A/N: Howdy Howdy y'all! Hope all of you are doing well and that you enjoy this chapter. Did want to give everyone a teeny little heads up though that if you don't like TV shows similar in nature to *ahem* Call the Midwife... y'all may want to skip to the second set of ellipses... ANYWAY! Happy reading, and thanks again to everyone for continuing to read/review/follow/favorite. As always: thanks to Leona2016 and FenrisInside for their continued support and encouragement. Take care until next time everybody!
-Emmeth
Ben hadn't spoken since they'd left Sidious' throne room. It had taken them hours to clamber back through the ruins to where Luke's TIE perched high above the tossing waves, and now the sun lay low on the horizon. The world had gone dim around them, as gray and dismal as the sea, and a strong wind was blowing over it, smelling of brine and rain.
"Storm's blowing in," Luke said, shielding his face against the salt spray. "We need to get off the surface."
Ben picked up his pace, ignoring the water that swept over the wreckage. He gripped one of the TIE's pylons and scrambled up after Luke, ducking through the hatch to settle into the gunner's chair. Luke began to flip switches as Ben fumbled with the straps of his harness. He had just finished buckling it across his chest when Luke geared up the engines. There was a high whine that was quickly overtaken by a brief shriek of metal on metal, and the TIE jolted forward.
It shot out over the sea, its engines pitching higher as they gathered speed. From the viewport Ben saw foam tipped waves blurring beneath him, the water dull and murky. The TIE nosed upward and gray clouds filled the viewport instead of gray sea. But only for a moment. Then the sun blinded him as they punched through the cloud layer, fading away almost as quickly as they passed through the atmosphere and into the emptiness beyond.
Ben stared about him at the flickering stars. Too many stars to count, and each circled by planets. Each a world of its own. He could feel them like a warm light on his face. It had been so long since he'd taken notice. So long since he'd cared. He closed his eyes and a faint smile tugged at his mouth. Maybe somewhere out there, among all those stars, was a place he could take Rey. Maybe there was a place where they could be safe and where their child could grow free from the darkness that had haunted them both for so long. Maybe somewhere out there, there was a new beginning.
But his hand rested against the hard object in his pack; and his doubts and fears rose in him again. There was one more job to be done. One last battle to fight. His gut twisted at the thought; the dread of facing his old master a great and terrible force that left him all but paralyzed.
Help me, grandfather.
His thoughts were interrupted by a soft chime that came from somewhere behind him. Ben turned in his seat and craned his neck, waiting for the hologram he knew would appear. Sure enough, Taryn's form erupted from the holoprojector, his hands behind his back in his usual posture of contemplation.
"Kylo," he said, "if you're receiving this hologram, I haven't been able to get back to the holorecorder to wipe the message from the system. We were just attacked by several destroyers. Mitaka thinks it's almost all that remains of the old First Order, and Cy agrees with him. The shields are holding for now, but they caught us without the rest of the fleet. The escort ships are doing what they can, but we're going to have to wait for the heavy guns before we can give them a fight. You're not going to be able to get through. I've already gotten word to Mela, and she's taking Rey and the others back to her ship. They'll meet you there. With any luck, this will be over in a day or two and you can return. Until then, may the Force be with you, brother."
The hologram jerked and fizzled, then went dark. Luke glanced over his shoulder at Ben, then back to the viewport as they sped past the green glow of Endor's forest moon. Ben watched it pass, his mind drifting to the stories of his childhood. Luke, too, gazed at it, and Ben could tell that his thoughts were a thousand miles away.
"Set a course for the Kafrene system," Ben murmured. "Mela's ship will be somewhere in the asteroid belt there."
Luke nodded and began to tap coordinates into the flight computer, throwing a few switches as he worked. The noise of the engines went higher, and the harness straps dug into Ben's shoulders while outside the viewport the stars blurred and stretched into brilliant threads of light. Ben watched them for a while in silence, sensing the pull of Rey's presence strengthening as the TIE cut through the emptiness between them. It was bright and familiar, but there was something about it that set him on edge: a tension that had him glancing at the instruments every few minutes as he attempted to calculate their time of arrival.
Even though he knew it was coming, the lurch of the TIE dropping out of hyperspace rattled his teeth. He leaned forward to peer through the viewport and caught a glimpse of an asteroid tumbling lazily through space, its pocked surface an almost beautiful shade of silver.
"Well, this is the Kafrene system," came Luke's voice, "but I don't see any ship."
"She'll be in among the asteroids where it's easier to hide," Ben replied. "Tune to their comm frequency and they'll give you coordinates."
Ben heard the click of several buttons and then a rush of static as the comm came online. Luke waited for it to clear, then spoke into the device. A few seconds later, the reply crackled from the speaker, the person on the other end listing out the coordinates in a breathless rush. Ben thought it sounded like one of the younglings; a girl's tight nervous voice instead of Mela's calm, even one. With the knights busy, he guessed that they'd left the care of the ships and younger children to the students that were nearly grown. It wasn't ideal, but then nothing about the situation they were all in was ideal.
Luke murmured something else and switched off the comm, edging the throttle forward. The TIE accelerated, weaving among the floating rocks and Ben soon found himself bathed in the harsh artificial light of a hangar, watching the airlock doors closing behind them. Luke eased the TIE into an empty bay and onto the deck, shutting down the engines as the ship settled.
They climbed out onto the wing and dropped to the floor. From across the room he heard several shouts of greeting and looked up to see a dozen or so troopers lounging around a cargo box, their packs scattered over the floor. To his surprise, several younglings were scampering among them; a few gnawing on ration bars while others pointed to weapons and armor, asking dozens of questions. He even spotted Nani sitting cross-legged on the floor while engrossed in a game of holochess with the trooper captain, chattering away and pointing out the flawed strategy of her opponent. It was such a foreign sight that it stopped him in his tracks.
"Kylo, thank the Force you're back."
Ben whirled to see Mela striding toward him, a grim expression on her face.
"Mela," he exclaimed, "what in blazes…?"
"It's Rey," Mela interrupted. "You'd better come with me. Now."
"What is it?" he asked, his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach. "Is she injured?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Then what's going on?" Ben asked, striding after the knight as she hurried through the doors to the hangar bay and into the corridor beyond.
"I'm almost sure that Rey's in labor."
Ben's step faltered and a sudden nausea roiled in his gut. He could feel the blood draining from his face, and he had to clench his hands into fists to keep them from shaking.
"She was acting strangely when she returned with the wayfinder," Mela continued, unaware of his anxiety. "I didn't notice it at first, but by the time we got back to the shuttle, I could tell she was hurting. It seems like it's only gotten worse since then."
"Is she alright? Is the baby-?"
"That's a question for Patch, not me. I can tell you that she's scared out of her mind. I left Patch with her, but she needs you right now more than she does us."
Ben pulled in a long breath; his whole world seeming to tilt on its axis. The day they had been waiting for had finally come, but it had come too soon. He glanced at Mela from the corner of his eyes, more uncertain than he'd ever been as the knight stopped in front of a door and gestured him forward. She gave him a thin smile and squeezed his shoulder in a grip that might have been reassuring if he hadn't seen the fear in her eyes.
"It'll be alright, Kylo."
Ben turned away, pressing his hand to the palm lock and waiting while the door slid open. He shrugged off Mela's hand, glancing back at her.
"I'll believe that when the baby is here safely, and Sidious is dead."
He strode through the doorway, his eyes sweeping the room for Rey. Patch stood quietly in a corner; her gaze fixed on the back of a low couch. At his questioning look, she inclined her head toward it, lifting her shoulders in a gesture of helpless surrender.
"I tried, Supreme Leader," she whispered, "but she's too frightened to listen to me."
Ben nodded, taking a step closer to peer over the back of the sofa. He could see Rey on the floor at its feet, many pieces of something that shone silver in the harsh white light glittering on the worn carpet.
She sat there, scattered bits of metal at her knees, struggling to loosen a bolt from the hilt of her saber. Her fingers were wrapped tight around a wrench, though she seemed to be making little progress with the device; the tool slipping from the bolt again and again as her movements grew increasingly frantic.
"Rey," he asked gently, "what are you doing?"
"I need to cleanse my crystals," she said, her voice breathless and thin. "They don't respond like they used to, and I'll need them when we face Sidious. Luke told me of a way to do it and…"
She trailed off into silence, her body stiffening. For a long minute, she remained still and all but silent, the only sound from her the harsh rasp of her breathing coming sharp and quick through clenched teeth. And then she was back, focused on the bolt. Ben knelt down, sliding his hands around hers to steady them so that the wrench caught and held. Her fingers still in his, he loosened the bolt. It hit the floor with a soft click, and the hilt fell open to reveal the two Kyber crystals nestled inside.
Rey fumbled with the weapon for a moment, and the two blood red crystals clattered onto the floor, each bouncing in a different direction. Ben snatched them up before they could disappear under the furniture and held them out to her. She took them carefully and set them on the floor before her, staring down at them.
"Rey," Ben repeated. "What are you doing?"
"I don't know," she whispered. "I just needed a distraction, I guess."
"You've been in pain all day. Mela told me," Ben said, reaching up to run a hand over her sweat-damp cheek. "It's time."
"No," Rey said, tears welling up to run down her cheeks. "No. Not yet. We still have time. I need to cleanse my crystals. If I can get it done tonight, we can leave tomorrow and-"
"I don't think so, Rey."
The tears came faster, and Rey began to sob in earnest. Ben settled beside her and gathered her into his arms, letting her cry against his chest.
"I just want it to be safe," she wept, her voice muffled in the folds of his tunic. "That's all I ever wanted…"
She fell silent and Ben felt her stiffen against him, her breath beginning to come in the short, panicked gasps that told him she was in pain. It lasted for far longer than he expected before Rey's muscles went slack and the rigid line of her back softened. She curled into him, a few shuddering breaths shaking her shoulders.
"I don't think I can do this, Ben," she whispered, the words coming as little more than an exhalation.
"You can."
"But-"
"Rey," he said, pressing a kiss against her forehead, "forget about everything else for a little while. Can you do that for me?"
She stared up at him, fear in her eyes and lines of pain etched over her face.
"Don't think about anything else but this," he murmured. "The rest will wait."
"I'll try," she managed, swallowing hard as she tried to give him a weak smile, the tears still glittering on her face as she drew a shaking breath.
The smile slid into a grimace and she went quiet again, her eyes squeezing shut and her fingers clenching around handfuls of his robes. Ben glanced to where Patch and Mela stood in the corner, giving them a small nod. Mela seemed to immediately understand his meaning and hurried forward, Patch in her wake.
"Come on, Rey," the little medic said, easing Rey to her feet as the contraction ebbed away, "let's see how things are moving along."
Rey was silent as she allowed herself to be led forward and helped into the bed that had been recessed into the wall. Ben saw the tears beginning to flow again and felt her humiliation in the bond, swirling there among the fear and uncertainty as Mela draped a blanket over her and Patch sat down at her knees.
"What do you think it is?" he said as he took her hand in his and settled next to her, stroking a thumb over her knuckles in an effort to distract her. "Boy or girl?"
"I don't know," Rey said, her voice trembling. "But with our luck it's sure to have your stubborn streak, whatever it is."
"You mean your stubborn streak," Ben said, chuckling.
Patch smoothed the blanket down and Ben looked over his shoulder to see her pull a device from her pocket and hold it against Rey's abdomen, while she peered at the screen for a few seconds. She frowned slightly, then moved it around until she seemed to find what she was looking for. Her frown deepened and she tucked the device away again to begin pressing her hands into Rey's stomach, prodding until Rey squirmed in discomfort. The medic finally released her, sitting back, and wiping her hands with a soapy cloth Mela handed her, her brow furrowed.
"Is everything alright, Patch?" Ben asked.
"I'm not sure," she replied, slowly. "How long have you been having pains, Rey?"
"Since yesterday," Rey said as she sat up, giving her a wary look. "But they weren't bad at first. Off and on like before until after we landed on Mustafar. Why?"
"You're making good progress, but I think your baby is turned the wrong way: trying to come face up instead of face down. I can feel the top of the head, but it's not where I would expect it to be this far into labor."
"What does that mean?" Ben asked, as Rey's fingers tightened around his.
"It just means that things might take a little longer," Patch said. "Rey's doing well so far, and I can't sense any sign of distress from the baby, so we'll just wait for right now. Everything I've read says that most babies positioned this way will turn on their own."
Rey's grip on his hand grew suddenly stronger and Ben looked over just in time to see her leaning forward over her knees, teeth gritted, and eyes shut. Patch saw it too and nodded.
"Let's get you to the side of the bed, Rey," she said. "We need that baby to turn."
…
"I'm starting to get worried, sir. It's been hours…"
"I know, Patch."
Ben glanced over his shoulder to where Rey knelt with Mela at her side, rocking slowly back and forth in the throes of another contraction. It had been hours. Far too many hours.
"I'd feel better if my master were here, or if we could get to his ship, but he's on the Finalizer and we haven't been able to get through to his ship to find out their coordinates. They've been on the move ever since-"
"Ever since the near brush with those pirates," Ben said. "I know."
"Sir, I could operate here, if it came to it, but I don't have the kind of medication for that. We have precious few supplies here- only enough to stabilize someone for transport to Master Corann's ship…"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that the contractions are slowing down and I'm beginning to sense the wrong kinds of changes in the baby's life signs. It needs to come soon, otherwise both it and Rey could be in very real danger."
Ben nodded slowly and moved away from the medic to kneel at Rey's side, gesturing for Mela to move aside.
"Rey?"
"Something's wrong, isn't it?" she rasped. "I can feel it."
"Patch thinks the baby won't be able to tolerate much more of this. She doesn't think you'll be able to go on much longer either."
"I'll do whatever I have to do."
"I know you will. But it might not be enough, Rey. If the baby doesn't turn…"
Rey was still for a long minute, breathing through another of the pains, tears coursing silently down her face. She was tired and drawing close to despair, and yet he could sense her reaching out in the Force, instinctively calling out for the light side in her fear. He knew the moment it enfolded her; her tense muscles easing by a fraction and a long sigh rushing out into the silence.
Slowly, her eyes slid closed and she raised her hands until they rested on both sides of her stomach. Ben began to feel the tug of her against him, and he suddenly understood her purpose as the bond pulled him closer. He followed willingly, settling before her, and pressing his hands over hers. He could feel their child nestled there, its presence in the Force small and flickering like a dying star, and a cold fear took him.
It's time, little one. We're waiting for you.
Rey's thoughts whispered through him, full of love, and warmth, and light. Ben let them wash over him, his eyes drifting shut in the peace of the light side. He echoed the words in his own mind, pouring a measure of his strength into them and hoping that it would somehow make a difference.
As if in response, the child's presence flared into sudden fire, and something lurched under their joined fingers. Ben's eyes snapped open to Rey's gasp, a relieved smile spreading over his face.
"I told you it's going to have your stubborn streak," he said, laughing.
Rey started to laugh with him, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her robe. But her laughter only lasted until the next contraction. Her smile died as her cheeks drained of what little color they still possessed, and her fingers wrapped Ben's arms, squeezing until he wondered if he would have bruises.
"Rey?" he asked, all traces of humor leaving him.
"I think…" Rey started, her voice faint, "I think I need to lie down."
"Better get her to the bed," Patch said, hurrying forward. "We might be close after all."
As they settled her on the mattress, Rey began to groan; a guttural noise that set the hair on Ben's neck on end. He'd heard wounded and dying men sound like that, and it brought back all the memories he most wanted to forget. He shuddered, kneeling beside Rey, and took her cool hand in his. Patch was at her knees, quickly feeling for the baby's head while she spoke quietly to Rey. Ben wasn't sure if she even heard the medic. She was drawing into herself, going somewhere half in the world and half outside it. Her mind had become a strange place of half blurred sounds and images; old memories rising and fading, every sensation but pain dull and far away.
"It's turned," Patch said, her face splitting in a grin. "That's all we needed. It's going to be soon."
A high, strangled sob broke from Rey, quickly descending the scale until it became another deep moan. Ben edged backward, only for Mela to grip him by the shoulder.
"It'll be alright, Ben," she whispered. "She'll need you through this."
Not sure if he would remain upright if he stayed standing, Ben sank to the mattress at Rey's side, taking her hand again. Her fingers went tight around his, and she stiffened; the tendons standing out in her neck to hide the pulsing beat of her heart. He heard her breathing change until it became harsh and ragged; her exhaustion clear to be read beneath the sweat and tears.
"Well done, Rey," murmured Patch. "You're nearly there."
Ben looked over his shoulder at the medic, and his mouth went dry as he saw Patch's hands come away bloody. Rey's breaths began to come in shallow gasps, then cut off as her face screwed up in pain. Her body went rigid and her hands clutched at him, holding tight as though doing so eased the pain.
"I can see a head," Patch said.
Rey didn't seem to hear her. Her eyes were glazed and focused somewhere he could not see. Sweat beaded on her forehead to run down her face in rivulets. Patch quickly nudged Rey's leg to get her attention, shaking her head.
"Slowly, Rey," she murmured. "Breathe. It must come slowly."
Rey stilled, face to face with Ben as she pulled in a great lungful of air and then another. Strands of her hair clung to her neck, soaked through with sweat. It seemed a moment of peace in a storm and he felt the anxiety ebbing away from her as she stretched towards the light once more. Her eyes focused again and found him in a moment of clarity. He gave her a shaky smile, and the corner of her mouth drew up in an equally weak expression.
Then the contraction bore her away from him again, back into the agony that, if their dreams were right, would bring forth the culmination of a great plot in which they had become entangled, and which none of them could see. He bit his lip, anxiety stirring again in his stomach. Would the child be a monster like its great-grandfather? Like its father?
The sudden pinch of Rey's fingers wrapping tight around his arm broke him from his musings. A low groan had started somewhere deep inside her and her face was contorted with pain: eyes squeezing shut, teeth clenching as she pushed. Tears slid down her cheeks. Ben peered over his shoulder to see Mela's widening grin. She motioned him towards the foot of the bed and he quickly obeyed. When he reached the place where Patch sat at Rey's knees, the little medic grabbed him by the wrist. Gently, she guided his hands downward.
"It is your child as much as it is Rey's," she said. "Let its father's arms be the ones to welcome it into the galaxy."
Ben swallowed hard and extended his trembling hands as Rey bore down again. His fingers cradled something dark and pasted with blood and fluid. Mela's smile spread a little wider as she unfolded a thick towel and Patch gave Rey's hand an encouraging squeeze. But Rey was far beyond it all. She sucked in a breath and bore down again, face blotchy from her effort and her tears, and Ben watched, transfixed, as the tiny body of their son slid into his arms.
The boy was red from head to foot and covered in the white substance that had protected him in Rey's womb. A thick shock of black hair covered his head and his dark brows were furrowed as if in displeasure. Ben couldn't help the smile that spread over his face as the child coughed, whimpered, then broke into a full-fledged scream; his tiny fists and feet trembling in his anger.
Tears that Ben had not realized were gathering in his eyes began to run down his cheeks, a strange joy filling him as he gazed down at the squalling boy. Joy and an inexplicable hope. Hope that the light he sensed radiating from the newborn would remain untouched and undimmed. The tears became a torrent that ran down his face and, with his son lying seconds old in his arms, Ben began to sob.
"It's here?" Rey asked, her voice small from where she lay still on the bed beside him, gasping and trembling.
"He's here," Ben rasped, swiping at his eyes.
"A boy?"
Rey tried to sit up, but she was shaking do badly that her arms gave way beneath her. Mela helped her upright so she could see Ben cradling the infant close as Patch cut the umbilical cord. Ben wrapped the child in a blanket and handed him to Rey. She took him hesitantly, something uncertain in her face. She had the same lost look that he'd seen the day he'd first encountered her; that half-glazed doubt that what she was seeing was really happening.
She gazed down at their son and her eyes began to clear as they took on a depth and softness Ben rarely saw. She lifted an edge of the blanket, running the side of a finger gently over his cheek. The infant stretched, turning his head toward the touch, and opening his mouth.
"He's beautiful," she whispered.
The child stared up at her with eyes as blue as Kamino's sea, squinting and blinking slowly as if struggling to focus on her face. She smiled down at him and pressed a kiss against his head, drawing a deep breath in through her nose, eyes drifting shut. An answering smile tugged at Ben's mouth as he reached out, rubbing his fingertips over the soft down of his son's still damp hair and wondering what good thing he could have possibly done to deserve the happiness he felt.
...
The hours after his son's birth seemed to pass too quickly for Ben. At first, there was Patch and Mela rustling about the room, cleaning up the mess of the birth and helping Rey wash and settle herself under clean blankets before Patch taught Rey how to feed the infant. And then it was just him and Rey and the baby, left alone in a warm quiet.
The boy had gone to sleep long before, tucked into Rey's tunic against the skin of her chest. She had scarcely looked away from him since he'd been born, except when she would look up at Ben and smile with such an expression of disbelieving joy that it made his heart hurt. He stretched out beside her on the bed and ran his hand gently over the infant's back, feeling the rapid rise and fall of his tiny chest beneath his fingers.
"What should we name him?" Ben asked softly, the question that had been hovering at the back of his thoughts finally spoken aloud.
Rey glanced up as though startled, her eyes wide. She stayed quiet, a thoughtful expression growing on her face.
"What about Han?" she asked. "He was your father, and he meant a lot to me too."
"No," Ben said, pain lancing through him. "Not that name. I don't want to remember my father every time I say my son's name."
Rey nodded, her eyes going back to the baby in her arms.
"What should we call him, then?"
Ben was silent for a few minutes, thinking back.
"When I was a boy, my father would tell me stories about a friend of his during the war," He said finally. "Col Serra. He fought beside my father in many of the battles. He always said Col was a good man. 'Too good to be a smuggler', were his words actually."
"Col," Rey repeated softly, a finger brushing the shell of the child's ear. "I think it suits him."
"Col," Ben agreed.
They sat together in silence, watching as the little boy yawned, then settled deeper into sleep. Ben smiled, feeling Rey's contentment and peace like a warm light at his side. But even as he relaxed into it, he began to sense it dimming. He glanced up, suddenly uneasy, just in time to see the expression on Rey's face beginning to shift. He could sense the path of her thoughts as he saw the familiar line of worry settle between her brows.
"Ben," she murmured, "what are we going to do?"
The question was like a plunge into icy water. For Ben, the world had seemed to shrink until it contained only Rey, and Col, and himself. But Rey's question brought the weight of the entire galaxy crashing back into his mind, and his world suddenly and painfully expanded until it was big enough for all of his fear and doubt again. In spite of the warmth of the room, a chill ran through him.
"We'll have to go after Sidious," he said. "If I can get the wayfinders rigged into our navigation systems, we could…"
He trailed off when he saw the exhaustion in Rey's expression. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes closed as if she couldn't bear to face the choices that waited for them. Col stirred in her arms, and Rey glanced down at him again, tears gathering under her lashes to run down her cheeks.
"Ben, I can't go. I won't be worth anything if it comes to a fight. I…I hurt all over and I can hardly keep my eyes open, and…"
"And Col needs you," Ben said, watching her running a finger over one of their son's fisted hands. "But we're out of time, Rey. I don't know how long it's going to take me to calibrate the systems, but once I have them set, I'm going to find Exegol. This is my history. My responsibility."
Rey looked up at him, her confliction and pain running so deep that he could feel it in his own soul. She was torn in two, caught between her love and fear for him, and her love and fear for the child she had brought into the world. Both held pieces of her heart.
"And what of my history?" she asked. "I'm the granddaughter of Sidious. It is at least as much my responsibility to right the wrongs committed by my family as it is yours. I won't let you do this alone."
"There's a chance neither of us will make it back from this," Ben replied. "We would be leaving Col behind…"
Rey bit her lip, and Ben began to sense the memories flickering through her mind as if they were his own. She was weighing the pain she'd felt as a child against the needs of a galaxy threatened by the return of the one who had held it in sway for far too long.
"I am bound to you," she whispered. "I will go where you go, no matter what end the Force might bring about."
"Rey-"
"Promise me that you won't go alone to face Sidious."
"Rey-"
"Promise me, Ben."
He let out a long sigh, reaching out to clasp her hand with his. She squeezed, the pressure of her fingers a demand for him to answer her.
"I promise," he said at last. "We'll do this together, or not at all."