To the Adult Me,
How are you doing?
Even though I'm writing a letter like this, I have no idea what the future me is like.
Are you having fun every day? Are you getting along with everyone? Did any of our dreams come true? Were you able to become a bit more hero-like?
It would be nice if you experienced lots of things and became an adult much, much better than I am right now.
-From the Child Me
Epilogue (Side A):
The letter had been written earlier that day. Black ink on cheap copy paper, unevenly folded and hastily stuffed into an envelope by a child's hand.
With no trace of tampering from science or magic, there was nothing inherently special about it. It was just someone's forgotten trash. Though…
A certain Level 5 held the note firm. Despite the pain in her right arm, she kept looking for meaning. Ulterior motives. Ill intentions. Anything to grasp between the lines.
If she could find that piece of evidence…
If she could understand the writer even just a little bit more…
Well…
What would she do then?
"…"
[ SFX: Click. ]
Upon hearing the door open, the girl quickly hid the letter away.
…
Long past midnight…
A researcher visited a hospital patient.
"I had the feeling you'd still be awake, Misaka-san."
Nunotaba Shinobu crossed her arms and frowned. The girl in front of her was sitting straight up in bed, with no effort made to make herself comfortable. Her sheets remained unfolded, with the only visible crease from where she currently sat.
"…aha. Yeah…"
Misaka Mikoto half smiled at her, intensifying the researcher's current displeased mood. Nunotaba Shinobu narrowed her fatigued eyes.
"With everything's that's happened today, don't you feel the least bit tired? Or should I mark that up as a difference in constitution?"
"I'm used to long nights. If I really felt up to it, I could go a few days without sleep, you know?"
The Level 5 waved her hand nonchalantly.
"Please refrain from doing so. It's unhealthy."
"Oh stop that. You're not my mom."
The researcher took a moment in to process being called a maternal figure. Afterwards, she deliberately raised a finger to the air and poked the girl's bandaged forearm.
"Tcchh!"
Misaka Mikoto hopped back. She hadn't anticipated such meanness.
"It would do you well to get some rest. A sleep deprived body will slow your healing and risk infection."
"…"
…
Turning away, she cradled the wound close to her chest.
Underneath the tightly wound bindings was a thin cut that punctured to the other side.
It was proof of her messing up at a pivotal moment. Though she somehow pulled through, no one could say it was a clean ending.
At its core, it was a hollow victory. Leaving her…
Unsatisfied. Unfulfilled.
But had she tried to do it all again, what would she had done differently?
…
"Misaka-san?"
…
"Were you able to say everything you wanted?"
…
"I can only assume that you weren't able to."
…
Recalling prior events…
The Level 5 bit her lip.
Misaka Mikoto spoke low.
"Of course not.
"Completely unloading was what started this mess. I said too many unnecessary things and…
"Targeting my frustrations on him must have been the catalyst…"
She took more responsibility than she needed to. But she wasn't entirely wrong about how the situation unfolded.
"I…
"I really… should have left him alone, shouldn't have I…
"That would have been the right thing to do…
"That would have made the most sense…"
Unconsciously, she began to grip herself.
"But…"
"Even though I should hate him outright…
"Even though I owe him nothing…
"I…"
…
The lonely figure appeared in her mind. A normal scene of a boy reading manga by the magazine racks of a convenience store.
…
She lost her words. She was unable to finish her thought. And her inability to say anything left her frustrated at no one but herself.
"I honestly don't understand it myself…
"I was so sure I was doing something right, but I can't remember my reasoning… if there was any anyway…"
Peering into an unending fog of introspection, Misaka Mikoto felt an uneasiness that lifted her off the ground. She slowly started to drift, aimlessly, dangerously.
"What was I trying to do back then…
"What did I hope to gain in the end…
"I should know myself best, but… All I'm getting is that I'm an annoying girl who doesn't know what she wants…
"Why am I… struggling so hard with this…"
…
…
…
Looking inward netted no answers for the girl. And the researcher could tell how deeply it was affecting her.
Nunotaba Shinobu could not have possibly known the entire situation surrounding her distress, but she could speak on her own observations.
Looked up at the ceiling, Nunotaba Shinobu succinctly expressed her opinion. For better or worse, her perspective could shine a little light.
"Sounds to me like, up until recently, your emotional baggage has prevented you from creating certain meaningful connections with certain people. But when presented with a scenario where aforementioned feelings should be considered null and void, your kind nature seeps through, which is at odds with the resentment you feel justified to have. With these two conflicting thoughts pulling at you from different ends, you're finding yourself making inexplicable decisions that make no sense in hindsight. And decisions that will always leave you upset at yourself."
…
…
…
Misaka Mikoto blinked twice. She shook her head in a jolt.
"…ah?"
The little light may had been too bright.
"…I'm sorry. What did you say? You said that kinda fast and most of it went over my head."
"…"
The researcher met eyes with the emotionally distraught girl. She briefly considered dropping the topic altogether as it may had been too early for her. Nonetheless, pinching the skin between her eyes…
" [ Thought experiment. ]
"Let's say…"
Nunotaba Shinobu carefully elaborated an idea.
"Let's say that…
"If… You were to have an actual heart-to-heart with someone who you previously regarded as an enemy…
"And lay everything bare on the table…
"And, this is assuming this other party would be reciprocative, of course…"
Misaka Mikoto followed along the scenario with slight confusion.
"Would you be afraid that…
"By the end of that conversation…
"After settling all your differences...
"You would end up liking him?"
…
…
…
…
Misaka Mikoto stared at the researcher blankly.
For a brief moment, her eyes wandered, as if she had forgotten where she was.
Eventually…
Her skin turned pale. And her lips curled to a shaky smile.
"A… A-Aha! That's a real- Thaaat's a funny one! Caught me off guard there! I didn't expect this from you!"
The girl slapped her leg and juttered a laugh.
"Wow! Wowee! Almost forgot this fic was a gag comedy! Whew!"
She slapped her leg again.
"I have no words! I have… absolutely no words! This kind of humor is quite the… You gotta think about it! It's a thinker! But it's hitting me pretty, pretty hard! Ehe~! Hee hee hee~! AHAHAHA!"
Misaka Mikoto began to have a painful giggling fit next to the unamused researcher.
But… once those emotions subsided, she spoke out of breath.
"That really cheered me up…"
"Not my intention but glad to see your morale back to where it once was."
Nunotaba Shinobu spoke quickly in monotone.
"In any case, you should be asleep. If you've spent all your time up until now sorting out your feelings, putting your mind in worse conditions won't help in the slightest. Maybe you could find the solution to your problems in your dreams."
It seemed like she gave up tackling this particularly prickly subject matter.
…
"…dreams, huh?"
The Level 5 stared down while the researcher turned herself around to leave.
"You can take it easy tomorrow. I've informed all necessary parties of your condition, so you can relax for as long as you need to. For the time being, the experiment will be put on hold until your full recovery."
Looking over her shoulder, Nunotaba Shinobu gave her parting words.
"While I can't say I've agreed with all your actions…
"You did your best. That's nothing to feel ashamed about.
"Goodnight, Misaka-san."
"…"
…
…
Putting aside what Misaka Mikoto's intentions were back then…
What were Misaka Mikoto's intentions now?
That… she would need to consider carefully…
…
Tapping her fingers…
The girl spoke up before the researcher exited.
"Can you do me a favor?"
…
"About Accelerator's situation and Project Super Seven…"
…
"I'd like to know everything about it. All of it."
Nunotaba Shinobu held still.
"…There are limits to the things I can say about those topics, Misaka-san. I'd be in a lot of trouble if I gave that kind of information freely."
Misaka Mikoto took an alternate approach.
"Let me put it a different way…
"If you don't tell me about it…
"I'll make sure you regret it."
"…"
Misaka Mikoto's infectious smile could move the coldest of hearts, even if a thinly veiled threat was attached.
And perhaps, due to how late it was, Nunotaba Shinobu gave in all too easily.
"…well, I suppose there's no helping it then. Once you've rested up, I'll tell you everything."
She smiled back.
"Until then, take care of yourself."
[ SFX: Click. ]
…
…
…
In the absence of the researcher…
Misaka Mikoto had one more thing to take care of before her night ended.
Pulling out the letter from before…
Of a painful note that held a naïve child's unfulfilled expectations…
It was by chance that it ended up in her lap.
But, nonetheless, she had the ultimate choice of deciding how to deal with it.
…
Delicately holding its fringes…
She began to rip it up.
Epilogue (Side B):
In an undisclosed apartment space used to observe seven Level 5s muck around, a white-haired boy sat in front of a computer screen.
Dim light reflected across his face as he sifted through a video.
Though… whether he was paying any attention remained unclear…
"Whatcha' doin' there?"
Accelerator maintained his position. He may as well had been a still image.
"Catching up on lost time."
Hamazura Shiage nodded as he slowly spun around in an office chair behind him.
"That's a nice work ethic you've got there."
"…"
The Level 0 continued to rotate in place.
"…"
And he almost reached his seventh full circle when Accelerator spoke up.
"Is there something you want to say to me?"
The delinquent quickly stopped and answered.
"Oh yeah. Yeah."
The boy nodded and shook his head.
"Actually no. Isn't there something you want to say though?"
He raised his arm toward various areas of the room.
"Like, I don't know, why is almost everything destroyed or why there's a giant hole in the wall?"
It was as he described. A huge chunk of the apartment was missing, as if a giant man had taken a bite out of the area. Miraculously, the only section of the front wall left was the entrance door.
Though the Number 1 paid no mind to it.
"Now that you mention it, why is that?"
Hamazura Shiage held back from making too much of an irritated retort.
"You know exactly why. And I am too hopped up on caffeine to leave without answers."
He stood up and anxiously emoted.
"Like, what the hell is up with this time travel thing? Who's behind it? Is this something that's gonna keep happening? Like, should I be expecting more of these massive orbs appearing out of nowhere and dropping kids on me?"
"…"
The white-haired boy raised a fist to his mouth.
"Those are good questions."
"Please don't play ignorant."
Hamazura Shiage sighed.
"I've been through a lot tonight. And you know what? I feel like I'm entitled to some praise."
The delinquent rolled his chair to his front and sat in it backwards like a rebel.
"Just so you know, I'm the one who saved your life.
"Senpai? Totally gave up on you. Left you for dead. But me? No. Not a second. I really went out of my way to handle the situation."
He started counting his fingers.
"I got you babysitter. (But actually, that didn't work out cause you ran away.) I got the time machine from Researcher T. (But didn't really learn anything new except that it was some schematic a computer spat out way back when.) And last but not least, I got you back to the present. (With a smidge help from the Number 3.)"
"Doesn't sound like you did much.
"And I'm fairly confident that you were only serving your own interests anyway."
He was.
"That's not true at all."
"…"
Hamazura Shiage frowned.
"Look, what I'm trying to say is that… You can't expect to stay silent when others have been trying so hard for you. Shit really went down while you weren't around, so… a little bit of comfort can go a long way."
…
"…"
Accelerator paused his video.
He turned himself around to see Hamazura Shiage's oafish mug.
The Number 1 let out a breath.
"I doubt this time travel business will be a repeat occurrence. The person behind it…"
He corrected himself.
"The entity behind it seems to have fulfilled its purpose."
"Entity?"
"Tree Diagram. And henceforth, any questions you have can most likely be answered by the phrase 'Tree Diagram was behind it'."
"That's seems too convenient."
The Level 0 questioned further.
"On our side, a past version of you interacted with a lot of people. I'm betting that when you went to the past you also had some interactions too. Aren't there problems with that? Like, it's a paradox, right?"
…
"…not so much."
Accelerator closed his eyes and made an explanation for why the world hadn't ended.
"There are sizable gaps in my memory that I don't remember due to frequent experimentation. Whatever happened to my child self these past few hours may easily have been erased, forgotten, or disregarded as a dream.
"And as for my own interactions in the past…"
Misaka Mikoto came to mind. Accelerator let the people he most loathed hold her hand and guide her.
"The same situation may apply as well. Another manufactured gap…"
…
The white-haired boy lingered on the thought, though not long enough for the delinquent to notice.
"…With my own minimal interference, I'll become nothing but a distant memory. Maybe less if Tree Diagram decided to completely alter records."
…
Hamazura Shiage blinked.
"Is that true?
"Did you really not try anything back there?
"Seems like a waste of an opportunity. If it were me, I don't think I'd be able to hold myself back."
The boy was upfront with his simplemindedness. And at that, Accelerator scoffed.
"The past is the past. Nothing can change what's already happened. It wouldn't change the fact that I've already lived it.
"And if I were to even try… That would be…
"Running away from my own reality…"
…
…
The delinquent furrowed his brow.
"Run away…? Don't know what you had in mind, but I was thinking of betting on horse races or something."
"…"
The Number 1 became more aware that he was speaking to an idiot.
"Hey! This is like the longest conversation we've ever had!"
"…"
The Number 1 became deeply troubled. Turning himself back to his computer screen…
"Okay. End of conversation. There's nothing left to divulge in."
"Huh? But what about-"
"No point in digging further. The loop has already closed, and everything ended cleanly with a pretty bow on top."
"Bu-"
"No buts. I don't ever want to talk about this again."
"…"
Hamazura Shiage was annoyed by the sudden wall the Number 1 built. Though if he didn't want to talk, he had no choice but to accept it.
"Fine, fine. I heard what I wanted to hear anyway."
He rotated his chair back to his own broken monitor.
…
Someone Else's Epilogue:
Under the bright sun, young two children sat on a park bench.
[ "You can say things ended cleanly. But I doubt anything has really ended. Endings only exist in fiction." ]
They weren't waiting for a third to appear. No such promise had been made between them.
[ "In the real world, there's no such thing as an ending. That's why there's always hope for good things to come." ]
Rather, these two hardly knew each other. And were only loosely connected by recent events.
[ "So surely, you must have overlooked something." ]
Huddled together, they whispered to one another.
[ Accelerator stopped watching his video. ]
[ "Oh shit." ]
"Wouldn't you call this a…"
The boy started the question.
"It's most definitely…"
The girl answered.
Accel-kun and Miko-chan turned their gaze from the Christmas photo to each other.
"A different timeline…"
Futures are always uncertain.
But for both of these pairs, perhaps good things did await.
nth-Child Arc: Side B end.
Next Chapter (sequentially): Gutsy Girl Part I