This is your friendly reminder that I am not a trained medical professional and therefore, this entire chapter is fictional.
For the next few days, life for Emma seemed to settle into a somewhat predictable routine. She was getting better at staying awake for longer periods of time, which meant that most of her days were spent with the man she loved.
Every other day she would get a visit from Luke. Killian would take a seat at the back of the room to watch as he put Emma through her paces, encouraging her to work her arm as hard as she possibly could, before he called it a day and left Killian to soothe his tired and achy fiancée. Those days were the hardest. Emma had always thought of herself as a pretty active person before she'd been shot, but now, simple arm exercises often left her sobbing into her boyfriend's shoulder the moment her physical therapist had left the room.
"It's okay, Emma," Killian soothed, on one particular occasion. "You're doing really well. At this rate, Luke thinks you'll be able to recover almost all of the range of motion you had before."
"It's not that," she cried, twisting her face further into his neck to hide her shame. "It's… I just… I feel like an absolute failure, Killian. Every time he's in this room I feel like I'm letting you all down because I just can't do it."
"You are not a failure and you are certainly not letting anyone down right now," Killian assured her, as he pulled back and brought his hands up to cradle her face. At that precise moment, he needed her to see the truth in his words more than he needed to give her the comfort she so desperately wanted. "As long as you're trying, that's all anyone can ask for. We just want what's best for you, Emma, and we don't care if that's not what you had before. As long as you're happy and you're healthy, that's all we really need."
Emma nodded her head as best she could and Killian gathered her back into his arms to pull her into his chest.
"It's gonna be okay, sweetheart," he soothed, as he gently teased his fingers through her hair. "The exercises will get easier the more you practice them, and if you physically can't do something because of the new limitations placed upon your body - then that's fine. Nobody is expecting miracles here, love. We just want to make sure we're giving you all the help and encouragement you need to get to a place where you're happy with what you can do. Your happiness is all that matters to us right now, so please, don't push yourself too far just because you think we expect you to."
Emma nodded her head against his chest but didn't say anything else. Being wrapped up in Killian's arms was one of her favorite ways to spend the day, and she was going to take all of the comfort she could get from him before one of the nurses came to kick him out for the night.
Emma's predictable routine came crashing down around her less than a week later. She'd been waiting for Luke to make his appearance that afternoon to continue working on her arm, but instead of her slightly sadistic therapist, a young, perky blonde had strolled into the room, flicking through what looked like her entire medical history.
"Can I help you?" Emma asked, when it seemed like the newcomer had no intentions of introducing herself.
"Oh! Yes. Sorry," she said, suddenly looking up and slamming the folder shut. "I was just reading through your chart. It's a compelling read, for all of the wrong reasons of course." The perky blonde tossed the file down onto the table beside Emma's bed and then stretched out her hand. "Hi, I'm Rosie and I'll be your new physical therapist."
"What happened to Luke?" Emma worried, as she extended her good arm to shake the other woman's hand.
"Oh, don't worry, he'll be back to keep working on your arm but we're gonna drop his sessions to once a week now so that we can focus on the next big task ahead of you – getting out of this bed."
Emma's face paled at her words but Rosie didn't seem to notice. She was too busy moving furniture around the room.
"Can I uh… can I call my boyfriend?" Emma asked, because Killian was on a food run and she wasn't entirely sure that she was ready to face whatever was about to happen without his hand to hold.
"Of course," Rosie said, looking up briefly to offer her a big smile. "But you won't need him here today. We're just gonna go over the treatment plan I've agreed on with your doctors and then try some of the basics to see what we're working with. I'm not planning to push any of your limits this morning."
Emma nodded her head in understanding but still reached for her new cell phone to send Killian a quick message. While Rosie had been a little less intimidating with her explanation of the day's plans, Emma knew that Killian would want to know what was going. She had a feeling that he wouldn't take too well to seeing a stranger in the middle of her room when he came back, given everything she'd just been through.
"Okay," Rosie declared, taking a seat on the edge of the bed as Emma set her phone back down onto the bedside cabinet. "I've spoken with your surgeons and they agree that it would be best to try and get you up and moving around before the frame comes off your hips. Your pelvis was pretty badly damaged during the attack and they're worried the frame could remain in place longer than we first expected, given your most recent x-rays. The longer we wait to move you around, the harder it's going to be. If we add to that the stress and pain that will come from the surgery to remove the frame, we could be looking at months until you're moving freely again, and that's not what any of us wants. I assume you're in agreement there too."
Emma nodded her head because while she was definitely scared of what this process would entail, she didn't want to be confined to a bed or a wheelchair indefinitely. She already missed the feel of the sun on her face and the way the wind would whip at her hair as she ran around Storybrooke every morning. If this process would speed up her healing, she was more than ready to give it a go.
"Now, I know that the idea of getting up and moving around with metal rods sticking out of your body can be daunting," Rosie began sympathetically, "But I promise you it is possible. In fact, other patients I've worked with have said that walking with the frame is actually relatively pain-free. Getting your muscles moving again after the damage they've suffered will be the hardest part, so I can't promise that you won't feel any pain during our first few sessions together. However, once you start working those muscles, you'll find that it gets much, much easier to continue using them."
"Like my arm," Emma said, giving it a small lift to demonstrate just how much easier it was to move after all of her sessions with Luke than it had been when her sling had first come off.
"Exactly like that," Rosie promised, offering her another big smile. "As with all physical therapy, my goal is to push you to your limits and never any further. We want you to get back as much range of movement as you're physically capable of. I don't want to push you past that limit because we know that will only set back your recovery, and nobody here wants that. However, if I don't push you hard enough, then you'll never be able to reach your full potential. Does that make sense?"
"Yes," Emma agreed.
"Excellent news," Rosie declared, clapping her hands together as she pushed herself back to her feet. "Now, I wanna start with the basics if that's okay with you? Do you mind if I pull back the blankets so I can see what I'm working with?"
"Um… sure."
Emma didn't really like looking down at herself without the blankets covering the frame over her hips. She didn't like seeing that reminder of just how broken her body was. But she assumed that Rosie had seen plenty of pelvic breaks before, given what she'd said about working with other patients, so logically, Emma knew she had nothing to be self-conscious about.
Rosie fiddled with the sheets and Emma's gown for a moment until she could get a clear view of her patient's legs, and then she hummed thoughtfully.
"Okay, Emma, we're starting small. Can you wiggle your toes for me?"
"Uh… sure."
Emma craned her head to look down her body and watched as she wiggled the toes at the end of each foot.
"Excellent," Rosie declared, picking up her chart to scribble down a note inside it. "Next one - can you rotate your ankles for me?"
It took Emma a moment to find a way to make the movement work, given how she was positioned on the bed, but as she looked down her legs she saw her feet draw small circular patterns in the air.
"Wonderful. You're already so far ahead of some of the patients I've worked with," Rosie praised. "Now, we're gonna get a little more difficult because the rest of these exercises are coming from your hips. If anything hurts or it gets too difficult, just say the word and we'll pause. Ready?"
"Ready," Emma reluctantly agreed.
"We're gonna focus on one leg at a time so starting with your right, can you move that leg across the bed for me at all? It doesn't matter how much or how little, I just want to see if that movement is possible for you right now."
Emma took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before she channeled all of her focus into moving her right leg. The limb twitched against the bed and then shifted a few centimeters across the mattress before a sharp pain shot through her hip.
"Shit," she cursed, reaching down to still her leg in an attempt to stop the pain. Of course, the frame around her hips got in her way and Emma ended up catching the fragile skin of her inner arm on the piece of metal sticking out of her pelvis, which only served to hurt her more.
"It's okay," Rosie said suddenly, dropping the chart back to the table to rush around the bed and over to Emma's side. "It's okay. Relax back against the mattress for me and I'll get you cleaned up," she promised, reaching for the call button beside the bed.
It didn't take long for a nurse to make her way into the room. Emma allowed herself to zone out for a moment as Rosie had a whispered conversation with someone who sounded vaguely familiar.
"You're doing so well, Emma," came a sudden voice from her other side, as someone picked up her arm to check over the shallow wound that the frame had left behind. "Do you need to take a break before we try again?"
Emma nodded her head against the pillow. Her eyes were heavy and trying to force them to open was proving difficult.
"Are you in any pain?" the voice asked, and Emma nodded her head slowly.
"Okay. I'm gonna leave you in the wonderfully capable hands of this nurse and then I'll be back to try again a little later."
"Okay," Emma mumbled, although the words sounded much louder in her head than they did when they finally left her mouth.
The first thing Emma saw when she opened her eyes again was Killian sitting in the seat beside her bed, reading one of the day's newspapers.
"Wha' time is it?" she asked.
His attention immediately flew away from the page and over to her face. "Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" he asked, folding up the paper and placing it onto the table beside the bed, before he reached out to brush the hair back from her face.
"Tired."
"The nurse said you would be. She gave you a boost of pain meds after what happened this morning. She also said she could hear you cursing from the hallway," he teased.
"Sorry," Emma mumbled, as the memory of her therapy session slowly began returning to her.
"Don't be. If anyonehere has the right to curse, Emma, it's you. How's your pain level now, sweetheart?"
Emma tried pushing aside the haziness in her brain to take stock of how her body felt. There was a dull ache across the right side of her hip, but it wasn't as bad as the shock that had ripped through her earlier in the day.
"It's okay. I uh… where's Rosie?"
"The nurse said she'd be back in a couple of hours," Killian assured her, as he ran his fingers gently through her hair. "She wanted to give you a chance to recover before you tried anything else. The nurse also said something about there being no point pushing you any further when you're already in pain, which, incidentally, is a point I am very much in agreement with."
He leaned in to brush his lips softly over her own, and Emma hummed in contentment at the contact.
"I wanna try again," she said, after he'd pulled back. "I wanna do this. I want to get out of this bed."
"I know you do, love. And you will. But rest for now. If you end up hurting yourself because you're pushing too hard, it's only going to take you longer to get back on your feet again."
"Okay," she agreed, as she allowed her eyes to flutter shut once more.
After a moment of silence, the rustle of paper told Emma that her boyfriend had returned to the news, and that was confirmed when Killian began reading the articles aloud. Emma wasn't sure how long they spent together that way; her resting with her eyes closed while Killian read the day's headlines to his fiancée, but with every word he spoke, she found the tension in her body slowly start to drain away as the fog at the edges of her brain began to clear.
When Killian had finally finished reading about the week's sporting news, Emma opened her eyes just in time to see him fold the paper back up and set it down on the table.
"Do you want something to eat now, love?" he asked, turning his full attention to her as he brought his hand up to stroke gently down the side of her face.
"Please," she agreed, nodding her head against his palm.
Killian pulled away briefly to fiddle with something behind him and then pushed himself up to his feet. With a little bit of careful tugging, gentle maneuvering, and a quick rearranging of the blankets, he was able to sit Emma up in the bed so that she was in a more comfortable position for eating. He rolled the table over so that it was in touching distance and then placed a white cardboard box in front of her.
"One of the nurses tipped me off about this place," he said, looking rather pleased with himself. "I wasn't sure how long you'd sleep for, so I've already eaten, but I think you're going to enjoy this."
Emma chuckled as she pulled open the box and peered inside. There was an array of finger sandwiches on the left, and on the right were miniature scones and cakes, a small pot of clotted cream, and a tub of strawberry jelly.
"Wow. Who have you been flirting with to find out about this?" she asked.
"I will have you know the only person I flirt with in this hospital is the beautiful young blonde in room thirty-seven," he told her, leaning in to brush a soft kiss to her lips. Before he could pull back, Killian paused to add, "And that one really intimidating nurse that works the late shift every couple of weeks, because then she lets me stay with you past visiting hours."
Emma giggled at his admission before fishing one of the sandwiches from the box to begin nibbling at the end of it. "Oh… this is good," she said after a moment, as the sweet taste of the honey roasted ham and the sharpness of the cheddar cheese mixed perfectly in her mouth.
"Wait until you get to the scones," Killian told her. He offered her a cheeky wink and then sank back down into his seat.
Emma finished the first sandwich in relative silence before she turned to her boyfriend and asked, "Do you want some?" while holding out the next. "I feel kind of rude eating when you're not."
"I'm fine, sweetheart. If you can't eat it all we can always ask the nurse if she'll pop it into the fridge for you."
"Okay," Emma agreed, and then bit into her second sandwich. After swallowing down her bite she asked, a little timidly, "Will you read to me again? I feel self-conscious eating while you're just sitting there, watching me."
"You have nothing to worry about," Killian assured her, but he still reached out to grab the book they were already halfway through, from its place on top of the small cupboard beside Emma's bed. "Okay, where were we?" he murmured, as he scanned down the page to remind himself of where they had left off the night before. It didn't take him long to pick up the story once again.
While Killian read, Emma ate the rest of her sandwich and then another before she turned her attention to the tiny cakes on the other side of the box. The chocolate cupcake was calling to her the most, but she knew she needed to try the scones before she attacked anything else. Using the small plastic knife tucked inside the box, she sliced a scone in half and then applied a little of the strawberry jelly to one side and a generous dollop of clotted cream to the other. Just as she was squishing the two halves back together, a knock sounded on the door.
"Is this a bad time?" Rosie asked, poking her head into the room.
Emma cast a longing look at her miniature scone and then dropped it back into the box before she said, "No, it's fine."
Beside her, Killian gave a small chuckle as he stood up to move the box to a safe location and then rolled the table away from the bed.
"Hi. You must be the boyfriend," Rosie said, extending a hand in his direction.
"Fiancé," he corrected, shooting Emma a small, chastising look. She still hadn't managed to wrap her head around that one, and he hoped it was more to do with the haziness her medication left behind, rather than her doubts about the future of their relationship.
"Killian Jones," he said, reaching out to shake Rosie's hand.
"Oh, that accent!" she stage-whispered, shooting a cheeky wink at Emma. "I'm Rosie, your fiancée's new physical therapist," she explained, "And I'll be working to get Emma up and out of this bed."
"I can't wait," Killian told her, before he turned his attention back down to Emma. "I haven't had a chance to take her dancing yet, so I think that will be the first thing on our agenda when we get out of here."
Emma snorted out a laugh as she pushed herself into a more upright position. "I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself there."
"I'm just looking forward to our future together," Killian shot back, bending down to press a kiss to her forehead before he took a step back from the bed.
Emma wanted to protest and call him back, but she knew that the therapists tended to prefer working with plenty of space. Having a loved one close by often resulted in them interfering in the process – something Killian had already found out the hard way.
"How are you feeling now?" Rosie asked, as she threw back the sheets on the bed to uncover Emma's legs once more.
Although Killian had seen her naked many times before, Emma still felt oddly exposed in front of him with her legs bared to the room.
"Uh… I'm okay," she said, trying to keep her mind away from what her boyfriend would think of the scarring he could likely already see forming around her hips, and on her therapist instead. "I think I just wasn't quite prepared for the pain."
"That's to be expected," Rosie sympathized, taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside Emma's legs. "You can tell yourself to expect the pain from morning 'til night, but until it comes, we're never truly ready for it. Your body's been through a lot of trauma recently, Emma, and we're now putting it through more with the aim of helping it to recover. It'll take a while for those damaged bones and muscles to realize that what's happening is actually good for them, and until then, it's likely to trigger small amounts of pain whenever we work together."
Emma nodded her head in understanding but that didn't make her feel any better about what she knew was coming.
"Okay, we're gonna start with the small exercises again and then move on to your left leg," Rosie said, as she gave her hands a clap and sprang back up to her feet.
"What about the right one?" Emma asked, looking down her body at the limb that had already caused so much drama.
"We don't want to pay too much attention to one particular muscle grouping over another," Rosie explained. "That won't help with your recovery. We already know that the right side of your body is a little tender, so I don't want to keep pushing it to work when you're in pain. This afternoon, we'll just look at the left leg and then call it a day."
"So… you're saying you came all the way back down here just to see if I can shuffle my left leg over the bed?"
Rosie chuckled a little as she reached for Emma's chart. "I did indeed, but if it makes you feel any better, I've traveled much further for much less before."
That admission did make Emma feel a little better – but only a little.
"Okay. From the top. Can you wiggle your toes for me, Emma?"
Emma did as she was asked and saw the toes on each of her feet give a little wave. At the back of the room, Killian watched on with a proud smile on his face.
"Perfect. That doesn't seem to give you any trouble at all so we'll move up to the ankle roll."
Ready for it this time, Emma rotated each of her ankles so that her feet made little circles in the air.
"Excellent work, Emma. Now for the hard part - and remember to take your time with it. Can you move your left leg across the mattress for me, please?"
Bracing herself against the metal bars on the bed, Emma carefully wiggled her lower leg so that it shifted a couple of inches across the mattress.
Instead of watching her patient's progress, Rosie's focus was glued to Emma's face which was screwed up against the pain she could feel shooting through her pelvis.
"It's okay, Emma, you don't need to hold anything in for us and you certainly don't need to push yourself any further than you can."
Emma nodded her head firmly as she allowed her leg to fall still against the bed. She didn't say anything else, but even from his position at the back of the room, Killian could see fresh tears glistening on her cheeks.
Everything was still and silent for a moment before the sound of light footfalls met her ears, and then a comforting arm was wrapped around her shoulders. Emma was once again cloaked in a familiar scent.
"You're doing so well, sweetheart," Killian whispered, brushing a soft kiss to the top of her head. "I'm so proud of you."
"Your fiancé's right," Rosie chimed in. "You're doing really well, Emma. Moving your leg across the bed like that means we have to work the muscles around your hips, and I think it's safe to say that part of your body saw the most trauma during your attack. Being able to move your legs like that, even if it does cause you some pain, means that we will get you back on your feet. It won't be today and it probably won't be this month, but we will make it happen, Emma, because now we know that it can. The doctors here can examine scans and x-rays all day long but until we see that movement from you, we don't know for sure how a patient is going to recover. Now that I know more, I can go ahead and start building a comprehensive therapy schedule for you."
Emma nodded her head again but said nothing else. All she wanted at that moment was to be left alone with Killian. Her pelvis felt like it had been shattered all over again, and it was taking every ounce of concentration she had to keep her mind focused on the conversations happening around her, and not on the pain that was coloring everything else in a sharp red.
"We'll leave it there today, Emma, but I'll be back to see you again in three days, okay?"
Emma forced her eyes open and was surprised by just how blurry her vision was.
Rosie reached out to offer her good arm a comforting squeeze before she said, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Killian. Take good care of yourselves," and then she showed herself out of the room.
Killian waited until the door had closed behind her before he stood up to change positions.
The moment Emma felt his weight leave the bed, she spoke up. "Can you… can you cover my legs," she pleaded, tilting her head back against the pillows.
Killian hesitated for a moment, confused by her odd request, and then reached down to do just that. When she was fully covered once more, he took a seat beside her left hip so that he could see her more clearly.
"Open your eyes for me, sweetheart," he asked, gently reaching out to take her hand between his own.
Emma needed a few minutes just to gather her composure before she opened her eyes and turned her head to meet his concerned gaze.
"Do you need some more pain meds?" he asked, reaching out to brush away the hair that had clung to the damp patches on her cheeks.
"No," she finally croaked out. As uncomfortable as she was feeling right then, Emma didn't want to waste the entire day sleeping off medication. Not when she could spend it with him.
"Do you want to finish your lunch?" he asked instead.
She shook her head.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Emma screwed her eyes shut again to avoid staring into his own. She could see the pain that was swimming at the edges of his gaze. Pain for the way that she was suffering, and pain caused by the way that she was shutting him out again. As selfish as it was, Emma knew she couldn't handle seeing his pain on top of experiencing her own.
"What if I can't ever dance with you?" she finally asked. "What if, like my arm, my legs work again but they don't work right? What if I can't ever move them without being in pain?"
"If that's what happens then we'll deal with it as best we can," Killian assured her. "I can't dance anyway so it's not like we'll be missing out on anything."
Emma peeled one eye open to see the forced smile her boyfriend was giving her.
"It'll be fine, love," he promised, leaning forward to hold her gaze. "If Rosie had just told us you would never walk again, it wouldn't bother me. I mean – obviously, I'd be disappointed for you and I would hate that this bastard had taken something else from you - but it wouldn't change anything between us, Emma. I'd love you just as much as I always have, probably even more given that I keep finding new reasons to love you every day." He paused for a moment and Emma finally cracked open the other eye to stare deep into the depths of his own, where the absolute and irrefutable truth of his words rested. "Whatever happens, Emma, whatever may or may not be possible in our future, all that matters to me is that it's our future; that we face it together. That's all I care about."
Emma reached up to cover his hand with her own and then turned her head to press a kiss to his wrist. She wasn't entirely sure what she'd done to deserve having someone as wonderful as Killian in her life, but he was certainly proving that she was stuck with him now – not that she'd have it any other way.
Killian leaned in to brush a soft whisper of a kiss over her lips before he pulled back and reached for the box on top of the cupboard once more. "Here, finish that scone," he told her, as he wheeled the table back over to the bed and set the box down upon it. "I saw the way you were looking at it earlier. I was a little jealous, to be honest."
Emma snorted out a small laugh as she flipped open the lid and finally reached for the mini scone she'd prepared what felt like hours earlier. "You have nothing to be jealous about," she promised him. "This is only gonna last me like thirty seconds - at most. You've just pledged your entire life to me. That will keep me happier for much longer."
"Good. Don't you forget that," Killian teased, as he sank back into his seat and picked up the book he'd been reading before they'd been interrupted. "Let's get back to this tiny little fictional town in America, shall we? Now, was the vampire about to kiss the girl or bite her?"
"Both?" Emma asked, raising her hand to cover her mouth as she attempted to speak around the clotted cream and pastry she was currently chewing on.
"What is it with women wanting to be eaten by vampires?" Killian mused, flicking through the pages, looking for the place where he'd stopped.
Emma swallowed down the last of her scone, taking a moment to appreciate the buttery taste of the pastry, the sharpness of the jelly, and the sweetness of the cream, before she asked, "Are you honestly telling me that you wouldn't want to be bitten by a sexy vampire?"
Killian ponded the question for a second and then said, "Only if it that vampire were you, love."
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