, too, as knowledge… knowledge is power. And I wish to empower a generation of young minds, so that one day, you may all invent like me! Lead, like me! I want to give everyone a good chance. But of course, everyone must work their hardest..."

Some muttering breaks out at this, and understandably so. Those words imply a lot of effort, and concerningly high standards.

"But!" Porky exclaims. "Aha - it's not all boredom! After all, who'd pay to send their kids to study textbooks, and learn? Certainly not me! So, I'm scheduling in some fun stuff as well."

I grimace. That can't be any good.

"On Monday!" Porky counts on his fingers. "Three days away! We will be having a sports day! And even better - everyone gets to compete!"

Oh, joy.

"And on Friday, next week," Porky continues. "Prom! Winter formal. Get your best outfits, and pair up, because, oho, it sure will be a night to remember."

Something in the way he says that gives me chills. He almost definitely has a nasty plan prepared.

"Now, I don't want to keep you from your feast any longer!" Porky laughs, amicably. "However, I would first like to outline a couple rule changes, that unfortunately, the Onett government has requested I bring in."

Grumbling.

"First of all, corporal punishment is making a return to the school..."

"YAHAAAAAA!" A delighted roar immediately comes from Bowser. "AT LAST!"

"But," Porky continues, as though nothing happened. "You shouldn't worry. It'll only be for those who misbehave - so as long as you behave… you should be safe."

More grumbling.

"Now, also," Porky continues. "Due to - ah - unsafe circumstances as of late, the government has requested that security in the school be increased. Therefore, Professors will be continuing to patrol, it is highly advised you travel in groups, and a new curfew has been put in place, of 8pm."

There's instant outcry. Shouting and disagreement break out, various choice words being thrown around, and Porky's knuckles turn white with fury.

"QUIET!"

Silence falls. Porky immediately recovers himself, with a smile.

"Thank you. Now, this is all for your own safety, of course. So I would ask you to follow those measures to the absolute letter. Is that understood?"

There's minimal response. Porky takes it as a yes.

He steps back. "Alrighty! Well then, I shall not hold you from this delicious feast, any longer. If you have any queries, please visit my office. Enjoy!"

With a twirl, Porky walks back to the staff table, his mask of amiability swiftly vanishing, as he sits back down. I trail my eye on him, as he forcibly impales a slice of beef - he looks up, catches me staring, and gives me what can only be described as an evil grin.

I gulp, looking down at my plate.

"Sorry!" Rosalina rushes suddenly to the front of the hall, grabbing everyone's attention again. "One more thing, everybody - we have two new professors with us today, following the tragic losses of Professor Ryu and Professor Wario. Teaching history, we have Professor Byleth-"

The blue haired man raises a casual hand in greeting.

"-And teaching business, Professor Mario."

A short man, with a big moustache, and a giant red cap hops merrily from the staff table. "It-sa me, Mario!"

"WAAAA! HOLD ON!" Emerging also from the staff table, to my shock, is none other than the man who scammed me in the street. "Waluigi is the new Business professor!"

Confused, Rosalina checks her notes, looking back at the pair. "Well then - it seems there's been a mixup - Erm, we'll have to sort that out later - but for now, everyone, please enjoy your meal!"

She hurries back over to the table, separating the bickering Waluigi and Mario, and I turn my attention back to my friends.

"Porky did a good job of acting sane, there."

"Yeah," Villager agrees. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was competent."

"Going for the likeable approach," Toon Link says, popping a grape into his mouth. "A prom, huh? I can hardly invite a peasant boy like yourself, Villager."

Villager groans, dramatically. "Oh, great. Are we going to have to pair up with girls?"

"Well, you can relight your spark with Zelda!"

"Shush!" Villager exclaims, glancing towards the aforementioned Zelda, sitting just a few places away. Fortunately, she doesn't seem to hear, and she continues eating a sandwich. I frown, though - why's she alone? Why isn't she with Link? Why does Link look so wistful - did they break up!?

"Guys!" I whisper, frantically. "I think Link and Zelda have separated!"

Toon Link elbows Villager. "Great news for you!"

Pit laughs. "No way have they actually split up. C'mon."

"Look!" I point. "They're not even sitting together!"

Lucas frowns. "Weird…"

"Hey Pit!" Toon Link exclaims, enthusiastically changing the subject back again. "You can invite Paula to the prom!"

"I think not!" Bayonetta snaps, suddenly arriving back. "She's all mine!"

Pit quickly raises his hands. "I don't like her like that-"

Bayonetta sharply narrows her eyes, behind her glasses. "Sure thing, mate. From now on - you are Bayonetta's enemy, number one!"

"What?!"

"So there!" Bayonetta beams, very passive aggressively.

"Weren't you with Samus, Bayonetta?" I ask, trying to diffuse some of the tension.

"Ha!" She waves a hand. "Not for long. Turns out she's ace. Boooooring."

"Oh…"

"Now, I must be off!" Bayonetta chirps, happily. "But I'm watching you, Pit…" She glares, drawing a line across her throat. Pit gulps, as the crazy lady saunters away.

"I don't even know her!" Pit protests, once she's gone. "I've only spoken to Paula two times - this is crazy!"

Toon Link raises an eyebrow. "Or are you crazy... in love?"

Pit waves his arms in desperation. "You said you believed me, earlier!"

"I lied. Rule number one, Toon Link always lies."

"Lying is bad!" Claus protests.

"Agreed," Red agrees.

"Look," Lucas measures. "How about we stop bullying Pit, for now, and worry about Porky? He's got something planned for the prom - I can sense it."

"Me too," I chime in.

Claus shudders, once again. "I don't like Porky."

"Nor do we," Lucas replies. "But-"

"Porky pretend to be nice," Claus insists, firmly. "Porky not nice really."

"We know," Lucas says. "Now, what do we do? How do we take him down from here?"

Pit shrugs. "Shoot him with an arrow?"

"Isn't his life force connected to the Future Humans?" I ask, worriedly. "As in - so long as they're alive, so is he? We can't kill them all."

"We don't need to kill him, or all of the Future Humans," Lucas insists. "We just need to stop him from causing any harm, - and show people what he's really like."

"I like that," Villager ponders, intrigued. "The people are the power - that sort of idea. If we could show proof - if everyone mistrusted him…"

"He controls the media, though," Red intercedes, sharply. "How would we broadcast our message?"

"Well…" We all look around at each other.

Nobody really has any response, so it's with a heavy heart, that the feast ends with a vague feeling that we might be in the wrong place.

"Maybe we should've gone to New Porky City…" Toon Link wrings his hands, taking the lead through the main corridor. "At least we could've saved some people."

"We'd be killed on sight," I reply. "It'd be teeming with Future Humans."

"Still, that'd be better than being stuck here. We're so far from the action! I don't want to be doing exams, whilst a maniac is taking over the world!"

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," Pit says, darkly. "And, Porky's right here."

"But we don't even know where to start!"

"We need to find out what he wants," Lucas says, reasonably. "We need to understand why he's doing this - we need to figure out why the grave is in the forest, too, and what's inside that golden egg. Maybe then we'll find out how to deal with him?"

Toon Link turns, visibly agitated. "But where do we a begin with all that?"

"I don't know - but we might soon get some clues. Ness and I," Lucas glances at me. "We need to go to Rosalina's office, because apparently, Ryu left some instructions, or something."

"Then we'll get investigating in the meantime," Toon Link decides.

Red looks up, hopefully. "We could play pool?"

Claus frowns. "What's pool?"

"How about you all show Claus to his dorm?" I suggest. "Meta Knight and Olimar's old room - make sure to get rid of the lewd posters and stuff, though."

Toon Link begins to protest, but Villager interrupts. "That's a good idea. C'mon, Toon Link. There's nothing we can do to investigate now."

"There's loads of things we can do!"

Villager puts a firm hand on his shoulder. "Then we'll do them later. When we're less tired.

Toon Link sighs. "Fine, I guess…"

"Great!" Villager removes his hand, pleased. "Alright, then, Ness, Lucas, where should we meet?"

"Toon Link's room?" I suggest.

"Alright," Villager waves. "See you soon, then."

"See you."

They walk off, Claus happily in tow. I quickly turn to Lucas.

"So, what's the real plan?"

He looks up. "Huh?"

"Y'know - the one that just the two of us come up with, that leads us into an epic adventure without conclusion."

Lucas scratches his head. "Uh, going and seeing Rosalina is really all I've got…"

"Ah." My heart sinks, just a little. "Alright. Let's do that then."

So we do.

I'm grateful for Rosalina, I truly am. She's lovely, she's kind, she's thoughtful, like a second mother to me. But if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - she's overbearing as hell. So when she bustles us into her office within seconds of Lucas's nervous knock, and practically forces biscuits into our hands, I'm already feeling overwhelmed.

Lucas sits nervously in his seat, as Rosalina pores down on us. Oh, the disadvantages of being small - everyone thinks you're a child still.

"So," I try. "Uh-"

Rosalina cuts in, speaking calmly. "So, Professor Ryu seems to have left you some things, in his will."

"Things," I echo, looking at the large cardboard box before us, labelled Ness and Lucas. "Right."

"I've not looked through," Rosalina raises her hands, as if to prove her innocence. "But, it was clearly stated…" She hastily puts on her reading glasses, looking closely at an aged piece of parchment. "'The box on top of the bookshelf, the contents are for ownership of Ness and Lucas. In my absence, they shall have to continue their quest alone, and I believe these items should come to use.'" She looks up. "That's all it said."

I swallow down the frog in my throat. "That's… nice of him."

"Why did he have a will?" Lucas asks, quietly. "He wasn't that old."

Rosalina sighs, unhappily. "Well, it is a general fact, that those with powers like ours - their life expectancies are significantly decreased. Mostly due to hunters, and slave traders, and the like. But also… Ryu, he was just the sort of person who would know when the right time to write a will was."

"Did he leave you anything?" I ask.

"A couple of things," Rosalina replies. She chooses not to elaborate, changing the topic quickly back. "So, these items, whatever they are, are yours to keep, and to use as you see fit." She pushes the box forwards, across the table. Awkwardly, I lift it - it's surprisingly heavy - and I place it down on the floor.

In truth, I've not really been thinking about Ryu. Not nearly as much as I should, or as much as he deserves. But honestly, it just makes me sad, whenever I think of him. And then I reenact it in my mind, him pinning Porky down, giving his life. The fire washing over him. And then I get angry, remembering the sacrifice was for nothing, and then - well, it's a bad train of thought, really. One I can only take a few times a day. Even if I feel I should be doing more.

But I suppose, what he'd want most of all, is for us to win the fight. And if Lucas being in danger wasn't enough to motivate me already, that is.

"Also," Rosalina adds, looking back down at the will. "Professor Byleth. Your new History professor. Ryu himself specifically requested that he be hired - I do not know why, I haven't met him before - but I made sure that he was chosen for the job."

"What about Professor Mario and Waluigi?"

Rosalina shrugs. "Porky's choice - or choices. His first act as Headteacher, and he double hires." Her expression sours, significantly. "Yknow - I'd quit this job right away - if it weren't for the students. I have to keep you all safe from that rotten bastard."

It's the first time I've heard her use language that strong. It's jarring, but apt.

"You do a good job," I say.

She smiles, though only with her mouth. "You are very kind to say so. Now - before I let you go, one more thing… Ness… those therapy sessions, are you still wanting those to continue?"

I'd forgotten about them. "Not really," I reply. I realise, silently, that I've not heard from Buttercup, that weirdly named negative voice in my head, in days. "But thank you for the offer."

She nods. "Not a problem. And remember, you can drop in anytime. And," she stuffs another bunch of biscuits into our hands. "These go out of date tomorrow. Please, take them."

"Alright-"

"Stay safe!" Rosalina waves. There's never been a clearer cue to leave, so Lucas and I, despite being laden with biscuits, manage to haul the box of things up, and out into the hall.

"Right!" I exclaim, looking down at the package. "I suppose we should take this to our room?"

Lucas shrugs. "I guess."

It's weighty, and it takes us a few minutes and a few biscuits, but we eventually haul it up the stairs, into our dorm corridor. I reach out to open our door, but Lucas suddenly stops me.

I frown. "What's up?"

"Could be trapped," Lucas whispers, quietly.

"Smart."

"Someone has to be."

"What do we do?"

Lucas looks up and down the hall, before picking up a conveniently discarded broomstick. "Watch and learn."

He twists the door handle with his fingers at first - but once that's done, he hastily steps back, brandishing the broom like a sword. I watch as he pushes the door very gradually open, our dorm slowly coming into view.

"Clear?" I ask.

Lucas shrugs. "Seems to be."

We step inside. It seems to be the same as we left it last, our beds on either side, the bookshelf, the chest of drawers. I lay the box of things on the bed, along with the bag of supplies from Tracy, before giving the wardrobe a quick check - the golden egg is still there. Good.

"She seemed to be doing alright…" Lucas begins, looking out of the window at the night sky.

"Yeah," I agree, joining him. "Or, she's a very good actor."

"Perhaps…" Lucas sighs. "It's hard to tell."

"Yeah…"

Lucas looks up at me. "Do you wanna close the door?"

"Aren't we going to Toon Link's room?"

"Well, yeah, but…" He turns, looking curiously at the box of things from Ryu.

Getting the message, I cross the room, closing the door - before suddenly, a bucket of cold water tumbles down onto my head.

"AA-"

"HAHAAAAA!" Porky suddenly leaps out from under Lucas's covers. I recoil in alarm, slipping on the wet floor, and falling to the floor.

"Ness!"

"Amazing! I almost thought you were smart!" Porky guffaws, nearly doubling over with mirth. "Pushing the door open all slow, but, noooo… wham! Gotcha!"

Bedraggled and shivering, I shake the water out of my hair. "W-W-Why-?"

Porky shrugs. "You're just so fun to mess with."

Lucas steps forwards, shaking with quiet anger. "Why are you in here?"

"Oh - hah - Lucas-" Porky wipes tears of laughter from his eyes. "Sorry, sorry… so rude of me…"

Lucas balls his hands into fists. "Well?"

"To have fun!" Porky replies, cheerily grabbing Lucas's pillow, and hitting him over the head with it. "Y'know! All this - it's like being a kid again - except this time, I make all the rules, and everyone does what I say!"

Lucas stretches out a hand, helping me off the floor. I stand, sopping wet, dripping all over the carpet. Porky's like that little sibling, that won't get out of your room - and you can't make him go by force, and you can't get mad, or he'll tell mom. Or in this case, he'll kill us.

I tremor, with the cold. "That was unnecessary."

"Unnecessary?" Porky faux-pouts, leering at me. "Oh, sorry, did I hurt your feelings?"

"Go to hell."

"Ooooh!" Porky jumps with excitement. "Ooooh, I made you angry! That's super-duper fun, that is."

Lucas sighs. "Haven't you got headmaster duties?"

Ignoring the question, Porky's beady eyes light up, seeing the box from Ryu on my bed. "Ooooh! What's that! Toys for me to play with?"

"It's empty," Lucas lies. "You can leave, now."

"I love empty boxes!" Porky says excitedly, waddling as fast as he can towards it.

"Stop!" I exclaim, rushing forwards.

"Why?" Porky's eyes flash with malice, as he turns to me. "Empty, isn't it?"

"It's none of your business," Lucas says, firmly.

Porky gives an oh-so-sweet-and-innocent smile. "None of my business, huh? What if I brought in some of my little friends? Some Future Humans? Then could I have a peek?"

Lucas and I exchange a fearful glance.

I edge towards the box, ready to grab it at a moment's notice. "Aren't you supposed to be busy taking over the world? Not stealing cardboard from teenagers?"

Porky waves a stray hand. "Yeah, yeah, it's still happening, no biggie, really."

"No biggie?!"

He grins. "Yeah! Now…" He slows, turning back to the box, his eyes greedy and excited. He reaches out one ugly hand, tracing his fingers over the lid. "I do wonder what could be inside. All of Ness and Lucas's dark and filthy secrets? Now, that would be fun..."

I yank it from him. "Just - go away!"

"HEY!" Porky turns to me, furious. "My box!"

"My box, you big creep!"

"Right then!" In an instant, Porky grabs Lucas by the shoulder, shoving a blade up to his throat. "I feel like we've been here before, Ness! If only you obeyed your superiors! The box, or Lucas gets it."

I surge forwards. "Let him go!"

Lucas coughs and splutters, eyes wide. "Dammit - just give it to him!"

I look reluctantly at the blade in Porky's hand. He's bluffing, of course - but he's still dangerous. I'll have to hand it over.

"Fine," I mutter, placing the heavy box down on the floor. "But-"

Grinning, Porky practically pounces down on it, before he's interrupted by a knock at the door.

Toon Link's voice sounds. "Lucas? Ness? You coming?"

Porky snarls. "Clear off, side characters."

Toon Link's voice becomes a lot more frantic. "Villager! Pit! Red! Quick, it's Porky!" There's scuffling in the hall, before the door bursts quickly open, the quartet piling inside.

"What's happening!?" Villager demands.

Porky rolls his eyes. "Didn't I say to clear off? Can't we have some alone time? They're my friends too, you know. You can't have them all to yourself!"

"Why is Ness covered in water?" Red asks, harshly.

Porky raises his hands in the air. "Just a little prank of mine! Touchy…"

"And what's that box?" Toon Link adds, pointing.

Standing up straight, Porky aims a kick at the cardboard. "Nothing important." I wince at the breaking noise that comes from within.

"Leave them alone," Pit says, firmly stepping forwards. "Or we'll tell the other professors what you're doing."

"Well, alright, then." Porky rolls his eyes. "If you're so keen to get rid of me… I've got a meeting with a first year student, about punishing him for drug consumption. And he's pretty good looking - so I don't want to be late, talking to you scroungers!"

His words make me feel sick to the stomach. Everyone in the room looks repulsed at the thought.

"Goodbye, then! Catch you later, Lukey!" Porky gives a little wave, before sauntering out. Lucas closes his eyes momentarily, before resurfacing again.

"I hate him so much."

"We all do," Toon Link reassures him, with a pat on the back. "And now we can add being a literal pedophile to his list of negative qualities."

"It was already on there," Villager says, darkly. "The Emerald Emporium - the biggest brothel he owns - is famed for hiring kids as employees."

I feel sick again. I can't bear to think any more about it.

Pit's expression softens. "He didn't hurt you all too bad, did he?"

"He only covered Ness in water," Lucas replies, flatly.

Toon Link snorts slightly. "Yeah. How about we all go back to my room - and Ness can change, and join us when he's done?"

"Alright," Lucas agrees. "But Ness - please lock the door, on your way out."

"I will."

The others file out, leaving me on my own.

The box from Ryu now looms in the centre of the room. I suppose we'll get a chance to open it later - though the temptation creeps round my shoulder, just to have a look… but no. I can't. Not without Lucas. Heaving it up off the ground, I load it up into the wardrobe for safekeeping, closing the door tight shut. Truth be told, I get weird vibes from it. I feel hyper-aware around it, suddenly knowledgeable of every movement in the room - and I don't like it. It needs to be kept away.

Fortunately, Tracy's care package doesn't cause me any mental disturbances. It's full of nice, dry clothes, that I change nice and quickly into. There's a couple hundred quid in there too (my savings, of course - Tracy wouldn't be so generous), some letters from Lucas - oh, and of course, some old stuffed animals, that I tuck under my covers. I need to remember to Tracy write a thank-you letter for all this. It's a godsend, after the fire of a couple weeks ago. I can't wear the same blue and yellow striped shirt any longer.

I change, nice and quickly. I notice Tracy's packed my old cap, and I figure why not, putting it on my head. It still fits, just about. I pack the rest of the clothes away, and look around, relatively pleased.

Still a little shaken up from the encounter with Porky, I leave the room, locking the door behind me, heading down to Toon Link's dorm.

This is going to be a weird, weird term.

A/N

A slightly shorter chapter, but still a nice one, I think. Some proper introductions to Byleth and Mario/Waluigi are to come soon, along with the opening of the Ryu Box, and a couple other things. There's suddenly a lot to do and a lot to write about, now they're back at school! But that's pretty cool.

I keep getting unsure on how to portray Porky. I don't think I want him to be scary, but I want him to be dangerous, and unpredictable, and that is hard to portray with text, without being too wordy… so it is what it is. But he's a lot of fun to write, even if he is generally an awful, awful person.

Thanks for reading, as always!

~ReadyForTeddy