Friday
As grateful as Santana was that Brittany had come to Lima to look after her and Mila when they were sick, they were now truly feeling the consequences of it. Brittany had returned to New York on the Tuesday evening, sacrificing her original days off, and now she was working flat out until the first weekend in April. By this point, it had only been 3 days since Santana had last seen her girlfriend, but knowing she wasn't seeing her for a whole other week was so hard. Now she was finally with Brittany, she just wanted to be with her all the time.
It didn't help matters that Brittany was working such long days, it was hard to find time to talk, and often by the time Brittany had finished work Santana was asleep, exhausted from her own day being at work and being a single mom. Snatched texts between Brittany's hectic work schedule and Santana's home life were just about all they could muster up at the moment. It felt like they were ships in the night, and that was tough for both of them.
Santana felt like for whatever reason, she wasn't coping with the long-distance aspect quite as well as Brittany seemed to be, but what kept her going was the fact Brittany was worth it. Their time together was worth it, and she always felt that having a date planned in the diary for when they'd next see each other was a big help. Luckily, Brittany was one step ahead of her, and before she left for New York she had booked Santana and Mila tickets to come to New York for the first weekend in April when Brittany had the full weekend off. It had been a while since they all spent time in New York together, so at least there was that to look forward too.
Mila was especially excited about this and counting down the days also. She had gone back into school on the Wednesday, having fully recovered, but had been in a bad mood ever since. Santana wasn't sure if it was because she was missing Brittany like she was and didn't want her to go back to New York after the cute family-fuelled days they'd spent together where Mila had fully basked in the realisation they were "a real family" now, or if it was just the pre-teenage hormones that Brittany had warned her about. Or maybe simply that she just didn't like school anymore. But Santana smiled as she saw Mila running towards the car, seemingly in a better mood now that it was the weekend.
"Hi Mija, how was your day?" Santana asked cheerily, Mila's own enthusiasm reflecting off her.
"Hi Mama, it was okay thank you" Mila responded politely, as she climbed into the backseat and buckled herself in "What are we going to do this weekend?"
"Well, you're with dad this weekend remember? We switched your weekends around since you got sick last week. He's coming in around an hour, so we have to get home and get your stuff packed" said Santana, as she reversed out of the parking lot.
She caught sight of Mila's face in the mirror as it dropped, all traces of happiness now gone.
"Moo, are you okay?" Santana asked warily, as she watched her through the rear-view mirror.
"I just forget I was going with dad this weekend that's all" Mila shrugged "I wanted to spend the weekend with you".
That tugged on Santana's heartstrings a lot.
"Oh baby, I want to spend the weekend with you too. I would spend every weekend with you if I could, but you haven't seen your dad in a few weeks now, I think he'd really like to spend some time with you" she said gently.
She really hated this damn custody agreement at times, especially when Puck was so flippant with it. If he ever cancelled or changed dates around it was "okay", but if Santana didn't keep up to their twice monthly agreement, Puck could take her to court. There was no way she could go through that again, and risk Puck gaining even more access.
"But we have all next weekend to have fun, don't we? Me, you and Aunty Brit in New York, we'll have a blast!" Santana tried, hoping to brighten Mila's mood, and to Santana's satisfaction it seemed to work a little bit as her daughter's eyes sparkled at the mention of New York.
The rest of the car ride home was silent. Santana had tried to strike up conversation with her daughter, but she was being met with one-word answers and shrugs, so in the end she had given up. She felt guilty, in case Mila felt as if she was being palmed off, when that wasn't the case at all. Mila had always seemed to enjoy time with Puck, but recently she had seemed more reluctant about going. As Mila plodded upstairs, Santana caught her hand to stop her.
"Hey" Santana said softly, as the little girl turned around to look at her "You know I love you, don't you?"
Mila nodded.
"Well, don't you ever forget it!" Santana booped her nose, causing Mila to giggle, her face scrunching the same way Santana's did "I'm really sorry we can't be with each other every weekend sweetheart. If I had my way, we would be, I promise. When you're older, you'll understand. But I also want you to know that your dad loves you too, okay? I know sometimes he can let you down like with your party, but he does love you and he loves to spend time with you. We all love spending time with you, that's the thing. There's just not enough Mila to go around. I'm sure if your dad could have you with him all the time, he would, just like I'd have you with me the whole time if I could".
"I don't wanna be with dad the whole time" Mila said, voice high and eyes wide, and Santana felt instantly guilty that she had evoked a hard memory for Mila with the custody battle.
"No, no, of course not darling. That's not what I'm saying. You're never going to be with dad the whole time, you'll always be with me, but sometimes I have to share you with him too that's all". Mila relaxed slightly at her mother's comforting touch as she stroked her hair.
"But I thought me you and Aunty Brit were a family now, so why do I need a dad too?"
"Oh Moo, we are a family. Of course we are. But families come in all different shapes and sizes, you know that. So even though we're a family, you can still have a dad and all these other people in your life that love you. The more the better, right?"
"I guess…" Mila shrugged.
"Come on" Santana said, holding out her hand for Mila to take "Let's go and pack your stuff. I bet once you get there, you'll have a great time with your dad, you're just feeling a little nervous because you haven't seen him for a few weeks".
Mila said nothing but allowed Santana to lead her upstairs and they began packing her stuff.
"Don't forget your ballet shoes, you have dance tomorrow morning" Santana reminded her, and Mila sighed.
"What's the point? Dad will probably forget to take me again".
"What do you mean forget to take you?"
"Last time he forgot, even though I told him three times. He slept too long then he said it was too late to go. Then the next lesson I had to work hard to catch up because I had my tap exam".
Santana felt her shoulder tense at this. Puck knew Mila had dance every Saturday morning. Not only was it really important to her and something she loved to do, but it was also something she was highly skilled at. At her level, she was taking exams and competing a lot, and one lesson could make all the difference in how she did. Of course, to Santana, she didn't care if Mila came 1st or last, she wasn't the pushy type and she just wanted Mila to be happy. But she knew how seriously her daughter took dance, and how upset she would be to miss a lesson. She had even cried last week at the prospect of no dance when she was sick, and if it was up to Mila she would have battled through and gone still. Missing a lesson because "she forgot" would never be something that happened under Santana's care, and it riled Santana that Puck couldn't get his act together more and remember one simple thing.
"Don't worry sweetheart, that won't be happening again" Santana said determinedly, making a mental note to have firm words with Puck later when Mila was out of earshot.
With Mila sent off to Puck's with the biggest squeeze from Santana and having given Puck an earful about forgetting their daughter's dance class and a firm Snixx warning not to do it again, Santana spent her Friday evening the same way she did the previous Friday. Watching Tiger King with wine and trying her best to stay awake for when Brittany called. Brittany hated calling so late, in case she woke Santana, especially because Friday was always the day when Santana was most tired after the long week, but Santana had made her promise to call no matter what. She didn't care if Brittany woke her, she just wanted to hear her voice.
As suspected, when Brittany called, Santana was already fast asleep in bed having given in to her tiredness a little before 11pm. But Santana answered within three rings, her eyes still firmly squeezed shut.
"Brit?" she mumbled, too tired to even check the screen to see who was calling, but certain it was her girlfriend.
"Yeah baby, it's me. I'm just heading home now. Did I wake you? I told you I shouldn't call so late…I'll let you go".
"No, don't. Stay with me. I've been waiting to hear your voice all day" Santana insisted, voice thick with sleep as Brittany's heart melted both at her words and at the tiredness in her voice. "Did you get a cab? You know I don't like you walking or taking the subway this late"
"Yes, I got a cab, I'm okay. But you're so tired honey, why do you fight it? Please let me go so I can let you get some sleep".
"I won't sleep well until I know you're home safe. And besides, I always sleep better when you're by my side. So, I want you to stay on the phone so I can hear you're safe, then when you get there turn FaceTime on, and we can just sleep".
"I can do that. But at least shut your eyes and relax again. I'm right here and I'll stay on the phone all night, but you gotta get some sleep".
"Okay but just, talk to me so I know you're there. Tell me about your day, anything. Just let me fall asleep listening to you"
And Brittany did just that, she talked about her day as Santana snuggled into her phone with a smile on her face. When she heard Brittany pay the cab driver and enter her apartment she relaxed even more. Brittany switched on FaceTime as she pottered around and got settled for bed, and she kept on talking, even though she could tell by Santana's breathing that she was in the light stages of sleep by now.
When Brittany was finally ready for bed, she did the same as Santana, and cuddled into the phone, but not before placing a soft kiss on Santana's sleeping face on the screen. She let out a sigh, this long-distance lark was incredibly tough, but Santana was right. Sleeping next to each other even if only through a phone, and their sleep-laced conversations, made things a lot easier.
Saturday
Santana unpacked the shopping with a sigh, it had been a long day, and she was more than pleased about Quinn coming over later for a wine night. It was much needed. She had spent most of the day at her abuela's and felt a little drained.
She had used the time to tell her grandmother about her relationship with Brittany, grateful that these conversations came easier now that Alma had somewhat accepted Santana's sexuality. The key word being somewhat.
Alma had smiled when Santana told her all about Dani, but it took 2 years for her to include Dani's name on the Christmas card, and Santana noted that she would always introduce her as "Santana's friend".
Alma had smiled again when Santana told her she was dating Brittany, and that things were pretty serious between them. She had even managed a "Ah- Brittany is a lovely girl, I have always been fond of her", but later on in the afternoon when they had gone to the store together for Alma to get her shopping in, Santana had found herself smiling at the baby in front of her as they waited in line to pay.
"You are still so young Santana. There is always time for you to find a husband and have more children" Alma had smiled gently, and Santana had sighed.
It was tiresome for her to have to explain to her grandmother that she wasn't going to change. She was never going to marry a man, but she could still get married and have children, just with a woman instead. With Brittany.
She figured that Alma's delusion was much better than the outright rejection she had faced before though. It was baby steps. Maybe Alma would never fully understand, and Santana would just have to live with that. She felt guilty when she reflected on the fact her girlfriend had it a lot worse. Her relationship with her parents had been seemingly strained and awkward over the past couple of weeks, and despite Santana's best efforts, it had been something Brittany was reluctant to talk about. She would pretend that everything was fine and that she was busy with work anyway, but Santana knew that really, she was hurting. Brittany had always been close with her family, and now there was a thick, unresolved tension hanging in the air.
Her thoughts were broken by the blonde in her thoughts sending her a text message, as her phone pinged three times in a row.
From: Brittany
Quick coffee break! Been so hectic today, can't wait for a half day Wednesday! How's your day baby?
From: Brittany
IMG_0545 SENT
From: Brittany
She makes my day. I miss you both so much, you have no idea.
Santana smiled at the photo of Mila that Brittany had sent, a close-up selfie of herself at dance class, that she had apparently taken with her iPad and sent to Brittany. Santana had gone against what she usually did, and let Mila take the iPad to Puck's for the weekend, to ease some of the upset she felt about going.
She quickly typed back her response so she could share a stolen 5 minutes with her girlfriend, a soft smile planted on her face, as often the case whenever she thought about the blonde.
Later that evening, Santana was in the company of a certain other blonde that she loved, and by now they were a few wine's deep and sharing many a laugh.
"I really needed this tonight, thanks Q!" Santana smiled gratefully, dabbing at her eyes slightly, because she had laughed so much at Quinn that she genuinely had tears.
"The pleasure is always mine!" Quinn winked "Long week then?"
"When is it ever not long?" Santana laughed, casting a thought to how chaotic life was nowadays. Full time mom, full time job, having to spread herself thin by being there for her elderly grandmother, her recently widowed mom and of course making time for her equally busy girlfriend. She felt like she barely had time for herself anymore, so nights like this were a rarity and much needed. She had underestimated the effects of Dani moving out and how it had increased her workload.
Quinn nodded in agreement, as Santana continued.
"I just miss Brit a lot, that's all. I miss the intimacy of actually having someone to do life with. When she's here, everything is just perfect. But when she's not here it's like I'm in limbo, counting the days until I see her again. I want with Brit what I got to have with Dani."
"You shouldn't compare San" Quinn said gently "I mean you're way happier with Brittany, right?"
"Oh of course!" Santana nodded firmly "That's not what I was saying. I wouldn't trade my snatched moments with Brittany for anything in the world, but I just wish we could be together all of the time. I don't want our relationship to just be "exciting trips to see each other", I want all the normal things. I want to wake up to her on a morning and fall asleep with her every night. I want the bickering about what we should eat for dinner, the mundane grocery shops and to come home to her every day and get to tell her about my day in person. That's what we're missing".
Santana blushed slightly at her own rambles, realising the wine was probably having an effect, but Quinn seemed to understand.
"Well, you're only early days. Who knows what the future together is going to look like? Maybe you should talk to her about it, I'm sure she feels the same way and would rather you were in the same place".
"I guess so" Santana shrugged "But her career is in New York. And my life is here. What with my mom, and my abuela, and Mila in school, I'm kind of tied here now".
"Nobody said it was going to be easy San" Quinn smiled sympathetically "Long distance sucks"
"No, you're right" Santana sighed, taking a long sip of her wine "But I'd rather do hard with her than easy with anyone else. Anyway…enough about me. What's the latest on you and Mr Hudson?"
Quinn rolled her eyes slightly with a coy smile and shuffled in her seat.
"Quinn Fabray, I have never seen you like this about any guy ever" Santana teased.
"Okay, you tell no one of this" Quinn warned lightly, as Santana continued to laugh.
"So come on, spill! What's the deal!? Are you guys official yet?"
"Official!? No!" Quinn scoffed nervously, but Santana looked at her knowingly. She knew her best friend, and she knew this was more than anything she'd ever had before.
"It's not a big deal, but we're going to New York together next week for 5 days"
Santana clapped her hands in excitement.
"I knew it! I knew this was heading in a serious direction. You're going on vacation together, it's only a matter of time before you're official, then before you know it, you're married, couple kids running around"
"Okay, stop!" Quinn laughed "That is not happening. I don't even think I want kids, and marriage? Ew. No"
"Ever the commitment phobe" Santana raised her eyebrows "No, no look, I gotta be honest, I really like this pairing"
Quinn cringed in her seat, and Santana thought she should maybe offer her a reprieve, so she stopped her teasing.
"Mila and I are headed to New York next weekend, so maybe we'll see you there"
"Oooh yeah, maybe!"
"That's if you make it outside the hotel at all" Santana winked. There was only so long she could stop her teasing for, but deep down she was happy that her non-committal best friend seemed to have found love.
Later that night, both girls were more than a little worse for wear. It was long past midnight and several empty wine bottles were littered around them, the music was blaring, and Santana could only prepare for the impending battle with her neighbours the next morning. They were midway through an impromptu performance of I Say A Little Prayer by Aretha Franklin when the speaker cut off much to Quinn's disdain. But as soon as Santana saw the reason it had cut off, her eyes lit up and she rushed towards the phone.
"Baby, hi! How are you? I miss you. I wish you were here" she slurred through the phone
Quinn laughed softly and flopped back on the couch with her eyes closed, her head spinning from all the alcohol.
"Santana how much have you had to drink? You sound extremely intoxicated." Brittany laughed.
"Only a little bit baby but I am intoxicated. Intoxicated by youuuuu"
"Santana, gross! If you two are going to start having phone sex or something, I'm totally going to bed" Quinn laughed, throwing a cushion at Santana.
"Heyyyy" Santana yelled, as soon as the cushion hit her "Britt, Quinn is pummelling me with cushions. I'm gonna need you to get your ass to Lima and come and protect me"
Brittany simply giggled at her incoherent and adorable girlfriend.
"What you mean like all the times in High School when I protected you during Dodgeball games? You'd scream like a little girl, and I'd always pick you up"
"Oh, you certainly knew how to pick me up alright" Santana raised her eyebrow.
Slightly concerned the conversation was going to head somewhere it shouldn't when she was in the company of a 50-something-year-old bored looking taxi driver, Brittany changed the subject quickly.
"Did you have a fun night with Quinn, honey?"
"I did" Santana smiled honestly, before turning to observe Quinn who had seemingly fallen asleep on the couch "But I can think of some ways I could have even more fun with you"
Brittany swallowed at Santana's raspy tone, as Santana headed up to her bedroom, quickly discarding of her clothes, leaving nothing but her underwear.
"Tell me what you're wearing, baby?" Santana toyed, her voice oozing sex and making the hairs on the back of Brittany's neck stand on end. She may have been drunk as hell, but she was also still hot as hell.
"San, I'm in the cab" Brittany hissed quietly, glancing nervously at the driver to check he couldn't hear any of this.
"You wanna know what I'm wearing?" Santana continued, not letting up.
"What?" Brittany swallowed; her mouth extremely dry.
"Only your favourite pair of underwear. You know the red lacy ones that leave very little to the imagination?"
"Yep I…I know the ones" Brittany stuttered. Santana was driving her crazy, and she was increasingly aware of the fact that a) she was very turned on and b) was in public.
"Mm-hm" Santana purred, as she thumbed around the panties in question "But you know what Brit? I happen to think that as appealing as they are to you, they're actually a little itchy, so maybe I should just…take them off"
By now Brittany was sweating, as she imagined her drunk girlfriend writhing around on the bed in her favourite underwear, she needed this cab driver to get her home. Fast. Then Santana let out a moan that caused Brittany to bite her lip, her own pang of arousal shooting through her.
"Santana are you…are you touching yourself?" she whispered, keeping a cautious eye on the cab driver.
"What do you think?" Santana continued; her normally dulcet tones were now laced with seduction.
As Santana let out yet another moan, it became too much for Brittany, if she didn't shift the conversation, she was going to end up doing something in this cab that she'd heavily regret. She threw out the first thing she could think of.
"Did you read the latest on the Meghan and Harry drama?"
Brittany cringed internally and sucked a breath in at the sudden awkwardness that swilled around them. She couldn't believe she had turned off their sex phone by mentioning Megxit, of all things. She heard some fumbling from the other end of the phone, but no words came out.
"Babe, are you still there?" She asked nervously.
"Yep. Still here. Just putting on my extra-thick, long, unsexy pyjamas" Santana said bluntly, and Brittany had to remind herself not to take her mood too seriously, because she was clearly very drunk "Way to ruin the mood, babe" she added sarcastically.
"I'm sorry" Brittany whispered "But I told you, I'm in the cab and…you were driving me crazy" she added, lowering her voice even more.
More silence.
"Don't be mad at me" Brittany pleaded.
"I'm not, I'm just tired that's all. I should get some sleep"
"I'll be home in ten minutes; we could always continue this then?" Brittany suggested.
"The moods gone now to be honest Brit" Santana sighed.
"Oh, okay then, well I'll let you go. Have a good sleep, and if you can take two painkillers before you go to bed, do it. It'll help the head in the morning" Brittany offered, trying her best not to sound disheartened.
Santana instantly felt guilty, she knew that alcohol was clouding her judgement, and that she was being unnecessarily short with her. She just missed being close with her like that.
"No babe, stay. You know I won't sleep well until I know you're home safe so, at least stay on the phone until then" Santana said, her bluntness lifting, as the relief flooded through Brittany.
So, Brittany did just that, and she talked to her about her day all the way home, because she knew Santana liked that. And just as had been the case on the previous night, by the time Brittany was home safe, Santana was fast asleep. Once more, Brittany snuggled up to the cold, hard phone, savouring in the fact it was the only way she could sleep next to her girlfriend right now.
Sunday
The next morning, Santana was woken by the harsh light of the sun, and she squinted against it. Her head was killing her, and she cursed herself for not taking Brittany's advice and taking some painkillers before bed. Not only that, but it also felt like she had literally swallowed sand, her mouth was that dry.
When she found the strength, she grabbed her phone, her eyes squinting once more from the bright lights of the screen as she put her glasses on to read it.
She had 6 messages. 3 were from Mila, which she responded to immediately, 1 from her mother asking her if she was still coming over today, 1 from Quinn thanking her for the night and saying she'd let herself out because she had work (how the hell was Quinn functioning enough to work today) and 1 from her girlfriend.
From: Brittany
Morning gorgeous, hope you slept well and the hangover's not too bad. I'm really sorry again about last night, hope you're not too mad at me! I'll text you when I've got a break and call you later. Love you!
Santana frowned. What was Brittany apologising for? Then it all hit her. Her drunken behaviour last night. Poor Britt having to put up with that. Suddenly she felt her bruised ego hurting even more than her head, and she quickly tapped out a reply.
From: Santana
Babe, please don't apologise! You have nothing to be sorry for. It was all me, being a drunken horny idiot. Remind me to never, ever let Quinn convince me to open up a third bottle of wine. I'm paying for it now, with both my ego and my head. I'm going to my Mom's today, then Mila is back home tonight. Speak to you later, love you too xxx
Not wanting to leave her mom waiting too much longer, Santana reluctantly hauled herself out of the bed. Usually, she would just take a quick shower, but by the way she was feeling she knew she needed more than that, so she ran herself a hot bubble bath with the hope it would make her feel more human.
As she sank bank into the warm water, her mind naturally drifted to her girlfriend, as it often did. She sure had been a drunken pest last night, but she really did miss intimacy with her girlfriend. A mischievous smile flitted across her face, and she snapped a photo of herself in the bath, bubbles barely covering the areas she was sure Brittany would most desire to see.
To: Brittany
IMG_5456
Wish you were here baby x
She looked at her phone, willing Brittany to respond, even though she knew Brittany was at work and couldn't.
"Just five more days Santana" she told herself "five more days".
It had taken a lot of coffee after her bath to pull Santana around to the point she was able to sit vertical at her mom's table. She made sure to visit Maribel at least once a week, and where she could she'd always visit more, but sometimes that was easier said than done. Especially since Dani left, it was so hard juggling everything now she was on her own.
Santana did at least make sure she called her several times a day though.
"You look tired Mija" Maribel noted, taking in her daughter's appearance, the bags under her eyes prominent.
"I feel it" Santana agreed, stifling a yawn "Sorry Mom, I had a late night with Quinn last night just letting off some steam, it was needed".
"I'm glad you did that Santanita. You know I'm always saying you need to take time away from being a mom. We all need to find ways to relax and just enjoy ourselves. You always seem so tired though lately."
"I am" Santana nodded "Between being a single mom, making sure the house is clean, taking Mila to dance class, running errands for Abuela…I feel like I rarely have time to just sit and relax. I'm always on the go lately, and I've been trying to pick up extra hours at work to help with the mortgage ever since Dani left"
"Mija, if you need money, you only ever have to say…"
"No" Santana raised her hand firmly, her pride shining through "Mami, I don't need your money. I'm okay honestly, the extra hours are helping"
Maribel looked at her daughter uncertainly, but Santana continued.
"Seriously, you've done a lot for Mila and I, and we're so grateful for that. But I'm fine on my own with this, I promise".
Maribel smiled as her daughter gratefully squeezed her hand.
"Just as long as you know that you only ever have to ask if you're struggling. It shouldn't be too much longer now until your Papi's money comes through anyway. Although you did say you were potentially going to use that to go back to school…"
"Yeah, I did" Santana sighed "But whether or not that will actually happen, I'm not sure. I'd love to but, in reality, it's going to be hard work going back to school now when Mila is still young. I wanna make sure I'm there for her growing up, not stuck with my head in a book. Maybe when she's older".
"Santana, you're forgetting how well I know you. You're scared to do it so you're deflecting and making excuses. But you are more than capable of going back to school and achieving what you always wanted to. Your baby girl is growing up fast, she'll always need you, but she's not a baby anymore Mija. She doesn't need your undivided attention".
Santana offered a slight smile, as she let her mom's words sink in.
"Don't be afraid to chase your dreams Santana. It's all your Papi ever wanted for you"
"Thanks Mom" Santana smiled, offering Maribel another grateful squeeze of the hand.
"Plus, I was thinking…you might have less on your plate in the near future. I know right now it feels like you're being pulled in every direction, and ever since your Papi passed you've been a rock to me, but...the truth is Santana; you should be getting on with your own life. You're so busy all the time, and I see how you try and make things work to be here for me all the time, to make sure I'm not alone. But I worry that it's having an effect on you. I won't be a burden to my own children…"
"Mami, you could never be a burden!" Santana protested sternly.
"I know, I knew you'd say that. But I know you, and I know you spend too much time worrying about me. I can hear the guilt in your voice if you can't visit as much one week. I can see how you stress about every little upcoming milestone, how you're going to compensate for the first birthday, the first anniversary. But that shouldn't fall on you"
"I'm your daughter and I love you, of course I'm going to be there for you. Family is the most important thing for me, and we need to get through this together".
Maribel sighed, she really didn't want to have to admit what she was about to, because she knew it would hurt Santana and that she would only blame herself.
"I'm lonely Mija" she admitted, and she felt instantly guilty as she saw the hurt flash in Santana's eyes "But that's not your fault. I was supposed to be travelling around Europe right now, I thought for the time being I was finished with Lima. All this with your dad, it's just made me realise that maybe I should chase my dream, before it's too late"
By now Santana was in panic mode. All she had heard in everything Maribel said was the part about her being lonely, and she wanted to fix that.
"Okay, listen, you can move in with me. We have the space, you can have the biggest room with the en-suite and I'll switch, I always preferred the other bedroom anyway. Mila will love having you there the whole time, and I'll really appreciate the extra company too, and…"
"Santana, sweetheart, shh calm down" Maribel hushed gently "I appreciate that a lot, I really do, but I can't do that. You have your own life, you're in a new relationship, you don't want me cramping your style. This is more than that for me. I think I need to get out of Lima, do something I've always wanted to do"
"And what's that?"
"I'm thinking of moving to Cincinnati"
"What!?"
"I've always wanted to live in the big city and to be by the water and visiting Pablo the other week really solidified that. I think I could be really happy there".
"But you can't be happy here with me, with your granddaughter?" Santana asked, unable to hide her shock and hurt.
"Of course, you and my bebita make me so, so happy. You bring me so much joy. But when you're not around I just feel like I'm counting down the days until I next see you. I'm not living anymore. I just exist, and I need to get some elements of my life back. It's what your father would want, and it's what I want. If his unexpected passing has taught me anything, it's to 'seize the day' and go for your dreams because, you never know when your time is going to be over"
Santana sighed as she listened to Maribel. She understood her completely, because the limbo feeling she was describing was the exact same way she felt when she wasn't with Brittany.
"Plus, your brother has more free time than you do. His Florist business is doing really well, and he can be a lot more flexible. I can spend some time with Sarah too, and when they're busy I have this whole new city to explore and get to know, instead of just sitting here missing your dad"
"So, it is my fault that you're moving" Santana swallowed the lump in her throat and looked down "I've not been there for you enough, and now you feel like you need to move and be near Pablo…"
"No Mija, not at all" Maribel responded, gently lifting Santana by the chin so she'd look at her again "you have been amazing, and I don't know how I would have gotten through the past 6 months without you. Yes, I feel lonely here, but it's deeper than what you think. Even if you and Mila were around here every day, I'd probably still feel the same way. Wherever I go in Lima now, I'm just reminded of all the memories shared with your Papi. I just…need a fresh start. Do you understand?"
Santana nodded, and though she still felt guilty, she did get it. She was going to ask about her abuela, but she knew Alma was well looked after by her other children and her grandchildren, it wasn't like she relied on Maribel.
"I'm not going yet, there are still things to sort out. And when I do go, I'll be back all the time to visit you and Mila and Abuela, and you can all come visit me. It's only two hours away".
"Just as long as you're happy, Mom" Santana said sincerely.
"I will get there Mija, I think doing this is going to make me happy, now come here and give your Mami a hug"
Santana fell into her mother's arms, grateful of the comfort, her eyes closing as she appreciated the embrace.
"Just one more thing" Maribel whispered, "Make sure you follow your dreams and start living your life for you too, don't do what your father and I did and leave it too late".
And as always, Santana listened to her mom's wise words, and of course she thought about Brittany and the fact she wasn't living the life with her that she truly wanted. She knew what she wanted; she just didn't know how to get there.
After spending the day with her mom, Santana returned home around dinner time, waiting for Puck to drop Mila back home. She couldn't deny she was feeling a little down still about her mom moving, like she had let her down in some way, despite Maribel protesting otherwise. Her phone ringing took her out of her thoughts, and she was surprised to see it was Brittany. It was only 6pm, and she never called at this time.
"Hey babe, did you get an extra break?"
"Nope I actually got an early finish, we're on track so, Kurt decided we should all take the evening off"
"That's awesome! You could really do with the break. Tell me about your day?"
"Later San. Right now, I want us to do something else" Brittany said, before lowering her voice "I got your photo earlier…"
"What photo?" Santana frowned.
"You know" Brittany let out a raspy laugh "the one of you in the bath"
"Oh!" Santana said, remembering the photo from earlier. She had forgotten all about that until now.
"Well, I happen to be in a bath of my own right now..." Brittany purred seductively.
Santana swallowed uneasily. She felt awful for it, but she really wasn't feeling this right now. She'd sent that photo to Brittany hours ago, and since then had found out about her mom moving out of town, which had really put a dampener on her mood.
"Brit sorry I... I'm not in the mood right now"
She heard some shuffling at the other end of the phone, before Brittany's concerned voice came through the speaker.
"Is everything okay?"
"It's just been a long day. I don't have time to go into everything right now because Puck is on his way to drop Mila home, but I'll call you later when she's in bed and tell you everything then."
"Oh yeah course, that's fine! As long as you're okay though?" said Brittany, trying not to sound too disappointed.
"I'll be fine. I should go though, Puck just got here" said Santana, glancing out the window to see Puck's car pull up.
"Okay. I could probably do with going too actually. I said I'd meet Denver tonight, go over some of the things for the annulment. He just wants me to be fully prepped in case it ends up going to court. Send my love to Moo, and don't forget to call me later"
"I won't babe"
"And San?"
"Yeah?"
"Love you" Brittany said simply, sensing that her girlfriend was somewhat deflated and feeling bad she couldn't be there.
"Love you too, Brit" Santana sighed, managing a slight smile.
Monday
Santana had felt better Sunday evening when she had gotten around to calling Brittany back, after putting Mila to bed. She told her everything about her mom and the move and how she thought it was her fault, and of course just as Maribel did, Brittany assured her otherwise. It always made her feel better when she spoke to her girlfriend, and she was counting down the days to seeing her.
It was hard to keep quite so upbeat the next day when Mila was in such a bad mood. It was becoming quite the occurrence on a Monday morning now, where Mila would act up like this all because she suddenly didn't like school anymore. She'd raised her concerns with Maribel the day before, who was convinced it was just a phase, one that Santana herself had been through at around the same age.
"Can't I just say home with you today?" Mila pleaded.
"You've gotta go to school baby. You know this"
"Yes but..."
"No. No buts Mila" Santana said sternly, and the little girl looked down and pouted.
"What is it Meels? Is something bothering you at school that's making you not like it anymore? Is the work too hard? Are people picking on you?" Santana asked softly, squeezing Mila's hand as she waited nervously for an answer.
Mila shook her head.
"I just wanted to spend the day with you, because I haven't seen you all weekend. That's all".
"Oh sweetheart, and I would love to spend the day with you too, you know I would. But school is important, and I have to go to work. But we have the weekend coming up don't we? We'll have lots of fun then".
Mila nodded, but still looked uncertain.
"Come on, go upstairs and brush your teeth. Before you know it, it'll be Friday and we'll be on that plane to New York ready for a great weekend with Aunty Brit".
The little girl did as she was asked, and Santana let out a sigh. She hated feeling like she was being cruel, but what else could she do in this situation?
She sifted through the letters while she waited for Mila to come back downstairs, nothing exciting, just bills, bills and more bills.
What concerned Santana, was how many of these bills were turning into the angry type with bold red writing saying, "Final Notice". She had lied to her mom when she said she was okay for money, even with the extra money, she was struggling to keep her head above water now she was on her own. She knew her mom would be happy to help, she knew her girlfriend would be too, but Santana wasn't going to tell either of them. This was her problem, her mess, and her responsibility to find a way out of it.
"Ready Mama!" said Mila, breaking Santana out from her thoughts.
"Okay good, let's get going!" Santana said enthusiastically, stuffing the letters in the draw, where all the other letters were collecting. She'd deal with them another day.
Tuesday
Santana straightened her shirt nervously as she headed towards Steve Brooks' office. Steve was the director at the legal firm she worked at, the big dog. He was always extremely busy, so if he asked to see you, it meant something important, so Santana was worried. What if she was about to lose her job in a time where she was already struggling to make ends meet? She was a great worker, had been here a long time, and saw no reason as to why she'd lose her job, but she was also aware redundancies could happen and that if they were to happen, she was at the very bottom of the food chain and likely to go first. Easily disposable.
When she arrived, she was surprised to see Mr Brook's office door already ajar. She knocked politely and poked her head in.
"Mr Brooks, you wanted to see me?"
"Ah yes, Santana, do come in. And shut the door behind you please"
Santana swallowed nervously, as she took a seat in front of the man who held all the power.
"When I hired you what, 5/6 years ago now? I hired you because I could see ambition in you. You mentioned you wanted to be a Lawyer".
"That's right Mr Brooks"
"And do you still want to be a Lawyer?"
"I would love to, but without a college degree and a ticket to Law School, it's pretty hard to actually get there" Santana replied truthfully.
"Do you feel that working here has enabled you to progress towards that career path?"
"Oh, absolutely!" said Santana, mindful that she wanted to come across grateful "even though what I do is largely administrative, I get to see how everything works and fits together".
"Well, we want to give you a bit more than that" Steve explained "There's a Paralegal role coming up. We haven't advertised it yet, because I wanted to give you the heads up first. It sits under Priya Khan, and if you were to go for the role and be successful, you'd have the opportunity to take on your own small caseload and work solely with Priya on more streamlined legal matters, as opposed to what you're doing now where you're spread across the whole team, but the work is purely administrative".
"That sounds great!" Santana enthused.
"There will be a salary increase involved, and it may mean longer hours at times, but I'm aware you're doing that anyway at the moment and taking your work home with you. I'm going to be honest Santana, usually we would offer the position to someone with a stronger educational background. The market is so competitive at the moment, so generally we'd look for applicants to be OSBA certified or to have a college degree, but you've always been an asset to the team, and we'd like to do something that gets you forward in your career path".
Santana could barely contain her excitement. A step towards what she actually wanted to do for a career without having to go back to school, and a salary increase.
"Oh, thank you so much Mr Brooks, the role sounds awesome! I won't let you down, I swear".
"Just to be clear you will still have to go through all the official channels and apply formally. We'll advertise externally and internally, but we're extremely confident in your ability to secure the position".
"I understand. Thank you again for thinking of me, and for giving me the heads up!"
"Don't thank me, this was all Priya's idea. She saw great potential in you, and she suggested that we try you out for the role".
Santana raised her eyebrows in surprise. She hadn't had much to do with the new Lawyer, Priya Khan, and anytime she did she felt Priya was rude and slightly full of herself. Now she felt bad for having this misconception of her.
"Now what I'm going to suggest Santana, is that we do a bit of a trial run this week. I'm going to relieve you of your normal duties, and have you assist Priya instead. She has a tight deadline to meet Friday for one of her cases, so I want you to help her with that and we'll see how you get on. If you can prove you're up to the challenge, there's a high chance you'll be favourable candidate for the Paralegal position when it comes around to applying. Think you're up to it?"
"Yes sir!" Santana smiled, eyes shining with enthusiasm. She had to get this role, and she was about to do everything in her power to make sure of it.
It had been a busy morning at work, and Santana was really enjoying herself learning from Priya and getting to assist on the case she was working on, even if it was just a small one. It made her feel important, and like she was actually getting somewhere rather than just doing the same thing day in, day out.
Priya was actually really nice under her tough, no-nonsense Lawyer demeanour, and Santana felt bad for judging her and getting her so wrong.
Santana had even worked through her lunch break today, to show how committed and hard-working she was. Priya had just returned from her own lunch break, impressed by Santana's willingness to work through and seizing the opportunity to take a break if Santana was going to hold the fort, something she rarely got chance to do. She was just about to ask Santana how she was getting on, when Santana's phone started vibrating loudly, causing the Latina to blush.
"I'm so sorry!" said Santana, pulling out her phone to silence it, but on doing so she realised it was Mila's school. "Actually...it's my daughters' school, do you mind if I take this?"
"Go ahead!" Priya smiled kindly, earning a grateful smile back from Santana. As Priya settled down at her desk and started shuffling through paperwork, Santana quickly answered the call.
"Santana speaking" she said into the handset.
"Miss Lopez, hi! This is Mrs Endersby calling from your daughter's school. I'm afraid Mila's had a bit of an incident, and we're going to need you to come and collect her".
Santana immediately froze.
"An incident? What kind of incident?"
"She's taken quite a nasty fall in her lunch break, the school nurse is with her just now, but if you can get here as soon as possible because we're not sure if she might need further medical attention".
"I'll be there as quick as I can!" Santana breathed, hanging up the phone and turning apologetically towards Priya. She knew this didn't look great on her first day working with her, and this job was so important to her, but first and foremost she was a mom.
"Go! I heard everything. Don't worry about anything here, you've been great today" Priya assured.
"I'm so sorry, this won't happen again"
"I understand Santana. I'm a mother too, I have an 18-month-old. Go and collect your daughter, we can resume here tomorrow. Just be here bright and early".
Santana quickly thanked Priya again and rushed out the building towards her car. She was headed in the direction of Mila's school, when they called again. She navigated the Bluetooth speaker system and took the call.
"Hello?"
"Sorry Miss Lopez, we've had to send Mila to hospital. Her injuries are worse than we thought. Can you meet there instead?"
Santana's blood ran cold thinking about her baby.
"I'm on my way!" she said, grip tightening on the steering wheel as she turned the car in the other direction and sped off towards the hospital.
"Hi- my daughter, she just got here. Mila Grace Lopez, March 4th 2009 is her date of birth..." Santana began quickly, breathless from the way she had ran all the way from the car.
The receptionist raised her hand to try and calm the frantic Latina, but before she could respond a teacher from Mila's school appeared.
"Miss Lopez? I'm Miss Collins one of the Teaching Assistants at Mila's school, I travelled here with her, if you come with me, I'll explain everything".
As they walked down the corridor, the young Teaching Assistant began filling Santana in.
"She took a fall on her lunch break, fell down quite badly on her ankle. She has a nasty cut on her arm from where she tried to protect herself from the fall, and we thought it might need stitches, but the nurse seems to think it looks nastier than it actually is. Her ankle is a bit more of a concern though, she was in a lot of pain and said she heard a crack, so we're worried it could be broken. She's in X-Ray right now, they don't let anyone in the room with her for that, but she's in good hands".
Santana rubbed circles on her temples to calm herself. As a dancer, Mila had always been relatively lucky when it came to injuries, but a broken ankle could have big repercussions and Santana knew that would kill Mila to have to give up what she loved. She could only hope it was a clean break, and easily fixed, or better still just a sprain.
"Was she upset?" Santana asked, the thought of her daughter in pain without her being enough to bring tears to her eyes.
"She was pretty hysterical at first, but she calmed down a bit when she knew you were on the way. I think what was upsetting her most is that she doesn't want to miss any dancing. She was telling us all about the competitions she has coming up. But she's young and agile, I'm sure she'll bounce back just fine".
"Well thank you for being with her, and getting her here so quickly"
"That's okay, it's all part of my job. I should really get back now though; will you be okay here?"
"Yeah, I got it from here. Thank you again" Santana smiled.
After saying her goodbyes to Miss Collins, Santana sat down and nervously waited for her daughter to come out of her X-Ray, pulling out her phone to fill Brittany in.
To: Brittany
Mila fell down at school, we're in the ER! x
Not 5 minutes later, Brittany was calling her, and Santana felt bad that she had clearly panicked Brittany enough to pull her away from her busy day at work.
"Hey baby"
"Is Mila okay? Is she hurt bad? What happened?"
"It's okay Brit, calm down. She's going to be fine. She had a bad fall at school and went over on her ankle. It looks like it might be broken, I'm just waiting for her to come out of X-Ray now".
"Oh, my poor little angel. Are you okay? You must have been worried sick when the school called and told you that". Brittany noted, knowing all too well how Santana panicked.
"I'll be a lot better when I see her. She shouldn't be too long now" Santana sighed "I just really hope this doesn't affect her dancing; you know? I'm praying that it's just a sprain rather than a break, that'll be better right?"
"Not always honey. Sometimes a sprain can actually be worse. Depending on how it's broken they can heal quite nicely, but with a sprain if the ligaments are damaged, that can cause permanent weakness".
"Oh God Brit, if she has to give up dance, she's going to be devastated. It'll break her heart".
"Let's not worry about that right now until we know what we're dealing with. Dancers injure themselves all the time and bounce right back. We'll know better when we have the X-Ray. Can you do me a favour and send me a photo when you get them, so that I can take a look? The doctors are the experts medically, but they don't always know what's best from a dance perspective. I want to make sure we don't cut any corners".
"Sure, that would make me feel so much better if you looked over them" Santana admitted "I just wish my dad was still here".
"I know you do sweetie" Brittany sympathised "San, I'm really, really sorry but I'm going to have to go okay? I just took 5 minutes as soon as I saw the word ER, but I've got so much on today, and if we don't get it done, we'll lose the half day off tomorrow".
"Of course, you go do what you need to do, and thank you for calling even though you're so busy".
"Always. You two are my priority, I've told you this. I'll make sure I have my phone on me, so keep me updated and text me those X-Rays as soon as you get them. Give Moo a big kiss and a cuddle from me".
Another long 10 minutes went by before the nurse appeared and told Santana that Mila was back from her X-Ray and was being taken to a ward until a doctor would talk through the results.
When she got to the ward and saw Mila sitting in the bed with her leg propped up and her eyes all teary, Santana's heart broke. The nurse pulled the curtain around them for some privacy and left them to it.
"Mama!" Mila cried out as soon as she caught sight of her mother, tears overcoming her again just as she had started to calm down.
"I'm here baby, it's okay" Santana soothed, rushing towards the 11-year-old "I've got you now"
Santana pulled back to look at Mila's blotchy face, stroking her cheeks with her thumbs.
"The nurse said my ankle might be broken" Mila sniffed, her browns eyes were sad and filled with unshed tears.
"I know sweetheart, but if it is, it's okay. That's why we brought you here, to fix it".
"But what about dance? My competition. Or what if I never get to dance again?" Mila asked, face crumpling all over again
"Shh baby, let's not think about that right now. We don't know what we're dealing with yet until we've spoken with the doctor" Santana said softly, echoing Brittany's earlier words.
"It hurts Mama"
"I know darling" Santana lulled, placing a kiss on top of her daughter's head "I'm going to speak to the nurse, see if she can get you something for the pain. Let me take a look at your arm".
Mila held it up to show her mom, who let out a sympathetic groan before placing a soft kiss on it, careful not to touch the cut.
"What were you doing Moo? Did you trip over something?"
"I was running in the playground" Mila shrugged "I won't run anymore though, I promise"
"It's okay, accidents happen sweetheart. You're a kid, you're supposed to run around and have fun. The main thing is that you're alright, broken bones can always be fixed".
Suddenly the cheery nurse pulled back the curtain and entered the bay they were in.
"Hi nurse, can we get her something for the pain please? Her ankle seems to be hurting her a lot"
"Yes, we're going to sort all that out now for you while you speak to the doctor. If you just want to sit in this chair here for me Mila, and we'll take you both through to the consultant to discuss your X-Ray" said the nurse, helping Mila out of the trolley bed she was in, and into the wheelchair.
After exchanging pleasantries with the consultant, Santana gestured towards the X-Ray's pinned up on the board and asked if it would be okay to send a photo over to Brittany, explaining the situation that Brittany was her girlfriend and about Mila's dancing. The consultant agreed, and pretty much straight away, Brittany had text back.
From: Brittany
Are you talking through it now with the doctor?x
When Santana responded that she was, her phone started ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hey San, I stepped away for 10 minutes, the associates are holding the fort. Put me on speaker please so that I can hear everything the doctor's saying".
Santana's heart was warmed at how once again Brittany had proven she would drop everything for them. She cared so much for them, and it made Santana feel so protected, even if they were at different ends of the country.
"Well first of all, it's not broken, so we don't have to worry about surgery or any of that" the consultant explained.
"Oh, thank God!" Santana let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't even mentioned surgery so not to panic Mila, but she knew it was a possibility, and she was incredibly thankful that this wasn't going to be the case, or that she didn't have to go through the pain of having her bone set back in place.
"It's what we call a Grade 2 sprain, which means there's been some ligament damage, but not a full rupture".
"Grade 2 is good San" Brittany explained, referring solely to the fact it would more than likely mean a full recovery and that Mila wouldn't have to give up dancing.
"What does this mean for her dancing?" Santana asked the consultant, feeling encouraged by Brittany's words.
"Well, she'll be out for 4-6 weeks, but it shouldn't affect her long term. She'll probably experience some weakness at first, but as she gets back into it, the muscle will start to build up again. Where it becomes chronic is when people ignore the advice and don't rest it. Taking 4-6 weeks off it will aid a full recovery, but many sports people or dancers are eager to rush back because they think they're up to it, but then we see them back here months later and the ankle is playing up constantly for them".
"Does this mean I'll miss my competition?" Mila pouted, eyes filling with tears as she looked up at her mom.
"Yes darling, I'm sorry. But you heard what the doctor said. It's better to miss a competition and make a full recovery, than go back too soon and risk hurting it long term".
"The more you stay off the foot, the better it's going to be for you, okay?" the doctor explained to the little girl, who nodded reluctantly, before addressing Santana again as he pointed to the X-Ray "you'll see here that there's a fair amount of swelling, so I want her to stay completely off it over the next couple of days, no school for the rest of the week, keep the foot elevated and well iced".
"We have a trip to New York planned on Friday evening; will she be good for that?"
"Yes, as long as you rest it and keep it elevated until then, she should be fine. You should notice the swelling start to decrease, but nothing too strenuous when you're there. The more we can keep her off the foot, the better. I'm going to give her some crutches, and she should use these for the next 10 days. I'll book a follow up for around 14 days from now, and we can take a look at how it's healing".
"Doctor we'll take the crutches, but can we also get her a boot? I want her to be able to keep walking on it if possible as soon as the swelling's gone down, to keep the strength up as much as we can. A boot should allow her to do that whilst giving her adequate support right?" Brittany asked.
"That's right, we can sort out a boot for her. The nurse is also sorting out some strong pain medication for Mila to take over the next couple of days, when the pain will be at its worst".
The consultant explained everything else he needed to, about the pain meds, the potential side effects and the next follow up, before excusing himself to see another patient while Santana and Mila waited for the nurse to come with the crutches, boot and pain medication.
"Well, that's good news" Santana sighed to Brittany, while ruffling Mila's hair.
"I know, I'm so glad it's a Grade 2 rather than a Grade 3 or a bad break. We'll have her back in that dance studio in no time" said Brittany "Babe I need to go in a minute, will you put Moo on before I go? I just want to speak to her quickly".
"Sure" Santana smiled, before passing the phone over to Mila. Her heart was warmed once more watching the two of them interact. She really couldn't wait to spend some family time at the weekend, even if it meant just spending the whole time in Brittany's apartment where Mila could rest her ankle.
She couldn't help the niggle inside of her though when she thought about Mila being off school for the next three days. Her two usual options for looking after Mila, were out of town. Maribel had gone to Cincinnati again to visit Pablo, and scope the place out some more before her move, and Quinn was in New York by now. Usually, she would take the time off, but she needed to be there this week to help Priya. She needed this pay rise desperately.
She could only hope that Puck would step up and be more a father, less a casual babysitter.
Wednesday
Santana looked at her watch and sighed, it was almost 8am, and she still hadn't heard from Puck after trying him several times last night. He was utterly useless. How could he just ignore his phone like this? What if it was something really urgent about Mila?
She knew time was ticking to find someone to look after Mila, and that pretty soon she was going to have to call into work and admit defeat. Mila was already uneasy last night not knowing where she was going and who was looking after her until morning, proclaiming she just wanted to stay at home.
For a second, Santana considered calling Dani, but she was too stubborn after the way she had acted over Mila's birthday. She knew it was entirely her fault for any bridges burned there. She knew Dani would be more than happy to look after Mila, and Mila would probably be delighted too, but then she figured Dani would probably be working all day and it was too short notice to ask her to just drop everything.
Admitting defeat, she picked up her phone and called work, hoping they would be understanding. After what seemed like forever, she was finally put through to Steve.
"Mr Brooks, Hi, It's Santana"
"Ah hello Santana, how are you this morning?"
"I'm good thank you, but I do have a bit of bad news. You might have heard from Priya yesterday about my daughter. She took a fall at school and she's sprained her ankle, and the doctor has said I need to keep her off school the rest of the week. Problem is there's no one to look after her other than me, and I know that I'm supposed to be helping Priya this week, but my hands are tied here. I'm so sorry to let you down".
"Ah that is unfortunate. Very unfortunate. But what choice do we have? You have parental responsibilities and though I don't have children myself, I understand that".
"Thank you, Mr Brooks, I really appreciate your understanding"
"Of course. I can't discriminate you for having a child, that wouldn't be ethical or lawful. You do understand though, that this will likely affect your chances in securing the Paralegal position. We're going to have to ask one of the other EA's to step in and help Priya, and of course you're welcome to still apply, but you may not have as much running in your favour now".
Santana's heart sank with the disappointment. Up until that point, Steve had been pretty understanding, so she'd hoped it wouldn't affect her in the running for the new role.
"I thought that might be the case, yeah" Santana admitted, trying not to sound as crushed as she was.
"I'm sorry Santana, it's just that I think we need someone who can fully commit to this role. That's why we do trial runs, to allow for issues like this to show themselves. Maybe next time though?"
"Yeah...maybe next time"
Usually, Santana would go all Lima Heights, and rage that her daughter wasn't "an issue" or an experiment in a trial run, but she was so disheartened and worried about keeping her head above water with the influx of bills and overdue payments, that she didn't have any fight left in her.
After hanging up the phone to Steve, she went to go check on Mila, knowing that seeing her daughter would perk her up a bit. When she got to her room, she was surprised to see Mila out of bed already.
"Moo, what are you doing out of bed? You should have called me if you wanted to get up. You know you're not supposed to be on your foot" said Santana, walking over towards the bed to where her sheepish looking daughter was standing.
She frowned as she realised Mila appeared to be hiding something. Half of the blankets were on the floor in a crumpled mess, and when she looked over Mila's shoulder, she saw the sheets were all wet. Mila was clearly trying to hide the mess but wasn't quite managing because of her height.
"Did you spill something?" Santana asked, looking around for a glass on the bedside table, but as Mila bit her lip nervously cheeks flooding crimson, it hit her. No wonder Mila looked like she was hiding something. Santana bent down to Mila's level and gently asked her.
"Sweetheart, did you wet the bed?"
"I'm sorry" Mila admitted tearfully "I was just trying to clean it up before you saw, I was going to put everything in the washing machine..."
Santana cut off her daughter's frantic explanations. She was so like her in that manner, the way she'd ramble on and needed to be calmed.
"It's okay Meels, it's okay. You don't have to be embarrassed or hide this from me" Santana said softly. It broke her heart to think about Mila trying to get everything clean on her own "Is this the first time this has happened?"
Mila nodded, and Santana believed her. She would have known if Mila had been secretly changing the sheets or hiding them.
"Sweetheart, you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about okay? Accidents happen. You're not in any trouble, so please don't worry. And please don't think you can't come to me if something like this happens".
"I'm not a baby though, I swear. I don't want to have to start wearing diapers again"
"Of course, you're not, and of course you don't have to wear diapers. This is just a very small mishap. I think maybe what's happened here, is that you've needed the toilet in the night, but your ankle was hurting you and your brains told you not to get up and go to the toilet".
"But I don't even remember"
"That happens when we sleep, we don't always remember everything the next day. Remember when I told you about Aunty Brit dancing in her sleep, and how I'd always tell her about it in the morning, and she'd never remember".
"Yeah, that's so funny that Aunty Brit does that" Mila giggled.
"See, this is what we want! A nice big smile back on that beautiful face" said Santana, cupping Mila's face with her hands, before placing a kiss on her forehead and pulling her into a hug "Don't worry about any of this my angel. Let's get you cleaned up and then we can have a Mama and Mila day".
"I don't have to go to Dad's house?"
"No, I'm staying right here with you".
Mila smiled and cuddled in closer to her mom, and Santana was happy to see her daughter looking a lot lighter.
Santana felt a slight relief when she checked on Mila to find she had fallen asleep, because it meant she could call Brittany, who was on a half day. They had plans to FaceTime later tonight, but after the stress of the week, all she wanted to do was hear her girlfriend's voice, and she knew Brittany would be home by now because she finished around an hour ago.
In New York, Brittany was spending the afternoon with Denver talking through the final logistics of the annulment paperwork. They were doing everything in their power to avoid a court hearing, so Denver wanted everything to be slick, and Brittany was grateful that he was giving her his time like this. It was a headache to go through, so naturally seeing her girlfriend's name pop up on the screen brought a smile to her face, but she knew she needed to get this done because Denver needed to leave soon to pick his son up from school.
"Sorry Den, I'll just quickly take this" said Brittany, before answering the call and pressing the phone to her ear "Hey honey, am I okay to give you a call back? I'm just with Denver right now, sorting all the legal stuff, unless it's urgent?".
Having not received a response, Brittany frowned.
"Are you still there?"
Santana was still there, but she just didn't know what to say. All she had wanted to do was speak to Brittany, and all that was standing out to her was the fact that she couldn't right now, because her girlfriend was spending time with her ex-boyfriend, for the second time this week.
"Well, you know, I just wanted to speak to my girlfriend and hear her voice after having a really shitty week but, but I guess that's not urgent enough"
"You're mad" Brittany noted.
"Mad? No. But concerned? I'm not sure, should I be? Because this is the 2nd time this week that you've been with him, meanwhile I'm stuck on the other side of the country and I can't even call you. I mean, I don't know Brit, should I be worried that you're constantly around your ex-boyfriend, you two seem pretty cosy..."
Brittany could hear the stress in her girlfriend's voice, and it always upset her to see just how insecure Santana was. She left the room for some privacy, but she could already tell by Denver's face that he had overheard their conversation.
"Babe come on; you know why I've been with Denver so much this week. We're sorting through things for the annulment, it's not like we're just hanging out. Of course, I'd rather be speaking to you, but I need to get this done before Denver leaves to pick up Jacob".
"Well how much time does it need to take? You don't want to be married to Sam, he doesn't want to be married to you, end of. Sign the piece of paper and get it over with". Santana knew she was being completely irrational and taking her awful week out on Brittany, but now she was in this mood she couldn't snap out of it.
"I wish it was that simple..."
"I just don't like you spending so much time with him. I don't trust his motives".
"Christ Santana, Denver and I were over years ago" Brittany sighed in frustration "But more importantly, I love you. I only want to be with you, and I would never do anything to jeopardise our relationship, and it hurts me that you'd even think that. That's why I'm spending so much time with Denver. Not because he's my ex-boyfriend or because I want to hang out with him, but because I'm so committed to you and I don't want that to be tainted by being married to someone else, even if it is just a bit of paper".
Santana listened carefully, she knew Brittany loved her and she knew she would never cheat on her and that she was being unreasonable. She just missed her so much and was finding the long-distance hard on top of everything else this week. Mila's bed-wetting incident and seeing her child so distressed had been the last straw, and she just wanted her girlfriend's support, so to call her and hear that she was yet again with her ex-boyfriend so couldn't speak, had stirred up some real jealous feelings in Santana.
How was Denver getting to spend more time with Brittany than she was?
Even thinking about their relationship made Santana feel jealous, because they had bought a house together and lived together and got to do all the little things that Santana craved like come home to one another after a long day at work.
Santana knew that none of this was Brittany's fault, and inside she felt bad for her outburst, but she was also stubborn as hell.
"Yeah, well whatever, I won't keep you too long. I'll let you get back to him since my call isn't urgent enough"
"Santana don't be like this" Brittany whined.
"Bye Brit, I'll speak to you later" Santana sighed.
Feeling dejected, Brittany headed back into the living room where Denver was still seated at the table.
"Everything okay?" Denver asked, as she sat back down at the table.
"Yep, everything's fine." Brittany responded bluntly.
"I couldn't help but overhear you two arguing. If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears".
"I don't really want to discuss my relationship with you to be honest Denver, I'd rather just get on and get this finished" said Brittany, growing more frustrated, the argument she'd had with her girlfriend decreasing her own mood.
"Okay, understood." said Denver, holding his hands up "But just so you know Brittany, controlling relationships aren't healthy. You deserve better".
"Don't!" said Brittany sternly, slamming her pen down "Don't imply my relationship is something it's not Denver, you know nothing about us. My girlfriend is not controlling, she's loving and kind and supportive. She just doesn't like the idea of me hanging around with my ex-boyfriend that's all, and I mean for good reason, because speaking of controlling relationships let's take a look at our history. Really, that's rich coming from you!"
"Okay, I'm sorry, I won't stick my nose in where it's not wanted. Let's just get on with the paperwork".
"You know what actually, I think you should leave. We'll continue this another time".
Thursday
Brittany pulled out her phone to call Santana, desperate to speak to her and mend the tension between them that she had felt all day. Just as she suspected of her stubborn girlfriend, Santana had cancelled their FaceTime last night. She had text Brittany to say she was having an early night and didn't really feel like talking, but she had at least included a 'x' at the end.
From Santana's end, it wasn't really a lie, she really was exhausted and needed an early night to get her out of the funk she was in. She had felt much better waking up today, knowing she was only a day away from seeing Brittany, but she too could feel the unresolved tension between them as they text a couple times throughout the day, so she was relieved when she saw Brittany's name pop up on the phone.
"Hey" she said sheepishly.
"Hey you, are you up to talking tonight?"
At first Brittany got nothing, and she was worried Santana was giving her the silent treatment and still being stubborn, but then she heard Santana crying and her heart jolted.
"Santana, what's wrong?" she asked concerned.
"I'm really sorry for yesterday Brit. I really hate fighting with you, I'm just too stubborn for my own good sometimes. This week has just been such a struggle, and I miss you so much. I guess I just took my bad mood out on you, and I shouldn't have, but please forgive me?"
"Of course, I forgive you, and I understand. It kills me to think you've had such a bad week and I haven't been there to help you".
"You have helped." Santana sniffed "More than you know. I just think everything's got on top of me this week. My mom moving, Mila hurting herself, and then yesterday she wet the bed Brit. I found her trying to hide the sheets from me".
"Oh God bless her. Did she find it hard getting to the bathroom because of her ankle?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I mean she never usually wets the bed, the only time she has before is when we were going through the custody battle. I don't think it's anything to be concerned about, but it was awful seeing her like that and how embarrassed she felt that she had tried to hide it from me"
"I'm sorry honey, I should have been there for you. I just so desperately want to get things sorted with the annulment"
"No don't apologise, I'm the one who should be sorry".
"Just so long as you know that I would never ever cheat on you. I don't want you to be worried about things like that".
"I know that babe, I really do. I trust you 100%, like I said I was just taking the effects of the week out on you and I was angry that I couldn't physically see you. But it was wrong of me to do that, and I'm sorry. It's just...so hard all of this" Santana sighed.
"I don't want loving me to be hard though" Brittany admitted, and Santana could hear how disheartened she sounded.
"No baby, that's not what. I meant. Loving you is easy. The easiest thing in the world. It's all of the rest that gets in the way, that's what makes it hard. You being there, me being here. Texts, FaceTime's, Phone calls, it just...isn't enough. What I really want to do is hold your hand. Kiss you, lay down with you, and fall asleep next to you".
"I know sweetheart, I feel the same way" Brittany sighed.
"You do?"
"Of course, I do. I miss you more than anything when I'm not with you"
"I thought it was just me going crazy like this. You seem to handle the long-distance thing way better than I do"
"I'm just better at hiding it" said Brittany "Someone has to be the strong one, and you've always been the more emotional one out of the two of us. I know this is tough, but we'll get through it and we'll figure something out".
"Yeah..." Santana sighed "I love you Brit. I don't want you to think that I'm having doubts or second thoughts or anything like that, because I'm not. I wish it was easier, and I wish that we didn't live so far away from each other, but I'd suffer all of that to be with you".
"Good, because you're stuck with me" said Brittany, trying to change the conversation to a lighter topic "We get to see each other tomorrow, and have the best weekend, just the three of us. Let's focus on that".
"You're right let's be positive. Not long now".
"One more sleep baby". Brittany enthused.
When Brittany had finished speaking to Santana, she pulled up her messages and quickly typed out a message.
To: Kurt
I know I said originally that I might be able to do a few more days, but I definitely need to leave on the 24th as planned. I'll start on the handover stuff with Jenna on Monday x
Friday
The day was finally here, and if Mila wasn't injured, Santana would be running through pelt through the airport right now to greet her girlfriend. Instead, she carefully guided her daughter through the crowds of people, begrudging Mila's decision to not use a wheelchair. She insisted that she was fine with her walking boot, determined that she wanted to use her ankle as much as possible so not to lose too much strength.
As they got into the arrival's hall, Santana spotted Brittany and her heart began to flip, and suddenly Brittany was running towards her. Brittany almost knocked Santana over with the bone-crushing hug she gave her.
"Hi babe" she said pulling out of the hug and giving her a quick peck to greet her, before turning to Mila.
"And how's my little wounded soldier?"
"I'm super happy to be here Aunty Brit, I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too darling. Both of you" Brittany responded, pulling her in for a hug as she bent down.
"Come on" she said lifting Mila into her arms, and holding her on one side, while extending her free hand out to her girlfriend "Let's go home".
And even though they didn't live together, home for Brittany was Santana and Mila, and wherever they were.