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Words: 3,020
"You suck at this," Charlie squints across the room at the dartboard and shakes her head. "Go get you, sister, she'll be better competition ."
Scoffing, Carl nudges Charlie with his shoulder but he smiles. It's nice, to have someone not tiptoe around him. Yeah, he lost his eye, he's not dying. He'll deal. Charlie is the only one treating him normal, even joking about it. It's refreshing.
Once he was allowed to be up and about, he spends as much time with her as he can. Two weeks, Denise told her. Two weeks of resting, to give herself time to heal.
Sighing, Carl falls back onto the bed when Charlie takes her shot. She hadn't been wrong, he's not doing well, she's beating him easily. And she's oddly good at darts.
"Headache?" She asks without looking away from her target.
"Hm," Carl hums. "Just thinking."
"Yeah? About what?"
"Have you seen the wall?" Carl still doesn't sit up but he watches Charlie take the green darts, his color, and throw them at the board.
"Nope, bed rest, remember?" Carl knows if Charlie really wanted to see outside, the parts that her window doesn't show, she could. She's stubborn like that.
"They've almost got it back up again."
"Really?" Charlie asks in a less than interested voice. Carl thinks she's just humoring him at this point.
"Took a while to clear the tower," Carl continues even though he's sure Charlie isn't interested. He picks absentmindedly at a loose strand on his jeans. "The bodies are gone too."
"Hm," Charlie hums and Carl finally looks up at her. She's no longer throwing darts. Only one remains in her hands. She's spinning it while her left index finger pushes against the sharp end. Carl sits up and takes it from her.
Blinking rapidly as if snapped out of a daze, Charlie looks over at Carl before looking down at the drop of blood on her finger. She quickly wipes it away before standing. "Another round?"
Some time into their next game, the door opens and Rick walks in. He looks first at the kids before the dartboard, his eyebrows raising at the arrows still stuck in the wall. Charlie shrugs when he turns to her but he leaves it with a quiet sigh.
"Dinners ready," He tells them and Carl stands, carefully placing the darts on the bed.
"Charlie?" He says in question when the older girl makes no move to follow.
"I'm good," She offers him a small smile. "Had a big lunch and I'm kind of tired. I think I'll turn in early."
"You sure?"
"Yeah," Charlie nods. She risks a glance over the boy's shoulder and towards his father but looks away immediately. His disappointed look is almost as bad as Daryl's.
"Okay," Carl reluctantly leaves her and moves past Rick out of the room.
The man himself stays behind for a moment to say. "Join us if you change your mind." He leaves when Charlie gives a small nod. But both know she won't.
The knock comes late morning while Charlie is peeking through her curtains. She's just going to ignore it and hope whoever goes away but the person has other plans. Really? Why doesn't her door have a lock on it?
"Hey," Maggie smiles when she enters, not acting at all thrown off by the dark room or the teenager that's seemingly ignoring her. "Missed you at breakfast."
"Wasn't hungry," Charlie answer, her voice quiet but clear. She continues to stare out of the cracked curtain and onto the sunny street. She can see a few people walking around from here, like everything's normal. Like nothing happened. She can still see the blood on the streets. Maybe it'll rain soon.
"Yeah, I felt the same," Maggie sighs and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "Morning sickness."
For the first time, Charlie glances over at the woman. She's happy for her and Glenn. She thinks they'll be amazing parents. But everything just feels...dull.
"I have no early idea why, but there are some seasickness patches in the infirmary," She had been starting to get to know that place like the back of her hand. And as she said, it makes no sense where they're in there but she remembers seeing them and being really confused. "They can help the with nausea."
"Thanks for the tip," Maggie nods with a thoughtful look, and Charlie sighs.
"Did Daryl tell you to come talk to me?" She asks, still looking out the window.
"I can't just come see you?" Maggie questions. "You're practically my little sister after all. I have to look out for you." Despite Maggie's words being true, Charlie sends a raised eyebrow look over her shoulder and the woman winces. "He told me not to tell you." She admits.
"Mm-hmm," Charlie hums and turns back to staring blankly at the street below her. Can she really blame him?
"I was going to come see you anyway," Maggie starts again before Charlie can spiral into her thoughts anymore. "Come on, take a walk with me. It's a beautiful day out." It's been long enough. Maggie had thought Charlie would bust out of her room and never return once she got the all-clear. But the opposite has happened. The girl won't leave. It's like she's hiding. Maggie just wishes she knew what she was hiding from.
"Mag-"
"You can show me where those patches are," Maggie cuts the girl off and stands. She smiles and nods to the door, not moving until Charlie sighs in defeat and walks with her. Just that is a cause of worry for Maggie. Charlie has never been one to give in so easily.
Exiting the house, Charlie squints at the sun's harsh glare. Her curtains block out the light really well. She had been planning on staying in her little cave for the rest of the day, avoiding things such as the sun.
They pass people on the street who only nod before moving on. Charlie sees Carl pushing Judith in her stroller in the distance. He's doing so well, healing-wise. He's been acting a little different but she can't blame the boy. He got shot in the eye, after all. That's not exactly a walk in the park. Not that she would know.
The teenager waves to them but otherwise leaves them alone. Charlie's eyebrows scrunch up when they're halfway to the infirmary. Maybe people have just suddenly decided to mind their own business. But that seems unlikely.
Shaking her head, Charlie continues alongside Maggie until they reach the med building. She marches inside, ignoring Denise - who should probably get out more. Yes, that's hypocritical but she doesn't care - and moves to where she knows she saw those patches.
She hands them to Maggie who slips them into her pocket before ushering the girl back outside. "This place is really coming back together," She tries to start conversation but Charlie only nods along. "I've started planting. Nothing yet but I'm sure that'll change soon. Just have to be patient."
"Mhm," Humming along, Charlie follows Maggie to the benches under the gazebo and sits beside the woman. It really is a beautiful day. Charlie closes her eyes and shakes her head to herself when she feels a lump building in her throat. Why did that make her emotional?! She's seen many sunny days, why is this one different?
Maggie keeps up the one-sided conversation for a little while. Charlie is glad she doesn't force her into talking, she's not sure she can manage right now.
It's not until she sees the woman standing that she turns to her, her eyebrows furrowing. Until she sees who's joined them. "I'll see you later," Maggie smiles at her and pats her pocket. "Thanks for these. I'll let you know if they work." With a parting wave, Maggie walks away.
Daryl is much different than Maggie. He sits next to her but he doesn't speak. He looks out at the view in from of them, his posture relaxed and open as opposed to Charlie's shielded. She sighs and ignores Chrissy's voices in her head.
Sudden exhaustion settles over Charlie. She's been sleeping a lot while at the same time she hasn't. She has bad dreams but takes plenty of naps that she's rested enough. But she suddenly feels more tired than she has in days. She opens her mouth but closes it, unsure what to say. What can she say, really? Apologizing might be a good start. Charlie rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
"I don't know where Buttons is," She somehow settles on. "He ran off."
"He'll be back," Daryl responds, sounding sure. Charlie's not sure she agrees. "He knows where home is. Just got to give 'em time."
Charlie takes the opportunity to ask, saying the words before she can talk herself out of it. "Is that what this is for us now? Home?"
"Do you want it to be?" Does she? Yes, but...
"I killed four people that day," Can it be, after that? Charlie feels a weight settle on her chest when she says those words. She thought confessing things was supposed to make you feel better, not worse. "Four. Didn't even blink." Charlie gives a nonchalant shrug. "I once told you I was scared of the day that I...that I kill someone and I don't feel anything. Well, I didn't and I still don't."
It annoys her, but Daryl has this effect on her. Sometimes she can avoid it but without him even saying anything, she just talks. Says things. She's held out for weeks only to cave now. Maybe it's the change in environment. Seeing where it happened instead of isolating yourself in your room.
Gritting her teeth, Charlie purses her lips and stares forward. She sees Daryl turning his head to look at her but doesn't copy the action.
"Because you're not letting yourself," He knows because he's done the same. For most of his life, he didn't let himself feel things because it was easier not to. And he still does, but it's different now. If he didn't see Charlie blink he would think she was frozen. She's barely moving, he's not entirely convinced she's breathing. Her eyes are glassy but her expression is otherwise blank.
I'd rather feel nothing than feel like that. Charlie almost says this but she doesn't. It feels stupid to her somehow. She remembers what it was like that day so long ago. Back at the prison, when she killed for the first time. The way it felt to take someone's life. Never again does she want to feel like that. At the time she hadn't thought she had a choice, but now she realizes she does. If she pushes it down, doesn't think about it, then she can't feel it.
Dissociation, Chris says to her in a sing-song voice. Charlie has been away from the woman too long, she doesn't think Chrissy would ever say something like that. But maybe she's wrong.
That isn't Chris, Charlie thinks to herself. It's her own mind's version of the woman, created to...haunt her, it would seem.
A loud clattering in the distance followed by a short shout grabs both their attentions. Conversation momentarily forgotten, both Daryl and Charlie jump to their feet and rush towards the commotion.
They reach the sight soon enough. Charlie doesn't pay attention to the mess around her, only the blood pouring out of the man's arm. She has no idea what his name is but she's seen him around a few times. And now his arm is gushing blood. There's no way that's not an artery he severed.
With this thought in mind, Charlie crouches next to him, ignoring those around that poorly try to help. She unbuckles the man's own belt and pulls it from the buckles before tightening it above the wound. She then presses the ruined sleeve of his shirt onto the wound and wraps both her hands around his arm before applying as much pressure as she can.
She doesn't notice the man's pained grunts or cries until she looks up at him. "You're fine," She tells him despite the generous puddle of blood under them. "On your feet, got to get you to Denise." Because if they don't, he won't be fine much longer.
For his part, the man actually does try to stand. But his legs are week and Daryl is on his other side, lifting him off the ground before he can try again. He pulls the man's arm over his shoulder and aids him in walking down the street while Charlie follows, still holding pressure to the wound.
Denise meets them on the road. Someone must've run to get her. She ushers the three of them inside and the man all but falls onto the bed when they reach it.
"Okay, I need to see," Denise says after quickly gathering any supplies she may need and setting them on a tray next to the bed. "Charlie," She says when the teenager doesn't seem to hear her. The girl blinks and finally looks away from her hands and towards the woman. "You can let go."
Hesitating another moment, Charlie looks back down at her hands before letting go quickly and stepping away. If Denise didn't know better, she would've said something had burned her. After clamping the artery, the doctor notices Charlie rushing out of the building.
"I've got this," She says to Daryl, thankful when Rosita appears to assist her. The man doesn't waste another second to go after the teenager. She's quick. And sneaky, always has been. Daryl barely catches sight of her turning up the street in the direction of the house. He picks up his pace.
The house is mostly quiet when he enters. The others are all out doing...whatever it is that they're doing. Daryl can hear the water running upstairs and starts towards the sound.
He finds Charlie easy enough. She's left an easy trail. Her bedroom door is open as is her bathroom. She stands in front of the sink, her hands rubbing together under the spray of water. There's soap in her hands and she continues to scrub until he has to step forward and stop her.
"It won't come off," She whispers, still trying to clean her hands under the water despite his hold on her wrists.
"It's off," He whispers to her. Yes, her skin is pink, but it's from the steaming water and harsh scrubbing. But he doesn't think she can tell the difference. "It's off." He repeats and steps between her and the sink.
Charlie closes her eyes but when she does, she sees her hands, red and covered in blood while they drive a blade into a man's eye. She doesn't close them again. When a sob suddenly escapes her throat, she slaps a hand over her mouth, still forcibly holding her red, watering eyes open.
"Come here," While whispering the soft words, Daryl pulls Charlie to him and holds her tight, cradling the back of her head. He runs his fingers through her hair as he listens to her cry. He's never liked it when she cried. But now he can't help but think it's a good thing. If only that thought could stop the clenching in his heart.
When Charlie starts crying, she'll feel as if she'll never stop. That's something she'd been afraid of, that there was just too much and once she let herself feel it all, it would be too much. But then she stops. Then she thinks. And she cries some more.
She feels small. Like a lost child. Weak and cold. If it weren't for the warm arms holding her together, she thinks she would fall to pieces. Well, more so than she already has.
When she does stop for real, Charlie can't breathe. She shifts and only then realizes they're on the bathroom floor. Daryl's back is to the wall and he holds her close. She hadn't even noticed when they'd moved.
Charlie takes a deep breath through her mouth due to her stuffy nose. A tissue is offered to her silently when she lifts a shaky hand to wipe her face. She takes it and wipes her nose before sitting up and blowing it more. She makes a small disgusted noise before throwing the tissue away and grabbing another.
Daryl steps out after a moment, giving her the chance to change into some clean clothes. But as soon as she exits the bathroom, he's right there with a blanket in hand. He wraps said blanket around her shoulders and Charlie doesn't protest. It's started to get cooler outside but even if it wasn't, she would welcome the feeling of the soft material wrapped around her.
It may feel childish, and maybe she is a child, but Charlie is tired. So she hugs the blanket around her and climbs onto her bed. She lies down and curls into a little ball, her eyes slowly closing after her head hits the pillow. And just like that, she falls asleep to the feeling of Daryl's hand resting on her shoulder.
I was actually going to drag this out longer, and don't get me wrong, Charlie still has a lot to work through, but this breakdown happened way before I planned. It just didn't feel natural when I tried to push it off.
Daryl in my head seems more...non-sensitive. But I was just watching some of season 6 and 7 and realized how wrong I was. Dude freaking cares so much for his family and hugs people and asks if they're okay all concerned like. It's so adorable. Like, Daryl would definitely do all that ^
I had a question for you guys but I forgot what it was...any questions for me?
Until next time, friends!
'-'