Good Thanksgiving Please ...?
- Dipper's POV -
A few days have passed since the attack. I shivered at the memory, fear coming back on. But I soon pushed it away. I swear, I'll be more careful next time with my surroundings. I soon slid back into reality, staring at my medication bottle. I frowned slightly, placing it back into the medicine cabinet. I need to remember to take it every morning, I haven't been doing that and I think the stress is carrying from yesterday to today through my sleep to prevent me from doing that. I closed the cabinet and walked out of the bathroom. Glad I reminded myself this morning, although I don't take it until the next morning ... so I have to make sure I train my brain to not overthink certain thoughts. And I think I've been doing that lately, so we're all good. I stood outside of the bathroom and over at the hallway. I walked over to the living room arch, poking in to see my sister sitting on the couch. She was watching ... whatever show she was. I leaned on the archway, turning to the TV.
"Dipper, Mabel." I turned my head over at the voice, staring at Grunkle Stan.
"Yes?" Me and my sister both said.
"Can you guys run out and get a few items ... I managed to miss some yesterday." He asked.
"Isn't it like ... almost night time?" I asked. Although everyone seemed to ignore my statement.
"Sure!" I flinched from Mabel standing right next to me. I didn't even notice she got up from the couch.
"Good! I'll go get my wallet and hand you two the money- DON'T. Spend it on anything else besides the items I will give you." He said, his tone sharp and firm.
"We won't!" Mabel nodded her head quietly. I nodded before turning to my sister. Can I say my answer before you go and answer for the both of us? Grunkle Stan was about to head over to his office before getting stopped by Mabel. She asked if we could invite some people over. However, I didn't stay long enough to hear his answer. I was already walking upstairs and heading over to the shared room to get ready. Soon after, my sister did the same. Once we were done in separate rooms, we headed out with what Grunkle Stan gave us.
"These items won't even cost more than 10 dollars!" Mabel said.
"Don't dwell on that statement. It may cost more." I said, looking over at the list in my sister's hand.
"Yeah ... I know." She mumbled, going over the list.
In a moment, we arrived at the food store that is found inside of the mall. I swear they build everything here. Anyway, I'm glad Grunkle Stan doesn't forget the turkey but the things to make with it? Doesn't he use the last items from the last thanksgiving? I swear he's just a mess all over the place. Then again, I shouldn't be questioning it. He has done this before in the past. Once we got everything, we headed out. And of course, at the wrong time, I had to go to the bathroom. I told my sister to wait as I head over to the mall bathrooms. I entered the boy's bathroom and halted at the sound of the door closing. I froze at the sight, seeing a boy that looked to be covered by wounds. Small pools of blood were around him, oozing from his wounds. As soon as I blinked, he vanished. In an instant, the place gave me the creeps, trying to make me overthink again. It's different this time, Dipper. The bullies are not here. I breathe in and out, calming myself down. I went to do my business after that method. Once I was finished, I stared into the mirrors, looking at my blind eye. And ... the scar I inflicted onto my face. I frowned, regretting slightly at my mistake. The past is the past, nothing can change it now.
I turned and walked out of the bathroom after washing my hands and drying them off. I took a look around my surroundings and in the background, spotting a familiar bunch. However ... I wished to look away quickly as they caught sight of me staring at them. I glanced away and tried to hurry to my sister. Unfortunately, that didn't work as I faced some folks I wished I didn't spot them first. I gulped and held the fear back, trying to appear tough before they begin to speak.
"Long time no see, Mason!" Jason said, grinning with a mischievous look. Stage 1. Try to be buddies, buddies with your "Playtoy"- Oh god, that has a different meaning now that I heard it from that crazy white-haired kid. Okay, I am never calling myself that ever again.
"Yeah, we were wondering where you've been! Getting us suspended and disappearing without a trance." John said. Part of Stage 1, have your minions surround the victim. Yeah, I think "victim" is a better word choice than ... THAT.
"Such a mistake you've done, but it was worth it!" Jason said, smiling suspiciously. It did? Does that mean you learned your lesson and you're just pretending to act like this? I don't believe you at all. "Colona! Come meet my friend, Mason." The named person walked up to us. She seemed to be one of those girls who think looks would get her anywhere in life. She was a maple haired with crystal clear blue eyes. She wore a blue dress that reached down to her knees. "Mason, this is Colona."
"... Hello." I said, looking at Colona. "What are you trying to do again?" I asked, shifting my gaze back at Jason.
"I'm introducing you to a girl. What'd you think?" He said, narrowing his eyes. ... Oh god. Are you kidding me? You've been suspended for how long? And all you do and this? Trying to get me to change how I feel about the person I love? What about your behavior for god's sake? Why am I asking these questions, of course, you won't answer them. Maybe one of them ...
"What about her?" I asked. I know what he's going to say. I just ... I don't know why I'm playing along like it's a whole new experience. Then again, I do want to see what he comes up with for this question though.
"What do you see, dude?" He asked, the irritation showing in his face. I want to chuckle at his face, however, I won't bring myself to take joy in this.
"A stranger." I answered.
"NO. Ugh." He facepalmed. He soon took a breather and attempt to do whatever he's trying to do. "You know what, where did you get that scar?"
"Oh yes, I was wondering where the scar on his eye came from. It looks really cool on you." Colona said, smiling.
"Thanks ..." I said slowly, feeling uneasy at her sudden interest. Do people have just ... this sudden interest like ... they just fall in love with the person they first meet? Wow, I can't believe I'm spotting the signs from her.
"How did you get them?" She asked. Do I really want to share a personal experience with you? No. Mainly because these two will bully me like there are no ends of my thread.
"Did you get into a fight and earn them?" John asked.
"I bet he didn't win." Jason said. "It'll be a typical move for Mason."
"Really?" Colona widened her eyes. "I hope it wasn't too serious." I'm glad these idiots can't tell from a blind eye to a normal eye.
"While you guys are talking about if I earn this scar from a fight, I'll be heading my way out." I said, backing away and walking around them.
"Where are you going?" Jason asked, raising his brows.
"Why is that your concern? Shouldn't it be on your conversation?" I asked, raising a brow towards him.
"It's not my concern. Its-"
"And most certainly, it's not your business." I said, interrupting him as I shot a glare at him. I saw the rage boil up within him as it appeared on his face. I turned and walked away. They don't scare me anymore. They can't do anything anyway. I returned back with my sister. She asked what was taking my sweet time. I told her some folks decided to stop me from walking over to her. She smiles and said it could be recognition I'm gaining. I didn't think much of it as I brushed it off. We made our way out of the mall and headed home.
"Who knows! You may be getting popular around these parks~" Mabel snickered.
"No thanks, I think it's too much work." I said, growing disgusted.
"Being popular isn't too much work!" She said.
"You have to pay attention to anyone who will literally worship you as a God. I don't want to feel that or do it." I said, shivering.
"Aww, alright. I guess I won't push you. Although I will warn you!" She giggled. Suddenly someone bumps into my sister, which she ended up running into me. I heard the items fall onto the ground as I tried to pick them up. Unfortunately, my attention was back onto my sister, who got shoved harshly away from me. "Hey!" Mabel shouted, falling onto the ground. I grind my teeth, before snapping my eyes on the figure. What the fuck do you want, Jason?! He turned to me with rage-filled eyes. We're already skipping Stage 2?
Jason shoved me down to the ground and try to kick me from there. I was quick on his ends as I shield myself with my arms. I soon used my legs to hit the back of his shoes once I saw him stepping back. Once he fell over, I quickly pushed myself away from him and got up to my feet. I glared down at him with rage, however, I didn't allow myself to take action. He soon stood up, returning the glare. "Nice move for a f-t such as yourself." He snapped.
I blinked at him, confused at the word he threw at me. I have no idea what that means ... good luck trying to shove me down with it. "This was an unnecessary move." I said, wiping dust off of my clothes.
"No this was necessary!" He hissed, approaching me with bold steps. Nervousness begins to wave over me as the fear I tried to hold back leaked in. Soon my legs were backing up, away from him.
"There was no reason to push my sister!" I said, trying to reason with an angry man.
"YES, THERE WAS." He shouted in my face, making me freeze up. All of my movements halted as my mindset obeyed into this mess. "I DON'T CARE WHAT REASON YOU HAVE FOR THIS MATTER. BUT WHAT YOU PULLED EARLIER..." He quickly grabbed my shirt and threw me towards the ground, away from the road. "YOU HAVE NO REASON TO WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU." He finished his statement with more shouts. Those shouts decided to fill my head with fear, making me widened my eyes. Soon guilt rose up within me, making me also regret walking away from him. I watched him approach me again, bracing myself for any action he took against me.
He froze, his eyes widening as all of the anger was replaced by fear. He looked up at something however I didn't bother to pay attention. My mind was telling me this was all a trick and he was just pretending to get me to see if anyone would come and rescue me. I flinched from another shout, coming from behind me. Are they asking me to look? I couldn't hear them at all and I think it fueled it even more. My eyes glued onto the ground, my vision growing more blurry as time goes by. ... It's ... fine ... I can handle this ... I can pretend this is all fine and okay ... but ... What if it's not? What if it's another trick of his to make me feel this way? My mind went with that question as I disregard any of my senses once more. I was digging myself a hole again, escaping this reality I've experienced.
Something forced me onto my feet making me think I was getting pulled by someone. Is it one of them? Are they dragging me away? Why would they be dragging me away? Wouldn't they beat me up continuously until I bled? Should I run away from them? I'm not quite sure I should ... wouldn't I make them mad? No no, I should ... but... why can't I? I don't feel in control of my movements ... I don't even know where I'm going.
How did I get into this state? Am I just watching how my life plays out again? I don't want to spectate this. I don't want to! I want to be in control of my body again. Please. Why do I have to be stuck in this void?
Why?!
- Kahlil's POV -
I rubbed my hair, frustrated and irritated that a scene such as before happened again. I wanted to go out so much, however, I can't hurt anyone yet. Though, I might get someone injured soon if my anger overboils like it almost did this time. Oh how much I wanted to slit that motherf-cker's throat open so badly- Calm down. It's over. No need to go demonic now. I let out a sigh before looking at my surroundings. I stared at the weird statues on the shelves, raising a brow. Duckbear? Really? Why would people believe this shit? I looked over at the sound of footsteps, watching Mabel come out of the archway, behind the long cloth that reaches down to the floor. "Sorry for the long wait." She said.
"It's alright." I said.
"I manage to calm Dipper down a bit... although he wanted to be left alone." She frowned.
I sighed and crossed my arms. "Of course ..."
"Yeah... Thank you for back there again! I'm not quite sure where those guys came from, but it might be those people that Dipper ran into...`` She said.
"Those were the bullies before." I grumbled.
"Bullies?! They were the bullies?!" She said, raising her voice.
"Yep, and if I ever come across them again, things will not look good for them." I said.
"Well ... don't go overboard." She said, lowering her voice.
"... I didn't expect that answer ... but okay. I won't." I said, looking surprised.
"I mean ... they deserve it right? It's a little rare for me to wish harm on another person. But if someone dealt with my family poorly, that can slide on my part." She said, appearing annoyed.
"I'm glad we can come to terms." I said, smiling softly.
"Just ... don't go sicko mode." She said, nervousness rising within her.
"Sicko mode? Is that what you call it?" I asked, raising a brow.
"I don't know what else to call it! It seems to be the perfect fit since your badass when you shut up people." She said.
I snickered. "Why thank you. I appreciate that."
"You'll appreciate that one, but not the other times you've done good things?" She asked, raising her brows.
"I don't appreciate the things I do that often." I answered. "I don't feel worthy of it at all."
"Do you think you deserve the title "badass"?" She asked.
"Well ... if we're referring to what I've done before ... Yes, I think I do." I answered.
"Of course, you'll say that." She said, shaking her head.
"Is it a bad thing?" I asked, tilting my head slightly.
"It's not, Kahlil. It isn't." She said, smiling. "If I had anything nice to say about it, I would say, Keep up the good work!" She raised a thumbs up at me.
I chuckled and smiled. "With pleasure."
We both smiled at one another before those expressions disappear a few seconds later. Mabel looked away as worry spread across her face. Her gaze fell onto the archway, thoughts began to flutter into her mind, causing all sorts of theories. They soon disappear when she looked back at me quickly. "... I... I think there's something wrong ..." She said, trailing off with a shaky voice. I was about to open my mouth to ask but she darted through the archway swiftly without even waiting. I hesitated a bit before following after her.
I halted by Mabel's side when she stopped by the archway of the living room ... I think. She was staring at something, making me follow her gaze over to Dipper. I widened my eyes as worry pours over me. He was in a panicked state, making me believe his condition didn't even lessen. My legs moved on their own as I didn't see Mabel disappear a second later. I rushed over to him and sat next to him before pulling him into a hug. I felt his limbs tremble, his whispers repeating a word over and over. Worry grew within me, however, I soon calmed myself before focusing on what was in front of me. "Everything's okay, Dipper." I spoke softly, creating a soothing ambience around us. The whispering soon stops, giving me a hint that, what I was doing was working.
I soon shifted his body towards mines carefully, allowing me to pull him closer to me. I rubbed his back gently, making sure he realizes he is safe here and whatever is causing this is not going to get him. I noticed some changes in his state, such as clinging onto me as if he's experiencing a nightmare. I smiled softly before continuing my soothing voice, trying to lead him out of this state. I jerked my head over at the sound of someone's footsteps, spotting Mabel in the corner of my eyes. I saw her holding a glass of water. "Set it down on the end table." I said.
"Okay." She said. I looked back at Dipper, noticing his tremulous has calmed down. That's good. I spotted Mabel coming from behind me before reaching to the other side. She sat on the couch quietly and frowned. Soon an idea pops into her head. She reached over for the tv remote, turning the TV on. That ended up making Dipper flinch as I narrowed my eyes at her. What are you doing? She put on a tv show and turned towards us. "I'm sure he hasn't seen Duck-tective, but I think it's a perfect fit for him." She said quietly, smiling.
"Why is that?" I asked quietly.
"Well, it focuses on a duck that does detective hunting! It's a fun little show for kids of course ... but ... I think ... well, how my brother deals with detecting things on his own or with someone else, I think it fits him." She explained quietly.
" ... I ..." I trailed off, realizing Dipper has shifted to see the show. Although he still appeared to be on edge, a bit too shy to talk. I'll join in what Mabel is doing. "I can see that." I finished my sentence.
"Yeah! I hope it works." She said.
"We'll see if it does." I said quietly. We soon grew quiet and ended up watching the show. It was ridiculous but funny at the same time. No idea how these humans can understand a duck, but that's the weird side of this show.
It's been a while since we have last spoke. This show has dragged us into its world without even realizing what's happening around us. Why is it so interesting? Why didn't I watch this when I was little? And why did I missed it? I sighed, shaking my head, knowing that I won't get the answers like this. I flinched from the voice below me. "Dramatic quack, really?" Both me and Mabel slowly turned to Dipper, who was still awake and looks to be back to himself. I thought he fell asleep ... I really thought he did. " ... I thought we had to take you to bed once this marathon was over ... " Mabel said slowly.
"... Why would I be asleep?" Dipper asked, his voice clear of being shaky.
"Well ... you were so quiet." She answered.
"That doesn't mean I'm asleep." He said, irritation rising within him.
"Okay, smarty pants." She mumbled. "Anyway, you should be grateful that we rescue you from this state!"
" ... Rescued...? All I did was to try and convince him that everything was okay." I said.
"You did, Kahlil. And I'm glad for that." He said.
"Why rescue? Why are we going with this word?" I asked, ignoring the appreciation I got.
"Because we can?" The twins said.
"Okay, I got it." I grumbled. I heard Mabel giggled as Dipper joined in with her a second later. I swear, I could just let you fall on your back, however, I don't want to do that. Infact, I don't want to let you go.
"Guess we twins are better than you!" Mabel smiled.
"In some ways." Dipper said, letting out a small snicker.
"Yeah, yeah, celebrate later." I grumbled, annoyed at this.
"Okay! So are you feeling better, Dipper?" Mabel asked him.
"I am, I don't feel like I'm stuck in the void anymore." He answered.
"That's good!" She smiled before turning to the TV. "Oh, commercials on! I'm going to the bathroom." She announced before leaving the room.
"Great, all of the stupid commercials are coming on..." I heard Dipper say.
"I guess." I said, shrugging slightly. "Well, since you're feeling better-"
"Can ... you please don't let go of me?" He asked, making me widen my eyes at him.
"Why is that?" I asked.
" ... I ... don't want to leave your warmth." He said, looking at me with a shy expression.
"... Otherwise, you want to cuddle?" I asked. His face slowly became red, however, he didn't fight back those emotions.
"If you don't mind?" He asked quietly.
I smiled softly. "I don't mind at all, dear." I leaned back onto the couch before sensing him shift into a comfortable position. Soon he rested his head next to my neck, placing his hands on my shirt. I tightened my arms that were still around him a bit before placing my head on his. I might have to miss out on my family's Thanksgiving again ... not as it matters in the first place. I never stayed home when it's Thanksgiving with them. My father will always ruin it with his "thankfulness." I let out a small sigh. I wish things were different with them...
We sat in silence for the next few minutes, enjoying the moment. Though ... I do want something better than this. However, I cannot do that here. Maybe we can try again next time. "This is so much better than the times we kissed." I heard him whispered. I blinked my eyes before lifting my head up. "I ... I- ... Did I said- ... Did I say that out loud...?"
I stared at him with a shocked expression. "Oh... crap... I did." He said, turning red with embarrassment.
"You do?" I asked, raising a brow. My- ... I cannot process what I just heard.
"UHHH. Don't take it personally! I-I- ... I-I didn't mean it in an h-harmful way!" He said quickly as he looked panicked and guilty. "I do enjoy some of the kisses we do and sometimes I don't. I-I just meant-"
"Okay, I think I get it now." I said, cutting him off. That's new. Well, that seems like disappointing news.
"Please don't take it personally..." Dipper said, still looking guilty.
"I won't." I lied. "You don't need to feel guilty for what you enjoy doing. If you like to cuddle more than kissing, then I completely understand." I said, putting on a small smile. Although it hurts when I put it on. It looks like that lie wasn't that convincing since he still looks guilty. He soon looked away from me before staring down at the coffee table.
"But-"
"... How about this..." I cut him off before slowly pulling him closer since he moved away a bit. "Since it's Thanksgiving and probably ... several minutes until your dinner is ready, why don't we think of the things that we're thankful for?" I suggested. I wanted to get off of that topic, I don't want to talk about it anymore.
He slowly looked back at me, nodding quietly. Soon that guilt disappeared, although it still lingered within him. "When you mentioned "your dinner," are you not staying?" He asked.
"... I don't know if I'm allowed to." I said, shrugging.
"...I'm sure you are, I'm sure my grunkles won't mind it." He said, a little nervous.
Soon an older voice poked in, making Dipper flinch from it. "Am I disturbing something?" I looked over at it, staring at Dipper's great uncle.
"Uh... no! Not at all!" I heard Dipper said nervously. If I were to guess which older twin I'm staring at, it would be his smart great uncle. Since his mind is full of ideas and less much of a greedy man. Mr. Pines smiled softly before beginning to speak again. "Alright." He soon turned his gaze over to me. "Are you staying here for dinner?"
I blinked before thinking quietly. Soon I answered a few seconds later, "Yes, I am."
Mr. Pines nodded. "Dinner will be ready for another several minutes." He said before departing from the archway. I looked back at Dipper, as he was smiling like a little child. I grinned softly and snickered. "You're happy I'm here, aren't you?"
"Well ... yes. Why wouldn't I be?" He smiled.
"That's adorable." I snickered.
"I-... I am not adorable!" He said, dropping the smile to glare at me.
"What you did made you adorable looking." I said as I continued to snicker.
I watch him slowly turn red as he grumbled. He huffed before saying, "It was not! None of it was adorable!"
"Well, to me it was." I grinned.
"Of course you would say that." He grumbled before looking away. " ... why are you like this?"
"... I don't know... Do you not like it? I can always-"
"No!" He said, looking back at me. "You don't need to change." Oh, he guessed what I was about to say.
"... But you'll get-"
"I don't care. You don't need to change the way you are. It's not bothering ... me to the point of breaking or annoyance." He said, cutting me off.
"... Okay then." I said quietly. I watched him leaned back in, sitting his head next to my neck again. I stared down at him, watching his mind function usually. I hugged him closer before resting my head on his. I stared at the TV, watching the duck solve cases. I soon close my eyes, resting them.
"What are you thankful for?" Dipper asked in a whisper, making me open my eyes.
"... What am I thankful for...?" I mumbled the question, going into a think phrase. I'm not quite sure, now I think about it. What is there to be thankful for? I can't say anything about my life nor how it went a couple months ago. "I'm not ... sure."
"You're not sure?"
"Yea..." I mumbled quietly.
"What about- ... hmmm ... Are you thankful for having a place to stay at?" He asked.
"... Yes, I am ... but-" I paused, staring at one spot in the room. That's right ... I've realized that I haven't been kicked out onto the streets yet. I thought it'll happen any time but it didn't. My family doesn't want to lose me yet ... or is it another reason why they're keeping me there? I sat in silence, thinking about them. Is ... that's why- ... No, I don't ...- Do I believe it's true? I want to ask if it's true. "... But?" His voice snapped me out of my thoughts as I forgot to finish my statement.
"But nothing. Yes, I am thankful for having somewhere to stay." I said.
"Alright, my turn." He said. " I am thankful for having some folks looking out for me. Who knows where I would be today." I blinked before lifting up my head off of his. I looked down at him with wide eyes, soon redness appearing on my cheeks slightly. Somewhat ... I feel touched by this. Should I be? I don't think I should. I watched him glance up at me, meeting my gaze as he smiled. "Didn't expect a blush from you." He commented.
"Yeah ... my mistake." I said.
"Mistake? I don't think it was." He said, looking confused.
"... I think it was ..." I said quietly, guilt forming within me.
"Why?" He asked, concern appearing on his face. I sat in silence, not wanting to answer. "Does it circles back to you not appreciating yourself?" I slowly nodded, keeping my mouth shut.
He sighed and nodded. "Why don't you appreciate yourself? The things you do for people?"
"Those are just decisions. Anybody could have done that-"
"But you did them because someone threatened the one person your friends with or the one you love. You did them because it bothered you." He said, cutting me off. "Those decisions are not worthless. I think they're much valued."
"... That's what you and everyone thinks." I said, denying the fact.
"Do you think they're worth it? Do you think you could have stayed in the shadows and ignore the chances?" He asked quietly.
"... Some of those decisions are worth it ... because if I didn't take the chances I saw, I wouldn't live up to this point in my life. Sometimes I just want to ignore it, ignore all of the values in those decisions. And I still think I don't deserve none of this. But I don't know why I'll be thinking that when it's the best option I've done. Every action I took didn't seem selfish as it was for all of you guys. Maybe ... I do see some worth in most of them." I answered, stopping myself from going on a rant.
"Not enough to appreciate yourself?" He asked.
"Not really..." I mumbled quietly.
"Well, I'm sure I, Mabel, and any of our friends think you're a good person, regardless of the comments you make to kill somebody." He said, staring at me with an annoyed look.
I snickered. "Thank you, Dipper. I appreciate it."
"You're welcome." He smiled.
"Does that means I deserve this?" I asked tilting my head. I was referring to this relationship we have together.
"Yes. You do. You absolutely deserve my love." He said, nodding quickly. I soon felt warm inside. No, it does not mean that. It ... seems that I felt really touched by this whole conversation, making me feel better about myself a little. I smiled softly, feeling the warmth coming back on my cheeks. "I'm glad I do." I said quietly.
"That's the spirit." He chirped.
"It is?"
"Mhm! it's nice to see you accepting certain things that you deserve the most." He said.
"... I guess. It'll take a while to get used to." I said quietly.
He nodded before leaning back on the couch. He looked back at the TV before closing his eyes. I watched him for a few seconds before closing mines too. It feels so nice here as if I'm almost living in paradise. I should probably apologize for lying earlier... maybe a little later. Soon silence filled within a couple of seconds, only the sound of the TV filtered every now and then. Although, I wasn't ready to let silence finish its wakes. "I'm glad I've met you." I whispered quietly.
"... Me too."
End of Chapter 49