Running for my goddamn life, A goddamn desert
Why the hell does it always hafta be me? Why can't I just get some easy gigs and-
The rhythm of Hol Horse's boots on the shrapnel filled sand is suddenly thrown off as he feels a sudden impact on his back.
"Heya buddy, don't mind if I hitch a ride?" Joseph's playful voice prickles his nerves, not to mention the weight of the large man holding onto his body like a backpack.
"Don't drag me into this one, Jojo!" Hol Horse continues to sprint away as they bicker, though his footsteps are noticeably slower and heavier now with Joseph on his back. In between each step, he can feel the blood seeping from Joseph's foot onto his stomach.
Goddamn idiot! He's gonna kill us both!
"Guuuu—NYA!" A shriek bellows from High Priestess behind them, accompanied by a whoosh that blows past Hol Horse's ear. A metallic spear tip sails by them, barely missing as it sails into the air in front of them.
"Ha!" Joseph screams into Hol Horse's ear as the spear starts to fall to the ground. "Missed us, you big-"
Barely a second after Joseph starts gloating, the spear reforms into High Priestess, which lands in a thunk in front of them, a wild look behind its masked face.
"Guuuuu-"
"We can talk this out…" Stopped in his tracks, Hol Horse backs up warily as the enemy Stand inches closer. "Don't say it…"
With a sudden spring, High Priestess lunges at both of them, screaming "-NY-"
"'NYA' this on for size!" With a lightning quick movement, Joseph thrusts his still functional arm out, Trickster Purple snaking its way from his palm and wrapping around High Priestess. The vine grasps on tightly and, with an exaggerated yanking motion from Joseph, sends the small masked Stand behind them in an arc.
"Really? Best ya could come up wi-" Hol Horse spins as he speaks, watching the trajectory of the Stand as Joseph's vine releases it. It crashes into the sand below, followed by a large explosion that interrupts his speech. "…The hell was that?"
"Oh, that was a mine you stepped over earlier. I had to put a lot of Hamon into that jump to send you stumbling over it." Without even looking him in the eye, Hol Horse can feel Joseph's wide grin burning into the back of his skull. A hand reaches in front of Hol Horse's face and gives him a thumbs-up.
"Why didn't ya just warn me, ya goddamn idiot!"
"Because I couldn't have killed that Stand wit-" As the smoke billows from the crater behind them, Hol Horse spots a faint movement in the sand in front of them.
"Guuuu…" Arising from a bump in the sand, the slightly charred High Priestess grinds its teeth and stares down Hol Horse…or Joseph. Hard to say, but either way, the bloodthirsty menace coming from it chills Hol Horse to the bone.
"Don't just stand there, ol' buddy ol' Horse. Giddy up!" Joseph smacks Hol Horse's shoulder, shaking him from the sense of impending doom in the air.
"Alright, alright!" Turning to sprint, Hol Horse cocks his head back to address Joseph. "Mind tellin' me where the goddamn landmines are now?"
"Uh…about that. We just passed the last few that I knew about…"
Hol Horse can feel all of his organs drop to his stomach in dread.
"…Yer gonna kill me. I'm dyin' in this damn desert, I'm-"
"Hey woah, no panicking there, friend. I have this under control…" With some rustling behind them, Hol Horse can barely make out the sound of plastic and cords being set up. Then, he hears some faint drums and electric guitar…
"Yer tellin' me not to worry, then ya just start playin' some pop song?" Hol Horse's footsteps grow more desperate and haggard as he continues to run, not bothering to try and look behind him for High Priestess or Joseph's sudden need for music.
"NYA!" Impacts crash behind his feet as he sprints. Hol Horse tries not to think about what object could've impaled him there. However, in a split instant afterwards, he hears what sounds like the crackling of electricity.
"Hey, uh, Hol Horse. Jump."
"Why-"
"Just jump, you blubbering cowpoke!" Without further hesitation, Hol Horse makes a long leap in his stride, barely landing with any grace at all as he stumbles back into his sprint.
"Would ya care ta explain-" Before he can chock out another word, another large explosion shakes the ground behind them.
"I've got some help in finding our way through these mines…" The sound of electricity crackling in the air fills Hol Horse's ears before Joseph pulls at his left shoulder, "Now, turn!"
East of Shalamcheh, 1988
Electric guitar and a relaxed drum beat fill Joseph's ears.
"LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL."
Joseph chuckles a bit to himself, then guides his eyes upward. He locks on to the gently drifting container, its parachute gently whipping onward with the wind.
Heh, who knew Kars could be so helpful. Looks like we're clear for a bit…shouldn't have much longer until it lands.
He turns his shoulder and cranes his head back, holding the headphones to his ears with his stump arm while his good arm clings onto Hol Horse. Sure enough, High Priestess is still hot on their heels, barely slowed by the numerous landmines it's tripped.
Damn thing must be turning into some other mineral as soon as it triggers an explosion… Still, it looks like it can't catch up to us with all the slowdowns.
Swing back around, Joseph squints at the dunes up ahead of them. Even all the way out here, the sand is littered with shrapnel and undetonated shells.
Tch…even in the future, people are killing each other for empty desert…
Before he can think any deeper on that thought, the music in his ears breaks its rhythm and suddenly shifts to another portion of the song.
"IF THEY'VE GOT THUNDER APPEAL, LET THEM BE ON YOUR SIDE."
Focusing, he tries to pinpoint the which headphone played the words…
"Hol Horse, left!"
Without a beat dropped, Hol Horse pivots to the left, causing the Stand chasing them to overshoot the turn and trigger another landmine. Swiveling his head to try and see, Joseph can't seem to make out the form of the Stand amidst the explosion. He can, however, feel Hol Horse talking, though the sound of the music drowns out the probable complaints spewing from the cowboy's mouth.
"LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL."
In the clear again…but, if explosions can't hurt it…hm. We might need to get this ally of ours and retreat to Jotaro. I'm sure he could smash it to bits. First things first, though…
Joseph's eyes scan the sky, spotting their package drifting lower and lower. Up ahead of them is a large dune, more than likely their mark is going to land-
We can catch it when we slide down the other side! Then we can use that momentum to reposition and-
"LET THEM LEAVE YOU UP IN THE AIR. LET THEM BRUSH YOUR ROCK AND ROLL HAIR."
"Jump, cowboy, jump!" With emphatic pointing, Joseph signals for Hol Horse to evade the landmine ahead of him. He can feel the cowboy tense up to start a jump, causing Joseph to shift to try and spot High Priestess again.
But, as Hol Horse jumps, he sees nothing trailing them. Even after landing, there's not trace of the enemy Stand tailing them, nor is there an accompanying explosion behind them. Lowering his headphones, Joseph taps Hol Horse on his shoulder.
"Hey, uh, have you seen that Stand?"
"Hell no! All I see is more goddamn sand and the heart attack yer gonna give me!"
"Hm. Just head over that dune. We might have finally outrun it…" A sinking feeling fills Joseph's insides, but he tries to shake it off as he spies the parachuted container cross over the dune in front of them.
Practically climbing with all four limbs, Hol Horse scrambles up the side of the steep wall of sand. As they crest the top, they both see their supposed ally's container drifting slowly downwards. Looking around, Joseph notes that the sand seems to form a deep bowl or pit of some kind here, more than likely blocking the wind from dragging the package any further. If he had to estimate, it was almost a fifty foot drop.
"Uh, do we wait fer it? Might take more time than we got…" Hol Horse scratches the side of his head, sweat utterly drenching every inch of his skin. Joseph can feel the raggedness of his breath, and pats him on the shoulder. He holds up one headphone to his ear and listens.
"LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL."
"Nope! I've got it from here. All you have to do is jump."
"Alright…just one last jump…" Hol Horse mumbles to himself as he coils his legs at the top of the dune.
"Aim for the package, I'll do the rest!" With a lurch, Hol Horse throws himself into a sloppy leap towards the descending container, right over the center of the sand pit.
As they careen through the air, Joseph throws his good arm out to reach for the package midair.
"Trickster Purple!" The vine darts straight forward, rushing towards the package. It almost connects, but seems to be a bit too short.
Damn, he must've been too tired for a full jump! Gotta think fast!
"Jooooseppphhhh!" Hol Horse screams as he starts to plummet to the center of the pit, apparently surprised that Joseph's plan didn't work.
"Tch…ZOOM PUNCH!" With an intense burst of pain, Joseph's arm dislocates itself at the shoulder and extends further and further…until Trickster Purple latches onto the container. A surge of Hamon numbs the pain just as his Stand goes taut, their momentum now swinging them to the other side of the sand pit. Before he can gloat, Joseph hears a bit more from his headphones.
"LET THEM MAKE YOU A CLOWN."
That's…not good.
As they fling to the other side of the pit, the package towed behind them by Joseph's Stand, the sand below them starts to shift and transform. The rims of the pit seem to dissolve into colossal teeth, and from the center of the pit an enormous tongue breaches the sand. Soon enough, they collide with the side wall of the pit, now resembling the fleshy interior of a mouth.
"What the hel-" Hol Horse's shouting is interrupted by the sudden impact, causing both of them to tumble down until they are caught by the massive tongue. Looking up, Joseph sees the toothy rim of the pit close above them, leaving them in an eerie dimness. Rows of teeth surround the upper part of mouth, with the other side fading away to blackness. More than likely the throat…
As Joseph lands on the tongue, he can feel it undulating under him. Hol Horse lands beside him with a squish, followed by a thud as the container lands directly on his abdomen.
"Eugh, gross." Joseph tries to wipe himself off, taking time to examine his foot wound. It had sealed up while they were running, but it certainly was a deep enough wound that Hamon alone won't heal it before he needs to run anywhere…
Suddenly, a booming voice echoes around them, the force blowing gusts of air through Joseph's hair.
"I'VE GOT YOU NOW, JOESTAR. EVEN THE TRAITOR COWBOY, TOO. DIO WILL BE PLEASED."
"Before ya ask," Hol Horse pushes the container to the side and coughs as he addresses Joseph, "Her name is Midler, and no, she ain't gonna listen to reason. She's got a big ole crush on DIO, the freak…"
"QUIET, HOL HORSE. IF THERE'S SOMETHING I HATE MORE THAN LIES, IT'S THOSE WHO WOULD BETRAY DIO."
"Yeah yeah…" Hol Horse dejectedly shakes himself off and looks in the container. His face contorts to an awful, pathetic look of resignation.
"What's that look for, cowpoke?" Joseph asks inquisitively, his eyes drifting away as he examines the gigantic maw they've found themselves in.
"Your bet was wrong, Jojo." He turns the container, revealing it to be a pet crate. He opens the front gate of it, showing its contents to Joseph. "They sent us a goddamn dog, Jojo. A dog!"
Drifting out of the container and down the gullet of the massive mouth, the bottom half of a ripped piece of paper flutters in the breeze of the Stand's words. From the brief glimpse he got, Joseph reckons it used to be some instructions before the crate violently collided with the wall…
"I risked my damn neck for a mutt!"
Hm…dog or not…we have to get out this one. I owe Anne some money…
END of CHAPTER 27