On the Safe Side
"I do feel rather silly about it now," she said, nursing the cup of tea that was almost empty.
"I don't," John replied, quickly, before softening his tone and leaning slightly forward in his armchair. The upholstery on it was wearing thin, it seemed almost steadily as the days went on. It would have been nice to get it recovered, if they couldn't quite stretch to buying a new one. "It's always better to be on the safe side. That is, it would have been more trouble to sit and fret about it, not that anything…"
"I know," she answered, stopping herself short of saying the phrase that had quickly become famous in their household. It was a good job that nobody at the house had heard them utter it, else they would have likely been thought of as quite peculiar indeed. "And you are right. Poor Doctor Ryder. He must have expected something more, and there I was, absolutely paranoid."
"That's his job. I daresay that he's used to it, dealing with issues that are small and routine. And thank God that they are."
Anna smiled. She did say a prayer every night, feeling as though it couldn't do any harm. Many people would think it ludicrous, no doubt, but then again, a lot of people hadn't been through everything they had.
It had been helpful to have her mind put at rest, and to know that what she had been experiencing was normal. She didn't think she would stop worrying completely until the time had come, but even looking ahead seemed too much to reckon with. One day at a time, that's what she needed to remind herself of.
"Hopefully there won't be a next time," she began, noticing a look in John's eyes, "but if there is anything else, then I really should go to see Doctor Clarkson. The poor man needs all the help he can at the moment, what with this business with the hospital."
"I don't think we ought to feel too sorry for him," John said, having shifted back into the chair fully again, "and I hope there isn't anything, either. More than anything. But if there is, Lady Mary has good cause to go back and forth to London, what with Mr Talbot being there."
She let out a laugh. "Isn't that taking advantage somewhat?"
He gave her an answering smile in reply. "You know that I'm not one to play upon our employers. But at the same time, I think that we've done enough favours for them over the years that we're entitled to a little something in return. It's not as though we'd be asking for gold and diamonds."
"Well, you might not," she replied, deciding to be a little bit cheeky.
"I'll see what I can do the next time that I go into Ripon."
She hadn't said anything to him about Lady Mary's intentions to pay the bill. Although it was very kind, and part of her had wanted to accept the offer, she knew how much it mattered to him.
"Maybe on our next half-day we can go there together. See what's on offer."
She saw him brighten at what she was implying, and in turn she felt herself become warmer.
"Are you sure?" he asked, all the same. "There's no rush."
"We have to make a start. It wouldn't do to leave everything until the last minute. And certainly not to expect any hand-me-downs."
They shared a smile, knowing that Lady Mary would almost certainly make offers.
"We've got the house opening to look forward to first."
She stifled her laughter as he lifted his gaze to the ceiling.
"Oh, what joy."
"Even if it's not for you, I hope you're not going to be a spoilsport about it."
"Certainly not," he said, "I'll put on my best presentable and interested face. There may be visitors turning up who are more formidable than the Dowager."
"I don't know about that," she chuckled, "but I suppose we must be prepared all the same."
She could see the cogs turning in his head, his hands steepled upon his chest.
"Speaking of which, do you think that it might be time that we start telling people?" He was quick to add, after a moment of quiet, "not that I want to do anything to hurry you before you feel comfortable. It is ultimately your decision. I don't mean that we tell everyone downstairs, just Mrs Hughes to begin with. Especially with the open house. I don't like to think that you'll be on your feet all day."
If she was being honest, she had been rather worried about that prospect too. Short of feigning illness on the day itself, there wasn't much else she could do. Anyway, hadn't she been the one to say that honesty was the best policy?
"It's a good idea," she said with a smile. As cautious as she was, she was also excited to let someone know without the news being surrounded by panic and sorrow, especially Mrs Hughes. "I'll speak to her tomorrow. And I'll let her know that she can tell Mr Carson, it wouldn't be fair for her to keep it from him. But no one else for now."
"No," John said, though she could see that he was finding it difficult to keep a lid on his happiness.
She began to laugh again, putting a hand on her stomach instinctively. "I'm just wondering what Mr Carson will think to a pregnant lady's maid."
"Oh, I suspect that he'll probably keel over," John replied, "either that or end up frozen to the spot. If it's that, then at least it'll make for an interesting exhibit for all of the visitors."