DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

"You have to know something about this Baa-chan," Naruto whined at her traveling companion as she tried to decide which direction to go from their present position in the Land of Hot Water. "You were the one that sent us on those missions..."

"This was your job, brat! I may be part Uzumaki, but outside of the seals almost everyone knows, my expertise is focused on medical uses: something you need to seriously work on, young lady!" She glared at the girl she considered her granddaughter for a moment and bit her lip. Unlike Naruto, Shizune had taken orders so easily and was always so pleasant to travel with. Sighing deeply, she thought about how much she missed her niece and first apprentice who had hooked up with a Jonin from Kumo after apparently having had enough with Tsunade's rage over supposedly losing Naruto.

Unfortunately, they hadn't run into Shizune yet. When they were visiting Kumo, Tsunade was eventually told that her niece was honeymooning with her new husband outside the country. Not being there for her niece nearly broke her heart. She didn't even know who Shizune had married, but she had a feeling that it might be a certain tall blonde sensory-type Jonin. It was either him or the Raikage-in-training, and Tsunade didn't think the rather lazy but powerful man was Shizune's type. Gods knew that Kakashi had always driven her niece unhappily crazy.

Naruto was difficult to deal with, but Tsunade would admit that the young woman was fun to be around for the most part. An expert gambler, Naruto paid for their travels through hustling casino owners.

She was worried about her foster granddaughter, however. Although she pretended she hadn't noticed, Tsunade had seen the younger blonde crying silently several times, which just wasn't like the girl at all. Fucking Hatake... "You really don't remember where Jiraiya said the key to the seal array is?"

"No, and honestly I can only think of one place it might be. I know that the seals SHOULD hold, but I think I used to check on them monthly, usually after I visited with the toads? Gah! I really wish I remembered everything, already!" Naruto pouted adorably as she moved toward a large tree. Tsunade would've laughed at her expression, had she not been concerned.

The Godaime watched as the "girl" once again pulled that asshole's mask out to smell it. Tsunade tried to keep her rage in check at the Hatake just abandoning his supposed "mate." Oh, he's going to marry Naruto, alright, whether he likes it or not, she thought hypocritically. There was no way that the Godaime Hokage would allow people to talk badly about the girl again: whether it was regarding Naruto's chastity being thrown about or whatever bullshit they came up with!

Clan heirs were supposed to be "pure" for their marriage ceremony, but most if not all shinobi completely disregarded that stupid old-fashioned part of the Village Charter. Of course, my prudish great-uncle wrote it. The civilians, though? Oh, they'd have a fit!

Petty hypocrites!

The Slug Princess couldn't help but let out a snort after Naruto sat down, the douchebag's mask still against her face, as the young woman made more notes on the pages of her new book. Here I am worried about people seeing her as impure, while she's doing a freaking porn tour. Jiraiya would have been even more proud of her. Tsunade was sure that her deceased teammate would kick Hatake's ass, though.

Scrutinizing Naruto's curvy but lithe frame, she knew that she needed to drag the young woman back to Konoha - who would imagine the Senju Princess bringing Naruto back, rather than the other way around? - before she started showing. For a few moments, she tried to calculate how long it would take her to throw a wedding together. "Naruto..."

The woman in question interrupted her, figuring that her Baa-chan was going to bring up going back to Konoha again. "Uzushiogakure. It's the only place that makes sense, so we should go check out the ruins." Tsunade's face paled. Naruto remembered the Old Hag telling her at one point that she hadn't been there since just before her grandmother, Lady Mito, had passed, and Naruto only sort of recalled what the ruins of Uzushio might have looked like. She was sure that going there might lead to more of her memories returning but had a feeling that it would be painful. "First, though, we gotta get to that interview in Kiri! Lady Mai's gonna be there, and her message said she promised she'd melt the show's host if he asked about the war. It's great that we'll be focusing on my book instead! Mizukage-sama said that she's a huge fan of the series!" Tsunade snorted at her but didn't look surprised. "Can you give me a few minutes to rest? We'll need to head that way really soon."

"Fine. It'll be good to see Mai again," Tsunade agreed easily. From where they were, it would only take a moment for Naruto to flash them to the nearest Hiraishin marker near the border, most likely. Thank Kami I held on to one of her father's kunai. I really need to unseal the remainder of them from the office! She sat down next to the younger blonde, leaning against the same tree, and closed her eyes. Prayer wasn't something Tsunade normally took part in, but the serene moment moved her.

"Kami-sama... Thank you for bringing the gaki back to me. Please look after all my girls and their spawn."

She paused for a moment and frowned at hearing her grandfather's voice in her head: "C'mon, Tsu-chan! Be nice! Don't hold the past against people! It's important that you learn to forgive." Tsunade no longer remembered what she did to deserve such guidance, but her grandfather, Senju Hashirama, was right. "Forgiveness is difficult," she whispered into the near dark.

Naruto's eyes quickly opened again. "Did you say something, Baa-chan?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, brat," Tsunade smiled. "It's something you seem to have mastered. Don't mind me."

Naruto leaned her head against Tsunade's shoulder, trying to hold her eyes open for a little longer. Pregnancy was making her so tired. "Yeah. I'm awesome," she said cheekily, knowing that the older woman would become hostile and thus hilarious.

"You are the worst, you little nightmare!" Naruto just chuckled at her Baa-chan's meanness as sleep once again overtook her. Tsunade heard her companion's breaths evening out, indicating that she was asleep. "Alright, Kami-sama: let's get back to it. Look after the stupid village and that idiot Hokage, but do me a favor, ne? Save him for my gaki... but what do you say: you can inflict some pain on him, hmm? Please?!"

Little did she know that it wasn't Kami that was currently inflicting pain on the Hokage.

Kakashi observed the chibified fox menace that had invaded Konoha, and specifically his bedroom, three weeks ago.

Tiny-Kurama was stretched out and dozing on the office windowsill, looking peaceful and pleased with himself. He always looks that way when he sleeps. Kakashi's ninken, the traitors, had sided with Kurama and even eventually agreed that nine was a superior number to eight, so now he had to constantly deal with a sliver of a Bijuu along with his ninken, all who really had it out from him right now. His ninken were incredibly angry and frustrated that he had screwed up his relationship with their second favorite person.

Come to think of it, maybe they prefer her more than me now.

The Hokage sighed loudly. He seemed to be stuck with the Bijuu's biggest asshole. Kakashi pouted under his mask at his sleeping dogs. "I miss Naruto." Pakkun sat up and moved over to rub his little head against his master's hand. He offered Kakashi his paw, which was soft, of course, but didn't make him feel any better.

From what his ninken had learned, Kurama had started recovering his chakra in an outer forest very soon after Naruto was supposedly dead and buried. Once the fox recognized that she was out of the ground and alive, Kakashi could only imagine that Naruto was something of a loadstar for him. How Kurama knew what had happened to his Naru was a mystery to him.

It was frankly amazing to him that the beast would willingly be confined inside of any human again, and the Hatake believed that Kurama wasn't only doing this for Naruto, whether or not the fox loved and admired the blonde to the end of the world... Feelings he wasn't quite so sure the furry son-of-a-bitch could even experience, no matter what Naruto had said.

Saying that he was amazing and "the great leader" of Kami-knows-what, Kurama declared that he would aid and replenish Naruto, but would also not return all of his chakra to his favored host.

Kakashi was also taunted about how some of Kurama's chakra was already flowing within his unborn pups.

He'd literally kicked the Bijuu hard after learning that, readying himself to Chidori the little bastard as he raged and freaked out over something terrible happening to his unborn offspring. The fox was stronger and faster than Kakashi had imagined though, considering that the little asshole was immediately in his face, nearly biting his nose off.

Thank the gods for Sakura eventually feeling bad for and healing me. "Hmmm..." Kurama also assured Pakkun that Naruto and the pups will be fine, though. Kakashi pouted under his mask, "I want her to come back" he whined.

From everything he'd seen, the fox was cunning and egotistical - even for a Bijuu who had lived for a millennium and experienced so much. The last time he'd put Gai in charge of the village while he tracked Naruto and Tsunade, the fox accompanied him and his ninken. Kakashi had no idea that a Bijuu could put him in a genjutsu, but Kurama certainly did. He tricked Kakashi into entering a woman's bathhouse with an illusion. The Hokage thought in the end that he was going to die that very day, but it was also the fox that got him out of there. He really wasn't sure what to think when it came to that orange menace.

It's been over a month!

"I can hear you thinking from here, Pervert. Get back to work!"

"Is Naruto alright?" The fox only closed his eyes to go back to sleep. Asshole. Kurama had been like this from the beginning, though...

Kakashi finally felt sleep closely approaching despite his increasing worries after returning again to the Tower without his girl. Gai had done an amazing job in his stead when the Hokage had been out trying and failing to track down his sweet Naruto, and considering that, he couldn't really blame the man for passing a measure to celebrate an "International Day of Youth." If the Hatake were being honest - and he wouldn't think of doing such a thing, considering his "Rival" in any way - he was amazed that Gai had not only managed to get the holiday passed through the council, but also had the entire village celebrating with green banners and sales on jumpsuits, weights, and the like. The Hyuuga compound even seemed to be celebrating.

"Oh, Naruto," he whispered longingly as he began dreaming of the beautiful blonde in their sex swing: she looked so enthralled and delectable. His dream was shattered by weight and claws on his chest. The claws also pierced his shoulders.

"Oi, Pervert! You made me experience the horrors of human coupling yet again. Now I'll have less room in the seal because of your half-wolf brats! I'll make you pay!"

ANBU had invaded his bedroom upon hearing their Hokage screech and had pulled off the snarky and apparently enraged chibi fox.

"I hate you so much," Kakashi said quite clearly in a low tone. He watched as the fox's lips pulled back into a rather terrifying, toothy smirk. Kakashi pushed down his anger. "Can't we go get them now? I know that YOU know where they are."

Kurama yawned and began to speak, "They're on their way to..." The fox suddenly stopped and looked concerned. "Naruto has engaged in battle close to Uzushiogakure."

"WHAT?!"