DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I ADORE YOUR REVIEWS! BTW, I will happily take advice and suggestions from my readers while continuing the story.

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

An eight-year-old Tenzo, then known as "Kinoe," panted and felt the cold iciness of chakra exhaustion moving through his coils. He'd finally done it, though: he'd created a wooden Foo dog that en masse could supposedly withhold a tailed beast. Not that he ever wanted to be in a situation like that, mind you. It didn't matter what he wanted or even feared, however, and he had learned well to never speak of what could be his private desires or even display emotions. Having emotions conflicted with being a proper shinobi, and an emotional shinobi would certainly be killed early in his career. All this knowledge was thanks to the man standing beside him and supervising his efforts: his master, Danzo-sama.

"In addition to improving your reserves, it is time to begin working on additional elemental training. The scrolls regarding this technique state that a flame must be lit atop each column in order to restrain a fully-transformed tailed beast. Begin." Danzo handed Kinoe a leaf.

Kinoe looked at the leaf and tried not to gulp. Sure, he understood that his leader wanted him to burn the leaf, but how was he supposed to do that? His elemental affinities were water and earth, for goodness' sake! After considering what he should do over and over again along with many failed attempts, he finally became enraged - oops - and strived to not only burn the leaf but also the entire surrounding forestry. DEATH TO LEAVES, he resolved in fury before passing out cold.

Waking up with his face still planted in the dirt, he turned his head to see the annoyed expression of his master. Even with the man's bandages covering so much of his face, he had seen that look on Danzo-sama's face many, many times before. What was surprising was that the older shinobi was sitting in a nearly cross-legged position next to him on the ground, and even offered him water. Kinoe wondered if he was perhaps dreaming.

"Drink," Danzo demanded. He looked at his young subordinate and tried to suppress a sigh but was unsuccessful. "You know that only an Uzumaki can hold the Kyuubi. There are things you don't know, however, many things," he said darkly, his expression becoming more sinister before it blanked again. "I mentioned that I was acquainted with Mito-sama, the first jinchuuriki. I also knew other Uzumaki who perished in the war that wiped them out, all aside from our current jinchuuriki. The Foundation has yet to find other survivors."

For the first time, Kinoe felt sorry for Kushina-sama. He quickly shut that thought or feeling away from his conscious mind.

"Uzumakis have an extreme, I would say an even... maniacal devotion to family and what he or she considers theirs: an irrational possessiveness. One important thing that I can only describe to you is the Uzumaki Killing Intent. Remember that the Uzumaki have vast reserves… Let us hope that the jinchuuriki does not lose another person she considers hers, Kinoe."

Kinoe wondered why Danzo-sama's lips curved up into a haunting smile while his leader considered his own words for quite some time. The man rarely smiled and it never meant anything good, as a smile seemed to reflect in other people he had seen in the village on his rare trips there. He took another deep drink of water and refused to shiver.

The man he had been studying took a deep and slow inhalation of breath. "An Uzumaki's killing intent is something to be feared. The worst I have experienced came from our jinchuuriki: their own perhaps mixing with the demonic energy of the bijuu." Lord Danzo's words made Kinoe flinch a bit, and it was odd that his master didn't notice this tendency of his for once. Danzo rubbed his chin in thought. "There is little I can do to prepare you for it, although… Yes. Yes, indeed."

Seeing Danzo-sama smile like that yet again, Kinoe recoiled. The cursed seal on his tongue was activated, but only for a moment. It hurt like crazy, though. Kinoe choked on his water but got his wits about him quickly. "May I ask when you experienced this, Danzo-sama?" The man stared back at him for several seconds, and Kinoe once again bemoaned his inquisitive nature. Finally, the elder gave a brief nod but stared him down as he began to speak. "The Warhawk's" visible eye and expression were absolutely ghoulish and it took a great deal of effort to keep him rooted to the ground. He had long ago learned to grow roots out of his butt in order to not run away from his shuddersome comrades and superiors, fortunately,

"When Lord First perished, followed by Mito-sama's death," Danzo took in a deep breath that seemed to almost hitch. "I was outside of the village when news reached the jinchuuriki of her homeland's destruction." The man stared blankly in front of him as if he was reliving his memories.

The brief flash of memory seemed to wilt as Tenzo remembered exactly the last time he felt something like this. It was immediately before the nine-tails was released, and Tenzo was training underground well outside the village. Being so close to this level of what he hoped was "only Killing Intent" made him want to puke, something his students were doing. Tazuna had keeled over from it. He turned to look up at its source inside the bridge builder's house and paled.

Tenzo barely managed to activate his jutsu to catch a far-flung Sakura: the hair is what gave the girl-turned-streaking-through-the-air comet away. He wasn't sure whether his student would survive this, so he sunshinned to where she landed, tangled up in his jutsu's branches. What are..? There were seals on the back of her shoulders! Where the hell are her clothes?! He decided to leave the young woman facing the ground and nearly covered in the effects of his Mokuton.

Tenzo jumped as the ground buckled behind him. Having landed silently, Uzumaki's chakra had still somehow warped the earth beneath her.

Minutes before -

Naruto wasn't quite sure what had happened and she fully ignored Kurama's riotous laughter. Getting her wits about her, she bent over her husband. "Oh, Kakashi!" Gently tilting his head to the side, she saw that he had burns on his ear and neck, too. She immediately began pumping Kurama's purified chakra into him.

"Not so fast, Brat! Calm down and focus!" Naruto flinched back before she was too close to making the Ningen and his coils explode, fortunately. God knows I'd never hear the end of that. "You can only give him so much, Naruto." Kurama rolled his eyes at his container's sob. "Just shut up and let me do it," he said in resignation. Damnable monkeys.

It only took a matter of seconds before she felt Kurama's warm chakra retract. "Why isn't he waking up? He should be healed right?"

"Kakashi? Kash?! Kurama, is he okay? What - what's that smell?" Straddled over her husband, she pushed her face into his neck and inhaled deeply. She doubted anyone else would be able to smell whatever it was, well - outside of Kakashi or maybe an Inuzuka. "What the hell is that?!" She continued smelling his face and breath - there was something oddly sweet and…"

"Poppies, and something else. Something I haven't encountered before."

Even as she jumped out the window to go peel Sakura's skin off if she had to in order to get answers, Naruto's head was swimming with potential antidotes. Living with the Naras for so many years meant that she now had a lot of medical knowledge. Still, she didn't know how long it had been since Kakashi had been poisoned, nor how much he had been given of who knows what - aside from the poppy-based thing.

She trusted Kurama on that.

Tenzo was being stupid and yelling at her, but at least he'd tied the bitch up. "Sakura," Naruto said as calmly as she could. She turned the girl over and frowned before punching her in the jaw. "You're not Sakura, are ya? SHUT THE FUCK UP," she yelled at the whimpering female. Tenzo was now freaking out beside her, but Naruto only looked up at him in annoyance. The fake Sakura had at least stopped screaming about her being a demon but was still making too much noise for her taste. Her nose was also bigger than Sakura's, and Naruto hadn't hit her nose. No, her nose had changed shape dramatically after being punched in the jaw. "Since your mouth's open anyway…" Naruto pulled out her tongue and had to suppress her rage at seeing a curse seal there.

"Shit," Tenzo said, sounding overwhelmed.

"Sensei, I need you to bind her up. She can't move for what I'm going to do." She looked back at the pink-haired silently crying woman. "If she does, her brain might explode." Naruto smiled cruelly at the imposter. "I'd rather wait to do that until I find out what she did to my K - Kakashi-taicho."

Tenzo was just about to scold his subordinate for immediately being so damn threatening to a kunoichi who couldn't even willingly speak of her crimes before Naruto's last words were reflected in his aching head. "What do you mean? Kakashi senpai was…"

"Poisoned by this bitch, I'd guess," Naruto interrupted, still staring at the faker. She felt Tenzo's chakra jump before he surrounded the pinkette with nearly too many branches. The noise she made told her that Tenzo was also using his jutsu to near squeeze the life out of her.

Sai had recovered from the pressure that he had experienced earlier, and had made his way to the blonde.

Naruto sighed in resignation, trying to keep herself under control. "Sai, remember when…"

"You wish me to further restrain her? May I sit on her face?"

"Knock yourself out."

Naruto was internally relieved that Sai only positioned himself snugly over the woman's head, much as she had when she inactivated his seal. He really needs to be more careful in how he words things. Had the real Sakura been here, she would've knocked Sai on his ass for saying something perverted. Her eyes stung as she wondered just where the hell their Sakura was, and whether or not she was okay. Taking a deep breath - she had to get this just right - she grabbed hold of the woman's rather large nose with one hand to steady both of them, then pinched her tongue with her other hand.

Finally, it was done.

"Who the fuck are you and do you have an antidote?" The woman was drooling madly and shaking her head now that Sai was off of her, but was only making pained noises. "OH." Naruto used a tiny smidge of Kurama's chakra to heal the traitor's jaw.

Still shaking her head and drooling, the woman replied despite herself. "Tensh-shi." Her eyes opened wide with shock, making her flinch back at seeing the jinchuuriki's angered but passive face leaning over her. "Monshtew!" Again she flinched at her own words: a perfect kunoichi or not, she valued her life.

"Hai, hai, although I'd say that you're more of a monster than I'll ever be," Naruto replied easily. "Antidote?"

The woman moaned again as Tenzo's jutsu tightened around her even more. She finally cried out. "Insh - Dansho-shama won' wet ewe shuckseed!" Naruto slapped her in the face. "Bag!" The woman then let out a scream of rage and Naruto ran with her teammates into Tazuna's house.

"She must be monitored, sensei, Naruto, Emo," Sai said, looking at each one of them. "'Angels' are highly trained. They are also rumored to be Danzo-sama's comfort women."

Tenzo ignored Naruto's sound of disgust. "I left a wood clone with her. What's in the bag?"

"Too much!" Naruto replied in anguish. "What the fuck was this bitch planning?!" In the woman's bag were all kinds of unmarked pill bottles and salves along with various medical supplies, pliers in various widths, and small weapons along with a scroll. Tenzo took out the scroll but cursed when it was found to only hold clothing and personal effects. He chased Naruto up the stairs, ordering Sai and Sasuke to stay with Tazuna.

Sasuke put his fists on his hips. I don't think I've felt anything like that since the night cousin Shisui died. "Tazuna-san, got any more of that?"

"Here, boy," Tazuna offered Sasuke the bottle of sake he had on his lap. He opened up his whiskey and took a swig, as Sasuke took a long drink from the sake bottle before offering it to Sai, who declined. Sai simply sat down and pulled out his smutty novel, but he didn't turn a page the entire time they were downstairs.

"What are you doing, Uzumaki?" Tenzo asked the girl whose expression was pinched up as if she'd tasted something bad.

"I'm tasting these pills. I'll know if an antidote's in here." It wasn't really her that would know what all of the pills were, most likely. The last one she sampled was some kind of potent laxative, and Naruto was just grateful that Kurama agreed and didn't ask her to try more of it as a prank.

"You'll make yourself sick or worse," Tenzo cried out as he tried to grab fake-Sakura's bag away from his student.

"Oh, come on, Tenzo! I'm sure you know I'm immune to most poisons and such," she began before muttering in a lower voice, "or I should be now after stupid Hak - that ice boy's - anesthetic or whatever the hell it was." She screwed the top off of another bottle, ignoring Tenzo's sputtering about how she couldn't be entirely sure of anything like that. "Look, sensei: I'm the only one who can go about this, and we're saving Kakashi! Tell ya what, can ya look through these pills and shit to see if you recognize any of them?"

Tenzo frowned at her in distaste, but soon began looking through the medications and Naruto nearly squealed as she found one thing - not that it would help. "Morphine! Fuck, it - it's REALLY potent, too. Pure or more like pure-ish, ya know?"

"You've been on morphine, Uzumaki?"

"Doesn't much work on me, but yes." Naruto took an open bottle from Tenzo's pile of unknown pills and capsules - so far he only recognized an antihistamine he'd been on once - and nibbled at then licked another pill. "Urgh…" she waited for Kurama's assessment. "Some kind of heart thing? A blood pressure pill?" She took a moment to monitor Kakashi's vitals, thanking Kurama sincerely as he aided in assessing her husband. "His blood pressure's really low: that one's the last thing we need for him."

Tenzo was impressed... Also pissed off that she was subjecting herself to this, but nonetheless impressed. And thankful, too. Suddenly it occurred to him: oh no! "Uzumaki, you will not tell senpai about this process." No, he wasn't much up for that Thousand Years of Death jutsu if Kakashi-senpai ever found out that he allowed one of their subordinates to go sampling large numbers of random drugs. No matter what their relationship is. "Oh, this one's a steroid! I don't know the milligrams, but I'm almost certain that's what it is!"

"Hold on to it," Naruto directed as she tapped the desk beside her. The taste in her mouth from the most recent capsule's powder she tried was familiar. Finally, her eyes lit up with glee. She popped four of the capsules into her mouth and bit down. Bitter! Opening Kakashi's mouth, she force-fed him and could have cried when his tongue twisted against hers just a little. She finally ended the kiss, er- medicating. Nursing… whatever. "Pervert," she whispered while trying to wrest away her blush.

Tenzo was repulsed a bit, really. It was one thing to imagine that the two MIGHT have some kind of relationship outside of the captain-subordinate role, but… That was just intimate! Bleh! Naruto's reddening cheeks and ear tips just made it worse!

Ten hours. Ten hours and she'd only gotten as far as Kakashi's perv senses kicking in, but otherwise, he was still unconscious. Oh sure! He was now sloppily kissing her back, letting out occasional moans and single girly giggles now and then; he had once even kneaded her breast a bit while she gave him the same medication. And there were only two capsules left!

Glad to be alone in the room with him for once, she pressed her head against Kakashi's chest. "Wake up, you troublesome man."

Almost like magic, or perhaps more akin to a summoning, help arrived at last... Just as Kakashi pushed her head down toward his groin. "Troublesome. Waaaaay too troublesome." Shikaku turned right around and pushed his teammates back.

"Dad, wait! I need help!"

"Can I come in now? Is it safe?" Naruto's father figure asked.

The nearly purple-with-embarrassment young woman winced and tried to ignore the man's teammate's snickering.

"Yes! It was seriously an involuntary reaction!"

"Whatever you say, Naruto," Shikaku replied while pulling out a scroll to place atop the desk. A poof of smoke appeared and Naruto felt immense relief at seeing his ancient-looking medical bag. It was huge and full of all kinds of great healing and diagnostic stuff that she and Shikamaru had once tried to add a glitter bomb to when they were young and mad at him for grounding them. They were unsuccessful and had been shocked and burned a bit for their efforts. Shikaku was really careful about that bag. "What's the status, Blondie?"

"Morphine overdose along with something else I cant figure out. I've been feeding him something akin to Naloxone only much less potent and in capsule form." She handed him the capsules. "He has responded positively but is still unconscious." Blood pressure is still low but has slightly improved, but I can't tell him how I know that. Thanks again, Kurama.

"Thought he had burns," Shikaku remarked, putting on his non-latex gloves with a snap at each wrist. He pulled out a blood collection kit and punctured Kakashi inside his elbow.

"You're not going to do it on his hand?" Naruto asked, glad that the Nara didn't see her reaction to the question about Kakashi's burns that she'd completely healed. How am I going to explain that?!

"No, not with him anyway. Kakashi's used to ninken bites on his hands - or nips, at least - and would probably react even if he's unconscious. I know some nurses that have learned that the hard way… You need to sleep Naru-chan. You look like hell."

"Wouldn't doubt it," she replied, leaning on the wall as she allowed her eyes to close for a moment. Although she wanted to stay awake to keep monitoring her husband, Naruto knew that she could count on Shikaku to get to the bottom of things He always did. Plus, she was exhausted and the stress had really done a number on her nerves. "Wake me if you need me or if anything happens to him?" she beseeched the man with her drowsy eyes. He gave her a swift nod. "'Mnot leavin', though."

"I'll move her downstairs," Chouza said, picking up the blonde who was now out cold.

"Better yet!" Inoichi chirped as he pulled out a camera. "Just a couple quick pics - come on!"

"Troublesome," Shikaku shook his head at his teammate's antics. "You're right, though: we'll never get this chance again since his mask is off." All the men waited to see if the unconscious Hatake would react violently to merely stating what the Nara had, but nothing happened. Shikaku pulled the silver-haired Jonin over toward him before going downstairs to start figuring out what the kid had been poisoned with. Chouza placed Naruto next to Kakashi on the futon and chuckled at how she wrapped her arm around the Hatake brat in her sleep.

Tenzo walked in to see the Yamanaka head taking a picture of his sleeping or unconscious cuddling teammates and did exactly what Shikaku had done before: turned right around, pretended he saw nothing, and then went back to the kitchen. Chouza followed right behind him.

Tazuna was bewildered upon waking up hours later. His house was flipping FILLED with ninja!

His daughter, Tsunami, was offering to feed each one of them, but Tazuna couldn't imagine where she'd get enough food for all these scary people. Fortunately, it seemed that all the ones with porcelain masks and heavy armor were refusing. He walked into the kitchen to meet her and was met with what looked like a small laboratory on his kitchen and dining room tables, which had been pulled together into the adjoining room.

"This is going to end up costing me a fortune, isn't it?" he asked. The incredibly large hairy man with the spirals tattooed on his cheeks turned to give him a sunny grin, before happily nodding his head that indeed it would.