"A what?"

I scratch my neck. "Err sorry professor but neither of us is stupid enough to have an actual duel."

"Yeah," Hermione pipes in. "It's just a friendly match where I will absolutely wipe the floor with Boot."

"You mean I will wipe the floor with you. I've been playing UNO for years noob."

"Wanna bet you overgrown chicken!?"

"Let's go! Loser does double rounds!"

We shake hands. The teachers are confused. The muggleborns are hipped.

"May the best House win."