Envelope 49
Author's Note: One more chapter and then our little tale is finished. Time jump warning! The song I talk about with Liz is called A Case of You by Joni Mitchell—give it a listen. Please leave a review.
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Don was walking down a side street in Paris with Kit in search of a café Linnea told them about. They were meeting her and Agnes there, so they needed to find it.
"They don't have numbers," Kit said as he looked at his phone and then around at a few shops.
"No, I'm not seeing any either," Don said as he looked up and down the street to confirm that they had not somehow ended up on another street.
"What's so great about this place?" Kit asked, his patience at searching for somewhere to eat running thin as his 20 year old body growled to eat.
"They have the best crepes," Don said as he started to walk again, and Kit followed along.
"I like her pannkakor," Kit mumbled.
"Okay, one more block and if we don't find it, we'll just pick a place to eat, and text them the name," Don said.
"Deal," Kit said.
The two men walked a little farther and suddenly Don stopped and looked at this bar that had a woman sitting in it strumming a guitar and singing. He'd been in that bar, with Liz, many, many years ago. They were in Paris following up on a case and their hotel…
Don looked down the road to a small sign that had been the place they had stayed. It was a small Parisian B&B that had maybe 5 rooms in it with shared washrooms.
"Dad?" Kit asked.
"I've been here before," Don smiled at the memory of the two of them sitting at a table in that bar drinking cognac and laughing. "With your mom."
"Really?" Kit asked, surprised his parents had been on this side street in Paris before.
Over the years, his dad had told them stories about their mom, both professional and personal and, although he knew they occasionally went abroad with work, Kit couldn't remember Paris.
"See that faded yellow sign?" Don asked as he pointed down the street. "We stayed there."
"Wow," Kit smiled.
"Come on," Don gestured with his head toward the bar, and they got a table.
"Deux cognac, s'il vous plait," Don said with a smile.
"Which cognac?" The waitress with the blue hair asked as she handed him an extensive menu.
He looked at it and didn't really remember their being several choices last time.
"This one looks good," Don said as he pointed to one and she left.
"They had tables out farther," Don said as he gestured to the small patio they were seated at. "Like a good ten or more feet and we were right where it ended."
Kit looked to where the table would have been.
"They had these candles everywhere and we'd only come in for two nights, our flight was leaving in the morning and the source we came to find turned up dead," Don said. "Natural causes, so nothing that added to the case."
"Oh," Kit nodded.
"She pulled me into this bar and, I didn't want to come. I was tired and just wanted to collapse into a bed and sleep until the flight home—jet lag."
Kit nodded.
"But, there was a woman playing a guitar and singing," Don remembered Liz getting so excited and pulling on his arm. "Your mom was a sucker for Joni Mitchell."
Kit smiled, he didn't know that about her.
Just then the waitress brought them 2 cognacs and then left.
"Cheers," Don said as he lifted his glass and clinked it with his son.
The young man had never had cognac before, so it burned a little and he sputtered.
Don like the smooth liquid coating his throat. It took him back, viscerally, to that moment in time with Liz, drinking and talking. Her reaching across the table and playing with his fingers absently as she told him about her long history with Joni Mitchell music from her teen years to the present. Him thinking they should try and get away together, even for a weekend, to see if…
"What Joni Mitchell songs was she playing?" Kit asked, thinking he would look them up later.
Don focused in on his son, pulled from his reverie.
"I think it was that one 'you turn me on, I'm a radio, I'm a country station, I'm a little bit corny.'" Don sang softly. "I think it's called You Turn Me On. There were others, that yellow cab song, the 'I've looked at love from both sides now' one…there were a bunch."
"Were you and mom dating then?" Kit asked.
Don had never really explained the complicated nature of his relationship with Liz, and had always let the kids believe that they had been more traditional and dated. Really, it was private and not for them to learn about their parents. They had learned so many negative things about their mother from google searches that Don had always countered with explanations the articles didn't have. He didn't want them to think Liz was a bad person, because she wasn't. She just didn't always make the best decisions. He didn't need to add 'your mom and I screwed around a lot, broke each other's hearts, she married another man, cheated on him with me, and she and I came to terms with all this when her ghost visited me' to the story.
"Yeah, we were together then," Don smiled thinking of the fact that his room in the little Parisian B& B did not get used that night after they left the bar.
"Liz was singing along as we walked in, and all the Parisians thought we were so American, I'm sure," Don chuckled. "So, we sat on the patio with candles burning all around us, and it was a cooler night but not too bad and the candles made it feel warm. We drank cognac, listened to the singer belt out Joni Mitchell songs, we talked a lot, she told me that Joni Mitchell got her through some rough teen years when her heart was mistreated, and then we paid, and were leaving to go back to the B&B…"
Don smiled, remembering Liz and he walking about two steps with her holding his arm before she stopped dead in her tracks. She pulled him back to the patio outside of the restaurant where all the pedestrians were walking past. She just stood there with him and watched the woman sing. Don remembered looking at Liz and being overwhelmed by his love for her. This woman that came in and out of his personal life and that he loved so deeply, but just couldn't seem to get it right with.
"Dad?" Kit asked as Don went off into his head.
"Sorry, she played your mom's favorite song, and Liz was just looking at the singer with such joy," Don said with a smile. "So, I asked her to dance. We looked ridiculous, I'm sure as people passing by thought we were idiots…"
Kit smiled and looked out onto the cobblestone street and pictured his parents younger and dancing by themselves at night with the music, the candles, the pedestrians, and them in their own little moment together.
Remembering back, Don could almost feel Liz's body snuggled into him as they danced, her head resting against his chest, their hearts pounding into each other's bodies, the smell of her hair, the sound of the music and the bar patrons carrying on their French conversations in the bar, and the feel of her hand resting perfectly in his while they danced.
"And they we went back to the hotel after the song finished, and left Paris the next morning," Don said, realizing he hadn't thought about that trip in a long time.
"What song did you dance to with mom?" Kit asked.
Don cleared his throat, the story felt incredibly private all of a sudden, because that song was one he always identified with Liz. It was like their relationship, it's ups and downs, her imprint on his heart, the consuming passion, and the….everything, in one song. Liz's favorite song. The one they danced to one night in Paris. Don always wondered if she saw them in the words of the songs as well.
"A Case of You," Don answered honestly, as he swallowed. He hoped Kit didn't ask any more questions about the song.
Kit smiled and nodded, and Don knew he was going to add Joni Mitchell to his playlist and listen to all of her songs to try and figure out more of the mystery that was his mother. Don had tried over the years to paint a picture of Liz for the son that would never know her. He didn't make her a saint, that wasn't Liz, but he smoothed over many of the edges that no child needed to know about their parent. He wanted Kit, in the absence of ever knowing her, to see the best of her.
Don sighed, there would be more questions.
"Thanks for telling me that story dad," Kit said with a smile.
"I hope I've told you enough stories about your mom over the years," Don said honestly. "I hope…I hope you feel like you know her."
Kit nodded and swallowed hard. When Kit was younger, he always wanted to hear about Liz, but as he got older Don saw that it hurt Kit sometimes when they talked about her. That he had to let Kit lead any conversation about Liz and, if he showed interest, like now, Don talked about her. But, if Kit didn't show interest in hearing about his mom, Don didn't push it.
Even Agnes, she knew her mom and had a few years of memories, but as she started to google things about Liz, or kids at her school started to tell her things about her mother they had heard from their parents, it got more complicated. Agnes even was suspended for a day because of a fight she got into in grade 6 with a boy who told Agnes her mom was a Russian spy who was responsible for the deaths of thousands of Americans. Don had been livid about the fight, but when he found out Agnes had been baited with false accusations about Liz, asked Agnes if she hit the idiot hard and took her for a blizzard and told Agnes the real story about her mother and the Russians. A better, more accurate, story of how her mother risked everything, including her life and reputation, to help people.
"We better find that place or Linnea and Agnes will be pissed," Kit said as he stood from the table. Don went and paid the waitress and tipped the woman singing what sounded like the best of Oasis and they left in search of the café.
It was only another block, and Linnea and Agnes were already seated at a table waving at them as they approached.
"Yeah, we were never going to find this without them," Kit chuckled. "Do you even see a name on the place?"
"No," Don chuckled. "But you know Linnea, she thinks her convoluted directions are easy to follow."
"Always," Kit chuckled.
Don smiled at his son's love of his wife. Kit and Linnea had a unique relationship that involved a way of talking and doing things that Don hadn't quite figured out. They never argued, always seemed to know what the other needed, but could go for a long time without speaking, not out of anger, but just life and distance, and then talk daily for a week as if no time had passed. Kit loved her, as did Agnes, but his love for her was far more visceral, Kit wore his love for Linnea on his sleeve for everyone to see.
Don and Kit walked inside, and Don kissed both Agnes and Linnea before he sat down. Kit kissed Linnea on the cheek and purposefully bumped Agnes' chair to annoy her.
"Did you find one?" Don asked Agnes.
She and Linnea had gone shopping at a couple of boutique stores to get Agnes a dress for a huge awards ceremony that was coming up where she was one of the possible winners. It was a big moment in Agnes' career, and she wanted to look really good for it. She'd reached out to Linnea, like she did for a lot of things in her adult life, and it was decided that Paris was where her dress would be found.
"Dad, it's…gorgeous," Agnes smiled. "It's blue but kinda black and what's the neck Linnea?"
"Bateau," Linnea smiled at her.
"And the whole back is open," Agnes said.
"Wow," Don said, still not really sure what the dress looked like from either of their descriptions.
"So, is it blue or black?" Kit asked confused but how a dress could be both.
"It depends on the light," Agnes said, "And it doesn't have those straps that annoy the crap out of me because they keep falling down. I'm going to be so nervous, I want to be comfortable."
"They are tailoring it with a few minor adjustments and it will be ready tomorrow," Linnea said as she smiled at Agnes and placed her hand over Agnes'. "She looks gorgeous in it."
"She'll look gorgeous when she accepts her award," Don smiled at Agnes.
"Dad, I'm just in the running," Agnes said.
"And you are amazing," Don said with a smile. "If they don't see that, then they're idiots."
"I don't know, Fifa likes Paulette Hebert, and she…ouch!" Kit said as he bent down and grabbed his shin.
"Oh, I'm sorry, was that you?" Agnes said with a chuckle.
"You are both adults, can we not get through one meal without you causing the other bodily harm?" Don asked his kids.
"Sorry," Agnes said.
Kit mumbled an apology next to him.
Agnes had been playing professional women's soccer in England for four years now, having not finished her degree to join a professional team. It had been a bone of contention with Don that she at least get her degree before she moved on, but she finally convinced him that she needed to go for it. She could go back to finish the last year of her Veterinary Sciences degree after she explored the world of professional women's soccer. She needed to do this to see if she could.
The pay, as she had told him, sucked. So, they used some of her nest egg money to buy a flat in a trendy neighborhood in Derby, a car, and some nice furniture for her flat. She got a stipend each month from her account to pay for extra expenses, flights to visit them, and some personal travel. Don had to say, he was impressed with what both she and Kit had worked out with the accountants. Even though they had access to millions, they were using their heads and not living large and burning through the money. Linnea said she thought it was because they were raised that way, never extravagant, always comfortable, always cared for, a father who worked, and never like the family had millions it was sitting on.
"Will you be able to get it before your flight back to Birmingham?" Don asked Agnes. "Or will we need to ship it?"
"No, they said by noon," Agnes said.
The waitress came and took their order. Linnea convinced everyone they needed to get crepes, so it was just different types of crepes that were ordered. Agnes needed to leave tomorrow to return to Birmingham for her practice and game schedule but Kit was staying with them for another two weeks until Linnea finished her posting in Paris and the current Ambassador returned.
"Dad's been here before," Kit said excitedly. "With mom."
"You have?" Linnea and Agnes asked a once then then laughed at each other.
"Just down the street at a bar, our hotel was just another block that way," Don pointed.
"Wow, that's so cool dad," Agnes smiled at her father.
"Yeah, I hadn't thought about that trip in a long time," Don smiled. "It was nice to remember it."
Linnea and Agnes nodded.
"Are you two staying in with us on your last night here or…?" Don asked his children.
Agnes and Kit exchanged a look.
"What?" Don asked.
"There's a club…" Agnes said.
"They want to have fun Don," Linnea said as she patted Kit's leg. "Don't make them feel guilty."
"I wasn't…" Don said as he held his hands up in surrender.
"Oh yeah, right," Agnes and Kit said at the same time.
Everyone at the table laughed.
After they were done eating, the kids went back to their place to sleep before they headed out closer to midnight to dance and drink. And Don and Linnea walked home through the streets of Paris.
They were only there for a few months and they were going to enjoy it. The Ambassador for Sweden's wife had died, and he had taken a few months off. Linnea had been asked to fill in because of her vast experience and when given the chance to live in Paris for a few months they had both jumped at the chance. Agnes was close by in England and, as her schedule allowed, she visited often and Don got to many of her games. Kit was at MIT studying theoretical physics in the US, so he'd only come over once while school was in session and now this trip at the end of the summer and the end of Linnea's role in France.
"Was it nice to remember Liz?" Linnea asked him as they walked arm in arm.
"It was," Don said with a smile. "She and I on that trip, in retrospect, it was kinda romantic."
Linnea smiled. "Kinda?"
"Well, I left out that we had spent much of the flight to Paris arguing, had to return to the states with empty hands and no more information to move the case forward, and that she was technically still with Tom. But when I think about that one night, that one bar, and that one moment of us dancing…it was pretty romantic."
Linnea nodded. "Everything always looks better looking back. We forget, or should forget, all of the things that cloud the moment. The moment is what matters most."
Don stopped and turned and looked at her. Not once had Linnea been jealous of his relationship with Liz, of her place as the mother of his children, or uncomfortable when he or the kids talked about her. She was sure enough in them, in what they had, to know that there was no competition. That Don could fondly remember a past lover, the mother of his children, a woman who he once deeply loved, and that there was nothing wrong with that. That it was good, in fact, that he hadn't buried her from his heart.
"This moment looks pretty nice right now," he said with a devilish grin.
She swatted at him and he leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips before he took her arm back and looped it through his and they started to walk again.
"You know, I kinda like this 'fill in Ambassador' gig," Don said with a smirk. "We get to enjoy a place but not have to commit for too long."
Linnea nodded, she had to agree. Two cycles as an Ambassador in DC and Singapore had made her not want to be locked down to one place for too long. Don's cancer had made her question, for the first time in her career, the choices she made and whether a career was more important than being with those you loved. His retirement meant she didn't have to make that choice, and for the last couple of years in Singapore, he and Kit spent a lot of time with her. Kit with his tutors and online courses, and Don going with her to events as her husband. The two men in her life also spent about half their time in the USA going to Agnes' games in Texas and cheering from the sidelines. It was two years of growth for them as a new, different, family.
When she finished in Singapore, and with the two of them free of any work obligations, they travelled, bringing along or flying in his kids on some adventures and alone for others. They went to the Outback, went on a science vessel trough the Northwest passage, vacationed in the Seychelles, took part in a photographic safari, and spent a glorious week alone during a snowstorm in a remote cabin in the Shetlands. Between the house in DC, the cottage on a lake in Maryland, and her farm in Sweden, she and Don rotated around them sometimes with the kids, sometimes by themselves. They tended to stay in the USA when Kit was on summer break, so he lived with them, and went to Sweden in the cooler weather so they could see more of Agnes in her off season. This year they'd spent the summer in Paris and, fortunately, Kit had a position on a research project with one of his professors, so he was busy while they were in France but able to come for the last bit of the summer.
"Shall I offer myself to anything that comes up?" Linnea asked, prepared to continue to be a fill-in Ambassador when needed.
"Well, it's not like I want to live in a war-zone, but someplace nice? Why not," Do smirked.
"Okay, I will let them know," Linnea said with a smile. "Only 2 more weeks and then we are back in Sweden."
"I will miss Paris," Don said. "But I'll be happy to be home again."
Linnea smiled and snuggled into his frame.
"Home is anywhere you are," she said with a smile.
Don kissed the top of her head and they walked back to their apartment where two twenty-somethings were napping to go out and party that night.
To be continued….